A lot of people who have an eating disorder and think they’re faking it feel like they aren’t “sick” enough to get help. Meaning they’re not underweight and they don’t look like they’re dying. This is something that I have struggled for years.
Ruby Nuñez omg i feel same... Lately i stopped tryimg to follow any diet and ive been binging much less, but i still generaly eat very un healty and much still. Now i just feel like im just lazy bastard, but all the way of thinking and diet hatimg behaviors are still there,,,,,, i feel like i dont deserve fysical treatment even tho i know it would help
I'll be honest, I was really nervous to click on this one. It's one of those things that's always the back of my head because I don't "look" like I struggle with it. I know people that have had much more dramatic experiences through rehab, etc. But this made me feel better and valid with my personal recovery and not like I'm an attention grabbing liar.
I'm so glad you did this video. This can apply to so many things that we do to cope that other people can see as "trying to get attention." Before I got to a healthier place, I did so many bad things to cope - drugs, alcohol, eating disorders and self-harm. No one wanted to hear why. It was always just "get over it" and "stop seeking attention". Thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting this message out. It needs to be heard.
I am so glad this was helpful!! And I agree.. there are so many misconceptions and so much stigma. Always happy to get the positive message out :) xoxo
I've been looking for someone who sees stuff from this perspective. I can't count how many times friends, family, others and even professionals told me I'm ' faking it' or 'attention seeking'. We need more Kati Mortons in this world 😂
@@moist_spinach They tend to do that in my health authority. Health vs mental helath is super misunderstood and most workers seem to believe if you don’t have an excess of blood coming out of you in unusual places, you’re fine 🙄
I was hanging out with teenagers and half of the girls were on some kind of a very restrictive diet and I totally get it. We are (especially women) constantly judged on our appearance and even pretending you have an eating disorder can make you look "cool" in the company of other girls who are restricting their calories.
Kati I absolutely love every one of your videos. As a teen who's spent the last year in an inpatient facility, I find your way of talking really soothing (?) in that you don't make everything super clinical and scary. The way you approach problems that tons of people have without harshness but with a huge amount of genuine understanding and compassion is sorta liberating because you're validating everything that people hate with regards to themselves. I started watching your videos a year ago, when I was hiding the fact that I was clinically depressed and self harming, and I still have the same comfort when I come onto your channel. Huge amount of gratefulness and support from over here. -Emily ps my psychologist and psychiatrist both love you as well
At the very least these videos are educational and people can learn something and get the facts right ... as to me, I think it is way better to advertise this content rather than not making people aware about ed and letting them found out through places like proana and promia, as I sadly did back when I was starting highschool. Because of it I went through hell and back, thus I was so happy to find your channel years ago. You really helped a lot.
Sometimes people use a phrase like "making up an eating disorder" not because it's true, but because we don't have the words (or courage!) to express what we really mean. For example, when I'm stressed, I have no appetite. Once when I was in a high stress time of my life, there were days I was only eating one meal a day... and that's because my family ate dinner together and I didn't want the attention not eating would bring. The difference was, I wasn't "locked in" to those behaviors like someone with an eating disorder. I could eat any time I wanted, I just lost the desire to for a while. (I was also dealing with anhedonia from depression.) From the outside, if you didn't know what was going on, you might think I was "making up an eating disorder," when in actuality, it was stress and anhedonia. But I didn't even KNOW the word anhedonia back then, and definately didn't have the courage and understanding to put my depression, anxiety, and stress into words.
I am ASHAMED of having an eating disorder and am mortified when people have found out and Most people with EDs are. I can’t imagine willingly telling someone about my condition.
1am yesterday after eating popcorn at with no care in the world, feeling great, theres no way I have an ED... *20 minutes later* feeling horrendous and convinced I had gained 20kg 😣 why would anyone choose to feel like this??!!
I literally JUST started therapy for my eating disorder and anxiety and just talked to my therapist about this 2 hours ago! Thank you for this video. Your channel is so valuable for those who can't afford therapy. I'm so upset that it can't be monetized. Thank you Kati for sharing these videos.
Yeah totally! Technically I "made up" my past self harm issues and ed issues! it started from somewhere. At first for me it was for attention! It then snowballed and became more of a secretive thing but either way whatever you're dealing with in whatever way, YOUR STRUGGLE IS VALID and you are an AMAZING human being that deserves help and love
Same. At first it was to get someone to talk to me or be there to help. But then it turned into something that became so uncontrollable that it’s turning into a life altering thing. Just because you needed help with another issue.
Thank u kati. I needed this the most. Me and my therapist was just talking about this yesterday. I am writing in my journal right now. It brought me to tears because everything you were talking about is what I went through as a kid. Really touched on some sensitive stuff. Thank u.
I don't have an eating disorder. But I relate to this so much...sometimes when I have a relapse with self-harm, I want someone to see it, mostly my therapist (not just a random friend of course). Recently, I have been a lot more isolated and refuse to tell anyone if I'm not doing well. I had therapy yesterday and I didn't even realize how much I was holding in. I also think that I'm making up this thing that happened when I was 5 and a boy who had serious issues "touched" me when I had very little communication skills due to my processing disorder. This stuff isn't easy. But we gotta remember that our pain is always valid and matter. And I also wish I could believe that myself :/
You Katie are so full of compassion and understanding, you heal with your heart, you may have no idea yet how much Good you are doing through this videos, God bless you.
This. This is perfect. I started SI when I was 13, and got shamed because everyone else told me I was only doing it for attention. That was honestly worse than the SI itself. It's validating to hear someone with sense on these issues.
Thank you, I’m so glad I found this video, I’m only 13 and this really helped me start to understand why I would self harm and sometimes would inconsistently starve myself and/or purge. I didn’t feel like I was doing it for any real reason besides attention and didn’t realize what a problem it was until recently. I’ve started talking to my parents about it, and I’ll be starting therapy soon, and I’m really glad I’m starting to find the reason why I do and feel these sort of things. Thank you so much Kati.
I truly and deeply, admire your kindness ❤️ You never shame and you’re always sooo gentle when talking about these things. Thank you for that 😊 I struggle a lot with the thoughts that I’m making this up, I’m not sick enough, thin enough and that I eat too much to have an ED....you soothe my mind and make some of these thoughts less troublesome ❤️❤️❤️
Like many other spaces, mental health is a space for imposter syndrome, and it is SO easy to talk yourself into a whole lot of invalidating thoughts. You are real. Your pain is real.
Instant subscribe, I had never thought about people doing things "for attention" in that way. That need for attention or whatever it is, is itself an issue that needs to be addressed. Really changed the way I think about a tons of people I've known who've I've thought of as attention seekers. Thanks.
I strongly agree with you. I have a friend who felt too skinny and was terrified of getting an eating disorder she told me and some one friends everyone thought she was doing it for attention. I never because I'll support my friends no matter what. So everyday I would give her money to get extra food from the shop. Extra lunch if I didnt want mine ect. And she now weighs a healthy amount and now I feel amazing that I helped someone. Always help someone in need it could pay off becuase you have the amazing feeling of when you help someone and you might have stopped an illness and even if they weren't gonna get one. It doesn't matter because that person should be forever grateful.
This was so important to me, this has always been my deep dark secret that I’ve carried with me for years - i invented my problems, I made them all up and I did this to myself. That I never even had an eating disorder in the first place. I’ve never heard anyone talk about this feeling before, thank you so much Kati, words can’t describe how much clarity you have given me, and I’m sure, many others. Thank you for being here x
ED videos aren’t monitisable?! That’s ridiculous. Thank you for still making them, Kati. I often feel like I’m not ill enough and don’t deserve the treatment I’m getting because there are other people out there who need it more than me. Even though my bmi is “severely low” and it’s effecting my everyday life, I feel like I’m robbing other patients of time with the specialists, and because I’m not ready to change, I feel like I’m wasting their time.
It is super annoying, but I will keep talking about them anyways :) Sounds like your struggle is more about self worth and knowing that you are worthy of care and support. Maybe bring that up in therapy and see if that helps you move past this tough patch. xoxo
I definitely think it's possible, Kati. Back in 2016, my eating disorder was slowly pulling me away from this world. I was about 615 lbs, and really didn't care about much at all. Today, I've dropped about 150 lbs (but still need to loose much more). I'm not an analyst or anything, but I believe my problems have to do with feelings of rejection. As long as I can remember, I have had a very difficult time fitting in with people (no matter how hard I tried). In fact, I think sometimes I would even try too hard, and make myself look like an ass. This would then cause me to feel shame and embarrassment, which would lead to overeating. I still have these emotional issues, but instead of eating, I like to write. When I write, my inner therapist comes out, and helps me problem solve my emotions. Sometimes just a little meditation is also very helpful. Thank You for the thoughtful video.
I appreciate that you don't mention ED as just or only for weight loss: for me, it was a method of control and self-harm without showing scars (because I have MDD, GAD, and PTSD from sexual trauma). Every person's story is different regardless of the reason or cause, your story is valid
I have BED and my weight is humiliating. I'm trying to take better care of myself like exercise, sleep well, and find a way to manage my emotions without food. That coping mechanism is almost impossible to break. It's embarassing, stressful, and life-altering. I feel ashamed of myself. I feel out of control. I feel like I don't have a future. I feel like success is for "better" people. These and so many other feelings are things that I'm trying desperately to halt and change.
Kati, I LOVE this video!! SO MUCH!! I’m starting to see an eating disorder specialist soon and I’m glad I’m taking this step. But I feel really validated when you mentioned that if you do something for attention it’s because your hurting. I don’t have my eating disorder for attention, but I did at first start cutting for attention. Near the end I wasn’t cutting for attention anymore and was hiding it. But that’s besides the point, because I’m recovered from self injury!
This thought has crossed my mind after moments of self harming. For some reason i doubted my own emotional pain because I didn't cause enough physical pain... it would make me angry, feel weak, but then embarrassed because I wondered if I was lying to myself. I don't know if that makes any sense but... thanks for touching on the topic.
I’m not sure I’ve ever commented on a video but I just have to say thank you Katie! Thank you for pouring the effort into producing these videos. For taking your time and talent to help others! You’re videos have helped me so much and have helped others around me! Thank you thank you!! Your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed
This was very helpful. Ive started stuggling with an ED and part of me is saying "Omg just eat, you know you can your just attention seeking" and the other part of me feels aweful to eat and when I do I cry and feel overwelmed to have it in my body so I try and throw up or work it off
This was very validating thank you. My parents have always been the type to say "you're being dramatic, you're fine" and it rubbed off on me. I constantly brush off my own issues, physical or mental, because I think it's nothing and I'm just being a baby. This helped remind me my pain is real no matter why I feel it.
Thank you so much for saying this. I have been struggling with thoughts and similar for most of what I remember from my life. I'm turning 33 soon and I have a horrible memory so I don't remember much from my childhood but from what I DO remember i know I kept thinking to myself many times that maybe my selfharm was just me being an "attentionwh--" or whatever. As well as "my situation isnt even that bad GET OVER IT" ...and in some way I think i'm still struggling with that last part. But, hearing you (and many others who comment on these videos) say these things and spell them out are always encouraging and comforting. Thank you.
Wow... I really needed this... I'm struggling so much of the time and my negative brain makes me feel so guilty about everything and like what I feel is all bullshit... And it constantly tells me I'm not doing enough...
Thank you for coming at this topic a little different , that’s a huge help to me and trying to help someone / people that are not really getting it and as it’s so helpful when talking someone that’s really struggling with Ed . Thank you so much for all that you do and continue to do !!
Sometimes I thought I was faking, but I kept it all to myself and HATE reaching out... but I feel like facing what's going one helps you know if you're faking or not. Then you accept it. Then you fix it.
ED ARE SO COMPETITIVE!!! i remember one time a while ago my friend was talking about how she didnt eat for 3 days, and my brain overtime has taken that for "not eating for 3 days is normal". shes doing better now, but i still find myself trying to compete with her for how long i can go without food
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video, Kati! I've been struggling with bulimia for the past 5 years and it's a neverending nightmare, I also had to be hospitalized when the situation got so bad I couldn't cope any longer. And no - ED fighters are not making it up in any way, it's not fun at all and it makes you feel terribly guilty for not being able to heal. I wish people thinking we're faking it could spend a week in our shoes and see...
I notice that when I’m on the uprise from a depressive episode that I tend to indulge in more eating disorder-like tendencies and tell myself it’s “because I’m getting control of my life back”. This video made me feel so much better. No I wouldn’t consider myself anorexic but acting in such a way does get people asking me if I’m okay. And I’m too afraid to tell someone I’m not okay and want them to see it.
Could you talk about something like becoming more independent when affected by Dependent personality disorder or something like that? I love you and your videos! Good luck with your crazy month!!
As self-harm and eating disorders are easier notice than internal, mental disorder, people sometimes use these things as a cry for help. Personally when I’m unwell mentally, I may eat usually.
This set up, you sitting and the camera pushed in, feels a lot more engaging. Your talking style didn't change, but I stuck thru the whole video this time. This was such a great "session." Idk, would love a therapist like you. This was a great way to put the complex ideas around the implications of making things up.
Somehow your video's always come at the right time for me! Like when I was thinking about how my treatment wasn't helping, did I give it enhoug time?? BAM video about that. And thanks for this video keep doing what you do! You're doing an amazing job
Could you film a video explaining your experiences working at an eating disorder inpatient as well as what to expect. Kinda like a day in the life and answer maybe like myths about inpatient units? By the way I love your educational videos😁
Ugh can so relate to the "am I making this up?" Thoughts.... Or the I'm just broken, it's just me, this situation wouldn't traumatize anyone else, it's just me being less than narrative.... About 2 years, an amazing councilor, and bit of trauma/EMDR therapy later and finally starting to let myself just acknowledge my hurts and work at healing them instead of minimizing them or coming up with reasons of why I shouldn't be hurt to begin with (not helpful lol). It takes one piece of the messy icky negative thoughts out of my head that I don't have to manage anymore, and every little bit helps! :)
This is true, I'm 29.5kg and I feel no where near sick. I've been hiding it for so long I'm to scared to talk to anyone. My physicist doesn't even know. My parent's fight and I don't know my dad he does drugs and my mom smokes.
Kati Morton can get it any day of the week. On a more serious note I think people can do things for attention but what we shouldn’t do is tell people that they are faking if they claim they aren’t. There’s no way for you to determine whether or not someone who claims to be depressed is actually depressed so we should just assume that they are telling the truth. Because if we mistakingly tell someone who’s actually depressed that they are faking it can cause harm to them and they won’t get help.
Thank you for this video. I've had my ED for 25 years. I've been struggling with feeling like I don't have an ED anymore because I am pretty much almost weight restored, not because I've been recovering, just because my behaviors no longer work like they once did. I still have all of my behaviors, but I have gained weight so I don't feel like I should have the label (because I feel not sick enough), even though every single day is either restriction or restriction combined with purging. I'm ashamed. I have no goals so I quit therapy a year and a half ago and I want to go back, but I don't feel like I'm worth my therapist's time. I know my ED is a coping skill from being abused, but I sometimes think it wasn't that bad so maybe I'm just imagining that, too.
I liked this video. Good topic. Question: Is it possible to diet in a normal way after an eating disorder? I have over a decade history of Anorexia. I want/need to lose weight to get to a healthy weight now after 2 years "recovered", but my brain immediately wants to go to ED behaviors when I try.
For me, my brain works differently because I have more subconscious things happen in my conscious awareness than others, so i would get thoughts that would usually work behind the scenes when developing mental illnesses, and it would feel like I'd be making stuff up because I was aware of it. With my anorexia it started by my thoughts literally saying stuff like "I'm going to start controlling food because this makes me feel safer and I can feel like I'm being worthy" and it felt as if I was just making it up and it made me feel even shittier about myself. I hate it when people say "you're just making it up in your head" about mental illness because it puts all the blame and shame on you.
I had a therapist who minimized and even encouraged my binge eating disorder because I am “under weight” (have a lower BMI). I left her care but haven’t been the same since. That was last March.
Thank you! My therapist is trying to get me in to a eating disorder clinic, and i been thinking to say to her tomorrow that im not actually sick so i dont need to go. But maybe I am. This is helping me :) I will try my best to accept the offer
Kati, thanks for sharing this. I have struggled with anorexia (then bulimia) since the mid-90s (in recovery since 2009 after going ip/residential for a couple months), which, incidentally, was around the time I stumbled across an AOL Eating Disorder message board. It was exactly like what the ED communities on Tumblr are like, all the lingo they use today was used then. I'm saying this because I've seen my share of people online that found places online to feel less alone, even if they didn't have "clinical" anorexia or bulimia (most still identify as ed-nos). Their struggles, at least from reading online, seemed real enough, but I'm sure there was and is a fair share of people in those online communities that just want a place to feel accepted, so maybe they do "make up" some of their ed. One thing I have noticed, though, is that there are a lot of pro-recovery people out there, even if they aren't in recovery themselves...Okay, enough rambling, sorry for the long comment! Thanks again!
Yeah every so often I think I'm faking my issues but then later I think, why would anyone want to do the self-destructive things I do and be so unhappy? And that kinda brings it back into perspective.
Having an eating disorder is like having somebody constantly play mind games with you, and that somebody is yourself. For example; over the past few days at work I have had two different customers that come into my store fairly regularly comment on my weight loss and ask me if it was because I have been sick. One even told me that I looked like I had lost 20 lbs(I have). I simply told them that I have been very busy at work and haven't had a lot of time to eat. There is a small bit of Truth in that but the real truth is I have been choosing not to eat. I told my boyfriend about these comments and how strange it was that they were so close together and both people asked if I had been sick. He told me that I didn't look sick and that he thought I looked great. My heart broke into pieces and the internal mind games started. I started to think that I am making up my eating disorder and that the amount of weight that I lost (and continue to loose) needed to be lost. On the other end of it I was upset he didn't seem to know that my weight loss was very unhealthy.... But other people that I'm not nearly as close to can tell. And then I started to tell myself that a few months ago he must have thought that I was fat if right now I looked really good to him(I was a size 8 before I reallllly started dropping weight, will not say my size now because I don't want to give anyone "goals"). Either that or he prefers super skinny bodies to my previously slightly curvaceous body. Although logically, he is probably just trying to express he things I'm beautiful no matter what. But I was upset that he didn't think that I looked sick and it made me want "prove" that I was and continue to loose weight. I hate this. I feel like an awful person. I use his compliments to punish myself, and it is so unfair to him as well.
I'd love your perspective on overthinking and analyzing. Because let's say when you study the DSM or psychology you end up thinking you have everything in the book, mostly because you don't have the clinical judgment, no comparison to see what is actually disordered and what falls inside common behaviour even though it might still need addressing.
I used to believe I had made my eating disorder up. That things really weren't that bad. My childhood psychologist told me I was too big to have an eating disorder. That if I had one of have a swollen belly like starving African kids. I got very sick and almost died and it was only when I got a new therapist that told me Yes, it was valid, that I was able to seek help and get better. It still makes me angry that I left it go so long because one person said I wasn't sick. I lost so much in my life:(
I've realized that after I finally was able to stop self harming, my eating disorder got SO much worse and now it's one of the only things I think about. TW// I always had a bit of a disgusted fealing with myself when it comes to food and eating but I still ate even though sometimes it made me feel bad. It never got too bad except for that and once I stopped self harming it got super bad and I have a really hard time. I only eat one meal a day, sometimes less and I don't know how to make it better. I can't eat without feeling disgusting and wanting to hurt myself even more.
Thank you so much for posting this video. I have just started treatment for an eating disorder and I ask myself this question every single day. Whenever I'm not thinking about food, weight loss and struggling, I wonder whether it's even real and whether I have just made it up. And then I remember what it's doing and that I hate it, and I question it again. I realise sometimes I do things because I think I should - is that normal/common? E.g. going on a run because I feel guilty if I don't and I feel like my experience isn't valid enough if I don't. And yet other times, I really can't not and I hate that I do it but feel like I have to do it anyway. Thank you so much for posting this though. It's been really helpful and reassuring
Hi Kati, I love your videos 😊 I had been recovered from my ED for 5 years, then I started noticing old habits pick up during my pregnancy.. of course you can restrict etc during that time. So it’s been incredibly difficult after having my son. I feel like I’ll never really recover, and that I’ll never be truly healthy.
I spent the last years thinking I was faking my ED. When diagnosed with bulimia I still was shocked by my diagnosis, I never feel like my struggles are serious enough because I can eat something most of the time and I don't have the stereotypical "ED look" that you would see in movies about eating disorders. I have days where I am scared this will kill me and days when I think I made all my problems up. I just want to say, even when I think I'm just doing it for attention, I end up minimizing it so much and triggering myself so much that things actually get much worse and leave me with less strength to fight the Voice and i want to give up. Most of the times I still think "I should have got help when I was sick enough" but I'm glad I did. My loved ones are hurting, I am miserable, even tough sometimes I don't want to see it because I'd rather think I'm strong bc I'm not eating. Whatever the struggles you are having, I hope you will not wait and know you are valid and beautiful and you deserve all the help and attention in the world . The more you wait , the harder it gets to fight that stupid ED voice
I tend not to discuss my anxiety issues with many people. I did once with my best friends parents who I'm quite close too. They never said anything specific, but they gave me the impression I was exaggerating it. So I no longer discuss it with many people.
Another interesting topic I think also when you hide your depression or disorder and it comes up with others.. they usually say he or she are making it up or they are seeking attention or drama queen and they are considered when they are with that person... From personal experience awesome work as usual....
2:56, i officially dispute that. this thing about needing/wanting to be happy is so absurd to me. All i can say for myself is that with pride i do not seek happiness nor ever want to "achieve" that in my life, as long as there is just one person out there in this world who is suffering or not happy, i will refuse "happiness"; as long as there is someone out there who is sad, i will always actively choose to be sad also. I'm sad and there is no shame in that to me, i'm not out there "living my best life" but doing rather the opposite, and it arises in me no shame either. My ultimate goal would be some form of peaceful coexistence with myself, but not happiness, not at all, that is the one product i will never invest in.
I used to think I was making it up as a kid when I SH'ed.... which made me feel worse. Now the weight of what happened to me is finally settling in now that I'm finally far far away from it. I wasn't making it up I was telling myself it wasn't happening. I'm in a much better place now and have been for a few years.
I really wish Eugenia Cooney could see that she is numbing some underlying pain and hurt. After watching this I feel differently about her and why she may be still struggling so much😔
In my case I just suddenly felt pressured by relatives to look different from my twin sister who has always been overweight since we were little and i was always thin and hard to choose what to eat/hard to enjoy most food.I had gained weight and started to look more like her regarding weight. I knew restricting & throwing up were bad and I knew about eating disorders but I just wanted to try losing some weight and avoiding food until it was hard to stop. Im still struggling with gaining weight and eating enough,allmost 10 yrs later but I keep fighting. Thank you Kati. Un abrazo desde República Dominicana.
Hi Kati! I just discovered your channel, and I love everything about it! I have struggled for about a year with an ED. I was a dancer and I would compete my body with other people, and restrict my eating. Where I live we don’t have very many specialists:( I’m so sick of feeling guilty and gross every time I eat. What should I do?
Even if someone did origanally start, self-harming, or "making up" an eating disorder ect, for attention, chances are there is an underlying issue that they are not addressing. No matter what the senario is, if any of these behaviors are there it is a problem. At least that is my personal opinion, but I think many people agree. Btw love ur videos, they really help me, and many other people out there.
Not sure if you’ve seen but there’s an article going round related to ARFID, a child has gone blind and deaf due to living mainly on chips etc, could you go into ARFID more? I struggle with diet but I’m not sure if it’s ARFID or whether I’ve just learnt my parents diet
If people are hurting for attention... Maybe it's because they feel it's the only way to get help. So talk to them and let them know it's ok to talk to you. If it's happening, it's not made up. I promise you.
Kati I have a question... When does a weight loss journey cross the line to an eating disorder? I cried for 3 hours after binge eating sweet potato fries, 3 pieces of hot wings and a diet soda from McDonalds, with a bowl of chili nuts. My SO held me and tried to make me say that it was okay for me to eat. I'm worried that I won't be able to stop when I reach my goal, and I'm not even sure if I can stop anymore.
I once read a theory trying to explain a minority of anorexia cases in biological terms, like the theoretical description of a minority of depression cases coming from a genetic mutation that just means you don't get enough neurotransmitters, with no situational factor or psychological cause. The idea was that some factor like an illness or a diet causes someone to lose a chunk of weight, which activates an ancient mechanism for when stone age humans ran out of food in an area and had to move to a new area. The mechanism gives you urges to exercise and causes you to disregard small food sources along the way (which would delay you getting to where food sources are plentiful). The problem is, according to this theory, that in a minority of people, a genetic mutation is present that causes this mechanism to switch on easily but only switch off with great difficulty. First, this is an interesting idea, and second, it obviously doesn't describe all or even most cases. Most cases were "made up" in the sense that they didn't arise directly from biology.
Kati, I love and appreciate what you do, and don't have anything against giving money to the channel. But how is the video not monetizable if I still got an ad at the end of it? Or did you mean not as monetizable as other videos?
A lot of people who have an eating disorder and think they’re faking it feel like they aren’t “sick” enough to get help. Meaning they’re not underweight and they don’t look like they’re dying. This is something that I have struggled for years.
I agree like even when I tried to get help insurance told me I wasn’t sick enough for them to help
Marina Bundalo the system is so fucked up tbh
Ruby Nuñez omg i feel same... Lately i stopped tryimg to follow any diet and ive been binging much less, but i still generaly eat very un healty and much still. Now i just feel like im just lazy bastard, but all the way of thinking and diet hatimg behaviors are still there,,,,,, i feel like i dont deserve fysical treatment even tho i know it would help
Yes I am 29.5kg and that's "underweight" but I see fat
Sayori chan how old are you?
I'll be honest, I was really nervous to click on this one. It's one of those things that's always the back of my head because I don't "look" like I struggle with it. I know people that have had much more dramatic experiences through rehab, etc. But this made me feel better and valid with my personal recovery and not like I'm an attention grabbing liar.
Bunny Ann Same here. Trust me this was one of the worst fear i ever had.
Ikr? I haven't had an active ed for like at least a few years and now I'm like did that really happen,? Maybe I just made it up
I was nervous as well
Oh, YES ED"s are so competitive. I hate that!! Thank you, Kati
It's the worst!! So glad you liked the video :) xoxo
The way you use the phrases "we" "our". It's comforting to hear over "you"
THIS
That’s the point. That’s why she uses that language.
Kati, you're a light in this world. Thanks you so much
Awe xoxo
I'm so glad you did this video. This can apply to so many things that we do to cope that other people can see as "trying to get attention." Before I got to a healthier place, I did so many bad things to cope - drugs, alcohol, eating disorders and self-harm. No one wanted to hear why. It was always just "get over it" and "stop seeking attention". Thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting this message out. It needs to be heard.
I am so glad this was helpful!! And I agree.. there are so many misconceptions and so much stigma. Always happy to get the positive message out :) xoxo
@@Katimorton
Thank you for this. I always feel like I'm being "dramatic" about my ed.
I've been looking for someone who sees stuff from this perspective. I can't count how many times friends, family, others and even professionals told me I'm ' faking it' or 'attention seeking'. We need more Kati Mortons in this world 😂
I am so glad this video was just what you needed :) xoxo
Couldn't agree more!
Yo yo a PROFESSIONAL telling you you're faking it!?!?
@@moist_spinach They tend to do that in my health authority. Health vs mental helath is super misunderstood and most workers seem to believe if you don’t have an excess of blood coming out of you in unusual places, you’re fine 🙄
@@chihuahuabently95 😤smh
I was hanging out with teenagers and half of the girls were on some kind of a very restrictive diet and I totally get it. We are (especially women) constantly judged on our appearance and even pretending you have an eating disorder can make you look "cool" in the company of other girls who are restricting their calories.
Kati I absolutely love every one of your videos. As a teen who's spent the last year in an inpatient facility, I find your way of talking really soothing (?) in that you don't make everything super clinical and scary. The way you approach problems that tons of people have without harshness but with a huge amount of genuine understanding and compassion is sorta liberating because you're validating everything that people hate with regards to themselves. I started watching your videos a year ago, when I was hiding the fact that I was clinically depressed and self harming, and I still have the same comfort when I come onto your channel. Huge amount of gratefulness and support from over here. -Emily
ps my psychologist and psychiatrist both love you as well
Why aren’t this videos monetizable ? Really I have no idea
I have been told that eating disorders isn't a topic that monetizable because advertisers aren't comfortable with it.. :/
@@Katimorton :( on the one hand, I can see the point but also like people need to know this stuff
People could be really triggered by it, and viewers don’t wanna watch it, so advertisers don’t want to support triggering topics like this one 😊
@@Benni777 but they can put loads of money in abuse, drinking, anti smoking commercials? Okay lmao
At the very least these videos are educational and people can learn something and get the facts right ... as to me, I think it is way better to advertise this content rather than not making people aware about ed and letting them found out through places like proana and promia, as I sadly did back when I was starting highschool. Because of it I went through hell and back, thus I was so happy to find your channel years ago. You really helped a lot.
Idk why anyone would want to make up that they have an eating disorder... Like the f.... Having an ed is not fun nor cute and very stressful
Because they feel its the only way to get the attention and help they need
Agreed! xox
Sometimes people use a phrase like "making up an eating disorder" not because it's true, but because we don't have the words (or courage!) to express what we really mean.
For example, when I'm stressed, I have no appetite. Once when I was in a high stress time of my life, there were days I was only eating one meal a day... and that's because my family ate dinner together and I didn't want the attention not eating would bring. The difference was, I wasn't "locked in" to those behaviors like someone with an eating disorder. I could eat any time I wanted, I just lost the desire to for a while. (I was also dealing with anhedonia from depression.) From the outside, if you didn't know what was going on, you might think I was "making up an eating disorder," when in actuality, it was stress and anhedonia. But I didn't even KNOW the word anhedonia back then, and definately didn't have the courage and understanding to put my depression, anxiety, and stress into words.
I am ASHAMED of having an eating disorder and am mortified when people have found out and Most people with EDs are. I can’t imagine willingly telling someone about my condition.
Eating disorder can be very secret and you do your best to hide it. You can have it for 20 years and nobody will never notice/know.
1am yesterday after eating popcorn at with no care in the world, feeling great, theres no way I have an ED... *20 minutes later* feeling horrendous and convinced I had gained 20kg 😣 why would anyone choose to feel like this??!!
My point exactly.. and I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. xoxo I hope you are getting the support you need and deserve :) xoxo
Hugs!
I do this all the time. It's an obsession. You eat something then feel guilty that you did.
@@Broadysword that's how i felt with pizza i like couldn't stop when i ate fast then rushed to the bathroom
I literally JUST started therapy for my eating disorder and anxiety and just talked to my therapist about this 2 hours ago! Thank you for this video. Your channel is so valuable for those who can't afford therapy. I'm so upset that it can't be monetized. Thank you Kati for sharing these videos.
Yeah totally! Technically I "made up" my past self harm issues and ed issues! it started from somewhere. At first for me it was for attention! It then snowballed and became more of a secretive thing but either way whatever you're dealing with in whatever way, YOUR STRUGGLE IS VALID and you are an AMAZING human being that deserves help and love
Same. At first it was to get someone to talk to me or be there to help. But then it turned into something that became so uncontrollable that it’s turning into a life altering thing. Just because you needed help with another issue.
i don’t understand my e.d. anymore
Same
Kati you would make a podcast about all of this stuff!! it would be awesome to hear while flying, driving long distances, or even eating. keep it up 🥰
Thank u kati. I needed this the most. Me and my therapist was just talking about this yesterday. I am writing in my journal right now. It brought me to tears because everything you were talking about is what I went through as a kid. Really touched on some sensitive stuff. Thank u.
Awe I am so glad the video was helpful and what you needed to hear :) xoxo
@@Katimorton It really does help. I wish I could see u as my eating disorder therapist. You have helped me out so much with everything.
I don't have an eating disorder. But I relate to this so much...sometimes when I have a relapse with self-harm, I want someone to see it, mostly my therapist (not just a random friend of course). Recently, I have been a lot more isolated and refuse to tell anyone if I'm not doing well. I had therapy yesterday and I didn't even realize how much I was holding in. I also think that I'm making up this thing that happened when I was 5 and a boy who had serious issues "touched" me when I had very little communication skills due to my processing disorder. This stuff isn't easy. But we gotta remember that our pain is always valid and matter. And I also wish I could believe that myself :/
You Katie are so full of compassion and understanding, you heal with your heart, you may have no idea yet how much Good you are doing through this videos, God bless you.
This. This is perfect. I started SI when I was 13, and got shamed because everyone else told me I was only doing it for attention. That was honestly worse than the SI itself. It's validating to hear someone with sense on these issues.
Thank you, I’m so glad I found this video, I’m only 13 and this really helped me start to understand why I would self harm and sometimes would inconsistently starve myself and/or purge. I didn’t feel like I was doing it for any real reason besides attention and didn’t realize what a problem it was until recently. I’ve started talking to my parents about it, and I’ll be starting therapy soon, and I’m really glad I’m starting to find the reason why I do and feel these sort of things. Thank you so much Kati.
I truly and deeply, admire your kindness ❤️ You never shame and you’re always sooo gentle when talking about these things. Thank you for that 😊 I struggle a lot with the thoughts that I’m making this up, I’m not sick enough, thin enough and that I eat too much to have an ED....you soothe my mind and make some of these thoughts less troublesome ❤️❤️❤️
Like many other spaces, mental health is a space for imposter syndrome, and it is SO easy to talk yourself into a whole lot of invalidating thoughts. You are real. Your pain is real.
Instant subscribe, I had never thought about people doing things "for attention" in that way.
That need for attention or whatever it is, is itself an issue that needs to be addressed.
Really changed the way I think about a tons of people I've known who've I've thought of as attention seekers. Thanks.
Justus Attanasio Welcome to the Community!
I strongly agree with you. I have a friend who felt too skinny and was terrified of getting an eating disorder she told me and some one friends everyone thought she was doing it for attention. I never because I'll support my friends no matter what. So everyday I would give her money to get extra food from the shop. Extra lunch if I didnt want mine ect. And she now weighs a healthy amount and now I feel amazing that I helped someone. Always help someone in need it could pay off becuase you have the amazing feeling of when you help someone and you might have stopped an illness and even if they weren't gonna get one. It doesn't matter because that person should be forever grateful.
Verry nice! Ths
This was so damn needed. It’s the question that has been in my mind for ages, so thank you for making this much clearer
This was so important to me, this has always been my deep dark secret that I’ve carried with me for years - i invented my problems, I made them all up and I did this to myself. That I never even had an eating disorder in the first place.
I’ve never heard anyone talk about this feeling before, thank you so much Kati, words can’t describe how much clarity you have given me, and I’m sure, many others.
Thank you for being here x
Ali as ❤️
ED videos aren’t monitisable?! That’s ridiculous. Thank you for still making them, Kati.
I often feel like I’m not ill enough and don’t deserve the treatment I’m getting because there are other people out there who need it more than me. Even though my bmi is “severely low” and it’s effecting my everyday life, I feel like I’m robbing other patients of time with the specialists, and because I’m not ready to change, I feel like I’m wasting their time.
It is super annoying, but I will keep talking about them anyways :) Sounds like your struggle is more about self worth and knowing that you are worthy of care and support. Maybe bring that up in therapy and see if that helps you move past this tough patch. xoxo
Kati Morton thank you so much. Your channel and your insight means the absolute world to me xoxo
Lauran220193 yet unhealthy muk bangs by the obese are. Ridiculous!
Strawberry Cat right?! How dare people upload helpful, educational content 🙄
I definitely think it's possible, Kati. Back in 2016, my eating disorder was slowly pulling me away from this world. I was about 615 lbs, and really didn't care about much at all. Today, I've dropped about 150 lbs (but still need to loose much more). I'm not an analyst or anything, but I believe my problems have to do with feelings of rejection. As long as I can remember, I have had a very difficult time fitting in with people (no matter how hard I tried). In fact, I think sometimes I would even try too hard, and make myself look like an ass. This would then cause me to feel shame and embarrassment, which would lead to overeating. I still have these emotional issues, but instead of eating, I like to write. When I write, my inner therapist comes out, and helps me problem solve my emotions. Sometimes just a little meditation is also very helpful. Thank You for the thoughtful video.
I appreciate that you don't mention ED as just or only for weight loss: for me, it was a method of control and self-harm without showing scars (because I have MDD, GAD, and PTSD from sexual trauma). Every person's story is different regardless of the reason or cause, your story is valid
I have BED and my weight is humiliating. I'm trying to take better care of myself like exercise, sleep well, and find a way to manage my emotions without food. That coping mechanism is almost impossible to break. It's embarassing, stressful, and life-altering. I feel ashamed of myself. I feel out of control. I feel like I don't have a future. I feel like success is for "better" people. These and so many other feelings are things that I'm trying desperately to halt and change.
Kati, I LOVE this video!! SO MUCH!! I’m starting to see an eating disorder specialist soon and I’m glad I’m taking this step. But I feel really validated when you mentioned that if you do something for attention it’s because your hurting. I don’t have my eating disorder for attention, but I did at first start cutting for attention. Near the end I wasn’t cutting for attention anymore and was hiding it. But that’s besides the point, because I’m recovered from self injury!
This thought has crossed my mind after moments of self harming. For some reason i doubted my own emotional pain because I didn't cause enough physical pain... it would make me angry, feel weak, but then embarrassed because I wondered if I was lying to myself. I don't know if that makes any sense but... thanks for touching on the topic.
I’m not sure I’ve ever commented on a video but I just have to say thank you Katie! Thank you for pouring the effort into producing these videos. For taking your time and talent to help others! You’re videos have helped me so much and have helped others around me! Thank you thank you!! Your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed
Emily Schneider Welcome to the Community!
I needed this video. Thank you, the world needs more people like you. I seriously wish I had a therapist like you.
This was very helpful. Ive started stuggling with an ED and part of me is saying "Omg just eat, you know you can your just attention seeking" and the other part of me feels aweful to eat and when I do I cry and feel overwelmed to have it in my body so I try and throw up or work it off
This was very validating thank you. My parents have always been the type to say "you're being dramatic, you're fine" and it rubbed off on me. I constantly brush off my own issues, physical or mental, because I think it's nothing and I'm just being a baby. This helped remind me my pain is real no matter why I feel it.
Thank you so much for saying this. I have been struggling with thoughts and similar for most of what I remember from my life. I'm turning 33 soon and I have a horrible memory so I don't remember much from my childhood but from what I DO remember i know I kept thinking to myself many times that maybe my selfharm was just me being an "attentionwh--" or whatever. As well as "my situation isnt even that bad GET OVER IT" ...and in some way I think i'm still struggling with that last part. But, hearing you (and many others who comment on these videos) say these things and spell them out are always encouraging and comforting. Thank you.
Wow... I really needed this... I'm struggling so much of the time and my negative brain makes me feel so guilty about everything and like what I feel is all bullshit... And it constantly tells me I'm not doing enough...
Thanks for talking about this and in a compassionate way. This is a question that some of us are even afraid to ask out loud 💜
Thank you for coming at this topic a little different , that’s a huge help to me and trying to help someone / people that are not really getting it and as it’s so helpful when talking someone that’s really struggling with Ed . Thank you so much for all that you do and continue to do !!
Sometimes I thought I was faking, but I kept it all to myself and HATE reaching out... but I feel like facing what's going one helps you know if you're faking or not. Then you accept it. Then you fix it.
ED ARE SO COMPETITIVE!!! i remember one time a while ago my friend was talking about how she didnt eat for 3 days, and my brain overtime has taken that for "not eating for 3 days is normal". shes doing better now, but i still find myself trying to compete with her for how long i can go without food
Thank you for your videos! You have helped destigmatize therapy for me and now I'm getting the help I need. Thanks a million!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video, Kati! I've been struggling with bulimia for the past 5 years and it's a neverending nightmare, I also had to be hospitalized when the situation got so bad I couldn't cope any longer. And no - ED fighters are not making it up in any way, it's not fun at all and it makes you feel terribly guilty for not being able to heal. I wish people thinking we're faking it could spend a week in our shoes and see...
THANK YOU KATI!!! the title of the video caught my attention. You are a true light in this world!
I notice that when I’m on the uprise from a depressive episode that I tend to indulge in more eating disorder-like tendencies and tell myself it’s “because I’m getting control of my life back”. This video made me feel so much better. No I wouldn’t consider myself anorexic but acting in such a way does get people asking me if I’m okay. And I’m too afraid to tell someone I’m not okay and want them to see it.
Could you talk about something like becoming more independent when affected by Dependent personality disorder or something like that? I love you and your videos! Good luck with your crazy month!!
This was an amazing video. Thank you for the upload and thank you for saying this. I know you didn't make this for ME but it hit home.
Even after being in ediop treatment for over a year and being sent to residential for a month, i still often think I'm making everything up
Lauren Allison That might be depersonalization.
@@foxiefair123 what's that
As self-harm and eating disorders are easier notice than internal, mental disorder, people sometimes use these things as a cry for help. Personally when I’m unwell mentally, I may eat usually.
This set up, you sitting and the camera pushed in, feels a lot more engaging. Your talking style didn't change, but I stuck thru the whole video this time. This was such a great "session." Idk, would love a therapist like you. This was a great way to put the complex ideas around the implications of making things up.
Somehow your video's always come at the right time for me! Like when I was thinking about how my treatment wasn't helping, did I give it enhoug time?? BAM video about that. And thanks for this video keep doing what you do! You're doing an amazing job
Could you film a video explaining your experiences working at an eating disorder inpatient as well as what to expect. Kinda like a day in the life and answer maybe like myths about inpatient units? By the way I love your educational videos😁
Ugh can so relate to the "am I making this up?" Thoughts.... Or the I'm just broken, it's just me, this situation wouldn't traumatize anyone else, it's just me being less than narrative.... About 2 years, an amazing councilor, and bit of trauma/EMDR therapy later and finally starting to let myself just acknowledge my hurts and work at healing them instead of minimizing them or coming up with reasons of why I shouldn't be hurt to begin with (not helpful lol). It takes one piece of the messy icky negative thoughts out of my head that I don't have to manage anymore, and every little bit helps! :)
This is true, I'm 29.5kg and I feel no where near sick. I've been hiding it for so long I'm to scared to talk to anyone. My physicist doesn't even know. My parent's fight and I don't know my dad he does drugs and my mom smokes.
Kati Morton can get it any day of the week. On a more serious note I think people can do things for attention but what we shouldn’t do is tell people that they are faking if they claim they aren’t.
There’s no way for you to determine whether or not someone who claims to be depressed is actually depressed so we should just assume that they are telling the truth. Because if we mistakingly tell someone who’s actually depressed that they are faking it can cause harm to them and they won’t get help.
Thank you for this video. I've had my ED for 25 years. I've been struggling with feeling like I don't have an ED anymore because I am pretty much almost weight restored, not because I've been recovering, just because my behaviors no longer work like they once did. I still have all of my behaviors, but I have gained weight so I don't feel like I should have the label (because I feel not sick enough), even though every single day is either restriction or restriction combined with purging. I'm ashamed. I have no goals so I quit therapy a year and a half ago and I want to go back, but I don't feel like I'm worth my therapist's time. I know my ED is a coping skill from being abused, but I sometimes think it wasn't that bad so maybe I'm just imagining that, too.
Thank you for making this video and i’m glad i came across this. Needed to hear this at the right time.
I liked this video. Good topic.
Question: Is it possible to diet in a normal way after an eating disorder?
I have over a decade history of Anorexia. I want/need to lose weight to get to a healthy weight now after 2 years "recovered", but my brain immediately wants to go to ED behaviors when I try.
berf Kati answers a similar question in one of her FAQ videos!
ua-cam.com/video/Cqv24LOXtlw/v-deo.html
amazing video as always! you always explain topics in terms everyone can understand and offer so much insight!
For me, my brain works differently because I have more subconscious things happen in my conscious awareness than others, so i would get thoughts that would usually work behind the scenes when developing mental illnesses, and it would feel like I'd be making stuff up because I was aware of it. With my anorexia it started by my thoughts literally saying stuff like "I'm going to start controlling food because this makes me feel safer and I can feel like I'm being worthy" and it felt as if I was just making it up and it made me feel even shittier about myself. I hate it when people say "you're just making it up in your head" about mental illness because it puts all the blame and shame on you.
I had a therapist who minimized and even encouraged my binge eating disorder because I am “under weight” (have a lower BMI). I left her care but haven’t been the same since. That was last March.
Thank you! My therapist is trying to get me in to a eating disorder clinic, and i been thinking to say to her tomorrow that im not actually sick so i dont need to go. But maybe I am. This is helping me :) I will try my best to accept the offer
You are so thoughtful and kind. Thank you.
I’ll never understand why youtube doesn’t think mental health awareness videos, such as one about EDs, should be monetized :/
Thanks, my family thinks I have an eating disorder, but I don’t think I do. I will definitely be subscribing!
Kati, thanks for sharing this. I have struggled with anorexia (then bulimia) since the mid-90s (in recovery since 2009 after going ip/residential for a couple months), which, incidentally, was around the time I stumbled across an AOL Eating Disorder message board. It was exactly like what the ED communities on Tumblr are like, all the lingo they use today was used then. I'm saying this because I've seen my share of people online that found places online to feel less alone, even if they didn't have "clinical" anorexia or bulimia (most still identify as ed-nos). Their struggles, at least from reading online, seemed real enough, but I'm sure there was and is a fair share of people in those online communities that just want a place to feel accepted, so maybe they do "make up" some of their ed. One thing I have noticed, though, is that there are a lot of pro-recovery people out there, even if they aren't in recovery themselves...Okay, enough rambling, sorry for the long comment! Thanks again!
Yeah every so often I think I'm faking my issues but then later I think, why would anyone want to do the self-destructive things I do and be so unhappy? And that kinda brings it back into perspective.
Having an eating disorder is like having somebody constantly play mind games with you, and that somebody is yourself. For example; over the past few days at work I have had two different customers that come into my store fairly regularly comment on my weight loss and ask me if it was because I have been sick. One even told me that I looked like I had lost 20 lbs(I have). I simply told them that I have been very busy at work and haven't had a lot of time to eat. There is a small bit of Truth in that but the real truth is I have been choosing not to eat. I told my boyfriend about these comments and how strange it was that they were so close together and both people asked if I had been sick. He told me that I didn't look sick and that he thought I looked great. My heart broke into pieces and the internal mind games started. I started to think that I am making up my eating disorder and that the amount of weight that I lost (and continue to loose) needed to be lost. On the other end of it I was upset he didn't seem to know that my weight loss was very unhealthy.... But other people that I'm not nearly as close to can tell. And then I started to tell myself that a few months ago he must have thought that I was fat if right now I looked really good to him(I was a size 8 before I reallllly started dropping weight, will not say my size now because I don't want to give anyone "goals"). Either that or he prefers super skinny bodies to my previously slightly curvaceous body. Although logically, he is probably just trying to express he things I'm beautiful no matter what. But I was upset that he didn't think that I looked sick and it made me want "prove" that I was and continue to loose weight. I hate this. I feel like an awful person. I use his compliments to punish myself, and it is so unfair to him as well.
I'd love your perspective on overthinking and analyzing. Because let's say when you study the DSM or psychology you end up thinking you have everything in the book, mostly because you don't have the clinical judgment, no comparison to see what is actually disordered and what falls inside common behaviour even though it might still need addressing.
I used to believe I had made my eating disorder up. That things really weren't that bad. My childhood psychologist told me I was too big to have an eating disorder. That if I had one of have a swollen belly like starving African kids.
I got very sick and almost died and it was only when I got a new therapist that told me Yes, it was valid, that I was able to seek help and get better.
It still makes me angry that I left it go so long because one person said I wasn't sick. I lost so much in my life:(
I've realized that after I finally was able to stop self harming, my eating disorder got SO much worse and now it's one of the only things I think about. TW// I always had a bit of a disgusted fealing with myself when it comes to food and eating but I still ate even though sometimes it made me feel bad. It never got too bad except for that and once I stopped self harming it got super bad and I have a really hard time. I only eat one meal a day, sometimes less and I don't know how to make it better. I can't eat without feeling disgusting and wanting to hurt myself even more.
Thank you so much for posting this video. I have just started treatment for an eating disorder and I ask myself this question every single day. Whenever I'm not thinking about food, weight loss and struggling, I wonder whether it's even real and whether I have just made it up. And then I remember what it's doing and that I hate it, and I question it again. I realise sometimes I do things because I think I should - is that normal/common? E.g. going on a run because I feel guilty if I don't and I feel like my experience isn't valid enough if I don't. And yet other times, I really can't not and I hate that I do it but feel like I have to do it anyway. Thank you so much for posting this though. It's been really helpful and reassuring
Hi Kati, I love your videos 😊
I had been recovered from my ED for 5 years, then I started noticing old habits pick up during my pregnancy.. of course you can restrict etc during that time. So it’s been incredibly difficult after having my son. I feel like I’ll never really recover, and that I’ll never be truly healthy.
I spent the last years thinking I was faking my ED. When diagnosed with bulimia I still was shocked by my diagnosis, I never feel like my struggles are serious enough because I can eat something most of the time and I don't have the stereotypical "ED look" that you would see in movies about eating disorders. I have days where I am scared this will kill me and days when I think I made all my problems up. I just want to say, even when I think I'm just doing it for attention, I end up minimizing it so much and triggering myself so much that things actually get much worse and leave me with less strength to fight the Voice and i want to give up. Most of the times I still think "I should have got help when I was sick enough" but I'm glad I did. My loved ones are hurting, I am miserable, even tough sometimes I don't want to see it because I'd rather think I'm strong bc I'm not eating. Whatever the struggles you are having, I hope you will not wait and know you are valid and beautiful and you deserve all the help and attention in the world . The more you wait , the harder it gets to fight that stupid ED voice
I tend not to discuss my anxiety issues with many people. I did once with my best friends parents who I'm quite close too. They never said anything specific, but they gave me the impression I was exaggerating it. So I no longer discuss it with many people.
Another interesting topic I think also when you hide your depression or disorder and it comes up with others.. they usually say he or she are making it up or they are seeking attention or drama queen and they are considered when they are with that person... From personal experience awesome work as usual....
2:56, i officially dispute that. this thing about needing/wanting to be happy is so absurd to me. All i can say for myself is that with pride i do not seek happiness nor ever want to "achieve" that in my life, as long as there is just one person out there in this world who is suffering or not happy, i will refuse "happiness"; as long as there is someone out there who is sad, i will always actively choose to be sad also. I'm sad and there is no shame in that to me, i'm not out there "living my best life" but doing rather the opposite, and it arises in me no shame either. My ultimate goal would be some form of peaceful coexistence with myself, but not happiness, not at all, that is the one product i will never invest in.
I used to think I was making it up as a kid when I SH'ed.... which made me feel worse. Now the weight of what happened to me is finally settling in now that I'm finally far far away from it. I wasn't making it up I was telling myself it wasn't happening. I'm in a much better place now and have been for a few years.
Kind of a hard video for me to follow with the Yes and No, back and forth. That said I do love all that you have given to the Kinion community.
I really wish Eugenia Cooney could see that she is numbing some underlying pain and hurt. After watching this I feel differently about her and why she may be still struggling so much😔
Kati, thank you for all that you do!! ❤️ I love that I always learn a lot when I watch your videos
In my case I just suddenly felt pressured by relatives to look different from my twin sister who has always been overweight since we were little and i was always thin and hard to choose what to eat/hard to enjoy most food.I had gained weight and started to look more like her regarding weight.
I knew restricting & throwing up were bad and I knew about eating disorders but I just wanted to try losing some weight and avoiding food until it was hard to stop.
Im still struggling with gaining weight and eating enough,allmost 10 yrs later but I keep fighting.
Thank you Kati. Un abrazo desde República Dominicana.
Thanks for understanding me your the only one who understand me thanks for everything
Hi Kati! I just discovered your channel, and I love everything about it! I have struggled for about a year with an ED. I was a dancer and I would compete my body with other people, and restrict my eating. Where I live we don’t have very many specialists:( I’m so sick of feeling guilty and gross every time I eat. What should I do?
Thank you, I really needed to hear this
I really love the way you filmed this video. The background and colours are so pretty
Even if someone did origanally start, self-harming, or "making up" an eating disorder ect, for attention, chances are there is an underlying issue that they are not addressing. No matter what the senario is, if any of these behaviors are there it is a problem. At least that is my personal opinion, but I think many people agree. Btw love ur videos, they really help me, and many other people out there.
Thank you, Kati. I needed this reassurance.
Not sure if you’ve seen but there’s an article going round related to ARFID, a child has gone blind and deaf due to living mainly on chips etc, could you go into ARFID more? I struggle with diet but I’m not sure if it’s ARFID or whether I’ve just learnt my parents diet
Oh, it helps to know that other people worry "Could I have made this up? Am I less legit or 'faking'?" I feel this all the time.
If people are hurting for attention...
Maybe it's because they feel it's the only way to get help.
So talk to them and let them know it's ok to talk to you.
If it's happening, it's not made up. I promise you.
Thank you Kati. This is incredibly important.
Kati I have a question... When does a weight loss journey cross the line to an eating disorder? I cried for 3 hours after binge eating sweet potato fries, 3 pieces of hot wings and a diet soda from McDonalds, with a bowl of chili nuts. My SO held me and tried to make me say that it was okay for me to eat. I'm worried that I won't be able to stop when I reach my goal, and I'm not even sure if I can stop anymore.
I once read a theory trying to explain a minority of anorexia cases in biological terms, like the theoretical description of a minority of depression cases coming from a genetic mutation that just means you don't get enough neurotransmitters, with no situational factor or psychological cause. The idea was that some factor like an illness or a diet causes someone to lose a chunk of weight, which activates an ancient mechanism for when stone age humans ran out of food in an area and had to move to a new area. The mechanism gives you urges to exercise and causes you to disregard small food sources along the way (which would delay you getting to where food sources are plentiful). The problem is, according to this theory, that in a minority of people, a genetic mutation is present that causes this mechanism to switch on easily but only switch off with great difficulty.
First, this is an interesting idea, and second, it obviously doesn't describe all or even most cases. Most cases were "made up" in the sense that they didn't arise directly from biology.
Thank you. I'm feeling all these right now.
Kati, I love and appreciate what you do, and don't have anything against giving money to the channel. But how is the video not monetizable if I still got an ad at the end of it? Or did you mean not as monetizable as other videos?
the fact that i got a dieting ad before this video