I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Shrooms can really help break the spell. Whatever spell you may be under.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
True! Unless it's the boring 'Normies' Dummy Down Narative on Auto Pilot Repeat for the Slave System's Masses ( T V., School Education, Politics, Religion and all Psyop Programs, etc. That are so dull and stupid 🤤🤤😴. We are Quantum Light Beings highly intelligent in a Dummy Down System.
I like what he said about organizing the environment and all the tools that can help. The strange thing about realizing I have ADHD in my late 30s is seeing that I’ve instinctively organized my environment to be ADHD-friendly. Everything visible, easy organization tools, things at the place of action (like garbage bags next to the bin, not in the pantry! Etc). Since realizing about ADHD, I’ve been encouraged to continue and expand my efforts to create an ADHD-friendly living space. It’s very helpful to be aware. Also, instead of ignoring my overwhelm, I started to take breaks, turn down the noise and lights to reduce stimulation… this really helps me recharge. It’s so relieving to recognize what’s going on and actually do things that help. And lastly, we should be kind to ourselves. Everything that sounds great doesn’t always work and isn’t always sustainable.
42 here. ADHD exhaustion has become significantly more draining as I’ve gotten older. It feels like I’m a small plane flying in a thunderstorm that’s getting worse every day.
Absolutely. I just can’t do the night shifts anymore and despite the stakes having gotten higher and shame more intense, the fear of shame does it less and less as a motivator.
I’ve never commented on a video but there’s a first time for everything. I cannot explain how meaningful your podcast has been for me. Diagnosed as an adult only a few years ago but have avoided any positive action to better understand myself, my actions, my inactions, and so on. Listening to so many of these episodes has been the greatest comfort and catalyst of my life, to really start to understand who I am and why I am. It’s been a revelation for me and has changed me so much in a short period of time. So, I thank you for all of your efforts in bringing this into the lives of so many that likely needed it.
The knowledge you all provide is just invaluable….as a 57 year old woman 99.9% sure I have ADHD I am so grateful. The hacks have changed my life and things are slowly getting better and brighter ❤️
I love this podcast sooo much! I have 14222 unread emails, 5 domains and 9 email addresses! I identify with all of the content on this podcast so much! Thank you for making it!
For me, those tens of thousands of emails are just junk (I hope -or it's too late). I'm not mad I didn't read them, but that I can't manage to delete and unsubscribe
I have consumed SO MUCH "understanding your ADHD" material, on UA-cam as well as podcasts and books - YEARS of it. This guy just NAILED IT. Regarding my own symptoms, I've never heard it described as accurately. Ya know, 99% of the hundreds of hours of content that I consume is just to find those little nuggets of information that resonate with my particular situation. This interview was like striking gold, for me. I'm blown away - I'm snatching up that "7 Pillars" book right now. This made my day.
This discussion is streets ahead of any other I've heard about ADHD. Outstandingly good. Thanks Alex Partridge for putting the time and effort in. It means a LOT
The night owl part. My circadian rhythm is literally completely opposite of the rest of the world. Plus hyper vigilance ever since I had kids. Love the owl analogies!
Same here! Complete night owl. I can’t do many things with my peers that are all going out to early lunches at 11:30 AM because I’m 71 and they’re in their 70s and 80s some in their 60s. But 11:30 AM does not register for me. That’s the time I’m getting up and doing yoga and meditating or going to the gym. Do you think having their circulating rhythm reversed is something that is part of ADHD? I never realize that was the case until just recently listening to some of the things people were saying here. All I know is I do require the peace and quiet and TV and talking on the phone as that is the best part of my day. I find the sun to be very overstimulating to my brain. It just really puts me in a bad mood if I have to be in the sun and the heat very long. It almost feels painful to my brain psychologically!
Hilarious idea of Maria in the Sound of Music being adhd. Here are the lyrics to the song the nuns sing about her (for those who didn’t memorize it in childhood 🤓). Though I definitely recommend hearing it sung! : ‘How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria’ Lyrics from ‘The Sound of Music’ She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee Her dress has got a tear She waltzes on her way to Mass And whistles on the stair And underneath her wimple She has curlers in her hair I even heard her singing in the abbey She’s always late for chapel But her penitence is real She’s always late for everything Except for every meal I hate to have to say it But I very firmly feel Maria’s not an asset to the abbey I’d like to say a word in her behalf Maria makes me laugh How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Maria? A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown! Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say How do you keep a wave upon the sand Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? When I’m with her I’m confused Out of focus and bemused And I never know exactly where I am Unpredictable as weather She’s as flighty as a feather She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb! She’d outpester any pest Drive a hornet from its nest She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl She is gentle! She is wild! She’s a riddle! She’s a child! She’s a headache! She’s an angel! She’s a girl! How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Maria? A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown! Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say How do you keep a wave upon the sand Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
I couldn't wait until that movie came on t.v. every year. We had the album that I played all the time and some songs would bring me to tears yet I definitely related to Maria (and my name is Tia Maria) and I wondered why the nuns had a problem with her. 🤷♀️. Thank you for sharing!
I related to soooo many things said here! I realized in my 40s I have ADHD ( now in 50s). I have allergies and now lactose intolerant, I had childhood trauma (parent dying), I fainted in college after a hot shower (and still may need to lie down after hot showers), I’ve said for years that my circadian rhythm seems to be more than 24 hours so stay up progressively later until I get tired enough to reset. Tip for point of use: I bought a key chain years ago that’s a twisty bracelet that I could hang on the doorknob as I get home and then around my wrist when I leave.
The problem with trying to listen without a trying to formulate your response is that we forget what the other person said. There's so much other sensory input when having a verbal conversation that it's really hard to just listen. I have found mindfulness has helped me immensely in improving my listening skills and also using observational skills to remain engaged in active listening.
I really needed to hear all of this I'm so tired of being told I'm this and that bc everything i say and do is taken out of context. I'm not mean, miserable or lazy and it's draining being told these things. Or even worse me thinking these things. I'm my most harshest critic and I'm so tired of not reaching my goals. Hearing this info today is extremely beneficial and I'm very grateful for this podcast and for finding it!
This is SO validating. I worked extremely hard in school all the way through university (while somehow still believing myself to be lazy and stupid?) and even went back a few years after graduating and got a full scholarship to a prestigious graduate school program in a completely different field... Only to work so hard at *that* that I cratered my physical and mental health in a way I'm still working to recover from over a decade later and had to walk away 1 year into a 3 year program. The whole time, I believed doctors and others who said I couldn't have ADHD or any other "learning disability" (their words, not mine) because I "did well in school." Yeah, I was really good at pulling all-nighters to finish projects or cram for tests and using pattern recognition to ace essay tests and discussions on reading that I never finished... But I assure you that I was doing absolutely anything but "well" the entire time.
I just want to say that this is one of the absolute best podcasts you've ever done. I may add to "the solutions" for improving the psychological comorbidities, improving one's self esteem has a great impact on one's personality and quality of life. With a rising self esteem even anxiety starts to shrink a great deal which is a wonderful feeling. Bottom line, guys do therapy, meds are great and all but find a good therapist that cares about you and stay in therapy as long as you can, potentially for the rest of your life if possible
8:55 Wow! I’m just blown away at his description of shapeshifting and mirroring other people: their interests, their tone of voice… I’ve always done that. Especially when the person has a really pronounced accent or cadence. Incidentally I found my home on the stage in Jr. High. I majored in Theatre Arts at University. I loved it there. I felt very at home with the types of people that gravitate to acting and the schedule of evening rehearsals and performances fit my night owl tendencies. Now I’m a 41 year old SAHM, homeschooling my kids, and really struggling with executive functioning, hormonal fluctuations, memory, explaining complex ideas, and more I just can’t think of currently. This really hits home for me. I’m really just starting my journey of discovering that I may fit into this mold. It’s fascinating and a bit scary! I’m being very cautious as I don’t want to self diagnose but I can’t help watching all of his videos!
Got officially diagnosed a few days ago. I knew I have to be neurodivergent for a few years now. I am trying to get my life together now at over 40. Thanks for your channel and giving insight into the whole topic.
Thank you Alex and Dr Kustow - I needed to hear this! I was clinically diagnosed in February this year, 2 weeks after my 50th Birthday. Very quick to offer meds - I've tried x4 different lots which have either made me physically ill, my symptoms worse or haven't had enough of an impact to justify being on them. This book sounds like it could be the kind of 'medicine' that will work for me! Thank you Dr Kustow! Alex - Thank you for being a safe space and for helping me understand what has potentially caused of my 'inner volcano' to erupt and overflow over the years!
I recently took a pharma-genetic dna test and it tells what is the best medication for every condition including ADHD. It did cost me $200 because insurance didn’t pay but it was worth every penny. My dr and I have used it to adjust multiple medications.
undiagnosed but in my late 40s a few of my friends from university have had adult diagnosis of adhd, i think we were all drawn to each other and might explain why those years were so chaotic. i was successful in getting the degree, but a lot of time and effort especially in things i wasn't good at... my parents helped me through so much, didn't succeed at getting my foot in the door of the field i had my degree in and felt so much shame
Such an interesting conversation. I was very lucky at college because they did lots of mini tests most weeks which was really helpful. When I went to uni it was more self directed and I started falling apart then, struggled to meet deadlines ect. I had to work like a dog (always last minute 🤦🏼♀️😭). Blimey I take proplus for breakfast to try and kickstart myself! I struggle to sustain a job since menopause because I now also have health issues, it's so overwhelming.
Thank you so much to both of you! Probably the best & most informative video I've watched about ADHD. I'll be sharing this & getting the book :-) I can relate so much, having only just realized in my late 50's now & so glad of the insights. I really laughed at the end with the clothes mountain & molehills...so me!! Thank you for the honesty & inspiration, absolutely priceless.
I was trying to explain RSD to my mom since I’m seeking an ADHD diagnosis at 38, and it was tremendously difficult. It was so hard to explain it without making my mom feel like she did something wrong by not getting me diagnosed when I was a child.
Really interesting what James was saying about working so hard, using highlighters, reading it all out to you, in school. I also struggled massively with being outside with the other students at secondary school. I found it so noisy and I didn't understand how to join in with other students. I worked so hard to prove to the teachers that I wasn't thick. My early exam results were really poor (32% etc). I had a lot of trauma and I poured myself into study as my coping strategy and turned my grades around. I have always had to work exceedingly exceedingly hard to do well though...
Oh my goodness ~this is such a useful interview.... my night owlishness is something I have tried to change, but I find almost impossible.... 2 is the earliest I can go to sleep.... always has been, and even though I can choose when I wake/sleep, because I live in total isolation on a farm, it would make a whole lot more sense to be awake early and get work done, but I seem to find it impossible, even if I get myself into bed earlier, I just can't get to sleep until after 2... often I even see the sun begin to wake up before I can sleep. And I have trouble with the heat of the day... I wake up and scan everywhere for snakes, threats, issues until later int he afternoon, and only then can I get outside to do the work I need to get done. My days are very short.... my nights are long and I luxuriate after dark, in the ability to relax. Often in a bath that can last for many hours.... and i have felt like a bit of a lunatic...and I totally have the clothes mountain!I feel somewhat more like a 'normal' person now, as I am obviously not the only one!
I have almost the exact same situation. I’m trying to accept my rhythms as much as possible but it’s not easy when the rest of the world is completely opposite.
Thank you so much for this video. 38:51 I worked my whole life around not being able to get to a job by 9 am. I knew I'd never make and get fired. So my jobs were either late- start or else I was my own boss and could choose to start late and work late. I did a sleep test at a university clinic, where they put electrodes on my brain overnight, did 30 days of going to bed 1- hour later every night to try and 'reset my circadian rhythm' Even as a kid, I couldnt wake up after I getting up at 7:30 am. My step- mom had a 10 pm 6 am circadian rhythm so you can imagine how that worked out. Nobody knew about such a thing as ADHD back then, we're talking 65 years ago. This info helps a lot. It validates something I could not control, but was out of step with everyone else.
Masking yes ! Shape shift No awareness of self Yes Revealing the true self vs the hidden self Pretending someone you are not I have been learning about non violent communication Recognising my feelings and needs Learning to express them
I hate all these questionnaires for a add. Give me an actual test so I can show people how difficult dealing with this is. Actual exam. Actual tests that I will fail at that normal people have no problem. Measure my emotional dysregulation in my frustration in answering a question at that actual moment, my confusion in not being able to remember a question I was just asked 2 minutes ago on the exam, why can't they do something like this? Give me something so I can show people that I have severe difficulties in everyday things. I exist in a 5-minute window. Anything that happens in the future or a couple minutes behind and trying to find something is gone. I live in a "50 1st dates' every day of my life since kindergarten when it was brought to my attention. 58 years of this than I am so exhausted and not where I should be
"I exist in a 5-minute window"...I think I might have struck youtube comment gold with this. Living the adhd life is sheer madness. Trying to describe that madness to NT is nearly impossible and drives me into further madness. I'm sorry you share in this pain too. Thank you for your comment. Be well
@@WallyMahar my heart goes out to you also. I have a loved one who is exactly the same and I want so much to be able to help them whilst myself dealing with a late diagnosis as well. I have bought the book mentioned and will be taking it slowly and trusting that even small steps will give some relief. I sincerely wish the same for you. (Understanding hugs)
@@synapsexyt I'm not male. The dynamic is very different. Women do stuff like remember birthdays and Keep the social circle alive. If you're a woman and can't do that because of your ADHD you can't keep relationships going cos most men don't do that stuff and someone needs to
Soooo gooood!!! I’ll be buying this book and truly doing my best to actually read it. 😂 emotional regulation is exactly what I’m praying I gain some knowledge and control in. Thank you for this!!
all my life i get this dizziness when i stand up. doesn't always happen, but when it does, sometimes i just fall back to bed for 10 more seconds, wait for the 'wave' to pass and then get up again. only once this got so bad, that when i got up from a sofa after watching a movie for 2 hours, i got so dizzy that i sort of collapsed and hit my head against the front wall of the sofa. that was in 2014, an injury to my trapezius (went into shock to protect the spine) that never fully healed. anyway, i didn't know this condition was also linked with ADHD.
I just recently discovered your UA-cam page. I want to think you for sharing and making this content. I have dyslexia but someone recently thought I may have ADHD and after listening to a few of your shows I’m pretty positive I do. I’m struggling with completing task and motivation on things I should finish. What show do you recommend I listen to next?
Omg! I have inly just realized i have this and yes masking is exhausting!! I agree after your 30s you really cant keep going! Im 52 but definitely the depression definitely came in around mid 30s but kept going. I didnt marry until 42 and i am sure that to avoid rejection i had long distance relationships!
😊 Hi, Me too! I'm 62 and finally have answers. Like Doc said: " It's not our fault". What a relief to hear that. And the fact that trauma can kind of trigger it...( my words). Are you anywhere near N. Idaho? It'd be cool to be able to talk about this. I feel like I just opened the best 🎉 present 🎁 I've ever received! Knowledge is powerful!!
Would like to hear further discussion about ADHD becoming more of a challenge as you get older late 30’s to early 40’s, where it wasn’t as much of an issue in younger years. Where increasing responsibilities and demands come from having a family and career. Thanks
The very end: Last I checked, my unread emails were somewhere around 50,000-60,000 because of all of the domains I have from ideas I got excited about lol. And then actual emails that I had a hard time staying on top of because of that mess. My way of dealing with that was to just turn off the little red circle telling me the number of emails lol
I requested an assessment from the healthcare folks. They signed me up but failed to make an appointment. Now I am supposed to keep calling them while suffering from all the ADHD symptoms that I needed help to begin with. With this healthcare system, we are all doomed.
@42:10 Please pursue this idea. I have long wondered about the link/correlation/comorbidity of trauma and ADD. I recently saw another video on CPTSD making the same (or reverse) reference to ADD. How does one differentiate childhood CPTSD from ADD? Which comes first, treating CPTSD or ADD?
47:22 you also have to look at the partner also. Not just point out the deficit or reaction of the person with ADHD! You have so many people that will gaslight or take advantage of the fact that that person is struggling and use it against them. To me, then trying to counteract what is going on that could cause a reaction to the ADHD person. Maybe adressing things differently, or helping in situations they would normally ignore. So many situations can be avoided with just a little help or support from others that should care. I'm sure that ADHD person goes above and beyond 99% of the time, sometimes they just need a little grace and support
What do you do when one of your friends rolls their eyes and looks away if you ever mention your ADHD. One of my friends is an ex school teacher, with 12 grandkids. She's very much a know it all, and corrects me, its condescending and hurts, almost bringing back the feelings I experienced when teachers in grade school would punish me for behavior they didn't understand. I am 67 and was diagnosed when I was 13, put on Ritalin, which made me sit quietly in class, but the sound of fluorescent lights was very irritating. So I was put on Dextroamphetamine, I quit than because it dulled me. I still have all the symptoms of ADHD, but am trying to learn how to deal with it as best I can. these videos are so helpful ❤ thank you so much!
My partner and I both have ADHD. I think they are different forms, because there are aspects I relate to perfectly and there are others I see in his behaviours. For instance I'm the people pleaser and he's the perfectionist, one that projects a lot of judgement. What I find challenging is I've definitely noticed that he becomes regulated after a total outburst and overflow of built up anger and resentment. He's very much aware of this tendency although we haven't talked about it as part of his ADHD or that he could be using that process as a self treatment. I often feel like a punching bag (not literally there's no physical abuse) because I have to tolerate these outbursts after a lack of communication and I often get blamed for his lack of communication because my own emotional capacity and sensitivities make it difficult to communicate with me. I'm not sure how to encourage him to address that because he's always so assertive and certain on me being the issue.
Is it a given that hyperfocus is not okay for those with ADHD? Could it be okay and just not really okay for the majority of society who don't have ADHD? I just find that that's when I do my best is when I'm hyper focused and getting things done in an incredible short period of time that people without ADHD can't fathom. If that could be purposefully utilized somehow couldn't it be beneficial?
I was diagnosed 30 years ago and I live with it so this is what I tell the girls In my book - Your Body is a Gift .. That it stands for Attention Deluxe -Highly Divine. 🤗🦋I give them a simple listen, breathe allow meditation technique, which slows the mind down as you identify what you’re hearing.
90 seconds was too long, while you were saying it I already though I should check that next YT video which was about cptsd. That's my life. I'm 40+ and trying to be a student this year so imagine me having 6 classes in the row. One of my tutors has similar condition and habit to call my name 10 times during lecture to get my focus back 😅but it's extremelly exhausting and after 2 hours I'm depleted from all the attention I had for that day. I am thinking to give up. But when I'm back at home and there is 15 things to be done (involving movement) I am like new duracell battery. .
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Shrooms can really help break the spell. Whatever spell you may be under.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
ADHD is not failing to pay attention. It is paying attention to EVERYTHING all the time.
True! Unless it's the boring 'Normies' Dummy Down Narative on Auto Pilot Repeat for the Slave System's Masses ( T V., School Education, Politics, Religion and all Psyop Programs, etc. That are so dull and stupid 🤤🤤😴. We are Quantum Light Beings highly intelligent in a Dummy Down System.
Not mine.
I pay attention but doesnt matter when i literally forget everything afterwards
@@betscgee EXACTLY
YES!!! Like a TV screen with 40 channels playing all the time.
Who's watching at 2 a.m. because they couldn't sleep?
It's 2:48 am here.😂
5 am here...
I'm still up... Smh
because they supersleepy but just dont go to sleep...
that's usually my bedtime
I like what he said about organizing the environment and all the tools that can help. The strange thing about realizing I have ADHD in my late 30s is seeing that I’ve instinctively organized my environment to be ADHD-friendly. Everything visible, easy organization tools, things at the place of action (like garbage bags next to the bin, not in the pantry! Etc).
Since realizing about ADHD, I’ve been encouraged to continue and expand my efforts to create an ADHD-friendly living space. It’s very helpful to be aware.
Also, instead of ignoring my overwhelm, I started to take breaks, turn down the noise and lights to reduce stimulation… this really helps me recharge. It’s so relieving to recognize what’s going on and actually do things that help.
And lastly, we should be kind to ourselves. Everything that sounds great doesn’t always work and isn’t always sustainable.
Diagnosed and medicated lightly at 79. Thanks for your generous assistance!
42 here. ADHD exhaustion has become significantly more draining as I’ve gotten older. It feels like I’m a small plane flying in a thunderstorm that’s getting worse every day.
Totally relate. I'm 66.
Absolutely. I just can’t do the night shifts anymore and despite the stakes having gotten higher and shame more intense, the fear of shame does it less and less as a motivator.
That's a fantastic analogy. I just turned 40 and I haven't been this exhausted since I had mono in my 20s.
@@minimal13579 The shame has gotten worse? Like Toxic Shame? So when elders say it gets better…life gets better…they’re all lying… 😒🤦♂️😢
I completely here you x
I’ve never commented on a video but there’s a first time for everything. I cannot explain how meaningful your podcast has been for me. Diagnosed as an adult only a few years ago but have avoided any positive action to better understand myself, my actions, my inactions, and so on. Listening to so many of these episodes has been the greatest comfort and catalyst of my life, to really start to understand who I am and why I am. It’s been a revelation for me and has changed me so much in a short period of time. So, I thank you for all of your efforts in bringing this into the lives of so many that likely needed it.
I concur and this idea of imbalanced autonomic nervous system is a revelation.
@@ardenevoxYes
Never listened to anyone who so nearly represents my understanding and experience of ADD. I just bought his book. Please get this lovely man back.
The knowledge you all provide is just invaluable….as a 57 year old woman 99.9% sure I have ADHD I am so grateful. The hacks have changed my life and things are slowly getting better and brighter ❤️
I love this podcast sooo much! I have 14222 unread emails, 5 domains and 9 email addresses! I identify with all of the content on this podcast so much! Thank you for making it!
I beat you with the unread emails!!!!😢
@@mariandavis7953Me too 🤣
For me, those tens of thousands of emails are just junk (I hope -or it's too late). I'm not mad I didn't read them, but that I can't manage to delete and unsubscribe
67993 😂
191,000 and my email has stopped working 🤪
I have consumed SO MUCH "understanding your ADHD" material, on UA-cam as well as podcasts and books - YEARS of it. This guy just NAILED IT. Regarding my own symptoms, I've never heard it described as accurately.
Ya know, 99% of the hundreds of hours of content that I consume is just to find those little nuggets of information that resonate with my particular situation. This interview was like striking gold, for me. I'm blown away - I'm snatching up that "7 Pillars" book right now.
This made my day.
This discussion is streets ahead of any other I've heard about ADHD. Outstandingly good. Thanks Alex Partridge for putting the time and effort in. It means a LOT
The night owl part. My circadian rhythm is literally completely opposite of the rest of the world. Plus hyper vigilance ever since I had kids. Love the owl analogies!
This!!! I love being a parent, but we make it so hard on ourselves.
Same here! Complete night owl. I can’t do many things with my peers that are all going out to early lunches at 11:30 AM because I’m 71 and they’re in their 70s and 80s some in their 60s. But 11:30 AM does not register for me. That’s the time I’m getting up and doing yoga and meditating or going to the gym. Do you think having their circulating rhythm reversed is something that is part of ADHD? I never realize that was the case until just recently listening to some of the things people were saying here. All I know is I do require the peace and quiet and TV and talking on the phone as that is the best part of my day. I find the sun to be very overstimulating to my brain. It just really puts me in a bad mood if I have to be in the sun and the heat very long. It almost feels painful to my brain psychologically!
Me too. For longer than I've been diagnosed. (52).
Bed by 2am and lights off when the kookaburra's start.
Omg Guys!!!
As a first time, thirty (oops 40!) something… watcher.. I’m BLOWN AWAY!! Soo happy to have found you!!! (Lookout for all my likes!😊)
Hilarious idea of Maria in the Sound of Music being adhd. Here are the lyrics to the song the nuns sing about her (for those who didn’t memorize it in childhood 🤓). Though I definitely recommend hearing it sung! :
‘How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria’ Lyrics from ‘The Sound of Music’
She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to Mass
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the abbey
She’s always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She’s always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Maria’s not an asset to the abbey
I’d like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I’m with her I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She’s as flighty as a feather
She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb!
She’d outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She’s a riddle! She’s a child!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
I've spent my entire life (almost 7 decades) avoiding watching the Sound of Music. Does this mean I have to undo one of my few achievements?
That was an amazing trip down Memory Lane - thank you so much 👍🏼
@ haha, could be. I loved it as a kid but found I couldn’t sit still to rewatch it as an adult. I do think the soundtrack is pretty great though.
@@valtracey6180 For me too! Most welcome 😆
I couldn't wait until that movie came on t.v. every year. We had the album that I played all the time and some songs would bring me to tears yet I definitely related to Maria (and my name is Tia Maria) and I wondered why the nuns had a problem with her. 🤷♀️. Thank you for sharing!
Minute 25 “I worked bloody hard” (to be able graduate from university). So relate! 😅
the words thank you does not begin to express how grateful I am for this episode.... My heartfelt thank you to you both!
The cruelest irony is that to learn tricks to hack your ADHD, you have to pay attention for an hou and seventeen minutes. I don't have the capacity
I related to soooo many things said here! I realized in my 40s I have ADHD ( now in 50s). I have allergies and now lactose intolerant, I had childhood trauma (parent dying), I fainted in college after a hot shower (and still may need to lie down after hot showers), I’ve said for years that my circadian rhythm seems to be more than 24 hours so stay up progressively later until I get tired enough to reset. Tip for point of use: I bought a key chain years ago that’s a twisty bracelet that I could hang on the doorknob as I get home and then around my wrist when I leave.
The problem with trying to listen without a trying to formulate your response is that we forget what the other person said. There's so much other sensory input when having a verbal conversation that it's really hard to just listen. I have found mindfulness has helped me immensely in improving my listening skills and also using observational skills to remain engaged in active listening.
I can't listen to anything that isn't absolutely riveting for me and it's so annoying. Can't be involved in mindless chatter.
@@ugotitdude1112 can totally relate. It's been a skill I have had to learn throughout my life and feels like masking.
I really needed to hear all of this
I'm so tired of being told I'm this and that bc everything i say and do is taken out of context.
I'm not mean, miserable or lazy and it's draining being told these things. Or even worse me thinking these things. I'm my most harshest critic and I'm so tired of not reaching my goals.
Hearing this info today is extremely beneficial and I'm very grateful for this podcast and for finding it!
This is SO validating. I worked extremely hard in school all the way through university (while somehow still believing myself to be lazy and stupid?) and even went back a few years after graduating and got a full scholarship to a prestigious graduate school program in a completely different field... Only to work so hard at *that* that I cratered my physical and mental health in a way I'm still working to recover from over a decade later and had to walk away 1 year into a 3 year program. The whole time, I believed doctors and others who said I couldn't have ADHD or any other "learning disability" (their words, not mine) because I "did well in school." Yeah, I was really good at pulling all-nighters to finish projects or cram for tests and using pattern recognition to ace essay tests and discussions on reading that I never finished... But I assure you that I was doing absolutely anything but "well" the entire time.
This is a brilliant interview. Thank you so much.
I love his energy and voice. What a fantastic guest. Thank you.
I just want to say that this is one of the absolute best podcasts you've ever done.
I may add to "the solutions" for improving the psychological comorbidities, improving one's self esteem has a great impact on one's personality and quality of life. With a rising self esteem even anxiety starts to shrink a great deal which is a wonderful feeling.
Bottom line, guys do therapy, meds are great and all but find a good therapist that cares about you and stay in therapy as long as you can, potentially for the rest of your life if possible
At 70 e an hour its for the wealthy
@Jgp4xzdmqnmil Only in Darwinian countries with zero welfare
8:55 Wow! I’m just blown away at his description of shapeshifting and mirroring other people: their interests, their tone of voice… I’ve always done that. Especially when the person has a really pronounced accent or cadence. Incidentally I found my home on the stage in Jr. High. I majored in Theatre Arts at University. I loved it there. I felt very at home with the types of people that gravitate to acting and the schedule of evening rehearsals and performances fit my night owl tendencies. Now I’m a 41 year old SAHM, homeschooling my kids, and really struggling with executive functioning, hormonal fluctuations, memory, explaining complex ideas, and more I just can’t think of currently. This really hits home for me. I’m really just starting my journey of discovering that I may fit into this mold. It’s fascinating and a bit scary! I’m being very cautious as I don’t want to self diagnose but I can’t help watching all of his videos!
Got officially diagnosed a few days ago. I knew I have to be neurodivergent for a few years now. I am trying to get my life together now at over 40. Thanks for your channel and giving insight into the whole topic.
I was supposed to be going to do a food shop yet here I am, sat at my work desk after a horrifically overwhelming day, paralysed, watching this. ❤
Thank you for finally explaining RSD. It's been what I've been searching for and that was me.
Thank you Alex and Dr Kustow - I needed to hear this! I was clinically diagnosed in February this year, 2 weeks after my 50th Birthday. Very quick to offer meds - I've tried x4 different lots which have either made me physically ill, my symptoms worse or haven't had enough of an impact to justify being on them. This book sounds like it could be the kind of 'medicine' that will work for me!
Thank you Dr Kustow!
Alex - Thank you for being a safe space and for helping me understand what has potentially caused of my 'inner volcano' to erupt and overflow over the years!
I recently took a pharma-genetic dna test and it tells what is the best medication for every condition including ADHD. It did cost me $200 because insurance didn’t pay but it was worth every penny. My dr and I have used it to adjust multiple medications.
@gdcb1128 Thank you for sharing! This is genius - makes so much sense! I shall do some digging in the hope we have something similar in England 🤞
Listen - I’ll download the sponsor app but I absolutely REFUSE to listen to the ad😂 My rebellious spirit will not allow it!
undiagnosed but in my late 40s a few of my friends from university have had adult diagnosis of adhd, i think we were all drawn to each other and might explain why those years were so chaotic. i was successful in getting the degree, but a lot of time and effort especially in things i wasn't good at... my parents helped me through so much, didn't succeed at getting my foot in the door of the field i had my degree in and felt so much shame
I didn't even make it 30seconds sitting still. I'm listening and working! ❤
Such an interesting conversation. I was very lucky at college because they did lots of mini tests most weeks which was really helpful. When I went to uni it was more self directed and I started falling apart then, struggled to meet deadlines ect. I had to work like a dog (always last minute 🤦🏼♀️😭). Blimey I take proplus for breakfast to try and kickstart myself!
I struggle to sustain a job since menopause because I now also have health issues, it's so overwhelming.
❤❤❤
The amount of a..ha!! Moments i had listening to this was just wow. Helpful is an understatement 🙏 thank you
Thank you so much to both of you! Probably the best & most informative video I've watched about ADHD. I'll be sharing this & getting the book :-) I can relate so much, having only just realized in my late 50's now & so glad of the insights. I really laughed at the end with the clothes mountain & molehills...so me!! Thank you for the honesty & inspiration, absolutely priceless.
It was sooo good. I,ve just bought Dr,s Kustow Book. Alex, you are amazing. You really help people. Thank you.
So many moments I can relate to... 😂... Yep, I have hundreds of books, yet I choose to listen to them instead at 1.5 speed as they are too slow 😂
story of my life 😂🙃
I’m listening to this at 2x. 😂
I was trying to explain RSD to my mom since I’m seeking an ADHD diagnosis at 38, and it was tremendously difficult. It was so hard to explain it without making my mom feel like she did something wrong by not getting me diagnosed when I was a child.
What’s RSD?
@@333Cazza rejection sensitivity dysphoria
Does she also have a bit of RSD?
Really interesting what James was saying about working so hard, using highlighters, reading it all out to you, in school. I also struggled massively with being outside with the other students at secondary school. I found it so noisy and I didn't understand how to join in with other students. I worked so hard to prove to the teachers that I wasn't thick. My early exam results were really poor (32% etc). I had a lot of trauma and I poured myself into study as my coping strategy and turned my grades around. I have always had to work exceedingly exceedingly hard to do well though...
😂 Your dedications make my day. You're the best Alex, thank you🙏
This one's worth taking notes on, will definitely check out his book!
Oh my goodness ~this is such a useful interview.... my night owlishness is something I have tried to change, but I find almost impossible.... 2 is the earliest I can go to sleep.... always has been, and even though I can choose when I wake/sleep, because I live in total isolation on a farm, it would make a whole lot more sense to be awake early and get work done, but I seem to find it impossible, even if I get myself into bed earlier, I just can't get to sleep until after 2... often I even see the sun begin to wake up before I can sleep. And I have trouble with the heat of the day... I wake up and scan everywhere for snakes, threats, issues until later int he afternoon, and only then can I get outside to do the work I need to get done. My days are very short.... my nights are long and I luxuriate after dark, in the ability to relax. Often in a bath that can last for many hours.... and i have felt like a bit of a lunatic...and I totally have the clothes mountain!I feel somewhat more like a 'normal' person now, as I am obviously not the only one!
I have almost the exact same situation. I’m trying to accept my rhythms as much as possible but it’s not easy when the rest of the world is completely opposite.
Thank you so much for this video. 38:51 I worked my whole life around not being able to get to a job by 9 am. I knew I'd never make and get fired. So my jobs were either late- start or else I was my own boss and could choose to start late and work late. I did a sleep test at a university clinic, where they put electrodes on my brain overnight, did 30 days of going to bed 1- hour later every night to try and 'reset my circadian rhythm' Even as a kid, I couldnt wake up after I getting up at 7:30 am. My step- mom had a 10 pm 6 am circadian rhythm so you can imagine how that worked out. Nobody knew about such a thing as ADHD back then, we're talking 65 years ago. This info helps a lot. It validates something I could not control, but was out of step with everyone else.
Masking yes !
Shape shift
No awareness of self
Yes
Revealing the true self vs the hidden self
Pretending someone you are not
I have been learning about non violent communication
Recognising my feelings and needs
Learning to express them
Very good questions. Thank you for sharing what we really deal with.
I didnt understand the owl until they said night owl and then it all made perfect sense, among other things, thanks a lot
Brilliant episode - super informative and resonates with many of my experiences and research done and I unpack why I am the way I am.
Totally agree!
Oooh I love this option to jump ahead 😂👍🏼
I hate all these questionnaires for a add. Give me an actual test so I can show people how difficult dealing with this is. Actual exam. Actual tests that I will fail at that normal people have no problem. Measure my emotional dysregulation in my frustration in answering a question at that actual moment, my confusion in not being able to remember a question I was just asked 2 minutes ago on the exam, why can't they do something like this? Give me something so I can show people that I have severe difficulties in everyday things. I exist in a 5-minute window. Anything that happens in the future or a couple minutes behind and trying to find something is gone. I live in a "50 1st dates' every day of my life since kindergarten when it was brought to my attention. 58 years of this than I am so exhausted and not where I should be
"I exist in a 5-minute window"...I think I might have struck youtube comment gold with this.
Living the adhd life is sheer madness. Trying to describe that madness to NT is nearly impossible and drives me into further madness.
I'm sorry you share in this pain too. Thank you for your comment. Be well
@@WallyMahar my heart goes out to you also. I have a loved one who is exactly the same and I want so much to be able to help them whilst myself dealing with a late diagnosis as well. I have bought the book mentioned and will be taking it slowly and trusting that even small steps will give some relief. I sincerely wish the same for you. (Understanding hugs)
I found the conversation about ADHD and Dysautonomia interesting. I have both. Thanks for the good information 🙏🏾
I enjoyed this. Thank you 🙏🏽
Im avoidant in relationships and a perfectionist when it comes to work and it's exhausting
I felt this way for years until I found a partner with whom I was able to talk and make some agreements regarding my ADHD. So good...
@adhdvibesyt do you mind me asking if you're male or female?
@@RenegadeContext male, bro! why?
@@RenegadeContext and my girl is a psychologist, maybe this help us 🤣
@@synapsexyt I'm not male. The dynamic is very different. Women do stuff like remember birthdays and Keep the social circle alive. If you're a woman and can't do that because of your ADHD you can't keep relationships going cos most men don't do that stuff and someone needs to
Thank you for doing an audio version!!!!
So much makes sense now.
Soooo gooood!!! I’ll be buying this book and truly doing my best to actually read it. 😂 emotional regulation is exactly what I’m praying I gain some knowledge and control in. Thank you for this!!
& then I hear there is an audio version! 👏🏼👏🏼
Get the audiobook
00:05 Me: "is that a tiny washing machine?"
😂 I did the same thing!
Whatta guy 🙌💜 so very helpful, thank you
Tiimo ❤❤❤❤❤ and how you integrated it seamlessly 🎉🎉🎉 😅love this, love Tiimo
all my life i get this dizziness when i stand up. doesn't always happen, but when it does, sometimes i just fall back to bed for 10 more seconds, wait for the 'wave' to pass and then get up again. only once this got so bad, that when i got up from a sofa after watching a movie for 2 hours, i got so dizzy that i sort of collapsed and hit my head against the front wall of the sofa. that was in 2014, an injury to my trapezius (went into shock to protect the spine) that never fully healed. anyway, i didn't know this condition was also linked with ADHD.
When you get dizzy, lean forward, it is better than leaning back :)
Same!! It’s linked to adhd?!
may i suggest you do some reading into POTS aka disautonomia (disorder of the autonomic system) ….. posted BEFORE watching that section 😅
Well done chaps. You just sold me both of your books.
I have an entire clothes mountain range.
I loved this! Thanks so much 😊🙏❤️
Ich muss schlafen, ich muss vernünftig essen, ich muss regelmäßig Sport machen... ich muss ich muss ich muss gar nichts!
So good! Thank you. ❤
Amazing 👏
Bought his book just now and hope I can finish it
I just recently discovered your UA-cam page. I want to think you for sharing and making this content. I have dyslexia but someone recently thought I may have ADHD and after listening to a few of your shows I’m pretty positive I do. I’m struggling with completing task and motivation on things I should finish. What show do you recommend I listen to next?
I am convinced that tai chi could benefit immensely us the adhd people
Thank you for letting me know exactly how much to double tap to skip the ad
Omg! I have inly just realized i have this and yes masking is exhausting!! I agree after your 30s you really cant keep going! Im 52 but definitely the depression definitely came in around mid 30s but kept going. I didnt marry until 42 and i am sure that to avoid rejection i had long distance relationships!
😊 Hi, Me too! I'm 62 and finally have answers. Like Doc said: " It's not our fault".
What a relief to hear that. And the fact that trauma can kind of trigger it...( my words).
Are you anywhere near N. Idaho? It'd be cool to be able to talk about this. I feel like I just opened the best 🎉 present 🎁 I've ever received! Knowledge is powerful!!
7:57.
It's 1:12am, I'm dead tired, sleepy but I couldn't finish the work in the morning/afternoon/evening, so here I am, still trying...
Would like to hear further discussion about ADHD becoming more of a challenge as you get older late 30’s to early 40’s, where it wasn’t as much of an issue in younger years. Where increasing responsibilities and demands come from having a family and career. Thanks
The very end:
Last I checked, my unread emails were somewhere around 50,000-60,000 because of all of the domains I have from ideas I got excited about lol. And then actual emails that I had a hard time staying on top of because of that mess. My way of dealing with that was to just turn off the little red circle telling me the number of emails lol
Our very own Dr James Kustow!
I went looking for the daily practice thing he mentioned on your website but couldn't find it :( is it up yet?
Same, also looking for the daily practice, can you share a link please? Thanks 👍
Me too
I lissened to this I clean or I've I would never be able to do it +1×5 fast excellent
You are spot on, SRD is hell. 😢
31:02 It should be renamed Attention DISREGULATION/Hyperactivity Disorder
I requested an assessment from the healthcare folks. They signed me up but failed to make an appointment. Now I am supposed to keep calling them while suffering from all the ADHD symptoms that I needed help to begin with. With this healthcare system, we are all doomed.
thanks guys
7:48 i am staying up to keep up with my work, it's almost 2:00AM. Watching this while waiting for some processes to complete :)
Yup, here at 2.40.....
❤
❤@@sarahcolfer1104
@42:10 Please pursue this idea. I have long wondered about the link/correlation/comorbidity of trauma and ADD. I recently saw another video on CPTSD making the same (or reverse) reference to ADD. How does one differentiate childhood CPTSD from ADD? Which comes first, treating CPTSD or ADD?
47:22 you also have to look at the partner also. Not just point out the deficit or reaction of the person with ADHD! You have so many people that will gaslight or take advantage of the fact that that person is struggling and use it against them. To me, then trying to counteract what is going on that could cause a reaction to the ADHD person. Maybe adressing things differently, or helping in situations they would normally ignore. So many situations can be avoided with just a little help or support from others that should care. I'm sure that ADHD person goes above and beyond 99% of the time, sometimes they just need a little grace and support
Also you can't choose the hyperfocus and the timing of it, it's almost completely random
What do you do when one of your friends rolls their eyes and looks away if you ever mention your ADHD. One of my friends is an ex school teacher, with 12 grandkids. She's very much a know it all, and corrects me, its condescending and hurts, almost bringing back the feelings I experienced when teachers in grade school would punish me for behavior they didn't understand. I am 67 and was diagnosed when I was 13, put on Ritalin, which made me sit quietly in class, but the sound of fluorescent lights was very irritating. So I was put on Dextroamphetamine, I quit than because it dulled me.
I still have all the symptoms of ADHD, but am trying to learn how to deal with it as best I can. these videos are so helpful ❤ thank you so much!
I came along way witha 12 step program for addiction !
My partner and I both have ADHD. I think they are different forms, because there are aspects I relate to perfectly and there are others I see in his behaviours. For instance I'm the people pleaser and he's the perfectionist, one that projects a lot of judgement. What I find challenging is I've definitely noticed that he becomes regulated after a total outburst and overflow of built up anger and resentment. He's very much aware of this tendency although we haven't talked about it as part of his ADHD or that he could be using that process as a self treatment. I often feel like a punching bag (not literally there's no physical abuse) because I have to tolerate these outbursts after a lack of communication and I often get blamed for his lack of communication because my own emotional capacity and sensitivities make it difficult to communicate with me.
I'm not sure how to encourage him to address that because he's always so assertive and certain on me being the issue.
Cartoon character with ADHD: TAZ immediately comes to mind. Love him.. Also Donald Duck.. ❤
I literally did not sit my uni exams for exactly what he described, although I didn't get a diagnosis for another decade
Great Show!😊
-40,000 unread emails.
-Always firget shopping bags and have to buy new ones.
- Start tons of tasks i never finish
-Over 100 domains, down to about 39
Is it a given that hyperfocus is not okay for those with ADHD? Could it be okay and just not really okay for the majority of society who don't have ADHD? I just find that that's when I do my best is when I'm hyper focused and getting things done in an incredible short period of time that people without ADHD can't fathom. If that could be purposefully utilized somehow couldn't it be beneficial?
Honestly the 89 second test gets me.
I was diagnosed 30 years ago and I live with it so this is what I tell the girls In my book - Your Body is a Gift .. That it stands for Attention Deluxe -Highly Divine. 🤗🦋I give them a simple listen, breathe allow meditation technique, which slows the mind down as you identify what you’re hearing.
90 seconds was too long, while you were saying it I already though I should check that next YT video which was about cptsd. That's my life. I'm 40+ and trying to be a student this year so imagine me having 6 classes in the row. One of my tutors has similar condition and habit to call my name 10 times during lecture to get my focus back 😅but it's extremelly exhausting and after 2 hours I'm depleted from all the attention I had for that day. I am thinking to give up. But when I'm back at home and there is 15 things to be done (involving movement) I am like new duracell battery. .
🤣🤣🤣🤣i have undiagnosed ADHD and i currently to cleaning my flat. When said clothes mountain i died because i kee putting it off .
just viewing the comments and looking at the doc a bit, I think this is too woo wah for me. I am sticking with the old man, Hallowell. Thank you,
19:30 That hit hard. Wow.
May have to look at TIMO 😅
Great interview great mind! ✨🙏🏽
Thank you oh so very much x