5:30 What I do when I'm depressed is just treat myself how my kid self wants to be treated...a weird thing to say, but it helps me. If i was my own mother, what would I do to help me feel better? You know that type of thinking.Go to the movies, hang out with family, watch romance anime's in my PJ's and eat ice cream while I cry. Just creature comforts that help me get through the day.
4:47 "I'm sorry. I'm just _dealing_ with so _much,_ right now." We're here for you, Steph. Especially those of us who've been with you since _way back._
From one internet stranger to another - I give you my love, nothing is permanent, even the sad times are impermanent and they are followed by good times. May you use all the strength within you and get through this.
Ah man, I know you're very strong so you'll get through it. Please take care of yourself and focus on your mental health. Ofc it's a tough path ahead, but I believe you'll persevere.
I know how you felt. I went through divorce and it absolutely sucked. Im only young and i think that made it worse but you get through it. If your partner works with you and things are amicable the process will be easier. Luv you lots i hope your doing ok bubba.
That sucks to hear. Obviously we the viewers are only hearing one side of this but sounds like he's just totally gunna bail on you and child (or whatever co-parenting means). Can't imagine the situation with a kid and being in Cali where its mega absurd for living prices and then assuming you'll have to get a job/career to somehow make an income if he was the one working solely. I've always been a bit of a maverick myself, just being self sustaining and no kids, dunno why but stories like yours just always scare me where your life gets tangled with someone else and if they decide to back out like rage quitting from a video game it can affect you too. Especially with how long you two had unknown eachother and been together and just like that its over now. As for the question of how to handle situations like that, my answer is I probably don't handle it well. I hate the unknown and uncertainty, especially if its something I have no control over. It just turns into my life feeling dull and the pressure of stress when I try to sleep or I'm not preoccupied to keep myself distracted. Like a grenade went off near me in a battle and everything is muffled. My brain starts to go in to catastrophe mode thinking of the worst outcomes when in reality everything always turns out ok, even when its not the solution I wanted its never as scary or bad as I thought it would be. Still something I always have to work on but it is what it is.
Hey, just a heads-up for you: What you describe sounds like you might have generalized anxiety disorder. It's something people are born with and can't really control. It's like your body creates too many stress hormones or something, I dunno the actual reason. I have it and it made my life very difficult until I got on an SSRI (good old prozac in my case) in my 20's and it was like a lightswitch flipped and I was suddenly normal. Look into it!
I hadn't heard from you for so long I decided to check your page. I'm sorry to hear about it Steph. Just know that you are loved and I've always looked forward to seeing your videos. If you need someone I am here.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Whatever happens next, I hope it brings you happiness and health. I've been rooting for you since the Japan days and I doubt I'll stop any time soon!
😳 Did you say that you and he have been together for _twelve years?_ Wow. I've been subbed to your channel _longer_ than that. No exaggeration, in the last few months, I came across a _very_ video you posted on which all the comments were _inactive._ Inactive meaning one could not _reply_ to them or _delete_ them. That includes comments _I_ had posted.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It does suck now, but, like you said, it'll get better. You've got your UA-cam people to help you through it at least. I wish you and your daughter all the best. You deserve it.
Hey Steph, I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out; it is not an easy situation. I know what you're going through, and I can't offer you any words of wisdom. However, I can offer you a hug and know that you are loved and that you need to put yourself and your daughter first ❤🩹
Sorry to hear you’re going through so much right now. But I truly believe you’ll get through this and everything will be alright. It may not seem like it right now but just keep going and take one day at a time. 💙
Hey, if it makes you feel any better, remember that no matter how hard it feels right now, Mira has it even harder these days. :) I totally understand what you're going through right now; I'm in the same situation (15 years together in my case). To make matters worse, my better half is Japanese, which means I've received no explanations as to why and how we got to this point, and what I've done wrong. I still don't know what the heck I've done wrong. So yeah, it's going to suck for a while... But hang in there...
I wish I could help but I feel really bad when relationships get to this point and never know what to do. good luck and i hope things get better soon! by the way damn I follow your channel for more than 12 years! time needs to chill and go slower a little bit
Sorry... at least we're here to listen. I assume you want to keep the reasons private, which is probably healthy, so only you know how final this really is, but I'd say that it might be a good idea to take it very slowly. It's not something to rush into; don't throw your hands in the air and accept it as fate. Sometimes when people have time to think about it and time for the dust to settle, and both of you have been clouded in dust from the sound of it, things resolve themselves and don't seem so important. Take your time. Delay or slow things down, even, if it feels like it won't make things worse. I'm married to someone who broke up with me before we got married and then we got married anyway, and then twice after talked about divorce, but always calmed down and came around, and we've been married for 28 years now, very happily, and those days are far, far in the past. Anyway, ❤️, I hope you can cope for now. When I'm depressed, I try to watch videos where people experience pure joy, like deaf people getting their cochlear implants turned on and hearing sound again or for the first time, or colorblind people putting on Enchroma glasses and crying with joy at seeing the full spectrum of colors for the first time ever, or people being reunited with animals. Stuff like that. Seeing others' joy fills my bloodstream with whatever hormones make joyful feelings and drowns out the ones that make depressed feelings.
Oh, I see from one of your replies that it's about how many kids to have. I'm not sure how likely that is to resolve. Hm. Does he talk about _why_ he wants more kids? Is it because he wants a son? If so, he might end up disappointed no matter what, because I've seen families with nothing but daughters. He might be able to satisfy those needs by doing things like coaching boy's little league or something like that. If you don't actually know the real reason why he wants more kids, I think it's important to find out before making any drastic decisions. This might require couples counseling, since he's a European guy and might be of stoic nature, unwilling to talk about his feelings short of being put in a situation where you're expected to do it.
Oh no!!! 🙄 But Also I looked at the screen like what is that paste right before you yelled that's not poop!!! 🤣 Also also, I watch my favorite movies and tv shows. My favorites are My Neighbor Totoro, Doctor Who, Firefly... And play video games. Lol =op
@@caffinejedi this sounds painful for both of you. If you give in, you run the risk of resenting him for a long time, and if he sticks it out knowing he wants more kids and gave that up, he’ll be resentful too. It’s brave of both of you to be taking these steps, it’s scary I’m sure, I wish I had been that self aware in my own situation. Stay strong and be gentle with yourself.
5:30 What I do when I'm depressed is just treat myself how my kid self wants to be treated...a weird thing to say, but it helps me. If i was my own mother, what would I do to help me feel better? You know that type of thinking.Go to the movies, hang out with family, watch romance anime's in my PJ's and eat ice cream while I cry. Just creature comforts that help me get through the day.
4:47 "I'm sorry. I'm just _dealing_ with so _much,_ right now."
We're here for you, Steph. Especially those of us who've been with you since _way back._
From one internet stranger to another - I give you my love, nothing is permanent, even the sad times are impermanent and they are followed by good times. May you use all the strength within you and get through this.
You don’t seem like the same person you were in Japan but that might be motherhood. You know your viewers weren’t keen on him from the beginning 😅
Sorry to hear that. Someone I know has been going through the same and after several months they are much happier.
Ah man, I know you're very strong so you'll get through it. Please take care of yourself and focus on your mental health. Ofc it's a tough path ahead, but I believe you'll persevere.
So sorry to hear, that's so hard. I wish the best for you. You have better days ahead and we are here for you.
I know how you felt. I went through divorce and it absolutely sucked. Im only young and i think that made it worse but you get through it. If your partner works with you and things are amicable the process will be easier. Luv you lots i hope your doing ok bubba.
That sucks to hear. Obviously we the viewers are only hearing one side of this but sounds like he's just totally gunna bail on you and child (or whatever co-parenting means).
Can't imagine the situation with a kid and being in Cali where its mega absurd for living prices and then assuming you'll have to get a job/career to somehow make an income if he was the one working solely. I've always been a bit of a maverick myself, just being self sustaining and no kids, dunno why but stories like yours just always scare me where your life gets tangled with someone else and if they decide to back out like rage quitting from a video game it can affect you too. Especially with how long you two had unknown eachother and been together and just like that its over now.
As for the question of how to handle situations like that, my answer is I probably don't handle it well. I hate the unknown and uncertainty, especially if its something I have no control over. It just turns into my life feeling dull and the pressure of stress when I try to sleep or I'm not preoccupied to keep myself distracted. Like a grenade went off near me in a battle and everything is muffled. My brain starts to go in to catastrophe mode thinking of the worst outcomes when in reality everything always turns out ok, even when its not the solution I wanted its never as scary or bad as I thought it would be. Still something I always have to work on but it is what it is.
Hey, just a heads-up for you: What you describe sounds like you might have generalized anxiety disorder. It's something people are born with and can't really control. It's like your body creates too many stress hormones or something, I dunno the actual reason. I have it and it made my life very difficult until I got on an SSRI (good old prozac in my case) in my 20's and it was like a lightswitch flipped and I was suddenly normal. Look into it!
I'm so sorry to hear :( best wishes to you and clarity for the situation
I hadn't heard from you for so long I decided to check your page. I'm sorry to hear about it Steph. Just know that you are loved and I've always looked forward to seeing your videos. If you need someone I am here.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Whatever happens next, I hope it brings you happiness and health. I've been rooting for you since the Japan days and I doubt I'll stop any time soon!
😳 Did you say that you and he have been together for _twelve years?_ Wow. I've been subbed to your channel _longer_ than that.
No exaggeration, in the last few months, I came across a _very_ video you posted on which all the comments were _inactive._ Inactive meaning one could not _reply_ to them or _delete_ them. That includes comments _I_ had posted.
Weird. I'll have to look at that
Very sorry to hear. You are a genuine lovely person.
Is Bastian the German ? Are you in Germany?
Separated from this person is the best idea on life this guy
here since the Japan series. Cheer up! I hope you get better soon 🥺
Heartbreaking😞 i think we would all like to be able to give you a reasuring hug, we all love you, stay strong
I'm sorry to hear about this. I really hope it gets better soon for you.
Sorry to hear you're going through this. I hope things remain civil.
Sorry to hear this.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It does suck now, but, like you said, it'll get better. You've got your UA-cam people to help you through it at least. I wish you and your daughter all the best. You deserve it.
Hey Steph, I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out; it is not an easy situation.
I know what you're going through, and I can't offer you any words of wisdom. However, I can offer you a hug and know that you are loved and that you need to put yourself and your daughter first ❤🩹
Sorry to hear you’re going through so much right now. But I truly believe you’ll get through this and everything will be alright. It may not seem like it right now but just keep going and take one day at a time. 💙
This is so unfortunate! I hope you can navigate your way through these tough times and find some kind of happiness at the end of this.
Sometimes life just sucks. I'm sorry.
Stay strong !! Been following you since the Japan days - maybe you should go there for a holiday
I don't know what's going on, but I was thinking like the red sea
Interesting how we can say something personal without actually saying anything personal at all.
Wow I've been looking for your channel for a bit I remember you during the legend of Korra days.
Hope everything works out
Hey, if it makes you feel any better, remember that no matter how hard it feels right now, Mira has it even harder these days. :) I totally understand what you're going through right now; I'm in the same situation (15 years together in my case). To make matters worse, my better half is Japanese, which means I've received no explanations as to why and how we got to this point, and what I've done wrong. I still don't know what the heck I've done wrong. So yeah, it's going to suck for a while... But hang in there...
Where is Mira?? I miss her content so much
@@KantoCafe715 I think she's having fun wearing burkas these days
@@gorillanobaka9772😂lol true. She was still the realest and least cringiest J vlogger. As well as caffeinejedi of course
I wish I could help but I feel really bad when relationships get to this point and never know what to do. good luck and i hope things get better soon!
by the way damn I follow your channel for more than 12 years! time needs to chill and go slower a little bit
Sorry... at least we're here to listen. I assume you want to keep the reasons private, which is probably healthy, so only you know how final this really is, but I'd say that it might be a good idea to take it very slowly. It's not something to rush into; don't throw your hands in the air and accept it as fate.
Sometimes when people have time to think about it and time for the dust to settle, and both of you have been clouded in dust from the sound of it, things resolve themselves and don't seem so important. Take your time. Delay or slow things down, even, if it feels like it won't make things worse.
I'm married to someone who broke up with me before we got married and then we got married anyway, and then twice after talked about divorce, but always calmed down and came around, and we've been married for 28 years now, very happily, and those days are far, far in the past.
Anyway, ❤️, I hope you can cope for now. When I'm depressed, I try to watch videos where people experience pure joy, like deaf people getting their cochlear implants turned on and hearing sound again or for the first time, or colorblind people putting on Enchroma glasses and crying with joy at seeing the full spectrum of colors for the first time ever, or people being reunited with animals. Stuff like that. Seeing others' joy fills my bloodstream with whatever hormones make joyful feelings and drowns out the ones that make depressed feelings.
Oh, I see from one of your replies that it's about how many kids to have. I'm not sure how likely that is to resolve. Hm. Does he talk about _why_ he wants more kids?
Is it because he wants a son? If so, he might end up disappointed no matter what, because I've seen families with nothing but daughters. He might be able to satisfy those needs by doing things like coaching boy's little league or something like that.
If you don't actually know the real reason why he wants more kids, I think it's important to find out before making any drastic decisions. This might require couples counseling, since he's a European guy and might be of stoic nature, unwilling to talk about his feelings short of being put in a situation where you're expected to do it.
My advice is to go see your grandfather and tell him you love him.
We went to see him a few weeks ago. My aunt is trying to plan a family trip together.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. =(
More and more people separate, you are not alone. You will always be family just hang in there and you will be ok.
It's terrible.
But knowing that fact, i've decided to stop dating 5 years ago.
Hug! If there's anything I can do you know how to find me on FB.
Oh no!!! 🙄 But Also I looked at the screen like what is that paste right before you yelled that's not poop!!! 🤣 Also also, I watch my favorite movies and tv shows. My favorites are My Neighbor Totoro, Doctor Who, Firefly... And play video games. Lol =op
take your time
Good luck.
what about the child?
They're here. We're trying to amicably co-parent
When I see someone's head and they're talking about separation I'm guessing it's from their body??? What's wrong with my brain?
When you get married equals divorce
I'm sorry
what are those "wants"? we want to know as much as possible.........tell us all the most private dirt....
Nothing crazy. He wants more kids. I do not. And the romance in our relationship is kind of gone.
@@caffinejedi how did you 2 NOT discuss this before tying the knot (or whatever commitment you 2 have made)?
@@Akus75038 We did. He changed his mind
@@caffinejedi I think I may be in the same situation. We decided beforehand on one. I think he's changing his mind. It's hard.
@@caffinejedi this sounds painful for both of you. If you give in, you run the risk of resenting him for a long time, and if he sticks it out knowing he wants more kids and gave that up, he’ll be resentful too. It’s brave of both of you to be taking these steps, it’s scary I’m sure, I wish I had been that self aware in my own situation. Stay strong and be gentle with yourself.
Show us some areola.