i literally just went bald like this week for the first time and i live with my grandma. she was insulting the shi outta me💀 just told her "thanks for the compliments" not like i give even a lil fuck cuz honestly, what are people their opinions gonna do? exactly nun:)
i got called sir. 🤣 you are probably not invisible, you just feel that way. but if you think about it just a little bit differently.. invisibility. is a super power.
I love how people say 'looks don't matter, it's whats inside that matters'- the real world soon shows you how it actually is. I've had my own experiences of being treated differently based on how I look.
They don’t if you’re a Christian. Not saying you are but I am and God always looks at the heart. The world’s opinions and views of attentiveness and hair and physical looks are shallow
@@rachel_espinoza we are not talking about God or spiritual life, we are talking about how we look to other humans, literally the body and looks. God cares about souls, souls have nothing to do here.
Looks do matter but not ultimately. It’s a saying to encourage you to value your character or other people’s character more than outside appearances. The saying should be “looks mean something, but ultimately, they mean nothing when it comes to character” or something like that. The saying is around because people make it so that outside appearance is the only thing that matters to them and those around them. Looks are for impressions but they don’t determine your value as a human being even though people treat it like that.
When I cut my hair short way less men catcalled me too. But the quality of men that were hitting on me went way up, both in terms of manners and appearance.
True! It’s really messed up. As a black woman I experience this treatment mostly by men when I wear my natural hair because it shrinks and looks shorter(among other reasons)& I travel to many parts of the world. The only time I didn’t experience this treatment was when I visited certain parts AFRICA . The ppl were genuinely kind & respectful to everyone. No one payed attention to “flawed beauty standards”. They were raised with a different mentality & I luv that! 💯💯💕
This is a good thing, who wants to be seen as only worthwhile to use? Basically when a male looks at you appreciatively he's decided yes, your body would be good to use. Its not YOU he's seeing
I feel the same way… Sometimes I miss long hair. Then I think do the daily struggles, and the benefits that come with my now-short hair. And I’m glad a chose to cut my hair!
Same! I'm very religious and I found a man just as religious as me, spoils me, loves me as I am. And best of all he respected the fact I was saving myself for marriage. We got married after 1 year and 4 months
someone said women treat you better bc they don't see you as competition but I think it's bc short hair is more of a female gaze thing, it's approachable and we feel less judged ourselves. to each their own
Girl its competition. We are not as supportive of each other as we like to think. Edit: some of yall need to understand that my comment implies a room for improvement in how we treat each other. I don't get how some of you are coming to the conclusion that I am saying women don't support each AT ALL.
@@rachelleverone9268 that implies that i dont care. im talking about the majority. im not just gonna write a 100 page long essay in yt comments about how every single person thinks and behaves. no shit that not everyone isnt straight. im talking about the majority..
I agree with you, I feel it is more approachable and I can be myself more because I wouldn’t feel like I’m being judged. I don’t see it as competition since that may have to do with age of the other women?
I have a shaved head and men will be straight up mean because I don’t look the way they like even though I’m married and wouldn’t go for them anyway.. and I’m a human and should be treated with respect even if I’m not attractive to them
Man, sometimes men just SUCK! For goodness sake, can't they understand not everything or everyone exists to please THEM? I realize this is a relatively small portion of men, but damn if they aren't the most vocal ones!
@@kateshiningdeer3334 and then you see whole places of the internet of these types of guys raging about girls not dating them for not being conventionally attractive
@@user-sz9jp7lv7i is up to you sister, if that makes you happy then do it. Short hair OR long hair always makes good looking. Also... having short hair is not for everyone, it all depends the short hair style you use such as pixie cut OR any other hair style that combines with your face appearance and even your personality. Beauty is not always the answer... but being creative in a way that makes you happy and proud for your effort... is what drives lots of men's attention.
I've lost 30 pounds over the last 6 months just from basic diet changes, sometimes working out but nothing too crazy. It just happened. One thing I noticed immediately was how much better people started treating me. I always think to myself "thanks... but what was wrong with me before?".
Same but I’m skinny and it’s hard for me to gain weight being that I don’t know how to and I get treated pretty poorly because of it… so many negative and depressing comments but I wish I knew how to gain weight fast and easy
I lost weight and bleached my hair at a job once and the men became nicer, showing me more attention while my female manager had it out for me and put me on a pip for no good reason so I ended up quitting that toxic manager and job
So, I lost 100lbs, and I've heard of ppl saying this but I never noticed it. But I gained 20lbs back, and I immediately notice that I don't get started at as much or as much attention! It's like there was a fine line weight or size -wise and I surpassed it?? Or something in my confidence changed when I gained the 20 vs when I lost the 100. I thought I was beautiful and sexy with the extra 100, and I still got treated as such. But now I feel my stomach is a little bigger and it bothers me a lot. I think it affects me.
In America (and of course not only here), long hair on a beautiful woman is generally perceived as sexy and desirable to men; but there tends to also be a stereotype that beautiful “sexy” women aren’t intelligent enough to be taken seriously- they get objectified and dismissed…
I can't remember when I had long hair the last time. I got so comfortable and confident with my short hair styles but what really frustrated me was that a lot of people automatically assumed I was gay. For years I thought I was ugly because nobody ever asked me out even though I took care of a feminine appearance. Men told me to just 'grow my hair out' to get a boyfriend. I was really really frustrated about my situation. And then I met my husband, and he told me that he loves short hair on women and he's a tall, handsome, masculine man. That surprised me the most! I found my guy, so if you girls were told something similar like me, don't give up! 🥰
@catlady5128 Yeah, don't give up! Sometimes it's really not you, it's the people around you. For me "just" meeting an American man changed so much. I hear a lot of times that his colleagues and friends wished they'd met a girl like me, I never heard such a thing in Germany. I think the majority of men in Germany are insecure and Beta. Hahaha Expand your horizon so to say. There is someone out there who is just right for you!
Thank you for saying that. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is scared to cut my hair by fear of sending the wrong message. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with being gay, but since I'm not it would complicate everything!
jeez people actually saying girls are nicer because they view other girls as a threat. When a girl in my class gets a short hair cut it earns her so many compliments from other girls and actually boosts the confidence of other girls who had always wanted to cut off their long hair but couldn't due to lack of confidence.
Yeah when I see a girl with a pixie I'm jealous of her confidence. I've gotten a pixie 2 times and each time end up growing it out because the difference in how I was treated was too upsetting for me even though I liked the hair and short hair suits me.
exactly! when i cut my hair short, a lot of girls from my class complimented me and some of them actually cut their hair short/shorter a few days after i cut mine
maybe its different for younger people. cause it was the same for me , someone in my class cut her hair and i was soo amazed by it i was like this is soooo gorgeous. a month or two later ,me and my bestie also decided to go short, and we did
This is so true. I’m black and when I had short natural hair people always dismissed and said I looked like a child. But now that my hair is long people come up to me and say natural hair is actually beautiful (when it should be considered beautiful at all lengths) and more men approach me and complement me.
@ Skye Groome i got compliments when i had short natural hair, but now that it’s longer i get waaay more compliments. I’m thinking of cutting it anyways as shorter hair suits me imo
In one year (1995) I went from a basic relaxed bob to long Senegalese twists to a TWA. Where men were concerned, I went from being mostly invisible to hypervisible to almost completely invisible. 😂 My cousin thought I’d gone crazy…tbh she still thinks I’m crazy bc I’ve stayed natural ever since. I’ve gone from short to long (big) and back, locked and loose, and the type of attention I get is very, um, specific 😂 but not always in a bad way. Back then we used to say natural hair is a dog repellent… I’m dark-skinned and have what I like to call “common black” hair.
Here are two words for everyone saying or implying that women with short hair aren’t as “sexy” or “attractive” to men compared to those with long hair: *Marilyn Monroe.* She had long hair when she was younger, but she didn’t become a **sex symbol** until her hair was chopped short and sassy. Some women just wear short hair better than long-Charlize Theron comes to mind. Finding a cut and style that works for your face is what will turn heads.👱♀️💇🏻♀️👩🏻🦰👱🏽👩🦱💇🏿😉
women who can rock short hair are so ethereal and i feel like other women appreciate it. when i see a girl with short hair i usually think she’s either gay or doesn’t give af, which makes me want to approach her either way.
Short hair on a woman is like an instant shitty guy filter-the ones who are into it are usually so much more interesting and intelligent than the ones who aren’t (speaking from experience having had both very short and long hair over the years)
Yeah, I mention invisibility in one of my messages. But it’s important not to think of yourself that way because you’re more prone to certain other dangers from men that are often overlooked as we age.
I’m 30. When I was about 16 I drummed up the courage to compliment a lady who looked to be in her late 60s while waiting in a long line. She seemed really touched, though I can’t remember exactly what was said. I’ll never forget how beautiful she was though. Anyway, I’m just saying this to let older people know you may not be invisible to everyone, whether they speak up or not.
I saw an older woman at a coffee shop with a full head of gorgeous gray she was rocking. Some teenage boys started laughing at her when she put it in a bun. Under their breath saying she was trying to look like the younger girls wearing "messy buns".. hey little Andrew Tates i said, back in the day they were called "Granny buns and this one is on fire. If women embrace themselves, aging and just for fkg once stop carving themselves up, freaking at the sight of one great hair & trying to please men, maybe things would change. Sorry ladies, but the problem starts at home. There's nothing Sexier than an older confidant woman. If you aren't being heard- SHOUT ;)
The older and fatter I get, the more people (both men and women, but especially men) tend to look right through me. Sometimes they actually look at me as if my mere existence disgusts them. They will sneer at me if I smile at them. When I was young, thin and reasonably ok looking, it was a whole different story. Men would be suspiciously generous, nice, and "interested" in any little thing I had to say. But now they often make me feel like a moldy piece of cheese. It's even worse when my hair is short. They tend to be a little bit nicer when my hair is long. Maybe I seem younger or softer with long hair? Idk. It's sad how they only pretend to be nice to us when they deem us attractive, but they drop all presence and treat us like we're worthless otherwise.
i’ve had straight men tell me upfront that they find me unattractive without my long hair. shaving it off has taught me that a man will go to great lengths to make explicitly clear that he’s not attracted to you.
I had such a different experience! Back in college when I cut my hair, girls became so unfriendly. I guess a lot of that has to do with assumptions about your mental health/sexuality when you have short hair as a woman. I can identify with the being taken more seriously thing though, that was pretty immediate.
I think there are a lot of young women who are lacking confidence, they learned that long beautiful hair is feminine and makes you desirable so they choose to wear their hair that way. If you don’t fall into that societal conditioning or _you don’t care about being desirable_ there is something very scary about that for those that DO fall for the societal conditioning
Same thing happens to me a lot of times when I have to introduce myself to a girl I don't know. I've had a very short men's haircut for a couple of years that, combined with a very masculine style, makes me look like a guy at first sight. So, whenever I meet someone new, they just assume I'm a guy and treat me normally in a friendly way, then, as soon as I mention my name or speak of myself as a female (in my language most adjectives and verbs are gendered), they become so cold and everything gets awkward. Sometimes it happens with men too, but the fact that it's way more frequently with girls makes me believe that they probably think I'm hitting on them or something like that, which is not the case at all. After we've talked for a while the initial tension usually disappears, but it's still a pain in the ass every time it happens, it makes you feel so unwelcome and out of place
@@bleachnbones7107 wow that does suck and sounds verry annoying!! Regardless of your sexuality it's so silly of people to assume you must be interested in them just bc of talking with them...
Tbh it's the same with me, hetero sexual woman. Unconsciously I feel pulled of by short haired girls. It's honestly because I find them less attractive and the image creates disharmony in my perception. It might be learned or imprinted or whatever, but it's still reality. Sure I can be rational later but after a first impression I'll find that girl less likable
I’m a tomboy. And yeah this is how I’ve been treated my whole life. Never have drama with women, guys are only into me if they get to know me (too bad I’m a lesbian) lol! Not to say guys don’t stare but they usually don’t catcall or approach. And it’s just really easy for me to make friends. I feel like people find me warm and nonjudgmental rather than intimidating.
Tomboy is a term used by society who can't comprehend that we have both masculine and feminine traits, and apparently embracing more of our masculine side makes us appear as a "tomboy"
Short hair is liberating and easy to take care of. No one should be defined by their hair. Having short doesn't make a woman less confident in herself . In fact if anything it's a form of empowerment . Short hair is both fun to play with and it helps saves you shower time . Hair is something that is both symbolic of being a woman but it's also an extension of ourselves . We as humans like to express ourselves in many creative ways. Whether that be through clothing, art ,music or however you choose to express yourself . We also go through many different phases and there are many things we want to try. So I say keep rocking the short hair try something different and keep being you . Don't let the hair define you , you define the hair ☺️
I’m happy they’re treating you better now but I wish that people treated u and others the same nice way irrespective of hair length or anything like that.. :)
The horrible fact to realise is what influence the way pple treat you, this is really sad and for what reasons… like you have to have short hair to be taken seriously by some men and women like wtf… (ofc not all men and women) but it is so sad to see that we can’t get out of the stereotypes.
@@aleksachyzynska That is so true.. women or people in general shouldn’t have to change anything about themselves to fit in Modern standards or change to be considered seriously.
It's true. Girls are always nicer when you look less 'threatening' to them. Not all girls of course... but 'those' girls. And guys lose all interest in you... you disappear from their world. Not all guys... but 'those' guys. Same if you gain or lose a significant amount of weight. Men that couldn't bother to say hello will suddenly be captivated by your every word and women that loved you suddenly start giving you back handed compliments and gossiping about you. Acting concerned or worried about your weight loss. If you gain... the opposite happens. It's super weird and really says a lot about people and their motives/ insecurities/ true feelings.
When I cut my long hair into a pixie, I got SO MANY compliments compared to when I had long hair. I couldn't go anywhere without someone telling me how they wish they had at the confidence to make the chop how great it looked, to even men telling me how they wish their wives would cut their hair! Also, from chopping my hair so many times, I can guarantee no man will dump you if he likes you, he'll love you with short hair also. So don't that hold you back. I always feel much more confident and "enterprising" when I have short hair...very stylish. When I have long hair I feel more sensual and old fashioned, but it takes so much longer to get ready. And I naturally take a more passive role. I love when the wind rustles my hair, so I prefer short hair overall.
I prefer long. It’s less maintenance. I let it dry naturally, never style it (sometimes don’t even brush it) and get a trim once a year. I feel more authentic with long hair, as it’s what I’m used to, and more confident. The opposite to you - so both can be true!
I heard a story on The Moth yesterday. This lady decided to grow her hair into locs. Her friends and family didn't approve, but it naturally led her to different relationships and community than she had before. Some time later, she decided to shave her head. She surprised her man with the new look, and he called her to say that he could not handle being with a woman whose hair was shorter than his own. 💔 She realized he was actually in a relationship with _her hair,_ not her. Aleathia Brown remains a "Bare Head Beauty" activist to this day. 👩🦲😸
@@Mistical1982 when I let my short hair air dry I get cute waves and ringlets, when it's long it frizzes and looks like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket 🤣🤣 I have to braid it, put it up, curl it or smooth it somehow. When I was young it was straight tho. You're so lucky that it air dries beautifully!!!
@@JBunny7482 short hair is cute af, we can have the best of both worlds because we can just buy long hair when we feel like it. Omg that liberating feeling of taking extentions out and just having your shorter hair is just as amazing. 🙌🏼
@@crnkmnky I'm pretty sure her man met her when she had long hair. Breaking news, men love and prefer women with long hair. There can be exceptions though, men can meet and be attracted to women with short hair from the get go. But when it's long and beautiful then you cut it, eh not that great.
I used to be SEVERELY insecure and my long hair was my only sense of confidence and it was like hiding behind drapes since it reached my tailbone. One night I woke up choking when my hair had wrapped around my neck and in under my shoulder so my own body weight was suffocating me. I wanted the big chop and got myself short hair and oddly enough my confidence skyrocketed. Thanks to that experience in 2011 I had the liberating experience of shaving all my hair off the second quarantine hit. It feels great to not have an unhealthy attachment to hair. ^^
i had the same problem and don't get me started on tangles. My ex husband would roll over on my hair at night and I couldn't move!!! Used to bug me bad. I agree 👍💯 with the commentor as well!!! 🙏♥️🤗
So proud when a long hair girl can see more in themself than just long hair. I think loved ones give them a complex growing up when all you hear is “omg look at that long hair” all the time, that has to do something to your mental and how you feel about yourself.
As a gay girl I was not out when I was in my teens and I wore my hair long, trying to present as girly as possible. And yes, the unwanted attention from men was pretty overwhelming. Then in my 20's I cut it short and never ever got that unwanted attention anymore, and started having more of feminine attention instead. I guess it kinda signals to other women that you're not trying to compete with them in terms of looks, and it signals to men that you're not trying to impress them at all. That's my theory. 🤷
Oof. I'm gay too. Idk what my sexuality is. I'm leaning on lesbian. I want that. Female attention and males to f off. I'm not trying to impress them. I'm trying to impress women. I live in a Trump supporting city so I won't find any girl unless I'm really lucky. ;-;
How long do you grow it out for? Mine is about waist level atm but when I chop it I want it to touch my shoulders at the very least, but I might just be holding myself back.
I had short hair my entire life and after I grown my hair ppl actually acting different around and men suddenly start paying more attention and girls kinda acting rude... It's just doesn't feel right so I'm planning to go back to my pixie cut again❤
You don't have to let what other people think or do affect you. I mean, I don't know you but I'm pretty sure you look amazing with short hair and long hair so it would be a shame if you just cut it because of other people, not because you really want. If you're gonna do it, do it for yourself and not for other people's attitude toward you. Of course, everything is up to you but you're strong, don't give the power of your life and decisions to other people.
i had long hair my whole life too, and when i cut it men i don't know stopped talking to me. as someone who is attracted to literally everything but masculinity, it's the best thing I've ever done.
Hair is a powerful thing no matter how you choose to wear it. I used to be a short hair girl & one day I decided to grow it out & haven't looked back. My mom always had me cut it short because she felt my hair always looked too wild. Now I embrace the messiness of my long hair & just wear it the way I want to.
If it's wild and messy, it could be due to a different hair texture type, which requires different maintenance to achieve its potential 🙂 Found out my hair was wavy cause all my life it was frizzy n it wasn't completely straight either.
I personally think you attract people who are more interested in you as a person. I think with the absence of hair, people actually start seeing you more completely Instead of just a marker for your gender
I had blonde hair and died it dark brown and had a similar experience. Girls would talk to me and were way friendlier and guys in my classes would listen to what I had to say. It was so apparent. I cut my hair short and then it got even better. Then I realized I really liked my long blonde hair and I was really just changing for other people to treat me different. Same issues came back from strangers. Except this time idgaf.
You know, I think, beyond it's "socierty's fault" for making us think that every single blonde woman is super confident, selfish, empowered and a long list with words like those, I would blame any media as well. Like, cartoons, movies, series, even our own families, taught us that. And when we meet a blonde irl (actually this applies to boys too), we think "Oh well, she/he might have a very high self-esteem only 'cuz is blonde", and personally, most of the time it's the other way around. The good thing I see from this stereotype issue with appearences, is that when you experience talking with other people... you might enjoy how different they really are regarding their look, and I love these "surprises". I'd wish people around you weren't so prejudiced.
@@artlinsartuls on point. As a non white person, I constantly struggle to dismantle the stereotypes about blonde girls in my head. I always feel like they're unapproachable or think they're better than everyone else. We learn this nonsense from a young age through subtle messaging in TV shows, cartoons and movies. I'm trying though, because I know what stereotypes are like, and no one should be judged just because they happen to look like a stereotype created by other humans 😊
@@malaikakhan28 Totally agree! Glad to know you're trying your best to get rid of stereotypes, to be honest is weird to have "settings" of how we should think about others based on how they look.
I can confirm the no catcall thing. I'm practically invisible and it's great for my safety because I'm also really short. The only thing that sucks is every guy I've ever dated seems to think i want to hear how pretty I would look with longer hair.
@@hannah2048I actually think short hair looks elegant, classy, and cute on women. It really just depends on the face. But I’ve seen very ethereal women pull it off.
Bro yea! My ex bf told me to grow it out because I would “look so much hotter.” I dumped him and shaved it .. But it’s actually a fantastic barometer for which guys are seeing you, (as a person, who changes, and has feelings, just like they do) and which guys are seeing the chance to create their “hottest fantasy” .and people jump up and down and cry about having preferences and blah blah bla … but if that is the case, go and find a girl who already has the hair u like lol. Never understood why some people will get into a relationship/date someone and then seek to change the other person
As someone who had very long and noticeable curls their whole life I can confirm,- since I cut them people do treat me differently. Especially men, I am less noticed, less approached, and that’s actually exactly what I wanted! people are still interested in me, but it’s way more refined and sincere. I feel stronger, more confident and less fragile/ dependent in a way. So yep, can confirm: cutting your hair short, is a power move!
I think that's a very good point -- it's almost like a short haircut automatically filters out a lot of people. So that if someone does happen to interact with you, they are actually sincere about the interaction & getting to know you as a *whole* person, as opposed to just hitting on you randomly as some object or an impulsive booty call.
100% agree , only difference is I feel as though I get looked at more now with short hair😂💔 that definitely wasn't what I was going for but could also possibly be because I'm more confident with short hair. It's crazy how a haircut can make all the difference
I’ve had short hair most of my life and as a many guy friends told me: most men do not care about hair length. I buzzed my hair and was just as much cat called and received unwanted attention. It’s taken me covering my hair to be noticed less by unwanted male attention and wearing baggier clothes.
Ngl sometimes a girl having shorter hair can be an indicator that she may be into other girls. Some of those girls might have been flirting with you lol
I definitely noticed this too when I cut off all my hair too. Now wayyyyy less random men come up to me. They fear me now, and honestly that was the goal all along. I’ll be keeping the short hair forever 🤣
That has nothing to do with your hair! I have naturally curly red hair to my tailbone & get told repeatedly, by those finally brave enough to speak, that I’m intimidating… as in pretty, the way I carry myself, etc. They’re not afraid of you. They just don’t care to pay attention to you.
@@poppinincolumbus5027 lol weird thing to say, I see so many ratchet looking girls with long hair. 😂 a girl with shorter hair can come steal the show from a girl with one length hair anyday. It’s more about the face and body. Js.
@@kayla7562 Who said anything about one length? Nothing ratchet here. Hair, face, nor body… tho hair is the topic. If it’s long, healthy, & thick… it’s going to get more attention than short hair. 🙃 All other factors equal, most men prefer long hair. That’s just a fact.
Long hair gives you the glam girly look which can bring out insecurities in women, while short hair gives you a fierce, “I don’t rely on my femininity to get things done” vibe which demands respect from both genders imo.
Not for me. I can only look at that hairstyle and think it doesn't suit her much plus the earnings are more visible and don't suit her face shape. As simple as that.
@@caddieohm7059 That’s because you have low self esteem and view other women as your competition. They don’t see you as their competition, though, which is why you are so determined to find some minor fault with their physical appearance.
@@pocketsoup8338 you might be right. But I don't put myself outthere for people to comment. What is expected for a comment? Just agreement and more sugar cubes. Her video is literally suggesting a discussion.
This is what I try to tell my attractive friends all the time. People treat u completely different. The amount of times my friend (who is super hot) will say “omg that person was so nice” and I(who is a 3 at best) will say “they were an ass to me” is uncountable.
Yes. Men used to say disgusting and suggestive things to me when I kept my hair long. Pigtails were not an option because they look like "handles". I became so tough that men were afraid to say such things to me for fear of most certain consequences. But that's not a good place to be in either. Medium-length works for me. Medium levels of attractiveness, joy, anger. Keeping everything in the middle means people hate me less. Kind of joking. Kind of not.
As a girl maybe the reason we’re nicer is because deep down we all want to cut our hair short like that but hardly anyone has the balls. It looks so good on your face shape you should keep it short
Fr!! Maybe it’s like seeing someone comfortable when not conforming to long hair standards and being happy? Like they look like a more open person cuz of the confidence in non conformity
Fr!! Maybe it’s like seeing someone comfortable when not conforming to long hair standards and being happy? Like they look like a more open person cuz of the confidence in non conformity
@@ferociouslioness I thought the same thing but then I decided to go for it and asked the hairdresser what would suit me and it turned out great :) And even if it doesn’t you can grow it out again, it’s just hair I know it’s scary af but it’s worth it!! You got this 😊
@clara_hp6254 aww, thank you for the words of encouragement! I really appreciate it! 🩷💖But, unfortunately even my hairdresser said I wouldn't look nice with a pixie cut 🙁
A different look can change so much. I flip flop between extremely feminine hair, makeup, and styles, and punk/grunge hair, makeup, and clothing. People respond better to me when I present myself more femininely, though I tend to get talked over and not taken seriously. With the grunge/punk style they tend to avoid confrontation with me, and listen when I have something to say. They walk around me on footpaths, instead of expecting me to. But that said, I have learned to use my appearance and mannerisms to manipulate situations to be in my favour.
Yup...I've had short hair since I was 14 (I'm 49) it sends the message that you're not afraid to stand out, really comfortable with your looks/face, that you are assertive but it does give you a bit more authority, credibility and also...there are tons of men who go nuts for a pretty face, graceful neck and short hair...
As someone that went from long hair to short hair: This is very true. I have been straight up told to my face that I "looked more innocent and pretty" with long hair and when I cut it all off I looked "more mature and determined and could fend for myself"
yes, it's rooted in mysoginistic stereotypes unfortunately :/ I wish it wasn't but in western patriarchal culture it's the case. If I were a dude I'd still want 2.5ft long hair but I'm a chick... I HATE the bias, at least if I were a guy I'd get some male privilege with my side of cave person jokes 🤣 I'd lose points for having fem hair but least that privilege would kick in a little bit xP
@@katatonic726 1st, it has nothing to do with "mysoginistic stereotypes", the appearance of someone, especially the changeable aspects, sends some vibes about that person, creating expectations in the subconscious of others. It has nothing to do with hating women to be called mysoginistic. It also involves observing appearance patterns among different social groups and associating the appearance with general attributes of said groups Secondly, what you seem to overrate what you call as "male priviledge", assuming that said thing actually exists. If it does, either you're exagerating or I still haven't found where's mine.
It’s not relevant how other people see you it’s how you see yourself. When you look in the mirror you need to like what you see. That’s the only thing that matters.
Same. I had a pixie for 12 years. Got complimented ALL the time. Then I grew it out for my wedding, and no one has complimented me in 3 years. I feel invisible and boring with medium length hair. HATED long hair. I’m planning on getting it cut short again. People took me more seriously and women loved my short hair!
I mean, I don't know what happened here, but this cut looks like there was no real care or thoughtfulness for aesthetics put into it and it looked great before, so.... 🤷🏼♀️
As a plus size woman, I got cat called almost non stop with short hair. It was fking weird. I made friends more easily, too. Now with 4 foot long hair Im lucky if someone makes eye contact. It's probably because it sharpened your features and brought out your eyes so they're forced to reexamine how they approach you. For me, short hair softens my features.
People like expected me to not have emotions when I had short hair, I felt like I was forced to step into my masculine energy more than was natural for me so I have long hair now 😊
That's so true. I used to have long hair and when I chopped it women were much nicer to me and ppl took me more seriously. It helped me with my confidence and now I am growing my hair long again. I'm taking that same confidence and rocking my long hair. I now notice women are still nice to me and the ones that aren't are not worth my time. I love the feminine feeling of long flowy hair.
As an otherwise pretty femme -looking person, I can say the hair makes a huge difference. The whole time my hair's been short, I've never been catcalled/rarely get male attention from ppl at my school, and I've also found that sometimes old ppl treat you weird. One time I had a guy tell me my hair was "horrible", then just walk away ┐(´ー｀)┌
Looks matter so much when it comes to how others treat you. I have had short hair and long hair, I’ve been thin and fat, I’ve had grey hair and dyed hair (first grey at 14), I’ve had corporate jobs I dressed up for and non profit jobs where I wore jeans. I’ve been the same person being and doing all of these things but based on the way I get treated it’s like I’m 10 different people!
It is ridiculous how much men care about hair.. while most of them start to get bald after their 30 years of age. But if they DONT CARE about your hair,you at least know you have a good one. So..it is kind of a way to see who the REAL MEN are...that like you for YOU,not your 'hair' and all that superficial stuff😘 It is a good way to tell the difference between 'boys' from the 'men'.
This is so true!! I miss my short hair, people treat you with so much more respect. Humans are strange. Unfortunately as a person of colour it's quite expensive to keep getting it cut :( (in my area anyway) so I've had to let it grow again. I like my long hair too, but I really felt like myself so much more with it short, probably mostly because then I get treated the way I actually want to be treated.
I had a botched bleach job that fried my hair for a show I was doing and had to get it cut as well after having long hair for most of my life. I had a hard time at first, but I kept getting angry at how many men (teachers, baristas, and just dudes on my campus) who felt the need to tell me I looked better before…meanwhile I’m like “I’m sorry I missed the part where I asked for your freaking opinion??”. what by would push me over the edge is when they looked at me like they were studying me like an object making a disapproving face. I knew my hair would grow, but some folks are walking around with the audacity out there.
I've also had long hair my entire life. I have cut it shoulder length but that was always it. Back in 2018 I had to shave my head due to my skin condition Psoriasis. I needed to be able to let the skin breath and also it made applying the medicated cream way easier! I was working a security job with my husband. This random guy who was working on the work site I was guarding comes up and says " I prefer you with longer hair hon cause you're not pretty now that you've got no hair..." I literally looked at him and said I HAVE a HUSBAND you dick! Also I needed to shave my head and it's none of your business! Some people really have some nerve. Also a lot of women started to call me Sir... Which annoyed me cause I'm a straight female. I swear people need to think before they speak. My hair is long currently but I want to cut it shoulder length lol.
People definitely treat me way better now that I grew back my hair from it being super short for a while. I wish it wasn't that way because I really miss my short hair.
Men hate you, women love you. You also get sooo many compliments (all from women) and these women always wanna be near you as a safe space more often. I love having short hair
I might've been the only one but after I buzzed my head guys started talking to me more, it seemed as if I was taken more seriously, and they started noticing me more in a romantic way than when I had long hair. With women I've had various approaches, some were more reluctant to talk to me and others were super nice and wished they could do the same
I had all my hair chopped off due to a miscommunication with my hairdresser once and honestly I never really turned it into a positive experience. I'm so happy for you that though it wasn't your intention to have to cut your hair, you were able to actually grow to feel more confident!
It took me ages to grow my long hair and am currently enjoying it. I couldn't care less about other women's insecurities its not my problem. Besides I don't really experience a lot of it, but then again I dress quite casual and don't wear a lot of makeup I guess that balances it out. Also nowadays when I'm out I'm mostly with my child and husband - that's probably another reason why! You can always tie your hair up too. Female jealousy and men being very visual is unfortunately quite common and we just need to learn to deal with it. If I ever do cut my hair short the reason will never be to please others.
As someone who cut her hair short and straightened it, it made me feel a lot confident as well because the hair is the one last thing you'd worry about. It's definitely a different feeling and you get to feel like yourself with the people you know and feel especially comfortable who you still don't know
As a woman, I actually envy women with short hair, it takes so much courage, courage I'll never have. My receding chin makes me hide behind my hair so I've grown it down to my thighs.
I also thought I would never be one of these people who cut their own hair, and here I am. Look what the pandemic did to me! But much before that, I had my hair carefully trimmed short in the hairdresser. It might look ugly (ngl it probably will look ugly until you find a style you like) but it's extremely liberating. Now I feel I could do anything I wanted to my hair.
Only women with good facial structure can rock a short hair . Most women look like potato with it . You need to habe more angular face to rock that shii
Yep very accurate. I lost all my hair that used to be waist length and went from 90lbs to 200+ in literally less than 2 years. (Due to illness) If you think that's impossible then think again, it IS possible I LIVE it. I used to be able to strike conversations with strangers, people used to walk up to me just to chat, male and female (I'm female), I use to walk a length of road to my job and no exaggeration in that 5 minute walk alone I'd get commonly 2-3 catcalls and depending on my outfit/ updo or down do, up to 7-8. People would look at me and id smile, they'd compliment, id walk into a room and everyone would look. Now?? I feel completely invisible. I've had doors slammed in my face, I look at someone and they look away or grimace. Nobody will help me in stores, just yesterday I held the elevator for two different men two different instances and they literally said nothing or even made eye contact. And dear God, the doctors. Even knowing my medical history they treat me like a muddy pig eating outta a trough, such disgust and disdain. I used to work in the medical field up until about 20-21 when I became unwell. I lived for helping people, for conversations, friends, love, socializing. Now at 23 years old all my friends left me, my fiance of 7 years cheated on me last week, I work from home unable to leave my house because I feel disgusting. Due to organ damage my liver cannot process fats, sugar, salt etc. Leading to 5lbs weight gain every 2 weeks unless I eat nothing. If this happened gradually I could manage, but turning into a stranger in less than 2 years does a lot of damage to your body, mind, and self worth. Thanks for coming to my Ted-Talk.
That's really insightful! We're told not to judge by looks, but I think it's easy to do and not even realize it. It takes purposeful effort to treat everyone as evenly as possible.
Seeing that, I feel lucky to be in Germany. They don't care much about appearance. I went from being catcalled 50 times a day in Holland, whether I was wearing a dress or sweatpants to never overnight, only hitted on 3 or 4 times in the streets in 17 years. And I went from long hair to short a few times, people treated me the exact same way. Same with weight. I do see more interest from men within a certain range (neither too thin nor too fat) but people treat me the same regardless of my weight here, never ever had a comment from Germans on my weight, even when I gained 50lbs in 2 months due to hypothyroidism...I come from France and there would also be like for you I think, people judge a lot based on appearance...
I got short hair recently because of an epic layering fail and this is very accurate, although I do miss longer hair I'm tempted to keep it short because I feel much safer
This is so true, like people start treating you with more respect and kindness especially men. Its like I command good attention wherever I go, I don't if it's right but I feel good.
You look stunning. Honestly girls dont treat me better. And boys just think I look nasty. People always ask me why i did it and tell me " you dont wanna look like that you wanna grow your hair out " and im just like do i? Do i really its my hair
Hair is the glory of a woman, it is writen; therefore insecure women see you with jealousy when you have gorgeous hair, and compassionate women show consideration when you have short hair. Plus men see you less pretty so they don't see you as a person whom they will purposely win favor, but there is still men that are chivalrous even with your short hair... you see the effects of your glory being removed. Good thing is that it grows. The sad thing is to see the effects of a fallen world cohersing women into a "less feminine"(in my opinion long hair is very feminine) version of themselves. By the way your long hair is super gorgeous and admirable. Do not let a toxic society be a determinant factor to not grow it again. You rock both styles, by the way. And you decide what to do.
I believe that men will treat you more as a human being if you have long hair because 1. They aren’t attracted to you and 2. Short hair is associated with masculinity. Women also treat women with short hair with more respect since they no longer see them in a competitive level. Not all women are attracted to men or want to attract them, so they escaped the toxic femininity bubble.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I had short hair all my life against my will and long hair for me symbolizes taking the control back in my own hand. With that said, it’s so interesting that I can now understand why all of sudden I had much more insecure females around me and guys felt they could dominate me. I couldn’t understand it but now it starting to all make a little bit more sense.
Sorry to tell this but girls are nicer because having short hair is still less a beauty standard than having long gorgeous hair… so they probably feel less in « beauty »competition or see you as a « danger » to their confidence/ beauty or even male attention… sorry if I am harsh but it often is the reality, the female competition is ugly. You still look so god and beautiful, your face features really pop out ! Love your reels ! Love the good vibes you give ! Xoxo
Nope, that’s just men projecting the stereotypical look they prefer onto women they don’t know and making assumptions. Women are jealous of other women who don’t seek external validation from strangers and have the self-confidence to do what they want when they want, like cut off all their hair if they feel like it. They get jealous of the self-confidence of women who live life on their own terms.
I think it's also how you carry yourself. When my hair was short it made me carry myself differently because I felt differently... I walked taller and more assertive because I wanted to own my new look. I was going into the medical field so I wanted to have easy to wash hair and be less appealing to men... Which by the way didn't help... Lol but I was more intimidating to everyone in a professional way. Everyone thought I had all the answers even though I was just faking it until I made it. 😅 It helps to feel that confidence though. It worked. Short hairs been calling me again, but I love playing with my long hair.
I dyed my hair pink and worked like gangbusters. The strangers quit being weird. Ladies warm up to me faster , and men lighten up and relax their physical stance.
I guess it depends on your goals. I have a hair disorder which means it's short & thin. I have an identical twin sister who has long hair to her butt & yea, I definitely have a complex over how us identical people got treated so differently over our lives. I got so tired of people asking if I was her mom (she's 1 minute older than me) or men wanting her & coming to me only when she turned them down. So now I wear long hair wigs, so I can feel young & beautiful instead of being treated as old & ugly.
I was made to wear a pixie haircut until fifth grade because my parents didn't want to deal with my fine hair and tender scalp. Once I was allowed to grow it out, I have never been willing to give it up. It was down to my waist in November and I cut about half of it off. So it's still long but I am enjoying it a little bit shorter for ease of care. I wear my hair for myself. Not for anybody else. I'm 62, and I probably get looks that I wouldn't without the hair. But once they figure out I'm not some young thing they leave me alone anyway. 😂
I'm 50 and I shaved my head because it was so damaged and I got way too much attention from men.....too much cat calling. I'm 7 months growth and I was shocked at the positive reaction I've gotten. I got asked out so much and dated too;)
When I got followed home after work and attacked outside my house, several people told me it was because my hair was “too beautiful” and ever since then, I always wear it up in a bun. Every day. That’s my only hair style now.
Assaulted because your hair was "too beautiful"?!?! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 What the fuck is wrong with those people?!? That's the same as blaming an assault on the way the victim was dressed! It's absolute bullshit, it's victim blaming, and it's wrong. The blame lies ONLY on the attacker.
i spent my teen years with a short, boyish cut and never received misogynistic catcalls. i did, however, once receive homophobic abuse from a random bloke on the street.
i feel you. i had the same experience. cut my hair in my early 30s just to get away from that image and break the invisible but very real bubble it put me in. The most insane thing for me was that i felt women were having similar reactions to men and kinda saw me as some sort of idea or ideal rather than a normal human being. adding to this the fact that i have always been skinny and watched my weight, it made for a powerful combo i guess. overall, it made me feel less of a human being in my everyday interactions. when i cut my hair, people in my life had a real hard time accepting it, some got upset and barely looked at me. it was a surreal, strange experience. Now i feel free and beautiful and more myself than ever and the people that appreciate me now are the kind that are less superficial.
I have long hair down to my booty and I love it. Tbh I've never cared for short hair on myself I love long hair and that's it. If you choose to cut your hair I'll support that decision there is nothing wrong with it.
I had short hair all through high school and it absolutely changes everything about the way you exist in the world. Guys lost almost all interest in me but girls were flirting with me constantly. Was absolutely stellar, except the part where I got misgendered all the time.
I have a pixie cut, and have same experience... I wonder if it has to do with the fact that our faces and eyes are more seen. 🤷 People can see our facial expressions more openly.
Cut my long princess hair short for the first time a while back to about chin length and got nothing but positive feedback from both men (one guy told me it was giving Elle Woods vibes lmao) and women! it was incredibly fun since it’s was less work to take care of and fun to style, and my mom mentioned she could see my face for the first time lol. So yeah I think the combo of seeing face more+ stereotype of the short haired girl boss makes ppl respect/engage with you more than they otherwise would. Also think the “independent” look is what scares the catcaller misogynists away, since they’ll interpret it through their skewed thinking as you being gay or “too dominant” and feel threatened
As someone who has shaved their head twice, I can confirm. People do treat you different.
I did not noticed it on myself. I also was bald two times. Maybe i just did not gave a single fuck about peoples opinions, neither their acts 😂
i literally just went bald like this week for the first time and i live with my grandma. she was insulting the shi outta me💀 just told her "thanks for the compliments" not like i give even a lil fuck cuz honestly, what are people their opinions gonna do? exactly nun:)
Same. And I kept it @ a 1.5 for 11 months the second time.
Honestly I miss it 😢
Yup haha just posted the same. You really get treated differently
i got called sir. 🤣 you are probably not invisible, you just feel that way. but if you think about it just a little bit differently.. invisibility. is a super power.
I love how people say 'looks don't matter, it's whats inside that matters'- the real world soon shows you how it actually is. I've had my own experiences of being treated differently based on how I look.
They don’t if you’re a Christian. Not saying you are but I am and God always looks at the heart. The world’s opinions and views of attentiveness and hair and physical looks are shallow
@@rachel_espinoza
we are not talking about God or spiritual life, we are talking about how we look to other humans, literally the body and looks. God cares about souls, souls have nothing to do here.
Pretty privilege is huge nowadays!
Looks do matter but not ultimately. It’s a saying to encourage you to value your character or other people’s character more than outside appearances.
The saying should be “looks mean something, but ultimately, they mean nothing when it comes to character” or something like that.
The saying is around because people make it so that outside appearance is the only thing that matters to them and those around them. Looks are for impressions but they don’t determine your value as a human being even though people treat it like that.
It's usually that way until they get to know you, past the outer image.
When I cut my hair short way less men catcalled me too. But the quality of men that were hitting on me went way up, both in terms of manners and appearance.
Ayy that's really cool!!! waiting for it to happen to me 👉👈 haha
True! It’s really messed up. As a black woman I experience this treatment mostly by men when I wear my natural hair because it shrinks and looks shorter(among other reasons)& I travel to many parts of the world.
The only time I didn’t experience this treatment was when I visited certain parts AFRICA . The ppl were genuinely kind & respectful to everyone. No one payed attention to “flawed beauty standards”. They were raised with a different mentality & I luv that! 💯💯💕
This is a good thing, who wants to be seen as only worthwhile to use? Basically when a male looks at you appreciatively he's decided yes, your body would be good to use. Its not YOU he's seeing
I feel the same way…
Sometimes I miss long hair. Then I think do the daily struggles, and the benefits that come with my now-short hair. And I’m glad a chose to cut my hair!
Same! I'm very religious and I found a man just as religious as me, spoils me, loves me as I am. And best of all he respected the fact I was saving myself for marriage. We got married after 1 year and 4 months
someone said women treat you better bc they don't see you as competition but I think it's bc short hair is more of a female gaze thing, it's approachable and we feel less judged ourselves. to each their own
its 100 percent bc of compretition lets just be fr here
@@angelic..9906that implies everyone is straight
Girl its competition. We are not as supportive of each other as we like to think.
Edit: some of yall need to understand that my comment implies a room for improvement in how we treat each other. I don't get how some of you are coming to the conclusion that I am saying women don't support each AT ALL.
@@rachelleverone9268 that implies that i dont care. im talking about the majority. im not just gonna write a 100 page long essay in yt comments about how every single person thinks and behaves. no shit that not everyone isnt straight. im talking about the majority..
I agree with you, I feel it is more approachable and I can be myself more because I wouldn’t feel like I’m being judged. I don’t see it as competition since that may have to do with age of the other women?
I have a shaved head and men will be straight up mean because I don’t look the way they like even though I’m married and wouldn’t go for them anyway.. and I’m a human and should be treated with respect even if I’m not attractive to them
Man, sometimes men just SUCK! For goodness sake, can't they understand not everything or everyone exists to please THEM?
I realize this is a relatively small portion of men, but damn if they aren't the most vocal ones!
No need to grow up and mind their own damn business
@@kateshiningdeer3334 they’re entitled and the majority of them are potential rapists/rapists so it’s not surprising
@@kateshiningdeer3334 and then you see whole places of the internet of these types of guys raging about girls not dating them for not being conventionally attractive
why would you deserve respect from strangers? you didn’t do anything for them to give them a reason to respect you
As a man myself I'm the opposite.
Girls with short hair but with pixie haircut makes me wanna hold the door 10 times Twice!!!
@@user-sz9jp7lv7i is up to you sister, if that makes you happy then do it. Short hair OR long hair always makes good looking. Also... having short hair is not for everyone, it all depends the short hair style you use such as pixie cut OR any other hair style that combines with your face appearance and even your personality. Beauty is not always the answer... but being creative in a way that makes you happy and proud for your effort... is what drives lots of men's attention.
I've lost 30 pounds over the last 6 months just from basic diet changes, sometimes working out but nothing too crazy. It just happened. One thing I noticed immediately was how much better people started treating me. I always think to myself "thanks... but what was wrong with me before?".
Same but I’m skinny and it’s hard for me to gain weight being that I don’t know how to and I get treated pretty poorly because of it… so many negative and depressing comments but I wish I knew how to gain weight fast and easy
Same. People have been nicer to me ever since I became skinnier and I hate them for that.
I lost weight and bleached my hair at a job once and the men became nicer, showing me more attention while my female manager had it out for me and put me on a pip for no good reason so I ended up quitting that toxic manager and job
So, I lost 100lbs, and I've heard of ppl saying this but I never noticed it. But I gained 20lbs back, and I immediately notice that I don't get started at as much or as much attention! It's like there was a fine line weight or size -wise and I surpassed it?? Or something in my confidence changed when I gained the 20 vs when I lost the 100. I thought I was beautiful and sexy with the extra 100, and I still got treated as such. But now I feel my stomach is a little bigger and it bothers me a lot. I think it affects me.
As someone who gained 40lbs after having a baby I can tell you this is also true. Men especially lol we’re way nicer when I was in good shape
Short hair makes you look like an independent girl boss .
Long hair makes you look like a sweet and polite lady.
Probably yes. In my country we have beauty standard to have long hair to look feminie.
In America (and of course not only here), long hair on a beautiful woman is generally perceived as sexy and desirable to men; but there tends to also be a stereotype that beautiful “sexy” women aren’t intelligent enough to be taken seriously- they get objectified and dismissed…
Duh 🙄
That’s what I’m thinking
@@maple_vanilla if you're not a lesbian please don't say the d word its a slur you cannot reclaim if youre not a lesbian
I can't remember when I had long hair the last time. I got so comfortable and confident with my short hair styles but what really frustrated me was that a lot of people automatically assumed I was gay. For years I thought I was ugly because nobody ever asked me out even though I took care of a feminine appearance. Men told me to just 'grow my hair out' to get a boyfriend.
I was really really frustrated about my situation.
And then I met my husband, and he told me that he loves short hair on women and he's a tall, handsome, masculine man. That surprised me the most! I found my guy, so if you girls were told something similar like me, don't give up! 🥰
This actually gave me some kind of hope.😭
@catlady5128 Yeah, don't give up! Sometimes it's really not you, it's the people around you. For me "just" meeting an American man changed so much. I hear a lot of times that his colleagues and friends wished they'd met a girl like me, I never heard such a thing in Germany. I think the majority of men in Germany are insecure and Beta. Hahaha Expand your horizon so to say. There is someone out there who is just right for you!
No Masculine man will even look towards a lesbo let alone marry her
same with me 😭❤
Thank you for saying that. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is scared to cut my hair by fear of sending the wrong message. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with being gay, but since I'm not it would complicate everything!
jeez people actually saying girls are nicer because they view other girls as a threat. When a girl in my class gets a short hair cut it earns her so many compliments from other girls and actually boosts the confidence of other girls who had always wanted to cut off their long hair but couldn't due to lack of confidence.
Yeah when I see a girl with a pixie I'm jealous of her confidence. I've gotten a pixie 2 times and each time end up growing it out because the difference in how I was treated was too upsetting for me even though I liked the hair and short hair suits me.
Absolutely agree w u!
exactly! when i cut my hair short, a lot of girls from my class complimented me and some of them actually cut their hair short/shorter a few days after i cut mine
It depends on the culture. Many areas women are in competition based on looks.
maybe its different for younger people. cause it was the same for me , someone in my class cut her hair and i was soo amazed by it i was like this is soooo gorgeous. a month or two later ,me and my bestie also decided to go short, and we did
This is so true. I’m black and when I had short natural hair people always dismissed and said I looked like a child. But now that my hair is long people come up to me and say natural hair is actually beautiful (when it should be considered beautiful at all lengths) and more men approach me and complement me.
@ Skye Groome i got compliments when i had short natural hair, but now that it’s longer i get waaay more compliments. I’m thinking of cutting it anyways as shorter hair suits me imo
@@skyegroome223 what curl pattern do you have?
In one year (1995) I went from a basic relaxed bob to long Senegalese twists to a TWA. Where men were concerned, I went from being mostly invisible to hypervisible to almost completely invisible. 😂 My cousin thought I’d gone crazy…tbh she still thinks I’m crazy bc I’ve stayed natural ever since. I’ve gone from short to long (big) and back, locked and loose, and the type of attention I get is very, um, specific 😂 but not always in a bad way. Back then we used to say natural hair is a dog repellent…
I’m dark-skinned and have what I like to call “common black” hair.
Here are two words for everyone saying or implying that women with short hair aren’t as “sexy” or “attractive” to men compared to those with long hair: *Marilyn Monroe.*
She had long hair when she was younger, but she didn’t become a **sex symbol** until her hair was chopped short and sassy. Some women just wear short hair better than long-Charlize Theron comes to mind. Finding a cut and style that works for your face is what will turn heads.👱♀️💇🏻♀️👩🏻🦰👱🏽👩🦱💇🏿😉
YAAAS, finally someone said this!
women who can rock short hair are so ethereal and i feel like other women appreciate it. when i see a girl with short hair i usually think she’s either gay or doesn’t give af, which makes me want to approach her either way.
Love it
Short hair on a woman is like an instant shitty guy filter-the ones who are into it are usually so much more interesting and intelligent than the ones who aren’t (speaking from experience having had both very short and long hair over the years)
@@vdussaut9182 I can confirm this 😁
Thank you 🩶
@@vdussaut9182
Idk, I can only speak for myself, but I'm not very interesting or intelligent on that matter lol
As an older woman noone sees me and hair length does not matter. Not a complaint, just the way it is. Being invisible has its advantages.
Yeah, I mention invisibility in one of my messages. But it’s important not to think of yourself that way because you’re more prone to certain other dangers from men that are often overlooked as we age.
Woww...old ladies are rocking savage 💪
I’m 30. When I was about 16 I drummed up the courage to compliment a lady who looked to be in her late 60s while waiting in a long line. She seemed really touched, though I can’t remember exactly what was said. I’ll never forget how beautiful she was though.
Anyway, I’m just saying this to let older people know you may not be invisible to everyone, whether they speak up or not.
I saw an older woman at a coffee shop with a full head of gorgeous gray she was rocking. Some teenage boys started laughing at her when she put it in a bun. Under their breath saying she was trying to look like the younger girls wearing "messy buns".. hey little Andrew Tates i said, back in the day they were called "Granny buns and this one is on fire.
If women embrace themselves, aging and just for fkg once stop carving themselves up, freaking at the sight of one great hair & trying to please men, maybe things would change. Sorry ladies, but the problem starts at home. There's nothing Sexier than an older confidant woman.
If you aren't being heard- SHOUT ;)
The older and fatter I get, the more people (both men and women, but especially men) tend to look right through me. Sometimes they actually look at me as if my mere existence disgusts them. They will sneer at me if I smile at them.
When I was young, thin and reasonably ok looking, it was a whole different story. Men would be suspiciously generous, nice, and "interested" in any little thing I had to say. But now they often make me feel like a moldy piece of cheese.
It's even worse when my hair is short. They tend to be a little bit nicer when my hair is long. Maybe I seem younger or softer with long hair? Idk.
It's sad how they only pretend to be nice to us when they deem us attractive, but they drop all presence and treat us like we're worthless otherwise.
i’ve had straight men tell me upfront that they find me unattractive without my long hair. shaving it off has taught me that a man will go to great lengths to make explicitly clear that he’s not attracted to you.
Oh. I want that to happen to me. I want men to stay away from me. I want women to come to me. ;-;
I had such a different experience! Back in college when I cut my hair, girls became so unfriendly. I guess a lot of that has to do with assumptions about your mental health/sexuality when you have short hair as a woman. I can identify with the being taken more seriously thing though, that was pretty immediate.
I think there are a lot of young women who are lacking confidence, they learned that long beautiful hair is feminine and makes you desirable so they choose to wear their hair that way. If you don’t fall into that societal conditioning or _you don’t care about being desirable_ there is something very scary about that for those that DO fall for the societal conditioning
Yeah I think it very much depends on how “gay” you look with short hair lol like if ur bigger, women def treat u worse with short hair.
Same thing happens to me a lot of times when I have to introduce myself to a girl I don't know. I've had a very short men's haircut for a couple of years that, combined with a very masculine style, makes me look like a guy at first sight. So, whenever I meet someone new, they just assume I'm a guy and treat me normally in a friendly way, then, as soon as I mention my name or speak of myself as a female (in my language most adjectives and verbs are gendered), they become so cold and everything gets awkward. Sometimes it happens with men too, but the fact that it's way more frequently with girls makes me believe that they probably think I'm hitting on them or something like that, which is not the case at all. After we've talked for a while the initial tension usually disappears, but it's still a pain in the ass every time it happens, it makes you feel so unwelcome and out of place
@@bleachnbones7107 wow that does suck and sounds verry annoying!! Regardless of your sexuality it's so silly of people to assume you must be interested in them just bc of talking with them...
Tbh it's the same with me, hetero sexual woman. Unconsciously I feel pulled of by short haired girls. It's honestly because I find them less attractive and the image creates disharmony in my perception. It might be learned or imprinted or whatever, but it's still reality. Sure I can be rational later but after a first impression I'll find that girl less likable
I shaved my head and men stopped talking to me in public, a win is a win
🤣
Absolutely
She's literally dating a man though?
@@malloryknox6802 what does that have to do with this comment
that's what I'm sayiiiing 😂😂😂
I’m a tomboy. And yeah this is how I’ve been treated my whole life. Never have drama with women, guys are only into me if they get to know me (too bad I’m a lesbian) lol! Not to say guys don’t stare but they usually don’t catcall or approach. And it’s just really easy for me to make friends. I feel like people find me warm and nonjudgmental rather than intimidating.
Tomboy is a term used by society who can't comprehend that we have both masculine and feminine traits, and apparently embracing more of our masculine side makes us appear as a "tomboy"
What type of girls do you like?
@@Coolgirl-k4d 😂😂
Short hair is liberating and easy to take care of.
No one should be defined by their hair. Having short doesn't make a woman less confident in herself . In fact if anything it's a form of empowerment . Short hair is both fun to play with and it helps saves you shower time . Hair is something that is both symbolic of being a woman but it's also an extension of ourselves . We as humans like to express ourselves in many creative ways. Whether that be through clothing, art ,music or however you choose to express yourself . We also go through many different phases and there are many things we want to try. So I say keep rocking the short hair try something different and keep being you . Don't let the hair define you , you define the hair ☺️
Well said 💯💓
Agreed!
I had short hair but its not easy to style. Like I need to style my hair everyday, and if I wear a hat it just flattens it completely.
short hair is harder to style than long hair imo
Well not for curly/wavy hair they are hard to maintain but yeah short hair look cute
I’m happy they’re treating you better now but I wish that people treated u and others the same nice way irrespective of hair length or anything like that.. :)
The horrible fact to realise is what influence the way pple treat you, this is really sad and for what reasons… like you have to have short hair to be taken seriously by some men and women like wtf… (ofc not all men and women) but it is so sad to see that we can’t get out of the stereotypes.
@@aleksachyzynska That is so true.. women or people in general shouldn’t have to change anything about themselves to fit in Modern standards or change to be considered seriously.
You can't change society. Its just instinct
Agreed as a woman I would not treat women with long hair any different than women with short hair doesn’t matter how they were hair.
It's true. Girls are always nicer when you look less 'threatening' to them. Not all girls of course... but 'those' girls. And guys lose all interest in you... you disappear from their world. Not all guys... but 'those' guys. Same if you gain or lose a significant amount of weight. Men that couldn't bother to say hello will suddenly be captivated by your every word and women that loved you suddenly start giving you back handed compliments and gossiping about you. Acting concerned or worried about your weight loss. If you gain... the opposite happens. It's super weird and really says a lot about people and their motives/ insecurities/ true feelings.
When I cut my long hair into a pixie, I got SO MANY compliments compared to when I had long hair. I couldn't go anywhere without someone telling me how they wish they had at the confidence to make the chop how great it looked, to even men telling me how they wish their wives would cut their hair! Also, from chopping my hair so many times, I can guarantee no man will dump you if he likes you, he'll love you with short hair also. So don't that hold you back. I always feel much more confident and "enterprising" when I have short hair...very stylish. When I have long hair I feel more sensual and old fashioned, but it takes so much longer to get ready. And I naturally take a more passive role. I love when the wind rustles my hair, so I prefer short hair overall.
I prefer long. It’s less maintenance. I let it dry naturally, never style it (sometimes don’t even brush it) and get a trim once a year. I feel more authentic with long hair, as it’s what I’m used to, and more confident. The opposite to you - so both can be true!
I heard a story on The Moth yesterday. This lady decided to grow her hair into locs. Her friends and family didn't approve, but it naturally led her to different relationships and community than she had before.
Some time later, she decided to shave her head. She surprised her man with the new look, and he called her to say that he could not handle being with a woman whose hair was shorter than his own. 💔 She realized he was actually in a relationship with _her hair,_ not her.
Aleathia Brown remains a "Bare Head Beauty" activist to this day. 👩🦲😸
@@Mistical1982 when I let my short hair air dry I get cute waves and ringlets, when it's long it frizzes and looks like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket 🤣🤣 I have to braid it, put it up, curl it or smooth it somehow. When I was young it was straight tho. You're so lucky that it air dries beautifully!!!
@@JBunny7482 short hair is cute af, we can have the best of both worlds because we can just buy long hair when we feel like it. Omg that liberating feeling of taking extentions out and just having your shorter hair is just as amazing. 🙌🏼
@@crnkmnky I'm pretty sure her man met her when she had long hair. Breaking news, men love and prefer women with long hair. There can be exceptions though, men can meet and be attracted to women with short hair from the get go. But when it's long and beautiful then you cut it, eh not that great.
I used to be SEVERELY insecure and my long hair was my only sense of confidence and it was like hiding behind drapes since it reached my tailbone. One night I woke up choking when my hair had wrapped around my neck and in under my shoulder so my own body weight was suffocating me. I wanted the big chop and got myself short hair and oddly enough my confidence skyrocketed. Thanks to that experience in 2011 I had the liberating experience of shaving all my hair off the second quarantine hit. It feels great to not have an unhealthy attachment to hair. ^^
i had the same problem and don't get me started on tangles. My ex husband would roll over on my hair at night and I couldn't move!!! Used to bug me bad. I agree 👍💯 with the commentor as well!!! 🙏♥️🤗
So proud when a long hair girl can see more in themself than just long hair. I think loved ones give them a complex growing up when all you hear is “omg look at that long hair” all the time, that has to do something to your mental and how you feel about yourself.
hhrhrrrmm thats me i feel like thats gonna be me some day i am obsessed with my long hair in that way too but not ready to go for that cut (yet?)
Hell yea! I did it twice too! Mine felt like carrying around a dirty mop. I like your comparison to hiding behind drapes.
Dude I didn’t know that was possible 😭😭😭
As a gay girl I was not out when I was in my teens and I wore my hair long, trying to present as girly as possible. And yes, the unwanted attention from men was pretty overwhelming. Then in my 20's I cut it short and never ever got that unwanted attention anymore, and started having more of feminine attention instead. I guess it kinda signals to other women that you're not trying to compete with them in terms of looks, and it signals to men that you're not trying to impress them at all. That's my theory. 🤷
Oof, don’t tell the straight women that. They don’t want to be seen as “dykes”.
Oof. I'm gay too. Idk what my sexuality is. I'm leaning on lesbian. I want that. Female attention and males to f off. I'm not trying to impress them. I'm trying to impress women. I live in a Trump supporting city so I won't find any girl unless I'm really lucky. ;-;
@@lllMellll Well there's apps for that, sis. 😄
Amen! 😊❤
I grow my hair out and donate it about every 4 years. It is incredible how people treat you differently. I love having short hair. I feel so strong!
You just gave me motivation to grow out my hair. This time, I'll donate it instead of throwing it in the bin.
How long do you grow it out for? Mine is about waist level atm but when I chop it I want it to touch my shoulders at the very least, but I might just be holding myself back.
That’s so incredibly generous of you!! What a great idea. Thank you!! 🥰
So, to paraphrase:
"Men don't objectify/infantilize me as much."
"Women are kinder to me because they perceive me to be less of a threat."
This
Of because they're lesbians lol
Yep
Reminds me of the maléna movie
Its exactly this
I do feel safer when I hide my hair or when it's short. Not being looked at like a piece of meat is really nice and less stressful.
I had short hair my entire life and after I grown my hair ppl actually acting different around and men suddenly start paying more attention and girls kinda acting rude... It's just doesn't feel right so I'm planning to go back to my pixie cut again❤
You don't have to let what other people think or do affect you. I mean, I don't know you but I'm pretty sure you look amazing with short hair and long hair so it would be a shame if you just cut it because of other people, not because you really want. If you're gonna do it, do it for yourself and not for other people's attitude toward you. Of course, everything is up to you but you're strong, don't give the power of your life and decisions to other people.
Thats sad, do people really have that much power over you?
Who said people have power over her? Don’t be weird
They're actually acting very different and i don't think if long hair is my vibe anymore
@@yanshu2419 I know you're going to nail short hair and if it is your vibe now then let it flow, you can try anything you want ! 💃
i had long hair my whole life too, and when i cut it men i don't know stopped talking to me. as someone who is attracted to literally everything but masculinity, it's the best thing I've ever done.
Hair is a powerful thing no matter how you choose to wear it. I used to be a short hair girl & one day I decided to grow it out & haven't looked back. My mom always had me cut it short because she felt my hair always looked too wild. Now I embrace the messiness of my long hair & just wear it the way I want to.
If it's wild and messy, it could be due to a different hair texture type, which requires different maintenance to achieve its potential 🙂 Found out my hair was wavy cause all my life it was frizzy n it wasn't completely straight either.
I personally think you attract people who are more interested in you as a person. I think with the absence of hair, people actually start seeing you more completely Instead of just a marker for your gender
That is dead wrong.
I had blonde hair and died it dark brown and had a similar experience. Girls would talk to me and were way friendlier and guys in my classes would listen to what I had to say. It was so apparent. I cut my hair short and then it got even better. Then I realized I really liked my long blonde hair and I was really just changing for other people to treat me different. Same issues came back from strangers. Except this time idgaf.
Yes girl rock your blonde long hair!
You know, I think, beyond it's "socierty's fault" for making us think that every single blonde woman is super confident, selfish, empowered and a long list with words like those, I would blame any media as well. Like, cartoons, movies, series, even our own families, taught us that. And when we meet a blonde irl (actually this applies to boys too), we think "Oh well, she/he might have a very high self-esteem only 'cuz is blonde", and personally, most of the time it's the other way around.
The good thing I see from this stereotype issue with appearences, is that when you experience talking with other people... you might enjoy how different they really are regarding their look, and I love these "surprises". I'd wish people around you weren't so prejudiced.
@@artlinsartuls on point. As a non white person, I constantly struggle to dismantle the stereotypes about blonde girls in my head. I always feel like they're unapproachable or think they're better than everyone else. We learn this nonsense from a young age through subtle messaging in TV shows, cartoons and movies. I'm trying though, because I know what stereotypes are like, and no one should be judged just because they happen to look like a stereotype created by other humans 😊
@@malaikakhan28 Totally agree! Glad to know you're trying your best to get rid of stereotypes, to be honest is weird to have "settings" of how we should think about others based on how they look.
@@artlinsartuls absolutely. It's ridiculous.
I can confirm the no catcall thing. I'm practically invisible and it's great for my safety because I'm also really short. The only thing that sucks is every guy I've ever dated seems to think i want to hear how pretty I would look with longer hair.
Yup, that's the crux of the downsides. Women do just look better with longer hair, so people assume you're gay/crazy/naive when you do that.
@@hannah2048I actually think short hair looks elegant, classy, and cute on women. It really just depends on the face. But I’ve seen very ethereal women pull it off.
Bro yea! My ex bf told me to grow it out because I would “look so much hotter.” I dumped him and shaved it .. But it’s actually a fantastic barometer for which guys are seeing you, (as a person, who changes, and has feelings, just like they do) and which guys are seeing the chance to create their “hottest fantasy” .and people jump up and down and cry about having preferences and blah blah bla … but if that is the case, go and find a girl who already has the hair u like lol. Never understood why some people will get into a relationship/date someone and then seek to change the other person
You need to understand that men who will look at you that way are literally thinking 'yes, I'd use that body ' - wake up women, wake up!
As someone who had very long and noticeable curls their whole life I can confirm,- since I cut them people do treat me differently. Especially men, I am less noticed, less approached, and that’s actually exactly what I wanted! people are still interested in me, but it’s way more refined and sincere.
I feel stronger, more confident and less fragile/ dependent in a way.
So yep, can confirm: cutting your hair short, is a power move!
I think that's a very good point -- it's almost like a short haircut automatically filters out a lot of people.
So that if someone does happen to interact with you, they are actually sincere about the interaction & getting to know you as a *whole* person, as opposed to just hitting on you randomly as some object or an impulsive booty call.
100% agree , only difference is I feel as though I get looked at more now with short hair😂💔 that definitely wasn't what I was going for but could also possibly be because I'm more confident with short hair. It's crazy how a haircut can make all the difference
This whole thing makes you realize how wack society is
Right! This couldn’t be more true!
Same with boobs, man. Same with the boobs, yeah. Boobies rule the society. I'm waiting till Instagram will turn to porn web :))
How superficial society is…
Exactly yes
@@southernparadise9896yupp
It's really sad that people treat you so differently with shorter hair, but it's amazing that you've got more confidence now. 💗
The short hair really suits you, it just gives really bright, fun vibes!
I’ve had short hair most of my life and as a many guy friends told me: most men do not care about hair length. I buzzed my hair and was just as much cat called and received unwanted attention. It’s taken me covering my hair to be noticed less by unwanted male attention and wearing baggier clothes.
Ngl sometimes a girl having shorter hair can be an indicator that she may be into other girls. Some of those girls might have been flirting with you lol
I was thinking the same thing but I want to flirt with her either way😭 maybe I’m just gay on the low
@@lanabandzy9102 sounds like you're gay on the high. Lol.
dude that’s exactly what i thinking of.
I'll keep my hair long then 🙂
@@ms.pirate I mean you can usually tell from other things as well, but short hair can sometimes be a bit of a gay or bi vibe
Human behavior is so fascinating! Which can be a bad thing….But I’m glad your happy and confident. Your hair looks great!!
Im a guy who grew is hair out and men started being gentle and nice to me 💀😳😳
Hahaha 🤣
😂😂😂😂😅
🔥🔥🔥😍
As someone who's also had a pixie cut, long hair, black, purple, blue; can confirm.
I get treated different with different hairstyles.
I definitely noticed this too when I cut off all my hair too. Now wayyyyy less random men come up to me. They fear me now, and honestly that was the goal all along. I’ll be keeping the short hair forever 🤣
That has nothing to do with your hair! I have naturally curly red hair to my tailbone & get told repeatedly, by those finally brave enough to speak, that I’m intimidating… as in pretty, the way I carry myself, etc. They’re not afraid of you. They just don’t care to pay attention to you.
@@poppinincolumbus5027 lol weird thing to say, I see so many ratchet looking girls with long hair. 😂 a girl with shorter hair can come steal the show from a girl with one length hair anyday. It’s more about the face and body. Js.
@@kayla7562 Who said anything about one length? Nothing ratchet here. Hair, face, nor body… tho hair is the topic. If it’s long, healthy, & thick… it’s going to get more attention than short hair. 🙃 All other factors equal, most men prefer long hair. That’s just a fact.
"They fear me now" ❤️❤️❤️ If you like to read, check out "When Women Were Dragons".
Thanks for sharing this. To someone who is often ignored and rarely catcalled, it’s validating.
Same on the ignoring but Idc.
Long hair gives you the glam girly look which can bring out insecurities in women, while short hair gives you a fierce, “I don’t rely on my femininity to get things done” vibe which demands respect from both genders imo.
Well said
Not for me. I can only look at that hairstyle and think it doesn't suit her much plus the earnings are more visible and don't suit her face shape. As simple as that.
I love this
@@caddieohm7059 That’s because you have low self esteem and view other women as your competition. They don’t see you as their competition, though, which is why you are so determined to find some minor fault with their physical appearance.
@@pocketsoup8338 you might be right. But I don't put myself outthere for people to comment. What is expected for a comment? Just agreement and more sugar cubes. Her video is literally suggesting a discussion.
This is what I try to tell my attractive friends all the time. People treat u completely different. The amount of times my friend (who is super hot) will say “omg that person was so nice” and I(who is a 3 at best) will say “they were an ass to me” is uncountable.
Yes. Men used to say disgusting and suggestive things to me when I kept my hair long. Pigtails were not an option because they look like "handles". I became so tough that men were afraid to say such things to me for fear of most certain consequences. But that's not a good place to be in either. Medium-length works for me. Medium levels of attractiveness, joy, anger. Keeping everything in the middle means people hate me less.
Kind of joking. Kind of not.
As a girl maybe the reason we’re nicer is because deep down we all want to cut our hair short like that but hardly anyone has the balls. It looks so good on your face shape you should keep it short
Fr!! Maybe it’s like seeing someone comfortable when not conforming to long hair standards and being happy? Like they look like a more open person cuz of the confidence in non conformity
Fr!! Maybe it’s like seeing someone comfortable when not conforming to long hair standards and being happy? Like they look like a more open person cuz of the confidence in non conformity
FR ONG 💀😭 I really want a pixie cut but I'm ugly af so it would look really bad on me especially bc I have a 5-head 💀
@@ferociouslioness I thought the same thing but then I decided to go for it and asked the hairdresser what would suit me and it turned out great :)
And even if it doesn’t you can grow it out again, it’s just hair
I know it’s scary af but it’s worth it!!
You got this 😊
@clara_hp6254 aww, thank you for the words of encouragement! I really appreciate it! 🩷💖But, unfortunately even my hairdresser said I wouldn't look nice with a pixie cut 🙁
A different look can change so much. I flip flop between extremely feminine hair, makeup, and styles, and punk/grunge hair, makeup, and clothing. People respond better to me when I present myself more femininely, though I tend to get talked over and not taken seriously. With the grunge/punk style they tend to avoid confrontation with me, and listen when I have something to say. They walk around me on footpaths, instead of expecting me to. But that said, I have learned to use my appearance and mannerisms to manipulate situations to be in my favour.
Pls tell us more :)
Yup...I've had short hair since I was 14 (I'm 49) it sends the message that you're not afraid to stand out, really comfortable with your looks/face, that you are assertive but it does give you a bit more authority, credibility and also...there are tons of men who go nuts for a pretty face, graceful neck and short hair...
As someone that went from long hair to short hair:
This is very true. I have been straight up told to my face that I "looked more innocent and pretty" with long hair and when I cut it all off I looked "more mature and determined and could fend for myself"
yes, it's rooted in mysoginistic stereotypes unfortunately :/ I wish it wasn't but in western patriarchal culture it's the case. If I were a dude I'd still want 2.5ft long hair but I'm a chick... I HATE the bias, at least if I were a guy I'd get some male privilege with my side of cave person jokes 🤣 I'd lose points for having fem hair but least that privilege would kick in a little bit xP
@@katatonic726 1st, it has nothing to do with "mysoginistic stereotypes", the appearance of someone, especially the changeable aspects, sends some vibes about that person, creating expectations in the subconscious of others. It has nothing to do with hating women to be called mysoginistic. It also involves observing appearance patterns among different social groups and associating the appearance with general attributes of said groups
Secondly, what you seem to overrate what you call as "male priviledge", assuming that said thing actually exists. If it does, either you're exagerating or I still haven't found where's mine.
It’s not relevant how other people see you it’s how you see yourself. When you look in the mirror you need to like what you see. That’s the only thing that matters.
I had the opposite experience. Men would always compliment me and my hair when I had pixie cuts. With long hair I feel invisible. 🤷♀️.
Same. I had a pixie for 12 years. Got complimented ALL the time. Then I grew it out for my wedding, and no one has complimented me in 3 years. I feel invisible and boring with medium length hair. HATED long hair. I’m planning on getting it cut short again. People took me more seriously and women loved my short hair!
It's strange how different life can be just because of a different haircut
I mean, I don't know what happened here, but this cut looks like there was no real care or thoughtfulness for aesthetics put into it and it looked great before, so.... 🤷🏼♀️
As a plus size woman, I got cat called almost non stop with short hair. It was fking weird. I made friends more easily, too. Now with 4 foot long hair Im lucky if someone makes eye contact. It's probably because it sharpened your features and brought out your eyes so they're forced to reexamine how they approach you. For me, short hair softens my features.
People like expected me to not have emotions when I had short hair, I felt like I was forced to step into my masculine energy more than was natural for me so I have long hair now 😊
That's so true. I used to have long hair and when I chopped it women were much nicer to me and ppl took me more seriously. It helped me with my confidence and now I am growing my hair long again. I'm taking that same confidence and rocking my long hair. I now notice women are still nice to me and the ones that aren't are not worth my time. I love the feminine feeling of long flowy hair.
As an otherwise pretty femme -looking person, I can say the hair makes a huge difference. The whole time my hair's been short, I've never been catcalled/rarely get male attention from ppl at my school, and I've also found that sometimes old ppl treat you weird. One time I had a guy tell me my hair was "horrible", then just walk away ┐(´ー｀)┌
Looks matter so much when it comes to how others treat you. I have had short hair and long hair, I’ve been thin and fat, I’ve had grey hair and dyed hair (first grey at 14), I’ve had corporate jobs I dressed up for and non profit jobs where I wore jeans. I’ve been the same person being and doing all of these things but based on the way I get treated it’s like I’m 10 different people!
It is ridiculous how much men care about hair.. while most of them start to get bald after their 30 years of age.
But if they DONT CARE about your hair,you at least know you have a good one.
So..it is kind of a way to see who the REAL MEN are...that like you for YOU,not your 'hair' and all that superficial stuff😘
It is a good way to tell the difference between 'boys' from the 'men'.
This is so true!! I miss my short hair, people treat you with so much more respect. Humans are strange. Unfortunately as a person of colour it's quite expensive to keep getting it cut :( (in my area anyway) so I've had to let it grow again. I like my long hair too, but I really felt like myself so much more with it short, probably mostly because then I get treated the way I actually want to be treated.
I had long hair my entire life too and I had no choice but to have short hair now. This resonates! Thank you! I needed to hear this!
I had a botched bleach job that fried my hair for a show I was doing and had to get it cut as well after having long hair for most of my life. I had a hard time at first, but I kept getting angry at how many men (teachers, baristas, and just dudes on my campus) who felt the need to tell me I looked better before…meanwhile I’m like “I’m sorry I missed the part where I asked for your freaking opinion??”. what by would push me over the edge is when they looked at me like they were studying me like an object making a disapproving face. I knew my hair would grow, but some folks are walking around with the audacity out there.
Men always have and always will have the audacity.
Be thankful this was your lesson and don’t let it get to you.
I've also had long hair my entire life. I have cut it shoulder length but that was always it. Back in 2018 I had to shave my head due to my skin condition Psoriasis. I needed to be able to let the skin breath and also it made applying the medicated cream way easier! I was working a security job with my husband. This random guy who was working on the work site I was guarding comes up and says " I prefer you with longer hair hon cause you're not pretty now that you've got no hair..." I literally looked at him and said I HAVE a HUSBAND you dick! Also I needed to shave my head and it's none of your business! Some people really have some nerve. Also a lot of women started to call me Sir... Which annoyed me cause I'm a straight female. I swear people need to think before they speak. My hair is long currently but I want to cut it shoulder length lol.
People definitely treat me way better now that I grew back my hair from it being super short for a while. I wish it wasn't that way because I really miss my short hair.
Men hate you, women love you. You also get sooo many compliments (all from women) and these women always wanna be near you as a safe space more often. I love having short hair
I might've been the only one but after I buzzed my head guys started talking to me more, it seemed as if I was taken more seriously, and they started noticing me more in a romantic way than when I had long hair. With women I've had various approaches, some were more reluctant to talk to me and others were super nice and wished they could do the same
Both are beautiful and that’s also fucking tragic. I do notice a similar experience.
I had all my hair chopped off due to a miscommunication with my hairdresser once and honestly I never really turned it into a positive experience. I'm so happy for you that though it wasn't your intention to have to cut your hair, you were able to actually grow to feel more confident!
It took me ages to grow my long hair and am currently enjoying it. I couldn't care less about other women's insecurities its not my problem. Besides I don't really experience a lot of it, but then again I dress quite casual and don't wear a lot of makeup I guess that balances it out. Also nowadays when I'm out I'm mostly with my child and husband - that's probably another reason why! You can always tie your hair up too. Female jealousy and men being very visual is unfortunately quite common and we just need to learn to deal with it. If I ever do cut my hair short the reason will never be to please others.
Yes. Other people's insecurities should be the least of your concerns.
This is so true! Especially about the catcalling part. I feel much more confident outside now.
As someone who cut her hair short and straightened it, it made me feel a lot confident as well because the hair is the one last thing you'd worry about. It's definitely a different feeling and you get to feel like yourself with the people you know and feel especially comfortable who you still don't know
As a woman, I actually envy women with short hair, it takes so much courage, courage I'll never have. My receding chin makes me hide behind my hair so I've grown it down to my thighs.
I also thought I would never be one of these people who cut their own hair, and here I am. Look what the pandemic did to me!
But much before that, I had my hair carefully trimmed short in the hairdresser.
It might look ugly (ngl it probably will look ugly until you find a style you like) but it's extremely liberating. Now I feel I could do anything I wanted to my hair.
My receding chin fellow! It's an insecurity of mine too, have you considered fillers?
@Windws 😊 I haven't! But, I've been reading about them. Have you?
@@maximilian9295 neither did I
Only women with good facial structure can rock a short hair . Most women look like potato with it .
You need to habe more angular face to rock that shii
Yep very accurate. I lost all my hair that used to be waist length and went from 90lbs to 200+ in literally less than 2 years. (Due to illness) If you think that's impossible then think again, it IS possible I LIVE it. I used to be able to strike conversations with strangers, people used to walk up to me just to chat, male and female (I'm female), I use to walk a length of road to my job and no exaggeration in that 5 minute walk alone I'd get commonly 2-3 catcalls and depending on my outfit/ updo or down do, up to 7-8. People would look at me and id smile, they'd compliment, id walk into a room and everyone would look. Now?? I feel completely invisible. I've had doors slammed in my face, I look at someone and they look away or grimace. Nobody will help me in stores, just yesterday I held the elevator for two different men two different instances and they literally said nothing or even made eye contact. And dear God, the doctors. Even knowing my medical history they treat me like a muddy pig eating outta a trough, such disgust and disdain. I used to work in the medical field up until about 20-21 when I became unwell. I lived for helping people, for conversations, friends, love, socializing. Now at 23 years old all my friends left me, my fiance of 7 years cheated on me last week, I work from home unable to leave my house because I feel disgusting. Due to organ damage my liver cannot process fats, sugar, salt etc. Leading to 5lbs weight gain every 2 weeks unless I eat nothing. If this happened gradually I could manage, but turning into a stranger in less than 2 years does a lot of damage to your body, mind, and self worth. Thanks for coming to my Ted-Talk.
That's really insightful! We're told not to judge by looks, but I think it's easy to do and not even realize it. It takes purposeful effort to treat everyone as evenly as possible.
Seeing that, I feel lucky to be in Germany. They don't care much about appearance. I went from being catcalled 50 times a day in Holland, whether I was wearing a dress or sweatpants to never overnight, only hitted on 3 or 4 times in the streets in 17 years. And I went from long hair to short a few times, people treated me the exact same way. Same with weight. I do see more interest from men within a certain range (neither too thin nor too fat) but people treat me the same regardless of my weight here, never ever had a comment from Germans on my weight, even when I gained 50lbs in 2 months due to hypothyroidism...I come from France and there would also be like for you I think, people judge a lot based on appearance...
I got short hair recently because of an epic layering fail and this is very accurate, although I do miss longer hair I'm tempted to keep it short because I feel much safer
This is so true, like people start treating you with more respect and kindness especially men. Its like I command good attention wherever I go, I don't if it's right but I feel good.
You look stunning. Honestly girls dont treat me better. And boys just think I look nasty. People always ask me why i did it and tell me " you dont wanna look like that you wanna grow your hair out " and im just like do i? Do i really its my hair
Hair is the glory of a woman, it is writen; therefore insecure women see you with jealousy when you have gorgeous hair, and compassionate women show consideration when you have short hair. Plus men see you less pretty so they don't see you as a person whom they will purposely win favor, but there is still men that are chivalrous even with your short hair... you see the effects of your glory being removed. Good thing is that it grows. The sad thing is to see the effects of a fallen world cohersing women into a "less feminine"(in my opinion long hair is very feminine) version of themselves. By the way your long hair is super gorgeous and admirable. Do not let a toxic society be a determinant factor to not grow it again. You rock both styles, by the way. And you decide what to do.
I believe that men will treat you more as a human being if you have long hair because 1. They aren’t attracted to you and 2. Short hair is associated with masculinity. Women also treat women with short hair with more respect since they no longer see them in a competitive level. Not all women are attracted to men or want to attract them, so they escaped the toxic femininity bubble.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I had short hair all my life against my will and long hair for me symbolizes taking the control back in my own hand. With that said, it’s so interesting that I can now understand why all of sudden I had much more insecure females around me and guys felt they could dominate me. I couldn’t understand it but now it starting to all make a little bit more sense.
I have naturally blonde hair, really light blonde. For a while I dyed it red, and people absolutely do treat you differently! Men and women alike.
How they changed?
Sorry to tell this but girls are nicer because having short hair is still less a beauty standard than having long gorgeous hair… so they probably feel less in « beauty »competition or see you as a « danger » to their confidence/ beauty or even male attention… sorry if I am harsh but it often is the reality, the female competition is ugly.
You still look so god and beautiful, your face features really pop out ! Love your reels ! Love the good vibes you give ! Xoxo
yeah i think she got it?
Nope, that’s just men projecting the stereotypical look they prefer onto women they don’t know and making assumptions.
Women are jealous of other women who don’t seek external validation from strangers and have the self-confidence to do what they want when they want, like cut off all their hair if they feel like it. They get jealous of the self-confidence of women who live life on their own terms.
That’s what I was thinking, toxic positivity is so common with insecure women (im a woman)
You look so beautiful, it brings out your eyes
I think it's also how you carry yourself. When my hair was short it made me carry myself differently because I felt differently... I walked taller and more assertive because I wanted to own my new look. I was going into the medical field so I wanted to have easy to wash hair and be less appealing to men... Which by the way didn't help... Lol but I was more intimidating to everyone in a professional way. Everyone thought I had all the answers even though I was just faking it until I made it. 😅 It helps to feel that confidence though. It worked. Short hairs been calling me again, but I love playing with my long hair.
I dyed my hair pink and worked like gangbusters. The strangers quit being weird. Ladies warm up to me faster , and men lighten up and relax their physical stance.
I was made fun of as it stood out a mile. I have it long.
Most sane straight females and male will puke when they see a pink haired woman
I guess it depends on your goals. I have a hair disorder which means it's short & thin. I have an identical twin sister who has long hair to her butt & yea, I definitely have a complex over how us identical people got treated so differently over our lives.
I got so tired of people asking if I was her mom (she's 1 minute older than me) or men wanting her & coming to me only when she turned them down. So now I wear long hair wigs, so I can feel young & beautiful instead of being treated as old & ugly.
I was made to wear a pixie haircut until fifth grade because my parents didn't want to deal with my fine hair and tender scalp. Once I was allowed to grow it out, I have never been willing to give it up. It was down to my waist in November and I cut about half of it off. So it's still long but I am enjoying it a little bit shorter for ease of care. I wear my hair for myself. Not for anybody else. I'm 62, and I probably get looks that I wouldn't without the hair. But once they figure out I'm not some young thing they leave me alone anyway. 😂
I'm 50 and I shaved my head because it was so damaged and I got way too much attention from men.....too much cat calling. I'm 7 months growth and I was shocked at the positive reaction I've gotten. I got asked out so much and dated too;)
She's so pretty.
The short hair gives her a sassy vibe, I like it.
When I got followed home after work and attacked outside my house, several people told me it was because my hair was “too beautiful” and ever since then, I always wear it up in a bun. Every day. That’s my only hair style now.
My god, ppl are stupid smh
😡💔
NEVER Drive home if you think you're being followed maam.. 😊
To confirm always make three rights, then alert the authorities..
@@myman8336
Maybe she didn't realize she was being followed.
Assaulted because your hair was "too beautiful"?!?! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 What the fuck is wrong with those people?!? That's the same as blaming an assault on the way the victim was dressed! It's absolute bullshit, it's victim blaming, and it's wrong. The blame lies ONLY on the attacker.
i spent my teen years with a short, boyish cut and never received misogynistic catcalls. i did, however, once receive homophobic abuse from a random bloke on the street.
i feel you. i had the same experience. cut my hair in my early 30s just to get away from that image and break the invisible but very real bubble it put me in. The most insane thing for me was that i felt women were having similar reactions to men and kinda saw me as some sort of idea or ideal rather than a normal human being. adding to this the fact that i have always been skinny and watched my weight, it made for a powerful combo i guess. overall, it made me feel less of a human being in my everyday interactions.
when i cut my hair, people in my life had a real hard time accepting it, some got upset and barely looked at me. it was a surreal, strange experience.
Now i feel free and beautiful and more myself than ever and the people that appreciate me now are the kind that are less superficial.
People in general are hypocrites most of the times 🤦 with long hair or short hair you look great 👸
Oh yeah. She looks gorgeous with either length of hair.
I had short hair once and in a country where it’s considered strange, I went out and people started pointing, whispering and laughing
same i experienced that too now
I have long hair down to my booty and I love it. Tbh I've never cared for short hair on myself I love long hair and that's it. If you choose to cut your hair I'll support that decision there is nothing wrong with it.
I had short hair all through high school and it absolutely changes everything about the way you exist in the world. Guys lost almost all interest in me but girls were flirting with me constantly. Was absolutely stellar, except the part where I got misgendered all the time.
Girls with short hair sometimes hotter then girls with long hair
good for you for learning and keeping an open mind during this horrible experience!
I have a pixie cut, and have same experience... I wonder if it has to do with the fact that our faces and eyes are more seen. 🤷 People can see our facial expressions more openly.
You think so? Nah. People with long hair who wear it in a tie still don't get treated like they have it open I think.
Cut my long princess hair short for the first time a while back to about chin length and got nothing but positive feedback from both men (one guy told me it was giving Elle Woods vibes lmao) and women! it was incredibly fun since it’s was less work to take care of and fun to style, and my mom mentioned she could see my face for the first time lol. So yeah I think the combo of seeing face more+ stereotype of the short haired girl boss makes ppl respect/engage with you more than they otherwise would. Also think the “independent” look is what scares the catcaller misogynists away, since they’ll interpret it through their skewed thinking as you being gay or “too dominant” and feel threatened