My theory of Trump's words having a tenuous relation to reality is something like an idiot savant situation. He's apparently good at reading people and crowds and saying things that get good responses, but it tends to be at the expense of his words being true or meaningful. In fact his priorities in what he says has truthfulness way down on the list below bragging, defensive petty attacks, Fox and Friends soundbites, etc. This is the Narcissist in chief, that needs his cheers more than anything. So I guess I'd say yes, he probably is, or at least was proud when he said that. When the grownups point out his errors, his pride might take a hit or two though.
Not many people know this but Hurricane Dorian is even more tremendously big and tremendously wet than Hurricane Florence because it's made out of water, big water, ocean water. Not many people know that, believe me. --- Donnie the stable genius
@@joyphillips1821 Then shouldn't the president following Obama have learned from the example to do better? By your logic, Trump *really* has no excuse! Wow, you're pretty harsh on the guy, and coming from me, that's saying something.
Matt Sena but that's when the mutations happen...I wanna water world. Why should Kevin Costner be the only one to dance with wolves and sleep with the fishes.
Trump says: " Wait! What?! Alabama is in the United States?! Who let them in??? I guess we'll just have to deport them back to wherever the heck they came from!"
"You have the memory of a goldfish, to go along with the skin tone..." HAHA Oh how I missed you Stephen! Thanks for keeping me sane throughout this radioactive hurricane: tRUMP.
Honestly,America will collapse without Trump,police and whites.I live in Baltimore,this whole city is a hood.Yesterday somebody called me white piece of trash and spilled water on me,is this my America? Outsiders may talk about innocent migrants but we have to live here,we know what happens when they become a majority.
Nuke a hurricane? That's like the "George Of The Jungle" episode where George tried to make rain by building a catapult full of rocks. George explained, "George throw rocks at clouds. Clouds cry. Make rain." And he did throw rocks at the clouds. And it did rain... rocks. "Radioactive hurricane"; Trumpism in a nutshell.
I also vote for this. As a reason, put down national emergency. The emergency is we all need counseling to deal with the tremendous amount of bullshit in the world... most of it currently from the White House...
Fix News - No, everyone’s aware of it. But pointing it out does no good. His supporters are too busy covering their ears and saying, “LA-LA-LA-LA He’s a stable genius LA-LA-LA-LA!!!”
no incoherent statement he says means anything, his supporters already accepted that and saying " i dont care what he says, i care what he does" . end of story
@cak01vej (The link is dead.) Hm, I would disagree. Yes, nuclear explosion generates large volume of hot air, which then rises up. This causes winds of cold air to the epicenter. However, the same principle powers the hurricane (In this case, warm water is the source of heat.) The difference is, due to enormous width of the hurricane, Coriolis force comes into play (Earth's rotation causes wind to deflect when it moves through different lattitudes. When there are two winds from north and south blowing to the eye, deflection happens to different sides and a whirpool forms. Pictures are a lot more helpful here. Wiki is your friend :) ) So, I think, the nuclear explosion would feed the hurricane instead of destroying it.
@@MsElla415 I mean yeah I'm actually serious I thought like Trump and the boys came down and finally bagged everyone. I was so worried and then I was like no that can't be a real thing... or can it? This is a man that also said he would nuke a hurricane, so... I just don't know anymore. I know nothing.
I meant to reply, not like. See how I can admit a mistake, unlike Trump? The people who researched nuking hurricanes for decades...decades AGO...also seem to have tacitly admitted their mistake by no longer researching it. It was probably after they realized how harmful radioactivity is and that it can travel. But who needs Bermuda, right?
Look, I don’t have direct proof that he said it. I am arguing really against you trying to legitimize the idea by saying “it was researched for years by (50s?) scientists”, to cover your ass just in case he actually said it, which is plausible, based on other ridiculous things we know he has said, in public. At the same time in the same damn post you try to distance Trump and yourself from the alleged quote by saying “prove” that he said the dangerous thing you just tried to legitimize. Are you arguing both sides of the issue? Pretty disingenuous. Now prove Colbert is a “communist”!
@@James-dtexTexas _so how rich is the Professor now ?_ ...Because that's how intelligence is measured? Holy shit, if there's anyone more pathetic than Dolt 45, it's his supporters. Regardless, Dolt 45 inherited his fortune from his daddy just like he inherited a thriving economy from Obama.
Thank god you’re back cathartic Stephen! Every day ‘Gump’ news makes me upset: exhausted and i’m not even a US citizen. My condolences to those of you who live in the US and feel the same way 😘 I can’t imagine being bombarded with this dotardfish any more than I am in Bloody Australia! ✌️
Sure, you Australians always say you feel bad for us, but as soon as I try to citizenship marry my way the hell away from this broken political system and its giant orange baby avatar you’re nowhere to be seen
Sorry Jacob Davenport, but can you blame us? What kind of politician would we end up with, if American started voting in our elections🤨 If it helps, we also; have some terrible politicians with nasty policies also!
Jacob Davenport... I’ll speak to Jacinda. Perhaps NZ can have a Non-Voting, Non-Gun-Carrying, Must love thy Neighbour clause built into Visas for Americans. I’m sure we can come up with something. We do encourage refugees. A view from afar
I'm from Algeria and when i said to my father that trump wants to nuke the hurricane my mother, never gone to school before, said to me :" is he an idiot ? ! " ...oh my God i love this president, he is the dumbest. Hahaha
He's just doing it for the ratings. He's been very careful with real military action so far outside of a failed raid, authorizing MOAB usage in Afghanistan, and a limited strike in Syria. Not sure on the drone war its all gone back into the shadows again.
GuyaneseSuperman I didn’t either and I am sure it is sarcasm but it can be very hard to tell nowadays, particularly since it is difficult to get tone into a comment. We may need some kind of sarcasm notation similar to ! for surprise or excitement. It is a little depressing that we now find ourselves in need of such.
A little about our great country : National bird - Bald Eagle National mammal - Bison National anthem- Star Spangled Banner National motto - In God we trust . . National embarrassment - Donald Trump
Exactly! trump was not listening during the briefing (as usual since it wasn't about him) distantly heard "Bahama is in grave danger..." but since trump is geographically challenged and has never heard of the Bahamas, changed it to Alabama in his tiny little brain.
Mike Pence shares Donald Trump's complete lack of morals, and far right views, but he's also a competant politician. Donald Trump is evil, but one good thing about him is he's too incompetant to really achieve anything. Mike Pence could really do lasting damage if he got into the Oval Office.
That is is so true. The two have got to work it out that both are not away at the same time! We can't go through this alone with that nightmarish resident in the WH😔
because there's no way to review previous entertaining and educational shows to keep abreast of current events. it all MUST be New for YOU. because history means nothing. in these off times, it's a good idea to get caught up on your Nation's History so you don't repeat mistakes settled back in the 19th and 20th and 18th centuries
I'M embarrassed the U.S. President said on National Tv he has never "Heard of a Category 5 Hurricane "America Bow Your Heads In Silence "!!!! We are ashamed.
I am SO glad you are back, Stephen Colbert! Everything in the news for the past two weeks just wasn't the same without you interpreting for me, lol. Welcome back.
@Y B my name is German and I'm German also and what you read in English has a different meaning in Germany. You are a very narrow-minded person if you think that everybody's login name is automatically in English in our global way of communicating here on UA-cam. Just for your information "Die = the, Pippa a synonym for my name, vom = from, BR = Betriebsrat = works Counsil. You have a nice life and keep out of mine.
William H. Baird yeah, but not fast enough and why now? He was horrible from the start. I’ve lost respect for quite a few friends and family by their insistence that he is so much better than “the libs”, or blaming any problem on “Obama”. Tbh, my life isn’t all that different between Bush, Obama or Trump
@@dougherbert7899 Those people aren't your real family or friends. Sanction and brand them in shame for the rest of their shitty lives for causing this mess we are in.
It's ok. Their base wouldn't know who I am talking about, so they can't use it. But they have the Russians and a complicit party. That is scary enough.
Missed u Mr. Colbert, and prayers to all those in the Bahamas
It just keeps getting worse and worse... Someone please make it stop!
The hurricane will pass by so no worr...oh you mean trump right?
so glad youre back! ive been lonely without you stephen! :(
Yes indeed, sometimes their vacation seem too long , this one was just a week and a day.
@@jozz2248 seemed like forrrevverrrrr!!!
@@jozz2248 2 weeks and a day
Beruset Visånd Yes, kind of like this administration.
@@kathyeubanks5524 does seem like it's been forever and a day. @Ancient Alien oh, thanks. That makes me feel better.
I’m confused - is he proud that Dorian is a Cat 5 so he can claim HIS Hurricane is BIGGER than Obama’s?
Trump...Obama never had a catagory 5 hurricane, he's a loser I've had the biggest and best one's ever in the history of hurricanes.
Did anyone notice that his audience was cheering after Trump said this will be a category five ? Dear Lord help us !!
My theory of Trump's words having a tenuous relation to reality is something like an idiot savant situation. He's apparently good at reading people and crowds and saying things that get good responses, but it tends to be at the expense of his words being true or meaningful. In fact his priorities in what he says has truthfulness way down on the list below bragging, defensive petty attacks, Fox and Friends soundbites, etc. This is the Narcissist in chief, that needs his cheers more than anything.
So I guess I'd say yes, he probably is, or at least was proud when he said that. When the grownups point out his errors, his pride might take a hit or two though.
You got it in one.
Lol
Oh man I missed you so much Stephen! Never leave us again please
I've been dying without my comedy. Like seriously (maybe its because I dont have my prozac) my depression has been hitting me like a freight train
Not many people know this but Hurricane Dorian is even more tremendously big and tremendously wet than Hurricane Florence because it's made out of water, big water, ocean water. Not many people know that, believe me. --- Donnie the stable genius
Yes, and I remember the stupidity of the Obama administration... he wasn't prepared for Hurricane Katrina either or Hurricane Sandy...
I can't wait to see SNL's skit for this one.
@@joyphillips1821 Then shouldn't the president following Obama have learned from the example to do better? By your logic, Trump *really* has no excuse!
Wow, you're pretty harsh on the guy, and coming from me, that's saying something.
So it's a sharknado
@@joyphillips1821 you're either being sarcastic or stupid, bush was president during Katrina.
One of the few things more horrifying than being in a category 5 hurricane is being in a radioactive category 5 hurricane
His next plan is to throw sharks at them, see if that disrupts it. Might just make a Sharknado. Experts are unsure.
That's all we need
Matt Sena but that's when the mutations happen...I wanna water world. Why should Kevin Costner be the only one to dance with wolves and sleep with the fishes.
In all fairness, I don't think Trump knows where Alabama is located...
Wow! Damn good POINT!
Jonathan Kulesa : 🇬🇧 Half the time I don't think he even knows where he is.
Is it in the US? - just trying to help.
Trump says: " Wait! What?! Alabama is in the United States?! Who let them in??? I guess we'll just have to deport them back to wherever the heck they came from!"
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
If only a storm could drown out his tweets.😒
melissa weyrick perhaps Stormy Daniels could
I dont know if you know this. But, the water (in the storm) is DOTDOTDOTDOTELITSON is
EXTREMELY DOTDOTDOTDOT
WET!
you ain't just ashittin' either..
If only a storm could take him away indefinitely.
Omar Vasquez STORMY WATCH
"You have the memory of a goldfish, to go along with the skin tone..." HAHA
Oh how I missed you Stephen! Thanks for keeping me sane throughout this radioactive hurricane: tRUMP.
that was one of the best jokes i have heard lately xD
An insult to goldfish everywhere.
Same joke as Jimmy Kimmel had tonight.
Marsh Wetland two times the charm.
He has the same size brain too.
My sink is clogged..... so I dropped stick of dynamite in septic tank. No more clog!
Just like d t's mara loser resort...nice outside, shit-hole inside.
Mike Kirkelie 😂😂😂😂
Hell, no more kitchen.
🤣🤣
If trump sees your comment, he is going to want to hire you.
Trump: “Never heard of a category 5....”
Me: *stares in Puerto Rican*
Dear Lord, please save us from this natural disaster. And, if there's time, save us from the hurricane. 😰
Excuse me but Trump is a National Disaster, and an Un-Natural Disaster, being a Human Orangoutang Hybrid, but there is nothing "Natural" about him...
God doesn't listen to people unless they call upon him in mercy. He certainly isn't going to listen to a liberal.
@@joyphillips1821 Dude...
Dear Lord, please save ur people from this man-made disaster, ur sitting president- Trump.
Haha well played! Have a lovely week!
As I scroll down to give a thumbs up. To everyone! All these comments are a thumbs up! So many of you are on point!
Here, have a thumbs up
You are on point yourself. Thumbs up from me :)
Here's the lesson folks; don't teach your senile grandpa how to use Twitter.
Lol
I'm surprised his staff haven't tried to break his fingers by now.
R. McBride. : luckily or NOT , his fingers are too small to grab .
@@barrycolley8079 LMAO!!!
😅🤣😂
So good to have you back. We need all the humor we can get during Trump's presidency.
I’m afraid you’re going to run out of ink .
From Germany too: *You have been missed* , Mr. Colbert ,-)
Ditto in England 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 My God I have missed this man.. .
@@misslanapford9169 me too
Hurricane Katrina: I'm the worse thing that could ever happen to the US.
Donald Trump: Hold my nuke.
LOL!! ROTF! Thank you for that.
That's an awesome joke!!😂😂😂
ua-cam.com/video/sChapaeZO5Y/v-deo.html
OMG! I can't believe he actually suggested that! Yikes!
Trump: "Take that, WIND!"
I have missed you stephen....having to deal with Trump without you around to keep me sane, is difficult to say the least
Honestly,America will collapse without Trump,police and whites.I live in Baltimore,this whole city is a hood.Yesterday somebody called me white piece of trash and spilled water on me,is this my America? Outsiders may talk about innocent migrants but we have to live here,we know what happens when they become a majority.
looking to a late night talk show host for political advise definitely sums up the majority of the democratic party
I miss old Stephen when he wasn't a sell out husk of a human being.
@@holdenrbishop Aww, what a smart(ass) kid!
@@Ortorin that was a detrimental blow to my ego
Stephen Colbert! You make me laugh every time. YOU ROCK
Bomb the hurricane. Really.
Can we get someone in charge who doesn't get his ideas from Sharknado?
But I mean, at least it would look cool.
Renato Corvaro I would like to see that in a simulation because I agree that it would look pretty damn cool lol
LOL
Hi I'm Donald trump and welcome to jackass
Sharknado was a great movie
Radioactive Hurricane is actually a pretty good metaphor for Trump's presidency. Or band name.
OldieBones and a good name for a rock group.
@@thechumpsbeendumped.7797 or a pro wrestler.
Or a movie. Like Sharknado.........>_>
That movie is coming out in 2021!!
Maybe we could send the hurricane to the Amazon using HARPP. Think that would be a better idea.
The band name thing, thats cool.
Whoever came up with "gnat fart" is brilliant! There should be a moment of silence after everything Trump says, followed by a little 'phphpt!' LOL
THANK you Stephen for coming back. We needed you these past weeks.
Can we fact check the "2 week break"? I'm pretty sure it was 9 weeks bruh.
😂 agree!
M wit u
I thought it was a thousand years of darkness.
L K that’s what I was fixing to say! It has been so fucking long since I’ve seen this guy! I feel like every other week has been a break
Facts, him and Trevor need to take turns
Nuke a hurricane? That's like the "George Of The Jungle" episode where George tried to make rain by building a catapult full of rocks. George explained, "George throw rocks at clouds. Clouds cry. Make rain." And he did throw rocks at the clouds. And it did rain... rocks.
"Radioactive hurricane"; Trumpism in a nutshell.
This is our president, people. We are so fucked!
Hahahaha!!!
Nathaniel Hellerstein He always funds ways to lower the bar 😀
Who said nuke a hurricane? Surely not Trump? Do you have source?
LMAOOO
Trump: So Adele can set fire to the rain but I can't nuke a hurricane? Very unfair!
Creator 🤣🤣
Creator Legend, you are.
Hahahaha oh my God! That was funny!
Creator if you want this to be a proper quote change very unfair to just SAD!
Maybe the reason Trump can't remember Category 5 hurricanes is that he's never been stuck in one.
So, the next time one comes around, ...
1:12 I don’t read Trump Tweets. I wait for Stephen to read them to me. It’s like bedtime story!
Kasey under rated 🙌🏽🤣
Dot dot dot dot dot dot 😂😂
😂😂😂
it free entertainment ! cant wait for the movie !
Kasey the witch Kelly conherway to hell composes all of trumpbums tweets
Stephen you and Seth need to stagger your vacations so you both arent gone at the same time! Please get on that,thx!
Preferably before we all lose our minds!
I also vote for this. As a reason, put down national emergency. The emergency is we all need counseling to deal with the tremendous amount of bullshit in the world... most of it currently from the White House...
I wrote that same sentiment on Seth's "A Closer Look" segment video.
Co signed!
@@imaginationgal1 IKR? These guys are helping us stay sane...I think they are national treasures IMHO.
"I don't know that I even heard the term, but I knew they existed."
Does nobody else have a problem with that statement?
Fix News - No, everyone’s aware of it. But pointing it out does no good. His supporters are too busy covering their ears and saying, “LA-LA-LA-LA He’s a stable genius LA-LA-LA-LA!!!”
3:49 Yes. You're not alone.
Yeah when he first said it. I was like ....huh????
no incoherent statement he says means anything, his supporters already accepted that and saying " i dont care what he says, i care what he does" . end of story
@@StanleyKowalski. unfortunately it is what he does
I don't even know how to respond to anything that the orange oompa loompa says anymore. Each time he says something, it's just more and more abnormal.
Please tell us , do you think the orange man is bad ??
Remember when your teachers said there are no bad ideas? They were wrong.
@cak01vej you got a big brain
"This is no such thing as a stupid question...until YOU ask it. Yes."
@cak01vej
(The link is dead.)
Hm, I would disagree. Yes, nuclear explosion generates large volume of hot air, which then rises up. This causes winds of cold air to the epicenter. However, the same principle powers the hurricane (In this case, warm water is the source of heat.) The difference is, due to enormous width of the hurricane, Coriolis force comes into play (Earth's rotation causes wind to deflect when it moves through different lattitudes. When there are two winds from north and south blowing to the eye, deflection happens to different sides and a whirpool forms. Pictures are a lot more helpful here. Wiki is your friend :) )
So, I think, the nuclear explosion would feed the hurricane instead of destroying it.
@cak01vej even if it can stop the hurricane it still a stupid idea.
Do you think he'll want to buy the Bahamas now?
There are fine hurricanes, on both sides.
alexander williams 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Omg😂
😂😂😂
QUICK RAKE THE NUKES
you know that's gonna be his answer to pakistan lol
Welcome back Stephen Colbert. I won’t bother you for having a break. Most sane people do it.
Rose S Yes, and nose sane people take a break from tweeting as well...most sane people.
I was so scared they took him away. That they stole Stephen Colbert.
That's the only way to stay sane.
Yeah, but he needs to not do it when Trevor does. 2 weeks with out them both was awful
@@MsElla415 I mean yeah I'm actually serious I thought like Trump and the boys came down and finally bagged everyone. I was so worried and then I was like no that can't be a real thing... or can it? This is a man that also said he would nuke a hurricane, so... I just don't know anymore. I know nothing.
Republicans would never let this go If a democratic president said all of this. Especially a radioactive hurricane haha
I meant to reply, not like. See how I can admit a mistake, unlike Trump? The people who researched nuking hurricanes for decades...decades AGO...also seem to have tacitly admitted their mistake by no longer researching it. It was probably after they realized how harmful radioactivity is and that it can travel. But who needs Bermuda, right?
Look, I don’t have direct proof that he said it. I am arguing really against you trying to legitimize the idea by saying “it was researched for years by (50s?) scientists”, to cover your ass just in case he actually said it, which is plausible, based on other ridiculous things we know he has said, in public. At the same time in the same damn post you try to distance Trump and yourself from the alleged quote by saying “prove” that he said the dangerous thing you just tried to legitimize. Are you arguing both sides of the issue? Pretty disingenuous. Now prove Colbert is a “communist”!
Yahoo Stephen is back, laughter keeps me sane.❤️☮️
Hi from sunny London Town - l completely agree with you - l miss him SO MUCH - the President is like gold dust to the comedians. X
Lovely Skull we e missed him haven’t we?
Oh, how I have missed you Stephen!
Missed you! Welcome back!
Marcy C, I really like your Rainbow 🌈 Canadian Flag!
So much trump and news to recap, these 2 weeks of no late shows feels like ages
2 weeks becomes 2 years.
Errrr... you get your news from late shows?
@@globalwarmhugs7741 no I get my jokes about the news from late shows
@@bahaadeenal-ees1488 haha!! Well said. Have a good night, friend. 😋
@@bahaadeenal-ees1488 also, if that is indeed your real name, it rolls beautifully off the tongue! (Linguistics major.)
“Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had” Professor Kelley - Wharton.
bm packer ... so how rich is the Professor now ?
@@James-dtexTexas well...he's a professor at an ivy league school so I'm pretty sure he's doing well. On top of that he's much smarter than Trump.
@@James-dtexTexas - And how many bankruptcies has he had to file?
@@davegoodwin1848 didn't he die sometime in 2012? He was pretty old. Imagine if he had lived long enough to see Trump become president.
@@James-dtexTexas _so how rich is the Professor now ?_
...Because that's how intelligence is measured? Holy shit, if there's anyone more pathetic than Dolt 45, it's his supporters. Regardless, Dolt 45 inherited his fortune from his daddy just like he inherited a thriving economy from Obama.
Thank god you’re back cathartic Stephen!
Every day ‘Gump’ news makes me upset: exhausted and i’m not even a US citizen.
My condolences to those of you who live in the US and feel the same way 😘 I can’t imagine being bombarded with this dotardfish any more than I am in Bloody Australia! ✌️
Same, and I'm in Aus too 😉
car. A from melb, how about you?
Sure, you Australians always say you feel bad for us, but as soon as I try to citizenship marry my way the hell away from this broken political system and its giant orange baby avatar you’re nowhere to be seen
Sorry Jacob Davenport, but can you blame us? What kind of politician would we end up with, if American started voting in our elections🤨
If it helps, we also; have some terrible politicians with nasty policies also!
Jacob Davenport... I’ll speak to Jacinda. Perhaps NZ can have a Non-Voting, Non-Gun-Carrying, Must love thy Neighbour clause built into Visas for Americans. I’m sure we can come up with something. We do encourage refugees.
A view from afar
good luck American friends. Something is currently devastating your country and it's not a hurricane.
😂😂😂 we know😭😭😭
Yeah, this skin rash has been here for a while.
In his mind he is thinking that 'Trump is greatest president to lead this great country' ! it like watching the apprentice ! you fired Trump 2021
Trump looks even more pathetic and more insane than ever!
If it gets too sad I really recommend to check out Brexit Season 2. It's really good this season and very popular in Europe...
I'm from Algeria and when i said to my father that trump wants to nuke the hurricane my mother, never gone to school before, said to me :" is he an idiot ? ! " ...oh my God i love this president, he is the dumbest. Hahaha
You missed the whole Greenland thing! That was comedy gold man!
And the I'm the Chosen One, King of Israel thing...
Withdrawal symptoms for two weeks that felt like two years. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN COLBERT!!!!
So very HAPPY to see Mr Colbert is back with a wonderful set of DAHT, DAHT, DAHT , DAHT. 💕💕💕💕
Anybody else disturbed by how eager Trump is to launch nuclear missiles into pretty anything he can think of?
He's just doing it for the ratings. He's been very careful with real military action so far outside of a failed raid, authorizing MOAB usage in Afghanistan, and a limited strike in Syria. Not sure on the drone war its all gone back into the shadows again.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Can we just shove one right up trumps ass and set it off? It certainly would solve that problem.
Yes, I was very disturbed by this! Any normal person would be.
@@oengusfearghas9608 I'll help u. When do we leave. The BEST idea I've heard!!!🌹❤️🇺🇸🦋🍊🧠
This nuclear solution from the guy who says wind turbines cause brain tumors.
I thought he said windmills? Unfortunately it is difficult to say whether he meant mills or turbines.
LMAO RIGHT
Damn! I was waiting for a "shark-a-nado" reference!
And raking the forest will prevent forest fires. 👍🏻
Chernobyl on jet skis! 😅 Welcome back Stephen we all missed ya....Nuke a hurricane? South Park needs to work on that episode..
Why did this two weeks feel like an ETERNITY! Welcome back late show, please bring us up to speed.
Nope. Gold fish have longer memories and are smarter. Way smarter.
Thank you! I rant at the screen every time someone talks about the short memories of goldfish.
Bigly smarter!
Now SC, u need to apologize to goldfish everywhere!
both colbert and kimmel used this joke I just noticed...
Compared to this one, they're all stable geniuses.
“You could have heard a gnat fart in that meeting.” 🤣🤣
My withdrawal of Stephen Colbert is over! Thank you!
Me too, I have had a tough 2 weeks
When was the last time any of you have "never heard of" something that you "knew existed"?
EXACTLY.
Yesterday I visited my grandma, who I never knew even existed, even though I visit her every week. I was quite surprised.
Baffling
That's exactly what everyone should be questioning here.. lol
He's the definition of, 'you can't fix stupid'.
Exactly my reaction. His statement in itself had no logical thought.
WTF is wrong with your President. God bless you all over there 🙏🏻 Br Denmark/Greenland 😉
I still am not 100% convinced he knows that he is supposed to be 'being President'.
Can I seek asylum over there?
We non-Americans are crowdfunding to buy Madagascar and fill it with penguins.
empbac then he will declare war against an NATO ally
Donald trump was elected because he was a part of the make a wish foundation, he has serious mental problems
As a Canadian, I think Goldfish is probably smarter or brainier than Donald Trump.
My left SHOE is smarter.
Two weeks without Colbert feels like a lifetime.
"we could nuke a Hurrican." - The President who declared wind cause cancer.
Well, technically the wind will cause cancer if you nuke it first.
@Philip K its called nuclear fallout. And it causea cancer.
@Philip K Is that you, Donald? ^^
GuyaneseSuperman To be fair, with Trump supporters around you can no longer just assume clearly stupid statements are sarcasm.
GuyaneseSuperman I didn’t either and I am sure it is sarcasm but it can be very hard to tell nowadays, particularly since it is difficult to get tone into a comment. We may need some kind of sarcasm notation similar to ! for surprise or excitement. It is a little depressing that we now find ourselves in need of such.
A little about our great country :
National bird - Bald Eagle
National mammal - Bison
National anthem- Star Spangled Banner
National motto - In God we trust
.
.
National embarrassment - Donald Trump
National weather phenomenon - Radioactive Hurricane?
Ah. A new category?
@Gonzo Kaporal Go figure....
"National motto - In God we trust"? I didn't know that the US is a theocracy...
So true. I can’t believe he suggests nuking a hurricane. What a moron
“Weather fan fiction” ... you made me spit-out my apple juice!! 🤣
Nuking a hurricane is precisely how you get wind that causes cancer. 🤦♂️
😂😂😂
Jeff S Trump University says different my friend.
No, you're thinking of hydroelectric dams.
Or just have Trump breathe on you.
@@couragekarnga8735 🤮
Ahhh it's nice to hear the "Daht Daht Daht's" Stephen!! Welcome back!
My friend and I have taken to putting that in our text to one another, but we do dot dot dot, but your's better. That's the way he says it.
You’re finally back!!! It’s felt like an eternity.
I have an idea. How about we drop trump inside the eye of the hurricane to see what happens!
We'd have _orange sunsets_ for *months!!*
Cool! I've never seen a hurricane puke!
"Radioactive Hurricane" sounds like a mixed drink. 😂
Edited to add: "So quiet you could hear a gnat fart" may be my new favorite phrase. 😂
🇬🇧 : Giggle.
You want Deathclaws? That's how you get death claws.
Or a band name.
"We're Radioactive Hurricane, and this is tonight's first song, Gnat Fart!"
Best saying ever😄
@@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human That'd be perfect for a punk band!
We have a Category 5 Presidential disaster continue to batter our psyches every day.
Amen to that.
Yes, sadly we do.
Battering your psyche? Isn't that a little dramatic? You just be voting for Williamson.
Memory of a goldfish to go along with the skin tone ...and the pout!! 😅😁
Trumpanzee speaks like a gold fish as he takes in water....🤫 he is so ignorant there is a possibility he’s unaware he’s doing it.
Poor goldfish
That’s very unfair to goldfish. Goldfish can actually remember what they know for years. We don’t know if Trump can, because he doesn’t know anything.
Somebody please explain Mr Chump that Alabama is not the Bahamas.
Never thought about that - he might have heard "Abaco" and thought he heard "Alabama".
Exactly! trump was not listening during the briefing (as usual since it wasn't about him) distantly heard "Bahama is in grave danger..." but since trump is geographically challenged and has never heard of the Bahamas, changed it to Alabama in his tiny little brain.
"What do we do with this?" You invoke the 25th amendment
Mike Pence shares Donald Trump's complete lack of morals, and far right views, but he's also a competant politician.
Donald Trump is evil, but one good thing about him is he's too incompetant to really achieve anything. Mike Pence could really do lasting damage if he got into the Oval Office.
@@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human Trump is also doing lasting damage in the office. America will take decades to recover, if it ever does.
Then we get Mike Pence. My cat just ran under the bed!
@Ryan Vigus I think you're underestimating the undermining of the government we're witnessing on a daily basis.
"You have the memory of gold fish along with the skin tone" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 welcome back Stephen!!
Oh, I've missed those jokes!
Who stole that joke from whom? Heard it on Kimmel too.
Unfortunately, "goldfish" might be his new nickname.
A week without Colbert or John Oliver clips is not a good week...welcome back!
That is is so true. The two have got to work it out that both are not away at the same time! We can't go through this alone with that nightmarish resident in the WH😔
It's been 3 weeks 😩
because there's no way to review previous entertaining and educational shows to keep abreast of current events. it all MUST be New for YOU. because history means nothing. in these off times, it's a good idea to get caught up on your Nation's History so you don't repeat mistakes settled back in the 19th and 20th and 18th centuries
@@RIXRADvidz We all keep up with the news even if it doesn't come from a comedy show. We've also taken years of history classes. Stop smoking crack
just me thank you
Oh, how I've missed the "daht daht daht..." Great to have you back Colbert.
"Weather fanfiction." Dorian and Hermione shippers unite ☺️
I knowwwww .... that was priceless🤣🤣🤣
New OTP
Trump having rhe memory of a goldfish is an insult to goldfish
@@allieelectra23 thank you
Yea I recall my last goldfish to be very social and intelligent. Also a darn sight prettier than trump.
Especially since goldfishes have 1 to 2 year memory span... Idk why anyone would have studied goldfish and memory, but they have lol
WELCOME BACK COLBIE! We missed you.
I'M embarrassed the U.S. President said on National Tv he has never "Heard of a Category 5 Hurricane "America Bow Your Heads In Silence "!!!! We are ashamed.
I'd be laughing, but I'm British. We've got a Category 5 sh*tstorm right now.
I missed Stephen Colbert so much. I'm so glad he's back. It was a long two weeks.
I’m embarrassed and ashamed that we have elected this dictator in my great country.
Beelzebub 666 Looser than what ? Tighten your brain - you should know how to spell “ loser”.?You ‘ve heardbit enough times in your life!
@@conniecrawford5231 : 🇬🇧 Ooooops Heard it !
So you should!
The world "You can't get a dumber president than Bush jnr! America "Hold my beer!"
I am SO glad you are back, Stephen Colbert! Everything in the news for the past two weeks just wasn't the same without you interpreting for me, lol. Welcome back.
It's nice that Mr. Stephen is back.
lots of love from India.
Summing up Trump's presidency:
Trump's not a real president, he just plays one on TV.
Where's the real one?
ARX 351 Moscow
He needs better writers...
Yeah, that's why you don't make TV personalities president.
@@arx3516 Fox "news". Duh! 😉
Stephen it felt like FOREVER. PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANOTHER BREAK UNTIL 45 IS OUT OF OFFICE. Glad you are back😁😁😁
Absolutely!
Ask BAMAGRL26 Stephen can read!
Soon. Very soon.
You have the memory of a goldfish and the skintone that goes with it. 😳😂😂🤣🤣
@Y B my name is German and I'm German also and what you read in English has a different meaning in Germany. You are a very narrow-minded person if you think that everybody's login name is automatically in English in our global way of communicating here on UA-cam.
Just for your information "Die = the, Pippa a synonym for my name, vom = from, BR = Betriebsrat = works Counsil.
You have a nice life and keep out of mine.
Donald Trump is the quintessential example of fake it till you break
Trump is a complete fraud and more and more Republican voters are finally realizing that!
William H. Baird yeah, but not fast enough and why now? He was horrible from the start. I’ve lost respect for quite a few friends and family by their insistence that he is so much better than “the libs”, or blaming any problem on “Obama”. Tbh, my life isn’t all that different between Bush, Obama or Trump
@@dougherbert7899 yeah I found out alot of people's true colours thanks to flump
@@dougherbert7899 Those people aren't your real family or friends. Sanction and brand them in shame for the rest of their shitty lives for causing this mess we are in.
Fake it til you break it?
Alabama was always too close to Obama for Trump's liking
Does Trump even know that Alabama is not on the east coast?
Trump's deciples who live in Alabama do not know where Alabama is.
@@charliebriones1300 😅😂🤣, oh wait, that's true.
In his defense, not a lot of people know that either
@@charliebriones1300 I spit my coffee all over my desk, too funny.
@@mr.personhumanson6871 You mean, other than every school kid? 😋
"The memory of a gold fish, along with the skin tone..."
Quotes like that are why we love you Steven!
Kimmel used the same exact joke
"CAN YOU READ ME NOW?" 😂😂😂
YEAH, BUT IF IT KEEPS RAINING YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SWITCH TO A BIGGER FONT😉
“Write weather fan-fiction..” hahah you know someone out there that’s into that
And then Andrew and Florence got their squalls in a twist......
Rule 34.
Actually there is someone out there who has written scary weather-based novels. I really enjoy them.
Failed weatherman Steve Doocy.
NEVER GO ON HOLIDAY AGAIN !!!
I misses my daily Colbert fix
Why don't they just call it Dorian Gray and then the GOP can blame it on Oscar Wilde and the "gays."
For God's sake, don't give the GOP ideas! They already helped get Trump elected!
It's ok. Their base wouldn't know who I am talking about, so they can't use it. But they have the Russians and a complicit party. That is scary enough.
"Radioactive Hurricane" starring Ryan Reynolds as a nuclear physics professor who attempts to neutralize a threat only trump could think of.
I'd see that movie.
Was a plot line in Sharknado 3. He got bumped from a role & he's STILL pissed about it. True story!
That should definitely be a movie!
Trump's confusion is contagious. At 4:43 the crowd at his rally was cheering a category 5 hurricane.
Well research has proven that 1 out 3 Ttump supporters are just as stupid as the other 2! 😆
Isn't nuking a hurricane how you get Godzilla?
"could of heard a gnat fart" LOL!! I'm so gonna use that instead of the old "could of heard a pin drop" line. Kudos Stephen :)
"It's like putting Chernobyl on jetskis" 😂😂😂👏👏👏
i believe he is not mentally healthy and that is dangerous he can golf while all this happens very sad
Be optimestic ! When he is playing golf he doesn't do or say stupid things.
@@Cyiel568 just when he is finished golfing is when the bullshit starts!!!
When you really think about it, him golfing is probably best-for everybody. 🤷🏻♂️
He should definitely play golf when Dorian touches down on Florida.
Honestly just let the old guy golf and tweet because then he’s not killing the world
Next time u r going on a break tell us so that we Brace for impact.
😂🤣😂🤣🤣....yes! We need a warning before all of them disappear
The worst thing about the two week vacation for Colbert is that Trump said so much shit in the meantime, and we will never get his commentary on it.
Trevor Noah posed some videos cut together from older stuff that really helped...
Can we all just appreciate the fact that Stephen put the "phone" in his jacket's pocket at 1:48?