Thank you for using yourself as an example. Too many of these videos come from a superior/self righteous stance, despite the fact that we ALL have shortcomings. Much respect & admiration. 🙏🏾💚
Caroline Winkler is great at this too! She usually speaks to her lived experience and makes her advice very actionable with concrete personal examples. She definitely keeps it very relatable and approachable.
The self care point is SO IMPORTANT. Self care can be starting an assignment early so you dont have to rush and stress last minute, or going to class every day to make learning easier. I used to think self care was just doing what I liked, and thats part of it, but its also doing the thing you need to do in order to make life easier on future you.
I call it being kind to my future self. Do things now that will make things easier for your future self. And be sure to thank your past self when you get the benefits.
I always got frustrated when I'd tell therapists that I spent the whole day watching UA-cam or otherwise fucking around, and they'd say "Oh good, self care is important!" I was like BUT THAT'S ALL I DO and it really confused me until I pinpointed the difference between self-care and self-indulgence. The latter being more akin to self-harm than self-care.
Yes, I can relate to this. I had a therapist who thought self care was the epitome of mental wellness, which I’m not sure I agree with. I think self care has been warped into something it shouldn’t be, even though the initial idea was innocent. There’s a lot of evidence showing that caring for people, challenging yourself, and getting into the flow state are much more effective for overall well-being.
@@cierragrove4745 right. I can understand the need to relax and do something just for yourself sometimes. It's not good to never ever recharge. The problem is when ALL relaxation or downtime is seen as self-care, when what might be needed more is to be productive or be of service to others.
Yes! I've done this to myself and then wondered why I had no resilience in the midst of a forced high tempo season of my life when I had exercised no discipline, will, or worthiness for myself. How so many therapists can overlook such a glaring sign of not enoughness is beyond me. The professionals should be past this level of psychological immaturity by this point. It's infuriating that this is what is licensed and accepted by insurances as opposed to the holistic therapies that actually work but aren't mainstream yet. Rant, rant, rant, rant Whew. That's better. 😅
Yeah, I have had the same issue with therapists. I get they're trying to shutdown the self-loathing spiral, but I just also really need help in how to stop wasting my life doing nothing, never accomplishing my goals.
The social media one is so important. I truly think we are in a weird stage where social media is new enough that people don't realize the bizarre grasp it has on so many people. When you stop using it you see how strange it all has become. I really do think history will look back on this time and ask why we didn't realize how harmful social media was.
It's both harmful and wonderful though. We wouldn't be watching this if it wasn't for social media. There's lot to unpick - maybe it will get analysed properly sometime in the 2040s!
True, but I seek this out, consciously consuming positive, productive content. Seems like on average social media/internet algorithms skew negative. So maybe my issue is with how algorithms are deployed moreso than the platforms themselves.@@wkt2506
@@wkt2506thats strong argument you have there. Don't mind me using it to justify scrolling through crap when I bored, because Social Media is marvelous connecting all these people and their ideas.
that is totally right. i deleted instagram and twitter for a week just for a challenge and oh man my life has gotten 10 times better. instead I'm looking at pinterest and journaling.
@wingkintsoi7183 youtube isn't at same level it isn't as worse as typical "social media". pick a vid (no shorts) then watch it till the end (speed up if needed). By the time its completed i don't feel like watching more.
I am taking notes 1. Impulsive purchase/buying 2. Having procrastination while saying it's self care 3. Hoping too much for accidental solutions that are unrealistic 4. Just one setback and give up it all 5. Too much social media especially arguing about things that are not really important 6. Overlooking obvious things that would ease you in the long run for a bigger unobvious things - use mattress logic 7. Drugs, or anything that is addictive such as corn, PMO, and such things Hope yall doing better bros and sis
@colinhogan5661To add to this: the breaching point of porn use is when it effects your daily perception of people. Nothing wrong about thinking someone is attractive, but you might want to ground yourself or step away when the first thing you think when you see someone you're attracted to is something quite sexual.
00:02 Bad money habits lead to misery 02:21 The impact of childhood money stories on adult behavior. 04:08 Identifying and avoiding the Mot and Bailey argument 05:58 Honesty and self-awareness can help identify and address bad habits. 07:57 Waiting creates false hope and leads to misery. 09:50 Setbacks can feel like a death sentence, but they're not as big as they seem. 11:33 Pushing through setbacks leads to growth 13:32 Focusing on everyday habits can lead to a better quality of life 15:17 Finding simple solutions can greatly improve your quality of life 17:06 Recognizing the net negative effects of drugs despite providing temporary happiness. 18:56 Conquered bad habit, no longer miserable
On the topic of waiting. While waiting for random events is bad, waiting with a purpose can be really soothing. When I am in a train, and have to wait 1h to arrive. There is nothing I have to or should do in the meantime. I just have to wait and don't have to feel bad about it.
about "abandoning hope", i was taught that hope and fear are two branches of the same tree - which is projecting your expectations onto the future, when you should be being open to whatever may unfold ♥
@@KlappKlo well, as said in the video, hope is not a substitute for an action plan. that's all it means to "abandon" it. don't rely on hope alone, you also need actions
@@verthandijal That's true, but ultimately phrased poorly on the part of the video maker. "Abandon(ing) hope" is equivalent to "giving up" in standard parlance - which he promptly goes on to use as a bad outcome of poor resilience in the very next topic. "Abandon fantasizing" or "Structure your hope" might be closer to the mark. It's effectively a "learn how to properly make and execute a plan" topic.
The social media and opinions thing is so true. Cause there are so many times I have seen a discussion out of propotion, and I just sit there like "Why cant you guys see both the good and bad in each perspective, and come to a conclusion. Like no one outside of social media will care".
procrastination = self care; that argument has been one I have played for myself MANY MANY MANY TIMES. thank you for highlighting it and talking through the habit (and habit-breaking)! 💕
In the midst of a bout of crying and feeling sad and sorry for myself, your video popped up and I began to laugh. Kind of like the sun beginning to shine during a rain shower. Great timing.
I had a lot of these, turns out I had severe undiagnosed ADHD. getting the right meds and support completely turned my life around at 37, to the point that I'm about to start a PhD that I never would have even attempted a few years ago. Having said that I'm definitely going to take your advice and learn to chop veg properly. One of the things I really struggle with is feeding myself properly and not resorting to takeaways all the time. The fact that if I cook dinner it pretty much takes up the entire evening really doesn't help with that
Which medication helps you please, & what are the differences you notice? Kind regards. (& I agree with above, cooking efficiency improves with practice, & batch cooking is the best use of your cooking time. Bolognese sauce, chilli con carne & chicken casserole are my batching go-tos. I get whatever I want out of the freezer in the morning, & it's defrosted & ready to quickly reheat by evening.
@@bobbobert4884 I mean I've been feeding myself for decades and it still takes me hours to cook a proper meal from scratch. I've got a few meals I can do quickly that I eat most of the time.
Despite years of resistance, going from drugs that I had no clue about the precedence to pharmacy drugs really helped me with ADHD, anxiety and depression this year. I was lucky to find a psychiatrist who actually cares, but still, this change enabled me to see many other bad habits I kept on reinforcing just because they made me feel good at some point
My husband and I help each other with procrastination vs self care, we ask each other “are you sure you have the energy for this extra responsibility?” And “Are you sure you just can’t face things today? Are you sure you need this break or are you just trying to get out of doing something?”
Not only do i love the video but also how inspiring and supportive the comment section is here. So many random strangers all over the world all rooting for each other ❤
I hope you're finding fulfillment and a little satisfaction that your honesty and willingness to share your 'warts and all' is likely helping a lot more people than you know. It's no doubt frightening to be so vulnerable on a platform that doesn't always reward such courage. Thanks for what you do.
Thank you for being so open and honest with us all, Struthless. As another ordinary person who struggled with addiction, it's really encouraging to listen to your experience. ❤
I agree, it is about honesty. The you-tubers and friends that have gotten to that place of honesty after addiction are so refreshing to listen to. That has been my experience. Thank you Struthless, your videos resonate for sure!
What you said about your art teacher made me think of Brene Brown's work. This is from an interview she did. “I used to believe, before I did the research for The Gifts of Imperfection… that there were creative people and there were non-creative people. And now I absolutely understand personally (and professionally from the data) that there are no such thing as non-creative people. There are just people who use their creativity and people who don’t. And unused creativity is not benign. For the people who really struggle because they don’t think of themselves as creative, there’s a lot of shame around creativity. People don’t think of themselves as creative, they think creativity is self indulgent. They don’t think it is productive enough. They don’t understand what it means. It was shut down in them as children. For those folks, when I say “unused creativity is not benign”, what I really mean is it metastasizes into resentment, grief, heartbreak. People sit on that creativity or they deny it and it festers. When I started the research on shame, you know, 13 years ago, I found that 85% of the men and women who I interviewed remembered an event in school that was so shaming, it changed how they thought of themselves for the rest of their lives. But wait - this is good - fifty percent of that 85% percent, half of those people: those shame wounds were around creativity. So fifty percent of those people have art scars. Have creativity scars.”
I think I need to get that book. I think it might fix me. The sadness and struggle around my art is wrapped in so many layers of shame that I didn't even talk about it in therapy during the total of 5 years I went. I read so much about other people's experiences in hopes that they will have something I could find useful or implement to better my life but I have never come across this!?
@throughcolouredglasses9300 I find Brene Brown's work so inspiring, my favorite is a 6 disc audio set called The Power of Vulnerability from Sounds True but the Gifts of Imperfection is also a great one. She.also has two Ted talks. Anyway I send you support in your quest for understanding, and common experiences.
@throughcolouredglasses9300 No matter how many inspiring books you read or how much you intellectually understand them, the big change happens when you understand yourself and begin to actively create the shifts in your life. Take it in, absorb it, and then dive into yourself with the new knowledge and tools. A book can't fix anyone, but it can give you new tools to tinker with your life. I'm sad to hear that your experience with therapy hasn't pulled the depths of color from your lenses out to witness. All too often do they remain too surface level to do any good. Even after years of skating that surface. ❤ you've got it though! The more you learn, the more tools you will have. Keep tinkering.
@@throughcolouredglasses9300Great, insightful post. How would you feel if you just went and started creating? Might be a joy, AND help with that wound.
I can't tell you how much I respect you, man. You've made the most impressive use of a sh*tty past I have ever seen. Seriously. You've helped me, I'm sure you've helped a ton of other people. I just love how upfront, honest, practical, and humble you are. It's amazing to me and I really hope that someday I can use my story to do something a fraction as beautiful as you've done with yours. You rock. God bless.
Gosh man, so relatable! From the alcohol to stop thinking to looking back at years of your life and wondering where your money went, and then discovering that the noise in your head is a condition and meds help... thanks for your vids. You make a difference in my life every day ❤
When I saw your smile upon mentioning your wife and kid, it made me happy...for you. You look EXACTLY like my baby's daddy, and remembering those times just sent me spiraling. See, we had a stillborn. I, not knowing how to handle this scenario, proceeded to go completely bat-spit crazy, lose everything I had, burn every bridge, become an addict , destroy everything and hated God... I see him in you and if our son was alive, my baby's daddy would smile like you, being as he really does look just like you... But we don't talk anymore. We won't ever talk again...and this fact sucks !!! But...That's the past and almost a decade ago, so I need to not.... Not think about it anymore and get over it. I've watched you since the beginning, and you have done amazingly and I'm happy for you! Your doing great and thanks for the inspiration God bless
This must be one of my favourite videos of the internet and from you. And I'm not even half through yet. Thank you being honest, vulnerable and saying out loud things that most of us know, but do not acknowledge. Now, when hearing them (especially in your light way of presenting it and visualising it with images that show the real absurdity of these behaviours) it's like what you said "Honesty is one of the things that you know it when you see it". 👏🙌😇
Your channel was recommended to me, and I'm glad it was. Looking forward to exploring your channel more, I enjoy your delivery and insight. I struggle with alcoholism.
Thanks for this. One thing you shared resonated: “Hope is not a strategy.”. And, the older I get, I’ve come to realize that pushing through setbacks = everyday life. 💪 Stay strong. Peace be with you. 💚
If you don't add "reddit" to your keyword search you're not using the internet right 😂 I've been watching your channel for a long time and it still amazes me how you can take a universal, complex feeling and logic us through to a less uncomfortable place. Thanks for your swirly twirly, spicy philosophic brain! (sidenote: silly purchases are worth it even just for the stories!)
Your sidenote is really true. I've hardly ever made any impulse purchases, certainly nothing bigger than a chocolate bar or something like that lol. So I kinda envy people with these crazy stories!
It takes a certain amount of gumption to make super large purchases like a van on a whim, or a one way ticket to another country, but I certainly envy the people that trust the process enough!! It’s definitely worth investing in yourself though, be it that tattoo you’ve always dreamed of getting or finally buying a didgeridoo and learning to play. If life’s the journey, the side quests are the parts that make the picture worth looking at! 😊
So true I feel I’m not getting real research unless I take it the “Reddit” level 😂 it’s just always so much more insightful getting legit feedback from a bunch of strangers
* most likely to not be biased or advertised feedback that’s not from a library is my experience using Reddit. Learn so much more from it than what I learned from regular articles
Fellow clean and sober pal here! It works wonders figuring out your brain chemistry and getting on the right meds. With a clear, functioning brain on the mend, you can actually focus on fixing the other issues that led to the substance abuse.
usually working backwards helps too, when did the substance start when did the abuse start can there be a use of the substance without abuse if not, how can the feeling from the substance be substituted.. etc
Thank you. It's hard for me to admit this but I'm for sure an addict... to more than one drug nothing life threatening because of the drug itself but my behavior on said drugs. Your openness, your seriousness mixed with your presentation had me actually in tears from self realization that I've got bad habits man. And that feels bad man. I'm about to turn 30, it feels like a death sentence and that's so dramatic but it's the truth. I feel so meh and like I don't know what to do. The money story - for sure... I've suspected and reconciled my money story a few times now I make a lot of cash then I procrastinate, play the waiting game, play the hope game, waiting for that call for the next movie gig for the next whatever. That self care lie holy fuck what a take. Thinking about my own set backs my own trauma surrounding just a kid wanting to make things once shot down and now to scared not knowing how to even start... and finally social media. These things, on UA-cam a social media platform I've been procrastinating on for what years on now? This dopamine shot you've given me god I hope I can move it. I'm going to end my youtube dance today after writing this comment but you making this 19 minute heartfelt piece has brought me to tears and I think uncorked some deep seeded emotions and desires that I really needed to feel today. It's weird how things come into your life when maybe you need it the most. Struthless you have my upmost respect and I seriously appreciate the work that you do on your own. Your comment on the end about seeking professional help and getting the correct medication for your personal chemistry and situation... admitting I'm powerless... what a mind fuck. Thank you brother, I'm sending love your way. Thank you.
@@londongael414 I appreciate it, I know I do actually know. Sometimes when working on set for example I discover pretty regularly that I am in fact the youngest on my team... but fuck this last year with all the union delays shit got dicy and it just left time to reflect on well my 20's coming to an end.
@@JarredCordova Yeah, I know the feeling! But you know what the best time of my life was? My forties and fifties! You've figured a few things out, you know yourself better, you like yourself more, you begin to notice people treating you with...wow! actual respect! 30 sucks, but it really does get better - and you don't necessarily have to wait for ten years for that to start.
@@londongael414 Thank you seriously for taking the time! I’ll probably come back to this conversation again. I’m not like on an edge I think some serious reflection with age and it being December has me in a mood you know?
congratulations on the golden button, Cam! :)) i've been watching you since the beginning of covid cause i wanted to start drawing again, so i found your video that i've watched a dozen times on doing the same thing every day, and of course i stayed for more. i love how you evolved into life philosophy and mental health basically. i'm 32 and i feel the most stable and happy as i've ever been, and your videos were a big part of my journey to happiness and stability 💔❤ you make your points so clearly and illustratively that they get stuck in my head :) and i can retract them easily when i need to! thank you so much for that
Today I found out SLIPPERS are created to keep you warm at home 🤯 my life is full of these tiny moments right now, as I am on a path of recovery and reparenting. It feels so good to see someone else experiencing life in a similar way. Thank you 🙏🏻
I found myself nodding throughout the whole section on drugs. I do not have a drug addiction, but I have behavioral habits from a mental disorder that act similarly to addiction. I’m going to mull on the thought of accepting powerlessness and “you can only control the first drink.” Thanks for your authenticity!
so many self help channels seem to be rooted in this weird right wing grind culture. I appreciate this video so much for being more grounded and genuinely helpful. Thank you
I think when you said you gave up on hope, what you really gave up on was magical thinking. To a child there's no difference but learning to tell the imposter from the authentic is among the challenging lessons of adulthood. Also, I synthesized a novelty Tshirt idea in the middle of watching the video. 💡
As always, your videos never fail to leave my heart smiling. It's one thing to give advice, but it's another to use your humanness to do it. Your vulnerability makes you so strong and everything you say and do 10x more impactful. Thank you for being human!!!
Your vids have helped me more than I can say. 52, was caregiver to elderly folks for years and lost them both within 6 weeks this year. Starting again with huge debt...on my own... unemployed....not giving up for a better life! Remaking my identity...my life. I don't usually comment but had to. Yesterdsy in my city of 60,000 someone won 25 million...second time in two months😂. I had to comment on the irony after you said "no one is coming..or you could win the lottery". I agree with everything you said, I just had to laugh out loud. Now..off to send job apps...and get a dang ticket! Keep smiling.😊
Sorry about your art teacher bumming you out so much you hit a 10 streak of not drawing. Glad you found your way back to art. I find that scenario relatable; I too have had a bummer art teacher who made me abandon art for a long time, but have returned to be stronger than ever.
I just love your videos. I watch every one. Not just the quality, but the vulnerability and the humor, the person you are. You’ve got such a lovely soul. Thank you for choosing to share your work with us!
I read this Dr. Suess book weekly to my son at bedtime, to this very day (8years) I feel very emotional and frustrated when I come to The Most Useless Place. This resonates w me in some way I cannot understand at a conscious level. I absolutely HATE waiting.
Thank you 🙏 this video quite literally saved me today. It was painful to hear at some parts but also incredibly uplifting. You don’t know how many people you have helped with your videos! I always come back here not just for the mental heath advice but also for your creative projects because you’re truly one of the most genuine and fun!!! UA-camr I’ve come across here
1M subs! So well deserved to get that plaque. I feel inspired to just keep pushing along to my goals. I feel like such a hipster since I was watching your videos before everyone discovered you. I was just looking for art inspiration when I found your channel.
You know, this was a really great reinforcement for me. Over the last couple months, I've started hanging onto more money, cooking, working out, and generally holding myself accountable again. It's HARD as a man with impulse control as poor as mine, but hey! It's possible. Thanks for keeping me on course, man. Plenty more work left to do.
i really needed to hear that 'setback' part because i just got a shitty day at work and i thought i am just incapable of doing the job altogether. today i'm trying to get back on track and this video helps so much. thank you!!!
There is an ancient Chinese proverb that states "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to do it is right now", and that quote has stuck with me for quite a long time now. We as humans beat ourselves up thinking about what we could have done with our lives, but we don't think about how much we can still do to fix them.
This has been a rough year where a lot of shit has just been stacked up on me, and I have to say this might be one of the best self help channels by a man I’ve found. I’ve tried looking up a lot of self help videos for men only for them to either be Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan or just alt-right grifters talking about how men don’t go to war anymore or whatever, but you’re just a genuinely good dude trying to help others, and I really respect that man. Keep doing what you’re doing
19:04 i relate to so much of that last part man, props... The worst about my current issues with moderation is that i truly think it is something i've developped when consuming that i was actually quite strong about before. Addictions and loss of will and self-discipline and control seemed like completely alien problems to me, and a part of me wants to believe i can get back to that version of me. It is hard to accept.
That phrase "Abandoning hope, which sounds miserable, actually made me so much happier" reminds me a lot of one of the concepts talked about in 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck' by Mark Manson. "The pursuit of positive experience is a negative experience and the acceptance of negative experience is itself a positive experience" Or something like that. Anyway, it's really interesting to see that reflected in your experiences so thank you for sharing that
Damn.. you mentioning the Love that comes with Regret is so real. That’s been a huge setback for me. Picking up my passions again and feeling all the progress I could have made. Instead of pushing past it and making do with the time I have no, I turn away out of shame or the feeling it’s “too late” UGHHHH
RE: #4 - honestly this DOES get better and easier with age (65-year-old here). It’s like how people describe the tragedy of suicide-a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your goal is to shorten that period of time between when the setback occurs (in your case, for example, the art teacher giving you the brush) and the point at which you figure out it doesn’t MATTER. If you all can shorten that length of time, you move forward with whatever you want to achieve more quickly with less pain and true suffering. Because the suffering and shame is real, unfortunately. Keep your head on straight and your eyes and heart on what you want to do-we can all do it!
Things got worse for me with age. I used to live life beautifully. Now I feel bad every day on every level and I’ve tried everything. Not looking for pity just maybe some understanding and some comforting & love before the end
I have this with work. During work I will get distracted or do other stuff so extremely often that it is tiring. I keep telling myself it is to keep myself sane because I have a hard time keeping myself motivated on work. I already reached out to get some therapy or diagnose to maybe get some meds or habit to deal with me being distracted, but atm I am on my own and it is intense. I get so bad I can't concentrate on menial tasks like writing this comment lmao. ( me allowing myself to indulge in the distractions is me using the excuse "Self-care" )
I appreciate you being open with your history of drugs and addiction! I decided 2024 is the start to me being sober and i realized the same things you mentioned, the positive i used to get from drinking were now negatives and I can't do moderation, so finding someone be so open about this is really helpful!!
Me: "I procrastinate" Also me: "I PROCRASTINATE BECAUSE MY ANXIETY STOPS ME" Also me realising I can do things with small steps at the time. Things don't need to be perfect. I don't need to be the best. If I just listen to those, I will for sure complete things regardless of how anxious I am.
Oh man... The perfectionism in every conversation I enter is the sole contributor of stagnating any progress I could have gotten. I believe it's from my excessive Internet addiction, I just compare myself to the pinnacle of conversation then never realize other people have the same awkward situations and lack thereof good topics, but of course I'll never understand that until I've fully committed to being the alright talker and not the perfect being with no mistakes.
Hey Struthless, thank you for doing these videos, they be helping A LOT with my stuff and mostly and this is something I found out about quite recently is that when my head gets busy like overwhelmed with people, noise and everything around me, your voice is actually something that calms me down. Actually out of all things, like classical music, lofi music etc. its only your voice and your videos that really make me stop, chill for a minute and actually rethink the situation thats goin on at the moment. So thank you again for you, for the videos and for making my days better.
What helped me a lot was do things super slow on purpose. Like taking a day to slowly declutter my room. Instead of: "I will do this right now and finish it in 30 min, because thats how much time I need when I do it seriously"
Thanks man, I loved the way you talked about your life so openly. And the non-chalance, and I loved your giggle at the end. You've got an beautiful voice that I could listen to all day. Really appreciate your pouring out of your soul!
You are so amazingly inspiring! I could put it into a million more words, but.. Yeah, thanks for your honesty, the incredible production quality and thought behind your videos. I really hope you can feel the good you do for all your viewers, and feel pride on days that might be grey
Yes for the all or nothing mindset! The second I decided drinking was a problem I decided I'd quit. Moderation was never an option because I know I just can't do it. It goes for food too, there are things that are just not allowed in my house and for some reason people don't get this. Balance is overrated.
Thank you for sharing this! Congratulations on the well-deserved mil, which I hope is the first of many. Your work has touched the lives of so many people, and I can honestly say you've changed my life in many ways!
The mattress logic part was such an eye-opener. For sure I'm applying this. Reminds me of how UPS workers have many efficiency hacks to save precious seconds. If I'm gonna chop vegetables I'm gonna do it the right way, haha.
Man... 9:03 the abandoning of hope, when you say it, really reminds me of the concept of wishing [Wünschen] from Heidegger in being and time. May as well, in this context, use the wording interchangeably-not wanting of course to degrade their significance, but doing so. Very interesting to see how each person recognizes such problems and talks about them. Very good video!
The food prep thing is so true, haha! I was 39 when I learned how to do easy sautéed chicken breasts, and it's almost embarrassing how something so seemingly insignificant can improve your life, directly and indirectly.
Thank you for this video, it's great to hear the perspective of someone that's actually gone through these things and truly wishes to help. I will definitely be coming back to this video from time to time to help remind myself of my goals, thank you 💙
What a dawg. I became unsettled when you mentioned the waiting topic, then you gave your story about illustration and I fully understand what you’re saying now.
I’m trying to get better with money but I just don’t care about it enough. It comes and goes and I enjoy what I’ve gotten to do with it. I grew up poor and know how to do without so I’m not afraid to lose it all. I know I can rebuild. I am getting older though, so it’s time I start caring so the money can care for me when I’m too old to rebuild
Honestly your videos have been helping me confront the same issues. I've been stuck so long I've lost confidence in myself to do my own work my way. I'm terrified of something and I can't figure out what, your advice helps me cut out the noise and comforts me that this is normal for other adults to do too and that I'm not a unique fuck up, disappointing my loved ones. I greatly appreciate this
This is great advice. You're not just projecting and casting judgement on others, but instead each bullet point came from personal experience. I am 41 and still struggle with just about all of those things. Going to make a physical list of these so I can reflect on a regular basis (especially the part about drugs).
Somewhere I read that hope is "longing for a future condition over which you have no agency". That definition was an epiphany for me, but I don't bring it up in conversation very much, I've learned it challenges the traditional meaning of hope and makes people defensive.
Hey Struthless, man.... I'm happy you're here with us.... For us. In doing good for yourself we've been able to hear those words that you share even when you're not speaking them. Thank you.
There's also the opposite to all of these, which I especially have with self-care. I know the difference between self-care and procrastination. I label everything that takes up my time without being productive as a distraction, but the thing is that I don't have self-care, and I've often used self-care as the label for me DOING work and not letting myself rest. I use up all my "me time" on something that isn't me, and instead I'm either distracted or working on a project instead of taking care of my health, so that's something I'm trying to learn. I have realizing what procrastination is beat, but loving myself... Gosh, I never thought learning to take care of me would be so hard.
Dude, I just love your content! I hope I can always count on your videos along my lifetime in this world. And I also hope you have a wonderful life in this journey. Thanks my man!
Thank you so so much Campbell!! ❤ Time after time I watch your videos and learn so much. We‘re all so freakin similar it‘s almost frightening. We may all come from different places but the stories we experience and the lessons we learn can be so similar. Your videos inspire me to become a better person. And while I know that this is such a highly generic sentence I mean it with all my heart. So proud of you, you‘re making the world a better place!❤
I disagree politely with abandoning hope. There is a healthy dosage of hope and a false sense of hope (related to the waiting for a big break topic.) For things related for what we have no control over, hope does help us. i.e. family members battling an illness, or an application we send for a job, or hoping others show up in time. It's important to not lose hop in many of life circumstances and build that muscle. Hope definitely has helped me get through a lot. I do think you are right about how detrimental waiting can be, and how prolific it is in literature and film.
Just stumbled on this video but whoa man You are amazing I'm so fricking proud of you Thanks for making videos, I'm inspired to keep drawing again :') and take responsibility for myself too You are a hero ❤❤❤ keep at it my man!
The part about drugs filling multiple part of your life is so true. It also applies to smoking... And was one of the most difficult parts to quit it all
Definitely relate to a few of these. I especially liked what you said about false optimism, and a belief that there’s some big break around the corner. An inspiring watch indeed. Cheers mate.
I feel like your videos and advice are so relatable and relevant because you present info as the things that have worked for you personally, not just what "professionals" say should work. Thank you for showing that sharing our lives with others, being a bit vulnerable and open to better things, can be scary but worth the risk, worth the investment in our Self ❤
I have ADHD and an iguana. Preparing meals for him takes a huge chunk out of my day. So thank you for the tip about the knife because the one I'm using isn't very sharp but it never occurred to me to replace it. 🤦♀️
Using a smaller sharp serrated knife can make the world of difference when cutting smaller pieces of veg and meat. You don't need a massive knife, but something good quality that fits in your hand. Also, study some chopping techniques and focus on the task of cutting. 😊
I used to paint and draw and all the things. A teacher I admired said something I interpreted as negative and I didn't draw or paint again for the rest of time.
As someone who just had a breakdown at work and had to go home and take the next day off, this video feels personal (Ive got therapy booked in for next week so we good)
Just wanna toss it out here for ya Struthless. I’ve worked security for most of my life and as you’d expect, I have an extremely dark view on drugs. I’m also not artistic at all, and find most self help stuff to be quite frankly people preaching things they don’t follow themselves just for content. However, you seem to be a great guy, you put out really entertaining and engaging content and for what it’s worth, I reckon you’ve turned your life around and proven that hard work, drive and dedication can make you make anything you want to happen actually happen. Not that it means anything, but you’ve earned my respect.
Thank you for using yourself as an example. Too many of these videos come from a superior/self righteous stance, despite the fact that we ALL have shortcomings. Much respect & admiration. 🙏🏾💚
Totally agree
That’s what makes him the most real creator in this space. He isn’t afraid to reveal his vulnerabilities 🫡
I know, this fellow is golden. A true educator.
Caroline Winkler is great at this too! She usually speaks to her lived experience and makes her advice very actionable with concrete personal examples. She definitely keeps it very relatable and approachable.
Exactly what I was thinking and I think I'm definitely ahead of the curve for loosing things 😅
The self care point is SO IMPORTANT. Self care can be starting an assignment early so you dont have to rush and stress last minute, or going to class every day to make learning easier. I used to think self care was just doing what I liked, and thats part of it, but its also doing the thing you need to do in order to make life easier on future you.
I call it being kind to my future self. Do things now that will make things easier for your future self. And be sure to thank your past self when you get the benefits.
This is a really useful frame, thanks!
I tend to procrastinate first. So I get it out of the way allowing me to focus on the adrenaline rush of an impossible deadline.
@@MidlifeRenaissanceManlol this is me. I need to light that fire under my ass to do anything
Hell yeah! Self care can be actually doing the hard thing early to avoid heaps of stress
I always got frustrated when I'd tell therapists that I spent the whole day watching UA-cam or otherwise fucking around, and they'd say "Oh good, self care is important!" I was like BUT THAT'S ALL I DO and it really confused me until I pinpointed the difference between self-care and self-indulgence. The latter being more akin to self-harm than self-care.
Yes, I can relate to this. I had a therapist who thought self care was the epitome of mental wellness, which I’m not sure I agree with. I think self care has been warped into something it shouldn’t be, even though the initial idea was innocent. There’s a lot of evidence showing that caring for people, challenging yourself, and getting into the flow state are much more effective for overall well-being.
@@cierragrove4745 right. I can understand the need to relax and do something just for yourself sometimes. It's not good to never ever recharge. The problem is when ALL relaxation or downtime is seen as self-care, when what might be needed more is to be productive or be of service to others.
Yes! I've done this to myself and then wondered why I had no resilience in the midst of a forced high tempo season of my life when I had exercised no discipline, will, or worthiness for myself. How so many therapists can overlook such a glaring sign of not enoughness is beyond me. The professionals should be past this level of psychological immaturity by this point. It's infuriating that this is what is licensed and accepted by insurances as opposed to the holistic therapies that actually work but aren't mainstream yet.
Rant, rant, rant, rant
Whew. That's better. 😅
Yeah, I have had the same issue with therapists. I get they're trying to shutdown the self-loathing spiral, but I just also really need help in how to stop wasting my life doing nothing, never accomplishing my goals.
@@yltraviole EXACTLY
The social media one is so important. I truly think we are in a weird stage where social media is new enough that people don't realize the bizarre grasp it has on so many people. When you stop using it you see how strange it all has become. I really do think history will look back on this time and ask why we didn't realize how harmful social media was.
It's both harmful and wonderful though. We wouldn't be watching this if it wasn't for social media.
There's lot to unpick - maybe it will get analysed properly sometime in the 2040s!
True, but I seek this out, consciously consuming positive, productive content. Seems like on average social media/internet algorithms skew negative. So maybe my issue is with how algorithms are deployed moreso than the platforms themselves.@@wkt2506
@@wkt2506thats strong argument you have there.
Don't mind me using it to justify scrolling through crap when I bored, because Social Media is marvelous connecting all these people and their ideas.
that is totally right. i deleted instagram and twitter for a week just for a challenge and oh man my life has gotten 10 times better. instead I'm looking at pinterest and journaling.
@wingkintsoi7183 youtube isn't at same level it isn't as worse as typical "social media".
pick a vid (no shorts) then watch it till the end (speed up if needed).
By the time its completed i don't feel like watching more.
I am taking notes
1. Impulsive purchase/buying
2. Having procrastination while saying it's self care
3. Hoping too much for accidental solutions that are unrealistic
4. Just one setback and give up it all
5. Too much social media especially arguing about things that are not really important
6. Overlooking obvious things that would ease you in the long run for a bigger unobvious things - use mattress logic
7. Drugs, or anything that is addictive such as corn, PMO, and such things
Hope yall doing better bros and sis
okie dokie dougie.
@colinhogan5661To add to this: the breaching point of porn use is when it effects your daily perception of people. Nothing wrong about thinking someone is attractive, but you might want to ground yourself or step away when the first thing you think when you see someone you're attracted to is something quite sexual.
00:02 Bad money habits lead to misery
02:21 The impact of childhood money stories on adult behavior.
04:08 Identifying and avoiding the Mot and Bailey argument
05:58 Honesty and self-awareness can help identify and address bad habits.
07:57 Waiting creates false hope and leads to misery.
09:50 Setbacks can feel like a death sentence, but they're not as big as they seem.
11:33 Pushing through setbacks leads to growth
13:32 Focusing on everyday habits can lead to a better quality of life
15:17 Finding simple solutions can greatly improve your quality of life
17:06 Recognizing the net negative effects of drugs despite providing temporary happiness.
18:56 Conquered bad habit, no longer miserable
Thanks
Just click the video description. They did it for us.
@@franko8572 but then you can't use the AI bot for likes :((
@@sixfeetbelowhell Issabot!?
more often than not lately
On the topic of waiting.
While waiting for random events is bad, waiting with a purpose can be really soothing.
When I am in a train, and have to wait 1h to arrive. There is nothing I have to or should do in the meantime. I just have to wait and don't have to feel bad about it.
"I lived it. It was dumb." That's my new catchphrase for getting over past embarrassments. 😂
about "abandoning hope", i was taught that hope and fear are two branches of the same tree - which is projecting your expectations onto the future, when you should be being open to whatever may unfold ♥
never really thoughtful about that. yes, thank you! 😊
Abandoning hope is absolutely the worst advice for a depressed person
@@KlappKlo well, as said in the video, hope is not a substitute for an action plan. that's all it means to "abandon" it. don't rely on hope alone, you also need actions
@@verthandijal That's true, but ultimately phrased poorly on the part of the video maker. "Abandon(ing) hope" is equivalent to "giving up" in standard parlance - which he promptly goes on to use as a bad outcome of poor resilience in the very next topic. "Abandon fantasizing" or "Structure your hope" might be closer to the mark. It's effectively a "learn how to properly make and execute a plan" topic.
@@smallpseudonym2844 ok
The social media and opinions thing is so true. Cause there are so many times I have seen a discussion out of propotion, and I just sit there like "Why cant you guys see both the good and bad in each perspective, and come to a conclusion. Like no one outside of social media will care".
Yes, there is no proportional response or nuanced conversation! Very frustrating for thinking people!
procrastination = self care; that argument has been one I have played for myself MANY MANY MANY TIMES. thank you for highlighting it and talking through the habit (and habit-breaking)! 💕
In the midst of a bout of crying and feeling sad and sorry for myself, your video popped up and I began to laugh. Kind of like the sun beginning to shine during a rain shower. Great timing.
I had a lot of these, turns out I had severe undiagnosed ADHD. getting the right meds and support completely turned my life around at 37, to the point that I'm about to start a PhD that I never would have even attempted a few years ago.
Having said that I'm definitely going to take your advice and learn to chop veg properly. One of the things I really struggle with is feeding myself properly and not resorting to takeaways all the time. The fact that if I cook dinner it pretty much takes up the entire evening really doesn't help with that
Cooking faster will come as you cook more, and get comfortable with just a not perfect meal.
You can make big batches and keep some in the freezer to save time later. 🙂
Which medication helps you please, & what are the differences you notice? Kind regards. (& I agree with above, cooking efficiency improves with practice, & batch cooking is the best use of your cooking time. Bolognese sauce, chilli con carne & chicken casserole are my batching go-tos. I get whatever I want out of the freezer in the morning, & it's defrosted & ready to quickly reheat by evening.
@@bobbobert4884 I mean I've been feeding myself for decades and it still takes me hours to cook a proper meal from scratch. I've got a few meals I can do quickly that I eat most of the time.
@@JP-ve7or I don't have a big enough freezer to do that unfortunately!
00:34 number 1
03:58 number 2
06:20 number 3
10:31 number 4
12:14 number 5
13:41 number 6
16:19 number 7
Despite years of resistance, going from drugs that I had no clue about the precedence to pharmacy drugs really helped me with ADHD, anxiety and depression this year. I was lucky to find a psychiatrist who actually cares, but still, this change enabled me to see many other bad habits I kept on reinforcing just because they made me feel good at some point
Yeah, I like how tackling one problem gives you the strength and will power to tackle more.
My husband and I help each other with procrastination vs self care, we ask each other “are you sure you have the energy for this extra responsibility?” And “Are you sure you just can’t face things today? Are you sure you need this break or are you just trying to get out of doing something?”
Not only do i love the video but also how inspiring and supportive the comment section is here. So many random strangers all over the world all rooting for each other ❤
I hope you're finding fulfillment and a little satisfaction that your honesty and willingness to share your 'warts and all' is likely helping a lot more people than you know. It's no doubt frightening to be so vulnerable on a platform that doesn't always reward such courage. Thanks for what you do.
Thank you for being so open and honest with us all, Struthless. As another ordinary person who struggled with addiction, it's really encouraging to listen to your experience. ❤
I agree, it is about honesty. The you-tubers and friends that have gotten to that place of honesty after addiction are so refreshing to listen to. That has been my experience. Thank you Struthless, your videos resonate for sure!
What you said about your art teacher made me think of Brene Brown's work. This is from an interview she did.
“I used to believe, before I did the research for The Gifts of Imperfection… that there were creative people and there were non-creative people. And now I absolutely understand personally (and professionally from the data) that there are no such thing as non-creative people. There are just people who use their creativity and people who don’t. And unused creativity is not benign.
For the people who really struggle because they don’t think of themselves as creative, there’s a lot of shame around creativity. People don’t think of themselves as creative, they think creativity is self indulgent. They don’t think it is productive enough. They don’t understand what it means. It was shut down in them as children. For those folks, when I say “unused creativity is not benign”, what I really mean is it metastasizes into resentment, grief, heartbreak. People sit on that creativity or they deny it and it festers.
When I started the research on shame, you know, 13 years ago, I found that 85% of the men and women who I interviewed remembered an event in school that was so shaming, it changed how they thought of themselves for the rest of their lives. But wait - this is good - fifty percent of that 85% percent, half of those people: those shame wounds were around creativity. So fifty percent of those people have art scars. Have creativity scars.”
I think I need to get that book. I think it might fix me.
The sadness and struggle around my art is wrapped in so many layers of shame that I didn't even talk about it in therapy during the total of 5 years I went. I read so much about other people's experiences in hopes that they will have something I could find useful or implement to better my life but I have never come across this!?
@throughcolouredglasses9300 I find Brene Brown's work so inspiring, my favorite is a 6 disc audio set called The Power of Vulnerability from Sounds True but the Gifts of Imperfection is also a great one. She.also has two Ted talks. Anyway I send you support in your quest for understanding, and common experiences.
@throughcolouredglasses9300 No matter how many inspiring books you read or how much you intellectually understand them, the big change happens when you understand yourself and begin to actively create the shifts in your life. Take it in, absorb it, and then dive into yourself with the new knowledge and tools. A book can't fix anyone, but it can give you new tools to tinker with your life.
I'm sad to hear that your experience with therapy hasn't pulled the depths of color from your lenses out to witness. All too often do they remain too surface level to do any good. Even after years of skating that surface.
❤ you've got it though! The more you learn, the more tools you will have. Keep tinkering.
@@throughcolouredglasses9300Great, insightful post. How would you feel if you just went and started creating? Might be a joy, AND help with that wound.
I can't tell you how much I respect you, man. You've made the most impressive use of a sh*tty past I have ever seen. Seriously. You've helped me, I'm sure you've helped a ton of other people. I just love how upfront, honest, practical, and humble you are. It's amazing to me and I really hope that someday I can use my story to do something a fraction as beautiful as you've done with yours. You rock. God bless.
Gosh man, so relatable! From the alcohol to stop thinking to looking back at years of your life and wondering where your money went, and then discovering that the noise in your head is a condition and meds help... thanks for your vids. You make a difference in my life every day ❤
As someone who has grew up surrounded by drug addicts and losing multiple family members to drugs and alcohol;
I am so proud of you.
When I saw your smile upon mentioning your wife and kid, it made me happy...for you.
You look EXACTLY like my baby's daddy, and remembering those times just sent me spiraling.
See, we had a stillborn. I, not knowing how to handle this scenario, proceeded to go completely bat-spit crazy, lose everything I had, burn every bridge, become an addict , destroy everything and hated God...
I see him in you and if our son was alive, my baby's daddy would smile like you, being as he really does look just like you... But we don't talk anymore. We won't ever talk again...and this fact sucks !!! But...That's the past and almost a decade ago, so I need to not....
Not think about it anymore and get over it.
I've watched you since the beginning, and you have done amazingly and I'm happy for you!
Your doing great and thanks for the inspiration
God bless
You’re quickly becoming my favorite UA-camr for honesty alone. You’re fighting the fight with the rest of us.
After searching for months, I finally found a channel I can relate to. Thanks for doing all this. It means the world to people like me.
This must be one of my favourite videos of the internet and from you. And I'm not even half through yet. Thank you being honest, vulnerable and saying out loud things that most of us know, but do not acknowledge. Now, when hearing them (especially in your light way of presenting it and visualising it with images that show the real absurdity of these behaviours) it's like what you said "Honesty is one of the things that you know it when you see it". 👏🙌😇
Your channel was recommended to me, and I'm glad it was. Looking forward to exploring your channel more, I enjoy your delivery and insight.
I struggle with alcoholism.
My girlfriend does, too, and I'm not quite sure what I can do to help her moderate. It makes me worry.
Good luck to you!
@@lykepaws She has to want to moderate first and foremost...I wish you the best :)
@@HeavyMetalGirl23 Yes, that makes sense. Thanks for your reply!
Thanks for this. One thing you shared resonated: “Hope is not a strategy.”. And, the older I get, I’ve come to realize that pushing through setbacks = everyday life. 💪 Stay strong. Peace be with you. 💚
If you don't add "reddit" to your keyword search you're not using the internet right 😂
I've been watching your channel for a long time and it still amazes me how you can take a universal, complex feeling and logic us through to a less uncomfortable place. Thanks for your swirly twirly, spicy philosophic brain! (sidenote: silly purchases are worth it even just for the stories!)
Your sidenote is really true. I've hardly ever made any impulse purchases, certainly nothing bigger than a chocolate bar or something like that lol. So I kinda envy people with these crazy stories!
It takes a certain amount of gumption to make super large purchases like a van on a whim, or a one way ticket to another country, but I certainly envy the people that trust the process enough!!
It’s definitely worth investing in yourself though, be it that tattoo you’ve always dreamed of getting or finally buying a didgeridoo and learning to play. If life’s the journey, the side quests are the parts that make the picture worth looking at! 😊
So true I feel I’m not getting real research unless I take it the “Reddit” level 😂 it’s just always so much more insightful getting legit feedback from a bunch of strangers
* most likely to not be biased or advertised feedback that’s not from a library is my experience using Reddit. Learn so much more from it than what I learned from regular articles
The "waiting for a big break" was the most relatable thing I've ever heard in my life.
Thank you so much! 13.5 years clean and sober and am so happy I’ve run across your videos. They help me understand my thinking, or lack thereof.
Fellow clean and sober pal here! It works wonders figuring out your brain chemistry and getting on the right meds. With a clear, functioning brain on the mend, you can actually focus on fixing the other issues that led to the substance abuse.
usually working backwards helps too,
when did the substance start
when did the abuse start
can there be a use of the substance without abuse
if not, how can the feeling from the substance be substituted.. etc
Thank you. It's hard for me to admit this but I'm for sure an addict... to more than one drug nothing life threatening because of the drug itself but my behavior on said drugs. Your openness, your seriousness mixed with your presentation had me actually in tears from self realization that I've got bad habits man. And that feels bad man. I'm about to turn 30, it feels like a death sentence and that's so dramatic but it's the truth. I feel so meh and like I don't know what to do.
The money story - for sure... I've suspected and reconciled my money story a few times now I make a lot of cash then I procrastinate, play the waiting game, play the hope game, waiting for that call for the next movie gig for the next whatever. That self care lie holy fuck what a take. Thinking about my own set backs my own trauma surrounding just a kid wanting to make things once shot down and now to scared not knowing how to even start... and finally social media.
These things, on UA-cam a social media platform I've been procrastinating on for what years on now? This dopamine shot you've given me god I hope I can move it. I'm going to end my youtube dance today after writing this comment but you making this 19 minute heartfelt piece has brought me to tears and I think uncorked some deep seeded emotions and desires that I really needed to feel today. It's weird how things come into your life when maybe you need it the most. Struthless you have my upmost respect and I seriously appreciate the work that you do on your own. Your comment on the end about seeking professional help and getting the correct medication for your personal chemistry and situation... admitting I'm powerless... what a mind fuck. Thank you brother, I'm sending love your way. Thank you.
All the best, man. It's all fixable, and 30 is young, take it from me.
@@londongael414 I appreciate it, I know I do actually know. Sometimes when working on set for example I discover pretty regularly that I am in fact the youngest on my team... but fuck this last year with all the union delays shit got dicy and it just left time to reflect on well my 20's coming to an end.
@@JarredCordova Yeah, I know the feeling! But you know what the best time of my life was? My forties and fifties! You've figured a few things out, you know yourself better, you like yourself more, you begin to notice people treating you with...wow! actual respect! 30 sucks, but it really does get better - and you don't necessarily have to wait for ten years for that to start.
@@londongael414 Thank you seriously for taking the time! I’ll probably come back to this conversation again. I’m not like on an edge I think some serious reflection with age and it being December has me in a mood you know?
@@JarredCordova Cool! "Catcha!"😁
congratulations on the golden button, Cam! :)) i've been watching you since the beginning of covid cause i wanted to start drawing again, so i found your video that i've watched a dozen times on doing the same thing every day, and of course i stayed for more. i love how you evolved into life philosophy and mental health basically. i'm 32 and i feel the most stable and happy as i've ever been, and your videos were a big part of my journey to happiness and stability 💔❤ you make your points so clearly and illustratively that they get stuck in my head :) and i can retract them easily when i need to! thank you so much for that
Today I found out SLIPPERS are created to keep you warm at home 🤯 my life is full of these tiny moments right now, as I am on a path of recovery and reparenting. It feels so good to see someone else experiencing life in a similar way. Thank you 🙏🏻
I found myself nodding throughout the whole section on drugs. I do not have a drug addiction, but I have behavioral habits from a mental disorder that act similarly to addiction. I’m going to mull on the thought of accepting powerlessness and “you can only control the first drink.” Thanks for your authenticity!
so many self help channels seem to be rooted in this weird right wing grind culture. I appreciate this video so much for being more grounded and genuinely helpful. Thank you
I think when you said you gave up on hope, what you really gave up on was magical thinking. To a child there's no difference but learning to tell the imposter from the authentic is among the challenging lessons of adulthood.
Also, I synthesized a novelty Tshirt idea in the middle of watching the video. 💡
As always, your videos never fail to leave my heart smiling. It's one thing to give advice, but it's another to use your humanness to do it. Your vulnerability makes you so strong and everything you say and do 10x more impactful. Thank you for being human!!!
Your vids have helped me more than I can say. 52, was caregiver to elderly folks for years and lost them both within 6 weeks this year. Starting again with huge debt...on my own... unemployed....not giving up for a better life! Remaking my identity...my life. I don't usually comment but had to. Yesterdsy in my city of 60,000 someone won 25 million...second time in two months😂. I had to comment on the irony after you said "no one is coming..or you could win the lottery". I agree with everything you said, I just had to laugh out loud. Now..off to send job apps...and get a dang ticket! Keep smiling.😊
Thank you. Feels good to know I'm not alone. We get so fixated on ourselves we rarely see others experiencing the the same life.
Sorry about your art teacher bumming you out so much you hit a 10 streak of not drawing. Glad you found your way back to art. I find that scenario relatable; I too have had a bummer art teacher who made me abandon art for a long time, but have returned to be stronger than ever.
I just love your videos. I watch every one. Not just the quality, but the vulnerability and the humor, the person you are. You’ve got such a lovely soul. Thank you for choosing to share your work with us!
Wow abandon hope, how profound!
You must be strong to abandon hope.
“abandon all hope yeh who enters here”
is the key to happiness
I read this Dr. Suess book weekly to my son at bedtime, to this very day (8years) I feel very emotional and frustrated when I come to The Most Useless Place. This resonates w me in some way I cannot understand at a conscious level. I absolutely HATE waiting.
Thank you 🙏 this video quite literally saved me today. It was painful to hear at some parts but also incredibly uplifting. You don’t know how many people you have helped with your videos! I always come back here not just for the mental heath advice but also for your creative projects because you’re truly one of the most genuine and fun!!! UA-camr I’ve come across here
1M subs! So well deserved to get that plaque. I feel inspired to just keep pushing along to my goals. I feel like such a hipster since I was watching your videos before everyone discovered you. I was just looking for art inspiration when I found your channel.
You know, this was a really great reinforcement for me. Over the last couple months, I've started hanging onto more money, cooking, working out, and generally holding myself accountable again. It's HARD as a man with impulse control as poor as mine, but hey! It's possible. Thanks for keeping me on course, man. Plenty more work left to do.
i really needed to hear that 'setback' part because i just got a shitty day at work and i thought i am just incapable of doing the job altogether. today i'm trying to get back on track and this video helps so much. thank you!!!
There is an ancient Chinese proverb that states "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to do it is right now", and that quote has stuck with me for quite a long time now. We as humans beat ourselves up thinking about what we could have done with our lives, but we don't think about how much we can still do to fix them.
This has been a rough year where a lot of shit has just been stacked up on me, and I have to say this might be one of the best self help channels by a man I’ve found. I’ve tried looking up a lot of self help videos for men only for them to either be Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan or just alt-right grifters talking about how men don’t go to war anymore or whatever, but you’re just a genuinely good dude trying to help others, and I really respect that man. Keep doing what you’re doing
Surround yourself with LIKE-MINDED people who are GOOD FOR YOUR PHYSICAL SOCIAL AND MENTAL HEALTH 👏👏👏
19:04 i relate to so much of that last part man, props...
The worst about my current issues with moderation is that i truly think it is something i've developped when consuming that i was actually quite strong about before. Addictions and loss of will and self-discipline and control seemed like completely alien problems to me, and a part of me wants to believe i can get back to that version of me. It is hard to accept.
That phrase "Abandoning hope, which sounds miserable, actually made me so much happier" reminds me a lot of one of the concepts talked about in 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck' by Mark Manson.
"The pursuit of positive experience is a negative experience and the acceptance of negative experience is itself a positive experience"
Or something like that. Anyway, it's really interesting to see that reflected in your experiences so thank you for sharing that
Damn.. you mentioning the Love that comes with Regret is so real. That’s been a huge setback for me. Picking up my passions again and feeling all the progress I could have made. Instead of pushing past it and making do with the time I have no, I turn away out of shame or the feeling it’s “too late” UGHHHH
RE: #4 - honestly this DOES get better and easier with age (65-year-old here). It’s like how people describe the tragedy of suicide-a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your goal is to shorten that period of time between when the setback occurs (in your case, for example, the art teacher giving you the brush) and the point at which you figure out it doesn’t MATTER. If you all can shorten that length of time, you move forward with whatever you want to achieve more quickly with less pain and true suffering. Because the suffering and shame is real, unfortunately. Keep your head on straight and your eyes and heart on what you want to do-we can all do it!
Things got worse for me with age. I used to live life beautifully. Now I feel bad every day on every level and I’ve tried everything. Not looking for pity just maybe some understanding and some comforting & love before the end
The self-care lie is one I didn't realize I was telling myself until this video. thank you!
I have this with work. During work I will get distracted or do other stuff so extremely often that it is tiring. I keep telling myself it is to keep myself sane because I have a hard time keeping myself motivated on work.
I already reached out to get some therapy or diagnose to maybe get some meds or habit to deal with me being distracted, but atm I am on my own and it is intense. I get so bad I can't concentrate on menial tasks like writing this comment lmao.
( me allowing myself to indulge in the distractions is me using the excuse "Self-care" )
I appreciate you being open with your history of drugs and addiction! I decided 2024 is the start to me being sober and i realized the same things you mentioned, the positive i used to get from drinking were now negatives and I can't do moderation, so finding someone be so open about this is really helpful!!
Me: "I procrastinate"
Also me: "I PROCRASTINATE BECAUSE MY ANXIETY STOPS ME"
Also me realising I can do things with small steps at the time. Things don't need to be perfect. I don't need to be the best. If I just listen to those, I will for sure complete things regardless of how anxious I am.
Oh man... The perfectionism in every conversation I enter is the sole contributor of stagnating any progress I could have gotten. I believe it's from my excessive Internet addiction, I just compare myself to the pinnacle of conversation then never realize other people have the same awkward situations and lack thereof good topics, but of course I'll never understand that until I've fully committed to being the alright talker and not the perfect being with no mistakes.
Thank you for your honesty. It was a gift. How something works is a lot more educational than "Don't do that stuff!".
Hey Struthless, thank you for doing these videos, they be helping A LOT with my stuff and mostly and this is something I found out about quite recently is that when my head gets busy like overwhelmed with people, noise and everything around me, your voice is actually something that calms me down. Actually out of all things, like classical music, lofi music etc. its only your voice and your videos that really make me stop, chill for a minute and actually rethink the situation thats goin on at the moment. So thank you again for you, for the videos and for making my days better.
What helped me a lot was do things super slow on purpose. Like taking a day to slowly declutter my room. Instead of: "I will do this right now and finish it in 30 min, because thats how much time I need when I do it seriously"
I have heard of self care as an excuse for bad habbits so many times, thankyou for pointing out this logical fallacy
Thanks man, I loved the way you talked about your life so openly. And the non-chalance, and I loved your giggle at the end. You've got an beautiful voice that I could listen to all day. Really appreciate your pouring out of your soul!
You are so amazingly inspiring! I could put it into a million more words, but.. Yeah, thanks for your honesty, the incredible production quality and thought behind your videos. I really hope you can feel the good you do for all your viewers, and feel pride on days that might be grey
Yes for the all or nothing mindset! The second I decided drinking was a problem I decided I'd quit. Moderation was never an option because I know I just can't do it. It goes for food too, there are things that are just not allowed in my house and for some reason people don't get this. Balance is overrated.
Congrats for the youtube creator awards! Super happy to see that you now reached 1M subs!
Thank you for sharing this! Congratulations on the well-deserved mil, which I hope is the first of many. Your work has touched the lives of so many people, and I can honestly say you've changed my life in many ways!
The mattress logic part was such an eye-opener. For sure I'm applying this. Reminds me of how UPS workers have many efficiency hacks to save precious seconds. If I'm gonna chop vegetables I'm gonna do it the right way, haha.
Man... 9:03 the abandoning of hope, when you say it, really reminds me of the concept of wishing [Wünschen] from Heidegger in being and time. May as well, in this context, use the wording interchangeably-not wanting of course to degrade their significance, but doing so. Very interesting to see how each person recognizes such problems and talks about them. Very good video!
The food prep thing is so true, haha! I was 39 when I learned how to do easy sautéed chicken breasts, and it's almost embarrassing how something so seemingly insignificant can improve your life, directly and indirectly.
Can't even begin to describe the quality of this video. I want to hug you brother... thanks for this. I needed this!
Thank you for this video, it's great to hear the perspective of someone that's actually gone through these things and truly wishes to help. I will definitely be coming back to this video from time to time to help remind myself of my goals, thank you 💙
Thank you! I needed this, so much truth,(from the Struth) and an encouraging reminder we are not alone in our struggles. ❤
What a dawg. I became unsettled when you mentioned the waiting topic, then you gave your story about illustration and I fully understand what you’re saying now.
I’m trying to get better with money but I just don’t care about it enough. It comes and goes and I enjoy what I’ve gotten to do with it. I grew up poor and know how to do without so I’m not afraid to lose it all. I know I can rebuild. I am getting older though, so it’s time I start caring so the money can care for me when I’m too old to rebuild
I've never met anyone that could put this into words but this helped.
Woah! Your channel looks amazing!!
Thank you man. I'll try this "no hoping" for the next months, it had to work for me. See you in 2024 🏆👀🐐☺️🇮🇹
Honestly your videos have been helping me confront the same issues. I've been stuck so long I've lost confidence in myself to do my own work my way. I'm terrified of something and I can't figure out what, your advice helps me cut out the noise and comforts me that this is normal for other adults to do too and that I'm not a unique fuck up, disappointing my loved ones. I greatly appreciate this
This is great advice. You're not just projecting and casting judgement on others, but instead each bullet point came from personal experience. I am 41 and still struggle with just about all of those things. Going to make a physical list of these so I can reflect on a regular basis (especially the part about drugs).
Somewhere I read that hope is "longing for a future condition over which you have no agency". That definition was an epiphany for me, but I don't bring it up in conversation very much, I've learned it challenges the traditional meaning of hope and makes people defensive.
Hey Struthless, man.... I'm happy you're here with us.... For us. In doing good for yourself we've been able to hear those words that you share even when you're not speaking them.
Thank you.
There's also the opposite to all of these, which I especially have with self-care. I know the difference between self-care and procrastination. I label everything that takes up my time without being productive as a distraction, but the thing is that I don't have self-care, and I've often used self-care as the label for me DOING work and not letting myself rest. I use up all my "me time" on something that isn't me, and instead I'm either distracted or working on a project instead of taking care of my health, so that's something I'm trying to learn. I have realizing what procrastination is beat, but loving myself... Gosh, I never thought learning to take care of me would be so hard.
Back to applying for jobs and got my first rejection today. Felt shit. This video was so perfectly timed for me.
Dude, I just love your content!
I hope I can always count on your videos along my lifetime in this world. And I also hope you have a wonderful life in this journey.
Thanks my man!
Thank you so so much Campbell!! ❤ Time after time I watch your videos and learn so much. We‘re all so freakin similar it‘s almost frightening. We may all come from different places but the stories we experience and the lessons we learn can be so similar. Your videos inspire me to become a better person. And while I know that this is such a highly generic sentence I mean it with all my heart. So proud of you, you‘re making the world a better place!❤
This was fantastic! I bought your book right away. Thank you for mentioning it.
I disagree politely with abandoning hope. There is a healthy dosage of hope and a false sense of hope (related to the waiting for a big break topic.) For things related for what we have no control over, hope does help us. i.e. family members battling an illness, or an application we send for a job, or hoping others show up in time. It's important to not lose hop in many of life circumstances and build that muscle. Hope definitely has helped me get through a lot. I do think you are right about how detrimental waiting can be, and how prolific it is in literature and film.
It's also common to excuse procrastination as "planning"
Stop calling me out!
Is thay really a thing? I always associate procrastination with not doing what matters most.
Just stumbled on this video but whoa man
You are amazing
I'm so fricking proud of you
Thanks for making videos, I'm inspired to keep drawing again :') and take responsibility for myself too
You are a hero ❤❤❤ keep at it my man!
The part about drugs filling multiple part of your life is so true. It also applies to smoking... And was one of the most difficult parts to quit it all
One of the most accurate descriptions I've heard regarding substances and addiction. Thanks for articulating it.
Definitely relate to a few of these. I especially liked what you said about false optimism, and a belief that there’s some big break around the corner. An inspiring watch indeed. Cheers mate.
I feel like your videos and advice are so relatable and relevant because you present info as the things that have worked for you personally, not just what "professionals" say should work.
Thank you for showing that sharing our lives with others, being a bit vulnerable and open to better things, can be scary but worth the risk, worth the investment in our Self ❤
Awesome! Thank you for your transparency. Thank you for all the visual examples. I bought your book. It's Great! Keep going man!❤
I have ADHD and an iguana. Preparing meals for him takes a huge chunk out of my day. So thank you for the tip about the knife because the one I'm using isn't very sharp but it never occurred to me to replace it. 🤦♀️
Using a smaller sharp serrated knife can make the world of difference when cutting smaller pieces of veg and meat. You don't need a massive knife, but something good quality that fits in your hand. Also, study some chopping techniques and focus on the task of cutting. 😊
I used to paint and draw and all the things. A teacher I admired said something I interpreted as negative and I didn't draw or paint again for the rest of time.
a 3ft LAVA LAMP objectively makes your life SIGNIFICANTLY better, come on… 😤
As someone who just had a breakdown at work and had to go home and take the next day off, this video feels personal
(Ive got therapy booked in for next week so we good)
Just wanna toss it out here for ya Struthless. I’ve worked security for most of my life and as you’d expect, I have an extremely dark view on drugs. I’m also not artistic at all, and find most self help stuff to be quite frankly people preaching things they don’t follow themselves just for content. However, you seem to be a great guy, you put out really entertaining and engaging content and for what it’s worth, I reckon you’ve turned your life around and proven that hard work, drive and dedication can make you make anything you want to happen actually happen. Not that it means anything, but you’ve earned my respect.