As a Walmart employee, I implore customers to ignore the writhing masses of tentacles. They are there to keep up employee morale so that we may bring you the best shopping experience. Charles provides.
As a Sobeys employee I would also like to advice customers that our writhing masses of tentacles are the store managers. Both are very busy most days and are not available for photos.
I do miss the personal comments youd make at the end of the scp, whether it was just a joke or a personal view it really brought the whole "I am a researcher who takes my job seriously but I'm also human too" feeling to these.
"One Best Way" is the name for a series of Walmart training documents (i.e. "One Best Way" to do X or Y), for those wondering about the unofficial name
I had a friend who worked for Kroger, during a period when the company was promoting a "Feed the Human Spirit" campaign. When someone from higher up in the company asked if he was excited about the campaign, he enthusiastically agreed before asking what exactly they were feeding the human spirit to.
As a former employee of Walmart for 7 years this is hilarious. The "Walmart cult" and "the store is alive" urban legends and jokes are my favorite memories of working there.
@vergilsplasticchair7888 nope, parts of the the backroom, the trailers for holiday toys, and the infant section were all places were it was said people would gather and worship. Shit, my own supervisor one night after a shift turned to me and asked if I thought the store was alive? Nope it's not a local thing it's everywhere.
@adamjanhaoui860 that the Walmart meetings were ways to worship something or someone. That there were isolated places in the backroom that were where people could praise something. That the store spoke to people. That the store was somehow alive. That entities were drawn to the store. You know, normal stories about retail.
As a former walmart cashier i can confirm i would have fed customers to an eldritch diety if it meant shorter lines and more manageable customers during the holiday peak season
You mean your location didn't offer that!? We at Location 2121 in Washington State don't either. We do have brain symbiotes that help customers by devouring their freewill so they won't resist our savings and are better at self-checkout! It's a win-win!
@saint23thomas We must pray harder. All to keep the evil creatures that is Amzon from spreading! *all the while ordering from Amzon* What? It's not my fault Wal-Mart failed to stock the shit I need. Wal-Mart shot themselves and failed me.
As someone working in warehousing, can confirm the use of anomalies to finish all orders by the end of the day is absolutely necessary. Charles provides.
If you're interviewing for a job, and the manager tells you "we're a family company", watch out. Most often it's the Corleones, but sometimes it the Mansons.
I can easily imagine something similar happening being responsible for the IKEA. Like some greedy CEO strikes a deal with an Elder god in a monkey's-paw-style pact to "infinitely boost sales" and the result is SCP-3008.
Creepy. Excellent voice acting! Also, although people may have complained but I enjoy/miss your “personal” comments at the end of some of these videos ☺️
I also enjoy some Volgun videos at night, but fear, however trivialized by the medium, isn't too good for sleep. Try listening to John Michael Godier for this, he doesn't have any scary ambient sounds or variating voices, he's like a balm on your sleeping eyes.
@@justinsmith5870 could you namedrop some cool spoken word horror youtubers that you know? I'm more about spoken word than horror, but I don't mind a new voice in my head lol
@@justinsmith5870 yeah im sure lots do, but volgun is my one-and-only because before i do fall asleep i get to enjoy the highest quality and best voice acted horror content around
Dunno, but those last few words told me EVERYTHING about this SCP's identity (I know a couple ppl who work(ed) at a Walmart here in NC, and I bet they **might** get a kick out of this entry lol
Remedy entertainment should hire you to help with control 2. You could do backgrounds on creatures, add videos in games related to the various items, make marketing material related to the game etc. It would be such a perfect fit.
In the description of your videos can you add in the class, disruption and risk class what they mean please. It would make understanding the new stuff a bit easier for those who dont know it.
There is an older video explaining it. it would probably be a bit of bloat to explain in the description what Keter means though. although I agree it's a bit confusing, which is probably why even though it's a better system than the classic, it didn't see mass adoption.
I worked for walmart and i kept fighting between amusement and slight horrow that holy shit it might as well be a cult. Most unrealustic thing is consistent shifts and getting out on time. Esp if you were a cashier.
I am also a retail worker. And in a single year of transfer to a store closer to company HQ it felt different. I make jokes like "One of US" now, but I honestly dont feel like the company that employs me is malevolent. But the feeling of cultural separation is a lil weird. At the very least we dont pray to our founder as a deity.
The thing with SCPs is that there is such a variety in all aspects. This one probably sits well with someone familiar with the setting but otherwise it’s pretty silly 😅
Oh man. Working in retail and recognizing that “SFSism” stands for “Ship from Store” gave me a laugh. This is brilliant.
or Shout-out for Shout-out ism 😂
As a Walmart employee, I implore customers to ignore the writhing masses of tentacles. They are there to keep up employee morale so that we may bring you the best shopping experience.
Charles provides.
For Walmart, it should be Samuel Provides.
As a Sobeys employee I would also like to advice customers that our writhing masses of tentacles are the store managers. Both are very busy most days and are not available for photos.
Charles provides.
Uh... Me and my girlfriend want to join your Wallmart to boost our morale👀👀👀
Sounds like Amazon to me lol
I do miss the personal comments youd make at the end of the scp, whether it was just a joke or a personal view it really brought the whole "I am a researcher who takes my job seriously but I'm also human too" feeling to these.
Same!
ditto
He said to many people complained so he stopped doing it after a while.
Me too!
Also the narrator of the SCP's isn't exactly human anymore, he's a sentient tape recorder.
The part about the spider eldritch horror eating them, then returning them, only for them to buy stuff faster and collapse, was particulary hilarious.
The creepiest thing is that right at the end of the video, the icon for my Walmart app appeared in my phone's notification bar.
"One Best Way" is the name for a series of Walmart training documents (i.e. "One Best Way" to do X or Y), for those wondering about the unofficial name
This is one of my fav SCP, and seriously, this is the best narration. Yes, I subscribe !
I used to work Stocking and Receiving for Walmart. This explains so much.
I love some funny Lovecraftian stuff.
Man this is every sales office ever, need to write a skip about my ex office now
i remember working at lowes too~
This ain't an anomaly, it's just the store I work at
I work in the SFS department for a Walmart and I assure that the entities are friendly if you get to know them
Cool
Fifthism is my favourite ⭐️
as a picker I can confirm that Charles provides
Thanks for posting 😺
Former walmart employee.
Ugh. How true.
Oh so.... basically just retail?
Yes let us save money and live better
It's a cargo cult haha...
comment!
reply!
Anothe Reply!
Reply three!
shopping speedrun max%
Ah, so someone else worked at Walmart.
And they still have to use self checkout
I had a friend who worked for Kroger, during a period when the company was promoting a "Feed the Human Spirit" campaign. When someone from higher up in the company asked if he was excited about the campaign, he enthusiastically agreed before asking what exactly they were feeding the human spirit to.
What did they say?
well now we know
As a former employee of Walmart for 7 years this is hilarious. The "Walmart cult" and "the store is alive" urban legends and jokes are my favorite memories of working there.
Could you talk about those urban legends more ?
Hold up you had that in your store too? I honestly thought that was just a local joke in my store.
Bro I was convinced an aspect of Sam Walton himself haunted each individual Walmart when I worked there
@vergilsplasticchair7888 nope, parts of the the backroom, the trailers for holiday toys, and the infant section were all places were it was said people would gather and worship. Shit, my own supervisor one night after a shift turned to me and asked if I thought the store was alive? Nope it's not a local thing it's everywhere.
@adamjanhaoui860 that the Walmart meetings were ways to worship something or someone. That there were isolated places in the backroom that were where people could praise something. That the store spoke to people. That the store was somehow alive. That entities were drawn to the store. You know, normal stories about retail.
As someone who worked at Sam's Club for 12 years, I can confirm that Charles provides.
Wilcox is pleased.
Charles provides
Wilcox is pleased.
Charles provides
Wilcox is pleased
As a former walmart cashier i can confirm i would have fed customers to an eldritch diety if it meant shorter lines and more manageable customers during the holiday peak season
😂😂🎉🎉
You mean your location didn't offer that!? We at Location 2121 in Washington State don't either. We do have brain symbiotes that help customers by devouring their freewill so they won't resist our savings and are better at self-checkout! It's a win-win!
Honestly, fair enough. Carry on
Agree
Totally Justified
Charles Provides
Fifthism and Walmart......A most grim combination indeed.
Yes, but it's the only thing we have that might be able to keep Jeff Bezos from enacting the final stage of Amazon Prime.
@saint23thomas We must pray harder. All to keep the evil creatures that is Amzon from spreading! *all the while ordering from Amzon* What? It's not my fault Wal-Mart failed to stock the shit I need. Wal-Mart shot themselves and failed me.
if you think the eldrich horrors on the floor are bad, you should see the rituals in the IT department.
You can tell when an author has worked the job.
I work as a cashier and listened to this on my lunch. Can confirm this is 100% what it's like working here
Charles Provides
Charles provides
“Now let’s go save money, and live better.”
LOL
I just want to remind everyone who is unnerved by the spider that volgun took what was likely several hours meticulously modeling it
Always enjoy a fresh Fifthist SCP.
its not Fifthism, its just retail
@@kenpanderzthen why does the title say Fifthist?
It still qualifies as a Fifthist SCP for multiple reasons, incl. cult member interaction, tech thaumaturgy, et al.
@@jewwinfrey6460
Because Retail and Fifthism are interchangeable.
@@wyzer9 Plus the mention of the great starfish as a deity
"I owe my soul to the company store"~
As someone working in warehousing, can confirm the use of anomalies to finish all orders by the end of the day is absolutely necessary. Charles provides.
Hell yeah. Love that fresh SCP smell
Yea it kinda smells like *######* Cognitohazard removed*
Mmmm, sterilize environment smell.
Sterile environment with a whiff of ether 😮
I love how the author just leaves it a generic superstore until that last line and then makes it obvious just to be a prick.
If you're interviewing for a job, and the manager tells you "we're a family company", watch out.
Most often it's the Corleones, but sometimes it the Mansons.
Is it ever both? X_x
Worked at a supercenter like this before, can confirm accuracy of these reports. Charles provides.
As a former employee of Wallyworld, and someone who lived near both locations listed in the SCP, I wholeheartedly enjoyed this one
Greene County doesn't get enough recognition for its rich Fifthist history 😅
As a former Walmart employee, and this scp actually being in my area make this one amazing.
Charles Provides.~
We probably worked at the same Walmart haha
-Marceline Raynes
Babe wake up , Volgun uploaded !
Someone makes this comment every time ... this one's my turn.
Integrate this with the "Endless IKEA" and a further dimension of horror could be discovered.
Maybe add in that "perfectly legal, thank you very much." SCP too, it looks like they'd get along nicely.
The big three of "what do they do with all the cars."(inadvertently came up with an scp prompt😂)
Calm down, Dr. Bright
I can easily imagine something similar happening being responsible for the IKEA. Like some greedy CEO strikes a deal with an Elder god in a monkey's-paw-style pact to "infinitely boost sales" and the result is SCP-3008.
wouldn't that be more like an "Infinite WallMart"?@@bugjams
To be fair upstate NY needs all the help it can get so I don't blame managers for joining the occult.
Creepy. Excellent voice acting! Also, although people may have complained but I enjoy/miss your “personal” comments at the end of some of these videos ☺️
As someone who regularly shops at THESE EXACT WALMART SUPERCENTERS in Catskill and Hudson, can confirm, this is all true. I don't have much time....
SFS'ism🤣🏆
This SCP is golden😎
Fifthist content oh this is bound to be a good lecture doc
Remember CHARLES PROVIDES, can I get a resounding Amen from my fellow store workers!
I love all your work dearly mr volgun, youve helped with my insomnia more than anything else in the world
I also enjoy some Volgun videos at night, but fear, however trivialized by the medium, isn't too good for sleep. Try listening to John Michael Godier for this, he doesn't have any scary ambient sounds or variating voices, he's like a balm on your sleeping eyes.
@@crabofchaos7881you'd be surprised how many horror narrators get "I use this to fall asleep" comments.
@@justinsmith5870 could you namedrop some cool spoken word horror youtubers that you know? I'm more about spoken word than horror, but I don't mind a new voice in my head lol
@@justinsmith5870 yeah im sure lots do, but volgun is my one-and-only because before i do fall asleep i get to enjoy the highest quality and best voice acted horror content around
Top tier videos to sleep too. His voice is so calming and gives me an excuse to rewatch to catch the end of some
Oh, nothing like a good Fifthist splinter cult at your local Walmart.
I like to think cult store has a rival called Lovecraft & Beyond!
OMG LMFAO 🤭🤭😊😊🤣🤣🤣
Half the vibe is comidic and the other half is just existential horror
"Now let's save money and live better"
No way. This had to be a joke SCP
Dunno, but those last few words told me EVERYTHING about this SCP's identity (I know a couple ppl who work(ed) at a Walmart here in NC, and I bet they **might** get a kick out of this entry lol
Yeah that line just made me think about how likely this this would be in a universe with magic.
And beware the great unproductive one Steve.
Having just been hired by Walmart, this feels...plausible
I was just about to sleep but screw it, Volgun time❤
Average retail experience
It's nice to see other species participating in the miracle of capitalism :)
I would rather work with a fifthists than a last thursdayist any time! 👍
Love to be early to a good lecture😇
Uhhhhhhhhhh this is literally 1 town from my house(Hudson) and I shop at that walmart lol
All this extra work and no benefits smh. This cult really needs a Union.
SCP 3125 is the union 😂
charles moment
Thanks TheVolgan, keep up the good work.
Currently listening to this as I stock at Kroger. That explains the new guy from corporate I keep seeing in my nightmares
😢
Remedy entertainment should hire you to help with control 2. You could do backgrounds on creatures, add videos in games related to the various items, make marketing material related to the game etc. It would be such a perfect fit.
Can confirm. If a customer has a complaint they get consumed and reborn. Charles provides.
I wonder why Dr. Miller never gives morning lectures🤔
As soon as he started "going native" he should've been pulled and "the department" raided. Sloppy work Foundation.
With how many orders they just ramped my sfs location to, I might have to resort to thaumaturgy
In the description of your videos can you add in the class, disruption and risk class what they mean please. It would make understanding the new stuff a bit easier for those who dont know it.
There is an older video explaining it. it would probably be a bit of bloat to explain in the description what Keter means though.
although I agree it's a bit confusing, which is probably why even though it's a better system than the classic, it didn't see mass adoption.
So, Climbing the Walls Mart meets Amashlong run by the Fifth Church. Demented and FUN like a 5th scp should be.
You know this is the fourth video I watched today where the like count on it for me was 989 before I clicked like.
Brother, get the flamer...
..No, HEAVY FLAMER!
Nope, heavy INCINERATOR! Don't want to be anywhere near this one! :D
Pretty fascinating SCP. Remind me of a similar "living corporation entity" from Marvel comics.
I worked for walmart and i kept fighting between amusement and slight horrow that holy shit it might as well be a cult. Most unrealustic thing is consistent shifts and getting out on time. Esp if you were a cashier.
I wanna show this to everyone that I work with at fed ex
I heard the words "picker" and "packer," I thought "Amazon" and was like "Well, good thing I left!"
early SCPs are the best, seriously
Like socks in the dryer, warehouse drones gradually disappear and are replaced by others. Charles has the socks.
yipee
I am also a retail worker. And in a single year of transfer to a store closer to company HQ it felt different. I make jokes like "One of US" now, but I honestly dont feel like the company that employs me is malevolent. But the feeling of cultural separation is a lil weird. At the very least we dont pray to our founder as a deity.
"Save money, Live better" *gets C&D'd by Walmart
LOL
Fifthist SCPs are always so fucking weird 😂😂😂
As a current walmart employee of 7 years i fucking love this!
When you’re company says “We like to think we’re a family here.”
Another former Walmart employee here. This gave me chills in the bed east way. Thank you.
17:56 "now let's save money, and live better" 🤔 wait a minute
As a European, this is what i think of Walmart
Honestly not the wildest thing I've seen happen in a supercenter
Do you find fifthist and skarkic SCP's get more traction than others?
The thing with SCPs is that there is such a variety in all aspects. This one probably sits well with someone familiar with the setting but otherwise it’s pretty silly 😅
Shhh we’re not supposed to talk about the true teachings of the mart.
Religions are always about the prophet's profits.
I look forward to Volgun every weekend. The audio, pictures, and editing are always excellent.
Can’t go to ikea can’t go to Walmart what’s next evil gas station?