The Underlying Causes of Social Anxiety, Shyness & Avoidant Personality Disorder
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
- Discover the factors behind social anxiety, based on current scientific findings.
Familial links: Socially anxious parents increase the likelihood of their children developing social anxiety.
Childhood temperament: Precautious and sensitive behavior in unfamiliar situations raises the risk of social anxiety, especially if observed during childhood.
Attachment styles: Insecure attachment increases the chances of social anxiety disorder.
Parenting styles: Overprotective, controlling, and rejecting parenting contributes to social anxiety.
Traumatic experiences: About 58% of social anxiety sufferers trace their condition back to traumatic events.
Observational learning: Witnessing others' traumatic social experiences, especially for those with socially anxious parents, can cause social anxiety.
Modeling behavior: Children learn social anxiety by observing their parents' anxious or avoidant behavior.
Negative life events: Childhood factors like frequent relocations, abuse, divorce, illness, and family conflict play a role in social anxiety.
Vicious cycle: Poor social performance leads to negative experiences, triggering more anxiety and avoidance.
Cognitive factors: Biased thinking patterns, focusing on threats, and low expectations contribute to social anxiety.
Biological factors: Hormonal responses, neurotransmitter activity, and brain activation play a role in social anxiety.
Cultural influence: Different cultural attitudes toward shyness impact the prevalence and impact of social anxiety.
Uncover the causes and influences behind social anxiety, shedding light on its effects on individuals and societies.
#SocialAnxiety #Causes #AvoidantPersonality
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Disclaimer: This Video Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read, heard, or seen on this channel.
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Genetics: 0:37
Temperament / Behavioral Inhibition: 0:58
Insecure Attachment Style: 1:33
Parenting Style: 2:18
Direct Conditioning Experiences: 2:47
Observational Learning: 3:19
Information Transfer: 3:38
Negative Life Events & Stressors: 4:02
Social Skills Deficit: 4:23
Cognitive Biases: 4:54
Neurobiological Vulnerabilities: 5:28
Peculiarities: 6:18
Cultural Influences: 6:46
Summary: 7:17
What music used in the video ?
What music used in the video ?
I’m terrified of being embarrassed.. I feel like where ever I go I’m secretly being judged. I know it’s all me.
Knowing it's all you is an important first step. Try to investigate this idea by interpreting other people behavior and reactions to you in a different way. Do they react this way because they are having a bad day? Does their behavior actually display friendly intentions? Etc.
Yup
Do you look at people when your on the streets? No? Then why would anyone look at you? Also it’s more likely people will stare if you’re really stressed out
Same. I had landed a good job after school but i felt like everybody was watching me and could not concentrate on my work so i decided to quit 😢
Same here , suffering
I have no kids, no girlfriend, no friend, could not finish college, never even been in love only once, but I refuse to stop fighting for my life, I just take it one day at a time
Good to hear you are not giving up! It sounds like you would benefit from a therapeutic process.
Well I've never been in love bit I'll keep fighting for it I know she's out there somewhere
Same here,find yourself in art it will keep u calm.Explore if u have composer,painter,poetic skills and put your emotions in music.Can we be friends? : )
I respect that so much ⭐
God bless you bro, never give up
I really want to switch schools or get amnesia to get a fresh start
This sounds like you are viewing social life as a competition. Competition means physical arousal, which relates to anxiety. Viewing social life as competition is common among SAD sufferers. Try to view it from different angles. You might want to explore if you can connect with others, instead of competing for social status.
I have a fear that everyones looking at me outside like I'm walking home and I think everyone is staring at me
That's a common feature of social anxiety. Excessive self-consciousness. Try to bring your attention towards something external.
My parents are so confident i wish i was like them
The cause of mine was definitely childhood bullying, over controlling parents and my mom has social anxiety.
Hi there, close family members with SAD are definitely a predisposing factor, combined with your unfortunate experiences it must have been tough. Make sure to reach out to a professional if you feel overwhelmed.
I’ve always had social anxiety but I realized the main reasons why is because of my step mom when I was 5-8 years old she treated me worse than a dog and blamed everything on me. Put me in a room for hours a day by myself when my dad was working
Hi ZaveoK! Thanks for sharing your experience! What you report makes sense, social isolation and being treated without the dignity everyone deserves, social anxiety can be a result. Your CSA Team
I was 14 years old when i first went to the store completely alone and bought a drink for myself..Now i’m 24 and i do so many things alone, and i’m proud of myself finally growing out of this mental habit. I don’t remember if i ever had a trauma back when i was kid, but i guess people judged me from my school.
SAD is no fun.
I also have these symptoms since my childhood but I never realize it earlier. I even feel uncomfortable in my relatives and friends and because of very poor communication I couldn't express myself fully and couldn't explore the things that life offers. When I see my friends or classmates expressing them very comfortably and learning so many things day by day I feel very depress. How could I overcome this condition of my mind 😰😢😢
So thankful for this!
I think for me, I developed SAD from a combination of genetics, parenting style, and direct conditioned experiences. This will help me understand what I need to focus on (reducing feelings of shame, more exposure/practice etc.) to help overcome my anxiety.
Glad you found it helpful! For counteracting feelings of shame, you may want to cultivate self-compassion (has been shown to counteract shame). Exposure is among the most powerful tools for people with SAD (usually people prefer to start with easier situations and slowly work their way up - make sure to expose yourself long enough for your initial fear response to subside - for very fearful individuals, imaginal exposures can be quite helpful as well). Your CSA Team
My mom always told me I was a happy baby… then over the years I became soo closed out of nowhere.. little does she know I was suffering from bullying in 1st grade, because I had a big mole on my leg. I told her about it and moved me schools. I wasn’t bullied there but I would always cry on the first day of school. I cried for a week whenever she dropped me off. I also cried when she dropped me off at kindergarten.. she I have an insecure attachment? Or?? Then Over the years I did become more quiet… she started getting mad at me for being like that and if I did say something she’d hit me because I wasn’t suppose to say that. I’m now 21 and I’m still shy. Idk what to do about it anymore.. weird thing is that my siblings are shy too. None of us are outgoing and suicidal butterflies. My older brother is 25 and is sooo shy! Worse than me maybe.. whenever guest come over he hides in his room. My older sister and I try to put ourselves out there and Although we don’t say much, we try out best to be around people and act like we enjoy the company. We truly don’t. My Mexican parents can’t seem to understand us, instead they call us really ruthless words about our social anxiety…. Idk what to do anymore…
May God give you strength.
My parents think I need therapy but I really don’t.. plus I hate the therapist.. I don’t like talking about my feelings but anyways I’m actually pretty happy not having a social life
Not talking about one's feelings is often one of the main problems of socially anxious people. Feeling we can't reveal our true selves to others generates pressure and anxiety of being found out. Even though it might be difficult and uncomfortable in the beginning, you might find its benefits are pretty awesome with time.
I have social anxiety comorbid with ocd. I feel like i've always known i have social anxiety but back then I was too scared to reach out and ask for help. I had the exact same thought, meh, worst case scenario would be that I'd never have a social life and it didn't seem like a big deal to me. However, my junior year in high school, i had a mental breakdown since the ocd was getting out of control i was so desperate and felt like i hit rock bottom. At that point my city was on lockdown so I couldn't seek professional help and had to deal with my mental illness on my own for 4 months. Only when the mental crisis hit did I acknowledge that I had problems. Take it from me the thing I regret most is not getting help sooner.
This was interesting I've been dealing with this for years.
I grew up in an physical and mentally abusive home always moving around from school to school my older brother who was my protector died when I was ten years old. I'm starting to understand that reasons for my social anxiety
I’m sorry luv💋❤️
I went through all mental illnesses and disorders now and they all relate to me
Hey! Thanks for your comment! You are right, many people with PTSD also suffer from social anxiety disorder. Some studies suggest that it is almost every second person.
Also, note that every person can somehow relate to most disorders - however, to qualify for a diagnosis these traits need to be more than average.
If you feel overwhelmed, you may want to reach out to your mental health care professional.
All the best, Your CSA Team
I agree with the parenting part. As a kid anytime I went to anything social with my parents, they would always force me to talk to people I didn’t know. Then anytime they saw me talking to people who they didn’t know or was white (because ngl They’re racist), they would always judge and always assume that they were gay and trying to rape me( if they were male), trying to offer me drugs, or that they liked me ( if they were a girl). And if it was a friend who was a girl, my dad would always talk to them to get them to go out with me or just keep saying that “You like him and you know it” when they didn’t and this would make things annoying and awkward between me and my friends to the point where we would avoid talking to each other so that he would stop. Then, anytime a friend whose parent they didn’t know wanted me to hang out with them my parents would always make an excuse for me not to go. In the end, I just gave up with trying to do things with my friends and we drifted apart and stop doing social things because I wouldn’t have no one to go to and will just be lonely. Then they negatively about me when I would be inside the same room or building that they are in and my mom was a bad whisperer and my had bad hearing so it was really easy to hear what they were talking about. Anytime I tried to bring it up they would just lie and say that they didn’t say that or tell me to mind my own business. It got to the point where I just had enough of it and just said that I’ll just keep to myself and stay out their way so that I won’t hear them talking about me as much as I used to. For a while, it did work but now they assume that high school is the reason for me being “shy” and force me to do things that I don’t want. Now they say things like “If you weren’t shy and just talk to people you’ll have more friends. Stop being shy. High school is the reason why no girl talks to you”
Hey Jeremy, thank you for sharing your experiences. "Stop being shy" is probably one of the most frequent and least helpful advise given to people with social anxiety. It indeed sounds like the way you were brought up and treated has affected you in many ways. It seems like you have already made an important realization: that you are not to blame for you situation and your social anxiety. Have you heard of and tried self-compassion? It might be helpful in your case. Among our videos you can find a self-compassion meditation that aims to change the way you treat yourself and your SAD symptoms, with steady practice you might experience some positive results. If you want to read about it, check out our free eBook, two of the 17 approaches presented in it are specifically based in self-compassion: bit.ly/conquerebookyoutube
Please feel free to share your experiences or any questions you might have with us! You CSA team
i have extreme social anxiety because i have chronic bad breath and big eyebags that won't go away.
While there might be some things you can change about these attributes (consult with dentist etc.), keep in mind that there are many people with the same characteristics who feel comfortable with who they are. There is a way to feel better!
I get this when everything slows down, the whole world becomes slow I can't process what people are saying to me, I get terrible short term memory loss, constantly second guessing myself, and it quickly becomes self hate. I think it must be to do with self esteem.
Then other times I'm full of energy my brain is full of positive thoughts and I can socialise without being to sensitive, I've seen a few people I know on Facebook kill themselves recently and I'm not gonna let this be me, tailor your life around this issue to make it as stress free as possible.
Respect to you all
Hi Elon, thanks for sharing your experience! You may want to check out our article on self-compassion, as it addresses self-blame, self-hate and self-criticism and provides an antidote.
www.conquersocialanxiety.com/self-compassion/
All the best!
@@conquersocialanxiety gonna sit down and watch this later, thanks for that!
I also have social anxiety and I feared to go out and meet new and I feel uncomfortable around peoples
You might want to consider facing situations that make you feel uncomfortable, little by little. It will probably get better with time.
That’s amazing that you brought up cultural influences. I’m from an Asian-dominant city in Canada and as a Canadian of Asian descent have always felt trapped between 2 identities - not quite fitting in either, but not belonging elsewhere either. Definitely does not help my social anxiety
Hi Tay! That makes sense, sounds like you got a little bit of both (fear of negative evaluation & fear of offending others?) Check out our video regarding the types of social anxiety, in dives into these different versions of SAD. Your CSA Team
I didn’t get Diagnosed with anxiety until I finish high school but all my life I’ve felt like I wasn’t perfect to anyone of my friends, they’d brag about what they got that day or what they were getting that week.
And high school really done me in, with being put down for not wanting to do anything after school during high school cause what happened one summer.
We went to a swimming hole not too big but it was still a good size.
There was 15+ classmates between different classes, everyone was having fun jumping in the water hole while I watched on cause “I can’t swim to save my life cause no one ever Taught me how to swim” I had a few people ask why I wasn’t going in, apparently not feeling well isn’t good enough cause not 5 minutes later minding my own business I had 3 guys from my class pick me up and throw me down a good 30+ foot drop.
All I came remember from that day is I hit that water then I was on the rocks laying down facing up at everyone. Come to find out i blacked out in the water and I was told There was no air bubbles coming up that’s when 6 people dove in and dragged me up to the rocks and tried to get to wake up and waited and waited, The second I started coughing water they were Relieved but Morley scared cause of me being out like a light for close to 45 minutes. Well they all told me if it went on for that hour the would of took me to the Hospital
Researchers and therapists are failing. I’ve had this disorder my whole life and I’m 51 now. This disorder has ruined my self esteem and made me lonely and depressed. I’ve reached out for help my entire life to no avail. I don’t know what’s caused the problem and don’t care anymore, I just want a lobotomy and to become a normal human.
My social anxiety is a very interesting one. 10 or so years ago it started as general anxiety. At that time I was a complete social butterfly in high school. The last handful of years has progressed into horrible social anxiety where many times I break out into rashes on my face and neck. It’s the most demoralizing thing on the planet. I came across one study one day about the correlation with a root canal and social anxiety and I had recently gotten my first root canal when my social anxiety picked up. For me I’ll always live with anxiety but I have to get rid of the rash thing it horrible
how do I get rid of this? I’m so tired of being this way. All my life I’ve been this quiet girl and I’m just tired of not being able to speak up. Why did I develop this disorder? Why can’t I be like everyone else? Growing up, I always remember being left out in everything. I remember being so sensitive, quiet and “smart”. I don’t know but it feels as if I’ve been having this disorder ever since I was small. I hate attention, I hate making mistakes, I hate feeling embarrassed, I hate being left out so much. All my life I’ve had this fear of being alone so I would hang out with people that made me feel bad about myself. I grew to be more insecure, which led to depression. I always feared judgement, so I avoided social interactions with those I didn’t trust. I personally don’t trust anyone I don’t know, which led to me not speaking to others. I always feel like a burden, I feel left out, I feel like others don’t like me. I feel like I’m not enough for them, I always feel like no one hears me. I always feel like I have nothing to say. I always feel like I contribute nothing to anyone. I feel like im not important enough for others. I feel like im being judged all the time. I feel like crying all the time. I feel so tired all the time. I feel like a weirdo all the time. I don’t fit in. Anywhere I go, im just there? Why can’t I be social like everyone else? I know im the problem, but I don’t know how to fix it? Where do I start? Is it too late? I don’t want to get better? I’d rather feel this way than nothing. Im addicted to feeling sad. I know this all sounds so confusing and cliché, but everything I’ve said in here is how I feel. All these thoughts consume my mind. I can’t think of anything else but the negative thoughts. Why doesn’t therapy help? Here’s my reason. 1. I don’t trust my therapist. I can’t tell her everything because she’ll tell my mom, and I’ll feel embarrassed, upset, and weird. 2. I genially think she can’t help me because I deep inside I know I’ll never get better and that’s what the problem is. I don’t want to get better, because being miserable is all I’ve ever felt my entire life. I wouldn’t know how to feel without that feeling. It’s like a part of me would be missing. 3. I have a feeling I won’t be here for long. I feel like life will be short for me so what’s the point? 4. Social anxiety & therapy? uh oh, not a great combination.. definitely not great. 5. Deep inside of me, I’ve accepted that I’ll be miserable my entire life. There’s no way of helping someone who doesn’t want help. I’m the problem.
I just would wish for this to all end at some point, I don’t know how. I just want it to end quickly. I don’t know if im su!cidle? I wouldn’t know how to feel if I was. I don’t want to die, I can’t. I cannot leave my brother behind, I just can’t. I just want to sleep, close my eyes and relax for a bit, maybe eternally. If only. Maybe return and be someone completely different.
I know I know I know this sounds so corny, edgy and weird. I know I know but this is the only way I could explain it. I just need for everything and everyone to go away and leave me alone. I want to be alone forever, I want my mind and soul to be in peace for once. I don’t know but I feel like I’ll die some time soon. I don’t see myself living long enough. But for now I just wish to disappear for a little. Maybe restart life.
Hi Gris. Thank you for sharing this. Many of the things you mention commonly happen to people with SAD. Your words seem to reveal a high degree of self-criticism. The more you criticize yourself, especially for being socially anxious, the more social anxiety tends to be the result. You are certainly not the problem. As this video shows, social anxiety results from various factors playing together, factors you could not influence. Your therapist is legally bound to be discrete and cannot tell your mother what share with her (unless you are not an adult yet and depending on local and national laws of your country). If you have been in therapy for a while and feel that it does not help you, you may consider changing therapists. Therapy works, but it is crucial that you and your therapist are a good fit. You can get out of this, many people have done so. Self-compassion seems like a good concept to get acquainted with. Here is a read to get started: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/self-compassion/ Also, do not expect to find a magic solution that changes everything from one day to the other. It is about giving yourself time, changing the relationship you have with yourself, becoming more kind, understanding, forgiving with yourself. Allowing yourself to be different (you mentioned that there is part of you that does not want to change). All of this takes time, and discussing this regularly with your therapist is certainly going to be helpful, if you guys are a good fit and you trust in her/him.
I completely agree with everything you say,I have the same things going on and it just seems to pull me into quicksand in my mind,hard thing to deal with for sure.
I’m only like this when I’m with people who are not my immediate family. Everywhere i go I’m socially anxious and so are my siblings
Strange that both of my parent's are extroverted but ive always been anxious around groups of people and at times now
Being bullied really triggered my S A D
Hi again Strawberries Blueberries, being bullied is a tough experience and is often reported by many people with SAD. Sorry you have had this experience. Make sure to reach out to a professional if you feel overwhelmed or want to work these things through.
I have it my self and stress too it's not nice at all 😥
We are working on videos that explain different approaches to overcome it. As soon as they are done we will post them on our channel!
This is exactly what i needed to hear!
Great! Consider subscribing, we are working on more in depth videos!
It's definitely my parents. They're literally rhe cause of all my problems
I will try to maintain all the tips
Stay tuned for future videos with more practical advice based on scientific research!
my dad neglect me a lot and say bad things to me since i was a baby and i was born not planned so my mom is kind of traumatic back when she was preganant though i didn't really heard from his dad's voice that he neglects me i heard my mom and sis talked abt it one day and now i think it all makes sense that i have SAD, i mean is that accurate??
Just Redd, there are many things that play together when it comes to the causes of SAD. It might be the neglect you mention, the bad treatment you got from your dad (negative messages), a genetic predisposition, traumatizing events etc. Most likely it is some kind of combination of some of these things.
In public places I can’t walk correctly because of the anxiety hood Millennials give me
You are probably engaging in heightened self-consciousness. Try to train your ability to direct your attention. When you feel self-conscious and focus on the way you are walking, move your focus towards something external.
I feel exactly the same way...
My only problem is that when I socialize my lips movement go uncontrollably its very hell to me any one there like me ?
There are many people wo experience the same symptom. It is a common feature of social anxiety. The best way to counteract this type of symptom is by learning to bring your attention to something external. Since it happens when you socialize, it would probably be helpful to bring your focus to what exactly is being said, active listening.
Probably have social anxiety
Check out our other videos to find out more about it. We are working on a video which will allow you to take an official test.
Love the drawing/ animation
thanks this video cover the subject from many areas
Hello, are there supplements to treat performance anxiety? When I stand on stage, I feel sweaty, my body shakes, and my heartbeat increases.
Hello! Indeed, various supplements have undergone scientific research and demonstrated anxiolytic effects. CBD products (without THC) have shown notable efficacy in reducing anxiety, particularly in public speaking situations. Another option is Ashwagandha, which has also proven effective. For a comprehensive list of recommended products and services tailored for social anxiety, you can refer to our article here: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/services-products-for-social-anxiety/
thank you@@conquersocialanxiety
I wonder why Dopamine and Serotonin are always implicated in this when it is GABAergic/Glutamatergic drugs that do the best job of treating of treating the symptoms.
Why it's only me. I have never seen anyone like me in my life .I bet I have the worst of social anxiety than anyone .
It's thousands time that I ve tried to end this cycle.i see no hope .
Thank you dear. for your Awareness video
There will be more soon to come!
Im too scared to call my work who hasn’t called me back in two weeks for my training ( yes they gave me the job) and my mom keeps saying in overreacting even though I’ve been diagnose with social anxiety by a doctor. Anybody got advice?
2:18 I’ve never felt so understood😭
This is helpful, thanks Xx
Good to hear that! We are working on more content like this, stay tuned! :)
I found the backgroubd music far too distracting for ne to be able to ficus in wgat was veing saud. I wish UA-camrs would stop flooding their videos with this sort of noise; it gets in the way, massively .
Can we control social anxiety on our own?
Hey Roy, that depends! Everybody is different. If you feel like you can't handle it by yourself, you might want to consider consulting a mental health professional. However, there are many things you can do to better handle your social anxiety. For example, check out our section on tips for social anxiety: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/treatment/tips/
Thanks... Could you do one about how marijuana affects/cures anxiety? I mean really dumb it down so that even i can understand it.
It is a good and interesting topic. We will look into it in the future!
Thanks for the information
Stay tuned for future videos!
I had bad teeth and got bullied constantly I think it has to do it
Brian’s Chew toy it most likely does I hope you get better with your anxiety
I am going to a concert and there is going to be a lot of people does anyone know techniques that helped?
It depends on your specific fears. It might be a good idea to get a seat/spot in an area which doesn't overwhelm you. It is great that you are going to the concert despite your concerns!
Just have a fun while doing your performance, if you made a mistake people will simply ignore it, they want your emotions, positive energy, they know that nobody is perfect, everbody make mistakes. If people start to dance then you will know that what you are doing is right. 🙂
If you are planning to perform in front of people.
Am not complaining but i think that my family and my environment has always been a huge cause of social anxiety ...i think am not at the ryt place because they always hurt me😢
Hi Ayushi! Thanks for sharing your difficult experience and situation. Social anxiety is often the result of such negative circumstances. Be sure to reach out to a professional if you feel overwhelmed. For many people, it can be helpful to start creating circumstances that suit them (job, friends, how to spend free time, etc.). All the best!
I've been so bad at managing my social anxiety symptoms heh!
There will be videos with practical tips soon! Stay tuned
What is Social Anxiety
Check out our other videos, basically it describes an excessive fear of being judged, negatively evaluated or rejected.
Something that happened today:
Mine just has be genetics
It sucks being young.
Worst scenario, really feel shame
Shame is one of the driving forces of social anxiety. Men often struggle with an extra layer, since society expects them to act in a dominant way. Not fulfilling this expectation can lead to additional shame.
I just hate carbon base matters (human beings)
We hope our channel helps you gradually questioning this belief.