Don’t Let Them Take You for Granted I Robert Greene
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2024
- Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and most recently, The Daily Laws.
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If u stop calling and they don't call. You have your answer
What happens if I messed up when texting tho, because she seemed really interested in person
@@oscar-wi3tjDepends on what you said I guess, but honestly...if one subpar text makes them not interested, I'd move on
@@user-qh6ii7qt6m I triple texted instantly replying back to her, but also forgot to answer her questions. Then she hasn't replied 😔
@@oscar-wi3tj I'd say you're just over-stressing it honestly! Shoot your shot, play it calm, and if they like it, they like it. You can't control how they feel, it's better to spend your energy concerning yourself with improving yourself! Conversation skills, physique, mindset, etc. Wish you luck with future love interests, man!
@@user-qh6ii7qt6m yeah I think your right, thanks man ❤️
The key here is them liking you enough to take the step. Some people will try this and the other person will never contact them again
Which is great as well cuz u will know if they really care about u
You two are geniusly correct 🧠
Yep, and those people are no longer friends in my life. Good riddance.
True
Disagree. Every situation is different.
Best thing is when you both pursue. It's best feeling in world
I guess so.
It’s more like a dance that requires rhythm.
@@ShadaeMastersAstrologyall dance requires rhythm 😂
Yes!
Well it is. Each person has to take a turn being the Gardener and the garden.
The idea is to have something going on with your life. Get busy building your life so you won’t need to act busy and create the illusion of absence.
YES!!
Big facts.
true
Absolutely. Purpose over everything!
I feel like all these "tips" from this dude are unnecessary and just naturally happen with confident and self-loving people. Like if you are focused on your own needs and goals you won't have time or desire to chase other people
People go for value.. same goes for your presence.. so make your time, effort, attention,.. valuable.
Best comment in here.
Exactly
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
💃🏽
False 😂😂 my heart gets over it 😂😂😂
You have to navigate that carefully. Absence doesn’t mean no contact EVER or not meeting. It means reduced contact. As in meeting someone who takes you for granted once a week, instead of 5 days a week. That is only IF they take you for granted. Meeting someone, who puts in mutual effort, 5 times a week, is absolutely okay and encouraged. Read the words carefully and understand the concept.
It ONLY applies when someone takes you for GRANTED. Not when they put in mutual effort. It doesn’t apply when you first meet someone because you don’t know the person. Nor does it apply when dating because the man typically pursues the woman.
People think it means NO contact ever and cutting people off. It doesn’t and that’s a dangerous approach. Because extracting yourself out of an equation by not being physically or emotionally present, makes people used to living without you which is the opposite of making them appreciate, respect or love you.
If they can’t see you, message you, call you or meet you, then you’re not a part of their joy, laughter, memories or support system. You’re practically dead to them. That’s how distance makes people fall apart.
The important part of this is that you dont sit around doing nothing, waiting for them to miss you and text you back. You should be doing important things, having hobbies, working on your own skills and development which in turn takes up your time in the meantime. That makes you admirable that yo8 have other things going on, and at the end of the day, seeing your loved ones after a long day makes it that much sweeter.
Most people have jobs. They are employed. Unemployed people are unattractive. Period. They’re never half as busy as they claim. Everyone and their neighbour knows that.
That's why I prefer to remain single. I'm exhausted from deciphering mind games and dealing with a lack of communication. I crave a genuine man who can communicate openly and honestly. I prefer straightforwardness, even if it's harsh, over wasting time. In the past, I've stayed loyal to men who didn't value me and were unfaithful. For me, communication, natural connection, authenticity, acceptance, and avoiding resistance are essential.
Keep Moving
When you are on a road
Driving no lights
You have to stop listen when the other car comes slowly or fast
Them you move.
Constant
Text and constant calling
DOES NOT ALLOW THE OTHER
PERSON TO THINK
ABOUT AN ANSWER.
MAYBE THEY WANT TO WRITE
A POEM,BUSY OR THEY ARE JUST NOT EMTIONALY AVAILABLE
MOVE DO YOUR DAILY LIVING
AND REST. THEM
ACCEPT 2HAT EVER COMES
YOU ARE NOT THE OWNER
OF THE OTHER.
All I can say is, if someone doesn't appreciate your time and effort, care and love, attention and initiative, leave. Don't even think of playing this game. It's not worth it, because it will just keep happening like a toxic cycle.
Exactly...love should not be a cat and mouse chase
⭐️Be yourself, be happy, no games, have fun, no regrets. ❤️
Yes..I learned to create distance. It changed nothing and now I want to create even more distance and absence on a more permanent basis.
I have had enough of all the games, and the 'values' which certainly do not match my own.
And painful too
My thoughts exactly, when does the game end.
Love is not a power play. It's a sweet emotion that overrides all ego moves. To bring people together organically not strategically.
Most people however have psyches that are too primitive to get this . Dogs get this !
Agree with you. Love 💕 isn’t a game. One thing that I learned this past few years is to love yourself first, have a purpose in life, make a difference in the world 🌎 and don’t chase love, let it find you when the time is right. I matured a lot in 4 years thank God for that! I don’t like relationship dramas and games, it’s a wasting of life!
Are you a baby are you using your grade school Big feelings? Love is duty honor and respect. That goofy rambling you are doing is from movies.
🤣🤣 the world doesn't work that way
@@beatrizwood3587Love has nothing to do with timing. Nothing. You can meet 10 loving men. The world is filled with good men.
When it’s someone you really click with tho, there is no getting bored of them. After 15 years with my SO, I have yet to feel bored of his attention, or really, our connection. He is my favourite person by miles and there is no such thing as too much time with him. When it’s someone you really mesh with, games like these seem pointless and hurtful. If that connection isn’t there tho, I suppose it could help keep the relationship alive, but I don’t think I’d wanna settle for anything less
Wow what a great comment! I hope your relationship will forever stay that way!!
Yes 😊I’ve been there and it’s a precious gift ❤😊❤
That is rare. More power to you. Wish you both the best!
Adorable. ✨
It doesn’t keep the relationship alive. Some people are just immature and don’t play their cards right. When they don’t get what they want, they feel rejected. They want to feel powerful by playing games but it only ends up with them wasting more time, than the time they wasted doting on someone who didn’t like them.
Because the time they spend to concoct a plan about getting even and playing games, is time taken away from moving on and the longer they’ll take to truly move on, which means that they’re being led by rejection.
Them playing games is them trying to feel powerful but it all stems from a sense of loss of power. The longer they stay in that phase mentally, the longer they’ll take to move on. It’s a vicious cycle. You can’t become respected or valued by playing games.
Playing games to seek validation from someone who didn’t give you the time of the day, is a waste of time. They don’t channel their emotions constructively. Getting a call or text by someone who took you for granted, isn’t the same as being respected, valued or loved. Playing games never leads to a meaningful relationship. It’s deceptive, malicious and egoistic.
The only self respecting way is to MOVE ON completely, whatever that means for you, as an individual. Different strokes for different folks.
I think this can be applied to any relationship with people around us. Over extending oneself leads to being taken for granted...
No more playing small - it's all about self-empowerment!
Narcissists will never chase back. And if they do they are doing it just to get you back to the point you were at before, then repeat
That’s not at all true. Narcs pursue - heavely and love-bombingly in my experience.
@@Christins29 yes, to get you to the point where they want you, as far as I can tell. Then you pull away they do it again cycle reapets
@@Christins29yes love bombing only when they don't have you. Once they have you they will wrap you around their finger and use you over and over, manipulate you so you think they pursue you 😂 its just an illusion. They make you do it by manipulation
@@Christins29 Narcs will lovebomb in the beginning but there comes a point where they've gotten you to drop your guard and fallen under their spell - that's when they start being abusive.
@@Rendell001so true!
Laws of power, art of seduction, mastery. He knows what he’s talking about.
Yes💃🏽
"create some absence" is one of the key ingredients to compose a beautiful melody. Musician called it Phrasing, the intended pause among musical notes run. Make the song like a story telling.
Yes!! Also dancing. We don’t even dance anymore like we used to. ❤
You know i see it differently. I go after someone If i think they are worthy and compatible. Thats it. I dont like power games in a relationship. If they act differently than from the start I change my behaviour by becoming more cold. I dont think about strategizing my actions. Its always authentical.
Why change your behavior? If you expect them to change themselves after they wont
@@JamesLupe-wi5jd i change my behaviour for them to see that i dont tolerate certain things. I dont expect them to change. Of course i acompany my change of behaviour with words that indicate it. But talking alone was never effective
He is right once more. This is important. That little space you create should cause a longing in them, and they should reach out to you. It’s a delicate balance and absolutely works.
This is a true fact. Too much of anything becomes troublesome. Just keep the balance.
I agree, except these games will only get you so far. If you find yourself having to play these mental gymnastics more often than not, you're likely not barking up the right tree in the first place. Plus, the novelty of any new relationship is bound to wear off. It's the law of nature. The dust settles, and that is when the real dynamic and real emotions come to the fore. So whenever I step into a new dynamic/'ship', I actively AIM to get that novelty/aura of mystery/excitement to fizzle out so that we are able to see past the haze of heightened emotions. After all, that's all it boils down to several years down the line.
Well said!
Whats the rush? Enjoy the honeymoon phase. Life is short. It's about quality.
@@mrtwister9002 If the honeymoon phase is AFTER you've taken a rational decision, then there's indeed no rush. However, if it's during the dating process, then charged emotions associated with honeymoon phase will lead to clouded judgment and emotionally driven decisions.
What Robert is referring to sounds like something in a new relationship when a dynamic is still being decided, and during that phase is when emotions are best kept at bay. That can only be accomplished when the high of novelty has worn off.
I totally agree.
Yes, push for rejection / find the boundaries fast to see what you got. No point in a staged play.
Unbalanced relationships are not relationships regardless of where the unbalance moves. Over time the game loses the interest of both individuals. This is good advice for revealing the truth that a relationship does not exist.
It is very nice to have a mutual care & attention. Each one is chasing the other one. This is true frienship or love. Give & take. Recive & send ...
No, that's not what's happening in practice. When the man starts chasing, the women loses interest, she thinks the guy doesn't have options or that he became pussy whipped. And relationships vanishes. Women want to have monopoly on the chasing and adoration act. They expect from men to only reflect that energy once the woman shows it first. And not the other way around
@@mco4972 what you are talking about is wounded feminity & wounded masculine. I am talking about healed feminine & masculine, huge difference. I want exchange, energy transfer. Too much chasing is not normal & getting used to recive without giving back, is very depleting & exhausting...
Push and push back. I like that
OK but what people ALWAYS GET WRONG about this Is they go way too far in one direction or way too far the other direction. Think of it like a temperature scale. You don’t want to be too far to one side cuz you’ll freeze to death, too far to the other side and you’ll be burned alive… you’re looking for that nice sweet spot in the middle, like when your bedroom is that perfect temperature and it’s super easy to fall asleep cuz your not shivering or sweating. Don’t go into full chase mode cuz they’ll lose interest/respect, but don’t freak out and go full ignore mode because then they’ll up and move on. Ideally theyll want you the same as you want them, love you the same as you love them, put in the same effort etc AND THEYLL SHOW IT. When you love more but they refuse to meet you in the middle (often due to fear or narcissism, or even because they’re straight up not that into you and just using you cuz they’re lonely) that’s when relationships turn abusive. So find someone who will love you as much as you love them, that will treat you as kindly as you treat them… someone that will meet you IN THE MIDDLE! Where it’s not too hot and not too cold.
I dont know about this whole power thing but i appreciate those friends who call me frequently because i usually am not in the mood to reach out too often then when so much time passes i overthink it and dont call at all. But with those people who reach out often, too often even, eventually i call those friends back and keep in touch more often than i normally would and that's been good for me. I don't think less of them. I admire them for their generosity and humanity to think of me and being willing to connect with other humans so much.
You are an extreme narcissist, why don't you call?
He is speaking on folks new In relationships who go overboard. I’ve had that happen to me. She would Come over every single day, but after a while you feel smothered. And then they get hurt if you want a day off.
Something strange happens in us when it’s too easy. We get lazy. Don’t try hard. Even if we like the person. It’s strange. People are strange
But it's clear You are not the caller type and those Friends worry about You, but if You are the caller type and You don't do it with someone that someone should step back.
" Amen "
I learned this lesson painfully.
Same bro but it is what it is 🤜🤛
This goes for any kind of relationship. Even your appearance online. Whether you create music or any kind of content. If you post all the time, people will get board of you. You’re too predictable. Learn the balance of presence and absence. It creates that aura of mystery and will keep your audience (and friends and lovers) more drawn to you. This isn’t a tactic to manipulate, it’s a tactic of self control and respect.
bored
@@doc2b2014 Ligma
Thank you I needed this ❤
Of course it is manipulation 😅
@@Eirene628 you can view it however you want, but it’s the truth. Drawing back creates attraction
The one who loves the least in a relationship has the most power
Human nature sucks, but he's right. When people are not treating me correctly, I will step away.
OMG!I think you have saved my life! Lifted off my sadness and stoped me from being used and disrespect. I am my children’s doormat.
I used what he said with my siblings. If I don't call I never hear from them. Time to respect myself.
Yes , I thought the same, I try to spread my self to thin, going to my parents then my children every weekend, and never a thought fir by self, and they still complain, where have you been, I thought you would be here by now. But now I tell the , and say, how about you coming to me, once in a while .😊
It saddens me that most people are like that. I'm simply not willing to play such games with people. Create "absence" or manipulate them in any way for them to perceive my value.
If my value is not visible to them while I'm present, then I just move on. No time for games, or idiots who take others for granted. Nobody is for granted.
I've had so many people in my life coming and apologising for their shit months or even years after, and my answer is always the same: "you should have appreciated it when you had it. Take care"
Unfortunately, life is a game, especially nowadays. You need to know how to play it in staying who are. Remember you are playing different role in your family, your work, etc. Especially if you want to protect your children, you hide certain thing you are doing to keep them safe.
Babe, life is not only about you.
@@putrik6498 It will never be only about me and I don’t mean that. I just point out a fact we’re living.
If they're easily bored by your presence, no need to keep them, you want one who actually likes you without these games
What about communication???? This is how some relationships can end stupidly. Just let your needs be known and if the other person doesn't respond accordingly, respect yourself and leave.
He is speaking of something more delicate. It’s not what you think. It’s very effective.
If you want to end up lonely and alone, listen to this man
😂😂😅😮
Exactly what i needed to hear
Power games a never ending seesaw of bull****
Robert Greene is my spirit animal. ❤😅
Mirror their actions by making equal amount of effort
I’m not into the whole power and control thing however I understand the context of what is being said. Place value on you and the things that make you happy and healthy. Dumping all of your time and attention on another is not the move. A good person may smell your insecurity and run, a bum will bleed you dry. Be mindful.
It's calling having dignity. But there are people that are not the calling type or you know they are going through stuff, call them or text them.
Especialy if they are going through stuff.
Key words honor and respect
it is logic, when you are confident and happy you attract people, when you are insecure and needy they run away, because they don't like that energy, nothing new
At some level yes, but not every two people are compatible, even with confidence and happiness
I like the exact opposite of it. An available lovely partner.
If the person takes your company for granted. They just don’t like you enough.
This is so true , been there done that
One thousand percent. Authenticity is the key.
You must feel valued in an important relationship...or, you don't have one.
How to play games with people you like and love: step one: withhold love 😂😂😮
Absence makes the heart ❤️ grow fonder comes to mind
I stopped communication since we're just friends. Didn't contact for some days. All of a sudden phone calls, messages, texts, wants to plan dates etc. Me, I'm in my corner minding my own business. I let that go. He's his own problem now.
Ive stepped back. Learning to respect myself more.
I often did this subconsciously to girls growing up, and I never had an issue getting a date for anything.
Oddly enough, I did this because of some childhood trauma I hadn't dealt with yet. It just took me a while to warm up to someone who liked me.
They always thought I was playing hard to get, and in my mind, I was just being cautious. Girls love it, especially if they already think you're at least kind of cute. My experience.
Unfortunately, this is the way the love game is working but this is not applied for the true love shared by 2 persons.
This applies to work as well. I have experienced first hand.
just dont play games and manipulate. youre going to have a bad time and life will turn you upside down. karma will drag you to her doorstep and bind you instead lol.
just listen to your inner guidance. everything in your authentic self flows harmoniously to life.
I love Robert’s work Brilliant man❤
🙏Absolutely true!!
Gracias Roberto por tu confianza y tu respetos
1. Our absence should not teach the other to be better without us. Then Game Over!
2. When to step back and how long is also important.
3. I usually step back by letting the other know that I am busy for two or three weeks. This way they know, but still miss me. They always get back in two or three weeks to check on me.
Nah. I asked them point blank would i never hear from you if i didn't text first and their deafening silence is all i needed to know that I'm watering a dead plant. F*ck that.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
YES, I AGREE. THANK YOU
Thank you Robert Greene! I appreciate your advice and work so much.
That goes for friends and family not only for love
True
Percieved value
Real recognise real.
Amen amen amen 😊
TRUTH 🙏
This is so true.
Such an important rule to follow
Especially for women..
The point here is honor and respect.
You pull back they come forward. But what if they know the game? Then they will pull back and this cyclical exhausting dance begins.
If she cares for you and you care for her... Non of this is valid... There's no power play, it's just love... Without judgement and calculations... 🤷... If you live by this you might create imaginary boundaries outside of love.
Exactly, I was crazy about my guy then I realized I’m the one he should pursue and when I stopped texting and calling then realized I’m the prize. He started calling and being more consistent but that was not my intention. I was infatuated with the idea of him and now I’m not phased . When I began knowing that I am the prize and now he treat me as such,
I truly embrace this concept.
Well this sounds correct with my grandchildren but not so much with adults.
I have just realized that this is the man that I read his book since many years ago and it was the book that I kept in my mind always, I thought he is a psychiatrist when I saw him on UA-cam
Pull back only when there's a glimmer of desire. Then hold back and let the desire grow. Then go back in with more force.
Thank you
Appreciate your help and encouragement. I need to distance myself from this narcissistic person again.
Guys one small tip
Introverts will never call you. But if theyre interested in you, they will text
Could be something simple, but as long as they initiate you can be sure they are interested
This is law. You have to use absence, get peace of mind, do my own hobbies, enjoy and focus on choosing the decisions that make me happy.
Great advice doc ❤ I love you man,no ho'mo no ho'mo ❤💫
Keep it light
This is 100% spot on
I use a different tactic, I give them that power by doing lots of runnings, and when I decide to pull the plug, they suffer for not longer having that power they thought they acquired
His first words sure help me let go likema mutual.. specially when I have great soul as my friend
That's so true.
Absolutely true
So true- if the other person is toxic
Good point
If they create too much absence and distance then I take it as a sign they don’t really care. It’s a balance. Some absence makes me want to reach out but too much makes my walls go up. I do find I want the man to pursue because I don’t want to give too much power to him.
Sooooo true!!!!!
Yes agreed...some ppl do this distance as a manipulation tactic. Just be loving to SELF which is source energy and in time you'll see how you weren't calling the right ONES anyway. Lean back. Be free. Be happy. Someone else will come towards you. It's not who you think. They ARE THEE VERY BEST. With this one, you already have everything.
Love your work Sir. Thank you ⭐️. Blessings to you and your family all-ways.
✨️✨️✨️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨️✨️✨️
Valkyrie aka Aries
This is platinum
Very true. Glad to hear this. I.needed to kmow for sure. They do take you.for granted.
Robert Greene has put in the time to study this for many years, respect it.
I swear, I'm more interested in he's podcast then he's books
Thank you this is very nice, mutual love mutual respect value create honor & respect Great msg.
This is very true
A reallly importend advice for life
Experienced this first hand. Lesson learnt.
Boundaries and self respect and you also learn to appreciate and enjoy the time more. Make yourself a prize if you will. Long term gratification, no longer instant.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I forgot who said it though.
Yes, that works naturally, but you have to be willing to let go.