Yes its so important to remember that our kids arent trying to make our lives harder. Such a struggle for me sometimes when im already having a rough day. Thanks for the tips monica!
Great tips! Little kids need to be taught how to handle their emotions and situations. We are also the key people to model the appropriate behaviors for them!
Your kids are so blessed with a mama full of so much love for them. Controlling our emotions as parents is so important and so hard! Good tips. One thing that has helped me is to also apologize when I as the mother mess up. We have a "talk soft" rule in our home that mommy has broken 😬 My eldest now apologizes really quickly when she makes the wrong choice. Great tips as alway Monica!
Apologizing is huge, we can't be perfect all the time and it's good when we can evaluate our own shortcomings and set that example. I love your talk soft approach, that's a great one too. Thanks so much for your kind words!😊
Thank you so much for this! Dealing with hitting with my 2.5 year old. You break this down concisely and clearly. Extremely useful tools and reminders:)
Thank you so much for the tips. I noticed one of my twins hit his brother every time we were in large groups. I assessed the trigger, and now I make sure he has some breaks from the group before he gets overwhelmed. That was the end of that behavior. Another tip: I modeled the responses I want them to learn, for example: if Miguel gets upset when Santiago tries to get his toy, I go to them and I talk as if I were Miguel, and I say something like : “Santiago, it’s my turn to play with the ball,” that way they start learning in context appropriate peer interaction.
That's a really good example and great you were able to recognize that trigger for him and intervene so effectively. Love your tips as well, thanks for sharing!❤
Santa Monica Monica I was inspired by this video a lot, so I decided to record a video in my channel about parenting tips to stop and prevent sibling rivalry. Thank you so much for your always encouraging words, it makes me feel I’m not Alone in my motherhood journey.
Another amazing video Monica! I must say that hitting is my worst fears for my future kids. Your tips def helps us moms and future moms how to better manage the situation. I’m so thankful for you. So much love 💋
I’ve noticed my daughter has gotten very aggressive with her cousin after her cousin constantly hitting her & taking her toys away. I feel like my daughter has built this fight about her when she knows her cousin is around as she never hits or fights other kids and is very kind & will share. But, once her cousin is near she builds this defense where she always has to be on high alert. It’s very frustrating because it’s causing her to cry more & even hit me. & this is behavior I have just recently seen since she has been able to spend more time around her cousin. Any advice to try to keep my child from continuing this aggressive behavior & walking away? I should add. My daughter is 2 & her cousin is 3. Also, her cousin gets no sort of discipline what so ever as she also hits adults & let’s just say... I won’t open that can of worms as to try to discipline a child that isn’t mine. I just would like my child to maintain her good behavior even when her cousin is around. Thank you. I’m desperate..
Thats a great and complicated question and answer. I will do a Q & A video soon and include my response for your question. Thanks so much for watching and I hope you're having a great weekend!
illy Duran Hi illy, perhaps you can be the mediator between the two and firstly observe what are the lead ups to that behavior . I then suggest playing with both of them in range and showing them how to play with each other... if your daughter didn’t want to play with her cousin it’s because she feels resistance whether it’s anger or fear or whatever, so perhaps play with both of them together and show her there isn’t anything to be scared or angry about. If there are conflicts with hitting during playtime it’s okay to take her away from the situation (for safety of the other child) and communicate to her in a firm but gentle way that, that isn’t acceptable and bring her back to the play area.
illy Duran If it’s a certain toy they’re fighting about I’ll explain if that we can’t be safe with that toy we have to put it away and find another toy or activity and absolutely follow through with It ( also reiterate why you are taking it away while it’s happening in a firm but gentle way) and direct their interest to another activity. These practices take consistency, repetition and patience. Also if her cousin is hitting you or your child, i think it’s okay to talk to her parents about setting boundaries that for the physical and mental safety for your child as well...
My son only hits me... but I think it’s because of the ways we play together... he understands that he can play rough with Dad (maybe it’s not good, but I am okay with him playing rough with me), but he knows the difference between Dad and others... it’s never a response or inability to communicate... he just likes to play wrestle... I don’t discourage it... I’m okay with it... he is 4... so far, he has never displayed aggression towards others... parenting is such a wonderful responsibility... thanks Monica!
That's great he has a person to safely roughhouse with! So needed if it's not harming others or violent. I'm sure he just adores you.😊 Thanks for watching!
My 18 month old has become aggressive it seems almost randomly within the past month. He doesn’t get mad and hit, he just randomly hits things! Hitting The tv, throwing toys, & Dad got socked in the face last night and we knew we were in trouble LOL Thanks for the tips I’m very anti ‘spanking’ I hope it stops soon.
@@stellaclear6284 kids understand more than you think. If they're not able to grasp the concept, it's probably too early for discipline. My daughter began biting at 11 months and continues to do so at 22 months. I've followed the same discipline as I did before, except added gentle time outs when everyone needs some space.
Love that I came across your wonderful channel! New subscriber and I would love to hear a video on training parents mind to not hit or yell when that is all we know and all we were raised to do. I am in that situation right now. Thank you
Hi Jessica. That's a great suggestion and I will make a video on this topic soon. As for book recommendations, I have links to many of the ones I have found to be helpful in the description. I think Positive Parenting in particular by Rebecca Eanes would be a great one for you to read that deals with changing your mindset as a parent and breaking those negative cycles in parenting you speak of. I will be making more videos with more book recommendation in the near future as well. Thanks for watching and subscribing!
LOVE this! This was truly helpful as my little one has been doing SO much hitting these days, I love all the clear examples you gave! They’re definitely going to help,Thank you!!!!!
My son is 3 and has recently started hitting adults in public when they say hi or give him attention. He sometimes also makes a hissing/spitting sound (he doesn't actually spit). I've tried to get him to express why he does this but he says he does not know. Once when I pressed he said the lady was looking at him. When I asked him more about it when he was calmer, he seemed to think the people in these situations are 'troubling' him, that is, teasing him or making fun of him. He doesn't seem to think he should apologize to them but I insist on it. I want to understand more about the trigger for this behavior because it makes me anxious and feel like a terrible parent.
So I am very new at this. Ever since having my child my anxiety has sky rocketed. I like the idea of this but I am also VERY hard on myself. Like, I know if I make a mistake I will dwell on it. I do it at work too. Kind of hyperventilating over everything about my child makes me wish I could give up. I feel like I have ruined my child for life already. I don't know ..
I need help my daughter is two and she hits when she is being told “no”, “no thank you” or having some taken from them. I used to do hand taps but then I don’t and switched to timeouts for awhile now but nothing seems to work. Please help.
hi Monica, Happy I found your channel, you are lovely! and I need help! My son Max is 2.5 years old. He destroys everything in our house. Every single paper that is left out, he rips. If his older sister is holding a piece of her art work in her hands, he grabs it and destroys it. We have explained so many times why this isn't ok. We have tried to get him to focus on how he is making other people feel when he destroys things that we have worked hard on. Me and my daughter worked hard on creating a fairy garden for her toys. We told Max many times to play gently with it and to not break it. That we worked hard on it and would feel vey sad if he broke it. As soon as we turned our back, he went in and completely crushed all the furniture we made and ripped apart all the houses. When trying to get him to understand that destroying our things is not acceptable failed, we tried to be understanding. Told him we see that he likes to break and rip things, so we gave him blocks that he can build and destroy,and a basket filled with papers that he is allowed to rip. It has not solved the problem. I am feeling very lost. When he sees how upset we get when he breaks things, he comes over and kisses us and says sorry most of the time, but sometimes he laughs and runs away when we try to get down to his level and talk to him.and he keeps doing it. I dont want to resort to punishment, but I dont know what else to do. Any ideas?
Hi! I can relate to you so much! I have a little reverse engineer myself😉. I will say it does get better with age and he will grow out of this frustrating phase and be able to control his impulses much better as he matures. At 2.5 he doesn't quite yet have the wiring to stop himself if the reward is great enough for him. Even if he knows he shouldn't do it, if the reward is great enough, he simply can't stop... yet. But with your help he will get there. For now you are offering great solutions by providing him things to rip up and take apart. Do more of this and explain to him very clearly what is okay to destroy and what is not. There are take apart toys that he can screw and unscrew that might be helpful to him as well. Continue to help him to develop empathy for others by pointing out how this makes people feel sad and ask him to look at their faces to recognize how his actions affect others. Ask him how he feels when he works hard on something and someone else messes it up to help him learn perspective sharing. Beyond that, though it is hard to always be there, try to limit his opportunity to destroy things in situations you know could be problematic. Keep important things out of his reach and stay close to him in times you feel he might loose control. It wont resolve itself overnight as his brain needs to mature and all these things are a learning process and not immediate. Hang in there momma, it will get better with your guidance and empathy to his little world!
Hello! I have a 1 year old that scratches when she’s tired or hungry, maybe also when she’s confused or wants attention from peers. How do we handle these situations with little people who cannot understand yet? I’ve been holding her hand and saying, “no scratching. Be gentle.” And trying to fix what’s upsetting her. Help!
I have a 21 month old who communicates only with 5-6 words usually and points when he wants things. When he sees other children, his initial response is to hit them over and over. How do you handle the situation if they are too young to understand or communicate?
At this age you have to stay close and intervene before the behavior occurs in times where you know he has trouble with hitting. Tell him calmly you won't let him hit people, hitting hurts and redirect the energy to a more appropriate outlet.
I try all of these things, but I always feel like I just am doing everything wrong. my son keeps ignoring me. Even when he actually calms down and I want to talk to him about why it’s important that he doesn’t hit, but he just doesn’t want to hear me. He will run away. He hits his little sister a lot. Sometimes because he is Angry but also sometimes just because he thinks it’s funny to hit. Is he too young for me to have conversations with him? I sometimes feel so crippled because I don’t know how to make it stop.
@@Damaris972. positive methods are the only way to get the results parents want with their defiant kids. A short term solution causes long term problems.
Hello, what would you suggest doing when your child hits and you do exactly as you’ve suggested in your video, but, they in turn become even more frustrated and begin throwing objects like toys, books, etc.
Hi. That's super hard when they get even more frustrated. Sometimes they just need a safe place to go through all of those emotions and you may need to offer them something soft like a small plush ball or pillow to squeeze or throw in an appropriate area. Keep the limit that you won't let them hurt you or break anything. Keep talking with them saying "you are really mad and you are throwing your toys to show me how mad you are" etc. so they again, feel understood. Allow all of the emotions but set limits on appropriate behavior. Usually when they are this frustrated it stems from having a lot of built up big feelings they just don't know how to deal with and it's important for us to help them feel safe enough to move through them and let them out. Usually once they get past the anger and frustration they will be able to have a good cry, and I just hold mine while they get out the good cry. After this they are typically much happier and it resets them. Once they have calmed and more removed from the situation you can discuss appropriate behaviors and offer tools for dealing with mad, sad and frustrated feelings in a better way so next time they have something to fall back on. Don't expect them to be able to utilize the tools right away or every time but plant the seeds so they have these tools and as they mature they are able to start to apply them. I just try to remember to allow all the feeling and not get triggered myself, not join in their chaos and offer them the stable loving counterpart to feel safe to move through all their feelings. Hope this helps and thanks for your comment and watching!
It truly is extraordinary to witness my daughter read some books and become so comfortable over it also! I was completely impressed. Immediately after one week from starting this reading guidebook, she can, in fact, spell 3-letter words and phrases by herself and certainly not from his memory! Research about this reading book on Google. The reading guide’s name is *4ChildrenReading. Com*
Not sure you’ll even see this, but what do I do with a child who doesn’t have a pattern to the trigger? My 3 year old hits my 10 month old for nothing at all. They can be on different sides of the room & he casually goes over & hits him! I don’t know how to talk to him about what is upsetting him & how to deal with it because he seems to not be in any way upset
How do I connect with a toddler who hasn’t started to talk yet? My son is 2.5 n doesnt communicate yet, he gets aggressive on occasion and hits his playschool teachers too.
Hi. That's definitely a tough one but they really understand so much even before they can communicate back. Ahaparenting.com has some great articles on this topic as well. I would suggest checking it out and I have a video on helping your kiddos talk and communicate from an early age you might enjoy as well. It's titled, "how to teach your baby to talk early" and has some helpful tips. Hope this helps and thanks for watching!
Baby is just curious and probably interested in seeing- oh when I do this, mommy does that, cool! Best to simply say "I wont let you hit me" and gently prevent them from hitting with little reaction/excitment so baby isn't getting that gratification of a big reaction from you. Be aware of situations when it tends to happen so you can effectively preempt any hitting attempt. I also will say, "gentle hands" and model gentle touches for them. Hope this helps!
Another amazing video. So thankful I came across this because my third child is going through this stage. I haven’t really dealt with this with my first two. These tips are great and made me re evaluate my approach to the situations.
Hi, what did u do, how did you deal with your third child behaviour? I am in the same situation where my first two were not hitting but the third one is. The thing is he hasn’t learned how to talk yet. So he can’t communicate his frustrations
My 2 year old is very aggressive towards his cousin, who is 6 months younger. He will just randomly go up to him and push him or try to hit him . Very hard to know how to handle it. I just remove him away and hold him on my lap for a few minutes and talk to him. Not sure why he does this. It can be very stressful.
It can definitely be stressful! You're doing the right thing by staying close and helping him when he can't control himself which is very appropriate at his age. Model and communicate gentleness, and give him tools to express his feelings appropriately. With time and your guidance he'll outgrow this phase and it will get easier! Thanks for watching!!
My 5 year old hits his younger sister too frequently n we have been doing time outs but it does not seem to work...and i am getting pissed by the repetitive negative behavior...
I recommend trying to identify the triggers and circumstances that lead to the behavior and really trying to figure out the underlying need of the child and what he's trying to communicate in this inappropriate way and give him tool to express appropriately. Thank you for watching, keep at it and he will mature and be better with your loving support.
what if someone else's child behaves this way towards my child? I freeze because I typically dont want to discipline another kid and offend the parents.
Hi, I hope you see this message, I have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old grandsons, my 1 yr old plays nice and likes to share his toys and dosen't hit, but my 2 yr old is terrible around otgers, he hits and dose not likes to share, what do you recommend me to do? And, yes am the one raising my 2 yr old. Thank you.
Hi thanks so much for watching and for your comment. I would say check out my videos on positive discipline (parts 1 and 2) to get some more ideas and see if they are helpful. If you have another specific question feel free to leave it here and I'll try to answer in an upcoming q&a video! Hope you are having a good week!
1 year had passed by now since we utilized this *4ChildrenReading. Com* a reading manual. My little princess is constantly enhancing her own reading capabilities so far. She these days reads beginning chapter books and is also a great speller. She also makes up brief stories and also constructs sentences. ..
I give positive feedback often. I give suggestions for better ways to express negative emotions. My 3.5yo son does not seem to empathize with the person he has hurt, mainly his 14mo sister. It's getting out of hand. I will take any suggestions from anyone reading this.
I’m wondering if this behavior is normal, my two year old, after throwing a tantrum, I sit him down and firmly speak to him asking him to calm down, and he starts laughing hysterically. Is that normal? Is he understanding what I’m trying to tell him?
It maybe his outlet for expressing discomfort. If he's hysterical you're likely not getting through. Help him to regulate himself first and get out of the "fight or flight" reaction before trying to redirect the behavior. Tantrums are so normal at this age and he's learning how to navigate all his big feelings through your example and support.❤
My GramSon is bitting and hitting when it comes to sharing in daycare. Please Help Us???!!! I’ve been doing all this and his mother. He’ll be 2 on November 22 nd
He is very young and still learning. Help him by recognizing his triggers and intervening before the behavior occurs. At this age he doesn't have the ability to always regulate himself and needs your help and support when he cannot. If this is occurring in daycare and the workers are unable to provide this support for him it may not be the best setting for him and a smaller or one on one situation might be better for the time being.
so things the thing. my husband and I live with his mother on the same house. I cant even discipline my 2 yrs old son in regards of hitting things because his grandma always backing him up saying he's just a kid he doesn't know it. but thats my point he needs to know that its not Right. ughhh
Hello ... My niece is 3 year old.. And he couldnt speak anything... And he is hetting himself by his hand and sometime bang his head to wall... Please help me.. what should i do...? Maam Please give me some tips...
I'm so sorry to hear that, I would consider having him evaluated by a doctor for possible ASD or something that may be going on medically from what you are describing.
One of the children in my neighbours house is very aggressive He kicks other children unnecessarily. He will spit on the face of elders. He hits other children for no reason. How to control this type of child of 4yrs.
This child sounds like he has some deeper issues that need to be addressed in the home. It's less about "controlling" behavior and finding the root causes of the behavior and addressing underlying needs that are not being met. Many things could be contributing and if it isn't your child you can offer support for the family and ask how you can help if you are close to them. Otherwise if you have children you'll need to stay close when the child is around to protect them and if were me I would let the child know I cannot let him hurt my kids in a caring but firm way.
I started out training my son to read at Fourteen months. Though I`m hesitant about training him how to read at a very young age, I made a decision to acheive it and used this reading guide *4ChildrenReading. Com* He can now read a whole book without my help at 2 yrs and four months.?
With this age, the same principles apply... children are capable of understanding much more than we sometimes think before they can clearly communicate back. With very small children, sometimes it's neccessary to stay close in situations where they might become aggressive for awhile until they outgrow it which typically happens as they mature and are better able to communicate frustration as they gain tools to manage their upset. Hope that helps!
Yes its so important to remember that our kids arent trying to make our lives harder. Such a struggle for me sometimes when im already having a rough day. Thanks for the tips monica!
The struggle is real! And you're so welcome!
Great tips! Little kids need to be taught how to handle their emotions and situations. We are also the key people to model the appropriate behaviors for them!
Domer Home - Thank you and yes, spot on!
Your kids are so blessed with a mama full of so much love for them. Controlling our emotions as parents is so important and so hard! Good tips. One thing that has helped me is to also apologize when I as the mother mess up. We have a "talk soft" rule in our home that mommy has broken 😬 My eldest now apologizes really quickly when she makes the wrong choice. Great tips as alway Monica!
Apologizing is huge, we can't be perfect all the time and it's good when we can evaluate our own shortcomings and set that example. I love your talk soft approach, that's a great one too. Thanks so much for your kind words!😊
Great Video!!!
Thank you so much for this! Dealing with hitting with my 2.5 year old. You break this down concisely and clearly. Extremely useful tools and reminders:)
I use these tips sometimes , always explain why & not just say because . I have twin 2 year old boys ❤️❤️❤️
RemaDee- oh how sweet that you have twin boys... super mom! Thanks so much for watching!❤
❤️
Thank you so much for the tips. I noticed one of my twins hit his brother every time we were in large groups. I assessed the trigger, and now I make sure he has some breaks from the group before he gets overwhelmed. That was the end of that behavior. Another tip: I modeled the responses I want them to learn, for example: if Miguel gets upset when Santiago tries to get his toy, I go to them and I talk as if I were Miguel, and I say something like : “Santiago, it’s my turn to play with the ball,” that way they start learning in context appropriate peer interaction.
That's a really good example and great you were able to recognize that trigger for him and intervene so effectively. Love your tips as well, thanks for sharing!❤
Santa Monica Monica I was inspired by this video a lot, so I decided to record a video in my channel about parenting tips to stop and prevent sibling rivalry. Thank you so much for your always encouraging words, it makes me feel I’m not Alone in my motherhood journey.
Great topic!
Thank you !
Another amazing video Monica! I must say that hitting is my worst fears for my future kids. Your tips def helps us moms and future moms how to better manage the situation. I’m so thankful for you. So much love 💋
Thanks so much, Stephy! I'm so glad you are finding these helpful for your future mom journey!
I’ve noticed my daughter has gotten very aggressive with her cousin after her cousin constantly hitting her & taking her toys away. I feel like my daughter has built this fight about her when she knows her cousin is around as she never hits or fights other kids and is very kind & will share. But, once her cousin is near she builds this defense where she always has to be on high alert. It’s very frustrating because it’s causing her to cry more & even hit me. & this is behavior I have just recently seen since she has been able to spend more time around her cousin. Any advice to try to keep my child from continuing this aggressive behavior & walking away? I should add. My daughter is 2 & her cousin is 3. Also, her cousin gets no sort of discipline what so ever as she also hits adults & let’s just say... I won’t open that can of worms as to try to discipline a child that isn’t mine. I just would like my child to maintain her good behavior even when her cousin is around. Thank you. I’m desperate..
Thats a great and complicated question and answer. I will do a Q & A video soon and include my response for your question. Thanks so much for watching and I hope you're having a great weekend!
@@SantaMonicaMonica Did you film a video about that already? What's it called? Can't find a Q&A
54321go
I'm looking for it too
illy Duran Hi illy, perhaps you can be the mediator between the two and firstly observe what are the lead ups to that behavior . I then suggest playing with both of them in range and showing them how to play with each other... if your daughter didn’t want to play with her cousin it’s because she feels resistance whether it’s anger or fear or whatever, so perhaps play with both of them together and show her there isn’t anything to be scared or angry about. If there are conflicts with hitting during playtime it’s okay to take her away from the situation (for safety of the other child) and communicate to her in a firm but gentle way that, that isn’t acceptable and bring her back to the play area.
illy Duran If it’s a certain toy they’re fighting about I’ll explain if that we can’t be safe with that toy we have to put it away and find another toy or activity and absolutely follow through with It ( also reiterate why you are taking it away while it’s happening in a firm but gentle way) and direct their interest to another activity. These practices take consistency, repetition and patience. Also if her cousin is hitting you or your child, i think it’s okay to talk to her parents about setting boundaries that for the physical and mental safety for your child as well...
Thank you for the great advise!
Thank u’ beautiful message…💫🌎❤️
My son only hits me... but I think it’s because of the ways we play together... he understands that he can play rough with Dad (maybe it’s not good, but I am okay with him playing rough with me), but he knows the difference between Dad and others... it’s never a response or inability to communicate... he just likes to play wrestle... I don’t discourage it... I’m okay with it... he is 4... so far, he has never displayed aggression towards others... parenting is such a wonderful responsibility... thanks Monica!
That's great he has a person to safely roughhouse with! So needed if it's not harming others or violent. I'm sure he just adores you.😊 Thanks for watching!
Brilliant and useful clear and precise. Thankyou !
Thank you and thank you for watching! ☺❤
Thank you so much for this!! My brother has been being so much more aggressive and this gave me so many good pointers. Great video!!
My 18 month old has become aggressive it seems almost randomly within the past month. He doesn’t get mad and hit, he just randomly hits things! Hitting The tv, throwing toys, & Dad got socked in the face last night and we knew we were in trouble LOL
Thanks for the tips
I’m very anti ‘spanking’ I hope it stops soon.
My son started around this age too, hang in there it will improve with your support and guidance as he matures! Thanks so much for watching! ☺️
What did you do? It seems like this video is for kids who can already talk.
@@stellaclear6284 kids understand more than you think. If they're not able to grasp the concept, it's probably too early for discipline. My daughter began biting at 11 months and continues to do so at 22 months. I've followed the same discipline as I did before, except added gentle time outs when everyone needs some space.
Love that I came across your wonderful channel! New subscriber and I would love to hear a video on training parents mind to not hit or yell when that is all we know and all we were raised to do. I am in that situation right now. Thank you
Hi Jessica. That's a great suggestion and I will make a video on this topic soon. As for book recommendations, I have links to many of the ones I have found to be helpful in the description. I think Positive Parenting in particular by Rebecca Eanes would be a great one for you to read that deals with changing your mindset as a parent and breaking those negative cycles in parenting you speak of. I will be making more videos with more book recommendation in the near future as well. Thanks for watching and subscribing!
Love the advice, thank you!
Thank you. Good points
You're welcome thanks for watching!
LOVE this! This was truly helpful as my little one has been doing SO much hitting these days, I love all the clear examples you gave! They’re definitely going to help,Thank you!!!!!
You're so welcome! So glad you found it helpful, Lisa!
super helpful and thank you!
So happy to hear you found this helpful! 💛
Love your videos, they are inspirational and helpful.
Thank you, Susan. I'm so glad to hear you are finding inspiration through these videos and they are helpful to you!! 😊💛
Another greta helpful video thank u for sharing beautiful 😊😗
Thank you Brianna! ❤❤
Great tips and very helpful! Thank you for sharing!!
Thank you Katie!!😊
My son is 3 and has recently started hitting adults in public when they say hi or give him attention. He sometimes also makes a hissing/spitting sound (he doesn't actually spit). I've tried to get him to express why he does this but he says he does not know. Once when I pressed he said the lady was looking at him. When I asked him more about it when he was calmer, he seemed to think the people in these situations are 'troubling' him, that is, teasing him or making fun of him. He doesn't seem to think he should apologize to them but I insist on it. I want to understand more about the trigger for this behavior because it makes me anxious and feel like a terrible parent.
Great tips doll...thanks so much for sharing:-)
Thank you so much!❤
Thank you so much for these tips! Your video is very inspiring and very informative!! I can’t wait to implement these tips with our kids.
Great! I'm so glad you found it helpful!
Great tips definitely gone have try this with my son.even though it's hard because he not talking just yet
Yes it certainly gets easier when they can communicate more! Thanks so much for watching!
So I am very new at this. Ever since having my child my anxiety has sky rocketed. I like the idea of this but I am also VERY hard on myself. Like, I know if I make a mistake I will dwell on it. I do it at work too. Kind of hyperventilating over everything about my child makes me wish I could give up. I feel like I have ruined my child for life already. I don't know ..
I need help my daughter is two and she hits when she is being told “no”, “no thank you” or having some taken from them. I used to do hand taps but then I don’t and switched to timeouts for awhile now but nothing seems to work. Please help.
hi Monica, Happy I found your channel, you are lovely! and I need help! My son Max is 2.5 years old. He destroys everything in our house. Every single paper that is left out, he rips. If his older sister is holding a piece of her art work in her hands, he grabs it and destroys it. We have explained so many times why this isn't ok. We have tried to get him to focus on how he is making other people feel when he destroys things that we have worked hard on. Me and my daughter worked hard on creating a fairy garden for her toys. We told Max many times to play gently with it and to not break it. That we worked hard on it and would feel vey sad if he broke it. As soon as we turned our back, he went in and completely crushed all the furniture we made and ripped apart all the houses. When trying to get him to understand that destroying our things is not acceptable failed, we tried to be understanding. Told him we see that he likes to break and rip things, so we gave him blocks that he can build and destroy,and a basket filled with papers that he is allowed to rip. It has not solved the problem. I am feeling very lost. When he sees how upset we get when he breaks things, he comes over and kisses us and says sorry most of the time, but sometimes he laughs and runs away when we try to get down to his level and talk to him.and he keeps doing it. I dont want to resort to punishment, but I dont know what else to do. Any ideas?
Hi! I can relate to you so much! I have a little reverse engineer myself😉. I will say it does get better with age and he will grow out of this frustrating phase and be able to control his impulses much better as he matures. At 2.5 he doesn't quite yet have the wiring to stop himself if the reward is great enough for him. Even if he knows he shouldn't do it, if the reward is great enough, he simply can't stop... yet. But with your help he will get there. For now you are offering great solutions by providing him things to rip up and take apart. Do more of this and explain to him very clearly what is okay to destroy and what is not. There are take apart toys that he can screw and unscrew that might be helpful to him as well. Continue to help him to develop empathy for others by pointing out how this makes people feel sad and ask him to look at their faces to recognize how his actions affect others. Ask him how he feels when he works hard on something and someone else messes it up to help him learn perspective sharing. Beyond that, though it is hard to always be there, try to limit his opportunity to destroy things in situations you know could be problematic. Keep important things out of his reach and stay close to him in times you feel he might loose control. It wont resolve itself overnight as his brain needs to mature and all these things are a learning process and not immediate. Hang in there momma, it will get better with your guidance and empathy to his little world!
Hello! I have a 1 year old that scratches when she’s tired or hungry, maybe also when she’s confused or wants attention from peers. How do we handle these situations with little people who cannot understand yet? I’ve been holding her hand and saying, “no scratching. Be gentle.” And trying to fix what’s upsetting her. Help!
I have a 21 month old who communicates only with 5-6 words usually and points when he wants things. When he sees other children, his initial response is to hit them over and over. How do you handle the situation if they are too young to understand or communicate?
At this age you have to stay close and intervene before the behavior occurs in times where you know he has trouble with hitting. Tell him calmly you won't let him hit people, hitting hurts and redirect the energy to a more appropriate outlet.
I try all of these things, but I always feel like I just am doing everything wrong. my son keeps ignoring me. Even when he actually calms down and I want to talk to him about why it’s important that he doesn’t hit, but he just doesn’t want to hear me. He will run away. He hits his little sister a lot. Sometimes because he is Angry but also sometimes just because he thinks it’s funny to hit. Is he too young for me to have conversations with him? I sometimes feel so crippled because I don’t know how to make it stop.
He is 3 years old btw
Same for me ! He just laugh and wants to run away. Those "positive" methods don't always work. Some kids are very tough
@@Damaris972. positive methods are the only way to get the results parents want with their defiant kids. A short term solution causes long term problems.
Hello, what would you suggest doing when your child hits and you do exactly as you’ve suggested in your video, but, they in turn become even more frustrated and begin throwing objects like toys, books, etc.
Hi. That's super hard when they get even more frustrated. Sometimes they just need a safe place to go through all of those emotions and you may need to offer them something soft like a small plush ball or pillow to squeeze or throw in an appropriate area. Keep the limit that you won't let them hurt you or break anything. Keep talking with them saying "you are really mad and you are throwing your toys to show me how mad you are" etc. so they again, feel understood. Allow all of the emotions but set limits on appropriate behavior. Usually when they are this frustrated it stems from having a lot of built up big feelings they just don't know how to deal with and it's important for us to help them feel safe enough to move through them and let them out. Usually once they get past the anger and frustration they will be able to have a good cry, and I just hold mine while they get out the good cry. After this they are typically much happier and it resets them. Once they have calmed and more removed from the situation you can discuss appropriate behaviors and offer tools for dealing with mad, sad and frustrated feelings in a better way so next time they have something to fall back on. Don't expect them to be able to utilize the tools right away or every time but plant the seeds so they have these tools and as they mature they are able to start to apply them. I just try to remember to allow all the feeling and not get triggered myself, not join in their chaos and offer them the stable loving counterpart to feel safe to move through all their feelings. Hope this helps and thanks for your comment and watching!
It truly is extraordinary to witness my daughter read some books and become so comfortable over it also! I was completely impressed. Immediately after one week from starting this reading guidebook, she can, in fact, spell 3-letter words and phrases by herself and certainly not from his memory! Research about this reading book on Google. The reading guide’s name is *4ChildrenReading. Com*
You are pretty hehe New subbie here. Keep it up!
You're too kind😊 thanks so much!
Not sure you’ll even see this, but what do I do with a child who doesn’t have a pattern to the trigger? My 3 year old hits my 10 month old for nothing at all. They can be on different sides of the room & he casually goes over & hits him! I don’t know how to talk to him about what is upsetting him & how to deal with it because he seems to not be in any way upset
Very nice friend 👌👌👌👌
Thank you!!
Any books you recommend for toddlers to read about not hitting and emotions?
The aha parenting site has more helpful tips for this! The explosive child may be a book that could be helpful as well.
How do I connect with a toddler who hasn’t started to talk yet? My son is 2.5 n doesnt communicate yet, he gets aggressive on occasion and hits his playschool teachers too.
Hi. That's definitely a tough one but they really understand so much even before they can communicate back. Ahaparenting.com has some great articles on this topic as well. I would suggest checking it out and I have a video on helping your kiddos talk and communicate from an early age you might enjoy as well. It's titled, "how to teach your baby to talk early" and has some helpful tips. Hope this helps and thanks for watching!
Santa Monica Monica thanks
Also any book recommendations for my husband and I!
What if the baby is 11 months old? Hard to communicate my disapproval especially seeing he doesn't do it in anger.
Baby is just curious and probably interested in seeing- oh when I do this, mommy does that, cool! Best to simply say "I wont let you hit me" and gently prevent them from hitting with little reaction/excitment so baby isn't getting that gratification of a big reaction from you. Be aware of situations when it tends to happen so you can effectively preempt any hitting attempt. I also will say, "gentle hands" and model gentle touches for them. Hope this helps!
@@Mthomas047 helps a great deal. And this is a daddy lol. Thanks :)
Another amazing video. So thankful I came across this because my third child is going through this stage. I haven’t really dealt with this with my first two. These tips are great and made me re evaluate my approach to the situations.
I'm so glad this came at a good time for you and you found it helpful! Thanks for watching!😊
Hi, what did u do, how did you deal with your third child behaviour? I am in the same situation where my first two were not hitting but the third one is. The thing is he hasn’t learned how to talk yet. So he can’t communicate his frustrations
My 18 month old is starting hit and scratch my face is it normal?
My 2 year old is very aggressive towards his cousin, who is 6 months younger. He will just randomly go up to him and push him or try to hit him . Very hard to know how to handle it. I just remove him away and hold him on my lap for a few minutes and talk to him. Not sure why he does this. It can be very stressful.
It can definitely be stressful! You're doing the right thing by staying close and helping him when he can't control himself which is very appropriate at his age. Model and communicate gentleness, and give him tools to express his feelings appropriately. With time and your guidance he'll outgrow this phase and it will get easier! Thanks for watching!!
My 5 year old hits his younger sister too frequently n we have been doing time outs but it does not seem to work...and i am getting pissed by the repetitive negative behavior...
I recommend trying to identify the triggers and circumstances that lead to the behavior and really trying to figure out the underlying need of the child and what he's trying to communicate in this inappropriate way and give him tool to express appropriately. Thank you for watching, keep at it and he will mature and be better with your loving support.
what if someone else's child behaves this way towards my child? I freeze because I typically dont want to discipline another kid and offend the parents.
Hi, I hope you see this message, I have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old grandsons, my 1 yr old plays nice and likes to share his toys and dosen't hit, but my 2 yr old is terrible around otgers, he hits and dose not likes to share, what do you recommend me to do?
And, yes am the one raising my 2 yr old.
Thank you.
Hi thanks so much for watching and for your comment. I would say check out my videos on positive discipline (parts 1 and 2) to get some more ideas and see if they are helpful. If you have another specific question feel free to leave it here and I'll try to answer in an upcoming q&a video! Hope you are having a good week!
1 year had passed by now since we utilized this *4ChildrenReading. Com* a reading manual. My little princess is constantly enhancing her own reading capabilities so far. She these days reads beginning chapter books and is also a great speller. She also makes up brief stories and also constructs sentences. ..
I give positive feedback often. I give suggestions for better ways to express negative emotions. My 3.5yo son does not seem to empathize with the person he has hurt, mainly his 14mo sister. It's getting out of hand. I will take any suggestions from anyone reading this.
I’m wondering if this behavior is normal, my two year old, after throwing a tantrum, I sit him down and firmly speak to him asking him to calm down, and he starts laughing hysterically. Is that normal? Is he understanding what I’m trying to tell him?
It maybe his outlet for expressing discomfort. If he's hysterical you're likely not getting through. Help him to regulate himself first and get out of the "fight or flight" reaction before trying to redirect the behavior. Tantrums are so normal at this age and he's learning how to navigate all his big feelings through your example and support.❤
@@SantaMonicaMonica Thank you so much for the insight. It's greatly appreciated!
My GramSon is bitting and hitting when it comes to sharing in daycare. Please Help Us???!!! I’ve been doing all this and his mother. He’ll be 2 on November 22 nd
He is very young and still learning. Help him by recognizing his triggers and intervening before the behavior occurs. At this age he doesn't have the ability to always regulate himself and needs your help and support when he cannot. If this is occurring in daycare and the workers are unable to provide this support for him it may not be the best setting for him and a smaller or one on one situation might be better for the time being.
so things the thing.
my husband and I live with his mother on the same house. I cant even discipline my 2 yrs old son in regards of hitting things because his grandma always backing him up saying he's just a kid he doesn't know it. but thats my point he needs to know that its not Right. ughhh
What if baby isn’t talking yet 😭 he’s been attacking me a lot lately
My son seems to hit out of fun or just being rough and rambunctious. It doesn't seem to be out of anger or frustration.
Very normal. Stay close and help redirect the behavior to a more appropriate outlet for his excited energy.
Hello ... My niece is 3 year old.. And he couldnt speak anything... And he is hetting himself by his hand and sometime bang his head to wall... Please help me.. what should i do...? Maam Please give me some tips...
I'm so sorry to hear that, I would consider having him evaluated by a doctor for possible ASD or something that may be going on medically from what you are describing.
One of the children in my neighbours house is very aggressive He kicks other children unnecessarily. He will spit on the face of elders. He hits other children for no reason. How to control this type of child of 4yrs.
This child sounds like he has some deeper issues that need to be addressed in the home. It's less about "controlling" behavior and finding the root causes of the behavior and addressing underlying needs that are not being met. Many things could be contributing and if it isn't your child you can offer support for the family and ask how you can help if you are close to them. Otherwise if you have children you'll need to stay close when the child is around to protect them and if were me I would let the child know I cannot let him hurt my kids in a caring but firm way.
I started out training my son to read at Fourteen months. Though I`m hesitant about training him how to read at a very young age, I made a decision to acheive it and used this reading guide *4ChildrenReading. Com* He can now read a whole book without my help at 2 yrs and four months.?
What about small kids who can't talk properly yet?
With this age, the same principles apply... children are capable of understanding much more than we sometimes think before they can clearly communicate back. With very small children, sometimes it's neccessary to stay close in situations where they might become aggressive for awhile until they outgrow it which typically happens as they mature and are better able to communicate frustration as they gain tools to manage their upset. Hope that helps!
Such good tips!!! But my kid is trying to give me a hard time though 😩😫... lol jk! Loved this !!
Lol 🤣thanks Emma!
give them a base ball bat maybe they have talent
How do you do all this with a 2 year old because asking him how it effects others just isn’t in his age group I don’t think.