Gentle suggestion - could you label the videos with part 1 and part 2? I often find it hard to figure out which is which (or even that a video has another part) until I'm halfway through
Watching this was triggering for me. I was in a relationship with a partner who consistently struggled with his business. Year after year after year, they would try to sell some other product but I provided the bulk of our income. And the smaller bills that they promised they could manage or address were often overdue. THAT led to stress and anxiety because they wouldn't let me know what was happening. I would just accidentally discover that our water was almost about to be cut off or our phones were about to be cut off leaving me to swoop in and pay 10 times more than the original bill to keep these things from shutting off and I was making nowhere near what Nicole is making. What I discovered was that because I was always there, they didn't feel the need to find something that provided more consistent income. I feel Nicole's pain because she had a dream of what her life was going to be, but unfortunately, she can't have that with Jordan right now. The fact that they are not married yet brought property together is very telling. Nicole is right to have doubts and I bet Jordan does too. Money is a really painful sore spot in this relationship. Just because you love this person, doesn't mean you can't be scared of what your future will look like. After four years together, both Jordan and Nicole have all the information they need on what that future will look like, but they'll have to create a different future than what Nicole has in her head if she wants to be with Jordan. The options are simple really, Jordan either drastically increases his income OR Nicole accepts the income he has and accepts that she will be the primary breadwinner. Once she accepts that, then they can work on getting on the same page about how to make their money work for them. I was actually okay with my ex not making consistent income and me being the main provider but I never felt like my partner appreciated my efforts, plus I would come home, help my partner with their business and still had to handle a majority of the household responsibility, which made me angry and resentful because I felt overworked and unsupported.
That’s what happens usually with women, it’s been studied that when they are the breadwinner they taken on even more household labor. It’s like they are being punished for that and the housework is to compensate
I don’t think that the relationship won’t work just because of money conflict. I see it a lot-God has a way of bringing together two people on opposite extremes, to balance each other out. Hopefully they can each own their part and accept what is or take responsibility for their actions and work it out, if they truly love each other.
@@lbslott money pays their bills not love. She can love him and still accept the fact that he doesn’t have the interest in matching her financially. They are not an equal team and is clear he is not ok with her being so far up financially even though he is benefiting from her income. He refused to celebrate paying off the debt because he knew that was her accomplishment not his. His inability to be successful in his career will in fact make a jive impact in their relationship because he will feel resentment over her successes.
@@SaintsandSushi she also stated at the end that she's not comfortable being the sole breadwinner. Which in the long run will make her resent him, if their situation stay as is. The clock is ticking 😢
My wife and I have watched your entire Netflix series. It was fantastic. We have made the decision to move on from our financial advisor, who collected 1% annually after hearing the advice you gave on the show. Checked our statements, and after 15 years we calculated that we made 5.5% increase while our advisor collected 15% percent over that same time period. Wish you had done your Netflix series 15 years ago!
Props to Jordan for holding together like he did. Watching this podcast highlighted something more than just the money psychology for me. It was also the expectation that men control their feelings, that we can't show weakness. Jordan heard some really harsh words from Nicole and you can see that it really hurt him. And yet, he either didn't want to break or maybe felt like he wasn't allowed to break. If roles were reversed I feel that might have gone differently. Compliments to both Jordan and Nicole for their willingness to both be so vulnerable on the show. I'm really interested how Ramit helps them in part 2.
I mean the girl came out like she was wanting to be on Springer or Wilkos the she wanted to delete her words. She said them to a complete stranger. That's rough man. Not a lot of guys can handle that type of grilling then act so calm.
Exactly, I’m only 21 and has male. You can feel the same thing. He cares, it’s such a big gap between his income and hers. You can understand the frustration because to get even close to that takes a while. He’s got to be patient .
This is the thing if roles are reversed and Jordan or any other man was making 33k a month and his wife was making 3500 than there wouldn’t be any discussion. Man would simply take care of his family
I commend them both for being as vulnerable as they both were and in aw of Jorden for being able to keep it together as much as he did hearing those tough words that were spoken.
Kudos to both of them. As a woman I am concerned about Nicole hitting burnout if she becomes a mom AND has to maintain the bulk of the income. You can’t keep cutting and cutting the budget, especially with inflation and other household expenses which will naturally increase. I’ve done this before when ex became a small business owner. I maintained a full time job and took ALL the responsibility for the kids, basically became a married single mom. It’s very real and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him. It’s just facing reality of what they both want out of life and if it’s compatible. Good luck to them!
Kudos to both of them on their success! Jordan, $5000/mo gross on your own business as a PT is awesome. I’m nowhere near that in my photography business yet. It takes time to scale especially as a solopreneur.
That's a really great reply. I really hope your photography business takes off! I also have my own business (going on 8+ years now) and I just passed the $100k/year mark. The sad part of where I'm at emotionally is very similar to Jordan. I feel stressed by money and I don't feel like I'll be able to provide consistently for my future, let alone including a partner. But on another level, I've been able to achieve a lot, paid off lots of debt (particularly medical debt), and worked very hard to get to where I'm at. I can imagine Jordan's personality is that he wants to provide more and earn more, but he's trying as hard as he can, which leads to stress and feelings of not being adequate for the relationship. I hope they can be a real partnership. She's going to have to accept that she will make less money when she goes part-time and that they as a couple might not have as much money if she does that. My parents both went part time when I was born and figured out a way to make it work. Maybe she can't emotionally accept that, and if that's the case, maybe she needs to move on knowing that she emotionally wanted a partner who made more money and provided a level of support that Jordan is not able to provide at this moment. But hopefully they'll get more honest with each other and be able to accept what each other brings to the table and how that makes them both stronger together.
That final hug brought tears to my eyes ❤ they are so strong for being on this podcast and talking about things that most of us suffer in private and are incapable of saying out loud.
@@fauxbro1983 The number one cause of divorce, is finances. It is emotional to many people and they walk away from relationships because of this topic. It can lead to feelings of resentment and lack of control if people feel taken advantage of in the relationship.
@@fauxbro1983 Agree 100% ..... and I'm a woman. I think her love for him is going to make her too soft about this issue. She's obviously a very bright woman who is apologizing for being honest and real and it is sad to see. She knows in her gut what to do but won't do it.
What I appreciate from this show is how it highlights the importance of communicating to your partner about money EARLY and OFTEN in the relationship. My wife and I have had our disagreements in the past and there's still things we dont see perfectly eye to eye on, but because we worked on de-stigmatizing money talks we have been able to come together and grow as a couple. It is a tragedy to see an otherwise good relationship decay because of the lack or poor quality of communication. Props to them for making it onto the show because it's definitely a step forward, but the problem had already festered into her having those ugly thoughts about her man whom she loves. Meet your partner where they are and work on your common goals together!
What I love about this is that you focus on the MEANING behind or with money! That is critical and a part of the money conversation that rarely gets air time.
She spoke from her heart. She needs to love herself and not make excuses for him. She needs to trust her gut. She knows the answer already but she doesn’t want to leave. 😢
Quit being a clown. Why are so many people chomping at the bit to divorce internet strangers on their behalf? She isn't leaving him. He racked up $31k in debt supporting her for 2 or 4 or 8 years? If she can't provide $31k a year at part time when she makes $30k a month full time, then his ability to provide isn't the problem; it is a joint or her spending problem, cause he had it on minimal bleed supporting 2 on his own.
@@stephenzygiel5266 How about being mature enough to stop the name-calling just because your point of view is different? Neither one of you may have a solution that works.
@@ajbee4706 They are being a clown. How about being mature enough to know when someone is commenting on a point of view instead of attacking the person? I prescribed no solution. That is a very personal point they will have to figure out based on their own wants and goals. It would be foolish of me as an internet stranger to expect to be any realistic level of counsel on how someone needs to manage their marriage. The woman is making 1/3 of a million a year. I have a hard time imagining she would be foolish enough to take said advice.
I'm honestly still processing this episode. I have a ton of admiration for Nicole and Jordan courageously sharing their story as well as for Ramit courageously asking the tough but important questions that help unearth the deeper issues that would otherwise keep lingering. I got way more value than just financial out of this conversation - especially that last hug moment got me pondering about decisions I have (and haven't) been making in my own life as well. Thank you sincerely to all three for such a real and powerful conversation. 🙏
@@MissKashira I didn’t say his income was childish, I said he was a man child And I still stand by that statement because reneging on an adult responsibility like managing your joint finances with your life partner THAT IS ASKING TO NOT BE THE ONLY PERSON SADDLED WITH THE STRESS OF MANAGING THEIR SHARED FINANCES is childish behavior, not the maturity level one would hope to expect out of someone adult enough to take marriage vows Does that make sense to you now or do I need to repeat myself a 3rd time?
@@Wee_Catalyst But they aren't "joint" finances. They are living in the house she wants to live in. Paying off debt the way she wants to handle it. They aren't equal partners. She's not acting like they are equal partners. And given she makes ten times what he does, he doesn't have the authority necessary to pretend like they are equal partners. How is he gonna object to any purchase when it's all her money anyway? The man is not even living in the state he wants to live in. There isn't a behavior he's doing that's upsetting her. She feels like he's beneath her and there is nothing he can do about that.
@@MissKashira I feel sorry for you that you find that behavior acceptable and let people treat you poorly but that doesn’t change the fact that some of us have standards 🤷♀️
Blown away by this episode, Ramit. Seriously had me tearing up. Kudos to Jordan and Nicole for their vulnerability. It’s pretty amazing to see how you open people up… it’s almost always about more than just the money. Looking forward to seeing how the conversation ends up next week. I wish them both nothing but the best.
Watched several episodes. You have an interesting approach. I rented until I was 52! I grew up in a house where saving was important but we spent on the things we loved (my parents saved so they could go to Europe every 4-5 years to visit family and relax) Now my husband and I own a condo in Vancouver, Canada. No debt. My husband is retired and spends time golfing and with his kids and me. I only work part-time since I like it. Like your guilt free spending but so many live with debt as if it’s normal these days.
Shoutout to Jorden and Nicole for coming on the show to talk about this. I don't have their courage, but I and many others have been in their position, and I hope they know they're not alone (and that their story helps us realize we're not alone either).
I applaud them for having the courage to sit down with you. This conversation is another reminder of the power that our psychology has over every aspect of our lives, including our finances. Looking forward to seeing how Ramit is able to help them in part 2
She could support his business through out capital. I say help him grow that same way he helped her. I feel so bad for the guy, you can see his pain. If he was a provider before, he can be a provider again.
She wants a partner that doesn't make 1/10 of what she makes. That's like if she made $5k a month and he made $500 a month. She doesn't want to be the bread winner or at least that high of a bread winner because it means she can't take time off for the kids. The only thing they can do is live within their means of her only working 3 days a week when the kids are small. Unless she's really saying she doesn't value a person that only takes home $40k a year, as in she didn't imagine being with a partner that didn't make a lot more. He made it look like he was contributing and holding them afloat when really it was his credit cards that were. He needs a normal job or work for a gym, rather than have a business. Or maybe even, she can buy a gym, but honestly ask every gym owner, there no money in it.
Wrong - finances are one of the main reasons for couples divorcing. When you're a grown up you have to be able to manage your life properly. He can't be a drain on her finances for her whole life.
Most women expect their male partner to make as much if not more than them even if they are high earners. Jordan was great until she started making all this money. He wanted to make financial decisions based off his income, but she wants to make them based off her income. If you want to stay at home with your future kids, run the numbers off working those two days a week. My wife has made more than twice as much as me our whole 16 year marriage. If she lost her job today we could live off my income. That takes the stress away!
She knew what he did for a living when they got together, and now she wants him to be on her income level, even though she went into extreme debt to get to her income level. They have basic lifestyle differences and he would be better off with someone who sees the value in what he does rather than trying to become a high earner just to meet her expectations.
Watched the entire series and one of my favorite things was watching your interaction with the people you are helping, not one time did you shame them or talk down to them like other shows and podcasts I've seen or listened to.
Thank u Nicole & Jorden for sharing your story! I've been a stay at home mom for many years. I managed everything at home so my husband could focus on work 100%. We always made financial decisions together. 'Respect' is what is most important in any relationship. You have to be confident in yourself as an individual or it will affect your relationship. Don't let 'fear' ruin a great relationship together. I just subscribed to your channel.
She has such a high income - can she not save a fund so she doesn't have to worry about taking leave to be with her kids? Or if she starts a orthodontics practice of her own in the future she can set her own hours.
People get In the mindset that work becomes life often. Everything you do when you own your own business is for the business. And it can be insanely stressful to trust anyone else to handle things. She should probably think about what outcomes she wants. Love is simple to find. Love the exact way we want it Is nearly impossible.
I thought the same thing. Not sure what the student loan situation is, but I gather they could easily set aside enough money to cover going part time for a few years. Plus, did she choose the right career path to enable what she thinks she wants?
I’m 65 and wished I had this advice! As a single Mom, all I did was try to survive and give my kids the best life! Money is an emotional topic that needs to be addressed. My favorite is the money psychology 🎉
OMG!!!! Watching your show, really good but ........just because people don't like the word "Budget" does not mean you need to lie about it. A proper budget always looks forward and is a plan into the future. As a retired Accountant, I have created or helped create so many budgets for different funding sources both for business and personal. Not one of them was looking backwards. You can call it a conscious spending plan (great marketing) or a budget, it is one and the same.
The problem was stated in that letter, but she doesn't even want him to hear what she said. She used the power she has from her income to move them to where she wanted to live, but now she's worried he won't be able to pay the bills once she's pregnant. Well, yeah. You make ten times what he makes and it's not even reasonable to expect him to make 30k a month. I don't blame him for being on the verge of tears, he's being degraded for something that's not his fault.
Seems like you’re one of the only commenters that caught this too. I was scrolling and thinking “did everyone that’s trying to shame Jordan even watch the same episode?” It’s like everyone else completely glossed over him doing his best to provide while also trying to grow his business.
Has to be rough for Jordan to have a masculine career but not have the masculine role of breadwinner. Her income is an anomaly. It’s unattainable for the average person.
Wow. This really got intense in the last bit and we actually started hearing the truth of what was going on. Interested to see what part 2 holds. And Jordan I really wouldn’t have been able to hold it together the way you did.
Maybe it's the European in me talking and you Americans can say I lack ambition. But I'd just be happy with that kind of income and call it a day. Why strive for even more and have a stressful life? All his stress stems from comparing himself to her. To me that's unnecessary.
it's highly unrealistic even for most American even if you have a bunch of degrees. I can't comprehend how she expect him to make that much and come up with how in such a short period of time. Like I would be happy making his salary o_O our minimum salary here is around 7$/hour .
Unfortunately in some areas of the USA $400,000 before taxes is not a lot at all. They are in California so subject to the higher taxes. Also cost of living is astronomical. That being said, I age with you that there needs to be balance. They are in a better spot than most people
I'm from USA and my wife is from Germany, and this was something we discussed for years. The big differences is cultural. For her, zero debt was the goal because her family is covered by government pension (father was teacher). For me, I see all additional income as retirement related. I want to keep making more so retirement is more comfortable.
Dear Ramit, I loved your show, it gave me insight especially how couples communicate about finances. It's given me the courage to be completely transparent. Thank you!
Hi Ramit! Just watched all 8 episodes and now found your podcast! I love it! I'm in Switzerland and we don't have the same credit card system, no credit score and retirement works differently. But a lot of your advice is still applicable! You got a new subscriber! Cheers! M
Bought your book I think over a year ago... the universe brought it back to me last night when I saw your show recommended to me on Netflix. I said OMG I have his book! My boyfriend literally didn't believe me until I pulled it off the shelf lol. That book was gold back when I read it and you are more than worthy of this show. Binging it currently and rereading the book because I need to be more aggressive with paying off my student loans and credit cards. Thank you!!
brave of them both to be on here, so kudos. However, this guy needs to spend less money on biz coaching and more on some therapy that teaches him how to communicate with his partner. early on red flags flew because he had NEVER thanked her for helping with his cc debt and she said something like, 'he doesn't like to apologize, i just know he's sorry because of his body language.' women ask for so very little and then receive even less. the bar is through the floor. later on she mentions he turned on ramit's podcast when they were having an argument about money and she 'knew' what he was getting at. that is SO FRUSTRATING. why on earth does he expect her to read his mind? Why can't this bro just say what he wants to talk about?! then, it turns out he was using the credit cards to keep them afloat while she was in school. that is lying and endangering their future with his terrible credit. if she had known that, she said outright that she wouldn't have agreed to it. basically he lulled her into a false sense of security. not being able to apologize is the main red flag, though. she deserves better. My take on him has absolutely nothing to do with how much he earns - they have way more than enough to live comfortably on even if she goes down to 2 days/week. she is right to be worried about having the entire burden of finances on her shoulders, because he cannot talk about money, let alone handle it!
I was the one, who discovered you by watching the Netflix show. Yesterday I watched all the episodes long, and then I subscribed your channel. Thank you for your work.
I love watching your podcasts on UA-cam, but I have to say on this episode there were way too many Ad sponsor information. Kudos to all your clients that come on your show.
This episode frustrated me. She based a house payment on an income she doesn’t want to maintain long term. Instead of qualifying for a home on a $400k income, she should have figured it on part time income her future self wants. He’s now re-establishing his business in his 3rd relocation with her. It takes time to get his income up again.
A lot of men feel emasculated by a wife that makes a LOT more than they do (or sometimes, even a little). Jorden doesn;t want to say it, but he clearly feels inadequate. He needs to come to terms with that. Nicole is KILLIN'iN it income-wise and shouldn't feel bad because of that.
It think a lot of his inadequate feelings come from her. Despite the fact that he makes a solid income at 75k her letter in sounds like she looks down on him. They make MORE than enough to save and retire in a few years. She could cut her income in half and they would be fine. It's because she has an arbitrary expectation on him as a man.
I just started your series. The first minutes definitely feel like it'll be more emotional than your podcast, more like a reality TV show. This is entertaining but I hope the techniques on how to talk about money don't come too short because of that. I hope it's ok to post that here as well
Really good episode. I understand both sides in this one but I think her expectations are a little unrealistic. She’s an orthodontist-a very skilled career that takes multiple years of training. It’s not realistic to expect him to make even more than that or even the same. Looking forward to the next episode and the Netflix show!
I was like how the hell she makes that much out of college!? Immediatly after watching I searched for career that pay 400K a year. You have to be a doctor or some senior CEO or maybe very high level specific things in tech. Even small business owner average 68k/year from what I find on google. He is technically making more or similar to what most make. Imagine the stress of feeling like you have to come up with a business that bring 400k all of a suddent and you have a year deadline. You have to be extraordinary to achieve that and happened to be passionate about something super profitable. Most people sadly we are just average and we can't keep up. =/
@@magalimasson9472 I agree. If a marriage is going to work, they need to make it "our" money - and with her perspective, they may need to either do that now or move on.
@@magalimasson9472 1) She is not really "out of college" like she's 22 or something. She earned $0 before the age of 30. An orthodontist is one of the highest-paying non-business owner jobs one can achieve. Very similar path to MD's. 2) Jordan does not take home 70k a year, that was his total revenue. After expenses, he is making 35-40k a year in one of the most expensive states in America. Baristas in California make more money than that. 3) I never heard her state that Jordan needs to earn the same level of income and I highly doubt she expects that. I think she worries that she will be the ONLY way the family will earn income. I feel the same way in my relationship. I make 150-175k a year and would never expect that from my partner, but at the same time, I never was interested in someone who was reliant upon me to eat. It's too much pressure. As she said, she is looking for a financial teammate.
She need to find a man on her financial level that’s tug of war is not going to get better she’s a doctor she needs to find another doctor or high income earner .. she will have to work thru her pregnancy because he doesn’t make enough
Maaaan this was triggering 😢 I can’t speak from a female perspective but as a man I can totally appreciate the pressure to bring in the finances to raise and support a family. I personally can’t escape the gender role thing. Maybe it’s how I was raised but I would really struggle if I didn’t at least match my partners income. Amazingly honest and refreshing podcast
Well then work on the mistakes you were raised with . . . You identified a life problem for you and then immediately dismiss it like achieving the first step of self-awareness is enough . . . No wonder you identify with the pathetic man child in this video 🙄
I watched the first 3 minutes on netflix before watching this video. You did great, the energy is amazing. People that do not know you will warmtch it because it promisses to be entertaining. They do not know how much they will learn.
I am definitely in the wrong industry. I wish I had known how much you could make as an orthodontist before I went to college... maybe I would have chosen that industry instead. My career really maxes out at 150k
This was very uncomfortable to watch...and a little of a low blow for him. I am female and i have noticed women dont feel ashamed or bothered when the man is the provider, i feel they may even think they deserve it, though to be fair i know some good woman who takes care of house and kids do deserve the financial help. But i cant help toi feel SHE IS THE SOLE reason why he is so stressed, if you are NOW in a better financial position, and if you are discussing kids and living together...help him, help him with his debt but dont harrass him,compare him or belittle him. It seems the root of it all is that SHE is the one that has the problem about his income and its causing him to feel impotent. Its so uncomfortable
Men and women are different. I know a lot of people don’t like to admit that, but we are completely different beings. With the exception of outliers, men are wired to provide and women are wired to be provided for. We have the babies and our bodies & attention are required to sustain them from the start. Our health and well being is way more vulnerable, and to add to that having to provide resources as well when a man is involved will breed resentment for most women. On the other hand men don’t have babies but they have a bigger physical build, and feel intrinsic reward in accomplishing tasks, gaining respect from peers, and building resources to provide. Most healthy men will feel under accomplished in being provided for by a woman. She can support him all day long but he may not ever feel content with that because it is her resources providing for the family (that she also birthed). It carries a different weight between the sexes in terms of ego and fulfillment because the roles are off. It will feel out of order.
Nicole, if you want that type of lifestyle Jordan is not the man for you. He's not going to match your income. You need to either accept that or move on.
Awesome guests, can't wait for Pt.2! Things definitely got more interesting after reading the application letter... Ramit, can we get a paid subscription ad-free option? Or consider moving the ad rolls to beginning or end of episode?
My first thoughts were how courageous the participants were to share there financials with the world. Second, I thought how private I am and wondered if I could be as transparent. Finally, I thought how can I get help. Help !
That letter contained how she really felt. I'm sorry but how do you continue a relationship with someone when that comes out let alone when that comes out on youtube.
45:30 I'm not crying you're crying 🥺 I can relate to Nicole as an employee but it seems like Jordan started out thinking differently about the cc debt as a business owner. I hope he keeps his business debt separate from personal spending, though!
@ramit im trying to search the 66/67 connie and wes episode you reference but am turning up blank in youtube search. Did that episode break the internet?😂 Can you link it?
I really like your show but I can’t get over how against home ownership you are. I love my home and I’m over here in 2023 paying my mortgage with a 3% interest rate from 2013 and a house price from 2013. My house is worth 2x what I paid for it, my monthly payments are half of what you would pay in rent and I’ll be mortgage free when I’m 50 years old. There’s so much security in that!
What they need to do is get other income other than Nicole's income. Together they should 1. Start investing for the future, each with their own account. 2. Start a business using Jorden's talents, that will makes more money. I would suggest opening a gym for a steady income, and give Jorden a place to continue personal training. Nicole could be a silent partner, where she funds the start up, and Jorden provides the labor and business management. 3. hire an accountant to track the business finances. 4. pay off credit cards every month. 5, Keep their spending to where they could live off of one income, either his, or hers in case of emergency. Once that they get to that point, take a three week vacation to some place that they both would really like to see, and make a baby 😁
I get why percentages are great for financial planners that look at the numbers for many folks. But it is useful to remember that one can "run the numbers" and make a plan without ever calculating a percentage. + and - plus knowing the amounts you spend on what will work. Making someone admit they didn't have a plan when they never calculated a percentage, and then reveling in the conversation is not too cool in my book. I think it's hard to have a life long plan without some rules of thumb or ratios, but I could put together a 5 year plan with none. sure the 5 year plan may not be the best plan to kick off the richest possible life. It's not the same as "AHA, I knew you made a rash decision without running the numbers." I've seen Ramit in a lot of episodes and he is not usually this brash. Use this episode as a cautionary tale, Ramit.
We hear about Jorden’s debt BUT what about Nicole’s debt? I bet it’s over >S300,000 in student loans-after her Debt I bet she is no better than Jorden.
😢 I feel sorry for Jordan. This relationship shouldn't continue. It doesn't sound like she accepts Jordan as who and what he is right now. He shouldn't feel this stressed in his relationship about how he manages his business. She has to accept his business will not make a lot, and be able to plan life and kids on their combined amount. Period. If she can't deal with that adjustment she should move on and not stress him out. Not everyone can deal with marrying a different social class without mistreating or stressing out the lower earner. And she can't.
It seems more like a caregiver kind of relationship right now. It was hard to watch at times at her struggle to get through to him and he having a really hard time to open up and engage. I hope they make it and the future opens up for them as they learn how to overcome and enjoy their life together going forward and being successful together and individually as well.
Hi from Brazil. Just watched Netflix. We enjoyed it very much. Learned a lot. We enjoyed following Christian and Milly. About conservative investing, avoid day trading and get rich quick schemes. Success on your journey!
I feel bad for him…..I would feel bad if my partner made so much more than I did. I hear how hurt she was that he had never said thank you to her for her helping him out with the debt.
Gentle suggestion - could you label the videos with part 1 and part 2? I often find it hard to figure out which is which (or even that a video has another part) until I'm halfway through
And add links to the part 1 & 2 to the description of each!!
Yes to both!
Yes. Great suggestions.
Watching this was triggering for me. I was in a relationship with a partner who consistently struggled with his business. Year after year after year, they would try to sell some other product but I provided the bulk of our income. And the smaller bills that they promised they could manage or address were often overdue. THAT led to stress and anxiety because they wouldn't let me know what was happening. I would just accidentally discover that our water was almost about to be cut off or our phones were about to be cut off leaving me to swoop in and pay 10 times more than the original bill to keep these things from shutting off and I was making nowhere near what Nicole is making. What I discovered was that because I was always there, they didn't feel the need to find something that provided more consistent income. I feel Nicole's pain because she had a dream of what her life was going to be, but unfortunately, she can't have that with Jordan right now. The fact that they are not married yet brought property together is very telling. Nicole is right to have doubts and I bet Jordan does too. Money is a really painful sore spot in this relationship. Just because you love this person, doesn't mean you can't be scared of what your future will look like. After four years together, both Jordan and Nicole have all the information they need on what that future will look like, but they'll have to create a different future than what Nicole has in her head if she wants to be with Jordan. The options are simple really, Jordan either drastically increases his income OR Nicole accepts the income he has and accepts that she will be the primary breadwinner. Once she accepts that, then they can work on getting on the same page about how to make their money work for them. I was actually okay with my ex not making consistent income and me being the main provider but I never felt like my partner appreciated my efforts, plus I would come home, help my partner with their business and still had to handle a majority of the household responsibility, which made me angry and resentful because I felt overworked and unsupported.
That’s what happens usually with women, it’s been studied that when they are the breadwinner they taken on even more household labor. It’s like they are being punished for that and the housework is to compensate
Love is a far weaker force than money in the modern age. It's tragic but unavoidable.
I don’t think that the relationship won’t work just because of money conflict. I see it a lot-God has a way of bringing together two people on opposite extremes, to balance each other out. Hopefully they can each own their part and accept what is or take responsibility for their actions and work it out, if they truly love each other.
@@lbslott money pays their bills not love. She can love him and still accept the fact that he doesn’t have the interest in matching her financially. They are not an equal team and is clear he is not ok with her being so far up financially even though he is benefiting from her income. He refused to celebrate paying off the debt because he knew that was her accomplishment not his. His inability to be successful in his career will in fact make a jive impact in their relationship because he will feel resentment over her successes.
@@SaintsandSushi she also stated at the end that she's not comfortable being the sole breadwinner. Which in the long run will make her resent him, if their situation stay as is. The clock is ticking 😢
My wife and I have watched your entire Netflix series. It was fantastic. We have made the decision to move on from our financial advisor, who collected 1% annually after hearing the advice you gave on the show. Checked our statements, and after 15 years we calculated that we made 5.5% increase while our advisor collected 15% percent over that same time period. Wish you had done your Netflix series 15 years ago!
Props to Jordan for holding together like he did. Watching this podcast highlighted something more than just the money psychology for me. It was also the expectation that men control their feelings, that we can't show weakness. Jordan heard some really harsh words from Nicole and you can see that it really hurt him. And yet, he either didn't want to break or maybe felt like he wasn't allowed to break. If roles were reversed I feel that might have gone differently.
Compliments to both Jordan and Nicole for their willingness to both be so vulnerable on the show. I'm really interested how Ramit helps them in part 2.
I mean the girl came out like she was wanting to be on Springer or Wilkos the she wanted to delete her words.
She said them to a complete stranger. That's rough man. Not a lot of guys can handle that type of grilling then act so calm.
Exactly, I’m only 21 and has male. You can feel the same thing. He cares, it’s such a big gap between his income and hers. You can understand the frustration because to get even close to that takes a while. He’s got to be patient .
This is the thing if roles are reversed and Jordan or any other man was making 33k a month and his wife was making 3500 than there wouldn’t be any discussion.
Man would simply take care of his family
props for what? hes poor and fat
I commend them both for being as vulnerable as they both were and in aw of Jorden for being able to keep it together as much as he did hearing those tough words that were spoken.
Kudos to both of them. As a woman I am concerned about Nicole hitting burnout if she becomes a mom AND has to maintain the bulk of the income. You can’t keep cutting and cutting the budget, especially with inflation and other household expenses which will naturally increase. I’ve done this before when ex became a small business owner. I maintained a full time job and took ALL the responsibility for the kids, basically became a married single mom. It’s very real and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him. It’s just facing reality of what they both want out of life and if it’s compatible. Good luck to them!
Kudos to both of them on their success! Jordan, $5000/mo gross on your own business as a PT is awesome. I’m nowhere near that in my photography business yet. It takes time to scale especially as a solopreneur.
That's a really great reply. I really hope your photography business takes off!
I also have my own business (going on 8+ years now) and I just passed the $100k/year mark. The sad part of where I'm at emotionally is very similar to Jordan. I feel stressed by money and I don't feel like I'll be able to provide consistently for my future, let alone including a partner. But on another level, I've been able to achieve a lot, paid off lots of debt (particularly medical debt), and worked very hard to get to where I'm at. I can imagine Jordan's personality is that he wants to provide more and earn more, but he's trying as hard as he can, which leads to stress and feelings of not being adequate for the relationship.
I hope they can be a real partnership. She's going to have to accept that she will make less money when she goes part-time and that they as a couple might not have as much money if she does that. My parents both went part time when I was born and figured out a way to make it work. Maybe she can't emotionally accept that, and if that's the case, maybe she needs to move on knowing that she emotionally wanted a partner who made more money and provided a level of support that Jordan is not able to provide at this moment. But hopefully they'll get more honest with each other and be able to accept what each other brings to the table and how that makes them both stronger together.
that money sucks... plus hes fat, hows he training anyone
That final hug brought tears to my eyes ❤ they are so strong for being on this podcast and talking about things that most of us suffer in private and are incapable of saying out loud.
lol this is about number crunching and women of course have to go to the feelings and emotions...shake my head
@@fauxbro1983 The number one cause of divorce, is finances. It is emotional to many people and they walk away from relationships because of this topic. It can lead to feelings of resentment and lack of control if people feel taken advantage of in the relationship.
@@fauxbro1983 Agree 100% ..... and I'm a woman. I think her love for him is going to make her too soft about this issue. She's obviously a very bright woman who is apologizing for being honest and real and it is sad to see. She knows in her gut what to do but won't do it.
Words that she put on that application cut him deep.. She knows it. That hug was to soften the blow. but it will not save him.
1000% agree! They are brave!!! All the pain they went through, there must be growth! ❤
Kudos to Jordan for being on the show👊🏾
What I appreciate from this show is how it highlights the importance of communicating to your partner about money EARLY and OFTEN in the relationship. My wife and I have had our disagreements in the past and there's still things we dont see perfectly eye to eye on, but because we worked on de-stigmatizing money talks we have been able to come together and grow as a couple.
It is a tragedy to see an otherwise good relationship decay because of the lack or poor quality of communication. Props to them for making it onto the show because it's definitely a step forward, but the problem had already festered into her having those ugly thoughts about her man whom she loves.
Meet your partner where they are and work on your common goals together!
Beautifully said!!
What I love about this is that you focus on the MEANING behind or with money! That is critical and a part of the money conversation that rarely gets air time.
She spoke from her heart. She needs to love herself and not make excuses for him. She needs to trust her gut. She knows the answer already but she doesn’t want to leave. 😢
😂
Sunk cost fallacy
Quit being a clown. Why are so many people chomping at the bit to divorce internet strangers on their behalf? She isn't leaving him. He racked up $31k in debt supporting her for 2 or 4 or 8 years? If she can't provide $31k a year at part time when she makes $30k a month full time, then his ability to provide isn't the problem; it is a joint or her spending problem, cause he had it on minimal bleed supporting 2 on his own.
@@stephenzygiel5266 How about being mature enough to stop the name-calling just because your point of view is different? Neither one of you may have a solution that works.
@@ajbee4706 They are being a clown. How about being mature enough to know when someone is commenting on a point of view instead of attacking the person? I prescribed no solution. That is a very personal point they will have to figure out based on their own wants and goals. It would be foolish of me as an internet stranger to expect to be any realistic level of counsel on how someone needs to manage their marriage. The woman is making 1/3 of a million a year. I have a hard time imagining she would be foolish enough to take said advice.
I'm honestly still processing this episode. I have a ton of admiration for Nicole and Jordan courageously sharing their story as well as for Ramit courageously asking the tough but important questions that help unearth the deeper issues that would otherwise keep lingering.
I got way more value than just financial out of this conversation - especially that last hug moment got me pondering about decisions I have (and haven't) been making in my own life as well. Thank you sincerely to all three for such a real and powerful conversation. 🙏
I felt it in my throat when he heard what she said in her application. You could see his emotion even though he was trying to hold it back.
I was sad she took it back-man child needs to “pack his bags”
@@Wee_Catalyst 42k a year isn't "childish." It's the median income in the US. You can't get with a regular guy if you want a top 1% lifestyle.
@@MissKashira I didn’t say his income was childish, I said he was a man child
And I still stand by that statement because reneging on an adult responsibility like managing your joint finances with your life partner THAT IS ASKING TO NOT BE THE ONLY PERSON SADDLED WITH THE STRESS OF MANAGING THEIR SHARED FINANCES is childish behavior, not the maturity level one would hope to expect out of someone adult enough to take marriage vows
Does that make sense to you now or do I need to repeat myself a 3rd time?
@@Wee_Catalyst But they aren't "joint" finances. They are living in the house she wants to live in. Paying off debt the way she wants to handle it. They aren't equal partners. She's not acting like they are equal partners. And given she makes ten times what he does, he doesn't have the authority necessary to pretend like they are equal partners. How is he gonna object to any purchase when it's all her money anyway? The man is not even living in the state he wants to live in. There isn't a behavior he's doing that's upsetting her. She feels like he's beneath her and there is nothing he can do about that.
@@MissKashira I feel sorry for you that you find that behavior acceptable and let people treat you poorly but that doesn’t change the fact that some of us have standards 🤷♀️
Just binged watched all episodes of your Netflix 😅 show. Your editor deserves an award man!
editors**. he got a team surely
Blown away by this episode, Ramit. Seriously had me tearing up. Kudos to Jordan and Nicole for their vulnerability. It’s pretty amazing to see how you open people up… it’s almost always about more than just the money. Looking forward to seeing how the conversation ends up next week. I wish them both nothing but the best.
Watched several episodes. You have an interesting approach. I rented until I was 52! I grew up in a house where saving was important but we spent on the things we loved (my parents saved so they could go to Europe every 4-5 years to visit family and relax) Now my husband and I own a condo in Vancouver, Canada. No debt. My husband is retired and spends time golfing and with his kids and me. I only work part-time since I like it. Like your guilt free spending but so many live with debt as if it’s normal these days.
OMG i am CRYING😭 esp when they went and hugged each other. Thank you Jordan and Nicole for sharing your story! Lots of love to you both x
Shoutout to Jorden and Nicole for coming on the show to talk about this. I don't have their courage, but I and many others have been in their position, and I hope they know they're not alone (and that their story helps us realize we're not alone either).
I applaud them for having the courage to sit down with you. This conversation is another reminder of the power that our psychology has over every aspect of our lives, including our finances. Looking forward to seeing how Ramit is able to help them in part 2
She could support his business through out capital. I say help him grow that same way he helped her. I feel so bad for the guy, you can see his pain. If he was a provider before, he can be a provider again.
I’m sorry, but $400k a year or even half that if she cuts back is not an income problem.
I think what really is bothering her is the breech of trust.
She wants a partner that doesn't make 1/10 of what she makes. That's like if she made $5k a month and he made $500 a month.
She doesn't want to be the bread winner or at least that high of a bread winner because it means she can't take time off for the kids. The only thing they can do is live within their means of her only working 3 days a week when the kids are small.
Unless she's really saying she doesn't value a person that only takes home $40k a year, as in she didn't imagine being with a partner that didn't make a lot more. He made it look like he was contributing and holding them afloat when really it was his credit cards that were. He needs a normal job or work for a gym, rather than have a business. Or maybe even, she can buy a gym, but honestly ask every gym owner, there no money in it.
Maybe she doesn't want him leaning on her financially no matter her income level.
That hug was powerful.
Sir, I didn’t come watch this to find myself in tears 😭 when she hugged him had me choking back my tears.
Jordan you are a great guy. Income levels don’t mean all that. You show you truly care. Wishing you nothing but the best in life. You got this !!!!
Are you serious? He’s playing her!
Sorry - income level is extremely important.
Wrong - finances are one of the main reasons for couples divorcing. When you're a grown up you have to be able to manage your life properly. He can't be a drain on her finances for her whole life.
Jordan is not a great guy, he’s a mooch and then can’t even be appreciative
Most women expect their male partner to make as much if not more than them even if they are high earners. Jordan was great until she started making all this money. He wanted to make financial decisions based off his income, but she wants to make them based off her income. If you want to stay at home with your future kids, run the numbers off working those two days a week. My wife has made more than twice as much as me our whole 16 year marriage. If she lost her job today we could live off my income. That takes the stress away!
What's funny is that even when we don't guys often put it on themselves.
Such a good idea and practical/makes sense!
@@devorahacts Because they should!
She knew what he did for a living when they got together, and now she wants him to be on her income level, even though she went into extreme debt to get to her income level. They have basic lifestyle differences and he would be better off with someone who sees the value in what he does rather than trying to become a high earner just to meet her expectations.
I am typing this comment after watching 3 episodes of Netflix .. I cant stop. So much learning.. Thank You.
Watched the entire series and one of my favorite things was watching your interaction with the people you are helping, not one time did you shame them or talk down to them like other shows and podcasts I've seen or listened to.
Thank u Nicole & Jorden for sharing your story! I've been a stay at home mom for many years. I managed everything at home so my husband could focus on work 100%. We always made financial decisions together. 'Respect' is what is most important in any relationship. You have to be confident in yourself as an individual or it will affect your relationship. Don't let 'fear' ruin a great relationship together. I just subscribed to your channel.
She has such a high income - can she not save a fund so she doesn't have to worry about taking leave to be with her kids? Or if she starts a orthodontics practice of her own in the future she can set her own hours.
People get In the mindset that work becomes life often. Everything you do when you own your own business is for the business. And it can be insanely stressful to trust anyone else to handle things.
She should probably think about what outcomes she wants. Love is simple to find. Love the exact way we want it Is nearly impossible.
I thought the same thing. Not sure what the student loan situation is, but I gather they could easily set aside enough money to cover going part time for a few years. Plus, did she choose the right career path to enable what she thinks she wants?
With a 10 to 1 income difference in California she may have found out about having to pay palimony if things go wrong also.
That’s exactly what I have been thinking the whole time!
@@ptompkins8937 Too late, they are already there. I rather doubt that is the issue.
Omg I cried at the end. This couple is so sweet and sincere. I hope we see more of them.
This was a tough one...- truth is finances are a huge part of relationships - conversations are necessary....
I’m 65 and wished I had this advice! As a single Mom, all I did was try to survive and give my kids the best life! Money is an emotional topic that needs to be addressed. My favorite is the money psychology 🎉
why were you single? where did you fail to keep your baby daddy?
@@juanshaftpatel7488 and again. Do you get your kicks from insulting strangers online?
@@katie8325 where was the insult? i asks simple questions... are you ashamed of being a single mom too?
@@juanshaftpatel7488play in traffic you’re useless.
It's obvious there's so much more going on than finances. I feel for them as you can see they care for each other.
OMG!!!! Watching your show, really good but ........just because people don't like the word "Budget" does not mean you need to lie about it. A proper budget always looks forward and is a plan into the future. As a retired Accountant, I have created or helped create so many budgets for different funding sources both for business and personal. Not one of them was looking backwards. You can call it a conscious spending plan (great marketing) or a budget, it is one and the same.
The problem was stated in that letter, but she doesn't even want him to hear what she said. She used the power she has from her income to move them to where she wanted to live, but now she's worried he won't be able to pay the bills once she's pregnant. Well, yeah. You make ten times what he makes and it's not even reasonable to expect him to make 30k a month. I don't blame him for being on the verge of tears, he's being degraded for something that's not his fault.
Seems like you’re one of the only commenters that caught this too. I was scrolling and thinking “did everyone that’s trying to shame Jordan even watch the same episode?” It’s like everyone else completely glossed over him doing his best to provide while also trying to grow his business.
@@rayofsunshan I doubt people would be expecting a massage therapist to keep up with the earnings of a doctor if he weren't a man. It's just sexism.
This genuinely brought tears to my eyes!
Has to be rough for Jordan to have a masculine career but not have the masculine role of breadwinner. Her income is an anomaly. It’s unattainable for the average person.
Wow. This really got intense in the last bit and we actually started hearing the truth of what was going on. Interested to see what part 2 holds. And Jordan I really wouldn’t have been able to hold it together the way you did.
I see my partner and me SO much in Nicole and Jorden. A lot of respect to both of them for coming on the show.
yall are gonna breeak up... im sure youre poorer
@@juanshaftpatel7488 the comments you leave on this channel are pathetic
🤢
Maybe it's the European in me talking and you Americans can say I lack ambition. But I'd just be happy with that kind of income and call it a day. Why strive for even more and have a stressful life? All his stress stems from comparing himself to her. To me that's unnecessary.
Same here. Making over 100k always sound like a lot to me (Netherlands). These two making over 400k together? Wow
it's highly unrealistic even for most American even if you have a bunch of degrees. I can't comprehend how she expect him to make that much and come up with how in such a short period of time. Like I would be happy making his salary o_O our minimum salary here is around 7$/hour .
Unfortunately in some areas of the USA $400,000 before taxes is not a lot at all. They are in California so subject to the higher taxes. Also cost of living is astronomical. That being said, I age with you that there needs to be balance. They are in a better spot than most people
@@gmarrese91 it’s still a ton of money in California where the median household income is $84k
I'm from USA and my wife is from Germany, and this was something we discussed for years. The big differences is cultural. For her, zero debt was the goal because her family is covered by government pension (father was teacher). For me, I see all additional income as retirement related. I want to keep making more so retirement is more comfortable.
Dear Ramit, I loved your show, it gave me insight especially how couples communicate about finances. It's given me the courage to be completely transparent. Thank you!
Hi Ramit! Just watched all 8 episodes and now found your podcast! I love it! I'm in Switzerland and we don't have the same credit card system, no credit score and retirement works differently. But a lot of your advice is still applicable! You got a new subscriber! Cheers! M
Bought your book I think over a year ago... the universe brought it back to me last night when I saw your show recommended to me on Netflix. I said OMG I have his book! My boyfriend literally didn't believe me until I pulled it off the shelf lol. That book was gold back when I read it and you are more than worthy of this show. Binging it currently and rereading the book because I need to be more aggressive with paying off my student loans and credit cards. Thank you!!
brave of them both to be on here, so kudos.
However, this guy needs to spend less money on biz coaching and more on some therapy that teaches him how to communicate with his partner. early on red flags flew because he had NEVER thanked her for helping with his cc debt and she said something like, 'he doesn't like to apologize, i just know he's sorry because of his body language.' women ask for so very little and then receive even less. the bar is through the floor.
later on she mentions he turned on ramit's podcast when they were having an argument about money and she 'knew' what he was getting at. that is SO FRUSTRATING. why on earth does he expect her to read his mind? Why can't this bro just say what he wants to talk about?!
then, it turns out he was using the credit cards to keep them afloat while she was in school. that is lying and endangering their future with his terrible credit. if she had known that, she said outright that she wouldn't have agreed to it. basically he lulled her into a false sense of security.
not being able to apologize is the main red flag, though. she deserves better. My take on him has absolutely nothing to do with how much he earns - they have way more than enough to live comfortably on even if she goes down to 2 days/week. she is right to be worried about having the entire burden of finances on her shoulders, because he cannot talk about money, let alone handle it!
Man, these episodes are deep. Kudos to those who choose to come on here.
I was the one, who discovered you by watching the Netflix show. Yesterday I watched all the episodes long, and then I subscribed your channel. Thank you for your work.
I love watching your podcasts on UA-cam, but I have to say on this episode there were way too many Ad sponsor information. Kudos to all your clients that come on your show.
This episode frustrated me. She based a house payment on an income she doesn’t want to maintain long term. Instead of qualifying for a home on a $400k income, she should have figured it on part time income her future self wants. He’s now re-establishing his business in his 3rd relocation with her. It takes time to get his income up again.
Love this couple! Please do not split these shows into 2 episodes. I loose the momentum of the moments with them.
A lot of men feel emasculated by a wife that makes a LOT more than they do (or sometimes, even a little). Jorden doesn;t want to say it, but he clearly feels inadequate. He needs to come to terms with that. Nicole is KILLIN'iN it income-wise and shouldn't feel bad because of that.
as a fellow man who has been on both sides and have never given a fuck either way, you are spot on lol
It think a lot of his inadequate feelings come from her. Despite the fact that he makes a solid income at 75k her letter in sounds like she looks down on him. They make MORE than enough to save and retire in a few years. She could cut her income in half and they would be fine. It's because she has an arbitrary expectation on him as a man.
Fear of not having money is real. I feel it, so does family.
I just started your series. The first minutes definitely feel like it'll be more emotional than your podcast, more like a reality TV show. This is entertaining but I hope the techniques on how to talk about money don't come too short because of that. I hope it's ok to post that here as well
Yes, enough hype!
Really good episode. I understand both sides in this one but I think her expectations are a little unrealistic. She’s an orthodontist-a very skilled career that takes multiple years of training. It’s not realistic to expect him to make even more than that or even the same.
Looking forward to the next episode and the Netflix show!
I was like how the hell she makes that much out of college!? Immediatly after watching I searched for career that pay 400K a year. You have to be a doctor or some senior CEO or maybe very high level specific things in tech. Even small business owner average 68k/year from what I find on google. He is technically making more or similar to what most make. Imagine the stress of feeling like you have to come up with a business that bring 400k all of a suddent and you have a year deadline. You have to be extraordinary to achieve that and happened to be passionate about something super profitable. Most people sadly we are just average and we can't keep up. =/
@@magalimasson9472 I agree. If a marriage is going to work, they need to make it "our" money - and with her perspective, they may need to either do that now or move on.
He can have people under him
@@magalimasson9472 1) She is not really "out of college" like she's 22 or something. She earned $0 before the age of 30. An orthodontist is one of the highest-paying non-business owner jobs one can achieve. Very similar path to MD's. 2) Jordan does not take home 70k a year, that was his total revenue. After expenses, he is making 35-40k a year in one of the most expensive states in America. Baristas in California make more money than that. 3) I never heard her state that Jordan needs to earn the same level of income and I highly doubt she expects that. I think she worries that she will be the ONLY way the family will earn income. I feel the same way in my relationship. I make 150-175k a year and would never expect that from my partner, but at the same time, I never was interested in someone who was reliant upon me to eat. It's too much pressure. As she said, she is looking for a financial teammate.
She need to find a man on her financial level that’s tug of war is not going to get better she’s a doctor she needs to find another doctor or high income earner .. she will have to work thru her pregnancy because he doesn’t make enough
Maaaan this was triggering 😢
I can’t speak from a female perspective but as a man I can totally appreciate the pressure to bring in the finances to raise and support a family. I personally can’t escape the gender role thing.
Maybe it’s how I was raised but I would really struggle if I didn’t at least match my partners income.
Amazingly honest and refreshing podcast
Well then work on the mistakes you were raised with . . . You identified a life problem for you and then immediately dismiss it like achieving the first step of self-awareness is enough . . .
No wonder you identify with the pathetic man child in this video 🙄
Ramit- I like how you went straight for the CC + bank transactions. It says so much! Love to you-keith
I just cried for 49 minutes straight. Good luck you two!
This is one of the most beautiful episodes 💛
Pay off 30 k in 5 months is astonishing! Paying 6 k per month to eliminating it! Wow!
I watched the show on Netflix and really got a lot from it. Now I am listening to your podcast. Thank you.
This went from “he makes 6000/month” to “he makes $3500/month” to “he’s running a FAILED business” reallllll fast.
my fav moments in this show even when its the opposite.
I watched the first 3 minutes on netflix before watching this video. You did great, the energy is amazing. People that do not know you will warmtch it because it promisses to be entertaining. They do not know how much they will learn.
Ramit! I binge watched the entire show yesterday 🤪 congratulations on all of your successes!
They're not compatible. Its kind of amazing to see it so clearly from the outside. I also dont think hes being honest
I am definitely in the wrong industry. I wish I had known how much you could make as an orthodontist before I went to college... maybe I would have chosen that industry instead. My career really maxes out at 150k
This was very uncomfortable to watch...and a little of a low blow for him. I am female and i have noticed women dont feel ashamed or bothered when the man is the provider, i feel they may even think they deserve it, though to be fair i know some good woman who takes care of house and kids do deserve the financial help. But i cant help toi feel SHE IS THE SOLE reason why he is so stressed, if you are NOW in a better financial position, and if you are discussing kids and living together...help him, help him with his debt but dont harrass him,compare him or belittle him. It seems the root of it all is that SHE is the one that has the problem about his income and its causing him to feel impotent. Its so uncomfortable
Men and women are different. I know a lot of people don’t like to admit that, but we are completely different beings. With the exception of outliers, men are wired to provide and women are wired to be provided for. We have the babies and our bodies & attention are required to sustain them from the start. Our health and well being is way more vulnerable, and to add to that having to provide resources as well when a man is involved will breed resentment for most women. On the other hand men don’t have babies but they have a bigger physical build, and feel intrinsic reward in accomplishing tasks, gaining respect from peers, and building resources to provide. Most healthy men will feel under accomplished in being provided for by a woman.
She can support him all day long but he may not ever feel content with that because it is her resources providing for the family (that she also birthed). It carries a different weight between the sexes in terms of ego and fulfillment because the roles are off. It will feel out of order.
Nicole, if you want that type of lifestyle Jordan is not the man for you. He's not going to match your income. You need to either accept that or move on.
Spot on.
Awesome guests, can't wait for Pt.2! Things definitely got more interesting after reading the application letter... Ramit, can we get a paid subscription ad-free option? Or consider moving the ad rolls to beginning or end of episode?
Interesting idea. Who else is interested in this?
@@ramitsethi I subscribe to UA-cam premium - no ads. It’s worth it for me and I don’t have cable TV or anything like that, so it’s a good value.
@@OhMaryJo I think he is referring to the ads in the video that Ramit reads and not the ads that google inserts in the videos.
@@ramitsethi I have UA-cam premium already, not sure why people who have that should have to pay double?
It was a lot this episode, but I just fast forward through them
I am currently enjoying your Netflix show Ramit, and you are doing God’s work. Thank you for what you do 🙏🏾 and stay blessed
binge watched it last night!!
My first thoughts were how courageous the participants were to share there financials with the world. Second, I thought how private I am and wondered if I could be as transparent. Finally, I thought how can I get help. Help !
Deb and I love it! Look forward to learning much, much more! An eye-opening experience for our own financial health.
That lady NEEDS to let him GO , so she can be happy
Please make second season, your show is amazing
I watched your show last night and it was great!!! you are "the real deal" I loved the part you talked about NOT paying any financial advisor 1%!
That letter contained how she really felt. I'm sorry but how do you continue a relationship with someone when that comes out let alone when that comes out on youtube.
Streamed the whole series today. Loved it
Same!!!
God lord this hit to close to home for me😢
I pray that this couples relationship makes it as well as mine🙏
I just watched your entire show and it was fantastic! Thank you for the great advice!
I binged watched your series. couldn't get enough!
I love this show 😭 I’m so addicted
45:30 I'm not crying you're crying 🥺
I can relate to Nicole as an employee but it seems like Jordan started out thinking differently about the cc debt as a business owner. I hope he keeps his business debt separate from personal spending, though!
Well, it is just me giving you a message. I like how you give financial advice along with the interesting lives of your clients
@ramit im trying to search the 66/67 connie and wes episode you reference but am turning up blank in youtube search. Did that episode break the internet?😂 Can you link it?
I really like your show but I can’t get over how against home ownership you are. I love my home and I’m over here in 2023 paying my mortgage with a 3% interest rate from 2013 and a house price from 2013. My house is worth 2x what I paid for it, my monthly payments are half of what you would pay in rent and I’ll be mortgage free when I’m 50 years old. There’s so much security in that!
It really is mind blowing how much ramit hates on homeownership.
I don't get his take on homeownership either but, I own three houses.
26:40 how to find the previous episodes when they are not numbered?
What they need to do is get other income other than Nicole's income. Together they should 1. Start investing for the future, each with their own account. 2. Start a business using Jorden's talents, that will makes more money. I would suggest opening a gym for a steady income, and give Jorden a place to continue personal training. Nicole could be a silent partner, where she funds the start up, and Jorden provides the labor and business management. 3. hire an accountant to track the business finances. 4. pay off credit cards every month. 5, Keep their spending to where they could live off of one income, either his, or hers in case of emergency. Once that they get to that point, take a three week vacation to some place that they both would really like to see, and make a baby 😁
You don't combine finances with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Recipe for disaster.
I get why percentages are great for financial planners that look at the numbers for many folks. But it is useful to remember that one can "run the numbers" and make a plan without ever calculating a percentage. + and - plus knowing the amounts you spend on what will work. Making someone admit they didn't have a plan when they never calculated a percentage, and then reveling in the conversation is not too cool in my book. I think it's hard to have a life long plan without some rules of thumb or ratios, but I could put together a 5 year plan with none. sure the 5 year plan may not be the best plan to kick off the richest possible life. It's not the same as "AHA, I knew you made a rash decision without running the numbers." I've seen Ramit in a lot of episodes and he is not usually this brash. Use this episode as a cautionary tale, Ramit.
Ramit!
Watching your series on Netflix and loving it!
We hear about Jorden’s debt BUT what about Nicole’s debt? I bet it’s over >S300,000 in student loans-after her Debt I bet she is no better than Jorden.
i just located your account by watching the netflix show - so informative ❤❤❤❤
this was a rollercoaster !
😢 I feel sorry for Jordan. This relationship shouldn't continue. It doesn't sound like she accepts Jordan as who and what he is right now. He shouldn't feel this stressed in his relationship about how he manages his business. She has to accept his business will not make a lot, and be able to plan life and kids on their combined amount. Period. If she can't deal with that adjustment she should move on and not stress him out. Not everyone can deal with marrying a different social class without mistreating or stressing out the lower earner. And she can't.
💯
why? hes a loser....
It seems more like a caregiver kind of relationship right now. It was hard to watch at times at her struggle to get through to him and he having a really hard time to open up and engage. I hope they make it and the future opens up for them as they learn how to overcome and enjoy their life together going forward and being successful together and individually as well.
Hi from Brazil. Just watched Netflix. We enjoyed it very much. Learned a lot.
We enjoyed following Christian and Milly. About conservative investing, avoid day trading and get rich quick schemes.
Success on your journey!
Oh my gosh🎉❤!!Congrats !!I am so happy I love financial shows anyways and Netflix definitely has very little !!I can’t wait to watch it!!!
Thank you for these series on YT I don’t pay for Netflix-Love these are available on YT🎉
I feel bad for him…..I would feel bad if my partner made so much more than I did. I hear how hurt she was that he had never said thank you to her for her helping him out with the debt.
Loving your videos and podcasts
I think money shouldn’t be a factor if you really love someone (yes you have to plan but love does comes first)
I watched all your Netflix episodes and loved it!!!