Our Coming Out Stories
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- Опубліковано 4 сер 2017
- That awkward moment when you tell your mom that you have sex with women... We were both very privileged with our coming out experiences and are thankful to be surrounded by accepting people. Here we share our experiences with coming to terms with our sexual orientation and coming out to family and friends.
We are doing a Q&A video soon - what are some questions you have for us? We'd love to hear them in the comments!
Thanks for watching!
Love, A + L
Snapchat: alexisandlilian
Instagram:
Alexis / one99four
Lilian / liliangessner
Also at 16, a long time ago. I came out to my father, to whom I was closer and who was open-minded, writing on a small piece of paper a list of things parents would rather not concern their daughter, then slid that piece of paper under the bathroom where he was so I didn't have to physically face his reaction...
It read something like "Just pick one, only one is true : I'm pregnant, dating a married man, dating one of your friends, a lesbian, a drug addict, got in trouble with the police..." and a couple of other unpopular possibilities... The paper was slid back to me in a flash, with the option "lesbian". From the other side of the bathroom I heard a "I've known that for a long time. But it's cool, now we can talk about girls together!"
My mom didn't appreciate it that much but she said she knew since I was ten and I fell in love with Garbo on the tv screen "I knew when I saw you look at her", she just said.
True story.
Wow that’s a great story and definitely one of the most creative ways to come out I‘ve heard! Your dad sounds amazing 😊 - L
@@AlexisLilian They both were, in many ways, very open and woke for baby boomers. Thank you for your fantastic videos, for reaching out to younger sisters, and for your prompt and personalized answers, which always make my day. I have to say I'm in awe when I see you both sharing all that complicity but also honesty, always all wrapped up with a lot of grace. You're an inspirational couple doing a fantastic job here and I'd be very honored if our paths would cross one day.
can i use this way to come out too? would u like me to add ur credit :))))))))))))))))))))))))
Came out to my Mexican mom, she didn't take it too well. Ten minutes after that I called my aunt and told her too, because I didn't want my mom to "spread the news" herself. She congratulated me, wished me good luck and was genuinely happy to see me with someone after so many years being single. My aunt's reaction was everything I hoped for my mom's reaction to be. I'm just happy at least someone in my family reacted well to the news.
You girls are really lucky and beautiful, watching your relationship makes me feel safe somehow.
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I'm a muslim and in my country I will be killed if someone knew about me , and in the end I'll be forced to marry a guy , btw i have a girlfriend and we been together since 2011 .. i hope everything will be okay and keep her with me forever 💔
my prayers are with you both staying safe and i wish it was different for you. i hope that you are both happy and safe xx
i can understand i'm i the same situation good luck for us
Black Dragon . Everything will be Ok!
i really hope you could move to another country and be happy with her
I hope you two will find a way, good luck
“I thought every girl felt that way”
Literally me 😂 lol
Hey Alexis it's mom!!! I love you so much and I want us to be close!! U are my first born!! And I think about u all the time!!! I can't wait for u guys to visit me!!! Super Excited!!!😘😘😘
Caroline Brilliant you r a great mom
@@sharnjeetkaur8913 Caroline Brilliant your Daughter is amazing. she is a big inspiration her and Lillian you should be really proud of her😊 I'm sure you already know lol.she is great have a amazing day
In my country if I come out, I will be kicked out of the house and my family will no longer consider me part of them, or they will oblige me to be straight and put me in the church to pray the gay away. But this will never happen to me, I am planning to move to usa or any European country when I finish university and from now until this happen I will not come out to any family member.
Hi Rim, that's so sad, like I said, coming out also really depends on where in the world you are. Where are you from? I met many people in Toronto who were in a similar situation and did exactly that, left their country and are now living a happy life being out in an accepting country! Sad that it has to be that way, hopefully more countries will become accepting with time. Even for me, leaving Italy where I grew up made a big difference. Sending you lots of luck and love! - Lilian
Alexis & Lilian Hello, thanks for the support. I am from Beirut, Lebanon. It's an arabic, middle eastern country. One of the most open-minded countries of the arab world considering that in other countries gays are condemned to death. But still the lgbt community is struggling a lot because of the way society looks at us and treat us and for sure there is no laws that helps us. My country is 40% christian and 60% muslim which is making lots of tension between the two groups which is leading to religious rigourism that is the main reason why being openly gay in my country is so hard/impossible.
SAME!
Rim HM If you cannot go to USA or to an European Country you can try my country Mexico, actually you can come easier and live in the beach like in Puerto Vallarta which is very gay friendly, and mexico city where gay marriage is legal and everything
Rim HM Where do you live?
I love how real and candid you guys are .....I'm subbing.
You two are just so classy!! It's nice to have positive role models.
5 days ago I subscribed to you guys!!! 5 months ago I was in denial, 3 or 4 months later I finally accepted I'm bisexual. I just found out my girl crush is also bisexual, I hope I can end up with her. She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen. Only her and my 2 best friends know about my sexuality. But yesterday I told my other close friend (I'm not planning on telling anyone else though)!!! I truly relate to Lilian´s story. I'm also 19, and I'm waiting till I get a girlfriend to tell my parents. Also, I don't want my female friends or parents to act differently towards me. I look towards you as my role models, I will never forget you guys..... Truly..
Just found out about this channel couple hours ago and was binge watching the videos...and this new one came. This is a nice treat 👍 love your videos 💗
People like details.
"girls are so pretty, Aw I kinda wanna do things wit em "😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
when i was in high school 5 years ago I went to my older sister and I told her about a girl who I had crush on she didn't even let me finishing my words she told me to stop being ignoble and focus on my studies, few years later she came to me and told me about a woman she thought she in love with her! Anyway she supports me Completely in my relationships now ✨ thank you for sharing your stories with us ❤️
unique nada hi.thank you for sharing.Do you agree being a friend for me?
Am Alexandra from Nigeria and it's really hard coming. Told my mom on April 1 and she was so mad, had to tell her I was joking
I can only imagine, that must be so hard. Hopefully one day soon things will be different. Sending love! ❤️
You guys are my favorite UA-cam couple! Keep making amazing videos :)
I don't get why people have to come out, straight people don't have to come out so why should gay/bi/etc people have to. when ur in a relationship you should just be able to introduce ur bf/gf like straight people do. i honestly don't get why its any different 🤷♀️
Avery Armas ... Yeah, it shouldn't be such a big deal
Great :)))))
Facts I’m pansexual and feel the same why should I have to announce and broadcast my sexuality. Straight people don’t 🤷🏾♂️
Exactly!
Privilege
Here's a question... Alexis, how do you manage to have curls without frizz? What's your hair routine? Lol! Unless your hair is just naturally like that, in which case never-mind then
both of you are really brave and honest, both of you deserve be happy for who you are great video
Aww thanks! So sweet
As a Muslim I can't rlly come out for sure I can never come out , and if my family knew that I would be killed. .. , but I will do my best and study hard to move to another country and live my life as a free lesbian.💖
-anyone wanna give me advice plz ur free to comment :)
Best of luck ❤ hope everything works out for you
for me it's really hard to come out to people. I told my mom that I know she wishes me to marry a guy but I could marry a woman in the future and she said she doesn't care, so I'm kinda relieved at this point. 😊
Love has no gender love is love❤️❤️❤️
Amen!
Preach
Q&A: What do you both do or want to do for a living
You two are goddesses!!! Like literally
You guys actually make me feel safer about my situation thank you 🙂I hope on coming out one day when it’s smart to 😅
Love you guys!❤️ for Q&A: when is Lillian going to record a drum solo?! ;)
You guys are the cutest couple ever❤️
saw your pancake brunch yesterday, so Q&A do you guys cook? Who is the better cook?
Great and inspirational video! Thanks!! 🙏
Here's a question for the Q&A from Holland :). The two of you are sooooo cute by the way! You're inspiring me to be more zen and relaxed, cause I think you both seem that way, exactly the way I want to be. How do you do that, or were you always like that? Or do you do yoga, or other things that I could try? Thanks for the answer in advance! Lots of love, Liz
love the honest details :)
You guys are the best!
Just be yourself and be happy. You deserve it. Hello from California here.
Questions for your Q & A:
Do you plan on getting married?
Do you wanna have kids?
Are you bi, or lesbian?
What's do you like the most about each other? Physically and emotionally
The only question I would like to ask you both for your Q&A although it's probably already been asked is how old are you both?
Aww. Couple goals 😍❤
STOP KISSING ON CAMERA!!!
Not because it’s gross, but because it makes me jealous that I’m forever alone and will never get a girlfriend 😭
Edit: lol nevermind my crush liked me back!
Both so lucky your experiences were positive!
Thank you for sharing your stories on UA-cam. You are appreciated. ❤️🌈🥰 lots of love from Burlington, Vermont USA
Loved this! So funny and sweet and that was actually pretty good advice
What do you guys do as jobs? What are your favorite tv shows and or youtube channels? What makes you happy?
bless you! coming out was never a prob for me too. looking back i never really told anyone im gay, as early as 6yo everyone around me already noticed i was not a "regular" girlie kid. there were times my olds bribed me to conform to what girls should be but to no avail😉.eventually they just let me be who i am......👍
Two lovely and wise women. I love your vlogs.
I am a single mom raising my two boys, they are teenagers. Both me and their father are artists and so we are really open minded. But I believe it is easier for a parent to accept that their daughter is by or lesbian than their son. I don't know what my kids will choose in their life but thank you girls for your videos. They are enlightening!
Wow.. So let me tell you MY coming out story. It was very simple.
My mom has always known. After i came out she told me she already kinda knew. I was maybe 11 or 12 (or a little bit older). I brought my brother to my room and told him i think i like girls. Of course he didn't know how to react but he really didn't care. Later that day i told my mom and she said it was fine and said because i was so young that maybe in the future it could change. (it didn't.) Then i told my sister and then dad. I was gonna ask if he thought it was bad but before i asked him he automatically told me he doesn't care if i bring one home. My mom has had a lot of LGBT friends and still does.
I think you are pretty lucky, it's cool. In my case I didn't even knew what homosexuality was when I was 11, so I didn't understand my feelings. I find out when I was lesbian at 12, and I wish I had tell them already, because I'm 17 now and I'm kinda stuck when my mom asks me about boys..
Awesome that it seems you have a supportive family! We've been lucky in that way, too.
I'm glad to hear that. You are pretty luck.
Bruh I came out with a battle rap. We were playing JackBox 🤣
For someone who's 13 yrs old...this vid was a great help! Love from india❤️
I told my best friend I was bi. Unfortunately we aren’t best friends any more. It’s bitter sweet.
How many tattoos does Alexis have?
Do Alexis tattoos have any meaning?
Does Lilian have tattoos?
Would you get matching tattoos?
I'm very curious about the tattoo situation haha I really liked the few I've been able to see in past videos. Hope you don't mind :)
Love you both!
Hey Alexian or Lilixis, I just recently found this channel and subscribed because I like your videos. I am from South East Asia. I did my coming out to my (late) Mom some years ago, it was not on purpose and only because I was devastated being cheated by my girlfriend. My Mom said she had been knowing it and understood why I choose woman than man. She was down a bit but she was not mad at me. She asked me to back straight again since LGBT is not so much acceptable in my country and religion. Even though I wanted to obey my parents but I'm still struggling to cope that I'm more into woman than man.
I felt more connected, understanding and close to girls. I like the cleaness and good smell of girls too.
Thanks for your advice
QA Do you think about getting married?
my guess: alexis- yes! Lilian- eh less than fond. how was my guess?
Ãlexis I love ur natural wavy hair ❤❤❤
Hi girls, this video has made me more confident for tomorrow. I plan on telling my parents. Well I'm not sure how they are going to react. Well I'm of Indian origin, so you know there's still a 'stigma' regarding being gay etc. But I've told my siblings and they are cool with it. Thanks again for your videos, you both are the perfect for each other. Love, light and blessings to you both
I know this is late, but did it end up all right? Were your parents accepting?
It's a really lovely and inspiration video, u two r very sweet.
I do have a question for your Q and A tho,
My girlfriend and I are both working at the different country, and it's like 12 hours apart. Somehow we found it's hard to see each other in person while we are both back at work. We are even thinking about switching jobs at this moment, however it's just not that easy to do it.
So how about you guys schedule it out, or take vacation together? I know Lilian is a graduated student, how about Alexis? I know it's kind of personal to ask about your occupation, so if it's not ok, please ignore this question.
And my best wishes to you all! Love.
Where did you meet? love you guys.
Even people who love you, may reject you. And that really hurts! (Often they reconsider their reactions)
PS: Alexis tattoo on her left arm reminds me a movie with Jean Gabin „Le tatoué“, he had a tattoo from Modigliani on his back. (OK, a very old french movie!)
Old French cinema was great....loved it :)))
Ooo wow aftr long time good seeing you
Love this video, and felt a lot of resonance when Lilian was saying it felt right to only come out when she had an actual girlfriend to tell folks about. I am in the same boat and am hoping that someday i will be in a relationship with a woman that feels right to the point where i can own it in an empowered way in front of my family. Thanks so much for shaing that Lilian! One question also, in my one and only relationship with a woman so far, i started wondering are female same sex relationships always and inevitably a magnet for women with Mommy issues? Do you know many lesbians who have healthy relationships with their mothers? I know everyone has a certain amount of conflict and baggage there but just wondering is it more prevalent among gay women?? I know it sounds so cynical but im wondering like are same sex relationships partly there to "fix" these issues in relation to our mothers. Im not trying to overgeneralise but im just wondering if this is an actual trend or just me jumping to conclusions. Could be a topic for a video, or not 🤷♀️ Thanksssss
I know and like this video👏🏻👏🏻
beautiful sweet couple :) Hi from Toronto, Ontario
A question how can you maintain a long distance relationship because I'm having a hard time because my girlfriend studies abroad it's heartbreaking ;(
I could really feel it when you said it was annoying to tell female friends because they would assume that you like them. Most of my friends are female and I really hate it when they act differently in front of me when they find out that I'm not completely straight.
Q&A:
- Do you think it is okay to be in a relationship without coming, would it affect your relationship if you don't?
- What are some things that you learned to do differently from your past relationships?
- What makes your current girlfriend different from the people that you have dated in the past?
- Do you have any lgbtq stereotypes that you fit into?
- What do you dislike about labels?
- How do you personally tell if someone is not straight?
- How did you know or learn what to do for your "first time" with a same-sex partner?
For the Q&A - how does the atmosphere towards LGBT people/you guys being in a gay relationship differ in Europe? And also, when asked, what do you guys prefer to identify as? I love your channel! 😊😊😊
in europe?
europe is half a continent. From
*extremely* homophobic to the most progressive (malta).
Awww....Alexis is Goal..hahhaha...so easy and fun
OH my god, buffy. i'm called out also. 😂i had SUCH a crush/obsession but totally didn't recognize it for what it was. instead it translated to obsession with the show, with her, and then BOOTS. it was that thing of being into it so it morphs into wanting to 'steal the look'? yeah. i get that a ton. (not really sure why. but if something looks really neat or super hot, brain is like DO IT TOO. not that it always makes sense to.)
by the time L word came out i already knew. BUT. i was unprepared. for the *massive* and i mean MASSIVE season1 shane OBSESSION. holy crap, man. and i don't usually have crushes on tv people or celebs.
*ETA* someone used a clip of s1 shane in a vid, it was so brief, but the obsession flare was instant. i think she was like the hottest person i'd ever seen before or since. (don't know why they totally fkkd her hair in s2.... really killed her game a bit)
Do you have any tips on lesbian relationship/dating advice?
(I have a girlfriend but I’m still figuring out who I am/who I want to be)
(tips of how your relationship worked or how to have a good relationship even if you haven’t came out to your parents or most of your friends)
Lilian u r very sobar and gorgeous whereas Alexis is too cute .fabulous couple.. stay blessed
I told my mom I'm interested in girls but she seem to interpretate it as me being bisexual.. And I kind of want to tell her again, that I'm ONLY into girls but I don't know.. What should I do? She's really accepting (considers herself as bisexual) so it wouldn't be a problem..
Q& A- How do you guys determine your fashion sense/ style? & also in the European lifestyle... are members from the LGBT view as a more common spectrum? & lastly what are your professions or careers?
I m lesbian .but I m scared..to tell that...I luv u guys...it's very inspirational..ty
I came out last year to family and selected friends after a 13 year secret relationship ended. My devastation made no sense to my family and friends so I had to explain why I was so upset. I think that helped people take it better. My parents are very religious so don't agree with it but were OK with it as long as I keep the fact discreet, which I will anyway as it would affect my work. Pretty silly but how it has to be. Luckily I am a fairly private person. I think I knew I liked girls for 20 years but denied it for ages. Looking back though I remember many instances which were signs. The biggest confirmations for me coming to terms with it fully myself was as you said, the realisation that seeing a guy and girl getting sexual makes me feel uncomfortable whereas two women doing so makes me feel excited. Also I had a well known male musician invite me to spend the night with him...a muso I had loved for my whole life since my teens. We had been working together and were close friends, but that offer totally freaked me out and was the last thing I wanted. Totally knew at that point, definitely a lesbian. Thank you for your videos. Very helpful and you both are so gentle and sweet.
You will be fine soon...
Want to talk with you if yes then reply me
No matter who you are or who your into the only "label" you should be putting on yourself is that your a human being.
I legitimately came out through a battle rap. I was playing JackBox with my little brother (who already knew because he rEAD MY DIARY), my mum, my dad and my uncle.
At the end of the rap you have to vote for who won.
Nobody voted for me 🤣
Now that musta been pretty awkward...coming out in rap...crazy hilarious😂😂😂
I did the exact same thing as Lilian. I wanted to wait till I had a person to talk about. I’m genderqueer so I didn’t know how to avoid lesbian or gay otherwise
Maybe you two could do the Ashley Wylde gendertag? 🏳️🌈
I love you lilian❤❤❤
You must start writing and publishing a book on girls. People misunderstand the relationships of girls and girls. thee is no harm it seems that it is a genuine love and care. Except the bearing child is little bit of complicated but still ok..God's Blessings and be never break your relationship. I am from FRANCE
For the Q&A - where do you see yourself in 5 years ?
Q&A Alexis what is the best part of living with Lilian? And Lilian, What is your favorite thing about Alexis?
When I try to throw something at my family about liking girls, even the most insignificant thing they look at me with anger and disappointment or when I mention anything about LGBTQ community they just get mad. Once I asked my mom what would she do if I liked girls and she said that she'd kick me out of the house and never speak to me again and it makes me so fucking sad, because I feel there's something wrong with me and maybe I don't deserve to be loved by her.
Val hey, nothing’s wrong with you, you were born that way. What’s wrong is peoples ignorance. My mom rejected me at first when I came out (28 years ago approx) but she soon came back to me and accepted my girlfriend. Take your time, and enjoy who you are.
+Val. If your mom doesn't accept you for who you are you deserve a better mother. I hope everything works out well for you, rooting for you ❤️
Yeah, it depends on where u live, I am from Bulgaria, we are considered mentally ill. My mother would not accept this, although I brought every girlfriend at home when I used to live there 😁. I am 39 now and she still asks me if I like a man..😪. She pretends that this is not real, A lot of denial, but I am over her attidude after 20 years of mental torture. But it is soo nice there are normal parents out there, i am glad for u both. 😙😙
This is a q for your q&a, when was the first time you guys told you family or friends about your relationship???
I’m bisexual and I have been for awhile but just recently I did stuff with a girl and I did like it. My cousin teases me and asks me if I’m gay. I tell her no, because my family is very Christian and I’m not sure how they would react the only three people that know are my uncle, my mom, and my dad. But I don’t think I could tell the rest of my family.
For your Q&gay, I mean A.A... 1. what is your first argument was about?
2. Do you script your videos, or to what extent do you script your video?
I told my friend one week ago that I like girls but not boys but she didn't say anything but kept smiling
Hi Alexis and Lilian this happened to me when I was in school high school mainly or maybe earlier than that, but I never had a girlfriend because I was much more of a flirt though I thought it was a normal thing. nobody never told me anything but as for my mother she kind of sensed she kind of knew that I had an attraction towards women. But there was a sweet thing that she's always and something that she said that made me feel so special if any of my children turn out to be gay I will love them no matter what. And to let you know my mother and I we were very very close we always told each other everything.
But now that my Mom isn't with me anymore I let people know I'm the Lesbian and I'm not afraid or scared in letting them know. Kiss kiss 💋💜💙💛
Woooooow, veeeery, veeeeeery good :)))
It is most important to not let a fear be a thing in life.
It blocks abundance in a high degree...the same as feeling guilty.
You are a God In Action as everyone else
and do what makes you happy and free :)))
I have a Question why you guys are so beautiful
for Q&A:The music in your videos are so nice! so what kinds of music do you two like?
what your plan for future?will you plan to get married?
what kind of jobs will you do in future?
who is more dominant emmmmm....in sex...
last one...how does it feels like to have a girlfriend younger/older than you？
love you two : )
I love your strories👭🌈😘
I came out when I was 11 the other day my brothers friend was like you like a boy right? and I was like, I liked that boy 3 years ago, I like girls
💜💜💜
I came out of the closet last year. My parents were shocked and disappointed.
'I kinda wanna like do things with them' :D
For the Q&A: Do you want kids?
You Ladies Make The Sweetest Couple. Q&A~ Are You Guys Moving In Together Soon? And What You Do For A Living...And Can You Transfer With Your Employment? Or Find A New One?
( Hope I Worded That Right...lol).
❤️
#Q&A - What are the pros and cons of being in a same-sex couple ?
God bless u lovelies !!!!
Have you ever lost any friends over being gay/ bad reactions ?
Are you permanently moved in together???
As of now we are spending the summer together in different places, come September we will be living together in Canada until December:)
Do people often think you're straight and do men hit on you if so how do you get over that