Guy "Friend" Told My Boyfriend We Had an Affair Because I Rejected Him, and Now My Boyfriend of 3...
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
- Guy "Friend" Told My Boyfriend We Had an Affair Because I Rejected Him, and Now My Boyfriend of 3 Years Dumped Me Even Though I Never Cheated.
Timestamp-
0:00 - Story 1
10:21 - Story 2
#redditrelationship #redditupdate
Wow, a single message from a guy who says he loves your girl.
Yep he's gotta be telling the truth
Real
OP dodged a bullet she could have spent even more time with her disloyal ex. He believed someone he barely knew over his gf. He knew that the creeper was obsessing.
@@bellasmom2597 no that guy was clearly an orbiter bent on destroy her relationship, her mistake was to being friends with him knowing he has feelings for her
@@bellasmom2597 Exactly everyone knows cheaters always come clean and never try to Gaslight or manipulate or some shit like that
"you broke my trust" ughh ick
Story 1) never keep around a "guy friend" that tells you he loves you while in a relationship. There will be consequences. OP found out that the hard way with this "guy friend" they act all nice and kind but are ready to destroy you any chance they get.
He confessed to her a year before she was in a relationship, for the 3 years she was in the relationships he was acting like his usual self and when he confessed again and she rejected him again he immediately texted her boyfriend
@@HazeyClaritynever keep that loser around even if he wants to stay around, he doesn't wanna be your friend no matter how he acts or what he says.
@@sportmemer3178 I myself have been (and am) one of those “losers”. But I’m mature enough to know that no means no. I don’t hold onto hope, just the relationship that we have already built up until that point. Of course if they decide they want to distance themselves from me, I may be a bit hurt, but it would all be understood. At the end of the day, I appreciate their company, and I believe these women are good people to be around, so I want to surrounding myself with people like them.
Of course, that being said, I know that not a lot of guys are going to do what I do. So I don’t blame anyone with going the “better safe than sorry” approach.
@@mcmuinorac5848 I have been a loser myself my friend. Now I am something worse entirely but a loser is a loser.
Maybe it's easy for me because I'm a woman repellent, but if your first intention was to be in a romantic relationship with someone, and said someone does not wish to be in a relationship with you, you must not take a consolation prize of friendship, no matter how much it hurts at the moment, because if you do, in the future it will hurt either you or said someone or even both.
There's a woman I have a hopeless crush on, I have had one for years, I haven't told her, I've tried to forget her, stop myself from liking her, it works for a time, until I see her smile. But I will tell her soon, when I am ready. There's a 90% chance she will reject me and say let's just be friends, and there's a 100% chance I will want to be her friend because she's great. However with tears in my eyes, I will say no, and walk away. I'd rather have no friends.
Story 1: Roger is not a psycho, it's a coward pos that got butt-hurt after a good rejection. Paul's relationship was going to fail sooner or later, he needed a FB message to cut everything. He needs therapy now and start acting like a adult.
Story 2: She lost the house, husband, friends and got only visitations for her son and keep her friends and parents (who knows how much time they will keep helping a cheater). Best ending. Her loss
Something tells me op isn’t giving the full story on why the bf doesn’t trust her with this guy
Yeah me too🧐
I mean I would not fully trust my girl too if she is still in contact with the guy who confessed to her and regularly going out by themselves.Ofc I would say I'm fine just so I don't come off as insecure but it would still be in the back of my mind
I would think so is she didn't say he has female friends he goes out with too, so he's just a hypocrite
something tells me that you are an insecure crybaby
@@skullrevenant9573read the story again.
•They don't regularly hang out, they just meet once in a while through mutual friends.
•OP's boyfriend hangs out with other girls too .
•Roger has been acting platonic so OP was made to believe that he got over his feelings.
So Roger is a coward and Paul is insecure. OP deserves a man, not boys.
Well we can't be sure because OP isn't being honest.
She hid her texts with Rodger and said just trust me.
He just trusted her.
Rodger, who bf was told to trust, says me and your girlfriend are in love.
How about women stop keeping contact with guys they friend-zoned, who would obviously still have feelings for them??
Or is their feminine need for male attention so strong they can't do even that???
@@notting2640 I stg some women intentionally play dumb when it comes to male friends who are into them. "OOh I had no idea they still felt that way!" Well maybe get your head out of your ass then lol
@@notting2640 why men can't accept rejection and be fcking normal?
your comment screams "i'm being rejected all my life" and by your actitude I can tell why
Idk man from the story she didn't know nor thought that he still had feelings for her. Don't act like it's always something "obvious"
If a 3-year relationship can be broken by a single lie in a facebook post, it was never meant to last anyway. Paul would've eventually dumped OP later down the road for another dumb reason, so better part ways now. That guy really needs therapy.
As for Roger, aside for taking no accountability for what he did, he totally gives those creepy "nice guy" vibes. What a piece of s--t.
I don't think OP did anything wrong here. She friendzoned Roger, not her fault if he just couldn't move on. No means no.
I hope Roger will stay the f-out OP's life after this, because having that shot of their conversation, she could destroy him if he ever jeopardize her relationship.
Yeah i dont get ppl blaming op.
@@RozaDarkenThe people blaming OP are also insecure people who have trust issues.
If you’re in a relationship you don’t hang out alone with people that confessed love for you. Problem solved.
If he trusts another man rather than his spouse, that stays a lot about him more than you. Leaving him and his insecurities is better for you
Not spouse. Just gf.
Absolute brainrot of a comment.
She chose to be friends with a guy who was interested in her. That is not friendship. She also didnt tell the bf about the guy asked her out once before. Lying by omission is still a lie. Then she goes on coffee dates with this guy. Yeah, she is for the streets.
More importantly, women like her and their stories always proves that there can never be a friendship between a man and a woman.
@@legiontepes3474 same thing?
@@itsobviouslyyuta1461 rofl, you kidding? If I'm dating a woman for a few months is hardly the same as my wife.
@@legiontepes3474 *3years
This guy got friend zoned and tried the “I will wait for you” approach.
Guys. If you ask a girl out and she says no, break all contact with her forever.
Don’t hurt yourselves over some woman that isn’t worth your time to begin with.
I had a guy friend in high school who decided after I turned him down in middle school that he would somehow win me over if he just didn’t date. I had zero attraction for him and thought we were just buddies now! Well he confessed again senior year in high school that we was waiting for me to change my mind and he was EXTREMELY angry that I hadn’t and he thinks I should give him a chance. He said this like a dad commanding his daughter to clean her room out to do the dishes or something. He was a football player and pretty terrifying. I couldn’t believe he held off on dating for five years. I gave him no reason to do that. I didn’t ask him to do that. Some men are just creeps! The “I’ll wait for you” guys are terrifying in my opinion.
I confessed to my friend and she shut me down. It hurt for a while but I got the fuck over it like an adult and remained friends while I looked for romance elsewhere. You can still remain friends with someone without being a creeper
First story, speaking from experience, Paul was very much still in pain and felt he couldn't trust anyone, which made him insecure and gave way for every negative thought to be right from that message. I was like that before and it hurts when you cause the person you love to cry and feel hurt from your accusations and lack of trust. What he needed to do was forgive and move forward, but he chose to remain the comfort of the discomforting past. He needs to let go and see the present, not the past.
Also, OP did make a bad choice to keep the other guy around as a friend. Even though I do understand, the moment he told OP he loved her, she should have questioned the friendship and made the choice to end it if she wasn't comfortable. Then when he invited her for coffee, she should have told him "if you're thinking of telling me how much you love me, don't do that. I'm in a relationship. Don't bother me." It doesn't make her a bad person, but it's a lesson to be learned. The relationship was doomed from the start because saying this line to someone who has been cheated on- "I have never cheated on anyone"- is a death blow. Because the one who has been cheated on won't know if you're being honest or lying and from their own experience, they will see it as a lie.
Wait..why’s there no one talking about the 2nd story?
When friend zone backfire 😂😂😂
ANYONE!!! MALE OR FEMALE SHOULD NEVER KEEP A 'FRIEND' THAT CLAIMS THEY LOVE YOU!!! THAT IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!!! THEY NEVER WILL BE EVER AGAIN!!!
'You cant be 'Platonic' friend with someone who's fucking crushing over you ' - Gandhi
Ghandi? Really? I thought it was Plato who said it. Damn I was way off. 😔
The girl in story one is thinking wrong at the end. You can't act like staying faithful for 3 years was a waste, shit happens in life suck it up. And to start having FWB's will really help you find the one!
Honestly I think the whole “don’t be friends with men who confess or exes) or whatever depends on the relationship and how secure you both are with each other. My husband and I are very rock solid and secure. We’ve been together for 15 years and we’re comfortable to the point that I’m actually best friends with his ex girlfriend.
I know that sounds very strange. Most people are shocked to find that out! And I still am friends with one of my exes but that’s mostly because of the way it ended. It was a mutual decision. We both agreed we weren’t sexually attracted to each other and it felt weird. We only started dating because we had a lot of common interests and thought it was worth giving it a shot at the time. But when we tried to kiss we just got nothing out of it. lol. So I guess the way the relationship ended also matters.
Story 1: People keep saying OP should have cut Roger off once he confessrd. However, rational people move on after rejection. Especially when 5 or more years have gone by. Roger needed to grow up and Paul needed counseling. There relationship was never going to work with or without Roger's interference because of Paul's insecurities.
I had an ex say he was in love with me still and almost 20 years had passed since I had broken up with him. I also wanted to rekindle a friendship until he started asking us to be together again. I was confused because rationally one should have moved on by now. Most do but you have those special people that hang on 😑.
Ex bf just wanted out and used the "afair" as an excuse. He may have relised he was wrong but he was done b4 the issue
Op, you were still friends with a man who confessed his love for you and you never told that to your ex-boyfriend, of course he will believe the worst situation. Don't get me wrong, Roger is a resentful a-hole for lying.
I like how the comment section is saying Paul is insecure and looking for a way out.
No, he wasnt looking for a way out (In the beginning atleast) but YES he doesnt trust his future gfs (ex cheated and hurt him alot)
It seems he learnt his lesson from the cheater and seperates himself from the cheater(even though she is innocent in this situation)
So if the relationship continued, she will forever think that he has trust issues and never trust him as he in this situation never trusted her and he will be guilty for never believing her. (lose-lose)
That comment about how if the genders were reversed is spot on.
If OP were a guy and some girl once confessed to him but he stayed friends with her and never told his girlfriend who had trust issues, and the crazy girl told the girlfriend theyd had an affair, and the girlfriend freaked out, reddit wouldnt be tearing her apart
Except that there are plenty of other stories about assholes trying to lie and the spouse shutting their ass down because they don’t have proof. Both genders too. So nah, Paul was a bitch coward and the hypothetical Pauline would also be a bitch coward
Thats bonkers
Sick 360, man.
People really think OP should be accountable for every insecurity her boyfriend could possibly ever experience, damn. Everybody just talks over the boundaries of trust she set early on. Then there's this surprised pikachu face when people see the rates of single women are rapidly increasing.
If your partner asks to check your phone, you might as well break up. Can't build a trustful relationship if it's already broken
i find it disgusting that most people are in the comment just make conclusions about paul without even thinking on whether or not OP is even telling the full truth at this point since
1,OP is somehow still befriends roger.
2, prove something to paul she has nothing to hide until he isn't insecure anymore.
3,why would OP even agrees to meet with Rodger despite their past? its a common sense to not hang out with someone you rejected when you're in a relationship after all.
Could've sworn I heard the first story on your channel before...
Story 1: So Paul has trust issues/Insecurities from a previous relationship, Roger was still in love with OP so he lied about having an affair with OP and that’s what caused the relationship to crumble? That sounds a little too simple.
A lot of comments are straight up trying to blame OP for what happened, so it seems like it’s believable enough
Bet child isn't even his
“I had no reason to believe those feelings were still there”
This chick is either incredibly innocent or incredibly willfully ignorant. You have literally every reason to believe those feelings are still there considering he still talks to you. Be careful with friends of the opposite gender, it can work, I have female friends myself, but you have to be careful because situations like these can and often do happen. Also, never stay friends if feelings of love aren’t reciprocated. Regardless of which side you are on, it’s an unbalanced dynamic that won’t lead to anything good in the long term. And in defense of Paul, it’s not just some random guy, it’s her male friend who previously admitted having feelings for her. You’d have to be a total moron to just dismiss the claim that they’ve been together, yes his reaction is extreme and he could’ve heard her out first, but as much as you can bury past issues and feelings situations like these ones can totally bring those feelings back to the surface. If the roles were reversed everyone would be telling the girl to run as far away as possible from her boyfriend.
I call bullshit on this sentiment. I and others in this comment section have pointed out that we’ve been in this situation (I’ve been on both sides) and didn’t turn into psychos over it. We accepted the rejection and moved on like adults. Also, you defending the bf is ridiculous. Some dude claiming they’ve been cheating yet has no texts, no pics, no proof but his word? If you just go off based on that alone you are in idiot. There are plenty of other stories on Reddit of jealous assholes trying to lie about being in an affair and the spouse telling them to go kick rock because they had zero proof.
@@NeoCreo1 Yeah, but reddit is definitely not representative of the average population. If you were friends with a girl you had a crush on and nothing bad happened, good for you, but I can guarantee in 99.99% of these cases, if the girl came on to you later you would’ve said yes, because the feelings are still there. Your ability to suppress them does not make them disappear. And I’m not saying men and women can’t be friends, I have female friends of my own, but they’re not people I harbor any feelings for, and if I even suspected the other person might have feelings for me I would end the friendship. Even if nobody in the situation has ill intent, the imbalance between someone who just wants to be friends and someone who wants more is not healthy and will 9 times out of 10 end poorly in some way. If you’re both single it’s fine to have feelings for someone you’re friends with, but the same thing applies where you should confess your feelings and end the friendship if they’re not reciprocated. And I’m not saying I would go based off what the dude said alone, but you gotta realize that being cheated on can fundamentally change a person, and given the circumstances it could be believable that her guy friend who has previously confessed feelings could be doing stuff with her on the side, so that combined with the past trauma of being cheated on can very understandably lead to him making unreasonable decisions. If you had a situation where you stayed friends with someone you had feelings for and the feelings genuinely went away to the point you had a normal friendship, that’s great and I’m legitimately happy it worked out for you, but by and large that’s not the case and it’s a much safer bet to just end friendship when there’s an imbalance in the expectations and desires from that friendship.
I'd let the friend group know what he did and tell the guys in the group to be careful around him.
Posting that many comments before an update is honestly kind of a waste of time
Well I thought people often go low or no contact contact with people whose feeling they've turned down out of respect for their partner.
From what the video says the time span of him confessing initially and him causing the break up is 4 whole years apart. I doubt she suspected anything.
My lord I cannot fathom ever keeping anybody in my life that I do not have romantic feelings for, and they confess. This is by far the worst decision she made.
I cannot defend the boyfriend for breaking up with her even after proof was found but for god sakes I cannot blame him for jumping to conclusions after she knowingly kept a person in her life who obviously had feelings for her, after his insecurities of cheating and the deal breaker were established. This was a recipe for disaster from the start.
I confessed my feelings to my friend but made it plan and clear I was 100% okay with just staying friends with them and so far we have remained good friend and I even went on to find my boyfriend. If you just kick everybody out of your life that confesses feelings for you that you don't have feelings with two you'll end up bitter and alone. Not everyone is as unstable as Roger, You can confess your feelings to your friend get rejected and still remain friends with them.
As for Paul he's a fucking coward. What trust was broken? How did OP break his trust? No he was just looking for a way out and did the worse possible way of getting out.
@@LadyZubat I’m going to disagree based off of personal experiences (both me doing the confessing and me being confessed to) suggesting that the emotional maturity of both parties needs to be INCREDIBLY HIGH in order for a friendship past the confession to even work. Both parties, once one declines, must accept that the chances of a relationship just hit close to zero if not flat out zero and not fight said decision later. While you are emotionally mature enough to commit to a friendship with zero relationship attachment going forward, the people in my experiences (myself included), as well as the people in this story are prime examples where this did not work and in my opinion can never truly work.
However this takes a full step forwards when we account for the boyfriends insecurities of being cheated on after his previous relationship did this to him, and how easily this ex friend manipulated him because OP allowed this closeness to make it seem otherwise. Again I do not defend the ex boyfriend after (with proof) he chose to still break up after the fact, but OP allowed these circumstances to happen with the choices she made, plain and simple. Had she broken things off after the confession then nothing like this could have happened, or the chances of him believing such a lie would have been vastly reduced.
In the end she did not deserve this happening to her as she was innocent in this, HOWEVER I still stand by the fact she should have broken things off with a friend that wished to be more when she was not interested. This is not emotional maturity, this is innocence and cluelessness to potential threats to her current or soon to be relationships, and this is backed up by the fact that she repeatedly said “I don’t know why he did this” and “Why would he do this?”.
I actually don’t blame Paul at all. Everyone has a right to set their own personal boundaries when it comes to relationships, and not wanting to be in a relationship with someone who stayed friends with someone else after they confessed their love for her is a more than reasonable boundary to set. If OP wanted to stay friends with Roger, she needed to tell Paul about their history and make sure he was OK with it at the *beginning* of the relationship, and if he says no he’s not comfortable, you accept that the 2 of you are not compatible, wish each other the best and part ways. And if she thinks it would sound ridiculous for her to ask, “hey I’m still friends with this guy who told me he loved me a few years ago but now we’re just friends, are you comfortable with that?” Then maybe she should reconsider said friendship.
@@Joel-js2gk Nah, fuck Paul for being a bitch coward. I get being traumatized from cheating, but just taking some asshole at his word with zero investigation is cowardly
I have a somewhat similar story to story 1, I broke up with my ex bf and suggested we could stay friends because I liked to hang out with him when he wasn't so judgey/pushy/or angry just not romantically and then he slut shamed me and called me evil, he was my first ever boyfriend and he disrespected me and people around me throughout are relationship, because your having problems at home doesn't mean you can take your anger out on others, I mean I get it yeah but you can't just disrespect your partner and her friends like that to the point they just leave, he always said to not take him seriously, but a lot of things he said sounded serious to how he was feeling. (His abusive fam kicked him out around the time we broke up and I found out he got kicked out after we broke up, his mom just seemed to care about him but she was too much of a helicopter parent)
(sorry for kinda dumping this in the comments)
I get that Paul had trust issues but...
1) he should have worked these out BEFORE he got into a relationship.
2) OP had proben herself over and over again for years and Paul still couldn't trust her as evident by him taking this random bozos words as some kind of prophecy and running off with it without any kind of hesiation or drive to ask OP about it? Seriously?
This is why women pick the bears
Paul never trusted OP. He wanted his insecurities and paranoia to be corrected more than he wanted a healthy relationship. He never did the work to get past his hurt (therapy, journaling, etc) because it’s sometimes easier to just people to sit in their pain and wallow and have that validated than it is to acknowledge someone hurt you and doing what you need to do to no longer let that pain control you.
one more reason to not have guy "friends"
But why would OP keep Roger as a friend if she knew how he acted? I'd have trust issues too
Roger was not admitting about having the affair in the msgs so the op can't save her relationship by showing the msgs .he played very smart he knew admitting to not having the affair in the msg will become a written prove of his lying
He definitely has trust issues that needed to be worked on, but she really shouldn't have stayed friends with the guy after he confessed in the first place. You're just inviting drama into your life. So many guys remain in orbit after a failed confession attempting to sabotage relationships until she "comes around" to the idea of dating them. I feel like that situation was in part her fault.
Fuck that. I’ve remained friends with people I’ve crushed on in the past. Didn’t turn into some weird fucking “nice guy” over it. That toxic shit is 100% on the asshole.
Story 1: I’m glad she learned her lesson. Being friends with someone that once declared romantic interest in you is disrespectful to all future partners. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who’s friends with a guy that I know is just itching for his chance to be in a relationship with her. Conversely, I would never be able to be friends with someone whom I’d shown romantic interest in. It would be disrespectful to any future relationship I’d have, and would also cause myself more long term grief as it would hurt seeing them get into relationships with other people. I’ve never wished harm on anyone for rejecting me but also never remained friends with them afterward. If I see them on the street or at an event sure I’ll smile and wave but never text or call. Nobody owes me a relationship and I don’t owe anyone friendship. Wish them the best and move on with your respective lives.
Just because you aren’t emotionally mature enough to put aside your romantic notions when they are rejected, does not mean everyone else shares in that weakness.
For some reason I don't believe everything she saying.
Having male friends while in a relationship lmao
Having female friends in a relationship lmao
And he just can't be with her what sht
he wanted an out and that’s why he didn’t listen to her
NICE vidio
classic reddit moment to go off on op for keeping a friend around after a love confession. it's called being mature. on op's part at least. the guy should've taken the rejection and moved on from the romantic part if he really cared about op as a person. op did nothing wrong here.
its not called maturity its called stupidity. and her stupidity cost her the relationship
It's called being disrespectful to your partner
Can ypu explain if you confessed your love to someone and they reject you you deal with those feelings not just keep a onesided atraction and she had distanced herself
@@darkknight3037 just bc y'all are insecure... i've had friends i confessed to and moved on and i am besties w their significant others to this day because i deleted the romantic feelings and friendship is all i have left and that is okay. if you really love someone you don't love them for the romance and sex they give you and then go off to ruin their own chances because of that. what this guy felt was not love and op really is unlucky that she didn't get to know that person very well to know he would do smth like that.
@@erenyeagar4686 thats recipe for disaster. idc about if ur relationship will last or not so i wont judge what u do. but if anyone asks me whether or not to be friends with ex, prev loves, while still being in a relationship id simply say no and if anything bad happens then they deserve whats coming to them
Who is the guy in the video: "my parents abandoned me and now want me to give my house to my brother"
Not the correct title but most of it
Also the girl from: "kicked out as a teen for false rumors spread by my brother"
2 minutes and she confessed she friend zoned a guy.
Your responsibility was to step back and inform mutuals. I know people say "we can still be friends" but that needs to be said by the other person after you step back for a week or two. Long enough that they can move on and date others or self sabotage.
Edit: oh so turns out she didn't everything right. The only thing that would be helpful is to throttle your proximity with if he is in a relationship.
Lmao yall out here going on friend dates with the opposite sex wondering why your relationship fell apart.. lmfao i love this cuntry
Bro, you’re the one outing yourself as so emotionally immature that you can’t be trusted to be friends with the opposite gender without trying to be more than friends
So I guess you sleep with every opposite sex person that you end up alone in a room with right? Because it’s just to be EXPECTED that you just can’t control yourself.
Thanks for informing us that you bonk with every person you end up alone in a room with. That’s normal!
Hey guys, does anyone know the AI voice he uses in this video ? would be much apreciated
You're a victim of yourself.
Why do you have a guy friend in the first place
Why would u hangout with a guy who said he like u before 🤦
Tbh both OP and the bf suck. Op for being so naive about Roger and for thinking what they had could return to something platonic. And the bf for not getting some damn therapy over his trust issues. It takes so much energy not to trust someone you consider an SO. One thing is to be cautious of others intentions and an other is being in a relationship with someone you can’t trust over your past experiences like it’s the present SO’s fault. Roger is obviously just a bruised ego AH and have nothing else to say about him other than he should look for some damn self respect 😂. Talk about butthurt😂😂😂
I disagree about OP. I’ve been able to remain friends with people that I crushed on. You just need to move on
Fair play, he confessed his feelings for her and she didn't cut the friendship, that's a red flag, + if you have nothing to hide why she get so mad? She's not worth the headache if you ask me
Bro, projection much?
@@NeoCreo1lol you sound like a chick😂
Wow this story really pisses me off, Paul is so insecure and heartless for this
I dont know man...Story 1 OP sounds fishy. The guy confessed to you and yall keep hanging out alone while you have a boyfriend and somehow the bf is weird for not trusting you?
I’ve remained friends with people I’ve crushed on in the past. It’s not weird if you don’t make it weird.
Good luck on finding men that haven't been cheated on. It's mostly female's that seek else where while committed
No? Not even close bro.
Weird I know lots of guys who haven’t been cheated on. Amazing. You must live in another planet.
Hassassin is a beta.
Hi did you know that some is taking your videos, puts them through Ai again and then uploads them on their channel to make money? Ai is so crazy dude
He is taking videos and putting them through ai too
@@SamuelSumner-bw5cm yes that's the part in my comment, where I say "puts them 'through AI *again*'."
Paul is a b and deserves to be alone forever
welp, seems like another person is insecure
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I know what op is going through, I’ve been there, Paul had insecurities and this guy capitalized and fed the fear. And remember this op, you know who you are, and you’ll be with someone worthy of your love and heart… and let those boys play on the playground.
Op is an idiot, why would you stay friends with someone who is in love with you, keeping him around probably just made him think op did actually like him
Maybe she thought he’d be a fucking adult and get over himself instead of a pathetic piece of shit?
1st story just breaks my heart, I can't imagine losing 3 years relationship because of 2 insecure guys
Why stay friends him i would not trust the emotional turmoil
I’ve stayed friends with people I crushed on. Didn’t turn into a pathetic piece of shit over it
Paul is a very bad boyfriend. Yes, OP did something wrong. But she was right. Why is she being "punished" for something Roger did? And Roger is horrible =(
I think Paul was cheating and used Roger as an excuse to break up with OP.
Instinctively, men compete for a lot of things. Him trusting his girlfriend in another man's presence alone is gonna be pretty taxing on his conscience since he's been cheated on before.
Hey if that's an issue he should stop hanging out with female friends alone too... you can't seriously expect the same for op without expecting the same for him.
@@C.G.Gaster So true. Honestly, she was right at the end -- she should avoid people with these kind of trust issues. I've been cheated on by a few partners and I don't take that fear to new people. If it's going to happen, me being controlling and paranoid is not going to discourage it.
Paul needs therapy for his issues. Even accepting she did nothing wrong he said "the trust is broken". His inability to handle his own insecurity is something he needs to overcome, not his partners.
@@C.G.Gaster classic reddit brainrot. Keep on ignoring the elephant in the room that she essentially cheated on her bf. If your partner goes on coffee dates with a guy who has shown interest in her and your partner has made the decision to hide that fact, then that is cheating. No ifs and buts.
@sosamma090 it wasn't an active decision. Should it have been talked about, yes. However, any person who has been cheated on would avoid being in any situation themselves where they could be accused of cheating themselves. Second, if someone who confessed has seemingly moved on and there are no signs... what's wrong with maintaining a friendship? It's not op's fault. The guy was nuts. It op's fault that they didn't talk about stuff, yet it was already shared that they didn't share stuff about their past too often, unless it came up.
@@sosamma090Confession through projection. You classify that as cheating when to most normal people that isn't.
Also "classic reddit brain rot", as you called it, said that OP is an asshole. So I don't think you understand how things work.
The trust is broken because she's going on coffee dates with a guy who loves her. Oh yeah she never told him about that either . In 3yrs he checked her phone twice . He's not perfect but he tried his best and when this weird drama came into his life he didn't make her life miserable and get abuse or controlling. He took a step back and said let's end this like adults
BS. I’ve remained friends with people I crushed on. This is entirely on Roger for not being man enough to either get the fuck over himself or pull out of the friendship if he couldn’t move past his attraction so that he didn’t end up a pathetic piece of shit.
@@NeoCreo1 a crush and a love confession is 2 different things . But when your I a relationship with someone it's a common curiosity to inform them of things like this so it doesn't sneak up on you and put doubt in your relationship.
@@juniormon7514 To clarify, I did indeed confess my attraction to them and was rejected.
@@juniormon7514 Let’s see if UA-cam eats this one. When I say crushed on, I also mean confessed to and asked out, and was rejected by
I think the girlfriend made two mistakes. Obviously keeping the dude who admitted feelings in the first mistake. The second was dating someone who was still hurt over being cheated on. Her ex needed healing and therapy, and it’s not known if he ever made peace with his past. If he honestly dumped her without even discussing this over a random dude, that relationship wasn’t going to last for other reasons. I’m not believing a random person without any hard and definitive evidence.
I disagree about the first part based on my own personal experiences, but I agree with the second. That dude should have gone to therapy before getting into another relationship
Women love to throw around words like insecure and controlling. If you actually pay attention to what she wrote its pretty clear she was both dishonest and leading this other guy on. So after 5 years and her dating Paul for 3 he just randomly texted something was going on? That makes sense. The kicker she said Rodgers got mad she rejected him and texted Paul...wait what? So either this guy was after her this whole time or she was inappropriate with him. My guess is Rodger had been a constant point on contention. This wasn't the first incident.
I can’t understand anything you saying in this comment? What are you talking about??
@@dashiyamonique2983 tldr, they're saying that something MUST have happened between roger and op because people dont just try to break apart a marriage for no reason. she HAS to be guilty.
or something like that, i hard disagree with his comment 😂
Not surprised, logic and critical thinking is hard to understand 🤔
@@user-qn3eo4hx7zwomp womp
Oh fuck off. I’ve remained friends with people I’ve crushed on because I moved the fuck on and got over myself. If I couldn’t do that, I walk away to not be a pathetic creep. She wasn’t dating Roger. He was just a delusional “nice guy”, and Paul was a bitch coward
First story. People who are cheated on by someone else isn't that paranoid. But cheaters are. Her boyfriend was cheating the whole time I guarantee it
Agree, i bet he wants to out and the jerk give the way
Yeah it definitely looks like he was looking for an out.
Personally find it suspicious that paul was so ready to ditch the relationship but also not come back after finding out the truth. Might be a stretch but him being so paranoid could be a projection of his own infidelity. If he's already got someone on the side....he'd be jumping at any chance to get out while looking like the good guy.
I couldnt imagine being separated from my long time partner, upset they cheated but found out it wasnt true and not immediately run back into their arms.
It's not your fault it's your friends fault that your boyfriend dumped you .
S1: So OP expects to have trust from the get go in a relationship?
No, but they expect after years of dating that it wouldn't be destroyed over a texted from a butthurt guy.
They broke up YEARS after, did you even watch the video properly??
@@Afrogirrl trust issues and insecurities are things that are hard to get rid of, you cant just get up one day and say i no longer have these things.
@@DraxXThanos exactly, why did OP’s boyfriend decide to get in a relationship knowing damn well he has no trust for people. Even YEARS after he could've gotten help, got therapy, been a damn adult and done something about it. But he chose not to. He's gonna continue ruining all his relationships if he doesn't choose to grow up.
Guy friend is the AH for sabotaging a relationship he wished he wanted. Paul is a no good sensitive piece of s*** for ending a 3 year relationship over false claims. Now I hope he stays miserable for the rest of his life. Girl hold your head up high and move on. Sever ties with the guy friend.....Everyone is the AH in this situation
If you're going out alone with another guy, let alone someone who confessed his feelings to you, you deserve what you get. Bozo
She told Paul she was going to see Roger. If they were having an affair she wouldn't of
Op is tah. She knew bf had been cheated on. She knew that Roger crushed on her. Yet she kept going out with him alone. She hid to bf that she Roger had a crush on her. She lied and dismissed Paul's feelings. She needs to mature.
The boyfriend needs to heal if a single message can destroy a relationship without proof
On the other side of thr coin... sometimes a crush is just that... a crush. She out a boundary up and created distance... If it was important Paul should've asked or sat down and talked. Op def made mistakes... yet trauma doesn't excuse his part either. He immediately assumed, and even when confronted with the truth he didn't apologize... Paul needs to do some self improvement before even dating again, cause it's clear he's not ready.
No. She said early on that she needs his trust, and it was a deal breaker if he couldn't find that in himself. She's not his ex and isn't responsible for the hurt caused. She let him go through her phone on multiple occasions despite having set this trust boundary. She accomodated him.
Roger presented himself as a platonic friend despite having romantic interest. Yes he stated that he had those feelings, she said that she wasn't down with them, he claimed to be okay with that. She should have felt safe assuming he wasn't there just waiting for his chance, still. Roger needed to be honest with her instead of hovering around pretending his intentions were platonic, he needed to say "I can't handle my feelings for you" if he couldn't. He should have stepped away, not pretended his intentions had changed.
One man preyed on her friendship and her partner chose to believe the lies of an emotional predator over the truth of his girlfriend. Neither of them is emotionally prepared to be in a relationship.
girl be so fr, only person who needs to mature is that childish asshole paul and roger
@@C.G.Gaster i would agree with you, if she disclosed the previous confession. She didn't and that's a breach of trust. Imagine if he was going out alone with a woman crushing on him. Would op have been fine with it? Doubt it.
lol so many simps defending op in the comments
What is there not to defend?
lol so many incels defending the bf in the comments
@@bfitz5610 Exactly 😂
and you both proved my point
@@kidflaxh5130 who hurt you