I started watching your channel when my baby was put into foster care. Four years ago. Right around the same time, Miss A came to stay with you. I am so proud to be announcing that today, August 1st, 2024, the trial return home starts today. Our case closes out ON MY BIRTHDAY. You were so helpful and insightful in the last few years. You helped ease some of the anxiety I have about foster care. Thank you so much 💖
Congratulations on that progress and for sticking with it!! If you are open to sharing your story and experience, reach out to me on Instagram through direct message. I'd love to amplify the voice of primary family when I can
That’s amazing! I know it must’ve taken you so much work to make that happen. I hope you’re proud of yourself for sticking with it. May the road ahead be peaceful and prosperous for you and your kiddo.
I appreciate you sharing about your divorce. You of course have every right to privacy but I would like to think people were asking mostly because they care about you and want to support you through a difficult time. Life changes are always difficult to navigate, add kids and fosters into the mix and I am sure there were days that felt impossible, I am happy you are still here advocating and educating.
I'm a former foster youth, not parent, but on the bed-time/waking up question, I was very used to sleeping with the tv on and falling asleep watching tv. What I remember the most about my 1st couple foster homes was just lying in bed, unable to sleep. A lot of my experience in foster care was ridiculously early bedtimes and just spending hours upon hours bored out of my mind staring up at the ceiling. I know a lot of foster parents are very anti-screens, but a lot of kids coming into care are very used to falling asleep with tv or other screen on and it's very difficult to break that habit for older kids. It just becomes the way you sleep. I still do it as an adult. I think some foster parents (especially who don't have biokids) feel they need to follow all the guidelines or rules and some ideal bedtime routine with no screens but they're dealing with kids who have come from backgrounds that are so different they might as well be from a different planet.
I had assumed that you and J had split and didn't think it was information I needed to know. That said, it is important for teen girls to see positive, strong females in their lives who are doing the single parent thing - so kudos to you for opening your home to these placements. I especially love that you're available for LGBTQIA placements, as these youth are often kicked out of the family homes when they come out. I think I shared with you that FosterHub just purchased their first building in Logan, Ohio for the express purpose of providing housing to youth aging out of foster care. They'll also have facilties to teach these youth culinary skills and how to run a coffee shop. The founder of this charitable organization was a youth in the foster care system in Ohio and formed the 501(3)C to ensure foster kids have the support they need as they move out on their own.
I like “Be the Village” because while you are the center of the platform, it has always felt to me an avenue for you to share what you’ve learned and create a community that can bounce ideas off of each other. I appreciate how much of your life you have shared but do not feel entitled to it. I am finally finding stability in my life and hope next year to start fostering and know that I will be better prepared for that because of my years of following and learning from you!
I appreciate how you navigate sharing your life and providing content that is making an impact so many. Since you mentioned you'll be making a video about the logistics of divorce and fostering, if you feel inclined, I'd be very interested to hear your opinion on how fostering affects a marriage and advice on how to be proactive to avoid it becoming a factor in marital issues. I'm not assuming it was a factor in your separation, but I think since you have now experienced caring for children in foster care both as a married couple and as a single woman, you may be able to provide some insight on situations prospective foster parents who are married should consider before starting. I am very interested in becoming a foster parent, but this is the one area that gives me the most pause.
Valid questions! I'll be sure to address these more in the video but here's a tidbit in the mean time. Something like fostering will add a stress, just like anything else... example: parenting, finances, job, etc. And if a partnership is strong and both parties are exhibiting and practicing healthy coping skills and communication then a couple could navigate through it in a solid way. However, when there are underlying issues, stressors seem to exemplify relationship issues (in my experience and observation). Said another way, if there is a crack in the foundation then stressors will make that crack larger. Also, we do our best with information we have at the time of decisions (like becoming a foster caregiver) and as new information is revealed then we adapt. It's the best we can do. We won't always have the answers or the foresight... it would be nice if we did but not as fun of a journey :) Hope this helps!
How does emergency medication storage work? Like EpiPens and rescue inhalers. I can't imagine it would be safe to lock those up, especially if it's an older kid who may be home alone and therefore might need to access it without an adult there to open the lock box. Or things like a diabetes test kit.
I came to your Channel thru the Reselling community many years ago. I have been out of the loop about the past 2 years for personal reasons on that end. I hope most things went amicably for you, the kids, and John. Lives and paths can change to not match your “lifelong buddy”. It can be very sad but also a positive depending on the circumstances. Whatever the reason, I hope all of you continue to move forward in a positive way. ✌️
I've been here since just before Miss A got placed with you and am so glad that you continue to share your journey and educate the community:) I hope you feel well supported by your community/village in the midst of all the changes and transitions you have been navigating the past couple of years! & I agree with many other commenters that a video on your perspective about fostering-related media would be really interesting! maybe if Miss A wanted to share her opinions too?:)
The medication thing sounds super annoying, I understand if a risk is identified, but seems a little silly otherwise. Being outside of the US would be interested understanding in the rules around things like guns, tools, swimming pools.
It's just a blanket safety rule. Age groups can be more likely to get into medicine so as a blanket rule they get locked up. Sawyer is 5yo another small child could get placed who'd possibly think its candy. There's also a risk of suicide, stealing and selling meds. Overall it's just a good rule. All dangers need locked up. My friend had a Saber sword that was for display, it had to be properly mounted and checked for safety.
I love and appreciate that you have such a heart for fostering/mentoring teen girls! I work with delinquent teens with past trauma and a couple ladies I work with are also excellent with the girls (I’ve always found them tougher than the boys to bond with and mentor). Thank you for being so dedicated to these girls and providing them with a safe and welcoming home!
Been a subscriber for years. I love how you always keep it real, but hold the things that you need to close. Hoping for peace, love and fun for you guys.
There are less foster homes who are inclusive and support LGBTQ+ youth. I am one of them. Also, I am bisexual and my family represents other parts of the community so I’ve been able to educate myself about things that others may not have.
I’m glad you saw my question and intend to address it in a second video, not for myself as im Australian and not licensed to foster, but because i thought it would be good information for people to know if they find themselves in a similar situation.
Do what I can to facilitate healing with the family. If that were to come up, and it has never for me, there’s probably some underlying fears or hurt that haven’t been addressed.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity thanks for that answer. i have a student in my care where i work that is in the system so your video's help me to see their side so i can work more better with them to feel loved and cared for.
I agree, and I wonder what the system would look like if we had this same mindset during removal 🤔 not when there is an immediate safety risk, but for things like homelessness perhaps. That could open up some convos.
I’d definitely be interested to hear if there are any movies that are accurate at all. I’ve never seen or heard of any documentaries on fostering so I’d love to know what’s out there.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity I’ve seen the movie and though I didn’t know much about fostering at the time it did seem kinda off to me. I loved the Fosters! I may do a rewatch of that actually. I’ve never heard of the documentary so I’ll check it out for sure!
I started watching your channel when my baby was put into foster care. Four years ago. Right around the same time, Miss A came to stay with you. I am so proud to be announcing that today, August 1st, 2024, the trial return home starts today. Our case closes out ON MY BIRTHDAY. You were so helpful and insightful in the last few years. You helped ease some of the anxiety I have about foster care. Thank you so much 💖
Congratulations on that progress and for sticking with it!! If you are open to sharing your story and experience, reach out to me on Instagram through direct message. I'd love to amplify the voice of primary family when I can
That’s amazing! I know it must’ve taken you so much work to make that happen. I hope you’re proud of yourself for sticking with it. May the road ahead be peaceful and prosperous for you and your kiddo.
Congratulations momma! What a long journey you have been on and so much work you have put in! Sending good luck and good vibes to you and your kiddo!
So happy for you!!!! 🎉
Yes! Congratulations I’m so happy for you
I appreciate you sharing about your divorce. You of course have every right to privacy but I would like to think people were asking mostly because they care about you and want to support you through a difficult time. Life changes are always difficult to navigate, add kids and fosters into the mix and I am sure there were days that felt impossible, I am happy you are still here advocating and educating.
I'm a former foster youth, not parent, but on the bed-time/waking up question, I was very used to sleeping with the tv on and falling asleep watching tv. What I remember the most about my 1st couple foster homes was just lying in bed, unable to sleep. A lot of my experience in foster care was ridiculously early bedtimes and just spending hours upon hours bored out of my mind staring up at the ceiling. I know a lot of foster parents are very anti-screens, but a lot of kids coming into care are very used to falling asleep with tv or other screen on and it's very difficult to break that habit for older kids. It just becomes the way you sleep. I still do it as an adult. I think some foster parents (especially who don't have biokids) feel they need to follow all the guidelines or rules and some ideal bedtime routine with no screens but they're dealing with kids who have come from backgrounds that are so different they might as well be from a different planet.
Thank you for sharing this, I hadn’t thought about that perspective and it is so valuable 🫶🏻
I had assumed that you and J had split and didn't think it was information I needed to know. That said, it is important for teen girls to see positive, strong females in their lives who are doing the single parent thing - so kudos to you for opening your home to these placements. I especially love that you're available for LGBTQIA placements, as these youth are often kicked out of the family homes when they come out.
I think I shared with you that FosterHub just purchased their first building in Logan, Ohio for the express purpose of providing housing to youth aging out of foster care. They'll also have facilties to teach these youth culinary skills and how to run a coffee shop. The founder of this charitable organization was a youth in the foster care system in Ohio and formed the 501(3)C to ensure foster kids have the support they need as they move out on their own.
I like “Be the Village” because while you are the center of the platform, it has always felt to me an avenue for you to share what you’ve learned and create a community that can bounce ideas off of each other. I appreciate how much of your life you have shared but do not feel entitled to it. I am finally finding stability in my life and hope next year to start fostering and know that I will be better prepared for that because of my years of following and learning from you!
Appreciate the kind words and wish you the best as you move into that next chapter and take the leap into fostering when you are ready!
I appreciate how you navigate sharing your life and providing content that is making an impact so many. Since you mentioned you'll be making a video about the logistics of divorce and fostering, if you feel inclined, I'd be very interested to hear your opinion on how fostering affects a marriage and advice on how to be proactive to avoid it becoming a factor in marital issues. I'm not assuming it was a factor in your separation, but I think since you have now experienced caring for children in foster care both as a married couple and as a single woman, you may be able to provide some insight on situations prospective foster parents who are married should consider before starting. I am very interested in becoming a foster parent, but this is the one area that gives me the most pause.
Valid questions! I'll be sure to address these more in the video but here's a tidbit in the mean time. Something like fostering will add a stress, just like anything else... example: parenting, finances, job, etc. And if a partnership is strong and both parties are exhibiting and practicing healthy coping skills and communication then a couple could navigate through it in a solid way. However, when there are underlying issues, stressors seem to exemplify relationship issues (in my experience and observation). Said another way, if there is a crack in the foundation then stressors will make that crack larger. Also, we do our best with information we have at the time of decisions (like becoming a foster caregiver) and as new information is revealed then we adapt. It's the best we can do. We won't always have the answers or the foresight... it would be nice if we did but not as fun of a journey :) Hope this helps!
yes please rate any movies or documentaries! i always wonder how accurate things are
Thanks for the feedback!
How does emergency medication storage work? Like EpiPens and rescue inhalers. I can't imagine it would be safe to lock those up, especially if it's an older kid who may be home alone and therefore might need to access it without an adult there to open the lock box. Or things like a diabetes test kit.
I came to your Channel thru the Reselling community many years ago. I have been out of the loop about the past 2 years for personal reasons on that end.
I hope most things went amicably for you, the kids, and John.
Lives and paths can change to not match your “lifelong buddy”. It can be very sad but also a positive depending on the circumstances.
Whatever the reason, I hope all of you continue to move forward in a positive way. ✌️
I've been here since just before Miss A got placed with you and am so glad that you continue to share your journey and educate the community:)
I hope you feel well supported by your community/village in the midst of all the changes and transitions you have been navigating the past couple of years!
& I agree with many other commenters that a video on your perspective about fostering-related media would be really interesting! maybe if Miss A wanted to share her opinions too?:)
Thank you for sharing not only about foster care but your personal life as well. You are doing an amazing job educating the public about foster care.
Thank you for sharing your tattoos. I have always been fascinated by your half sleeve. Love it.
You are so welcome!
I’m sorry to hear about the divorce. I hope things are good and your kids have an relationship with their dad.
Wasn’t your first placement unable to be reunited with her parents?
Wasn’t your first placement unable to be reunited with her parents?
The medication thing sounds super annoying, I understand if a risk is identified, but seems a little silly otherwise. Being outside of the US would be interested understanding in the rules around things like guns, tools, swimming pools.
It's just a blanket safety rule. Age groups can be more likely to get into medicine so as a blanket rule they get locked up. Sawyer is 5yo another small child could get placed who'd possibly think its candy. There's also a risk of suicide, stealing and selling meds. Overall it's just a good rule. All dangers need locked up. My friend had a Saber sword that was for display, it had to be properly mounted and checked for safety.
I’m interested to hear how divorce impacts your license, fostering etc
I love and appreciate that you have such a heart for fostering/mentoring teen girls! I work with delinquent teens with past trauma and a couple ladies I work with are also excellent with the girls (I’ve always found them tougher than the boys to bond with and mentor). Thank you for being so dedicated to these girls and providing them with a safe and welcoming home!
Been a subscriber for years. I love how you always keep it real, but hold the things that you need to close. Hoping for peace, love and fun for you guys.
Also, will you ever tell us what happened to the B siblings? No pressure!
I think they were moved to a different foster family because there were problems with them being put on social media
@@laraland9963 I know but she said that when she is ready, she’ll tell us what happened.
Do you think the stress from fostering caused a breakdown ion your marriage? How would you have navigated it differently?
You express feeling able to mentor teen girls but I’m curious if there’s any reason you feel able to or are open to lgbt teens?
There are less foster homes who are inclusive and support LGBTQ+ youth. I am one of them. Also, I am bisexual and my family represents other parts of the community so I’ve been able to educate myself about things that others may not have.
Love your take on everything…great video! You’re awesome
Thank you for providing valuable information about foster care. There is a lot of misinformation out there in the world
I’m glad you saw my question and intend to address it in a second video, not for myself as im Australian and not licensed to foster, but because i thought it would be good information for people to know if they find themselves in a similar situation.
Yes please I would love a video of you reviewing or rating foster care related media!
Do you plan on adopting miss A?
🫶🏼
Yes on setting expectations! We were told that until the judge rules one way or another, anything can change.
Would love to see a video on your take on instant family
If you do a documentary/ film review, can you talk about you opinion on The Fosters (if you watched it) thanks
She talked about this in a video a couple years ago actually.
what if a child goes back to their family but then decides they want to be with yall instead what would you do
Do what I can to facilitate healing with the family. If that were to come up, and it has never for me, there’s probably some underlying fears or hurt that haven’t been addressed.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity thanks for that answer. i have a student in my care where i work that is in the system so your video's help me to see their side so i can work more better with them to feel loved and cared for.
7:31 in regards to family… yes! But transition plans need to be made and appropriate. No just ripping a child from a home after 2 years
I agree, and I wonder what the system would look like if we had this same mindset during removal 🤔 not when there is an immediate safety risk, but for things like homelessness perhaps. That could open up some convos.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity In my area home based safety services fill this role. Kids are not removed and parents get services.
Thank you for sharing
I’d definitely be interested to hear if there are any movies that are accurate at all. I’ve never seen or heard of any documentaries on fostering so I’d love to know what’s out there.
There is a tv show called the fosters on Disney plus
There is also a movie called “instant family”
I would not recommend instant family, unless you want a parody of fostering. The Foster’s is a good show. I really enjoyed “foster” which is a doc.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity I’ve seen the movie and though I didn’t know much about fostering at the time it did seem kinda off to me. I loved the Fosters! I may do a rewatch of that actually. I’ve never heard of the documentary so I’ll check it out for sure!