Why The Generals Hid The Nukes, And What Caused Nicki Minaj To Skip The Met Gala

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  • Опубліковано 13 вер 2021
  • In Stephen's Tuesday night monologue he looks at revelations from Bob Woodward's new book, which alleges that China and the Pentagon each had serious concerns about the former president's access to nuclear weapons, and he checks on friend of the show Nicki Minaj after her comments about vaccines set off a social media firestorm. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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    ---
    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,2 тис.

  • @typerexc
    @typerexc 2 роки тому +148

    I continue to be grateful that you visually bleep out his name.

  • @jfvira9844
    @jfvira9844 2 роки тому +196

    The Fat man, Little boy reference was epic!

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @cisco8650
      @cisco8650 2 роки тому +4

      Almost prophetic on the part of the folks who named the bombs. It's like they knew a dangerous fatman with the mentality of a little boy would be in charge of the US nuclear arsenal.

    • @sfsen
      @sfsen 2 роки тому

      Why most people make fun of Trump's and his family's looks?
      Isn't there enough materials out there to make fun of the covfefe boy?

  • @sanchayanmondal3930
    @sanchayanmondal3930 2 роки тому +20

    I spit my coffee when he said “new friends to hang with” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @JillFaucherRoss
    @JillFaucherRoss 2 роки тому +125

    "I don't wanna be your friend anymore!" Sounds like something my brothers and I used to say to each other - AS 4, 5 and 6 YEAR OLD KIDS!

    • @cynben711
      @cynben711 2 роки тому +6

      As if anybody would be that guy’s friend. Ick.

    • @rangerleaf1505
      @rangerleaf1505 2 роки тому +4

      @@cynben711 depends do I get money out of it that can help with my grandmother's medical bills

  • @colonelangus1709
    @colonelangus1709 2 роки тому +188

    ...."maybe we should've been a little more terrified"... yes..
    I was terrified when he ran, let alone when he got elected.. and then the four years of extreme bullshit..
    Never underestimate the stupidity of people

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @parrisprice5892
      @parrisprice5892 2 роки тому +26

      The best thing dump ever did? Convince me things were so bad when he got " elected" , I had to register and vote to make sure that NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN

    • @soul0360
      @soul0360 2 роки тому +19

      I'm an avid student of geopolitical history from Europe.
      I felt the same as you. But we are not out of the woods yet, as I'm sure you'd agree.
      All the chaos he has created, is going to be felt for years to come. Not only in the US, but across the globe.
      On a positive note. Since he has gotten all of the MAGA heads out of the woodwork. A lot of the systemic problems in the US now gets talked about. And I believe that it is now impossible, for the average American to claim ignorance, and not take a stand. Even on problems that doesn't affect them directly. Politicians are showing their true colors, in order to cater to these MAGA misfits.
      This means that should your democracy survive, the further insurrections, that I'm sure will come. There is a chance, for positive change via the ballot box. Provided you actually make politicians accountable for their actions, when deciding whether to keep them in office, or voting for someone else.

    • @cisco8650
      @cisco8650 2 роки тому +16

      I was more terrified that trumpism revealed the crazy amount of dangerous, insane republicans exists.

    • @Sig2423
      @Sig2423 2 роки тому +1

      Ya felt really hitlery when he started getting support fr people then alllll the rest 🇨🇦

  • @BebbaDubbs
    @BebbaDubbs 2 роки тому +444

    "The Lard Father" just make me snort-laugh cola out my nose. It burns like a MFer, but it was worth it!

    • @NoHandle44
      @NoHandle44 2 роки тому +5

      It takes a lot to get me to laugh.
      The last time I lost it was when I heard, *"I've come to make an announcement!"*

    • @CaptainGinyu
      @CaptainGinyu 2 роки тому +1

      ua-cam.com/video/-uSKf4WEKCY/v-deo.html

    • @lizbmusic11
      @lizbmusic11 2 роки тому

      Me too

    • @lizbmusic11
      @lizbmusic11 2 роки тому +7

      @@CaptainGinyu no one's gonna click your link. Why waste your time?

    • @lizbmusic11
      @lizbmusic11 2 роки тому +4

      @@santuychan4607 go away. You're boring 😴

  • @ryandonahue6510
    @ryandonahue6510 2 роки тому +139

    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

    • @ryandonahue6510
      @ryandonahue6510 2 роки тому

      @@Primus-ue4th shit made my day bro, thank you.

    • @trainwrecktoldya5298
      @trainwrecktoldya5298 2 роки тому +1

      Sheep are to consume, be herded not heard. Shut up and take your propaganda little sheep

    • @dragomilosevic4823
      @dragomilosevic4823 2 роки тому +2

      Exactly why i won't get vaccinated

    • @johnross8614
      @johnross8614 2 роки тому +3

      Who cares if you Russian trolls don’t get vaccinated Dragoski

    • @johnross8614
      @johnross8614 2 роки тому +2

      Ignore the Russian troll trainwreckski told yavuch

  • @Myoldusernamewasgood
    @Myoldusernamewasgood 2 роки тому +9

    "New friends to hang with" is a new bench mark for top shelf word play.

  • @enegmatixerebro
    @enegmatixerebro 2 роки тому +43

    The Lardfather was ready to throw a nuclear bomb at a hurricane before

  • @callen9623
    @callen9623 2 роки тому +184

    “...New friends to hang with” lol wow great use of dark humor

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @lanwang4184
      @lanwang4184 2 роки тому

      @@santuychan4607 c

    • @outseeker
      @outseeker 2 роки тому +1

      loves me some gallows humour :>

  • @holyland6380
    @holyland6380 2 роки тому +9

    Thank you, General Mark Milley!

    • @holyland6380
      @holyland6380 2 роки тому +2

      @@Steviewonderisntblind Nope, the 1-term POS betrays our country. Milley is loyal to our country, not to one POS.

    • @LawrenceAugust_
      @LawrenceAugust_ 2 роки тому

      @@holyland6380 Bullshit. 100% bullshit.

  • @shesails25
    @shesails25 2 роки тому +9

    "Lardfather" I laughed so hard I almost peed myself!
    Gotta love Steve!❤

  • @Alcagaur1
    @Alcagaur1 2 роки тому +720

    So, the atomic edition of "I've taken Grandpa's car keys because we all remember what happened last time ..."

    • @maxdoubt5219
      @maxdoubt5219 2 роки тому +6

      Ha! Alc, y're a wit.

    • @KristiContemplates
      @KristiContemplates 2 роки тому +28

      Accurate and so disturbing 😅

    • @X2LR8
      @X2LR8 2 роки тому +6

      That's treason ya know. Many are now calling for General Milley to be brought up on charges.

    • @kevinmcconnell9426
      @kevinmcconnell9426 2 роки тому +47

      @@X2LR8 refusing to follow illegal orders is the responsibility of soldiers of every rank!!

    • @sawtooth808
      @sawtooth808 2 роки тому +29

      @@X2LR8 then you might want to bring up those 4 generals who physically restrained Richard Nixon during the height of Watergate (one of whom iirc sucker punched Nixon as well) for treason(in this case post humous) What Gen.Milley did was uncommon, but not unprecedented.

  • @pushinkeys
    @pushinkeys 2 роки тому +30

    “Bone Spurs n Harmony”.. 😂😂😅

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @Roseclan24
      @Roseclan24 2 роки тому +1

      Yeah that made me outright laugh

  • @ReverendRaff
    @ReverendRaff 2 роки тому +13

    "I don't want to be your friend anymore if you don't do this".
    If anyone ever needed any more proof of what a Man-child the former president is, that's it.

  • @mariaelenavazquez9297
    @mariaelenavazquez9297 2 роки тому +23

    He really is the type of guy who would forget the birthday of his kids and if there’s a party he would be jealous.

  • @virginiatyree6705
    @virginiatyree6705 2 роки тому +172

    Hey Stephen & the Team, Give the writers a raise for that "Fat Man, Little Boy". It was soooo funny & accurate! Thanks for posting. v

    • @marcuscrowley6496
      @marcuscrowley6496 2 роки тому +2

      Unless your grandparents were Japanese.

    • @fairdinkum977
      @fairdinkum977 2 роки тому +6

      @@marcuscrowley6496 when was the last time you were invited to a party?

    • @comfortablynumb9342
      @comfortablynumb9342 2 роки тому +4

      @@marcuscrowley6496 my grandparents fought the Japanese. And it wasn't an anti Japanese joke, it was about nuclear bombs and an idiot. Relax.

    • @nhjay334
      @nhjay334 2 роки тому +1

      That was probably the the only part that was funny

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 2 роки тому +1

      @@marcuscrowley6496 , Agreed, terrible for the citizens of Japan. I am unable to change history. All nukes should be decommissioned. v

  • @DavidBagga
    @DavidBagga 2 роки тому +210

    I think we can all agree no matter how bad our day is, Stephen Colbert will make us laugh and brighten our day. Thx for bringing us so much laughter and joy in our lives Stephen

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @sw6088
      @sw6088 2 роки тому +4

      Na he’s trash I’m just here to see if he mentioned Norm McDonald.

    • @davewinship1826
      @davewinship1826 2 роки тому +1

      Exactly! 👍👍👍

    • @lillyanderson3623
      @lillyanderson3623 2 роки тому +5

      @@sw6088 That's not why. You're just a miserable troll.

    • @NecroSage
      @NecroSage 2 роки тому +1

      @@lillyanderson3623 do you own a doghouse?

  • @tomjohnson9338
    @tomjohnson9338 2 роки тому +18

    "I don't want to be your friend anymore if you don't do this." What is he, seven? JHC!

  • @sfisabbt
    @sfisabbt 2 роки тому +131

    I'm still pretty convinced that the nuclear codes are "person woman man camera tv".

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 2 роки тому +7

      Which is great, but I doubt he could ever spell any of that.

    • @rhetoricalquestion6009
      @rhetoricalquestion6009 2 роки тому +11

      @@couragekarnga8735 To be fair, he did spell "TV" pretty good.

    • @daviegriffin3539
      @daviegriffin3539 2 роки тому +4

      @@rhetoricalquestion6009 🔥😁🤣🤘🏽👍🤣

    • @MrGgabber
      @MrGgabber 2 роки тому +1

      Lord, we all know Biden couldn't get past the first of those words

    • @RolandSxxx1
      @RolandSxxx1 2 роки тому +2

      Milley changed the codes to Salad and Exercise because he knew it would never occur to drumpf

  • @lesliewolfe7643
    @lesliewolfe7643 2 роки тому +910

    Not going to lie, the thought that Trump may start firing off nukes crossed my mind back when all that was happening. That whole "if I can't have the country then nobody can" mentality.

    • @parrisprice5892
      @parrisprice5892 2 роки тому +64

      I knew dump would try to burn it all down if he lost. It wasnt a hard prediction, just pick the most heinous act a person could commit ,and thats dump

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому +53

      The more scary part was hearing the Chinese considered an attack risk: that's when trigger fingers get nervous and mistakes are made. We may have dodged a bullet there.

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 2 роки тому +30

      Sincerely, that was one the thoughts at the start of every day in Colonel Bonespures presidency 🙄

    • @WizInsight108
      @WizInsight108 2 роки тому +18

      I was always thought Trump would let the Russian's march in DC.

    • @angiej4865
      @angiej4865 2 роки тому +16

      Mine too. I counted the days down to the inauguration...

  • @kaidianstone59
    @kaidianstone59 2 роки тому +345

    "Fat man who acts like a little boy", classic!

    • @ianmangham4570
      @ianmangham4570 2 роки тому +4

      Biden may be stupid but he ain't fat.

    • @fadedrose9
      @fadedrose9 2 роки тому +2

      Ian Mangham He's not stupid either, so ZERO for you.

    • @johnross8614
      @johnross8614 2 роки тому +1

      Ignore the Russian troll Ianski Manghamvich

    • @ianmangham4570
      @ianmangham4570 2 роки тому +1

      @@johnross8614 Go make me a daisy chain MARY 😊

    • @ianmangham4570
      @ianmangham4570 2 роки тому +1

      @@fadedrose9 Hello mandy 😘

  • @samann95014
    @samann95014 2 роки тому +51

    "He is a Fatman behaving like Little Boy." Very well said.

  • @michaelcomisse9478
    @michaelcomisse9478 2 роки тому +13

    That was one of his best monos. Whoever wrote that is great

  • @dezznuts.935
    @dezznuts.935 2 роки тому +99

    Matthew Mcconaughey playing Mitt Romney, that was hysterical...

    • @beckywithgoodhair19
      @beckywithgoodhair19 2 роки тому +3

      If you like that, check out Seth Meyer's brother playing Gavin Newsome on his show. Hilarious!

    • @MatthewPettyST1300
      @MatthewPettyST1300 2 роки тому +3

      Who didn't instantly see the image in their mind when he said that ?

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому +2

      It was a highpoint amongst one of the best monologues

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 2 роки тому +47

    RIP Norm Macdonald

  • @CloudsGirl7
    @CloudsGirl7 2 роки тому +263

    Drumpf: "I don't want to be your friend anymore if you don't do this."
    Gollum: "You don't have any friends! Nobody likes you!"

    • @ecthelion222
      @ecthelion222 2 роки тому +4

      Lmao! Priceless. That made my day.

    • @steveaustin2686
      @steveaustin2686 2 роки тому +8

      Trump having a Gollum-like alter-ego would explain SOO many things.

    • @altrusianwolfdog2564
      @altrusianwolfdog2564 2 роки тому +1

      @@steveaustin2686 He does, they are called Democrats who come from the land of we make shit up and believe it.....

    • @ariasiriuscouldbe9457
      @ariasiriuscouldbe9457 2 роки тому +9

      @@altrusianwolfdog2564 Right, Democrats just "made up" millions of dollars funneled to the Fat One's followers, and Congressional crazies all texting about his Big Lie, groups discussing it on Facebook, then videotaping themselves at the Capitol beating policemen with flagpoles and stealing stuff, and planting bombs around the Capitol. Yep, no evidence there. The gallows they built wasn't there either. Doublethink. Orwell much?

    • @thePronto
      @thePronto 2 роки тому +4

      He should be taken off to the insane asylum for that alone...

  • @ebthedoc4992
    @ebthedoc4992 2 роки тому +21

    The only thing missing was “Start spreadin’ the news…” behind Broadway.
    Great opening!

  • @annishilcock4587
    @annishilcock4587 2 роки тому +13

    Thank you Stepehn for so brilliantly lampooning this crazy world.. In the sadness you make me laugh!

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 2 роки тому +1015

    Well, there was a legit concern that he'd drop a nuke on a hurricane, so... we're surprised about this, why?

    • @brucesmith3740
      @brucesmith3740 2 роки тому +10

      there was no reason to be concerned. milley is a traitor. he was the one who was involved in an insurrection.

    • @Marijuanifornia
      @Marijuanifornia 2 роки тому +32

      He dropped the MOAB, the largest non-nuclear bomb since World War II. Trump would have loved to have launched a nuclear missile since it would have to be recorded in history with his name attached to it, like he'd be joining a super elite club of US Presidents.
      The Left really needs its own January 6 to force Joe Biden to put Trump in prison. Obama let Bush go and Republicans didn't learn any lessons so we got Trump. If we're serious when we say things like, "Never forget," or "Never again," this is what it means. But Trump isn't in prison. He's planning a re-election campaign.

    • @telectronix1368
      @telectronix1368 2 роки тому +31

      @@Marijuanifornia Trump doesn't really "see" people, he thinks in terms of 'things' like buildings or numbers.
      He would love to drop a bomb because it would have been a big 'thing' to do.

    • @telectronix1368
      @telectronix1368 2 роки тому +9

      @@easternsun167 'not to start a war'
      😂

    • @RalphInRalphWorld
      @RalphInRalphWorld 2 роки тому +11

      @@Marijuanifornia you lost me with the Jan 6th part. That type of action is uncalled-for for these circumstances.

  • @starweaverstyle
    @starweaverstyle 2 роки тому +2

    "My cousin in Trinidad told me his friend's balls voted twice!" #WeveGotAGreatShowForYouTonight I'll freaking well say so! 😅😂🤣

  • @rooharris9099
    @rooharris9099 2 роки тому +5

    Loved the "His children's birthdays" LMAO

  • @philgroves7694
    @philgroves7694 2 роки тому +107

    We actually lived through a Dr. Strangelove moment.

    • @suereed3474
      @suereed3474 2 роки тому +7

      Laughter is the best medicine. But we have to ensure it doesn't diminish the horror

    • @raptango_na6199
      @raptango_na6199 2 роки тому

      guarantee you Milley will be forced to retire over this. Its actually treason

    • @suereed3474
      @suereed3474 2 роки тому +5

      @@raptango_na6199 It seems anyone remotely associated with Trump has their lives ruined, with the exception of Sarah Huckabee and Nikki Haley.

    • @raptango_na6199
      @raptango_na6199 2 роки тому

      @@suereed3474 Except the american taxpayer whose lives improved under Trump. Milley did this to himself. Just looking at him he's obviously crazy. He looks like he's going to explode half the time

    • @raptango_na6199
      @raptango_na6199 2 роки тому

      @tahoe twilight
      Milley will either be forced to resign or retire. His career is over. No one will ever trust him again. He went away over the line here. Just looking at him you can see something is wrong with the guy.

  • @dxprt1378
    @dxprt1378 2 роки тому +37

    “My cousin in Trinidad told me his friend’s balls voted twice…” 😂

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому +4

      Baller fraud!

    • @jcoptimus
      @jcoptimus 2 роки тому +5

      Yeah but they didn't vote for the same guy. One is left, the other is right.

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому +1

      @@jcoptimus It would work if US politics had a real left. I think Mr Trinidad hangs to the right

  • @bizonc
    @bizonc 2 роки тому +15

    I cringe when I hear politicians say “Do your own research” and people without basic research skills and science literacy say “I’m doing my research”. You know where that leads. Junk sources and antidotal garbage

    • @GwenKillerby
      @GwenKillerby 2 роки тому

      I suppose you mean "anecdotal" ????

  • @janedoe1913
    @janedoe1913 2 роки тому +68

    I think Milley should be rewarded for his babysitting heroics! He most likely averted certain catastrophe.

    • @RWAsur
      @RWAsur 2 роки тому +6

      Often, these heroes are persecuted instead, sadly. JFK narrowly stopped a nuclear crisis and instead of media rejoice he got a bullet. I hope Milley is going to go the other way but they're already clamoring for his resignation despite Biden holding strong for Milley.

    • @EddieRay724
      @EddieRay724 2 роки тому +8

      If Rush Limpaugh can get a medal, Milley should certainly get a bigger one.

    • @billbillson5082
      @billbillson5082 2 роки тому +2

      You’re protecting a general who undermined a sitting president, over an asinine belief that Trump would fire all of our nukes. How silly do you have to be?
      Get out of your bubble, you sound insane.

    • @EddieRay724
      @EddieRay724 2 роки тому +8

      Bill Billson Milley didn't "undermine" anyone. He provided a backstop in case a President who sounded insane and lived in a bubble did something really stupid.

    • @evatripp7788
      @evatripp7788 2 роки тому +6

      limbaugh getting that medal desecrated that medal.

  • @BlunderDownUnder
    @BlunderDownUnder 2 роки тому +217

    "Mike Pence found some new friends to hang with" - give this writer an Emmy!

    • @jefschobert9765
      @jefschobert9765 2 роки тому +3

      Petty like a discarded pawn🎶
      They call him... Don
      🎼Don, go away, you're no good for us
      He He Don, staying loyal he'll put
      The screws to you
      The crowd says
      Hang Mike ( hang Mike)
      Hang Mike Pence
      Think-(stink) what a lost man he'll be
      Think-(stink) of the prison's he'll see
      Can you smell what America's future
      Would be under another four years of he he
      🎼Don, go away, please go away
      Although we know several want you to stay
      Don, go away, please go away
      Be a big boy, don't cry
      Freedom will be better this way, yah yah yah🎶
      🎼O,o,o, Don, go away
      Good luck living like you belong
      Boy, every chance to change this place
      Back to liberty reborn
      🎼Before you golf (you golf)
      That's not your job
      I want you to know(know)
      Now your family will slink
      Think-(stink)
      You threw your own name away
      Now forever your future will be known as a loser called He He
      🎼Don, go away, you're no good for us
      Don, go away, you're no good for us
      Don, go away, you're no good for us
      Don, go away, you're no good for us

    • @jdgroom7
      @jdgroom7 2 роки тому +2

      13 servicemen killed. Drone kills 7 children. These things don’t matter to evil brainwashed trump hating maniacs.

    • @peterlindberg1678
      @peterlindberg1678 2 роки тому

      Like Cuemo?

    • @jefschobert9765
      @jefschobert9765 2 роки тому +4

      @@jdgroom7 over 500,000 Americans are dead because of lack of action trump, which makes him at the very least being guilty of murder. Let's take care of the oldest crime lord first.

    • @johnross8614
      @johnross8614 2 роки тому

      Ignore the Russian troll Pickleski Rickvich

  • @WalterPetrovic
    @WalterPetrovic 2 роки тому +64

    There is some GREAT writing on your monologue, tonight! Kudos!

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

  • @skuffel5405
    @skuffel5405 2 роки тому +13

    Thank you SC and writers for not acknowledging the "name" I hope to never hear again. Especially with enlightened, intelligent people! Lets get over those years and move on!!

    • @adonis6193
      @adonis6193 2 роки тому

      Did trump ever bomb and kill children as biden just did? Such a great pres.

    • @xyzsame4081
      @xyzsame4081 2 роки тому

      @@adonis6193 Yep he increased the drone strikes.

    • @adonis6193
      @adonis6193 2 роки тому

      @@xyzsame4081 rhetorical question, he didnt kill children and call them terries

  • @misterdeeds2172
    @misterdeeds2172 2 роки тому +16

    Every now and then I learn of something Woe Fat has or had said and I find myself questioning whether or not it is even possible. That he went with the "I don't want to be your friend anymore' is not one of those times. This fits him perfectly. What a child. A very, very spoiled, immature, fuck that, infantile mental case who is endlessly dangerous. It will forever blow my mind that he was taken seriously by so many, and still is. Fucking frightening.

  • @cleverusername9369
    @cleverusername9369 2 роки тому +74

    The Fat Man/Little Boy joke was *chef's kiss*

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @jeremysmith9694
      @jeremysmith9694 2 роки тому

      That joke sucked

    • @davidribeiro1064
      @davidribeiro1064 2 роки тому

      @@jeremysmith9694 Really? You don't know your history do you? Tell you what, why don't you explain the joke to us, and then please explain why it sucks.

    • @mshake0123
      @mshake0123 2 роки тому +1

      @@davidribeiro1064 Japan nukes. Still sucks like all Colbert/Kimmel/Seth Meyers attempts at comedy. They are no Letterman.

    • @davidribeiro1064
      @davidribeiro1064 2 роки тому +1

      @@mshake0123 So in your case you just lack taste. It happens.

  • @The_Real_Mier
    @The_Real_Mier 2 роки тому +49

    [sizzling sound]
    Wow! Wow! The writers are on FIRE tonight and Stephen delivers perfectly, as only he can do!!!
    LOVE IT!!!

  • @thomasgregg7527
    @thomasgregg7527 2 роки тому +3

    So watching, drinking some coffee and he does Nixon. As a boomer myself, I spit on my screen laughing. Not cool dude not cool. LOL

  • @skyrocketcoast219
    @skyrocketcoast219 2 роки тому +8

    Thank goodness General Miley played a major part in keeping the U. S.A. from fracturing completely via Trump & all his GQP administration& GQP electrd officials!!!!!

    • @NicolaW72
      @NicolaW72 2 роки тому

      Yes.

    • @brucesmith3740
      @brucesmith3740 2 роки тому

      Miley is loyal to Chinese and nwo. Not usa. Miley refused to defend the Whitehouse, gave weapons to taliban, helped Chinese military

  • @vikj1255
    @vikj1255 2 роки тому +34

    That was gold Stephen. "mike Pence found some new friends to hang with" LOL

  • @futurespells
    @futurespells 2 роки тому +173

    You can play with your nukes after you've finished your diet coke...

    • @lizbmusic11
      @lizbmusic11 2 роки тому +4

      @UCitA2tlP_VimUXcAe55_izw go away

    • @rato7718
      @rato7718 2 роки тому

      you mean his Veg

    • @mildredturner3853
      @mildredturner3853 2 роки тому +5

      If Pillsbury Doughboy doesn't believe the High School Science behind how drinking sodas, especially diet sodas, are unhealthy how is he supposed to understand World Recognized Scientific Facts.

    • @schiz0phren1c
      @schiz0phren1c 2 роки тому +3

      BUT I WANNA PLAY WITH NUKES NOWWWWWW! Wahhhhhh!

  • @staffordjones103
    @staffordjones103 2 роки тому +2

    That monolog was a "10"! One of your best

  • @MaddyBlu9724
    @MaddyBlu9724 2 роки тому +7

    I will never get over the arrogance and narcissism of saying that your "research" is equally or more valid than the actual research of people who have devoted their lives to that field of study.

  • @voidstarq
    @voidstarq 2 роки тому +190

    "Fewer rodents than feared in the theater buildings" -- Can't believe you didn't follow that with something about Cats.

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому +1

      :)

    • @mingfanzhang4600
      @mingfanzhang4600 2 роки тому

      #LarryLawton #Popipa #JustMonika

    • @RWAsur
      @RWAsur 2 роки тому

      Nature is healing (or our ability to repress it has gotten stronger)

    • @jb888888888
      @jb888888888 2 роки тому +1

      "Where the hell are the singing cats?"
      -- Paul Newman, August 30 1993.

    • @wientz
      @wientz 2 роки тому

      you need to be a comedy writer!

  • @JoeD0403
    @JoeD0403 2 роки тому +156

    “With fewer rodents than feared” is how I’ll be describing my house if I ever sell.

  • @alexmartinez5859
    @alexmartinez5859 2 роки тому +10

    “Hey Henry, wouldn’t it be groovy if we secretly bombed Cambodia?” Why did I hear Futurama’s Nixon for a second?

  • @samandspot
    @samandspot 2 роки тому +7

    “Mike Pence found some new friends to hang with”. Brilliant

  • @GoolamDawood
    @GoolamDawood 2 роки тому +55

    "I don't want to be your friend no more" President of the United States of America

    • @alex35agm
      @alex35agm 2 роки тому +10

      I thought Trump's only friend was his mirror.

    • @fd4511
      @fd4511 2 роки тому +5

      Ex-president who lost the popular vote. In other words, he lost. Twice.

    • @charlie-obrien
      @charlie-obrien 2 роки тому +2

      ...then he put his marbles and jacks in his red wagon and went home.

    • @ariasiriuscouldbe9457
      @ariasiriuscouldbe9457 2 роки тому +1

      Picture Don Corleone saying it, and I think you'd be closer to the true message.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 2 роки тому +176

    We lost a good'un today... Miss ya already, Norm.

    • @Tonyhouse1168
      @Tonyhouse1168 2 роки тому +4

      ❤️

    • @jeremysmith9694
      @jeremysmith9694 2 роки тому

      Do you really through. Had you even thought about him in the last 20 years?

    • @mariesmith8454
      @mariesmith8454 2 роки тому +9

      @@jeremysmith9694 , I have.

    • @NecroSage
      @NecroSage 2 роки тому +9

      @@jeremysmith9694 norm has an active cult following

    • @mr.mrs.d.7015
      @mr.mrs.d.7015 2 роки тому +1

      Hear hear!

  • @Maliceah
    @Maliceah 2 роки тому +1

    Jon kicking in to "On Broadway". I just love his musicality. And then he does a Master Splinter reference with the TMNT. lol

  • @parnelpospahala6087
    @parnelpospahala6087 2 роки тому +1

    Love this show ❤️ Thank you Stephen , Jon & writers!

  • @maxdoubt5219
    @maxdoubt5219 2 роки тому +1651

    "They gave _that_ guy control of the world's largest nuclear armed forces?! _That guy?!!"_ Future history students.

    • @eljanrimsa5843
      @eljanrimsa5843 2 роки тому +93

      "And he didn't go to jail for it. One of the major parties of the time was uniting behind his authoritarian agenda. That's where it all went downhill." Future history teacher.

    • @99thTuesday
      @99thTuesday 2 роки тому +13

      Russia has a slightly larger total arsenal of Nuclear Weapons, though the US has more in active deployment.

    • @heyheytaytay
      @heyheytaytay 2 роки тому +5

      Russia has more.

    • @brucesmith3740
      @brucesmith3740 2 роки тому +17

      to biden? who ended up handing afganistan to china?

    • @Marijuanifornia
      @Marijuanifornia 2 роки тому +23

      People have never learned from history. Why would that change?

  • @tnvpm
    @tnvpm 2 роки тому +2

    At the beginning when SC says "welcome, ladies and gentlemen"... the closed captions say welcome, Benghazi".

  • @djinspector1
    @djinspector1 2 роки тому +2

    BONE SPURS N HARMONY🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @agrid2608
    @agrid2608 2 роки тому +18

    "Matthew McConaughey playing Mitt Romney in a biopic" Gavin Newsom.
    LOL Accurate.

  • @ForeverMe543
    @ForeverMe543 2 роки тому +62

    LMAO "no rodents right?"
    *in the background* Jon Baptiste: "Michael Angelo, Leonardo, Donatello..."
    Had no idea he was a ninja turtles fan 😂😂😂

  • @catmom1322
    @catmom1322 2 роки тому +7

    I always enjoy Stephen's show and this monologue is spot-on! All he's really doing is educating the citizens & do his best to lay it all out. Sadly, I think he's preaching to the choir.

  • @nnagol
    @nnagol 2 роки тому +1

    Somehow I knew he was going to say his child’s birthday!! LMFAO!! I love it.

  • @DJames-fn3cl
    @DJames-fn3cl 2 роки тому +138

    Absolutely brilliant monologue, Mr. Colbert. A mix of terrifying truth, humor and entertainment.

    • @paigemccormick6519
      @paigemccormick6519 2 роки тому

      D., you are a post-modern fan looking for a thrill at the expense of incremental, constitutional progress?

    • @RC-hd9uq
      @RC-hd9uq 2 роки тому +1

      How do you like your truth? Our children's future isnt a joke....
      Scratch your head, the truth doesnt come from a high paid clown

    • @mariesmith8454
      @mariesmith8454 2 роки тому +2

      @@paigemccormick6519 , Satirical humor about current events has always been a mainstay for Americans to help get through tough times. If you can't understand that, just go away.

    • @mariesmith8454
      @mariesmith8454 2 роки тому +1

      @@RC-hd9uq , Satirical humor about current events has always been a mainstay for Americans to help get through tough times. If you can't understand that, just go away.

    • @paigemccormick6519
      @paigemccormick6519 2 роки тому

      @@mariesmith8454 Thanks, Marie!

  • @angrybeluga1697
    @angrybeluga1697 2 роки тому +23

    That was the funniest monologue I've heard Colbert do in awhile. My appreciation the writers, and the absolute wackos in the news, who supplied the material: they couldn't have done it without you!

  • @wilsonsmom411
    @wilsonsmom411 2 роки тому +4

    All jokes aside this nukes thing is pretty f-ing terrifying.

    • @jamesaugustine6787
      @jamesaugustine6787 2 роки тому

      Yea and majority of democrats think it's a good thing, I swear these people have no moral compass or values. If milley did this shit under Biden or Obama these same people would be shitting bricks. Democrats voters generally are low IQ and can't comprehend the precedent this sets with future presidents and future generals. The lefts gone back to simping for the military industry complex they love talking about how horrible it is and how it controls our government when a republican is in office, but not a peep when a democrats in office lmao. Remember the "occupy wall street" protests. That shit went away real quick when they got a black guy in office who's democrat in 2008.

  • @couragekarnga8735
    @couragekarnga8735 2 роки тому +57

    I lost it at "Lardfather." Honestly though, I'm surprised he didn't try to nuke the states that didn't vote for him.

    • @lillymp2570
      @lillymp2570 2 роки тому +1

      I thought the same, long time before the election. That's one of the main reasons I left the USA, I truly believed he will drop the A-bomb, blame it on terrorists, and remain in power forever. We shouldn't relax, the right-wingers got smarter at stealing the election and taking over the country.

    • @fadedrose9
      @fadedrose9 2 роки тому +1

      Courage Karnga He would have, if there was a way to do it.

  • @Zaddy-Lu
    @Zaddy-Lu 2 роки тому +180

    I still miss "a late show" and Evie being there with him 😔

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 2 роки тому +10

      Me too. Evie's the best. v

    • @johnhering7521
      @johnhering7521 2 роки тому +10

      Yea Evie!🤗

    • @billbillson5082
      @billbillson5082 2 роки тому

      Do these political diatribes actually register as comedy to you?
      You should see an actual comedian sometime. You’re standards for comedy are really low.

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 2 роки тому +18

      @@billbillson5082 , The pandemic has affected you mental health. Hope your mood lifts. v

    • @billbillson5082
      @billbillson5082 2 роки тому

      @@virginiatyree6705 - i mean someone who enjoys colbert is basically a shoo in for a mental health facility

  • @kristinLB
    @kristinLB 2 роки тому +48

    We voted to keep Gavin! And he gave a great speech. So sick of those recall freaks on every corner. Glad that’s over.

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @RabblesTheBinx
      @RabblesTheBinx 2 роки тому +4

      It's not over. Wait for another 14 months of the whiny losers claiming fraud because they suck.

    • @kristinLB
      @kristinLB 2 роки тому +3

      @@RabblesTheBinx ya it’s getting old. But they are crying wolf and people will stop listening.

    • @lizbmusic11
      @lizbmusic11 2 роки тому +7

      Hey that's great news. Been kinda following here in NZ and just laughed to hear the right were calling the result fraudulent before voting even started! What a bunch of losers. I call them right whingers.

    • @kristinLB
      @kristinLB 2 роки тому +5

      @@lizbmusic11 Ya they tried to pull that Trump crap in California and we ain’t having it!

  • @DrownedInExile
    @DrownedInExile 2 роки тому +4

    "Mike Pence found some new friends to *hang* with"
    Oww my sides!

  • @patstonecipher5765
    @patstonecipher5765 2 роки тому +1

    Steve's the man reports news and makes it funny 😄 Love you Steve

  • @taamoul
    @taamoul 2 роки тому +488

    Love you Stephen Colbert, you make my day💜

    • @zacharyoliver5332
      @zacharyoliver5332 2 роки тому +13

      You had a pretty shitty day then if THIS topped it.

    • @neworld2114
      @neworld2114 2 роки тому +12

      @@zacharyoliver5332 good luck your loser street art company-
      Love to see your work

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @vtheg6668
      @vtheg6668 2 роки тому +7

      He’s a ray of sunshine ☀️🤗

    • @dannymartinez9371
      @dannymartinez9371 2 роки тому +3

      This guy is horribly stupid. And he's rich! Why is persecuting Trump still so important?

  • @Kurzula5150
    @Kurzula5150 2 роки тому +75

    I got through the last four years by convincing myself that they gave Trump a silver-painted Speak & Spell and told him it was the nuclear trigger.

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому +5

      Yeah, but he's still trying to figure out how Stephen Hawking fit in the box...

    • @SuperLeica1
      @SuperLeica1 2 роки тому +1

      Well so they did, but Milley entered later. They might have forgotten to tell him.

    • @spaceman9599
      @spaceman9599 2 роки тому

      @mdfouru I learned something today, thanks! If they really did that, that would really 'take the biscuit'

    • @xyzsame4081
      @xyzsame4081 2 роки тому

      @BlowoutJoe's Epic Discoveries The partners of the U.S. - incl. China - were worried about the U.S. and with good reason. I think China must have thought the storm on the Capital hillarious AND worrying (So they can't keep the Pentagon safe in 2001, and cannot defend a building housing part of the government in 2022 ??) -
      if China even considers if the U.S. _might_ attack or nuke them because a president can't cope with the fact he lost the election and power (and faces lawsuits) - that is no joke. - Unlike the U.S. the Chinese have RATIONAL leadership. You may not like them, but they are strategic, think long term, and you do not want China or Russia even think about the idea that they would NEED to be first in order to defend themselves (the U.S. has the larger arsenal). And NATO is camping out at the backyard and frontdoor of Russia. It is like the Warsaw pact would still exist and have bases in Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba and Canada.
      After his death the diary of Robert Kennedy was published, he was the confidante of his brother during the Cuban Missile Crisis (HE met the Soviet ambassador to the United States and offerd the top secret deal, looks like JFK did not completely trust the Secretary of State or other more logical choices. Bobby was the Attorney General, so he was not the obvious choice as envoy. ).
      They had gotten into the crisis because a chest thumping exercise got out of hand and neither Kennedy nor Khrushchev wanted nuclear war. But Robert revealed that some generals advised JFK to launch first, (we have the better chances - which was true the U.S. had a technology advantage). - Luckily JFK did not listen.
      As for a nuclear power THINKING and fearing the U.S.might attack them (in the 1960s the conflict was open) - We had such a situation in the 1980s (1983 / 1984) when the hostile Reagan rhetoric on top of icy relations and helping Saudi extremists killing Soviet soldiers in Afghanistan spooked the Soviets. They instructed their agents to find out IF the U.S. / NATO _might_ launch a first nuclear strike.
      No one wants to be negligent in such matters - the agents did find indicators. (The U.S. had not intentions, but the agents erred on the side of paranoia and misinterpreted signs. U.S. embassies in the Middle East had been attacked so security was ramped up internationally. That was taken as meaning something else by the Soviets. Things like that. Agents started observing NATO ministries U.S. government buildings, they thought if they were working overtime (much more than usual) it would be another sign that an attack was planned and imminent..
      The British had a back channel to Moscow and Thatcher got the word that the Soviets assumed the U.S. wanted to attack them with a nuclear strike. So Thatcher called her buddy Reagan and they deescalated.

    • @xyzsame4081
      @xyzsame4081 2 роки тому

      @BlowoutJoe's Epic Discoveries That's what Milley did - descalate the situation and assure allies, partners and adversaries that nohting crazy would happen in the last days of the Trump presidency. Trump cannot do anything if the army does not go along. and IF he went crazy the Chinese knew it would not be carried out immediately and Milley would leak it to the U.s. public. Who does not want war with China let alone a nuclear war.

  • @LindaIngle
    @LindaIngle 2 роки тому +1

    ON FIRE- you had it ALL tonight Stephen 🤩🔥

  • @coltoncrain4261
    @coltoncrain4261 2 роки тому +14

    "Fewer rodents than feared" is a nice way of admitting there were rodents.

    • @viddork
      @viddork 2 роки тому

      Not really. "None" would almost certainly be fewer than feared.

  • @glennwelsh9784
    @glennwelsh9784 2 роки тому +514

    "Yeah, but wouldn't it be cool?"
    "I don't wanna be your friend anymore if you don't do it."
    Trump trying to convince Pence to single-handedly overthrow the American government sounds like a middle schooler trying to pressure his buddy into taking a smoke from his big brother's weed.

    • @11cabadger
      @11cabadger 2 роки тому +16

      It sounds like a bad joke, but after a Covid Decade of that guy, it's not funny cuz it's true. (Big Man Little Boy, that joke made me laugh, as did all tonight's "AKA names". Clever viewers.)

    • @ruthdepew7212
      @ruthdepew7212 2 роки тому +23

      The first line could be a middle schooler.
      The second line is more pre schooler.

    • @11cabadger
      @11cabadger 2 роки тому +5

      @@ruthdepew7212 maybe you know, i was watching a show about narcissistic, psychotic & sociopathic behavior and the different subtypes. I swear it applied to the "lardfather" but i forgot which subgroup was being described.
      The example of hissy fits was X subtype was like a two-year-old's tantrum and Y type was like a three-year-old's tantrum. Do you know what subtype is being referred to? (I don't know why I am assuming you are a mental health professional.)

    • @zesty9815
      @zesty9815 2 роки тому +12

      Dear UA-cam Comments Algorithm: I think it's about time you deleted Santuy Chan, don't you?

    • @PHIre156
      @PHIre156 2 роки тому

      Pathetic

  • @krokodyl1927
    @krokodyl1927 2 роки тому +6

    Without a doubt, this was one of the very best monologues! 👌😁
    Super deluxe!

  • @KennethDPedersen
    @KennethDPedersen 2 роки тому +5

    I think Steven missed a moment when he didn't make a Cats reference with the broadway reopening rats bit..

  • @lucasharvey8990
    @lucasharvey8990 2 роки тому

    Thanks for the video, Colbert.

  • @BlankBrain
    @BlankBrain 2 роки тому +33

    I think this was one of the best monologues that I've ever watched.

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @mariesmith8454
      @mariesmith8454 2 роки тому

      BlankBrain, Agreed.

    • @scottgriffiths2753
      @scottgriffiths2753 2 роки тому

      It's the same monologue he's been doing for the last 5 years lol.

    • @mariesmith8454
      @mariesmith8454 2 роки тому

      @@scottgriffiths2753, No it isn't. Events he talks about are recent, hadn't happened yet 5 years ago. You must be stuck in a time warp.

    • @scottgriffiths2753
      @scottgriffiths2753 2 роки тому

      @@mariesmith8454 the event are new, the jokes aren't. I remember Colbert saying Trump wanted to nuke other countries before he even took office. He uses the same jokes but just about different topics. No wonder his ratings are in the toilet and have been overtaken by Gutfeld lol.

  • @tomitstube
    @tomitstube 2 роки тому +22

    "see that's why i made sure to get my shot in the shoulder." lmao.

    • @krejados1
      @krejados1 2 роки тому +2

      Indeed, a most under-appreciated gag.

  • @gus.smedstad
    @gus.smedstad 2 роки тому +3

    I've always thought the Tangerine Terror spoke like he was roughly 10. "do this, or I won't be your friend anymore" is right in line with that.

  • @Bencarson_1
    @Bencarson_1 2 роки тому

    Colbert is simply the best ….how does he come up with these jokes on point ?😂😂

  • @northernpunx1978
    @northernpunx1978 2 роки тому +74

    RIP Norm Macdonald. Canadian legend and gone tooo soon. Were need a replacement for that genius...Its not gonna happen is it??

    • @davidanderson_surrey_bc
      @davidanderson_surrey_bc 2 роки тому +5

      @@santuychan4607 Get off the internet, troll.

    • @gregbors8364
      @gregbors8364 2 роки тому +3

      @@davidanderson_surrey_bc Report that cam girl. “Unwanted commercial content or spam”

    • @mariesmith8454
      @mariesmith8454 2 роки тому +2

      @@santuychan4607 , Go away.

    • @SuperHassan2001
      @SuperHassan2001 2 роки тому

      i came to this video to hear about norm. is norm mentioned in this video?

    • @zoobrizz
      @zoobrizz 2 роки тому

      Dementia Joe 🤡is the funniest person on TV

  • @Sonal.09
    @Sonal.09 2 роки тому +35

    Note to self:
    Never watch Stephen Colbert post dental surgery.
    All the laughing will either cause pain or might tear your stitches apart 😂

    • @charlespeakjr2168
      @charlespeakjr2168 2 роки тому +1

      Thank God Colbert wasn't on when I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth surgically removed. I'd laugh myself into a coma.🤣🤣

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 2 роки тому +3

      Take it easy & rinse your mouth with a salt H2O mix-please. It'll keep things clean. v

    • @Sonal.09
      @Sonal.09 2 роки тому

      @@virginiatyree6705 Thanks.
      It's around 11 am here and I have done it twice since I woke up, will continue till the stitches are removed.

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 2 роки тому +3

      @@Sonal.09 , Sure, anytime. Without specifically knowing what surgical intervention was done, you may want to try a 50/50 solution of H20 & hydrogen peroxide; 2 ounces H2O, 2 ounces hydrogen peroxide or 100 ml H20, 100 ml hydrogen peroxide. The hydrogen peroxide will kill the staph/strep bacteria in the mouth. The mixture should be weak enough that it won't harm the healing tissue & it'll kill harmful bacteria. White-foamy liquid will occur. It's harmless & occurs due to the bonding properties of hydrogen peroxide interacting with the bacteria's cell wall. It literally explodes/bubbles the bacteria. Your fun-fact for the day! v

  • @rugby_jtizzle
    @rugby_jtizzle 2 роки тому

    Stephen, you and your writers make me feel so much better about all the stupid shit that’s going on atm. Thanks for keeping this light!

  • @misterhorse8327
    @misterhorse8327 2 роки тому +5

    General Milley, a real American patriot!

    • @NicolaW72
      @NicolaW72 2 роки тому

      Yes, he had proofed it.

  • @Pez_Destroyer
    @Pez_Destroyer 2 роки тому +196

    Stephen: "We don't have any rodents here" *looks towards John for confirmation when he says it*
    John: *starts listing turtles when Master Splinter is the only rodent*

  • @isadore7221
    @isadore7221 2 роки тому +26

    2021 feels equally terrifying but with an extra drizzle of crazy.

  • @kamalharris4654
    @kamalharris4654 2 роки тому

    Extremely amazing exactly right now of you.

  • @bmell1252
    @bmell1252 2 роки тому

    The Lard Father! 😂😂😂 oh, Stephen! You crack me up!

  • @wandarebeca1
    @wandarebeca1 2 роки тому +4

    Tonight, you made me laugh so much! Spectacular! The Supreme Court Judge and your namesake, the Honorable Stephen Breyer was one of the best guests I've seen. So wise and articulate. I'd like to save that interview of His Honor speaking wisdom to our youth. It made me feel a pride for our Country that has been tested so much these past years. We must follow his example and guide our youth, so they can preserve and improve our democracy. Thank you, Stephen Colbert; for always having our backs by providing restorative hope along with your hilarious, comedic entertainment. Blessings to you and Evie.

  • @LisaLisa001
    @LisaLisa001 2 роки тому +18

    When Jon cracks up, my heart grows two sizes

  • @chrishorne4492
    @chrishorne4492 2 роки тому +1

    "That's why I decided to get my shot in the shoulder." 😂

  • @orchidlilly7518
    @orchidlilly7518 2 роки тому

    Thanks for the laughs Stephen !

  • @cherlyn1221
    @cherlyn1221 2 роки тому +111

    Ever since Colbert stopped saying it's name and when it's on screen T****. I do that too. I think it would lose it's grip, it's relevancy and what's left of, if any, of it's mind, if we all just stopped talking about it, saying it's name and so-forth. You know. And giving it attention just fuels the fire. Ignore the turd and flush. I like that idea.

    • @bronztrooper9440
      @bronztrooper9440 2 роки тому +8

      I just refer to him as Drumpf. Have done that since 2016 and I don't intend to stop

    • @MyMarsham
      @MyMarsham 2 роки тому +9

      Make sure you flush ten or twelve times. It’s a big ‘un.

    • @Marijuanifornia
      @Marijuanifornia 2 роки тому +14

      Or how about we sack up like real Americans and put that Fascist traitor in a deep dark hole?
      It takes a cop only 9 minutes to choke someone to death in the street on camera over $20, but if you kill 400k+ Americans through lies and ineptitude and dereliction of duty and sedition and treason then you get to go golfing at your private resort.
      How can any of you say that life is worth living in a world that is so terrible?

    • @santuychan4607
      @santuychan4607 2 роки тому

      *AISURU.TOKYO/asuna?[Making-Love]* 💞
      (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over
      UA-cam: This is fine
      Someone: Says "heck"
      UA-cam: Be gone
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

    • @parrisprice5892
      @parrisprice5892 2 роки тому +1

      I just call him dump, for the past 4 years i have

  • @thehifiwifiguy
    @thehifiwifiguy 2 роки тому +344

    Am I the only one who thought "Bone, Spurs, and Harmony" should've gotten a way bigger laugh?

    • @cisco8650
      @cisco8650 2 роки тому +20

      Was it a reference to bone thugs and harmony? If so, well, damn kids these days jk

    • @dr.braxygilkeycruises1460
      @dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 2 роки тому +31

      Trust me, every Black person over the age of 35 fell out laughing over that name! 🤣😂🤣 That audience didn't understand the reference. It was excellent.

    • @oaklandmade007
      @oaklandmade007 2 роки тому +13

      I hollered 😂😂😂

    • @floyds07
      @floyds07 2 роки тому +4

      @@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 came here to say this!!!!

    • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
      @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 2 роки тому +6

      Trump as a retired POTUS: It's the first of the moooooooonth....
      Dude needs every nickle to keep pretending he's rich & stop his Russian loanshark from snuffing him

  • @Lynthari
    @Lynthari 2 роки тому +3

    Only way to watch the news is imagining Steven's reaction.

  • @ricom8265
    @ricom8265 2 роки тому +3

    “A fat man who acts like a little boy” 😆 classic👌

  • @ChicagoBornPilsenBred21
    @ChicagoBornPilsenBred21 2 роки тому +25

    This General is a Hero. Thank God he hid the codes💯
    ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶

    • @NicolaW72
      @NicolaW72 2 роки тому +2

      Yes.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 роки тому

      He's a traitor, and you're an idiot. 45 is a monster, but a general usurping civilian control of the military is the death-knell of democracy. Go read any history until you grasp that, and wonder why you didn't take your responsibility as a democratic citizen more seriously sooner.

    • @hyliastone286
      @hyliastone286 2 роки тому +2

      @@michaelccozens It can never happen again, but neither can a President like Trump. Sometimes lines must be crossed for the greater good - the important thing is knowing when to cross them and, even more importantly, to never cross them again.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 роки тому

      @@hyliastone286 Again, what stopped Milley from simply resigning publicly and setting-off a PR shitstorm? If anything, he *protected* 45, and violated possibly the most fundamental democratic principle in the process.
      There is zero fucking good news here. Not one bit. Worry that you can't see something so obvious.
      And if you don't want another 45, get off your privileged ass and do something about it. Unlike most of the people under the yoke of American hegemony, you have a say in it. Why aren't you using that say better?

    • @hyliastone286
      @hyliastone286 2 роки тому +1

      @@michaelccozens I DO get off my privileged ass and fight to change things? Anyway, I'm not saying Millie isn't a scumbag - he probably is - but I can't say I'm not glad Trump couldn't set off nuclear war out of sheer spite in his last few months. Anyway, the more I learn about Millie, the more I'm like "yeah, fuck that guy."