When an aborted fetus tries to get into Heaven
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
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We'll just assume this is getting demonetized, so get God's mug here! www.zachstarshop.com/listing/gods-mug-philippians
I think that’s a safe assumption!
Demonetization speedrun completed in the title.
I know a comment is not as valueable as a mug... but this video was a gem... as always.
Thank you.
What a chad
Cuz religious people gonna get mad lol
Imagine showing up to heaven’s gates and realizing you skipped to the last cut scene before you could even start the game.
professional speedrunning tactics
Congratulations you have the world's speed run record sadly I am willing and able to send you to hell
That's a big time save but won't be accepted in the glitchless run category
He wrong warped by doing frame perfect kicks to subconsciously influence his mother to abort him.
Used ACE to wrongwarp through the womb exit straight to the credits
'I don't make the rules' has to be god's favourite line
God's and UA-cam CEO's favourite line*
I always see that line coming.
Mose’s lawyer was like he doesn’t make the rules and that’s how mose sinned and still got into heaven
Someone ask God 'Who made the rules then?'
To be fair this is often part of theistic arguments. Essentially that there are rules God is bound to in some way. I've actually seen atheists come at it from a different angle to say if God exists there would be certain universal laws applying to him, like the laws of logic.
the whole "I don't make the rules -> yes you do" never stops being hilarious
Ong😂
having sins before not being born is crazy
It's Religions way of controlling the masses.
The whole religion is crazy
@@SkinnyEatWorld95 yes it is....and it's been that way since the beginning.
Most people are dumb and easily controled.
@@SkinnyEatWorld95 thank you for those words of wisdom, "skinny eat world 95"
It's a convenient ruse. Also probably satisfies the (subconscious) search for guidance.
The fact that the fetus did not have the original sin implies that despite aborting him, his mum still had him bapthised… somehow. What a wonderful, loving mother.
She just drank the holy water and UT eventually got to him through the umbilical cord
A priest blessed the water inside the womb, such as the mother is a vial of holy water with arms
you don't get original sin until after you're born
@@TornadicTitan17 Do you know why?
There's no such concept in our church, but you do you
The bait and switch on the slideshow was gold
He killed me with the "Koreans" 😅
Bakers?
fr
@@timmiller1bankers
Dogs being the first in the list of beings that go to heaven is an indisputable fact.
Rare God W.
I mean they wouldnt have made 2 movies about it if it wasnt true
What about cats? They might be evil, but they aren't mega-church pastor evil
@@user-ns4st9ls7ycats aren’t evil, I know you’re making a joke, but in case you’re not, animals can’t be evil and there has been cases of cats saving their owners lives
@@boredguy6970I'm pretty sure the Bible says all animals are soulless and therefore cannot have an afterlife
The real unfairness is that interracial couples get into heaven but racially ambiguous people don't. Like who caused who
don't complain, at least He got rid of the kardashians
@@DefNotHacks but the Kardashians are 90% interracial couples. Which rule has precedent then
@@coin5207 hey, he doesn't make the rules
@@coin5207 they're also 90% plastic, so do they really qualify as people?
@@coin5207most of them *were* interracial couples. Then the partners have mental breakdowns and leave. Since they don't stay in those interracial relationships and only use them for birthing/media purposes, then they don't qualify to get in. Also most of their "racial ambiguity is due to surgery and tanning lotions" not because they were born that way so it seems like a fair reason to not let them in.
Looks like he’s really trying to test the limits of what he can put in his titles lol
Lmao had the same thought the moment I saw it
He should callab with AI
At this point in Zachverse the God's most used catchphrase is "I don't make the rules", and it's like 30% of everything God ever said.
because he made Rule 69, which states that he does NOT make the rules
As i read this god said it
"I don't have a prefrontal cortex. 😐"
"yeah, well...we all got problems 🤷♂️"
I'm deceased 💀
And so is this guy apparently.
I love how the fetus is just completely understanding of his mother killing him before getting to experience life lmao
reminds me of how kids will see their mother as an angel even if she is a heartless cow
as a person who wished he was never born, I get it, and I don’t understand why it’s so hard to understand, actually
"Anyone who is trans-phobic who identifies as non binary"
That line sent me
Yeah, but I'm confused now. I'm nonbinary but not transphobic. So do I go to hell or no?
@@alexelion7084 no, because you have to be both transphobic and non-binary
@@alexelion7084depending, can you clime a mountain?
@@josecorzo5517 Honestly, probably not. I do need to work on that
@@alexelion7084 also, you need to get the double jump
The way he said, "lesbians," when presenting the nuns 😭
I mean, from what my Roman Catholic friend has told me…
No wonder Christianity in decline
@@DrFranklynAnderson💀💀💀
not just a woman, a pregnant woman!
While naked!
And she was his mom!!!
He kinds have to kick her to move. Does he want the baby to sit still the whole time?
You know damn well yt algorithm ain't gonna push this
He doesn't make the rules
Likes and comments help
I click on all Zach Videos without fail. Yet, it took youtube 3 days to recommend it. lmao
@@HomicidalTh0r Huh, you know what, it took me a bit to get a recommend too. Upload frequency could be a factor? No clue. (Edit: 10 days ago isn't a long time but it's kinda "long" in "UA-cam time" if that makes sense, considering that YT really really really wants you to upload daily, as someone who did a bit of uploading I def found that stuff would get overlooked unless there were daily uploads so longform stuff was unrewarding)
@@HomicidalTh0r5 days
Who do you want to offend: the Left or Right?
Zach: “The whole system”
More like every dumbass extremist. Anyone non extremist would not be offended by this
The only right answer. Both sides are ridiculous but unfortunately neither of them will never realize it.
@@ADMusic1999 Getting offended by something means you're egoistic and/or gullible. And most people are.
God: I don't make the rules.
Fetus: Oh for...who DOES make the rules then, "all mighty creator?!"
God: The simulation designers?
"the what"
We know that Betty White got in. The day is good.
Who is Betty White
@@abook8400a very funny and very nice lady
@@abook8400our grandma
He's trying to be as offensive as possible to all sides now.
True equality
"i don't make the rules" is the most iconic line ever 😂
No one gonna point out how FREAKING HILARIOUS the lesbian picture being a bunch of nuns is?
WAIT
Before I clicked on the video I knew you would have God say “I don’t make the rules”, glad to see how it played out
This better be an incomplete list, bc I can’t see neither noisy neighbors nor ppl holding up everyone else at airport security check on it
Apparently people that talk in movie theaters didn't make the cut either. Also I'd love for drivers that slow down on the highway because of a variety of reasons to make the cut, things like slowing down because the highway curves, to look at a crash on the other side of the highway, because someone is pulled over on the shoulder and not blocking any lanes, etc. So tired of having traffic in the morning and then realizing it's for a completely pointless reason and only because people slowed down when they didn't actually have to. One of the worst is one of the off ramps where I live where people will just randomly slow down before getting off the highway, the ramp is a good quarter of a mile and never backed up, but they will back up an entire lane on the traffic just because they feel like they need to slow down early, and then they always speed up after they get off the highway and realize the ramp is so long.
"I don't make the rules" is still the best running gag.
"But I'm not any of these things!"
- How do you know? You could become one of them.
"I DON'T MAKE THE RULES"
Can’t believe this guy wasn’t able to cure cancer in the time he was alive. There is no way he was supposed to get into heaven
I like how zach's god skits are usually pretty biblically accurate, and then this one just goes balls to the walls for no reason. Peak.
In what way are they accurate
@durrangodsgrief6503 well you'll have to choose a specific video first
According to the list, I have a good chance of getting in. And I’ll see my childhood dog. I still think about him from time to time, and about how good he was. He was a big Rottweiler, and would often sleep next to me when I was a baby as if to guard me against potential intruders.
Well...this is certainly a title to stumble upon in my subscriptions 😅
The first sin would be even funnier if you said "kicked a PREGNANT woman" ;D
2:26 The aborted child defending abortion will never not be funny
the "Hey, I don't make the rules" Line is such a meme! and a catchphrase all wrapped up into one. Love it.
So good, I bought the God's mug, love from Portugal.
Thanks so much!
omg another portuguese ola
3:57 nice save
I'm so weak, I can't "When a man loves going in raw and he meets a nursing major whose best friend just got engaged..." AHHHHH I'm dead! hahahaa
0:16-Dude,u are god. How do you have problems?
2:53 if you have to make your case to God about why you should get into heaven, just say "I got that dog in me."
3:38 the French cause they gave us Guetapans
If u know, u know
we don't want to go there anyway, full of people we don't like, we actually have our own autonomous realm in hell from which we persecute everybody else
That’s not a word
☝️🤓 Its guetapens monsieur
It s guetapens
3:58 Had me rolling, the delivery then the actual line makes you do a triple take, once for the pause, once for the line and then back to the line to make sure you understood the very specific stipulation, lmao 😂
Your political/religious satire is the greatest as always.
There’s such a thing called an ‘age of accountability’ where people who are incapable of making the conscious decision to follow Jesus are automatically forgiven of their sins.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is not actually in the Bible.
Would the unborn child be provided an opportunity to choose between being with God or not, that much is guaranteed. How that happens 🤷♂️
The fact that Minecraft UA-camrs wasn’t on the list of not getting in is a missed opportunity
If god doesn't make the rules then we should meet the guy who actually makes the rules
That's a whole video series unto itself. The group of theologians who developed "the Bible" based on what they perceived is the way people should behave for a productive society. Unfortunately they failed to anticipate jerks, morons, and politicians.
I envision there being multiple drafts where the group misses things resulting in unintended consequences. Kind of like the programming for self-driving cars. "Oops, we didn't anticipate a Tesla not seeing a white semi-trailer due to the sun. We need to write code for that." Also, the first draft will have 20+ edicts, that are slowly whittled down to 10 commandments.
His name is Dave.
omg that last slide caught me off guard-
Hunter Biden caught you off guard but transphobics identifying as nonbinary didnt?
4:22 but you literally do...
He wasn't on either slide show, so he can't argue he wasn't on the hell one when he wasn't on the heaven one either.
3:32 I spit out a lung.
i got a few spare, you need them?
When babies get aborted “all that earthly suffering, I dodged a bullet”
3:00 Started sounding like Redesign Your Logo.
certainly a title i would expect from zach, road to 500k strong!!!
“Ethically ambiguous” has to be the funniest thing I will see today
In Dante's Inferno all the unbabtised babies are left on the front porch of Hell.
Better be a big porch.
I knew that but when you put it like that it’s actually pretty funny lmao
I wonder if “I don’t make the rules” will be this god’s new catchphrase lol
The pictures showing something and the dialogue contradicting it was hilarity
This man fears nothing
next time god says he doesnt make the rules the other guy's gonna implode
God doesn’t make the rules; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
But then the question rises -- who makes the rules?
@@vitaliitomas8121The turtles
Thatnwasnt God though. That was Saint peter. The gatekeeper of Heaven
@@mackymoo1329 Nah, man, that's God right there.
@@MeemahSN Nah. God is busy sitting on his throne while his subjects do the work for him. Just like the king/queen of England or basically any royalties around the globe
"I don't make the rules" and then the other person saying "YES, YOU DO!" is still a great joke. Still not tired of it yet
0:39 that "sorry" fucking killed me xd
Hitler: I didn't see myself on the banned list.
God: it says right there, the man named Hitler can't go to heaven
Hitler: my name is Adolf
0:57 If I date a nursing major, I’m sending her this 💀
God: *creates the holy commandments*
Also God: "I don't make the rules"
"Hey I don't make the rules" saga continues
A funny line would be
"Take it up with God, but unlike me he'll kick you into hell like it's Sparta"
That’s a hell of a title.
*shows wholesome photo of two nice sweet girlfriends having fun shopping with a watermark all over the photo*
“literally, THESE TWO PEOPLE will not go to Heaven!”
😂😂😂😂
Next video "When a Zach Star viewer tries to get into heaven"
I love how we’re still keeping the ‘willing and able’ joke going
where is the "I dont make the rules" T Shit?
unfortunate misspelling
God be like well I dont make the rules on how stuff is spelled
That's probably the only youtuber shirt I'd actually buy. If it was god saying it on the shirt
Imagine going to hell for the sin of being unwanted.
2:18 Fresh & Fit 🤣
The homeowners slide killed me.
Bro came to Heaven as an adult.
i do believe that is says if any child dies before the age of 8 they automatically get into heaven
“The ethnically ambiguous.”
I fucking knew it…
I mean...does he literally mean mixed people, or just people who have culturally appropriated other ethnic styles?
He left that one extra vague...
@@TwisterTornadoExcellent question, considering this version of God I'm going to expect that the answer might be "Hey man, if I can't tell, they go to Hell. My reasons are as follows: 1) It rhymes, and 2) I don't make the rules."
@TwisterTornado someone who prentends to be someone they are not for likes?
@@GalinaEv HONEY, KIM K IS IN FACT, A MIXED PERSON. YOU ARE BEING SLOW.
@@GalinaEv Honey, Kim K is a mixed person.
It appears we have stumbled upon a paradox. People who carry change go to heaven, but bankers do not. So where would a jewish person go?
Damn man. Your bigotry isn't even from this century. The 16th century, maybe?
God said "I don't make the rules" and it was no cap.
omg the "it's not a punishment, it's a separation from god" was giving me catholic school flashbacks
3:43 had me dying
Can't believe literally those two people didn't get in
There’s gatta be a follow up where the Devil is like “what are you doing here?”
yeees
Zach, that mug only holds 11 Oz.
You seriously underestimate coffee drinkers.
What if "Big Brother" was God's manager this whole time, and he really doesn't make the rules? 👀
1984 reference?
Hunter Biden jumpscare caught me off-guard
People trying to cancel Zach in 3,2,1. 😂
"Hey, I don't make the rules."
@@giftedproductions5478 What?! Your god!!!! You literally do!!!!
Honestly this skit was very above-water, Zach does an excellent job at calling out examples of issues on both sides of the aisle in a really amusing way. In some ways he seems to land jokes around things which we largely agree on and leaves some of the harder sticking points on the table unresolved as like, goofy character moments. I appreciate the writing for walking that line as I suspect it takes some effort.
I believe that infants that die may very likely go to heaven. Also, the list of people who “Get into heaven” is completely contradictory to what the Bible says.
No they don’t. Or at least they didn’t use to. The church changed it back in the 80s or something because telling religious parents that are distraught over their miscarriage that their unborn baby is going to stay in purgatory/hell for the rest of eternity really didn’t float their boats.
@@Frogggisimo The Bible doesn’t say that babies go to heaven, but it does indicate some sort of age of accountability. I think that one can infer from all the Bible teaches that infants may very likely go to heaven, but that’s just what I think. You may disagree.
Yeah but God speaking like a frat bro is definitely accurate to the bible
1 fetus in hell, everybody knows the rules
Babies get a kinda sorta grace period until they get to a point they can make their own decision about whether or not they believe in God
Which verse says this?
It's insane to me that billions of people literally believe unborn children go to hell.
I read that as “billions of unborn children go to hell” lmao.
But this is facts
Insane, but normal in this age, most people can't form their opinion and follow mass or what government tells them, instead of thinking logically themselves
"We're evolving, just backwards"
unironically a heavily debated topic within christianity. I personally interpret it as if you do not have the mental capacity to repent, you don’t have the mental capacity to really be punished for sin.
God is perfectly just and perfectly loving. It would not really be just or loving to punish someone for something that they can’t exactly help or even comprehend.
"I don't make the rules..."
"THEN WHO DOES?!"
TFS Mr. Popo: "I do"
This was hilarious. Thanks for the quality videos every time.
Saying that abortion delete an innocent life yet still send the fetus to hell for committing sins!
"Have some independence."
"Sorry."
For whatever reason that was the funniest part to me.
2:36 I completely agree. Why is everyone such a dumbass?
I loved that All Dogs Go To Heaven reference. it came out of nowhere. I didn’t know people still knew about that movie.
Funny as this is, that’s not how it works. Your sins only count if you commit them when beyond the “age of accountability”, which a fetus would obviously not be.
I’m trans and I made the LOUDEST LAUGH when it got to “anyone who is trans… and identifies as non-binary.”