@@Blunderful19 There are enough to beat police and take over Congress for hours and smear their shit on the walls. Maybe you people don't understand what happened on January 6, or maybe you don't want to understand. Or maybe you just don't care.
That Boris Johnson part was so funny. It's funny to see someone from another country see what we see in the UK everyday. I'm so used to Boris and his buffoonery that I hardly notice it anymore 😂
in reciprocation, this is why I, in the US, enjoy watching the BBC, especially if I want to get a more unbiased take on the news of the day. what makes it even better is that I have actually been to the UK, albeit that that happened back in 1972.
I don't like Boris. At all. But to see him as a British Trump, or dismiss him as a buffoon is just wrong. The man is an extremely shrewd political operator, pretty much trained from birth. It's easy to laugh at him, but the guy has risen to P.M. despite his apparent (but not actual) clownishness. He's a disturbing throwback to the kind of entitled aristo politicians that used to be all we had in Britain. He's no Trump; he's educated, well read and intelligent. He's also a reactionary nightmare. Underestimate him at your peril.
@@robashton8606 Boris is “educated, well read, and intelligent”. Unfortunately we can’t use those descriptors for Insurrection Donnie Boy. He was hands down, our worst president ever.
I shudder to recall that Michael freaking Flynn was once our National Security Advisor!! Just one more example of the STUNNING incompetence of the Trump Administration. I'm actually amazed we survived those four years!!
I wouldn't really say US survived. Sure the country didn't end per se, but it'd be a hard denial to not think literally everything went to the shitters during those four years Not sure if the US can ever go back to pre-2016
As the mother of a 4 year old and babysitter of 2 other children under 5, "adorable cesspools" is hilariously spot-on! And that baguette submarine 😂😂😂😂
High school teacher here: teenagers are plague rats, too. The one small silver lining out of this pandemic is that none of us has had The Dreaded Teacher Cold for the past 18 months. That's the one where the kids come back to school after a break, and all the viruses they've picked up during the break get together, have a virus dance party, and create a supervirus from the depths of hell, which naturally gets passed on to any and all nearby adults.
Our home was just hit with a nasty virus. 5 kids were back at school and in week 3 they started getting sick one by one. The first cold we have had since this all began. Man, it's miserable.
I remember one year, one of my Sophomore boys leaned back, and ACHOOOed straight up into the air - not even covering his mouth. I actually could see his aerosol spittle settle on everyone and everything around him. I thought to myself, "That section's going to absent tomorrow." I always kept bottles of antiseptic spray in my cabinets (others did too, and sometimes we had to share because somebody might have had a lot of sneezers that day) and disinfected all those desks, and the floor between classes, which compelled my next class to ask "Why weren't you waiting for us at the class door like always?" ('Twas my habit of standing there and saying "Hi" to each one of them) True to form, that entire section was out with His Infectiousness' cold the next day. When I asked him later why he didn't cover his mouth when sneezing, since he could spread anything to others around him, his answer now reminds me of these anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers where ER care is concerned, "So what, isn't it YOUR job to make sure none of us miss any class material?" (Since teachers are required to provide make-up material for any student who is sick) This was a class in Texas some 20 years ago. I'm going to guess, Mr. Disease-spreader probably became a Republican given that attitude.
@@joendrsn And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning, because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it’d be interesting to check that, so that you’re going to have to use medical doctors with, but it sounds interesting to me. So, we’ll see, but the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute. That’s pretty powerful." So he just suggested injecting disinfectant
@@joendrsn you’re right. He recommended you inject bleach into the lung, not a typical IV injection, and then “wash out” the inside of your fucking lungs with bleach.
@@joendrsn I know, right! I keep hearing this, but people can't seem to get the facts straight! The president never said that! It was the twice impeached, disgraced ex-president, who lost the popular vote in both elections he was in, and lost the electoral college to a human potato, that said that.
@@jamesl5302 you left out the descriptors "one-term" "self-aggrandizing" and "mendacious" but other than that, spot on. Trumpers seem think 8 million turned out to vote FOR Joe, when the truth is that 8 million turned out to vote AGAINST the Donald.
Shout out to the late show staff member who looked absolutely insane at the grocery store buying every single salad dressing and maybe some coffee for the break room.
The reason US did not set up a deal with UK and France is because then it would be called FUKUS……come on, with a name like that, who would be scared of them???
@@queerbotanicalqueen I dug the Onion up recently, and honestly, most of the content was so believable it was a jarring otherworldly experience when it wasn't. lol
I absolutely _vina-regret_ not watching The Late Show, very often, of recent... But after this episode, I'm so back! Thanks Stephen! You and your team rock... 😎👍🏼
Every time someone says "UFOs must be alien spaceships because Navy Pilots have seen them and they're experts and stuff" I just say "Michael Flynn made it to the rank of General in the US Army" and win the argument.
Doubting the observational skills of pilots, military or otherwise isn't a strictly intellectual exercise. You either get on planes, or you don't. If you look at the reports you'll see that no conclusions by pilots are made, they describe characteristics and capacities, so you are also putting words into their mouths.
@@Silverfirefly1 Actually, you are putting words into my mouth. I never said that the pilots were claiming UFOs are aliens (though some absolutely do make that claim) I said people claim that they must be alien spaceships because that navymy pilots have seen them. I am simply pointing out that Navy pilots who are supposedly expert Witnesses aren't necessarily that as people like Flynn made it to the rank of general.
@@bipolarminddroppings Ben Carson is a brainsurgeon apparently, the mind boggles. It would appear that very cynical, paranoid and selfish individuals can come from any walk of life. Flynn might be a mess but as a pilot be appeared to survive long enough to become a very annoying old man so he was probably good at it.
Between Johnson and Trump, I’m beginning to think that ridiculous blond head mops should signal a red flag situation when deciding who our respective nations should choose to have in charge.
Boris Johnson is way smarter than Trump, and he has a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at himself, which puts him way higher on the qualification scale to lead a country.
@@jefolson6989 you make some salient points but take it from a Brit, I’d much rather have a competent PM than a buffoon who plays the ‘one of the lads’ card to win the hearts and minds of those who can’t see the populism through the endearment. Even that straw on his head has been carefully orchestrated by his optics team.
@@TheKermit2110 WoW Kermit The Frog in real flesh !! You must be really mad Boris The Clown made you the theme of his yet another kindergarten level speech, ... but it can’t be helped cause you’re Kermit, the kindergarten favorite !!
Two items: (1) children are wonderful germ buckets, and (2) Hidden Valley Ranch dressing began life in the garage of the inventor, who lived in a housing development called Hidden Valley, near the 101 freeway south, in Santa Barbara. He concocted a powder combination that, in combination with sour cream, created the salad dressing. I always laugh when I see commercials for the salad dressing set in an idyllic farm. Green Acres?
@@QuarterLifeCrises There's a number of apocryphal reasons usually dealing with frog legs, and so 'frog' is often used as an epithet for the French, like limey is used for the English
I saw that at 3:35am, yeah, that late at night or that early morning, all up to you... anyway... I had to hold it, to not wake up anybody in my building. You know what happens when you try to hold a loud cracking laugh for too long, right? I was dying!!!
His monologue was 🔥🔥🔥!!! I laughed so hard at the salad dressing bit I had to watch it a second time with my husband 😆 We've decided that from now on we will randomly text, say or yell to each other "Blue Cheese" just to keep things entertaining 🤣🥗
_"This precious blue sphere with its eggshell crust and wisp of an atmosphere - is not some indestructible toy, some bouncy plastic romper room against which we can hurl ourselves to our heart's content."_ A "bouncy plastic romper room"? A padded cell, you mean?
@@markiliff really? Have you seen the leader of opposition recently and the conservatives are on a level with republicans mainly due IMO to the same puppet masters with very deep wallets!!
Isnt crazy that like, a lot of politicians and government officials aren’t really smart scholars with public interests in mind, just rich business owners who have been appointed to do the biddings of large corporations?
I've always called mine "tiny vectors for disease" when referring to their early years. Surprisingly, their self-esteem is quite good. edit: It's probably because I always used the word "loveable" at the start :-D
@@liviia305 How long have you been thinking that? No one will ever be held accountable. Bush still isn't in jail for sending hundreds of thousands of Americans into an illegal war. Trump is never going to jail. There is no noose and it will never tighten. I used to think and wish all those fucks would be arrested too. But there's a point when you have to just realize that you have faith in a corrupt system. America favors the corrupt, not the people.
He ended on my favorite dressing, Ken's Blue Cheese!!! That was the funniest freaking bit. Another reason for another award. This is the best writing team on tv.
He didnt even make fun of the clown, aka President of Brasil who had to eat pizza in a sidewalk because he was not vaccinated and thus not allowed inside.
The British (I am one) are embaressed that Johnson is our Prime Minister and the Americans are horrified that Flynn was once their National Security Advisor. At least it all gives us the superb Stephen Colbert's monologues, so fair in the end.
Thanks. Refreshing to hear how folks in other countries see it. Insurrection Donnie is our embarrassment. The insecure baby couldn’t accept his loss and cries “stolen election, stolen election, wah, Wah”. His lies (because of his gullible followers) are destroying our democracy. Sad.
@@davidmatthews3131 There is a BBC accent. That's also the "posh" accent, the ones presenters on the BBC usually have. It's also the "public school" accent, meaning those private schools like Eton, Rugby, etc. And there are those from Ireland, Scotland, Wales and England that have it, and not their regional accent. It's also called "received pronunciation."
"more intelligent"? If you just said "intelligent" I'd agree, but maybe try saying what he said in a trump accent instead of a British one & see how it sounds then! I think the British accent did actually make it sound MORE intelligent, but there's a limit to how intelligent an accent can make someone sound with content like that!
@@davidmatthews3131 it was a joke based on stereotypes Americans have of “the British “. 😐 Though thanks for that mansplaining lesson is crap I already knew. Appreciate it. 🙄
@@josephtreacy667 very true but somehow even boris can acknowledge climate change. the US is truly fucked when the UK's Tory party is more leftist than our democratic president
Starts out out his speech at the UN with "When Kermit the Frog..." and I immediately went "oh no...this is why climate change is irreversible, because people like this are our 'champions' "
Its worse than you think. Its not merely dumbed down, its also totally insincere. Boris is happy to speak out on any topic with the firm intention to not honour anything he says.
Miller/Coors and AB Bev would literally buy a state to make sure republi-blahs kept buying their products. Come to our NEW Tennessee for vaccine-free beer!!
Public schools should require a covid-19 vaccination for students, just like they require vaccinations for measles, chicken-pox, mumps, rubella, tuberculosis, polio, tetanus, diphtheria, etc.
@@joec1212 • COVID-19 may not be respiratory; check out the studies on whether it's vascular, etc. Also, if the COVID-19 vaccines by Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson and Johnson are unsuccessful, how do you explain the current hospitalizations and cases in the USA are over 99% among the unvaccinated? That data certainly causes me to believe these vaccines are effective against a respiratory disease or, alternatively, that researchers should continue to investigate whether its cause is vascular or something else.
After four years of Trump, I gotta say, it's such a nice feeling having our leader not be the most ridiculous one at an international event! Thanks for that Britain!
Now we have no clue what is going on because because our President aka The Big Guy won’t talk to the press. We have to watch news from other countries just to kinda get an idea of what’s going on.
@@katiestans2824 Nice try troll, but Biden also addressed the UN. Just because he doesn't do a weekly scream something stupid with a chopper in the background doesn't mean he doesn't talk to the press.
@@winterlongmire501 i think there are times were a photo finish is needed to find the biggest clown !! But yes i agree with what happened on jan 6th the orange loser was a winning loser that day !!!
When you tell lazy mediocre posh kid, he can do anything and send him to school that tell him that too. Failed up hill sacked for lying 2x, waves his hands and makes wild promises, with hair he make scruffy to make himself into a bafoon so you don't blame him. He's the worst middle manager ever.
You have to keep in mind that Boris Johnson is putting on an act. He isn't a bumbling idiot, it's the persona he takes on for the cameras. Keep a watchful eye on what he's up to.
Boris Johnson says dumb crap so that everyone starts talking about the dumb crap instead of the fact that he doesn't know what he's doing. And it works literally every time :
I don't miss them. Where I live they're required to be provided & maintained, but the company doing so found it was costing more to collect the money than they were making, so now they're all just "phones" instead of "payphones" or "prankphones" if you're a teen :)) I'm imagining a whole generation of today's teens growing up never understanding that once upon a time people paid to use prankphones
C'mon, now . . . the French gave us the first realistic submarine ever in fiction, the Nautilus, in Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" -- so, it's understandable that they would feel a bit proprietary about this kerfuffle.
@@patricktilton5377 not forgetting the story of Alexander the Great descending under water in a glass diving bell. Verne's was a great story though. Here's hoping H G Wells doesn't hit the news.
Its not so much, that the French are proprietary, its A. that they have a signed legal contract with the Aussies (something Americans should understand), which is also why legal action has already been announced, and B. the utter insult of so-called allies doing this behind their back. Sure, Stephen can make fun of it, and there is much to laugh at, but the basic is very very serious, and just coz the French have returned their Ambassador to DC, it doesnt mean, theyve forgotten. This has caused a serious breach of trust and will have repercussions for a long time to come. Some of the Brexiters are actually hailing this as "revenge" against the French for a military defeat in 1781 or something, but as some French have already warned, the Brits arent the only 1s with a long memory. And just coz the French are ur oldest ally in the US, it doesnt mean, they will just forgive and forget, on the contrary, exactly coz they are ur oldest ally, the betrayal is that much bigger and harder felt. On the light side: Im pleasantly surprised, that some Americans are actually acquinted with Jules Verne and the fact, that he was French, and knows Leonardo da Vinci at all and even beyond the Mona Lisa.
Vinaregret* just sayin I think u got autocorrected. Or it was purposeful idk. For a second I read what you said and just thought u heard him wrong. Who knows. :p
Absolutely unbelievable. The speech writer must work for the opposition. Surprised he didn’t quote Ms M Poppins, “A spoonful of medicine makes the bullshit go down.” 🇬🇧
I used to dip crusty bread into salad dressings and eat it all day. And I always order extra dressing on my salads too. I love salad dressing too much.
@@cynthiawilson4500 lol. Yes I am fully vaccinated. But I also have high triglycerides as a result of my love for salad dressing. If I could fill a hot tub with zesty Italian and dive in, I would. Hehe. Hugs!
The world has been laughing at Boris for about the same amount of time before that it was that amazing Theresa May and your bang up Brexit job congrats btw y'all nailed it.
@@joshuacraig9061 ok have it your way mate, but when you will be allowed to travel abroad, to EU, Asia, or even just go and get obnoxiously drunk in one of the carribean islands (or colonies as we used to call them), you will know why everyone has a smug smile on their face, talking to you.... You will know. BTW not a British subject, proud European citizen more like (still waiting for that train wreck we where supposed to become back in 2000, and US badmouthed us all over the world for....)
As a Brit, I hereby disavow any and all connection to that idiotic sentient mop at the UN. 🤦🏻♂️
We dispute the sentience claim.
The electrocuted bird does look ridiculous
Can you do that?
Can I disavow my leader to?
He can be pretty embarrassing too.
@@pedroarjona6996 If we all disavow our leaders together, will they be forced to move to Mars and leave the world a better place?
@@alalalala57 One could dream
It’s frightening that they are a lot of people like Michael Flynn in this country.
I don't think there are as many traitors as you would believe...
@@Blunderful19
No, only all republicans, but that's only half the American population so not so many.
No more than 30-40% of voters think like Flynn. Most aren't vaccinated, so that number will be declining.
@@Blunderful19 There are enough to beat police and take over Congress for hours and smear their shit on the walls.
Maybe you people don't understand what happened on January 6, or maybe you don't want to understand. Or maybe you just don't care.
@@Blunderful19 a handful would be far to many.
But I'd include anyone in Congress who voted to not investigate 1/6.
God that dressing bit 🤣 is so hilarious 😂. Thanks for that one writers and Stephen 🙏
This monologue was pure GOLD. Especially the salad dressing bit. LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!
Conan must be a ghost writer
blue cheese
Totally, this one was extra special !
@@laurenpinschannels Damn! You beat me to it!
(Need a shaking fist emoji)
@@seanryan3020 No she didn't, she spelled bleu wrong. That's French by the way... The language not the dressing.
That Boris Johnson part was so funny. It's funny to see someone from another country see what we see in the UK everyday. I'm so used to Boris and his buffoonery that I hardly notice it anymore 😂
in reciprocation, this is why I, in the US, enjoy watching the BBC, especially if I want to get a more unbiased take on the news of the day. what makes it even better is that I have actually been to the UK, albeit that that happened back in 1972.
don't you ever? get the feeling that both Boris and trump were separated at birth!
@@chuyocaca4153 that was the EXACT comparison that was made when Boris took office.
I don't like Boris. At all. But to see him as a British Trump, or dismiss him as a buffoon is just wrong. The man is an extremely shrewd political operator, pretty much trained from birth. It's easy to laugh at him, but the guy has risen to P.M. despite his apparent (but not actual) clownishness. He's a disturbing throwback to the kind of entitled aristo politicians that used to be all we had in Britain. He's no Trump; he's educated, well read and intelligent. He's also a reactionary nightmare. Underestimate him at your peril.
@@robashton8606
Boris is “educated, well read, and intelligent”. Unfortunately we can’t use those descriptors for Insurrection Donnie Boy. He was hands down, our worst president ever.
I shudder to recall that Michael freaking Flynn was once our National Security Advisor!! Just one more example of the STUNNING incompetence of the Trump Administration. I'm actually amazed we survived those four years!!
"The Best and the Brightest". By TFG standards.
Many hundreds of thousands of Americans didn't survive.
Well, for like 3 weeks. Scarier still is he served as the Director of the DIA under President Obama for 2 yrs before he was fired.
He wasn't always incompetent though. He was once a well respected general. Now he's compromised and corrupt.
I await the biopic with baited breath.
I wouldn't really say US survived. Sure the country didn't end per se, but it'd be a hard denial to not think literally everything went to the shitters during those four years
Not sure if the US can ever go back to pre-2016
The salad dressing routine was PRICELESS!!!
Them Creamy and Zesty Italians definitely got me!
Missed a chance to end it with "Fauci's Blue Cheese" tho
As if a MAGAloon would touch a salad
Reminded me of Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer dolls routine xD
Missed a Ceasar reference
Imagine what it was like for the production intern who was sent to the grocery store for a *very* specific salad dressing run. 😆
"Ok, we're gonna need you to run down to the shops and buy one of every salad dressing."
Now they have lunch for days
Fun!
As the mother of a 4 year old and babysitter of 2 other children under 5, "adorable cesspools" is hilariously spot-on!
And that baguette submarine 😂😂😂😂
Yeah, if there's a virus, my niece will inevitably get it and spread it to everyone.
Italy has made beeing vaccinated mandatory to be in work. It's the way.
I refer to them as crawling Petri dishes.
"Somebody wants to sneak something into American food and their chosen vessel is salad?"
Goodness, I had a good laugh at that line.
Salad dressing bit was freaking brilliant :) Haven't laughed that hard in a while, it felt good
You gotta laugh at the stupidity.
Blue Cheese
@@suzannepottsshorts Only a lunatic would have added 'blue cheese'.
I was going to reply just "Blue Cheese" but it appears two women had the same thought. So just let me say... I still say....
Blue Cheese
Salad dressing. The conspiracy nut cases are now going after salad dressing.
the next two weeks are crucial.
After that you you'll be free 😷😎.
That is some last resort insanity.
It's salad dressing from Venezuela, prepared by Hugo Chavez himself. In Lenin's tomb.
Can't wait to hear about Tucker's salad rant.
my counter-conspiracy theory, is that these are malicious actors paid by big bacon ^,^
High school teacher here: teenagers are plague rats, too.
The one small silver lining out of this pandemic is that none of us has had The Dreaded Teacher Cold for the past 18 months. That's the one where the kids come back to school after a break, and all the viruses they've picked up during the break get together, have a virus dance party, and create a supervirus from the depths of hell, which naturally gets passed on to any and all nearby adults.
Retail worker here: 22 months without a cold/flu because I have to wear a mask all the. Previous record was 6 months. Silver linings and all...
Our home was just hit with a nasty virus. 5 kids were back at school and in week 3 they started getting sick one by one. The first cold we have had since this all began. Man, it's miserable.
Just wrap the children in saran- wrap. Problem solved.
/s Yeah but masks, sanitizer, hand washing, distancing... none of it works. I mean nothing works like bathing in the blood of Jesus....
I remember one year, one of my Sophomore boys leaned back, and ACHOOOed straight up into the air - not even covering his mouth. I actually could see his aerosol spittle settle on everyone and everything around him. I thought to myself, "That section's going to absent tomorrow." I always kept bottles of antiseptic spray in my cabinets (others did too, and sometimes we had to share because somebody might have had a lot of sneezers that day) and disinfected all those desks, and the floor between classes, which compelled my next class to ask "Why weren't you waiting for us at the class door like always?" ('Twas my habit of standing there and saying "Hi" to each one of them) True to form, that entire section was out with His Infectiousness' cold the next day. When I asked him later why he didn't cover his mouth when sneezing, since he could spread anything to others around him, his answer now reminds me of these anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers where ER care is concerned, "So what, isn't it YOUR job to make sure none of us miss any class material?" (Since teachers are required to provide make-up material for any student who is sick) This was a class in Texas some 20 years ago. I'm going to guess, Mr. Disease-spreader probably became a Republican given that attitude.
"Someone sent me a thing" is how the US found itself watching a US president recommending injecting bleach on live TV.
Ideological dementia ought to be added to the next edition of the DSM.
@@joendrsn And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning, because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it’d be interesting to check that, so that you’re going to have to use medical doctors with, but it sounds interesting to me. So, we’ll see, but the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute. That’s pretty powerful." So he just suggested injecting disinfectant
@@joendrsn you’re right. He recommended you inject bleach into the lung, not a typical IV injection, and then “wash out” the inside of your fucking lungs with bleach.
@@joendrsn I know, right! I keep hearing this, but people can't seem to get the facts straight! The president never said that! It was the twice impeached, disgraced ex-president, who lost the popular vote in both elections he was in, and lost the electoral college to a human potato, that said that.
@@jamesl5302 you left out the descriptors "one-term" "self-aggrandizing" and "mendacious" but other than that, spot on. Trumpers seem think 8 million turned out to vote FOR Joe, when the truth is that 8 million turned out to vote AGAINST the Donald.
"BLUE CHEESE"
That was brilliant. I haven't laughed this much in a long time.
Colbert and team deserve another EMMY for this.
Stephen really killed it with that monologue. He was so funny!
Bleau Cheese!
Yes but there are no closed captions and I can't add comments so I'm going to complain here because.
Covid: Hold my spike proteins. No wait, I need those.
I hope you're taking the piss.
I laughed more at this one than I have in a while
Shout out to the late show staff member who looked absolutely insane at the grocery store buying every single salad dressing and maybe some coffee for the break room.
They sent an intern, or they used a delivery service. No way a paid staffer did that scut work.
It's New York. No one looks insane at the grocery store.
Mad props to them.
@@kitcoffey7194 He's right, you know
I'm an intern and i know this would have been me😂
The reason US did not set up a deal with UK and France is because then it would be called FUKUS……come on, with a name like that, who would be scared of them???
...and we're suppposed to be afraid of the Rebellious English (🇺🇸), the Original English (🏴) and the English In the Sun (🇦🇺) ?
This is funnier than it has the right to be.
Thank you. :)
@@andrewjones-productions um yes, cause the "English in the sun" have Emus :PPPP Boxing kangaroos too!
“Somebody sent me a thing” is akin to “People are always saying” 😂
Well the salad dressing bit had me rolling but Boris Johnson not knowing the point of "It's Not Easy Being Green" was mind blowing.
so this is what is like to live in an onion article.
😄
What would they even be writing at this point?
@@rabbit__ the actual news.
I feel like the only thing that hasn't come true is the politician campaigning while in a coma... Oh boy
@@queerbotanicalqueen I dug the Onion up recently, and honestly, most of the content was so believable it was a jarring otherworldly experience when it wasn't. lol
I absolutely _vina-regret_ not watching The Late Show, very often, of recent...
But after this episode, I'm so back!
Thanks Stephen! You and your team rock...
😎👍🏼
That bit is Colbert’s best. He’s done album covers, and candy bars
Every time someone says "UFOs must be alien spaceships because Navy Pilots have seen them and they're experts and stuff" I just say "Michael Flynn made it to the rank of General in the US Army" and win the argument.
That's beautiful!
You are a national treasure. Nic Cage Is Coming!
Doubting the observational skills of pilots, military or otherwise isn't a strictly intellectual exercise. You either get on planes, or you don't.
If you look at the reports you'll see that no conclusions by pilots are made, they describe characteristics and capacities, so you are also putting words into their mouths.
@@Silverfirefly1 Actually, you are putting words into my mouth. I never said that the pilots were claiming UFOs are aliens (though some absolutely do make that claim) I said people claim that they must be alien spaceships because that navymy pilots have seen them. I am simply pointing out that Navy pilots who are supposedly expert Witnesses aren't necessarily that as people like Flynn made it to the rank of general.
@@bipolarminddroppings Ben Carson is a brainsurgeon apparently, the mind boggles.
It would appear that very cynical, paranoid and selfish individuals can come from any walk of life. Flynn might be a mess but as a pilot be appeared to survive long enough to become a very annoying old man so he was probably good at it.
Between Johnson and Trump, I’m beginning to think that ridiculous blond head mops should signal a red flag situation when deciding who our respective nations should choose to have in charge.
Boris Johnson is way smarter than Trump, and he has a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at himself, which puts him way higher on the qualification scale to lead a country.
@@jefolson6989 you make some salient points but take it from a Brit, I’d much rather have a competent PM than a buffoon who plays the ‘one of the lads’ card to win the hearts and minds of those who can’t see the populism through the endearment. Even that straw on his head has been carefully orchestrated by his optics team.
@@TheKermit2110 WoW Kermit The Frog in real flesh !! You must be really mad Boris The Clown made you the theme of his yet another kindergarten level speech, ... but it can’t be helped cause you’re Kermit, the kindergarten favorite !!
It's hilarious yet also terrifying knowing how much power someone like Flynn had.... and there were numerous Flynns during Trump's tenure.
Two items: (1) children are wonderful germ buckets, and (2) Hidden Valley Ranch dressing began life in the garage of the inventor, who lived in a housing development called Hidden Valley, near the 101 freeway south, in Santa Barbara. He concocted a powder combination that, in combination with sour cream, created the salad dressing. I always laugh when I see commercials for the salad dressing set in an idyllic farm. Green Acres?
Green Acres is the place to be.
Farm living is the life for me
It's called marketing. Anything for the dollar.
Fun fact. His last name was Griswold and his bonus for his discovery was the Jam of the Month subscription.
Brilliant guy to use that for marketing.
"Someone sent me a thing!"
Not that surprising coming from a Q supporter
To think that he used to work as an intelligence officer. This may explains why so many US airstrikes ended up hitting civilians.
A Russian agent was the National Security Advisor. Incredible.
I do image the 2nd Iraq war started with a similar sentence.
What does Q even stand for?
@@couragekarnga8735 probably the character Q from star trek series lol
Memo to Boris: probably not a good idea to use the word 'frog' just after you've undermined the French submarine deal...
Jolly good one there! Capital, I dare say! Super, super!
He should gave used "dumb yank".
I don't get the reference? Shouldn't he not have used "frog" because they're aquatic or is there a specific connection to the French?
@@QuarterLifeCrises There's a number of apocryphal reasons usually dealing with frog legs, and so 'frog' is often used as an epithet for the French, like limey is used for the English
@@khill8645 Nothing apocryphal. The French eat frogs legs.
That French "submarine" was the first in a long time that I laughed out loud. Well done XD
I saw that at 3:35am, yeah, that late at night or that early morning, all up to you... anyway... I had to hold it, to not wake up anybody in my building. You know what happens when you try to hold a loud cracking laugh for too long, right? I was dying!!!
His monologue was 🔥🔥🔥!!! I laughed so hard at the salad dressing bit I had to watch it a second time with my husband 😆 We've decided that from now on we will randomly text, say or yell to each other "Blue Cheese" just to keep things entertaining 🤣🥗
Actually I can totally see Flynn going to Trump and saying "Mr. President someone sent me a thing..."
I can totally see Colbert taking millions of dollars to spew establishment propaganda.
"And that thing is an arrest warrant!
So true , i had a picture in my head as he said it 🤣🤣
@@rick3461 you sound jealous.🥱
@@rick3461 cry harder 😉
That dressing gag. Ultimate dad joke gold.
Sounds like Boris has been hitting the "Drinks cabinet" a little too hard.
That slapping noise is the sound of millions of Brits facepalming. Every time he shows up he embarrasses us.
(Putin) "Only drunksz vwould knouw houw khabehknets aour stockt."
@darknightoftroy Watch an episode of parliament sometime, you'll change your mind 😁
@@malavoy1 to be fair, as a Brit I’d much rather Boris than Trump but I still believe Boris is the worst PM in my lifetime
It's as much sense as he ever makes.
The "I like big balls and I also lie" bit was most excellent.
As excellent as Colbert's new salad dressing, "Top of the Hill". Doubles as a dip for your pizza crusts!
Probably one of the best Colbert showa I have seen. Laughing so hard that it nearly hurts.
I absolutely guarantee you that Flynn walked into the Oval Office multiple times yelling “someone sent me a thing!”
I hear you can get an ointment for that
Did you get that thing, that thing I sent you? - Peter Potamus.
Maybe he was talking in code?
Yeah I don't understand why that seemed implausible to Stephen
I have another thing that somebody sent me, a thing that turned out to be a thing.
Michael Flynn was our National Security Advisor, just let that sink in...lol
Holy crap. Mind boggling isn't it 😳
Only for a few weeks till he was fired for being a spy.
@@666t that's even funnier. I love America 😍.
Did it not sink in at the time?
@@triarb5790 Nope. I have a life outside of politics. But it was good info
"It's not easy being green."
It's also not easy for Boris to come up with a better metaphor...
Boris the burbling Bodger.
A blithering idiot....
_"This precious blue sphere with its eggshell crust and wisp of an atmosphere - is not some indestructible toy, some bouncy plastic romper room against which we can hurl ourselves to our heart's content."_
A "bouncy plastic romper room"? A padded cell, you mean?
...but it should be a piece of piss for UK to come up with a better PM
Or an intelligent thought 😁😁
@@markiliff really? Have you seen the leader of opposition recently and the conservatives are on a level with republicans mainly due IMO to the same puppet masters with very deep wallets!!
I don't know why, but it was the _blue cheese_ that cracked me up.
Me tooo 😂
Cracked me up. Comedy Genius.
Isnt crazy that like, a lot of politicians and government officials aren’t really smart scholars with public interests in mind, just rich business owners who have been appointed to do the biddings of large corporations?
It’s obscene, honestly.
How about M.T. Greene? She's unafraid, jung, brings new perspectives
.... and believes the permanent dark side of the Moon was Antifa
I'm calling my children "adorable cesspools" on their wedding days. 😆
I've always called mine "tiny vectors for disease" when referring to their early years. Surprisingly, their self-esteem is quite good.
edit: It's probably because I always used the word "loveable" at the start :-D
It pisses me off that my tax $$ goes to Mike Flynn's retirement.
Hello there👋👋,how are you doing today?hope you’re having a good? GOD BLESS YOU!!!❤️❤️
Flynn's appointment was intentional, of course.
The noose, I believe, is tightening.
And also to "grump" and all the secret service personnel paid to guard that worthless piece of(insert favorite adjective here).
@@liviia305 How long have you been thinking that? No one will ever be held accountable. Bush still isn't in jail for sending hundreds of thousands of Americans into an illegal war. Trump is never going to jail. There is no noose and it will never tighten. I used to think and wish all those fucks would be arrested too. But there's a point when you have to just realize that you have faith in a corrupt system. America favors the corrupt, not the people.
Cost you even more for his orange suit
My "Newman's Own" Honey Balsamic dressing kept changing color, every 90 minutes ,whenever Elton Musk's comm satellites passed over.
Do you mean Elton John or Elon Musk?
It's pretty convenient that I can now stick my salad dressing on my fridge.
Honey Balsamic, that shit is good 👍
@@RalphInRalphWorld Also, it's way easier to take than birth control pills.
Well, at least if you have poor reception you have a way to tell if it's your equipment or Elon's 😁😁😁
"He was unnecessarily rude to miss piggy I thought " 😅😂🤣🤣🤣
He ended on my favorite dressing, Ken's Blue Cheese!!! That was the funniest freaking bit. Another reason for another award. This is the best writing team on tv.
This man. This man knows how to comedy. My word.
Johnson is held in low esteem in the UK. Good at bluster, unable to achieve. :-( And look up Priti Patel while you're there...
He didnt even make fun of the clown, aka President of Brasil who had to eat pizza in a sidewalk because he was not vaccinated and thus not allowed inside.
Maybe the pizza joke?
Scary as hell that Michael Flynn actually had a position of serious power. Did he recommend military maneuvers based on "somebody sent me a thing"?
Ken's is pretty great blue cheese dressing.
Don’t be too quick on judging the baguette submarines. They may be loud, but they are indestructible.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤦♀️🥐 🗽💂♂️🦘
Is a shame that material isn't used to build houses and buildings, everything will last like the pirámides of Egypt.
They go soggy in the bath, though.
They sound oddly like covid 😂
"Somebody sent me a thing" is similar to how Trump found all of his cabinet appointments: "Somebody told me about a guy..."
Fakenews - he saw them on fakenews.
My favorite trump point. Not everyone knows this but....
Sounds like something Biden would say lol
@@slade1ra we found the lame ass
@@TheCdecisneros "Not everybody knows about this" aka Trump just heard about it 5 minutes before his speech
"Issue $50 fines for passengers on the subway who refuse to wear a mask."
Have they MET people on the subway?
🤯🤯🤣🤣🤷♀️‼️
Hello there👋👋,how are you doing today?hope you’re having a good? GOD BLESS YOU!!!❤️❤️
Yup. The fundraising is going to be tremendous.
ua-cam.com/video/yQBnPT2rX2g/v-deo.html
You go to your subway to meet people?????? ok then.......
$1000 in Australia btw
The British (I am one) are embaressed that Johnson is our Prime Minister and the Americans are horrified that Flynn was once their National Security Advisor. At least it all gives us the superb Stephen Colbert's monologues, so fair in the end.
Boris Johnson is so goofy it's almost endearing. Nowhere near as embarrassing as having Trump in the White House.
Thanks. Refreshing to hear how folks in other countries see it. Insurrection Donnie is our embarrassment. The insecure baby couldn’t accept his loss and cries “stolen election, stolen election, wah, Wah”. His lies (because of his gullible followers) are destroying our democracy. Sad.
I think Boris Johnson is proof to Americans that having a British accent doesn’t automatically make you sound more intelligent.
Boris Johnson has a Boris Johnson accent.
Also since British includes English Scottish Welsh and Irish, there is no 'British accent'.
@@davidmatthews3131 There is a BBC accent. That's also the "posh" accent, the ones presenters on the BBC usually have. It's also the "public school" accent, meaning those private schools like Eton, Rugby, etc. And there are those from Ireland, Scotland, Wales and England that have it, and not their regional accent. It's also called "received pronunciation."
😅🤣😂You made my day!
"more intelligent"? If you just said "intelligent" I'd agree, but maybe try saying what he said in a trump accent instead of a British one & see how it sounds then! I think the British accent did actually make it sound MORE intelligent, but there's a limit to how intelligent an accent can make someone sound with content like that!
@@davidmatthews3131 it was a joke based on stereotypes Americans have of “the British “. 😐
Though thanks for that mansplaining lesson is crap I already knew. Appreciate it. 🙄
I wasn't expecting the, "Blue Cheese!"
I died laughing!!!
But...
When Stephen said, "Muh Nah - Muh Nah!"
I literally Lost It!!! 🤣🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
Absoloootely 😂
I’m just glad Boris’ ever-present gust of wind decided to take the day off so his hair could look okay during his Kermit the frog speech
Poor timing for that joke - his mother died last week.
😭💀
Lolll
Another liar in the Bonespur mould.
@@josephtreacy667 very true but somehow even boris can acknowledge climate change. the US is truly fucked when the UK's Tory party is more leftist than our democratic president
I think the person who writes Borris's speeches should never take a day off. Seriously
'Borris's' And you're talking about speeches?
@@kai-ht3qs Ok I’m a pedant but I don’t bother with typos as long as the apostrophe is correct 😊
@@kai-ht3qs the point comes across well enough in the OP's comment. Unlike in Boris 'BugHair' Johnson's speech.
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Oh god. I’m so sorry about Boris. I’m so ashamed . haystack mother was good 👍
Starts out out his speech at the UN with "When Kermit the Frog..." and I immediately went "oh no...this is why climate change is irreversible, because people like this are our 'champions' "
Its worse than you think. Its not merely dumbed down, its also totally insincere. Boris is happy to speak out on any topic with the firm intention to not honour anything he says.
This edition, sponsored by "Dad Jokes," and I loved it! The salad dressings!!! 😅
Let start a new conspiracy theory . let say the vaccine is in every beer and alcohol products 😆
The vaccine is in bottled water, like fluoride.
Also, chemtrails.
And subliminal Communist messages in tv commercials.
Miller/Coors and AB Bev would literally buy a state to make sure republi-blahs kept buying their products. Come to our NEW Tennessee for vaccine-free beer!!
it is =totally= packed into viagra
We would all be over-vaccinated.
Genius idea !!!
Public schools should require a covid-19 vaccination for students, just like they require vaccinations for measles, chicken-pox, mumps, rubella, tuberculosis, polio, tetanus, diphtheria, etc.
You realize there's never been a working vax for a respiratory virus?
@@joec1212 • COVID-19 may not be respiratory; check out the studies on whether it's vascular, etc. Also, if the COVID-19 vaccines by Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson and Johnson are unsuccessful, how do you explain the current hospitalizations and cases in the USA are over 99% among the unvaccinated?
That data certainly causes me to believe these vaccines are effective against a respiratory disease or, alternatively, that researchers should continue to investigate whether its cause is vascular or something else.
Jess Stuart - That's why thankfully you're not in charge. 😕
After four years of Trump, I gotta say, it's such a nice feeling having our leader not be the most ridiculous one at an international event!
Thanks for that Britain!
Gotta love the Brits - who else would hire a doofus capable of making the orange nimrod sound almost sane.
@@SignificantOtherProd, tRump cannot be considered anywhere near sane!
Now we have no clue what is going on because because our President aka The Big Guy won’t talk to the press. We have to watch news from other countries just to kinda get an idea of what’s going on.
@@SignificantOtherProd I wouldn't go that far...
Rather Trump is the reason Boris Johnson almost sounded sane before!
@@katiestans2824 Nice try troll, but Biden also addressed the UN.
Just because he doesn't do a weekly scream something stupid with a chopper in the background doesn't mean he doesn't talk to the press.
"Somebody sent me a thing..." Jesus, no wonder he was Trump's National Security Advisor. He even talks like Trump.
Kermit wasn't as rude to Miss Piggy as David Cameron was, though.
It wasn't just Cameron, all those Tories have shagged the pig head, including Johnson.
What you did there was seen 👍🏽 and laughed at 😝
@@cronykil74 Cameron and BoJo the Clown were both Bullingdon Boys, so I'm not surprised.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 i just spit my coffee !!!!
Have never been so outraged at salad dressing! Could a Miracle Whip this fury?
😂😂😂😂
That was beautiful. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Its things like Boris Johnson says that proves he writes his own material.
Our lives are so empty without Stephen Colbert.😢😢😢
$1000 says Flynn totally walked into trumps office and said “sir someone sent me a thing”
Dear God Johnson is a prattling embarrassment, he'll be taking scooby doo memes into the HOC next ..
@Kathleen hammett • True, but after Scooby Doo, Boris will move on to the next Scooby gang, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." 😉🤣
He's an even worse embarrassment, all american shows, no British shows 😁😁😁😁😁
Oh he would probably dress up as scooby if one of his advisors told him to .. did you see some of his stunts from when he was london mayor??!!
Still better than Trump
@@winterlongmire501 i think there are times were a photo finish is needed to find the biggest clown !! But yes i agree with what happened on jan 6th the orange loser was a winning loser that day !!!
Boris is what happens when someone studies Monty Python but was so boring they became a politician.
When you tell lazy mediocre posh kid, he can do anything and send him to school that tell him that too. Failed up hill sacked for lying 2x, waves his hands and makes wild promises, with hair he make scruffy to make himself into a bafoon so you don't blame him. He's the worst middle manager ever.
You have to keep in mind that Boris Johnson is putting on an act. He isn't a bumbling idiot, it's the persona he takes on for the cameras. Keep a watchful eye on what he's up to.
Boris Johnson says dumb crap so that everyone starts talking about the dumb crap instead of the fact that he doesn't know what he's doing.
And it works literally every time :
Same reason he dresses like a vagrant & messes his hair up
Like I said he’s Trump 1.9
Never in my life have I ever laughed so hard at the words "Blue Cheese"
That blue cheese line killed me
Whenever I think my hair looks stupid, I just think of Boris and carry on.
That's right. "Keep comb and carry on."
@@lisagulick4144 Oh, VERY nicely done. 🤣
It’s unusual to have two excellent extended bits in one monologue, but I’m sure glad about it.
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Could you IMAGINE 20 Years Ago, Someone Telling You That The Prime Minister of Great Britain Would Be Quoting Kermit The Frog??? 🥺😩😂😂😂😂😂
in America, to the UN!
HILARIOUS!
Love you Stephen ❤
"I miss pay phones".. I'm 65 and ready to do the twist.
I'm 70 and ready to do the jerk. Where's Dick Clark when ya need him. Oh ya, he's in rock and roll heaven.
@@toad4ever103 • But his shows continue to live in UA-cam "heaven."
@@yvonnetomenga5726 Yes, they do.
Toad4ever, I still haven't forgiven that jerk for what he said about old people dancing. Now that I am old, it will never happen.
I don't miss them. Where I live they're required to be provided & maintained, but the company doing so found it was costing more to collect the money than they were making, so now they're all just "phones" instead of "payphones" or "prankphones" if you're a teen :)) I'm imagining a whole generation of today's teens growing up never understanding that once upon a time people paid to use prankphones
C'mon, now . . . the French gave us the first realistic submarine ever in fiction, the Nautilus, in Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" -- so, it's understandable that they would feel a bit proprietary about this kerfuffle.
Even though the first real military use was during the American civil war.
True, even though Leonardo da Vinci first designed one 400 years earlier (or so). But the Hunley didn't do so well, did it? But I see your point.
@@patricktilton5377 not forgetting the story of Alexander the Great descending under water in a glass diving bell. Verne's was a great story though. Here's hoping H G Wells doesn't hit the news.
Its not so much, that the French are proprietary, its A. that they have a signed legal contract with the Aussies (something Americans should understand), which is also why legal action has already been announced, and B. the utter insult of so-called allies doing this behind their back.
Sure, Stephen can make fun of it, and there is much to laugh at, but the basic is very very serious, and just coz the French have returned their Ambassador to DC, it doesnt mean, theyve forgotten. This has caused a serious breach of trust and will have repercussions for a long time to come. Some of the Brexiters are actually hailing this as "revenge" against the French for a military defeat in 1781 or something, but as some French have already warned, the Brits arent the only 1s with a long memory. And just coz the French are ur oldest ally in the US, it doesnt mean, they will just forgive and forget, on the contrary, exactly coz they are ur oldest ally, the betrayal is that much bigger and harder felt.
On the light side: Im pleasantly surprised, that some Americans are actually acquinted with Jules Verne and the fact, that he was French, and knows Leonardo da Vinci at all and even beyond the Mona Lisa.
@@dfuher968 not forgetting that the subs were already late and it seems not very good. And the price kept creeping up.
Boris at the UN looked like he combed his hair with a pork chop
With a pork chop. HaHaHaHa. Good one.
...with a tazer more like.🤔
As ridiculous as Boris may present himself, his message on green energy is true. It is cheaper than fossil fuels these days.
But the effort that went into making that point indistinguishable from gibberish…!
Except he's not in favour of it. He and his government have been going full steam ahead to enable onshore fracking.
The salad dressing bit was brilliant. That was some good writing and Colbert delivered it to perfection.
Well done.
"Vinagrette getting it." :chef's kiss emoji:
Vinaregret* just sayin I think u got autocorrected. Or it was purposeful idk. For a second I read what you said and just thought u heard him wrong. Who knows. :p
i just had a flashback of Melissa McCarthy saying "There's a hidden valley ranch party in my mouth" as soon as i saw that bottle
For Democrats: vaccine in the salad dressing
For Republicans: horse wormer paste in the barbecue sauce
ua-cam.com/video/yQBnPT2rX2g/v-deo.html
Hah yeah I was thinking to myself how many republicans actually eat salad vs democrats…probably pretty slanted
Well it had to happen - the previous guy got something right when he called Johnson ‘Britain Trump’.
“I certainly hope I don’t vinai-regret getting it…
Blue Cheese.”
😂
Also, “In conclusion: Muh-nah, Muh-nah.”
This monologue was Golden!
*"Someone sent me a thing..."* would sound "dirty" to some people.
Is Bojo the clown seriously quoting the muppets.
Absolutely unbelievable. The speech writer must work for the opposition. Surprised he didn’t quote Ms M Poppins, “A spoonful of medicine makes the bullshit go down.” 🇬🇧
sugar
I used to dip crusty bread into salad dressings and eat it all day. And I always order extra dressing on my salads too. I love salad dressing too much.
Well you sound fully vaccinated
@@cynthiawilson4500 lol. Yes I am fully vaccinated. But I also have high triglycerides as a result of my love for salad dressing. If I could fill a hot tub with zesty Italian and dive in, I would. Hehe. Hugs!
From England, I say a huge thank you for that destruction of our scarecrow-in-chief!
We are no better off here in the US. Ours won’t even talk.
“Mr Oxford” - love that line, I’m English and agree BJ is a tosser 🤣
I needed that salad dressing moment more than I could have ever thought! Just the right amount of corny. #haystack
I guess it's only fair the Yanks have a go at our leaders after we have been laughing at them for the last 4 years... 😜
BJ does seem a fool, but I don't think it can equate to the sheer embarassment factor most Americans have felt about that last guy.
The world has been laughing at Boris for about the same amount of time before that it was that amazing Theresa May and your bang up Brexit job congrats btw y'all nailed it.
@@joshuacraig9061 ok have it your way mate, but when you will be allowed to travel abroad, to EU, Asia, or even just go and get obnoxiously drunk in one of the carribean islands (or colonies as we used to call them), you will know why everyone has a smug smile on their face, talking to you.... You will know.
BTW not a British subject, proud European citizen more like (still waiting for that train wreck we where supposed to become back in 2000, and US badmouthed us all over the world for....)
@@alexanderbonardi4514 "obnoxiously drunk" no I'm not 16 anymore. I'm an adult
@@alexanderbonardi4514 also as someone who had been to Europe also no thank you I like the sun.
Makes me want a salad right now!
With dressing?
You’re killing it Stephen!
YOU ROCK, STEVEN!!!