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The Harsh Reality For 50% Of Women
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- Опубліковано 14 лют 2022
- Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - 7 Ha...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson reacts to 50% of women being childless by 30. ONS has recently released data saying that 50.1% of women haven’t had children by age 30. Why does Jordan Peterson think that women are having fewer and fewer children? Why are women having children later in life? Does Jordan Peterson think that population collapse is imminent?
#jordanpeterson #birthrate #dating
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@@mosesking2923 What a terrible person
I was childless at age 58, when my partner of 20 years suggested children. I worked and was fine not having kids. He was age 60 and organized the birth of twins by egg donor/carrier. So, I raised my 13 year olds from birth at a late age, experiencing both states of womanhood in my lifetime. I would say childless women may be happier, have time for opportunities for self-expression, and lead more interesting lives. But, I deeply love my children and cannot deny that the experience is profound, my understanding of life broadened, and am a less selfish person as a result.
@@gracielchiu Sounds Ace, older parents have a richer comprehension of the pitfalls their children can face, which has to be benificial
You tease you 😂
@@Josh-tf9cr I understand his point, however I don’t think Christ himself would hope for tragedy in hopes of growth. The issue is “hoping” for bad things to happen. Obviously pain and suffering allow for growth but I personally think it’s better to hope they recover instead of hoping they deal with consequences.
I was raised by a narcissistic woman and I find that I meet too many narcissistic women. I'm great believer that "All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children." My greatest fear is to be trapped in loveless marriage and the children are the collateral damage.
That doesn't excuse ending your own bloodline like a dumbfuck.
@@Slavkleos
Bloodlines don’t matter. 😋
Same goes for women.
❤️
agreed! it`s awful and difficult to even see how wonderful family can be when your first, important years were ruined by family. Nowadays you dont wanna deal with any of that shit
would prefer option what guarantee: peace, no stress and anxiety all the time. Just saying pls do what you think its best for you. You know yourself better than anyone
I am a woman, aged 60, never married, no children. For me it was the right decision, it is the lifestyle that suits my personality. That being said, I encouraged all the young women who have worked for me through the decades, to remember that what they had was a job and only a job. We were all disposable at work. If what they wanted was a marriage, children and a family then they should save their money, plan ahead, find someone who they loved and respected and hand me their notice when they were ready to start their family. I could always replace staff. Their family could never replace them. Women fought for the right to choose our destinies. Wanting to be a wife and a mother is a fine choice and a service to our communities.
Wonderful sentiment. Your staff were lucky to have you
Women didn't "fight" for squat. You complained a lot in the streets. Hardly storming Iwo Jima.
@@tellercydeyou alright dawg?
@@tellercyde I agree that it has always been innate in men to give their lives to women and want to please them so no real fighting was needed. But no need to argue about that in this thread which has nothing to do with that.
Sounds like cope and backward rationalizing.
I’m 32, and as are my friends. None of my friends have children. My girlfriend, one that lasted 7 years, did not want children. And for the most part everyone’s reason seems to be general overwhelm and instability in the world. The ones that make enough money to feel like they could support a kid, are too busy working. And I think covid pushed people off the fence that were on the fence.
That is a sad state of affairs. They basically scared and lied to people and convinced them not to have children. People have lost sight of the future and leaving their family a legacy. No sense of honor and duty anymore. No idea of sacrifice for the greater good or country. Businesses and corporations have tricked people into working themselves to death and not having anything or anyone for their elderly years. Wow what a sad state of affairs. People with no concept of having grandchildren like they were blessed to have grandparents. The ugly side of capitalism is killing off generations.
So true.. the cost of living also has went up sooo crazy. Especially if you live in a major city. Back when your parents were young, they could just move out and get a “regular job” and be able to hold down a 1 bedroom by themselves, even with not the best job. But at least have a stable place of their own until they get to the point where they can get a better job/career and then a better place. You would even be able to have a girlfriend, have a kid, have an apartment on your own, with a regular job back then.
You cannot do that anymore in this society. It’s not that simple anymore. The “American Dream” has changed, the whole structure has changed. People don’t even want the American dream anymore nor does America push that rhetoric anymore. This is the new world that we live in. NWO.
Ohh, I fell hard from the American cedar fence.....
That's a good point. Also, you can take out a 30 yr mortgage and 9 months later your employer says "we are going in a new direction. your job is no longer needed". Point being, employers have no problem sacking people with less than 2 years on the job, regardless of productivity. I even knew an employee ask his boss if it was safe to buy a house and relocate, and the boss said yes, and he still got laid off within a year. He didn't even want to live in that city. The boss did not have any discretion about the layoff.
Personally if that’s how they feel then they shouldn’t be having sex.
I did a lot of thinking as a child. I thought constantly about everything. As I grew older I realised I couldn’t have everything I wanted in life (the perfect career, husband, kids). I knew I had to pick one or the other. I choose what my heart wanted and I decided to get married and have my first child by 25. Im now 36, have 4 children and still married to an amazing man. I am a homemaker. And yes, I am very lucky that I found someone so young that was right for me and who could support us all. Once my children are older, I will look into joining the work force to earn extra money.
I think you should understand that the chances of you re-joining the workforce after a long gap is unlikely. Fortunately your husband would have set aside money to compensate you for the lost years being a SAHM given the fact that you have no income .
There are many opportunities out there so don’t be discouraged. Many companies appreciate skills you have from running a household (eg negotiating with little terrorists 😊) good luck!
@@makeitcount2985 what makes you think it's unlikely that no employer will value her work ethic, people-skills, reliability etc.? Nothing stopping her from starting her own business either.
She will be fine with rejoining the workforce. A person like her is stable and has a good work ethic.
You are an awesome person 💓 You have priorities in correct order.
Why don't we talk about having children is much more expensive nowadays than decades ago?
@@mmecharlotte👏👏👏👏👏
Not that it was more expensive it’s that there’s more to buy
@queefstormiest
It is, that's a fact.
You may not know because you don't have any kids, and if you have, you are not taking proper care of them.
@@31tentaclesthe US government gives a $3600 income tax credit just 10 years ago it was about $500 credit… as a whole in our society we need a growing population cause they will take care of us at older age and keep the economy going.
@@gabrielgonzalez6456
OMG, what? Having children is not so they can take care of old parents, no offense but that's just fkd up, bro ❗️ if a man wants children so they can take care of him when he is old, he doesn't need kids, he needs a nurse (or she, whatever), children are people, not objects or property
Now if more kids could have fathers, than we would have something.
Well said. I know Jordan is emphasizing the positives of having a kid here (sorta) but it’s such a huge risk for a variety of reasons, and one is you can easily end up a single mother and if you don’t have that established career, you’re going to be fucked. Especially if you’re in the US where we tend to demonize single motherhood
@@GavinMichaels The us tends to "demonize" single motherhoods?!?!
are you out of your mind? the us is probably one of the places that pushes for single motherhood the most, saying things like "you don't need a man", "women can do it all" and other bullocks.
@@GavinMichaels Exactly. Well stated.
@@dude2410 Compared to other developed countries, we do demonize them. Look at other developed countries and the benefits they have for single mothers, and compare it to the US. The fact that "welfare mom" is an insult for many conservatives is telling. It doesn't mean we have ZERO programs to help single motherhood, but it means we've got a long way to go. And it makes single motherhood such a huge risk in the US. Also I think you're taking the phrase "you don't need a man" to mean that women don't need a partner in marriage, where (at least when I've seen it used) it's in reference to women having self-respect without feeling like they need to be hitched (without a child that is) when the norm for so long was if you're not married by such and such age, you're a failure, embarrassment etc.
That's the REAL problem. Well said.
Do NOT do it if you don't feel it.
Exactly, it does not effect anybody else, where we choose to reproduce or not, except the child being born into this hellhole of oppression and hate. But, if someone three kilometers from me chooses to have children, it will not effect me in the slightest. If they choose not to have children, it still does not effect me. I chose to not reproduce because I am not making more tax slaves for the wealthy-elite politicians and corporate zombies. I just can not be that selfish. However, this effects nobody but me and the politicians and corporations, which I care nothing for them.
It’s that simple
these feelings were manufactured...
@@christianb.4726
The feelings for wanting kids were manufactured? I guess that makes sense, given how annoying they are. 😉
It is absolutely the worst advice to follow your feelings, have you ever seen how the feelings of a women change about something in a 28 day period? The same person can have oposite feelings at different times of the month… that is why we have tradition and culture to guide us through the unknown
It’s expensive and a lot men have checked out.
You've got that right. Many of us have no interest in putting children into a country that will not follow the laws as promised. I'm not going to work hard to make my child a slave in our new society.
I need to find this man 😂
Its clear that human beings suck at BALANCE... Cultures constantly tip too far one way or too far the other way.
Look forward to seeing the full interview. Excellent visual and audio quality!
My g✌🏾🇳🇬
The societal momentum is hard to recognize before it’s to late.
@Ram Rod Its called "Sheit Testing" at the global level
That would require critical thought, which most people lack. That's why cultural institutions are so important, because people will mindlessly follow it
Its because we are only meant to be in a small community of 25-50 humans. That's when there is balance. Technology more so social media has flat out turned the scale upside down.
Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you HAVE to !
But it can mean you should do.
@@brianterence3211 …. No
@@brianterence3211 free will is a thing
@@brianterence3211
It doesn't mean you should
@@brianterence3211
Doesn’t mean you have to or should. 😋😘
You guys might want to look into dropping male fertility rates as well. Scientists studying the decrease in male fertility believe by either 2030 or 2040, 50% of all men will be completely infertile, they think it's due to microplastics but they are still trying to figure out for sure if that's what's causing it. so even if people wanted kids we are going to have a fertility crisis among men soon anyways.
I worked this out for myself. The ‘wanting it all’ of the 1980’s is actually having to do it all. I saw so many good, sensible women burnt out and thinking the problem was them. Cruel.
True. But society won’t notice this things that women go through.
Agree. If it’s between children and career, the later wins. A child is a huge commitment (when you care) and yet women are not compensated for this vital labour.
@@Coastpsych_fi99 that is a very sad way of looking at it. you care more about money than your own family glad your not my parent.
@@mike-pw8hi That is because your family will *die* if you don't have the money to feed them.
@@Coastpsych_fi99 ignoramus
But also our society isn't a child rearing society it's a work work work society. It's too fast paced and expensive to live.
@Pedro Ortega It's truly absurd.
@Pedro Ortega the real scary thing Pedro the Global Elites who run us ? they don't need 7.7 billion people to rule this planet they can easily lose 7.2 Billion and would be fine with just half a billion people so they are not worried about Population decline they will always have enough supply of cheap labor
The wealthiest people have:
-lower taxes on their primary income of wealth & sources: capital gains, dividends, and inheritance
-(through corporate positions or ownership) extreme political power through lobbyists, ownership of capital, and control over workers (Eg how much peer pressure gets applied for people at your office to vote for pro-business interests?)
The lifestyle of women now don’t want to get married. That is not the problem. The problem is that these same women will have children out of wedlock.chosing boys who are easy on the eyes and not young men who can be responsible. the biological fathers do not care or do not know because it’s a one time fling. So, they turn their attention to young men who at one time wanted them. These young men want nothing to do with them. Because it’s not their responsibility. These women had their chance and blew it. Now they want to prey on any simp to help them
I know, it's terrible...Freddo Chocolate Frogs have gone up 46% since the danpemic...awful.
It's amazing how many TERRIBLE parents are out there. My wife teaches K-1 and some of the stories I hear are frightening & tragic. Her students from affluent areas arrive on the first day in K fully prepared on the alphabet; they know how to count to 50 or 100; and they know all of their colors. It's so sad to hear the percentage of kids from poor areas who haven't been exposed to ANY of these three essentials of learning. What kind of parents raise a child for FIVE YEARS and never introduce them to "letters in the alphabet", or never teach them how to count to 4, or never show them the difference between Red vs Blue vs Green??
These kids arrive and have never heard of the letters "B" or "D" or "G", which means their parents have NEVER shown them a book or a newspaper or a magazine in their entire lives. Not only can't they count to 4, they've NEVER been exposed to the concept of "numbers".
In my twenties, I remember playing basketball & football with quite a few inner-city dudes ... some of them were INCREDIBLE athletes, but I was stunned to hear how many of them had dropped out of school in the 7th or 8th grade. Growing up in the suburbs, I never heard of anybody dropping out of high school (unless they got pregnant), but NOBODY just quit by 7th grade!!
However, many from the inner-city have a completely different view of the value of an education, and the WEIGHT of that falls right on top of their children. Dropping out of school by the 7th or 8th grade is certain Doom.
I heard an education expert recently comment: "in most cases, a child who hasn't learned how to read by age 9 (4th grade) will probably never learn how to read at a basic level". Wow, that was something I'd never heard but it makes sense ... obviously, there are exceptions but the odds are pretty low after age 9. By the 7th grade (age 12), those kids are SO FAR BEHIND their peers that they just give up and quit going to school. Really sad, but not that surprising when you think about it. Their parents couldn't care less.
Not everyone needs to be taught to read.
@@insomniacresurrected1000 … in medieval times.
That's what sesame street is for
I flipped at 34. I was so done giving my best to companies. Now I give my family my best and it feels correct. I still get so many job offers
You’re a stay at home Mom?
The best decision you will ever make, god bless you and your family 🙏🏽
Now you just have to hope a another country doesn't declare war and invade. Considering 65% of men are single and don't care anymore about careers, that family could be gone.
Christ and the Essene's believed that bringing children into the world was a sin and trapped the consciousness of God in physical matter and it was a great service to remain celibate and spare the consciousness of god the cruel experience of this world ruled by the demiurge Yaldabaoth.
@@eldenking2098 but how could the consciousness grow through experiencing Earth in a physical form if there were no physical body available to inhabit? thats why we come here to Earth...to learn about and spiritually develop our immortal souls by choosing to live in this temporary dream world of duality and pain....you need a physical body to do that don't you? Coming to Earth for awhile is the "fastrack' for our spiritual development...thats why we come here in the 1st place...the" iron must be made into steel" and tested in this world of illusion..in this world of "hard knocks"....
Complicated issue. The ones who should be having kids are putting it off, often till it's too late, and the ones who shouldn't ever have kids are cranking them out like assembly lines, often with multiple (unmarried) fathers and social services involved.
100% accurate, good comment man
Nailed it. Reminds me of "Idiocracy". We're living it.
@@IdExCS "I'm gonna f**k all of y'all!! Wooo!!!"
this is literally it! the issue isn't people in general choosing to have kids or not, its the people who SHOULD NOT be having kids and doing it anyway, THOSE people are the problem.
Yup. The smart people create social welfare programs and then decide not to have kids so all those resources just go into raising dumber kids 🙄
Who also is a 30-year-old with no kids watching this 🙋🏻♀️
I'm 28 with no kids.
@@blakkwaltz NICE!!!
Here are the cold hard facts : At 30 add your 'body count' to your age. The number you arrive at will be your percentage of never marrying. 30 years old , bedded 35 guys, 65% chance you will be alone from here on out. Body count : How many guys you've had sex with. BJs must be included in body count.
32 with no kids and no man.. but happy. I'll adopt one day.
Halla one right here ......shout from Johannesburg!!!!
Hmmm. I was raised being told that there was nothing more important than me putting my uterus to work and to do that by getting married young. NO ONE TOLD ME about the suicidal and homicidal thoughts. No one told me I should’ve had money set aside for mental health therapy and pelvic floor therapy. No one told me about the INSANE costs of formula if your baby can’t breastfeed. No one told me that I’d be better off having graduated college first and becoming financially stable with a job that has maternity leave would be SO much better. No one told me the dangers of sleep deprivation or that I should’ve had a village in place or that I should’ve taken my fertility more seriously. That bringing a baby into this world is hard and important work and that they didn’t ask for naive and unequipped parents. It is our job to bring our babies into a loving and stable household but no. That is not what I was taught. I was taught to not give these things any thought because god would provide. Guess fucking what. They didn’t. Me and my husband provided and have learned our lessons. We’ll be raising our son to be a helluva a lot more responsible because that is our job!!!
Woman finds out life is not easy
@@lonzolotto man finds out that he can’t control woman by using his alter ego (the god he made up). Has a meltdown on the internet lmao.
@@AandM8girl, the only one having a meltdown is you, screaming into the void “NO ONE TOLD ME” over and over.
As a man, even I know a career is not the most important thing in life.
The most important thing in life is what each individual decides it is. 😉
its even less important now that women are making their own money
I rather be a single than a single mom.
… and you can be a single mom, married or not.
good. get married before having kids
@@wade2boshRead the comment above you🙄
He is saying getting married is better than being a single mom with children born out of wedlock.
❤
22 years of education and in the last year of my PhD in STEM field, I realized I was missing a big time
My husband and I decided to have a child despite it being a very bad timing for me. But I realized the "right time" never seem to come. There is always something more to do, a paper more to publish, one more internship to go to, look for job post graduation, get the job and try to promote your rank as a newbie to get a fair salary, try harder because now you have even more responsibilities at hand in a senior role, etc, etc. I just figured I have to just draw the "stop" line somewhere and get back to my life. Now two months pregnant and I feel I just opened a new chapter in my life. I am scared, that is true. In my field, a few years away from market means you lose all your value, you turn into a useless old car. I have thousands of doubts about my future as a career woman, but one thing I never doubt; I am not gonna regret this. I just wish world was a bit kinder to women like me who decide to juggle the heck out of this seemingly "lose-lose" game.
Good luck. That is not an easy decision. I truly hope it works out for you ❤️
It's very commendable to take the route that to me, appears the more difficult one. You've done well, but every choice has a sacrifice.
You made the right decision. I had my first child at 35 and second at 37- they bring more joy and meaning to my life that I have never imagined was possible. I have experienced an unexpected renaissance in my midlife.
@@lucydoe1334 Glad it worked it out for you :)
I don't think there is a special brand of cruelty for women who prioritize children, it is just the reality of economics. Everyone wants to get the most productivity they can manage.
Men become 'disposable' and lose value in a workforce too. But because we can abuse our bodies for a longer period of time, it is different.
I was around in the 1970s and when I was at school there was a "don't get pregnant" mantra - that was always the thing going forward into teenage and adult life - this terror of getting pregnant accidentally - and that connected to the broader message that the world had a "population explosion" and that the fewer kids any of us had the better. Best option was none at all - but, if you had to - replacement level at two was just about acceptable - replacing you and your husband or partner (well, in those days it was mostly husband) when you popped your clogs. So I remember thinking as I entered my childless mid-30s "all I've ever been told is how NOT to get pregnant" but no one told us how difficult getting pregnant might be if left too late. So Jordan Peterson might not have heard that part of the history - but it was there, only few remember it now.
Yeah, blame society! As if you don't have a mind of your own to decide for yourself.
I've honestly never heard the phrase "popped your clogs" 😂
THANK YOU! Nobody every talked to us about HOW TO actually get pregnant if you're not 17 anymore and highly fertile. Lol it's not just happening any time at the month, even if the timing is right, the chance of 20% success is the highest it can get most of the time. Trying for over a year now with hubby, no baby in sight and it sucks. 😢 it's no fun anymore to try every month like crazy only for Aunt Flo to show up right on time every month and you think to yourself WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, NATURE?!
My religious zealot mother spewed that rubbish as well.
The bluff is called, now that some countries just may be heading for a population implosion, a reduced population is now a problem.
Sounds more like a pleasant dream than a harsh reality.
I came from Eastern Europe, where most children grow up in dysfunctional families. The typical father is alcoholic, violent, unfaithful to his household unemployed wife. Many of my friends (including me) choose to pursue a career and gain financial independence first before thinking about marriage. So if we ever end up in a scenario as our mothers have, we could leave the broken marriage and spare our children of the trauma we've suffered as children. Choices for the career first and later marriage (or no marriage at all) came from poor father/daughter relationships, which lead to deep untrust/fear towards men and marriage in general.
Good for you, Eastern European men are all over Ireland and they're really horrible to even us native women who pay taxes to give them free housing. They're really aggressive too
damn speak for yourself. Calling every Slav dysfunctional.
Thank you for putting this in. I am from a middle eastern family and I am a witness of how my mother is being patient with my father, who mentally abused the entire family for more than a decade. I see this in 90% of my relatives relationships as well. Unfortunately it is a cultural thing for many, that the wife is a mother and is not independent and has no other choice than staying with a crazy husband ( it also happens to be the other way around, but this video is about women). You never know how things go, so it IS important to get at least a decent education so that you can have a secure job to survive, if things go totally wrong. But I still want to finish my studies because it is my highest interest to be a scientist and can't wait to become a mother one day!
@@BOZ_11 excuse me, so if a man is totally unhappy with his wife after a couple of years, how is it then? „ well, he married her“? You never know people 100%, we don’t even know ourselves. And especially in other cultures, you don’t get the chance to „try“ someone first as it is in western countries. People most likely think that people all over the world have the same freedom in choosing their partners the way it is in western societies.
Smart men are walking away from whamen and marriage big time now, so don't worry. Enjoy your career and cats ...
I love this comment section because it has so many varying opinions.
People past 40’s with no kids & loving it.
People who had kids in 20’s loving it.
People who had kids later & regretting it
People who are unable to have kids and okay with it.
Guy who wants a family and kids but will likely never get chance due to not being wanted. Add that to the list.
And the 40s desperately wanted kids and devestated with her infertility person. Add that one, too.
There arw so many reason to be thankful
True. And they're all satisfied with their lives. There's a level of satisfaction with that.
@@PwerRanger01 I'm 34 and never been in a fulfilling relationship
Having kids doesn't guarantee that they'll be there when you get old
So true. Visit a nursing home sometime. 😢
that only happens in degenerate western/european cultures.
Nothing in life is guaranteed so why do anything at all in that case? What a flawed mentality
@@Gathalok death and taxes
@@rosahoran2480 yep it's a loser mindset. Why take risk in anything at all. Why start a business. Why live? Weak pathetic excuses.
My 70yr old male friend told me he's thankful his daughter has the same life opportunities as his son.
But he's not realizing that each will value those opportunities differently. The son will value education, work, and income a lot higher than the daughter. Why? B/c with those things he's attractive to the opposite sex. For her, those things will get a pat on the back at best or the envy of her peers. He will be fulfilled, she will not be fulfilled. You're seeing this more and more with young women today. They're starting to see they were sold a false promise but they're realizing this too late...
@ChadiusMaximus196
You really max out on wrong assumptions assuming she will be unfulfilled.
His daughter is an educated professional and an athlete, as is her partner.
There's no false promises whatsoever.
The 70 year old is a male simp
@@wyleecoyotee4252 What I have seen is the following. Most men are incels. The women aren't incels, but they aren't any happier because they're pingponging around from Chad to Chad. And this has reached the point where they *literally* do not care if you are cheating - seen that first hand. Also education has no effect on attraction, but steroids do, so we men end up taking stuff. Maybe your 45 year old "friend's daughter" is different, but let's be real brother, her father is 70, she's a generation older than us zoomers. She's old enough to be my mom, and has a "partner" instead of a spouse. How many kids does she have? Maybe she's happy, I hope she is, but Peterson isn't wrong.
I just turned 24 and see a lot of my High School classmates as Single Parents with one or even two children. I could not imagine how they can support themselves in this economy, especially having to divert most of their attention to take care of the baby.
exactly... one of my best friends is a single mom...she's in her late 40's but times are TOUGH for her. one of her kids is on college and is a total leech/spends so much unnecessarily. i feel for her!
@@EadsB7002 Leech 😂😂😂😂
That one of the main things that make if incredibly difficult. This economy. Its going to get worse. Having a newborn in this day and age is not a good idea.
Well you can ask them why they're simgle parents. It takes two people and two incomes in most cases in this economy in order to properly raise children. You're right, it's not fair for the child to have a single parent try to raise them all on their own, but investigate why they're single parents. I guarantee most of your friends had children out of wedlock, or have divorced their spouses over reconcilable shit. We need to reconstruct the family unit, but it doesn't start with the children. It starts with husbands and wives to form healthy marriages.
@@jacksonmills961 you're missing something there mate,in order to re establish marriage the way it's supposed to be , Religion has to take power again and dictate its laws and thus reconstruct marriage as God's wants it to be, unfortunately the west is anti religion and won't accept to have religion rulling,so people will just keep roaming as lustful animals and women will keep being sexually exploited and impregnated out of wed lock and be condemned to be single mothers for the rest of their lives.
Many women don’t have children because of life circumstances not always by choice. I’m 32, housewife, married for two years. I always wanted children, but three months ago my husband got aggressive type of cancer and fighting for his life. I can’t even imagine ever starting all over again with someone else. I might end up childless because of that but I can’t always control everything.
I'm sorry for your difficulties. I appreciate you sharing this though. For the conversation, yours is a good example of a situation where a woman does not have children despite wanting to do so.
I do hope the best for you no matter what, and for what it is worth, you are still plenty young if you did happen across someone. As you are able, it is always worth pursuing the goal if you wish. Or, if even you were to meet someone after 40, or thereabouts, adoption is always a great option for couples who want children but consider their age to be a risk factor for conceiving. In today's time, a couple in their 40s are plenty young to raise children even if biology makes it difficult.
Regardless, I wish you all of the best!
I have an example like this in the family, stay strong and good luck.
True, it is circumstantial for some. But you're much better off delaying in order to give yourself , your potential spouse, and your potential child the best shot at a stable life.
It's really hard out there nowadays, especially for single moms. And no shade....one of my best friends is a single mom. But she is struggling bigtime.
Do you think you have it worse than your grandparents?
@@hamzamahmood9565
Really inappropriate question. 😖
Nothing wrong with not wanting children. Some people know they aren't responsible enough, or they have other reasons. Maybe something runs in their family that they don't want to chance passing along. Whatever the reason, that's fine.
So then don't complain about why your country is taking too many immigrants from different cultural backgrounds who don't want to assimilate.😂
@@johanandersson5875 I don't
It’s a real challenge in the world today to build a family.
Finding a good man that hasn’t been destroyed by a narcissist,
Finding a steady income to support a family with,
Finding a safe place to raise a family in,
and finally finding all that in the shrinking window that is fertility nowadays.
I’m not saying it can’t be done but this world is decreasing the chances everyday.
I'm honestly sick of this argument. Do you think your parents had it easier? Or their parents? The more you go back in time the worse things were, yet still people were having children, and many too. Hell, my grandparents had 6 children starting from when they were younger than 20. During a time of war and unrest. I'm not american.
Everybody is waiting for the "perfect time" to have kids and I have no idea where this notion came from. Ask every parent and they will tell you, no time is ever perfect and you're never ready. It's just something you do and hope for the best. Hopeful risktaking has really declined in modern culture, everyone's always putting things on hold to wait for the perfect opportunity, perfect person, etc. Jeez...
@@dead7781
My ancestors weren’t facing potential extinction due to global warming. 😋
@@LucareonVee No but they where facing things arguably worse. World Wars, nuclear fallouts, economic chaos, famine, disease without any modern medicine, etc.
And honestly, your solution to global warming is to have less/no children? How is that gonna solve anything? This just goes to show how easily people today just want to quit. Instead of thinking of solutions on how to solve these problems, like so many bright minds are, most just want to give up. "Screw it, I'm not gonna have children".
But nobody is quitting because it's the "right thing to do", it's all just an excuse to be selfish and lazy. Every person I've met who speaks like this spends most of their time working meaningless jobs, drinking themselves to death on their free time, play video games the whole day, and just being incredibly useless. "There's no point in being productive if the world is ending. Let's just be nihilistic and give up on humanity. Let's just engage in hedonism, even if it's making us miserable deep down". Give me a break...
@@LucareonVee😅 tell em
@@LucareonVee they were facing invading armies which is an actual threat.
I’m 31 and feel quite pressured to have a child. People around me say “there will be no one for you when you’re old” and “just get a baby, even if you’re alone”. Yes, if I had a supportive and loving partner with whom I could raise a new human being, I probably would get children. But saying to get a child just for my own self is extremely selfish. 😢
Too old tbh dont bring in a deformed kid for selfish reasons
So not having a child hey. Will you give 40% of your income to families in poverty who are having children then?
Or will you enjoy your child free, responsibilty free lifestyle to buy all the lavish crap you have all the freedoms to buy?
Ive always taught the same. I would love to have a child, I already attempted once with a not so quality choice partner...Sadly it didnt make it. I was very excited to have someone of my own, someone that would love and need me. And I can love them back, but i always go back to your last sentence, thats extremely selfish of me. Not only that, its difficult to find someone that isn't so selfish or self centered to have a family. Times have changed and we should just accept it. There is no love or empathy, just the next day
@@glenbenton4855 I believe that there definitely is love ❤️ just start spreading it around you and it will “infect” others 😃
@@agathles You know, I don't want to be that "but i do" person but man, lot of people just take advantage of that and abuse you. Its the tale as old time but, I am tired of suffering due to my good heart and the ill intent of others just looking to see how they can step on you. Not to be negative
This is a beautifully shot interview. Great attention to detail, Chris. You're killing it.
Nice quality but the close up is awful
agreed
Location is nice, could be better exposed I think.
seriously, the lighting, staging, it looks better than anything you'd see on tv. impressive!
You're a legend
Find what makes you happy, it may be children, it may be freedom, it may be love and it maybe just loving yourself (good place to start though). As a women who is 41, with children, a decent corporate career, and a psychologist, I still need marriage and children to be an opportunity but I am not ready as yet. I want the opportunity but not at the loss of anything I have now. We all have our weighting of priorities in life. Find what yours are and lean in. I get terrified of missed opportunities, and guess what, that's both sides of this coin for me. But every choice and fork in the road will have both opportunities and consequence, we must bravely go into each one. Just mustering up the courage to make the decision.
Umm how about we get men who actually want to settle down and don’t have a sense of FOMO cause of these dating apps and social media. Women not wanting kids isn’t solely on them. We don’t want to be single and do it
As a young woman, I eventually had to ask myself the question: when I die what do I want to have, a family and husband who love me or a job that’s already replaced me? Money will go to the government if you don’t have kids to inherit. All your knowledge and best traits will die with you unless you have kids that you have raised to be responsible adults. A job title won’t love you back. I decided that I won’t ever chose a job or money over my family. I desperately want to have a loving family. I would like to have something to do outside my family that interests me, that I’m somewhat good at and benefits society at large. That would be the best life I can plan.
Edit: I didn't think I would have to say this because its obvious, but this is my opinion. I did not write this to convince anyone to be a stay at home mom, I wrote it because it's what I believe. I thought about this a lot, I used to think I needed a "career" or else I was lazy and a slave to a man. But life is not that simple, and motherhood is NOT oppression. It's a choice I make gladly, with full knowledge of what I am undertaking and what I am giving up. I'm not ashamed to say that I love my (future) kids more than any career. And once I am a mother, they will be my priority over myself. If you value a job more, then thats not my business nor do I care. It won't change my decision. After growing up in a pro feminist age and feeling ashamed of what I wanted, I no longer care what the main stream thinks about my desire for a family.
Problem is us men will not and not in increasing numbers accept women that age out and learn. We won't give our Prime based off what women find attractive to take care of and provide for women that squandered theirs. We aren't virgin or nothing, well some are, but we want your fertile prime or its not worth the risks.
You hit the absolute nail on the head. The funny thing is that all these women are prioritizing their education and career so they can be enslaved to an employer who will throw them away when they loose their value, due to age or other causes. I truly hope that these women spend the end of their lives childless and alone, so it can serve as a message to the rest of society that utilitarianism is nonsense. All your degrees, investments, and property is worthless. Your employer will throw you away in a heartbeat. Family is everything.
As another young women working in a very technical field I share your sentiment. My career is nothing more than a means for creating a stable environment, and if I someday have children, if it is in there best interest, I will be walking away from it.
@THE ZOLDICS yes. How the hell did you read what I said and take the exact opposite of what I said as my intent? That's what I said. Women want our Prime and young men are walking away because it's a raw deal.
@@mosesking2923 that's kinda harsh on women, but there is going to need to be a moment where something is understood more widely by them yeah.
Maybe it depends on the person, but I got pregnant at 29 and had my first child at 30 - I have no regrets. I didn't have a bad childhood, but I definitely had a few creases to iron out on my personality before becoming a mother. I wasn't ready in my 20s, and would have resented having a child of I had become a mother at 22 or something. So waiting until my late 20s/early 30s was the right thing for me.
Early and even mid 30s is a reasonable age to have children. My mom had my sis at 31 and me at 33. My grandmother had my aunt at 38 and my dad at 42.
Feminists try to drive this narrative that women don't need to think about their age and they can freeze their eggs, and they have plenty of time, etc. It's lunacy. There's definitely a time limit. On the flip side, it's frustrating how the more conservative types tend to drive the narrative that women need to have their children in their 20s. Its as though they think we hit menopause at 30. Both mentalities are flawed.
@@JessG_20 While you are correct, it's also true that men shouldn't have kids after their 40s. Testosterone plummets and autism becomes more prevalent.
@@VintageCardinal Agree, that's something else I was thinking but didn't mention.
@@JessG_20 It does seem like the narrative is either/or.
I had 3 kids in my 20's while working in aviation. And then I had twins at 40 years old last year. I've got to say, in my 40's, I realized I was too old and too tired to get through the pregnancy while holding down a job and definitely too old and tired to take care of twins and hold down a job. Eff that noise. But in my 20's I had a supportive husband and the energy and drive to hold down a job and be a mother. We shared parenting duties and I think we made a great decision going ahead and having kids in our 20's. 18 years of marriage and he's still wonderful.
The thing is, I did college but never saw my job as a career. I looked for a field that would provide well for me. I was in a male dominated field and didn't try to compete for promotions. I was never interested in working myself to death. I rejected overtime and was told I'm not a team player. I'd rather be a good parent than a team player.
@@runningfromabear8354 I can imagine having twins at 40 would be insanely hard. I was kinda shocked when I found out my grandma had my dad at 42. I've always felt the ideal age for me personally would have been 28 to 33..Sadly, I'm now 35 😂
I also notice that something else people don't take into account are the obesity rates when they're discussing women's ticking clock. Being overweight will usually affect fertility. From what I've read, overweight women tend to have much more difficulty getting pregnant. One of my older coworkers was telling me a couple years back that I need to "hurry up" because her own daughter who is 1 year older than I, started having issues with fertility around age 31 or 32. Well her daughter, who I've met, looks to be nearly 300 lbs 😐
This is a good thing. Women are getting smarter. Why would women want to force children into a society that will not even follow it's own laws and social contract?
High income, great prestige, no one at home to love at the end of the day.
Equals a miserable old lonely women 😂 love it ❤
Gen X here. We were all told by our parents to wait until our 30s to have children. Society shifted and wanted our generation to experience a bit more life, become more financially secure, and mature enough to have that kind of responsibility. Now Society wants to reverse it for the next generation?!! However, the next generation faces never owning a house. Prior to this a family could be raised on one income and own a decent house.
I can totally understand why having children is becoming less achievable.
Don't think to much about material goods. There will always will be a solution, especially as people are dumping perfectly fine goods for nothing as second hand goods. The most important and beautiful things don't cost money: loving parents, time spend outside in the woods etc.
@@schulze6758there will always be rich people throwing away perfectly fine things. That doesn't mean a poor family can afford them, even thrifting, and the hours that costs to find useful stuff before the flippers do. Time outside in the woods is free, until you have to purchase the woods or land, or spend the time you dont have, while working to keep up payments on a shelter you'll never own. This really reads very out of touch with anyone being able to afford kids. but it shows you 'dont think too much about material goods' and don't know why anyone struggles
@@schulze6758 Oh yeah, because there are so many great jobs and affordable homes to purchase near "the woods" you'll send your children to play in...
You got! I told my daughter that you really can’t trust men to be providers or protectors anymore and men are just losing their minds. Instead of acknowledging that there is a problem with men wanting 50/50 now is when we look at alllll the responsibilities a woman must endure in order to be wifed plus having to work just as hard, marriage seems unfair for women. Now men use shaming tactics to force women to chase them. Makes no sense. I have 2 kids was married and stilll lived as a single mother. I would have never signed up for this shit if I knew that my husband was just going to find someone younger and dumber than me.🤷🏽♀️ oh well you live and learn the lies.
@@schulze6758 second hand furniture and clothing can NOT solve the problem of average house these days costing TEN average annual incomes, while 30 years ago it was only THREE.
I’m from an impoverished single parent household where I wasn’t valued and treated as a burden with frequent abuse. My focus in life has been on survival. Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous. If a man cannot commit to me, I’m not having children without the necessary support to do so. I’ve broken the cycle of abuse and poverty and remain happily single and childless. I do have pets though.
Most of time women don't have an issue dating unlike an average guy who doesn't even get looked at as potential even if a good man. As women have it so easy and have many options then it is the women at fault for chasing wrong men if can't find decent one.
" Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous." Look for different type of men and a different setting. I know so many guys my age that wanted exactly that in their 20s.
You seem like an extremely self aware, intelligent person. I think you will have a happier life knowing that you’ve made your choices so consciously, based on how well you know yourself. I think having another being to care for is an innate part of the human experience. However, there’s no reason you can’t offer that care and love to a pet, who will no doubt have an amazing life.
Before my husband and I met he had 2 children. I'm 35, no children, never wanted children. Now that I'm getting older, I want children and my husband doesn't want any. Haha
I'll be ur pet
Sounds fine to me, already 41 and still baby free since ‘93 🙌 I just don’t want them, either of them , the men or the babies 😂🙌😂🙌😂
The problem truely is the fact that women are treated very badly if they are dependent on someone.
Education is barely a tool to be able to stand up for ourselves.
Women would love to have children and support/raise a family if we are treated respectfully.
The data you are pointing out is the result of unfair treatment and disrespect.
One can agree that women dont require to have careers, if you are teaching men to be fair and respectful.
Women trying to have careers is terribly exhausting. You cant even imagine what we have to endure. Things come to/agree for men easily in this regard.
So just try to keep your sisters/mothers/daughters/friends safe, respected and comfortable, irrespective of their career choices, while they magically do what they can do.
“Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too.” - Mark Twain
I was force fed that i must want a carrer and that raising kids was a lowly position. I was told that if my ambition was to be a mom and raise kids that was a lazy, lowly, stupid choice.
Beautiful quote. The question then becomes how do you as an individual define your own ambitions and your own greatness? From a very young age, I was discouraged from dating, discouraged from getting married, discouraged from having children... by people who genuinely cared about me and thought they were helping me. I love to work and I don't think I could ever be fully satisfied staying home and raising a family, but many many women are and I definitely think it is a worthwhile aim to pursue if you can be fulfilled by it. But by the same token, I don't think I could ever be 100% satisfied with my life if I pursued only my career and never had a family. My marriage is the most fundamentally important thing in my life, and now that I am pregnant with my first child, I already feel my priorities shifting. I cannot imagine ever intentionally choosing not to have this child or this family, even if it meant giving up my career. Luckily, I found a man to be my partner in life who wants nothing more in the world than to stay home and care for our children so I can continue to pursue my higher education and my career.
the problem is a good chunk of really successful people were REALLY lucky. And then they have the nerve to say, just do your best and you'll be successful too, when they themselves just got there by chance.
@@jebes909090 yap, that's true. Having the right ideas and being smart you can still get stuck in a lot of places
i really like that quote. it's short, yet so clear and important
I am 58 now but had my first child at 33, second at 38. I didn’t get the message that my career was the most important thing. It was more that “you better have a way of supporting yourself in case something happens to your husband, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed”. The economy was very rough for people my age and we ended up slacking and then grad school until things got better. Which they did. But the other internal urgency was that I wanted to make sure I had stability in my life before Bringing kids into the world. Finally, it was vitally important to me to have children and practice selflessness to raise them. Have to say it was not about patriarchy.
Adding: just because you’re a woman does not make you a natural for mothering. Some of us logical women have to work up to it .
can you please tell some advice to have kids at 38. Did you take vitamins or just live and let nature do the job or went under special care to get pregnant quickly?
@@alejandrarios4290 nothing special really. Think I had to lose some weight because we tried the year before without success. So, lost maybe 20 lb and then did the usual procreative sex. Lol
@@alejandrarios4290 every doctor tells you to just have regular sex. apparently regular sex every week for two years increases your chances by around 90%
You sound very smart and cautious :)
@@leedlbagginshield8492 thanks - you would be right about that. A lot of women my age delayed children. We all had to raise ourselves and didn’t want to do that to the next generation
When financial stability is uncertain, some people simply prefer not to bring children into the world to suffer.
Poor economic times are not a new thing. One can always say "right now" is not a good time to have children. Financial stability is never guaranteed.
Have children People! Love them and teach them your wisdom so they can carry on when you're gone!
They need more servants in the coming years.
It’s a welfare state. Survival
Has never been easier. Have fucking kids.
ppl had kids during hungers world wars colonization etc
our generations just lazy entitled and dont care
@@dennisdill5771 There's always a risk. A price to pay for failure. Many families have failed and they paid the price. Some of it heart breaking. Too many people have a Disneyland image of marriage and preach to "just do it".
If youre not financially stable, dont get married. You'll pass the seeds of failure onto your children or set the family up in life or death situations.
- that's good! There are now 8 billion consuming and polluting humans on this small planet, and the number is growing steadily. How long do people think this can go on???
I would have loved to have had kids but never wanted to do it without a reliable, faithful husband.
Thank you. Ditto. JP doesn't seem to consider that some of us women haven't found someone suitable....
@@LittleMissHoop JP hasn't considered much. His views on women are plain shallow.
I belive he married his teenage girlfriend so he couldn't possibly relate to the minefield that exists for women simply finding a suitable, reliable male mate of good conscience and integrity as he's surrounded by a sea of very lost sycophantic men as religious organisations have left voids in men who don't fit the apex of capitalistic achievement. I believe he does have compassion and insight and appears quite an interesting lecturer but he lacks so much insight when it comes to what a woman might choose in life. The majority of people would ideally like a mate, whether male or female and rich relationships (whether this includes children or not but the intensity and bonds of having children is undoubtedly amazing yet also incredibly exhausting and stressful). Why for example might he not have said to his female lawyers, you can always adopt children and experience the beauty of child rearing in this way, and have you considered where you could apply your highly sought after skills to careers or your own company where you aren't working to exhaustion? Isn't that a rational argument? Or does everything in his narrative always lead to marriage (where the statistics are 50% in Divorce!). How is that rational?
@@LittleMissHoop He covers that and a lot of why. But hypergamous tendencies and having the deck stacked are preventing a lot from finding men who can be better in enough ways to be acceptable. Irony that hypergamy dies on the hill of entitled demands, love seeing it.
@@LittleMissHoop And just out of curiosity, do you really think you haven't had a lot of good options? The market abounds for young women, just justifying choices subjectively prevents a lot of good options from being taken while seeking best. It's a self inflicted wound in most cases imo.
Some of us know we would not be good mothers, some of us have mental illness and other struggles so it would definitely not be healthy or smart to bring a child into the world. Secondly, relationships are not what they used to be. Men and women no longer value long-lasting relationships anymore, with the rise of hookup culture it has taught us to treat relationships like flavors we can pick and choose from when in reality none of us are exactly easy to love. It takes real work and commitment to make things work, even in the best of relationships.
I could be a good mother even with my personal trauma and challenges. I just don’t want to spend 18+ years of my life living round someone else’s clock. I can’t even stick in a job for too long. I didn’t choose to be born so I just want to experience life for myself through my eyes at my pace with all my senses without worrying someone is depending on me and my choices ✍🏻
Children have an amazing ability to force people to grow up and be less selfish because someone else relies on you to live.
One of the major issues in modern western culture is that we value being young and free with no responsibilities and, ultimately no limits/hedonism. I look fondly on my youth, but as a 40 year old father of two with a loving wife; my life is infinitely better and I’m a better, more responsible person (and thus better for society) than when I was in my 20s.
We need to encourage all parties to be more personally responsible with our choices in life, and get people to grow up.
@@lt.2992 at least you're honest about being selfish.
@@BENR8108 not always... plenty of selfish and useless parents out there...
Yup.. people never recognise there is alternate to incel.. femcel. Annoying that always incels get the heat and femcels are forgotten. 😔
Great clip let me ask you something unrelated. How did you get your forearms so big? I always wanted forearms like a blacksmith.
I can't be the only one who sees this as a workplace culture problem. People shouldn't have to choose between work or having a family. People getting burned out at work after a decade doesn't seem like an argument against wanting a career, either. And frankly, why is it women feeling like they have to choose between work and family? Wouldn't it be so much better, both for the parents and for the kids, if both parents worked way fewer hours and spent tons of time with their kids?
I’ve never wanted children as a child. I’m 39, don’t have kids, and gladly don’t want kids. Having a family, children isn’t for everyone. Stay blessed
Exactly! THIS is what's hapening, people are CHOOSING not to reproduce. Period.
@@clublulu399 is there any science to prove that or ...?
@@clublulu399 No, you should get out and talk to people more. You're making a silly assumption. Women are not hardwired to have kids, they just can if they want to. It's an option. Some of us don't want anything to do with it. Once you have kids, you can certainly understand the downside to it.
I've never wanted kids (I'm 38). I have a huge, dysfunctional family, and while I strive for and maintain a healthy lifestyle it's never been a desire for me. I've been with my husband 24 years, and we both love children but we are more than content loving our many neices and nephews. Don't let people make you feel like something is wrong with you. If it's in God's plan for you to have children, you will have children.
@@LapisPebble Humans are not bacteria whose only purpose is to reproduce mindlessly, many great minds of history died without children and they are still remembered, while the average family and parent is unremarkable.
I'm one of the women who have made it to 50 (I'm 54) and never had children. I'm ok with it. I'm naturally a happy person and one of those over achievers you describe. For context, I'm divorced. I have 3 adult step children who I love, great job and lots of friends and hobbies. We do exist.
Not only do you exist, you are also doing great. There is no formula to life and we should stop searching for one.
Same here, I'll be 40 next year and I'm still deciding if I want a puppy.
Well step children are a way to have children so, God bless
9:32
I'm childfree and so is my husband. It's even better if you can be stepchild-free!
Doesn’t always have anything to do with a “Career”. Has to do with personal choice and the actual true desire to have kids or not have kids.
so 50% of woman dont want kids is that what you saying?
Most men are not having children and they don't understand that women have a body clock and then when it on the edge suddenly you want to have kids ...it doesn't work ...andbwhy should women alone should be blamed for not making the men have kids with them ?? It's absurd how everyone ask why don't you change his mind ?? As if it's my fault...
People know whether they want kids or not. People choose and pick or people who don’t want kids or don’t share the same values with. For whatever reason.
Are you suggesting that women should convince me to have children with them? If I were in a relationship with a woman, I’d get a vasectomy before ever having sex with them.
I'm 28 and I'm so tired already without even having kids. Having kids would literally destroy me.
Same 😅
yeah riding the cockcarussel must be exhausting
Having a child is the best thing you can have in the world.
@@duncanhewitt6557
I’d rather have my trips to Japan. 😋
It's not for everyone. But, think about the topic enough to the point where you know you won't regret your decision in the future
I thought the lack of children had more to do with people simply not being able to afford children given the current state of the economy? People in the newer generations can't keep up with inflation, outrageous medical costs, rising housing costs, all alongside student debt. My partner and I consciously decided not to have kids for this reason alone, despite the fact we'd like to. We just can't afford it, even in our 30's.
Edit: We just had one child recently and are looking to grow our family, but our 830 sqft home can't accommodate. We decided to not have a 2nd kid since we can't afford a new house with the current housing prices. I guess economics strikes yet again.
Edit #2: My partner and I are now divorced due to financial hardship straining our marriage after having a kid. She wanted to be a stay at home mom, but it wasn't possible on one teacher's income. Suffice it to say this ultimately drove a wedge between us. I feel so angry and frustrated. I hate this economy.
that sounds terrible :( are you located in the USA?
My experience (60+ mother & grandmother) is that we can always find a way to afford the things that really matter to us. So unless you are truly destitute, don't let a modest income or lifestyle stop you from becoming a parent. I can recall some pretty lean times raising my son and yet I have never once regretted it. We always found a way and he turned out very well.
Jordan peterson is very biased and traditionalist in these aspect and can only see one view when it comes to child bearing despite the fact that he prides himself on being open minded. Sometimes I pity his wife. He's one of those people who is so used to being the smartest person in the room, he becomes closed minded to external perspective on things.
funny how poor people have more kids
@@nancybatch7007 That is a disgusting way of encouraging people to raise children in povery.
Not every one is a lawyer or in the professional field. I had 4 children last two at 33 and 41.
Women are childless and single by choice. Women dominate in college now, women are more often becoming the breadwinners of the household, in a growing number of places women out earn men by a decent amount. This isn’t the 50s anymore where women were forced to settle. Women now have a choice, they’re financially independent and well educated and that’s an amazing thing. Women now are CHOOSING to stay single rather than settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards. And that scares men - it’s men who are more isolated and depressed than ever, not successful single women in their 30s. And often the response to this reality is to make these claims that it’s women who will end up being miserable and alone to try to scare or force women back into settling rather than men making changes, stepping up, and getting with the reality of the modern day world and wanting to be the kind of man women want to be with. Do women often want kids and a family? Yes, sure. Many don’t but many do. But they’re not as willing to settle anymore, and rightfully so.
Thanks. What I don't understand for both genders is this endless focus on relationships. There is this huge world to explore and it is as if it almost does not exist except during vacation time! As a boy, from age 5, I only wanted to explore Nature, and even though I would eventually have a strong sex drive, I did not let it change my life path. I seemed to be the only one in the neighborhood who was a birdwatcher and also studied the trees and flowers. Seems pretty simple to me that there are so many other species to be interested in. I am not scared that women have more power. That's great. And it also takes the pressure off me to provide you with power (resources)! What I do find ironic is that this setting of women free has led to many women having to work harder than ever. But really, why have we led such limited lives?
I'm 36 and I will never have kids because I have already been worn out raising my mother and other siblings. Still am. I'm tired. Some of us just have fucked up lives. It's not fair but I guess I must accept that I will never have my chance on the "competence hietarchy". Dammit. That just sucks. 🙄
You're not alone, believe me. I didn't have the physical or emotional energy left for kids by the time I was grown, and possibly owing to the dysfunction of my family of origin, haven't had the urge to reproduce. Life's complex, and there are many ways of being a mother that don't involve giving birth. There will never be a shortage of orphans and neglected young people in this world - something my teaching job showed me. On the flip side of things, I 've seen so many women who've poured their everything in to their kids, only to be deserted by them, and are left feeling confused, hollow and so far out of touch with themselves that don't know what to do with their freedom. Peterson fails to factor any of that in.
If its any comfort, I will never have children either.
Never say never. God has blessed many women with children later in life. You may feel tired, but if you find the right husband he will share the burden with you and make it easier for you.
@@ccrow3355 Most people don’t believe in traditional marriages anymore. The divorce rate is astonishing. What happened to being bound to death by grace and love in God’s presence?
@@ExplodingVolcano777 like I said, find the right husband
My God... if women didn't want to have babies before watching this video they are going to be less likely to now. Shiver.
having Kids are waste of time and energy, do job till your 70 and then have fun with retirement 👍
. I’m 32 and my mother had me at 40. She tells me I have plenty of time to conceive. I am not sure I want a child but I also wouldn’t put it completely off the table with my partner. I feel like he’s putting the fear of god into me when I watch these videos.
@@tessamarie8698 What you said makes no sense, why would women be paid more just because they're women?
Yep. The more I watched this type of content the more I become certain children are not for me. I’ve always been vigilant about birth control and looking into being sterilised. Would love to hear his wife’s perspective. Its easy to want kids when you don’t get pregnant, give birth or have to give up your career.
@@Coastpsych_fi99well the overarching point of these videos is that eventually the shiny career kinda loses it's novelty and appeal. And when that inevitably happens for some women, they find it's too late to turn back the clock. It's not pleasant and I don't wish that on anybody. Some ppl truly aren't for the parenting life. Either way, know yourself.
I praise women for putting their careers and themselves first. This has allowed men to be free to pursue themselves. Men, don't get married, just do yourself.
What a loser.
I am a woman lucky enough to have three kids, the first I had at 38.
I was a successful counselor for CEOs before leaving everything in favour of marriage and family.
Women should do whatever they want with their lives, but they should do so with eyes wide open to the risks and the price they'd pay in each path they take.
I never regretted becoming a housewife, and I was soooo lucky to have healthy children at my older age.
If I knew the truth revealed here, it would have saved me some difficulties. Having a child at old age is very hard, abd and I don't know if I'd be fortunate enough to meet my grandkids.
I love being childfree but we're all different. Respect to parents and childfree people.
Isn't childless correct? Like you don't call homeless people home free... Asking cos eng not my native.
@@kiroshki I've mostly heard "childfree" so I think that's the widely used term
@@kiroshki But you day lactose free for lactose intolerant. Childless is general. Yes, childfree people are childless. But childfree adds meaning. They are free of children, because children would be a bab choice for them, a burden.
@@kiroshki childfree is the term used for people choosing not to have kids. If you search in Google you will find a lot about it
@@kiroshki Not the same :) Childfree means they are free of children. They are not less of anything, in fact having children would make their life lesser. Homeless people mostly tend to want homes but struggle to access them, hence the home*less* part. Homeless people can also call themselves nomads, gypsies etc. They crave the freedom of no fixed abode so they would be deemed, in a way, homefree ...just different terminology is used.
Unfortunately, my husband and I are infertile. We've tried to conceive for 11.5 years. I have a sister and lots of friends over 30 in the same boat. Many of us started trying in our early to mid twenties. 1 in 6 couples are infertile. So while some of this is caused by people choosing not to have children, there is also a rise in infertility.
What country are you from?
@@honkhonk6443 USA
Did you take hormonal birth control throughout your teen years? Are you vegan? Not asking to be offensive. Asking out of genuine curiosity. I'm so sorry that you're in this position. I can't even imagine.
I would go to a Traditional Chinese Medicine practice and see what they can do for you. They have herbs and acupressure that can help with infertility.
Not to be glib, but if you're wanting kids, there are plenty of opportunities for adoption and tax and other governmental benefits to help with costs.
so it will automatically mean Men are childless too cause women and men are equal in population
women in Afghanistan are not left single and childless are they in better reality ?
I honestly just think that it is a combination of life being less and less affordable and the fact that more and more people are coming to the realization that having and raising kids isn't the end all be all goal of a fulfilling life.
It never was. People just had no birth control, hence the high number of pregnancies.
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 so ban birth control
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 exactly people act like everyone wanted to have tons of kids before but there was barely any choice for most people given their was no birth control
@@Coastpsych_fi99 and you forget that a lotta people just go along to get along. peer pressured to have a family.
Well what happens when there isn't enough young people to support the retired population?
It’s hard to find decent people these days. I’ve read a lot of comments of men blaming women and women blaming men but the reality is that society is sick and it’s hard for anyone looking for a genuine connection to find someone in the age of tinder and hook up culture.
80% of men are not even engaging in hookup culture so there you go
@@sleeper9638 just because it's easier for women to participate in hook up culture doesn't mean that we all do. you're just going to deepen the divide if you keep blaming women for society's problems. complaining about women in a UA-cam comments section isn't going to help you get a date either. I'm in my early 20s and none of my friends sleep around. All in committed relationships or looking for a committed relationship. Lots of good women out there. Maybe if you change your attitude, you'll find one.
@@natashaw3244 Stop projecting your own singleness on me. I never blamed anyone, I just pointed out a basic fact and you go projecting your own problems and behaviours onto me. If all your friends are in relationships and you're not then it sounds like you're the one that needs an attitude change
@@fruitybubble3591 I came under her comment? What does that mean?
make the search without hypergamy.... the options will expand a whole lot
I’m fearful of pregnancy since my mom explained it to me when I was 6 (27 now).
The thought of having something growing inside me for 9 months, then having to be pushed out of a small cavity is insane. Then add the risks, the pregnancy symptoms etc. hell no.
Is it natural? Yes. Is it normal? Also yes.
Why would I want someone to experience that pain? It’s brutal.
Narcissist.
You have issues if you think of reproduction this way. You're just selfish. Now your society will fall as a result of you.
If you want a child but not be pregnant, you can have one via surrogacy. Seems a lot of female celebs are doing this now. If I had chosen to have kids I would've needed to do that because of injuries sustained in a car accident. But I decided not to have kids for several other reasons.
@@lvega5606 it’s the same thing for me. I don’t want anyone to experience it, it’s painful in my eyes. It’s okay if someone else wants it, but coming for me, not that much.
But I know there is the adoption route, that would make me feel better, even if most men don’t like adoption
@@ROForeverMan how
I am honestly wondering if that man even came across a childfree by choice woman. They exist, believe it or not. One of them, age almost 43, is writing this comment while watching this clip in pure disbelief.
They also don’t seem to think childfree men (like myself) exist.
Why isn’t he worried about the amount of childless males at this age? It takes both to have kids.
Men don't become naturally infertile with age, unlike women.
Because men can father a child at an older age. Women can’t really do that so it puts time constraints on them whereas men are not under that same kind of pressure.
@@outdoorsman909 if a man has a child at age 60 he will only be around for a very short time in that child’s life, if a man has a child any older, he will likely die when that child is a teenager and not be there to raise him
@@outdoorsman909 men shouldn’t have kids past 35. Not only do men die younger than women there’s also increased risk of them having children with disabilities such as Down syndrome, etc.
@@marianakalfigervi6024 women have a small fertility window for healthy natural pregnancy. Biologically from mid teens until 35, socially accepted from 18 until 35, otherwise miscarriages, autism, disability, and ADHD become risk factors for the child as they develop in the womb due to declining fertility in a woman.
I am 48 and have never felt maternal. I didn’t fight the urge to have children in pursuit of a career, I just never felt the urge. I lead a happy and fulfilled life. A bigger mistake would have been to cave into societal pressures, and have a child because ‘that’s what women do’ I meet a lot of people who should probably never have become a parent. There are enough people having children for it not to matter if I don’t. I too have witnessed old people who have effectively been abandoned by their kids, and their sadness is crushing. I believe in freedom of choice as much as freedom of speech. You don’t tell me how to live my life, and in return I won’t tell you how to live yours.
beautiful
"I meet a lot of people who probably never should have become a parent" all of this 100%.
So having kids is a bad thing? You people are weird
@@carolcity1919 no it’s a choice
@@carolcity1919 Nah, it's the people who can't understand that not everyone wants or values the same things in life that are weird.
I just watched this and need to digest it for a while. My knee jerk reaction as a female is complicated. I was told if you want to be an artist as a woman, don't have kids. I have had many bad relationships, whether it was them or me, i will never truly know. I also realized at some point i am disabled and so a child would suffer a great deal. I am now childless and i don't know if it is good or bad.
I’d say it’s what you make of it. Just like life in general. Not having children is tough for people who wanted them, but that still doesn’t need to define you.
Most men aren't working long hours anymore. They already ask why, most men are not workaholics.
It’s also getting more difficult for couples to get pregnant due to endocrine disrupting compounds in our daily lives.
@@just_me6392 tons.
@@just_me6392 Andrew Huberman is probably a good start for literature. He has podcasts on UA-cam that you can watch and learn a lot from.
Not only that but due to many plastics and other chemicals getting into our foods certain health issues are becoming more common. Testosterone levels has been abnormally dropping for years. Lots of stress out on people decreases fertility in both sexes
@@just_me6392 Infertility rate is increasing drastically on the Imperial core, don't know why that is the case but the decrease of testosrone is in effect as well.
I think the birth control they give a lot of women is going to accidentally make like 25% of them barren. You should read the side effects of those arm implants they get. I was worried for the future of like every girlfriend I’ve ever had.
I never married or had children and I am 52. I knew from a really young age I didn’t want any. I came from a very violent neglectful environment and didn’t want to make the mistakes my mother made. Having overcome deep loneliness in my 30’s and 40’s I have no regrets. I thought at one point I would like to marry or have a partner but I’ve spent so much time alone that I probably couldn’t do it and I feel that my time has come and gone. I still would like to regain control over my health - I regained weight that I had lost - and be happy and enjoy the life I have so be it alone. Not everyone has the opportunity in this life to be partnered and that’s ok. I’m at peace.
Wishing you the best!
At what point did either of them stop the video and say "Kelly Smith should have [insert your trigger]"? Never. This isn't about you. Stop being emotional. He's speaking in general.
@@johnnyBrwn of course he's speaking in general, but anyone can comment on the video and share their perspective/experience. Following your line of thinking, this person's comment isn't about you, so why would you reply to it? Also, how is this person being emotional? You seem to be way more triggered than them.
@@aleksandrasuso2043 Nice recursion trick, I refute her assertion underscoring how she's making a general statement self referential then you steal that and apply to me but your logic is flawed. I didn't refute her by using myself as a case study as she did. She's emotional because she took Peterson's claim personally, hence her self- reference.
@@johnnyBrwn Mansplaining at its finest. I still don't get what's wrong with sharing a personal story on a UA-cam video, considering that the person never even undermined any of the points made by Peterson.
Over and out.
Women haven't even experienced true freedom or equity in the western world yet, but this guy knows why we feel the way we feel? And isn't that sad?
How condescending.
He’s afraid of men losing control over women. That’s the real point here.
What do you mean women havent experienced? You and any of us never lived in a times where the other gender was opressed.
You are literally delusional hahaha.
''There was inequality 50 years ago, so now women who never faced such inequality, can take it out the world!'' Stupid.
''but this guy knows why we feel the way we feel? And isn't that sad?'' You dont feel jack shit. You are making up problems in your head. Get some help
Bitter?
Where did he say he knew how and why women feel the way they do? He gave his observations of how women tend to behave under certain circumstances.
Oh right, zero freedom, but you get to stab anyone 200 times and serve no jail time, how oppressed!
Women are like spoiled rich kids who would still complain that their parents didn't buy him the exact car he wanted
My little sister just turned 27 and I want nothing more than for her to find the best man possible to love her and treat her right and to be the best husband and father than he can be for their future family one day! ❤
Is that what she wants?
There are more options than just 80 hour workweeks or children. Life can be so much more
nahh u would look much cuter taking care of my seeds
@@lordgreed1 comments like these is why dudes keep saying having kids is so great. Y'all don't even take care of your own spawn. Being a dad sounds great indeed 👍🏻
I love my money, complete freedom to do whatever I want when I want, sleep and a stress free life 👌🏽 28 with no kids and I am genuinely happy
You are not alone! Childfree and happy!
same. 30something female here and married to 30something cf man (vasectomy!) and we love it! both have 6 figure careers in healthcare.
we have just two dogs and a large amount of time to spend together doing things we love uninhibited live traveling, hiking what ever else we can think of.
10/10 recommend the CF life.
Don’t worry you will be miserable eventually
@@alexbrestowski4131 lol keep telling yourself that bud
@@amandai.1334 you will forget about this comment by the time you’re 40 but realize I was right. If not 40 then 50. If not 50 then 60. You will be completely alone one day and get relegated to a retirement home cause there will be no one to care for you. But we all have different regrets
I can babysit, even teach children but I can't see myself being responsible for another human's well-being full time. It's hard enough when I'm just the backup help.
The problem is the laws make it unattractive for men to marry and have children, with women filing almost 80% of the divorces. Only a fool would take the chance.
Sometimes it’s as simple as luck. I never found the right partner, and that is unlucky. I’m glad I didn’t bring a kid into the world with the wrong man.
This. 31 F. Same here.
Same! I never found a partner worth having kids with. Then at 30 years old my kidneys started failing very fast. That option is off the table for me now. I feel like it is a no win situation. I get criticism for being childless and told i will die miserable. Yet, I'd also get criticism if i had made the choice to have a child knowing my partner wasnt going to be a good parent. I'm fine with my life. I have friends and family that i enjoy spending time with. I am financially comfortable. I like JP but i wish he would understand its not so black and white.
If you're so picky that you're eliminating yourself from the gene pool, then you're too picky for your own good.
Same. 37.
You listened to all the feminists 😂😂😂 enjoy growing old with your cats.
You overlooked all the good men over the years. This is your karma.
I’m a woman who doesn’t have kids & doesn’t want kids. I know & have met a lot of women who are also childless by choice & plan to stay that way. It’s got nothing to do with career/work, there are a million other reasons too long to list here.
Nope you clearly need to dedicate your life to a man and have all the children. Jordan Peterson just told you, he is very smart. He says stuff and you just know it's right, even if the sentence makes no sense, or is completely out of context, and is filled with presuppositions of what all women are lied to about.
I just made the same comment as you. Every discussion on this topic seems to imply women make this decision for career purposes.
All of the women I know that are childless didn't make this decision for their careers.
Peterson says the same thing in every interview on this topic
That's your choice and that's perfectly fine, you probably have some good reasons.
But I have asked two women why they want to remain childless and it more or less boils down to their disdain for men.
They had a bad dad or ex-boyfriend and they extrapolate that experience to all men.
I definitely feel this when dating women, where I'm a bad person by default. I eventually give up trying to form a connection with these women because they are so guarded and pessimistic. The experience is not fun.
I want to point out also that economic status isn't really a good reason considering places like Sweden has the most safety nets and yet they have even less children. It shows that regardless of a good economic situation women still wouldn't have children.
Women having less children is probably more of a multifaceted cause including obesity, pharmaceuticals, and culture.
@@AnelaEllaEh 95% of men do accept that. We're not making you do anything. It's just a shame that you use your newfound education, wealth, and equity all for yourselves instead of the next generation (something men cannot do without women). It's just human nature to be selfish and that's 100% understandable. But the tragedy is, it's 100% morally accepted.
Women need to prepare for their own change of heart. There are some women that do living happily every after without children. But, the majority eventually change their mind. Women who have prepared for the possibility of changing their mind are better of if it does happen.
Two men discussing how women should live their lives…why to we take so much of what they say to heart?
I recommend laughing at these guys instead. 😉
These two intelligent Men know better than many women...that's why.
Whether people decide to stay child-free or become parents,as any choice in their lives ,is their and only their business. There are also different factors to consider in the matter: 1. Financial security,2. Emotional intelligence and maturity,3. Health and mental issues,4. Your support system ,5. What type of romantic partner you have and if you are single or not ,6. The environment,7. The ability to be responsible for another human being,8. Type of education and career you have,9. If you and/or your partner have problems with fertility or not,to name a few . It's true that having children is in the name of continuing the human race ,but it's wrong and unnecessary to force everyone to be parents. It's situational and delicate topic and it depends not only in the choices you make for yourself but also what kind of luck you have and the circumstances - you can't have control (at least not full) over the result. Everyone has their own path and battle
What about childhood trauma? Women aren't expected to have kids young and those with trauma might be delaying it or choosing not too. Society needs to be talking about child abuse and healing trauma.
Society insists on having kids young so you don't come to your senses and realize that having kids is for society's benefit, only. No one asks to be born.
We've got overflowing prisons to prove pregnancy is a joke to most!!
Exactly very good point of view.
50.1% got trauma? 😐
You’re talking about a minority not the rule
People who feel they have to do what society expects are either scared or can’t think for themselves. Do what’s right for you.
I bet you can't tell the difference between society and genetic need for human survival..
@@joshknight8973
The survival of any species requires members who procreate and those who don’t. We have 8 billion people on the planet. That number needs to go down.
@@joshknight8973 we have too many people as is, willbe just fine
@@lillianp-yj6yx It takes 80 years for all generations to die and 40 years to make enough children to replace them. Will be just fine if people keep reproducing.
@@lillianp-yj6yxno it won’t! When all those people start to get old and there is not a young generation in a sufficient number to be the work force and keep the economy going. Those who have no children and no money to pay for private retirement, then we will have a big problem!
That’s like me. I got to the height of my career running wellness programs for billion dollar companies. Looked around and was like “I reached the top of the mountain” and was underwhelmed by the view. It wasn’t what I thought it was like. Now I work part time from home doing wellness session online and can take care of my family. I’m much happier now then when I was “successful”
Men leave and men die. I had a career as an engineer and gave it up to become a stay-at-home mom at the age of 30. Extenuating circumstances and we moved to Germany and I was not allowed to work unless I found my own employment before moving there. I went back to work at the age of 38, after our third child was 2. For us an au pair was a better option than day care. I changed fields and became a teacher a few years later. My career was always second to my husband's. He retired at 65 and passed away at 68. It is a fine line women walk if they want marriage and or children, while making sure they are financially secure no matter what happens with their husband or partner.
I've been working 40 to 60 hours a week for too long. However, I do it out of necessity. Some women really do get a choice, but not all of us do.
Exactly.
Is it really necessary or just necessary to sustain the lifestyle you've grown accustomed to?
@@Opethfeldt i think it's a case by case basis but i do believe alot of these people could have kids and not work but really don't want to do it because they think everything has to be Harvard fancy when not realizing you can literally get just as a good an education at a Community College that will be far far cheaper all Harvard and Yale are is just brands they have existed a very long time and are just an expensive brand
Stop lying to yourself. You DO have a choice.
@@Opethfeldt She has grown accustom to eating and having a roof over her head. So entitled. XD
I was always encouraged to reserve sex for marriage, and to avoid having children until I was married. I’m still
not married and I don’t want to raise kids on my own even though I want them. I think some of us just haven’t found suitable partners.
you are one of a kinda, cause a lot of your peers are chasing the seed of someone who is not gonna commit
That’s a HUGE part of it.
For me it's that I don't see it as being financially possible.
They’re too expensive
Children are not commodities. They are people who will suffer in this world and die. That is not life-affirming; that is immoral.
The reset button.
Many people are going to die alone - regardless of parental status. In Korea men die alone at a much higher rate than women, so this indicates that both sexes die alone, not just women who tend to live longer (on average) than men. Also, recent research in child-free older adults shows many report a higher life satisfaction and resiliency. It seems the biggest factor in being happy with one's decision to have or not have children depends on whether one feels in control of that decision. Some people just don't want to be parents and this is a reasonable decision.
Does Jordan Peterson ask fatherless men in their late 20's and 30 the same question? Does he ask single men who are childless at 50 if they are truly happy?
I hope so. Theyw ould happily say how they shouldn't have kids. Antinatalism for the win.
Men can still have children at that age it's very hard for women to. It's not the same, once women make the decision there is no going back.It's a trade off for both sexes. The lie is it's an option later.He's speaking from personal experience and observation.
@@thaneknight so women in the late 20s and 30s can't have children? Maybe this is an American thing. My mom had 3 healthy kids between 34-40. She was too fertile and prayed to God not to have more.
@@holyempressw8531I'm very happy to hear your mother had three successful pregnancies later in life. If you choose not to have children and change your mind when you're older;it reduces the chances of having children.It's not personal no one is speaking in absolutes. It's not a "cant" only a probably not.Male fertility also drops past a certain age these are just realities.
Of course not
I find Japan fascinating in this sense. Due to their cultures emphasis on education, they're about a decade or two ahead of us when it comes to this issue. Herbivore men didn't just appear from thin air, they were reaction to broad society changes.
You're already beginning to see the same thing in the west. Women, generally speaking, don't date down, so in order to compete with, and outpace, women who are make the same as, or in some cases even more than, them men need to put in even more time and effort. A lot of younger men just don't want to sink 70-80 hours a week into work just to pull in a marginally higher paycheque, all for the sake of getting a girlfriend or wife they'll never see because they're too busy working.
@@starrisesky dont bring rich celebrities into this. They don't have the same constraints as 99% of the other people
@@starrisesky Clearly this is a general rule, also if you marry before you carry this is usually not a problem.
@@starrisesky Which is why it's so rare for women to date down. There are a few exceptions of course, there is to practically everything, but it holds true for the vast majority.
Should probably also make a distinction between casual dating and a committed relationship.
Dating down means less education and financial earnings, statistically, black women date down at high rates. Anecdotally I have seen bw date/marry down and end up single mothers. Even though I love Chris Williamson's podcast I think there is definitely a cultural aspect of the show that does not include women like myself. I do not think the answer to the childless problem is asking women to date down.
Ye what is the point in having kids and family if i cant be with them
What is wrong with not having children?
Nothing. 😎
It potentially suggests a failing society.
@@whenpigsfly8178
Not even close. A successful society would include people who want kids and don’t want kids. There are places for all. 😋
@@LucareonVee No, if not enough people have children the population ages and collapses
@@AlexanderLittlebears
With 8 billion people on the planet, that would be a good thing. 😋
So if 50% of women aren't having kids by 30, lets minus the women who can't have kids medically or have a mental disability, women who are still virgins and don't date. Then lets split that 50% of women choosing not to and women who just haven't met the right man yet. The way men talk about this 'issue' is baffling. I think its great that human beings are evolving and realising there are other ways to live life and contribute to society. The only real issue i see is the whole retirement plan cost and supporting the old but thats society's issue not ours. Society needs to change and adjust to this new way of life. The economy has always been unstable, the capitalist way may aways be going up in terms of growth, but its not sustainable to keep getting more and more efficient forever. It will eventually collapse. People are getting poorer which makes no sense, if productivity is up and growth is up on average, than the average person should be getting richer. But we are seeing in real time the money is being hoarded up top. Now women have noticed this subconciously, and are future proofing their futures by having a career, investing, buying property if poss. If the need to survive is imminent then a woman is in a worse position with an extra mouth to feed, no one to help with child care etc. Its smart that women know that having children is a threat to their own survival. You can't depend on the husband in this equation as 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. Social media has allowed us to wake up and see the raw end of the deal. So why wouldn't more women take the peaceful less risk adverse route? In this economy a child is a bad investment. Maybe it has mental and emotional fulfilment, but survival will come first before putting a child through the struggle too.