I love that Cilla said, "Autism or not, we dont act like that. It's not okay." I have seen many parents completely excuse the behavior and coddle their child because various challenges or "disabilities." Allowing all kinds of unacceptable behavior. I know that it can't be easy as a parent dealing with constant challenges.
So true.. they arent hypocritical oh look Abbie can learn but then if she acts out use autism to let her act out . I really think that's great. There's parents of neurotypical children who need to follow through!!!
@@crazydiamond4565 I think it isn't so much excusing behavior but more of she is explaining the cause of the behavior and showing she understands it. Also, raising a special needs child as a single parent is extremely difficult. Kaitlin loves her son and it shows in her videos.
@@crazydiamond4565 Hopefully her boyfriend or her dad will help. They help a lot now so, I have no reason to think they won't in the future. Still, I understand what you are saying and I hope it won't be as bad as that.
I can only imagine the amount of emotional and mental strength it takes it to be an autism parent. Y'all do an amazing job and I hope you continue to not let the bad days take over your positive outlook.
dang, going back to pick up the trash, even when you guys were having a hard day. it really moved me to see you try to do the right thing. thank you for leading through example
I just came here to say the same thing! That was just such a surprising moment. So many people don't even think twice about littering and even those who do accidentally drop some trash rarely put in that much effort to go back and pick it up. We really do need more people like that.
Gosh I can only imagine how difficult the aggressive behaviours are when you are unable to get to the bottom of it. It’s really tough. My son is verbal and when his behaviours are aggressive he is also very verbally mean. My hearts go out to you guys. This is the side people don’t see. Autism is not always sunshine and lollipops but we still love,live and learn 💕
This is exactly why I wrote my comment, I don't enjoy seeing the struggles, I enjoy learning from them, seeing the complete unconditional love and effort in parenting the best way possible. I love watching all the new improvements throughout the years! I absolutely love the special bond asa and Abbie have! And Priscilla is superwoman! She has the entire household, everyone in it to take care of and does incredible! These 2 raised a intelligent and compassionate successful son and Abbie has grown sooo much from older videos. I never mean anything negative when I comment I'm not that person. I wish nothing but glorious days for this beautiful family
My 6 yo niece is the same way. She can be very aggressive when the mood strikes her. And so sweet when she's in a calm place. Still love her and learn different ways to handle her.
I worked with children and adults with Autism for about 3 years. One of the things I learned was differentiating Autism or not, they have to learn from the things that they do. It can’t always be “oh, they are austistic, it’s ok that they grabbed me and broke my necklace”.....if you always make excuses and don’t try to teach them, they’ll never learn! Y’all are so amazing. Great parents!! 🥰🥰🥰
I hate that many don’t think like that and always let them do what they want. it’s not okay to make something okay if you wouldn’t be okay with it if someone who doesn’t have autism had done. They’re smart and understand differently doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them not to do it.
angel H exactly!! They are so so so smart! They need to be treated as “typical” as possible! And Asa and Cilla and all of their friends and family are amazing with her! ❤️
I honestly would like you to show the struggles too, it teaches me. It helps me respect, and love you guys that much more that you dont just show family pool days and family dinners of all those happy laughing and smiling times. I watch your videos EVERYDAY and admire your positiveness but no one life is perfect, and yes we only see 20 minutes of your day but I'm just saying it's nice to see life isn't peaches and cream all the time, makes me feel you guys are human. 💗 just speaking my mind. I truly love your channel and your family!!! ❤🥰
I get what your say but they don’t show the bad moments all the time because they don’t want to put those bad moments of Abby on the Internet to protect her. I mean you wouldn’t want your worst moments on the Internet it you would be embarrassing.
I also wrote on comment below, maybe that will help you understand my point a little more . I'm not judging this family one bit, wouldn't waste my time watching and writing if I didnt love them!
Most times aside from the fact noone would wanna be shown on their worst moments most of the time they have to restrain her so no way they could film to
Marlena Diviesti I never thought you were judging but I’m just explaining why they don’t. I understand you would like it as a teaching tool however sometimes that comes with a price for Abby.
Asa, the look on your face when you talk about her aggressive behavior was pure heart break... just know, you and Cilla are amazing parents and are doing amazing with abbie...
This was really helpful to see. It’s so helpful to see you deal with stress in such a calm and positive way. Don’t think you’re showing Abby in a bad light. You’re showing her journey, and all of it is beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. Really appreciated.
They don't like showing her worst because of privacy for her and noone wants to be filmed on their worst moments. Also when she gets really bad it typically takes both to get her through
Casey Stickel oh yeah I know! I was just trying to be supportive to them when they have hard times. And let them knows it’s nice to see such a controlled and positive response to those situations. I think it can help people in all their hard times in life. I would never want them to post the “worst” of it, just for curious people. Just to let them know, anyone who watches out of love, would never judge her for what they do show.
I am always so impressed by how calm, respectful and honest you are. Thank you for being real and sharing your thoughts, watching your vlog has helped me become a better teacher for young people with varying needs. I wish you all the very best 😊
I worked in care for a long time and we call it natural consequences. It's not punishing them but it's a natural repercussion of what will happen if you do something that's not right. Your such great parents well done to you and the whole family. You do so well with Abbie and try so hard your so inspiring in many ways. 💗❤
Poor Ab. I’m glad Summer gets to go home to her family but sweet girl was so sad. I love that she’s gotten so used to having her best friend every day Also I don’t think that there is anything wrong with showing the bad sometimes. I mean, even kids who don’t have autism throw fits but like you said, when she can’t fully communicate it makes it hard. But she still needs to know what you can’t do. Y’all always handle it so well though, you keep calm and still give her that hard love.
You guys are such an inspiration to me. I miss working with my austic children. When I became sick with Epilepsy and having Gran Mal seziures it broke my heart because I can not work anymore. I love watching you guys because it reminds me of all the fun I had and how much I miss it. So you guys are my favorite channel 💜💜💜💜
You're so close to tears and I'm sorry. I can feel your frustration. She seems to be making such great progress and then there's a setback. Summer is here so I personally hope that home school is over so that battle is over for right now. I hope you can fully enjoy the rest of your summer. Love you guys.
I love that y’all are always so positive. I watch this channel because it educational, fun, positive & just family friendly! Sometimes you need a break from all the bad stuff going on in the world. We are constantly surrounded by it, let’s keep the positive levels up!!
i really like how you guys handle it. the attitude of, "its just a moment, you need to deal with it and move on" can be hard to grasp for some people. But its so important to learn and put into practice! love you guys!!
Asa, I've watched your channel for a while now. And you know, your family is just absolutely beautiful and genuine. If the world had more tight knit families like the Mass family, this world would be a much better place!
Aww my heart goes out to you all 💙 I can't even imagine how difficult it is handling aggression 😭 thanks for sharing these struggles and staying vulnerable with all of us. It's so rare and really beautiful you talk about these tough issues 😊 Sending love and strength from Oregon ♥️♥️♥️
What you did was right on the money. You have to have an appropriate consequence for her actions. She can’t control autism or any disability but stoping aggression in its track is important for her and everyone. She has the ability to communicate that she needs to go or it’s loud or basic things. You were stern but not mean. Now the POSITIVE part of it Priscilla gets a new necklace from you.
So awesome I hope she really enjoys her new school when they get to go back there's a smile yay we all have our ruff days like I did today but watching you guys makes me smile 💛
I feel this on so many levels. My Almost 7 year old ASD/SPD just started with more increased aggressive behaviors and the school work has been tough. I've got bruises and ripped clothes. Hoping miss Ab is having a better day today. I'm so thankful for your family and your blogs they have been so helpful. Thank you!
If either of my daughters misbehaved in public we removed them and they were not allowed for x many trips to that place. It’s frustrating, all parents do go through it. But, I understand not knowing exactly with the verbal barriers. I give you guys SOOO MUCH CREDIT!!! ♥️♥️
I totally think what you decide to do with “punishment” is your own choice and your own judgement. You know her better than any of us! So proud of you all for working with it, doing what you think is best and necessary, and moving on! You guys are so awesome.
Thank you for this vlog. It is so important to show your vulnerable side. It is amazing that you are holding her accountable for her behavior. Thank you!
Asa, As painful as it is for you to document, it is actually really helpful and important for us to see Abbie displaying the challing behaviour. Your channel is called Fathering Autism and so don't be afraid to show the downs as well as the ups because its your reality and that's what people want to see I think. Thank you for all you do for us.🤗
You both are amazing parents, Thank you for sharing these moments with everyone. ❤️ Watching how you guys handle things, has helped me with my own children. It helps me understand them, rethinking the situation on how to help them. Keep up the amazing job you two. This community you are building is beneficial in so many ways. Thank you again 😊❤️
Summer is a beautiful addition to your family. Abbie and you all are so privileged to have her in your lives. Thank you summer for being so amazing to Abbie. I can’t wait for Keira to have that bond when she is older. Thank you for sharing your family. I hope one day the page I set up for Keira is going to be helpful to other families just starting this autism journey.
She became aggressive, broke her moms necklace...which means she was grabbing at her throat... I don't believe you're throwing in the towel when you took her to the cart...and I do believe that's when you drive her straight home and she eats PBJ and goes to bed. You can expect frustration from her...you do not have to expect aggression that could hurt someone. She's not a small little girl...she's not big...but she could hurt someone. You believe she has enough understanding to ride a bike...eventually. You believe she does with purpose communicate some basic needs. And that is wonderful. You can also expect her to learn what absolute non acceptable behavior is.
@@izzynarnia3619 actually Izzy...it's to empower them. They do a phenomenal job with what they cope with. But they need to be empowered to know they do not have to accept physical aggression. I've worked with many an adult...with the same level of disability Abbie has. Many that end up institutionalized due to violent behavior. One in particular strangled a dog at 17. A girl not much bigger than Abbie. Out of shear rage and not getting what she wanted broke a dogs neck. I don't want anything like that for them. Abbie can learn to not be aggressive. And it can be taught-over time- with simple consistent removal of what she wants. Initialky she'll throw a bigger fit...but do the same thing...every time and it will work. She can verbalize anger all she wants...but never put her hands on anyone. Take my comment how you like. This family works hard. They cope well. They deserve the best. And Abbie deserves to learn what's acceptable and what's not. It will only help her when they're no longer able to be her voice.
You guys are just awesome! You don’t get enough credit! You’re so real and so positive. I love your family and I’m grateful that not only do you upload every day, you put so much into your videos! You’re great parents, role models, advocates... the list goes on. And you’re just ‘normal’ humble people just trying to show kindness and courage. I think it’s amazing!
We all have struggles however you guys have so much class and show so much positivity which is so needed in these stressful times ...love you guys...hope Summer has a great time with her family.
You guys are such amazing parents. Honestly you are just treating her like a normal teenager. Every teenager needs consequences with behavior, special needs or not. You are both doing a great job!
I know we only get a few minutes of your time with your family, but, you should know all that show us is wonderful. It is also amazing how you deal with your struggles. Thank you for sharing
This vlog definitely shows the rawness parents or care takers feel at times when taking care of someone with aggressive behaviors. 99% of them time we all cope and deal and 1% we are raw, exhausted and frustrated and I’m glad you show both sides.
My heart hurts ❤️ Bless you both for doing the best you can with what life throws at you. I am so impressed by your parenting abilities. Well done on sharing that with us, I could see how hard that was for you both to relive ❤️
I’m glad you shared the bad moments with us. It’s an important reminder that Abbie is human and struggles just like all of us, but she doesn’t always have the capability to channel that productively.
I understand hard times I have a son with Asperger's, and as he got older the tantrums lesson over the years. Then his ADHD has hit an all-time high and know that this is his senior year. An he's graduating and he missed half of his senior year his depression, anxiety and Asperger's has kinda caused him to have a lot more outbursts. More than he's had in probably about five six years. side note if Priscilla's necklaces broken I make jewelry and do a lot of mending of jewelry that isn't 100% gold. So I fix a lot of costume jewelry and things like that. If she needs help fixing it let me know.
The restaurant seems like one of those times where just giving Abbie the ability to leave from a situation she doesn't want to be a part of seems best. Since she can't communicate I'm glad you didn't try to make her stay there, for her sake.
PS - I appreciate your openness whenever you’re willing to show it. It is important for others to understand that positive/negative punishment is OK & necessary when trying to reinforce/remove behaviors. Y’all are doing great with both kiddos.
You are both amazing parents . It shows how much you respect Abbie and are making her realize the consequences of her actions . Much love from Canada .
I am an optimist always see the glass half full, not half empty! Look for something positive in every situation, Abby was aggressive today, at least it was with y’all and not a stranger that would not be understanding. Things could always be worse! Y’all are amazing!
This video touched me totally. I have a non verbal ASD daughter as well but as of late she has been very violent. Seeing Asas raw emotion on it totally moved me. You guys are not alone and you guys are amazing. Keep spreading awareness as you do you have touched so many people. Much love ❤️
You all really have the best attitudes towards life! I do my best to think positively, but its difficult a lot of the time because I live in constant pain and struggle financially. But through it all, I realize things could be so much worse. My brother was paralyzed in a diving accident, and had no feeling from his chin down. He couldn't breathe without a ventilator, and could no longer speak except for us reading his lips. He told me he would gladly feel pain because it meant he was feeling something. So how can I feel sorry for myself? I can feel, I can breathe, and I can speak my complaints. I hold onto that on the really bad days. I may have pain, but it is a blessing in disguise. So those bad times don't really feel so bad after all when you put them in perspective. I love how you stay calm and work through those "moments" that we all have from time to time in a kind and loving way. You are such an inspiration!😊♥️
your vlog was so needed ....i have 3 kiddo's on the spectrum, 2 at home and aggression is currently the way of everyday for our 12 yr old. he bites so fast and hard we generally can't avoid that first bite so we are have arms (and occasionally legs) covered in bites and bruises. literally had a woman ask me if i was in trouble at home, did i need someone called....my guy has many co-morb;s that make things harder. there are days we just want to cry, then we grab an ABA BT and start again. you guys inspire me on the bad days...as a mom of multiple spectrum kids i KNEW you had to be experiencing aggression, i get why it isn't front and center. but i always see the progress and positivity and keep that as a beacon on the bad days....i just wanted to thank you for making that little bit public and for being the amazing family you are. lots of positive energy and thought your way
I love the way you turn the bad into positive. Great way to look at things. Just a bad moment. It doesn’t have to ruin your whole day. Love you guys to pieces. 💖💖💖💖
I’m catching up on videos but you dropping the carton and you going (so chill) I dropped the carton and then you trying to get it back was there laugh I really needed this week. I know it’s small but thank you for including that. You guys are great.
Thanks for sharing even tho it wasn’t all positive. You guys are inspiring to people going thru similar situations. I don’t think sharing struggles is bad. You guys are awesome.
I really appreciate you talking about the bad behavior because I have always thought that what we were shown was it. I had no idea it was more than what we were told. I do not know anyone with autism so what I learn from this channel is what I think autism is.
That is such a great way to look at it. A bad moment instead of a bad day. I am definitely going to try to look at things like that. I also love you show the messes in your house. Like the laundry or your closets. I think it helps remind people your a real family not actors. 🌻🌻🌻🌻
This vlog was so emotional! You could see the sadness in your faces, wanting it to be such a great evening and it turned. I’m sure the difference in dynamics made for most of it. Hope the night ended on a positive note.
Boy, my husband and I are having the very same struggles with our girl. Even trying to explain why we are not able to take her to the places that she enjoys going to, and could before this pandemic. We have tried the social stories etc. Schooling is not the same. She just get's frustrated when the sessions with her teacher are over. You are all doing a wonderful job! Some may ask to see more of the aggressive behaviors. That is not as easy to do as some would think. With our daughter, sometimes it takes more than one of us to get her from physically hurting you or herself. I do understand why you don't film that. Just keep doing what you are doing. You're an amazing family!
I SO GET IT. we don’t want to talk about nor focus on the challenging times. But I appreciate you guys sharing these times. Because i face the same struggles every day. It’s frustrating and sometimes scary. At Times punishment or what I prefer to call teachable or corrective opportunities makes the behavior worse. I appreciate how transparent you guys are as much I guess as you are comfortable doing 👍❤️❤️👍
I do like that, “ We have bad moments not bad days.” Thinking back to when I worked with special needs I have said I’ve had a bad day. It apparently could have been a few moments. I have had those days where no matter what was tried, it didn’t work. So just had to take it with a grain of salt, picky my battles, and start the next day anew. Your family is awesome and I hardly ever miss a vlog.
It’s hard to criticise as some one who doesn’t deal with autism day in day out but don’t ever be disheartened or lose self belief with what your doing. Your both doing amazing even Isaiah & summer! I love watching your videos x
Thank you for showing us this. My son will be turning 5 on Monday he was dignosed a year ago and haven't really had much help since. He's been quite challenging recently and I just thought I've been handling him wrong. watching you vlogs have help me understand my son so much better. My son is quite aggressive at times to. Thank you x
I really respect you allowing everyone to see what real life is like with a teenager and one that can’t be disciplined in your typical way. It is obvious you both were very disappointed but you did the best you could do. Abbie is a big girl and as you said it is not OK for her to grab at people. You are amazing parents with the patience of a saint. Deep breath my friends 🤗💗🙏🏻
it's helpful to share the bad and how you deal with it. I work with a client who can become very aggressive, I have yet to see and handle it myself. but knowing what you do and how you look at it and handle it is very helpful. Also knowing how normal it is for people with ASD to be aggressive for a reason or without a reason helps to put things into perspective as well. I know it's hard and you want to be positive, but it truly does help others out there to know how you handle it. thank you for being so strong and brave.
I love watching you guys everyday! It’s so helpful for my autistic step son who just turned 6. He’s finally pretty verbal but it took a while. I like what cilla said.. some behaviors autism or not are just not acceptable! Our little guy gets a away with a lot of things he shouldn’t while with his mom
I love you guys. Today you put things into perspective for me. Today was a bad day for me. After watching the video it overall wasn’t a bad day just had some bad moments. But again you will have that working in healthcare in the middle of a pandemic.... we all have our days and we get through those moments during those days. Really needed today’s vlog. Thanks for all you do!
You are so right Asa!! I completely agree with you and your lovely wife. There is a difference between bad days and bad moments. Then there's the nightmare times that you wish it was just a bad day!! Lol It is very important to count your blessings and move forward. Don't dwell on the negative. Correct the wrong but don't dwell in the misery. I can't get over just how much I'm enjoying your vlogs!!! Thank you!!! ❤️🧩
All this time together is tough for all of us. I have been so frustrated with my little boy and he is fed up with me. He is 9 and has that pre-teen bad attitude. I go back to work next week and I am so excited to get some time away. I feel sorry for my husband who gets to stay home.
Wow, Asa Priscilla you guys are amazing! Don’t ever doubt yourselves! I worked at a school with Autistic kiddos. I love them! You guys are doing great, I admire your family! ❤️
I like the way you think Asa! "Maybe not a bad day, just a bad moment"...I need to start thinking like that...
I was just thinking the same x
Agreed.
Agree
@Nyesha Harris What a great idea!!
Yes,i feel like everyone should think about that
I love that Cilla said, "Autism or not, we dont act like that. It's not okay." I have seen many parents completely excuse the behavior and coddle their child because various challenges or "disabilities." Allowing all kinds of unacceptable behavior. I know that it can't be easy as a parent dealing with constant challenges.
So true.. they arent hypocritical oh look Abbie can learn but then if she acts out use autism to let her act out . I really think that's great. There's parents of neurotypical children who need to follow through!!!
@@crazydiamond4565 I think it isn't so much excusing behavior but more of she is explaining the cause of the behavior and showing she understands it. Also, raising a special needs child as a single parent is extremely difficult. Kaitlin loves her son and it shows in her videos.
I don't allow my son's Autism to be an excuse for bad behavior either. Society doesn't care if he has Autism.
@@crazydiamond4565 Hopefully her boyfriend or her dad will help. They help a lot now so, I have no reason to think they won't in the future. Still, I understand what you are saying and I hope it won't be as bad as that.
Yes Abbie has to learn.
Bad moments are like clouds in the sky. They pass and the sky will be blue again. Just gotta wait out the storm. :)
Love it!
I can only imagine the amount of emotional and mental strength it takes it to be an autism parent. Y'all do an amazing job and I hope you continue to not let the bad days take over your positive outlook.
dang, going back to pick up the trash, even when you guys were having a hard day. it really moved me to see you try to do the right thing. thank you for leading through example
I just came here to say the same thing! That was just such a surprising moment. So many people don't even think twice about littering and even those who do accidentally drop some trash rarely put in that much effort to go back and pick it up. We really do need more people like that.
😊 I was thinking the same thing.
Gosh I can only imagine how difficult the aggressive behaviours are when you are unable to get to the bottom of it. It’s really tough. My son is verbal and when his behaviours are aggressive he is also very verbally mean. My hearts go out to you guys. This is the side people don’t see. Autism is not always sunshine and lollipops but we still love,live and learn 💕
Well said
This is exactly why I wrote my comment, I don't enjoy seeing the struggles, I enjoy learning from them, seeing the complete unconditional love and effort in parenting the best way possible. I love watching all the new improvements throughout the years! I absolutely love the special bond asa and Abbie have! And Priscilla is superwoman! She has the entire household, everyone in it to take care of and does incredible! These 2 raised a intelligent and compassionate successful son and Abbie has grown sooo much from older videos. I never mean anything negative when I comment I'm not that person. I wish nothing but glorious days for this beautiful family
FatheringAutism ❤️
My 6 yo niece is the same way. She can be very aggressive when the mood strikes her. And so sweet when she's in a calm place. Still love her and learn different ways to handle her.
Robin Varnadoe ❤️
I worked with children and adults with Autism for about 3 years. One of the things I learned was differentiating Autism or not, they have to learn from the things that they do. It can’t always be “oh, they are austistic, it’s ok that they grabbed me and broke my necklace”.....if you always make excuses and don’t try to teach them, they’ll never learn! Y’all are so amazing. Great parents!! 🥰🥰🥰
I hate that many don’t think like that and always let them do what they want. it’s not okay to make something okay if you wouldn’t be okay with it if someone who doesn’t have autism had done. They’re smart and understand differently doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them not to do it.
angel H exactly!! They are so so so smart! They need to be treated as “typical” as possible! And Asa and Cilla and all of their friends and family are amazing with her! ❤️
I honestly would like you to show the struggles too, it teaches me. It helps me respect, and love you guys that much more that you dont just show family pool days and family dinners of all those happy laughing and smiling times. I watch your videos EVERYDAY and admire your positiveness but no one life is perfect, and yes we only see 20 minutes of your day but I'm just saying it's nice to see life isn't peaches and cream all the time, makes me feel you guys are human. 💗 just speaking my mind. I truly love your channel and your family!!! ❤🥰
I get what your say but they don’t show the bad moments all the time because they don’t want to put those bad moments of Abby on the Internet to protect her. I mean you wouldn’t want your worst moments on the Internet it you would be embarrassing.
I also wrote on comment below, maybe that will help you understand my point a little more . I'm not judging this family one bit, wouldn't waste my time watching and writing if I didnt love them!
Most times aside from the fact noone would wanna be shown on their worst moments most of the time they have to restrain her so no way they could film to
I would like to see them also. I would like to have some tools in my tool box.
Marlena Diviesti I never thought you were judging but I’m just explaining why they don’t. I understand you would like it as a teaching tool however sometimes that comes with a price for Abby.
When summer is gone it’s like one of the cast members of my favorite shows is gone.
I agree 🙂
I agree with this so much
accurate
I’m a new viewer. Who is Summer? Like what is her relationship to them?
amaaanster she is a close family friend that has become a “big sister” to Ab. There is a video somewhere that explains who she is.
Asa, the look on your face when you talk about her aggressive behavior was pure heart break... just know, you and Cilla are amazing parents and are doing amazing with abbie...
This was really helpful to see. It’s so helpful to see you deal with stress in such a calm and positive way. Don’t think you’re showing Abby in a bad light. You’re showing her journey, and all of it is beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. Really appreciated.
They don't like showing her worst because of privacy for her and noone wants to be filmed on their worst moments. Also when she gets really bad it typically takes both to get her through
Casey Stickel oh yeah I know! I was just trying to be supportive to them when they have hard times. And let them knows it’s nice to see such a controlled and positive response to those situations. I think it can help people in all their hard times in life. I would never want them to post the “worst” of it, just for curious people. Just to let them know, anyone who watches out of love, would never judge her for what they do show.
I am always so impressed by how calm, respectful and honest you are. Thank you for being real and sharing your thoughts, watching your vlog has helped me become a better teacher for young people with varying needs. I wish you all the very best 😊
@@amandalee2457 Thank you, that is very kind 😍
I worked in care for a long time and we call it natural consequences. It's not punishing them but it's a natural repercussion of what will happen if you do something that's not right. Your such great parents well done to you and the whole family. You do so well with Abbie and try so hard your so inspiring in many ways. 💗❤
Just remember. It's ok to be upset, it's ok to be angry, it's ok to be sad. Sometimes you need to release those feelings as they just bottle up.
Poor Ab. I’m glad Summer gets to go home to her family but sweet girl was so sad. I love that she’s gotten so used to having her best friend every day
Also I don’t think that there is anything wrong with showing the bad sometimes. I mean, even kids who don’t have autism throw fits but like you said, when she can’t fully communicate it makes it hard. But she still needs to know what you can’t do. Y’all always handle it so well though, you keep calm and still give her that hard love.
You guys are such an inspiration to me. I miss working with my austic children. When I became sick with Epilepsy and having Gran Mal seziures it broke my heart because I can not work anymore. I love watching you guys because it reminds me of all the fun I had and how much I miss it. So you guys are my favorite channel 💜💜💜💜
You're so close to tears and I'm sorry. I can feel your frustration. She seems to be making such great progress and then there's a setback. Summer is here so I personally hope that home school is over so that battle is over for right now. I hope you can fully enjoy the rest of your summer. Love you guys.
I'm so glad you went back to get the container. 🙂
I love that y’all are always so positive. I watch this channel because it educational, fun, positive & just family friendly! Sometimes you need a break from all the bad stuff going on in the world. We are constantly surrounded by it, let’s keep the positive levels up!!
If you trim the dead leaves off your plants, it will provide more nutrients to the healthy parts. You probably know this, but just in case lol
We all have had our moments.!! Remember even paradise has rain and when it stops raining! it’s paradise again...
i really like how you guys handle it. the attitude of, "its just a moment, you need to deal with it and move on" can be hard to grasp for some people. But its so important to learn and put into practice! love you guys!!
If you’re being real you’re being relatable.. keep it real..
But yeah.. I agree don’t let the bad moments define the whole day.. 😎🤩😎🤩😎
Asa, I've watched your channel for a while now. And you know, your family is just absolutely beautiful and genuine. If the world had more tight knit families like the Mass family, this world would be a much better place!
Aww my heart goes out to you all 💙 I can't even imagine how difficult it is handling aggression 😭 thanks for sharing these struggles and staying vulnerable with all of us. It's so rare and really beautiful you talk about these tough issues 😊 Sending love and strength from Oregon ♥️♥️♥️
What you did was right on the money. You have to have an appropriate consequence for her actions. She can’t control autism or any disability but stoping aggression in its track is important for her and everyone. She has the ability to communicate that she needs to go or it’s loud or basic things. You were stern but not mean. Now the POSITIVE part of it Priscilla gets a new necklace from you.
So awesome I hope she really enjoys her new school when they get to go back there's a smile yay we all have our ruff days like I did today but watching you guys makes me smile 💛
Sending appreciation to asa and Priscilla. I know it must be very hard sometimes, remember to take time for yourself do some self care.
I feel this on so many levels. My Almost 7 year old ASD/SPD just started with more increased aggressive behaviors and the school work has been tough. I've got bruises and ripped clothes. Hoping miss Ab is having a better day today. I'm so thankful for your family and your blogs they have been so helpful. Thank you!
If either of my daughters misbehaved in public we removed them and they were not allowed for x many trips to that place. It’s frustrating, all parents do go through it. But, I understand not knowing exactly with the verbal barriers. I give you guys SOOO MUCH CREDIT!!! ♥️♥️
I give you both so much credit. It can’t be easy but you share with all of us what the daily struggles are and you always find the positive.
I totally think what you decide to do with “punishment” is your own choice and your own judgement. You know her better than any of us! So proud of you all for working with it, doing what you think is best and necessary, and moving on! You guys are so awesome.
I love that you acknowledge when she is happy. Everyone has their moments those shouldn’t be the focus. You are amazing parents and partners. ♥️
Thank you for this vlog. It is so important to show your vulnerable side. It is amazing that you are holding her accountable for her behavior. Thank you!
Asa, As painful as it is for you to document, it is actually really helpful and important for us to see Abbie displaying the challing behaviour. Your channel is called Fathering Autism and so don't be afraid to show the downs as well as the ups because its your reality and that's what people want to see I think. Thank you for all you do for us.🤗
Glad to see summer leaving to see her family even tho Abbie was sad .
You both are amazing parents, Thank you for sharing these moments with everyone. ❤️ Watching how you guys handle things, has helped me with my own children. It helps me understand them, rethinking the situation on how to help them. Keep up the amazing job you two. This community you are building is beneficial in so many ways. Thank you again 😊❤️
Thank y’all for being real!! As a mom of a kiddos with severe autism who struggles with aggression, we often feel alone in this and we aren’t!
Summer is a beautiful addition to your family. Abbie and you all are so privileged to have her in your lives. Thank you summer for being so amazing to Abbie.
I can’t wait for Keira to have that bond when she is older.
Thank you for sharing your family. I hope one day the page I set up for Keira is going to be helpful to other families just starting this autism journey.
I'm a Special Education teacher and I LOVE your channel. I have suggested to many of my parents to watch you guys. Amazing
She became aggressive, broke her moms necklace...which means she was grabbing at her throat...
I don't believe you're throwing in the towel when you took her to the cart...and I do believe that's when you drive her straight home and she eats PBJ and goes to bed. You can expect frustration from her...you do not have to expect aggression that could hurt someone. She's not a small little girl...she's not big...but she could hurt someone. You believe she has enough understanding to ride a bike...eventually. You believe she does with purpose communicate some basic needs. And that is wonderful. You can also expect her to learn what absolute non acceptable behavior is.
I dont know if this is helping them or arguing with them
@@izzynarnia3619 actually Izzy...it's to empower them. They do a phenomenal job with what they cope with. But they need to be empowered to know they do not have to accept physical aggression. I've worked with many an adult...with the same level of disability Abbie has. Many that end up institutionalized due to violent behavior. One in particular strangled a dog at 17. A girl not much bigger than Abbie. Out of shear rage and not getting what she wanted broke a dogs neck. I don't want anything like that for them. Abbie can learn to not be aggressive. And it can be taught-over time- with simple consistent removal of what she wants. Initialky she'll throw a bigger fit...but do the same thing...every time and it will work. She can verbalize anger all she wants...but never put her hands on anyone. Take my comment how you like. This family works hard. They cope well. They deserve the best. And Abbie deserves to learn what's acceptable and what's not. It will only help her when they're no longer able to be her voice.
She was probably doing what she does with dad.. grabbing at the front of his shirt. Moms shirts are not made the same way so she hit the necklace.
You guys are just awesome! You don’t get enough credit! You’re so real and so positive. I love your family and I’m grateful that not only do you upload every day, you put so much into your videos! You’re great parents, role models, advocates... the list goes on. And you’re just ‘normal’ humble people just trying to show kindness and courage. I think it’s amazing!
We all have struggles however you guys have so much class and show so much positivity which is so needed in these stressful times ...love you guys...hope Summer has a great time with her family.
You guys are such amazing parents. Honestly you are just treating her like a normal teenager. Every teenager needs consequences with behavior, special needs or not. You are both doing a great job!
You guys do a great job!!!! and just want let ya'll know thank you for sharing!!
Thank you for being honest and open. Life isn't always pretty.
I know we only get a few minutes of your time with your family, but, you should know all that show us is wonderful. It is also amazing how you deal with your struggles. Thank you for sharing
Abbie is a natural beauty,love her smile
This vlog definitely shows the rawness parents or care takers feel at times when taking care of someone with aggressive behaviors. 99% of them time we all cope and deal and 1% we are raw, exhausted and frustrated and I’m glad you show both sides.
My heart hurts ❤️
Bless you both for doing the best you can with what life throws at you.
I am so impressed by your parenting abilities. Well done on sharing that with us, I could see how hard that was for you both to relive ❤️
I’m glad you shared the bad moments with us. It’s an important reminder that Abbie is human and struggles just like all of us, but she doesn’t always have the capability to channel that productively.
Thanks for your honesty & sharing your positive outlook, especially when things get tough. ❤️❤️❤️
Asa, Priscilla You did the right thing with Abbie when she was misbehaving on the golf cart ride
I understand hard times I have a son with Asperger's, and as he got older the tantrums lesson over the years. Then his ADHD has hit an all-time high and know that this is his senior year. An he's graduating and he missed half of his senior year his depression, anxiety and Asperger's has kinda caused him to have a lot more outbursts. More than he's had in probably about five six years.
side note if Priscilla's necklaces broken I make jewelry and do a lot of mending of jewelry that isn't 100% gold. So I fix a lot of costume jewelry and things like that. If she needs help fixing it let me know.
Hi Abbie and family, summer I'm gonna miss you have a safe trip going back home
You guts are awesome parents! Continue parenting the way you do and you’ll always succeed!
The restaurant seems like one of those times where just giving Abbie the ability to leave from a situation she doesn't want to be a part of seems best. Since she can't communicate I'm glad you didn't try to make her stay there, for her sake.
PS - I appreciate your openness whenever you’re willing to show it. It is important for others to understand that positive/negative punishment is OK & necessary when trying to reinforce/remove behaviors. Y’all are doing great with both kiddos.
I get it. As a Mom of a child with Autism who hits me on the daily, it was refreshing to see you being real today, thank you
You are both amazing parents . It shows how much you respect Abbie and are making her realize the consequences of her actions . Much love from Canada .
I like that... a bad moment doesn't have to be a bad day. Thanks Asa 😊💖
I am an optimist always see the glass half full, not half empty! Look for something positive in every situation, Abby was aggressive today, at least it was with y’all and not a stranger that would not be understanding. Things could always be worse! Y’all are amazing!
This video touched me totally. I have a non verbal ASD daughter as well but as of late she has been very violent. Seeing Asas raw emotion on it totally moved me. You guys are not alone and you guys are amazing. Keep spreading awareness as you do you have touched so many people. Much love ❤️
You all really have the best attitudes towards life! I do my best to think positively, but its difficult a lot of the time because I live in constant pain and struggle financially. But through it all, I realize things could be so much worse. My brother was paralyzed in a diving accident, and had no feeling from his chin down. He couldn't breathe without a ventilator, and could no longer speak except for us reading his lips. He told me he would gladly feel pain because it meant he was feeling something. So how can I feel sorry for myself? I can feel, I can breathe, and I can speak my complaints. I hold onto that on the really bad days. I may have pain, but it is a blessing in disguise. So those bad times don't really feel so bad after all when you put them in perspective. I love how you stay calm and work through those "moments" that we all have from time to time in a kind and loving way. You are such an inspiration!😊♥️
Miss you already Summer! ❤️❤️
your vlog was so needed ....i have 3 kiddo's on the spectrum, 2 at home and aggression is currently the way of everyday for our 12 yr old. he bites so fast and hard we generally can't avoid that first bite so we are have arms (and occasionally legs) covered in bites and bruises. literally had a woman ask me if i was in trouble at home, did i need someone called....my guy has many co-morb;s that make things harder. there are days we just want to cry, then we grab an ABA BT and start again. you guys inspire me on the bad days...as a mom of multiple spectrum kids i KNEW you had to be experiencing aggression, i get why it isn't front and center. but i always see the progress and positivity and keep that as a beacon on the bad days....i just wanted to thank you for making that little bit public and for being the amazing family you are. lots of positive energy and thought your way
I think yall are great parents.
It's very hard sometimes but yall have patience
I agree. I am in awe in what they deal with every day. It’s just exhausting.
I just wanted to remind you both what fantastic people and parents ye are!💕
I appreciate when you share the tough stuff. It helps sooo much - it reminds people they are not alone. Thank you!
Priscilla such a mom to Summer saying drive safe, etc! Sweetest thing! Goodbyes are always hard!
I get it. It an appropriate "punishment" for the behavior
Your honesty is amazing. Great job guys x
I love the way you turn the bad into positive. Great way to look at things. Just a bad moment. It doesn’t have to ruin your whole day. Love you guys to pieces. 💖💖💖💖
Yall show me how wonderful it is to have family together and getting ready for Isaiah to leave for college. Love yall
You two are great parents, so much respect.
Oh sweet Abbie, I know you’re gonna miss Summer! But she will be back soon enough 😊
I think that you guys handled it wonderfully showing that its not ok behavior while reinforcing correct behavior.
I’m catching up on videos but you dropping the carton and you going (so chill) I dropped the carton and then you trying to get it back was there laugh I really needed this week. I know it’s small but thank you for including that. You guys are great.
Thanks for sharing even tho it wasn’t all positive. You guys are inspiring to people going thru similar situations. I don’t think sharing struggles is bad. You guys are awesome.
I really appreciate you talking about the bad behavior because I have always thought that what we were shown was it. I had no idea it was more than what we were told. I do not know anyone with autism so what I learn from this channel is what I think autism is.
Thanks for sharing the struggles... we have them too.
That is such a great way to look at it. A bad moment instead of a bad day. I am definitely going to try to look at things like that. I also love you show the messes in your house. Like the laundry or your closets. I think it helps remind people your a real family not actors. 🌻🌻🌻🌻
This vlog was so emotional! You could see the sadness in your faces, wanting it to be such a great evening and it turned. I’m sure the difference in dynamics made for most of it.
Hope the night ended on a positive note.
Boy, my husband and I are having the very same struggles with our girl. Even trying to explain why we are not able to take her to the places that she enjoys going to, and could before this pandemic. We have tried the social stories etc. Schooling is not the same. She just get's frustrated when the sessions with her teacher are over. You are all doing a wonderful job! Some may ask to see more of the aggressive behaviors. That is not as easy to do as some would think. With our daughter, sometimes it takes more than one of us to get her from physically hurting you or herself. I do understand why you don't film that. Just keep doing what you are doing. You're an amazing family!
I SO GET IT. we don’t want to talk about nor focus on the challenging times. But I appreciate you guys sharing these times. Because i face the same struggles every day. It’s frustrating and sometimes scary. At Times punishment or what I prefer to call teachable or corrective opportunities makes the behavior worse. I appreciate how transparent you guys are as much I guess as you are comfortable doing 👍❤️❤️👍
I think you guys are amazing parents
I do like that, “ We have bad moments not bad days.” Thinking back to when I worked with special needs I have said I’ve had a bad day. It apparently could have been a few moments. I have had those days where no matter what was tried, it didn’t work. So just had to take it with a grain of salt, picky my battles, and start the next day anew. Your family is awesome and I hardly ever miss a vlog.
It’s hard to criticise as some one who doesn’t deal with autism day in day out but don’t ever be disheartened or lose self belief with what your doing. Your both doing amazing even Isaiah & summer! I love watching your videos x
Thank you for showing us this. My son will be turning 5 on Monday he was dignosed a year ago and haven't really had much help since. He's been quite challenging recently and I just thought I've been handling him wrong. watching you vlogs have help me understand my son so much better. My son is quite aggressive at times to. Thank you x
I really respect you allowing everyone to see what real life is like with a teenager and one that can’t be disciplined in your typical way. It is obvious you both were very disappointed but you did the best you could do. Abbie is a big girl and as you said it is not OK for her to grab at people. You are amazing parents with the patience of a saint. Deep breath my friends 🤗💗🙏🏻
We all have those moments in the day .... tomorrow’s a new day and a fresh start 💖
The look on your face sitting in the cart,I felt that ,I've been there stay strong❤
it's helpful to share the bad and how you deal with it. I work with a client who can become very aggressive, I have yet to see and handle it myself. but knowing what you do and how you look at it and handle it is very helpful. Also knowing how normal it is for people with ASD to be aggressive for a reason or without a reason helps to put things into perspective as well. I know it's hard and you want to be positive, but it truly does help others out there to know how you handle it. thank you for being so strong and brave.
I love watching you guys everyday! It’s so helpful for my autistic step son who just turned 6. He’s finally pretty verbal but it took a while. I like what cilla said.. some behaviors autism or not are just not acceptable! Our little guy gets a away with a lot of things he shouldn’t while with his mom
Thank you for educating us in such an honest way. 🥰
Thanks for keeping it real team. I watch your every day. We are so lucky to have your videos, whatever the content. Much love from Canada. 💜
I love you guys. Today you put things into perspective for me. Today was a bad day for me. After watching the video it overall wasn’t a bad day just had some bad moments. But again you will have that working in healthcare in the middle of a pandemic.... we all have our days and we get through those moments during those days. Really needed today’s vlog. Thanks for all you do!
You are so right Asa!! I completely agree with you and your lovely wife. There is a difference between bad days and bad moments. Then there's the nightmare times that you wish it was just a bad day!! Lol It is very important to count your blessings and move forward. Don't dwell on the negative. Correct the wrong but don't dwell in the misery. I can't get over just how much I'm enjoying your vlogs!!! Thank you!!! ❤️🧩
All this time together is tough for all of us. I have been so frustrated with my little boy and he is fed up with me. He is 9 and has that pre-teen bad attitude. I go back to work next week and I am so excited to get some time away. I feel sorry for my husband who gets to stay home.
Wow, Asa Priscilla you guys are amazing! Don’t ever doubt yourselves! I worked at a school with Autistic kiddos. I love them! You guys are doing great, I admire your family! ❤️