@imbeombe579 toxic relationship if you ask me. It is the same with children you can only punish for bad behavior if you compliment good behavior. Seems you husband has loads of child traumas he has never solved.
I was bullied throughout my childhood and had to endure a barrage of disapproval and criticism from relatives, teachers, school pupils, even from my small circle of friends, simply over differences of opinion and interests. Once I left school and entered the workplace things improved slightly, but there is no escaping the little despots who shout the loudest and complain the most. At the end of the day, I'm not a thief, not a r@pi5t, not a killer, not a drunkard or abuser. I don't go around threatening and hurting people - that is my default setting. I am tired of living in a society that is constantly judgemental, that takes one glance at someone like me and dishes out threats and negativity. Look, if you don't like a certain book, dress or TV programme, then ignore it and go do your own thing. I don't lock anybody in a room and force them to listen to my views, and consume and do the things I enjoy. Too many people these days are so quick to take offence and issue threats, and I now spend 90 percent of my time alone and avoiding people. I'm just sick of all the bullying.
One of the most valuable bits of advice I was given in my youth is that other people in society will only value me for what I can do for them. It sounds cynical, but it adds up when you look at the way society works. You get a job, earn a paycheck, and pay for the things you want and need -- all of it stemming from the social interaction of "what can you do for me?" Once I accepted this as a universal truth, I became far more content with my life. It also showed me the amazing value of my family, who do things for each other out of a bond of love that transcends all of that. Thanks for sharing, Gia, and I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season!
The best validation comes from within ourselves. When people are negative towards you, it’s because they are projecting their own shortcomings and faults on others in order to not work on themselves. Even when people are nice to us, it’s either that they see something they wish they could see in themselves or want something in return for your attention. You’re absolutely right, at the end of the day, we must maintain control of our own narrative. That being said, you are a highly intelligent and lovely human being, and thank you for producing this amazing content!
I figured this out when I was about 30.Now I am 41 and I lost almost everyone around me just because the fact that I don't wanna impress nobody, I am a brutally honest, straightforward,easy going,free(unburdened and unbothered)guy.Btw, I like your videos,you go girl🙌
"At 20, you worry about what others think of you; at 40, you stop caring what others think; and at 60, you realize they were never thinking about you at all."
It's true there is a narcissistic quality in thinking that people will always think about the you. It may be in more cases that it's fear. Even someone who is dreaming about their crush thinking about them, it's still a fear of the other person not having those feelings back. In a lot of ways, that fear may come from a primative source; an outdated function of defending against other people and animals. In this age when life is certainly unpredictable, fear has increased. People will cling to what they know more, but will always fear the other. I 100% agree with you when you say people really don't think nor care much for others. Indeed, people would feel so much better if they did become their authentic selves. It's just that safety is important and many can't feel safe with everything that is happening today, so they'll become more wary of others. I wish it was easier for then. I hope in time this changes.
The timing of finding your channel could not have been better. Right now, I am house/dog sitting for a friend who is out of country. On multiple occasions he has told me that "he wants for me to travel". Who doesn't want to travel? But, I have been an artist for most of my life. I believe it was passed down to me from my father who was also an artist. I don't associate anything about me with a god or religion. When he told me, "he wants for me to travel", I pointed out that travel costs money. He is also my employer. (I know, not the best arrangement). He knows how much I make and should know that I can't just pack a bag and jump on a plane to Italy, or wherever. I told him that my art is what is most important to me now. I am 65. And I'm grateful that I have an artistic outlet I can create with. But, he doesn't understand the artist's mind. There are a lot of other factors that are playing out. But, I won't go into them. Suffice it to say, they only enhance my need to stand my ground a focus on my art. Thank you for another inspirational video.
Be yourself! Always a good message. It was the main message in the 90's with Bands like Incubus, RATM or Korn for example. Great time to grow up. Great video!
That's the cold hard truth! The world does not care and the world does not owe us a dam thing! ❤ Prove yourself right Do it for yourself Do what you want Enjoy the journey Never seek approval Rely on me! Impress me ❤🙌 🙏
I realised this as a 12 year old when my parents split and divorced. In the following 32 years I’ve never given a shite what anyone thinks about me, mainly because no one is ever thinking about me. You’re so correct mate, it’s a very freeing realisation!
I'm as "independent" as they come. I have learned to live without the validation of anyone outside my family. However, even I find myself caring what others think of me. I'm a big, powerful, confident man, yet it's impossible not to care. I agree with your point, though, that others don't think of you for long. They can't. However, they do give you either positive or negative reaction upon seeing you. If the reaction is constantly negative, it is draining. This is why good-looking people have it easy in life, and below average looking people have it hard.
Now noticing that at 25 this year and trying to have self care and if people ask being blunt is so much easier and peoples opinions have not helped past years as feeling I’m a failure had not helped but failing only means I have tried more till I will pass in life and goals
I had huge anxiety as a kid. I could barely walk into a store and buy something. I got over it as I got older. I've tried to help young people going though the same thing. I've given them tactics and things to do. But most people just can't do it. And sadly, their family is often happy to help them hide for as long as they want, which will make things way worse. If you're afraid of the world and never leave the house... all that will happen is your brain will just extrapolate what it THINKS the world is, because it doesn't have any actual experience to go off. And if you're leaning negative, then guess what conclusion your brain will come to. So the longer you stay in, the more you'll want to stay in, and it becomes a vicious circle. Even if you just take one step out the door, do that, then expand on that each day.
Yet most people judge, and if you do not match up to their expectations you will be condemned. Which is why we care, way too much, agreed. Still, as long as people feel justified to know better for other people, this 💩 is never going to end. We're not the problem.
i dont care about anyone else or their feelings as they should not care for me, we are born alone and we die alone, you survive by looking after yourself and caring and selflessness makes you vunerable to the strong. I live alone, and i love it, freedom, true freedom is not caring and doing what you want,
This is a really curious video to see now, when I'm about to come out to my family (for the second time, as non-binary). I objectively know that it'll be a drop in the ocean for my friends who don't already know, but it's become a *way* bigger thing in my head when I think about telling my parents, and I think unravelling the web of fear is going to be more painful than saying the words, even after the fact.
Well everyone does care, BUT its only for like a few minutes. Then we move on, back to thinking about ourselves, and then we dont care. But the irony is that while those people had cared and stopped caring, all within a few short minutes, we spend hours, days, and weeks, worrying about those people still having those “imaginary” opinions about us. I just say, if its important than it will stand the test of time. So no use worrying till then.
it has never occurred to me to think about what others think or talk about me...not even when i was a teenager...that's not to say i've had great self esteem at times...but it hasn't mattered to me about others...no one thinks about me other than my husband and sister 🤷♀️
The fun part is baiting those who pretend to care. Like those corporate types at work pestering me to wear a "xmas jumper" (whatever that is). I tell them it's against my religion & that they've offended me. They look shocked, scurry away. Then come back, timidly asking what my religion is. "Atheist" I tell them 😄👍. In a previous company they were hell bent on making us wear pink. 🤔😞
I've long stopped caring about if anyone actually cares anyway, I could not give a sh*te if they do or don't, I know I've stopped caring about everything, not in a selfish way, I just realised people don't give a sh*te.
This is completely true, of course - but it's easier said than done 😁The way I see it, nothing will matter in 100 years, because unless we're a celebrity or politician, nobody who's alive then will remember anything we did. So why worry now?
But I sense that escaping the "opinions" of others is just one aspect of a very complex part of being human. I can't help but feel that we have to seek 'something' from others; we can't be solely an individual and escape others entirely, not just their opinions. The majority of us are not reclusive (at least in terms of being surrounded by others; though we may keep to ourselves). We form relationships that to some degree influence us or that are part of who we are. And through those relationships, maybe we gain respect for others and this could lead to caring about their opinions and thoughts. Many commenters on your videos quote others -- so they are influenced by the opinions of others
If your definition of yourself is based on other people's opinions about you, then it'll mean that you don't even understand your own person, and thus you can't understand anyone else. In other words, the only one who can know and understand you best is yourself, but not anyone else
You need to check out the world of the Sigma. I only live authentic and genuine. I am Me and happy in my own skin. Don’t need anyone’s validation or approval. I live by my own rules. Thank you for your refreshing world view. You and I are rare people. Peace is the key.
Dude my family is the biggest nosy judging group tho. Sucks that the suburban Karen’s of the world ruin it for everyone else. It’s so suffocating going home and being around them. I had to move across the country lol. Have been trying to explain that negativity and judgment is not affecting anyone but them and to introduce them to methods of being more self-aware but they obv don’t understand or care about that.
I find it tons easier to introduce our “changed” selves to new people than it is to get family and long-time friends onboard. Family ties and friendships are often ripped from us for the ways we may evolve-leaving or adopting a religious tradition, moving to a new place, major career change, opening up about sexual orientation or being transgender. Even something as simple as a name change is a bridge too far for some. We can at that point say, “ok, we’re not as close as I thought,” but it still hurts. 😢Nevertheless, I agree, we owe it to ourselves to be who we truly are. And those who truly care may have questions, but they won’t leave. That’s true love. ❤
Paper cups I am three years old I know elves and fairies and I know magic I am 13 years old I know my friends and my friends know me And I am told to grow-up And to forget about magic and fairies I am serious now I believe in hard work and getting up early And I drink coffee on the train In a paper cup And I kiss you when I come home Tell the children to be quiet for I am tired I am serious - I need to get up early Tomorrow I drink coffee on the train We all drink coffee on the train In paper cups - in silence I am old now And I’ve lived a most serious life But all I did in the end Was to drink coffee in a paper cup I should have been drinking from your cup Instead Tell me again about elves and magic Tonight I take the last train home
More importantly, I don't care if they care, I'm just me, so they can deal with that. I've been broken before, so I've been there, and done that crap already. There's nothing new under the sun that I have not seen or heard. They think their BS will surprise me somehow? Lmao! Same crap different day.
nobody cares but care to stick their noses where they don t belong, but expaining it to most is pointless- mainstream people need to please others who think as little as them. they say oh you re so right.....and do as they always do.
actually if you're a beautiful female every guy will instantly notice you and pay attention. I know because I do, I know it's unfair to judge people on looks but I can't exactly help it.
The truth is Everybody cares when you do something wrong, but Noone cares when you do something right.
youre not always right same as me
Judgy hypocrites 9 times out of 10
100%
@imbeombe579 toxic relationship if you ask me. It is the same with children you can only punish for bad behavior if you compliment good behavior. Seems you husband has loads of child traumas he has never solved.
Facts. This gets even more prominent as you get older.
The whirlpool in the head live his own life
I was bullied throughout my childhood and had to endure a barrage of disapproval and criticism from relatives, teachers, school pupils, even from my small circle of friends, simply over differences of opinion and interests. Once I left school and entered the workplace things improved slightly, but there is no escaping the little despots who shout the loudest and complain the most. At the end of the day, I'm not a thief, not a r@pi5t, not a killer, not a drunkard or abuser. I don't go around threatening and hurting people - that is my default setting. I am tired of living in a society that is constantly judgemental, that takes one glance at someone like me and dishes out threats and negativity. Look, if you don't like a certain book, dress or TV programme, then ignore it and go do your own thing. I don't lock anybody in a room and force them to listen to my views, and consume and do the things I enjoy. Too many people these days are so quick to take offence and issue threats, and I now spend 90 percent of my time alone and avoiding people. I'm just sick of all the bullying.
my whole life all the time severely disabled now cant walk anymore always weak and small they are so strong
@standrean doesn't mean you don't have friends dude one love
Find a few friends you can tell who they are they will stick to you even if you say bad things they will save your life literally I mean this
I totally get you, and your comment couldn't have been any more like my experience. It's like I wrote it myself.
One of the most valuable bits of advice I was given in my youth is that other people in society will only value me for what I can do for them. It sounds cynical, but it adds up when you look at the way society works. You get a job, earn a paycheck, and pay for the things you want and need -- all of it stemming from the social interaction of "what can you do for me?" Once I accepted this as a universal truth, I became far more content with my life. It also showed me the amazing value of my family, who do things for each other out of a bond of love that transcends all of that. Thanks for sharing, Gia, and I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season!
Lao Tzu:"care about what people think and you will always be their prisoner."
The best validation comes from within ourselves. When people are negative towards you, it’s because they are projecting their own shortcomings and faults on others in order to not work on themselves. Even when people are nice to us, it’s either that they see something they wish they could see in themselves or want something in return for your attention. You’re absolutely right, at the end of the day, we must maintain control of our own narrative. That being said, you are a highly intelligent and lovely human being, and thank you for producing this amazing content!
I figured this out when I was about 30.Now I am 41 and I lost almost everyone around me just because the fact that I don't wanna impress nobody, I am a brutally honest, straightforward,easy going,free(unburdened and unbothered)guy.Btw, I like your videos,you go girl🙌
Smart people never have a huge friend group.
I was 29 when I figured this out. 36 now, hardly any friends but I have my partner and little girl.. all I need and we're unapologetically ourselves ❤
Zen proverb: Let Go or Be Dragged. ❤
"At 20, you worry about what others think of you; at 40, you stop caring what others think; and at 60, you realize they were never thinking about you at all."
It's true there is a narcissistic quality in thinking that people will always think about the you.
It may be in more cases that it's fear. Even someone who is dreaming about their crush thinking about them, it's still a fear of the other person not having those feelings back. In a lot of ways, that fear may come from a primative source; an outdated function of defending against other people and animals.
In this age when life is certainly unpredictable, fear has increased. People will cling to what they know more, but will always fear the other. I 100% agree with you when you say people really don't think nor care much for others. Indeed, people would feel so much better if they did become their authentic selves. It's just that safety is important and many can't feel safe with everything that is happening today, so they'll become more wary of others.
I wish it was easier for then. I hope in time this changes.
The timing of finding your channel could not have been better.
Right now, I am house/dog sitting for a friend who is out of country. On multiple occasions he has told me that "he wants for me to travel". Who doesn't want to travel? But, I have been an artist for most of my life. I believe it was passed down to me from my father who was also an artist. I don't associate anything about me with a god or religion. When he told me, "he wants for me to travel", I pointed out that travel costs money. He is also my employer. (I know, not the best arrangement). He knows how much I make and should know that I can't just pack a bag and jump on a plane to Italy, or wherever. I told him that my art is what is most important to me now. I am 65. And I'm grateful that I have an artistic outlet I can create with. But, he doesn't understand the artist's mind. There are a lot of other factors that are playing out. But, I won't go into them. Suffice it to say, they only enhance my need to stand my ground a focus on my art.
Thank you for another inspirational video.
Be yourself! Always a good message.
It was the main message in the 90's with Bands like Incubus, RATM or Korn for example. Great time to grow up.
Great video!
That's the cold hard truth! The world does not care and the world does not owe us a dam thing! ❤
Prove yourself right
Do it for yourself
Do what you want
Enjoy the journey
Never seek approval
Rely on me!
Impress me
❤🙌 🙏
Found this video helpful as I've been really struggling with being very anxious over it.
Absooolutely I soooo agree 😅. James.
I like you. Happy New Year 🎉
I realised this as a 12 year old when my parents split and divorced. In the following 32 years I’ve never given a shite what anyone thinks about me, mainly because no one is ever thinking about me. You’re so correct mate, it’s a very freeing realisation!
Very true!! The sooner you figure this out, the happier you will be.
DEAR GIA - YOU HAVE VERY SHARP THOUGHTS AND BRAIN AND ALSO VERY BEAUTIFUL EYES . THANK YOU🤍
Just found your channel. Wonderful content! Loved this😁❤️🇮🇪
I hope everyone is having a good holiday season. Take care!
I really appreciate your honest honesty and your videos since I discovered you. You’ve helped me in dealing with my introversion and my own mind
You have literally said everything, and in a fellow accent, that I needed to really hear. Thank you.
I'm as "independent" as they come. I have learned to live without the validation of anyone outside my family. However, even I find myself caring what others think of me. I'm a big, powerful, confident man, yet it's impossible not to care.
I agree with your point, though, that others don't think of you for long. They can't. However, they do give you either positive or negative reaction upon seeing you. If the reaction is constantly negative, it is draining.
This is why good-looking people have it easy in life, and below average looking people have it hard.
Thank you !!! I love you 💝
Wow... this is powerful and you are so right! Greetings from Germany and all the best to you!
Now noticing that at 25 this year and trying to have self care and if people ask being blunt is so much easier and peoples opinions have not helped past years as feeling I’m a failure had not helped but failing only means I have tried more till I will pass in life and goals
I'm almost 45 and finally realizing this. Thank you.
So true! More content like this please…
Glad you have a UA-cam channel
I had huge anxiety as a kid. I could barely walk into a store and buy something. I got over it as I got older. I've tried to help young people going though the same thing. I've given them tactics and things to do. But most people just can't do it. And sadly, their family is often happy to help them hide for as long as they want, which will make things way worse. If you're afraid of the world and never leave the house... all that will happen is your brain will just extrapolate what it THINKS the world is, because it doesn't have any actual experience to go off. And if you're leaning negative, then guess what conclusion your brain will come to. So the longer you stay in, the more you'll want to stay in, and it becomes a vicious circle. Even if you just take one step out the door, do that, then expand on that each day.
im disabled this sort of thing was a problem for decades but its coming to end thank you i cant change my disability i feel better already
Excellent. More like this please.
I Care ❤
This helped me out feel better and think differently thank you honestly 🎉
Yet most people judge, and if you do not match up to their expectations you will be condemned. Which is why we care, way too much, agreed.
Still, as long as people feel justified to know better for other people, this 💩 is never going to end. We're not the problem.
Great wisdom 👍
Thank you!
Your very authentic I love it 🎉so true
👍Great Video😊
i dont care about anyone else or their feelings as they should not care for me, we are born alone and we die alone, you survive by looking after yourself and caring and selflessness makes you vunerable to the strong. I live alone, and i love it, freedom, true freedom is not caring and doing what you want,
You are right!
6:18 So true. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is ok
This video has helped me a lot! Amazing content, subbed
Gia caring, loving 🥰
Resonantes well
Omg well said❤
Love the sentiments expressed here, Gia.
Gia is my favorite Kiwi! She's great.
today's one regret is that I have just one thumbs up to give.
Took me some time to figure this out. Liberating when you take it to heart.
Hi, thank you so much for video
HAPPY NEW YEAR.🍒🍒🍒
This is a really curious video to see now, when I'm about to come out to my family (for the second time, as non-binary). I objectively know that it'll be a drop in the ocean for my friends who don't already know, but it's become a *way* bigger thing in my head when I think about telling my parents, and I think unravelling the web of fear is going to be more painful than saying the words, even after the fact.
Well everyone does care, BUT its only for like a few minutes. Then we move on, back to thinking about ourselves, and then we dont care. But the irony is that while those people had cared and stopped caring, all within a few short minutes, we spend hours, days, and weeks, worrying about those people still having those “imaginary” opinions about us. I just say, if its important than it will stand the test of time. So no use worrying till then.
Keep it up Gia, very charismatic girl behind the camera 💯
Merry Christmas
Heres a mic drop,unless we make our name in the history of the world,we will be forgotten in two generations.
We live the same exact lifestyle lolz ♥️
I'm 57 and I can assure you all no one cares!!! Be yourself live life, cuz life is for the living.
it has never occurred to me to think about what others think or talk about me...not even when i was a teenager...that's not to say i've had great self esteem at times...but it hasn't mattered to me about others...no one thinks about me other than my husband and sister 🤷♀️
You wording is beautiful in it's simplicity. Happy New Year. Slava Ukraini
True story
Facts, if you died today, you’d be forgotten tomorrow.
Odds are very likely that everyone around you is feeling just as self conscious about themselves
The fun part is baiting those who pretend to care. Like those corporate types at work pestering me to wear a "xmas jumper" (whatever that is). I tell them it's against my religion & that they've offended me. They look shocked, scurry away. Then come back, timidly asking what my religion is. "Atheist" I tell them 😄👍.
In a previous company they were hell bent on making us wear pink. 🤔😞
Wish i was younger. U r my sole mate. 😂
People will always gossip and cut you down to size because they are jealous of your happiness. I give zero f___s and they know it
I've long stopped caring about if anyone actually cares anyway, I could not give a sh*te if they do or don't, I know I've stopped caring about everything, not in a selfish way, I just realised people don't give a sh*te.
The irony if this is, the more famous you are the less this is true, and the harder it is to ignore.
This is completely true, of course - but it's easier said than done 😁The way I see it, nothing will matter in 100 years, because unless we're a celebrity or politician, nobody who's alive then will remember anything we did. So why worry now?
But I sense that escaping the "opinions" of others is just one aspect of a very complex part of being human. I can't help but feel that we have to seek 'something' from others; we can't be solely an individual and escape others entirely, not just their opinions. The majority of us are not reclusive (at least in terms of being surrounded by others; though we may keep to ourselves). We form relationships that to some degree influence us or that are part of who we are. And through those relationships, maybe we gain respect for others and this could lead to caring about their opinions and thoughts. Many commenters on your videos quote others -- so they are influenced by the opinions of others
If your definition of yourself is based on other people's opinions about you,
then it'll mean that you don't even understand your own person, and thus you
can't understand anyone else.
In other words, the only one who can know and understand you best is yourself,
but not anyone else
Agree but it is not such easy
Hello gia happy holidays
You need to check out the world of the Sigma.
I only live authentic and genuine.
I am Me and happy in my own skin.
Don’t need anyone’s validation or approval.
I live by my own rules.
Thank you for your refreshing world view.
You and I are rare people.
Peace is the key.
You label yourself sigma - that is a cry for validation and a need for hierarchal pride.
Have you read the book "The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck"? Same conclusion.
U look and dress different, less dark, from your previous videos, I like it 🙂
Dude my family is the biggest nosy judging group tho. Sucks that the suburban Karen’s of the world ruin it for everyone else. It’s so suffocating going home and being around them. I had to move across the country lol. Have been trying to explain that negativity and judgment is not affecting anyone but them and to introduce them to methods of being more self-aware but they obv don’t understand or care about that.
No wonder why we overreacted and overthink..
👍
I care
I find it tons easier to introduce our “changed” selves to new people than it is to get family and long-time friends onboard. Family ties and friendships are often ripped from us for the ways we may evolve-leaving or adopting a religious tradition, moving to a new place, major career change, opening up about sexual orientation or being transgender. Even something as simple as a name change is a bridge too far for some. We can at that point say, “ok, we’re not as close as I thought,” but it still hurts. 😢Nevertheless, I agree, we owe it to ourselves to be who we truly are. And those who truly care may have questions, but they won’t leave. That’s true love. ❤
Hello gia🙋
Are you from new zealand. good vid btw.
That's why they all boo and jeer for 21 years as I record it all? Honorific.
It's true. Open heart surgery was the lesson.
religion really imprints this constant self evaluation
Paper cups
I am three years old
I know elves and fairies and I know magic
I am 13 years old
I know my friends and my friends know me
And I am told to grow-up
And to forget about magic and fairies
I am serious now
I believe in hard work and getting up early
And I drink coffee on the train
In a paper cup
And I kiss you when I come home
Tell the children to be quiet for I am tired
I am serious - I need to get up early
Tomorrow
I drink coffee on the train
We all drink coffee on the train
In paper cups - in silence
I am old now
And I’ve lived a most serious life
But all I did in the end
Was to drink coffee in a paper cup
I should have been drinking from your cup
Instead
Tell me again about elves and magic
Tonight I take the last train home
and the older you get the less they care.. by the time you are 60 years old, you are invisible. Trust me
Nobody cares but they notice
More importantly, I don't care if they care, I'm just me, so they can deal with that. I've been broken before, so I've been there, and done that crap already. There's nothing new under the sun that I have not seen or heard. They think their BS will surprise me somehow? Lmao! Same crap different day.
Everything changes,and nothing changes.
Is it just me or did she take 6 minutes to say what could be said in 30 seconds?
Other than that I do agree.
Wait, if nobody cares, why do they like/comment/subscribe?
nobody cares but care to stick their noses where they don t belong, but expaining it to most is pointless- mainstream people need to please others who think as little as them. they say oh you re so right.....and do as they always do.
I applaud you for making the videos. However, unfortunately it’s not that simple.
Live to please God, not ppl. Don't be addicted/a slave to the approval of others. ❤ and don't live everyday as an immature Egomaniac. 😅
actually if you're a beautiful female every guy will instantly notice you and pay attention. I know because I do, I know it's unfair to judge people on looks but I can't exactly help it.
Hm..
"Nobody cares".
So why actually You mentioned it?
Is it because You cared what They have been thinking about You? 🤔
🤌🏿
you're a moderately attractive women, people care ABOUT YOU
now, nobody and I mean NOBODY cares about me