First, this has been THE MOST helpful thing on UA-cam for me. Second, I am definitely an anxious preoccupied person. I find when watching this, as a parent...I am great at validation, as well as letting them know that feelings are okay. We all love to cuddle and we use our words. I also have moments where my anxiety feeds off of my oldest anxiety and it's much more difficult to deal with. I do NOT want to raise my kids to be insecure like me! I've seen a behaviorist, and therapy for my oldest (she's 10) as well as stay in contact with her pediatrician and school. I've learned a lot in terms of parenting. HOW can I raise them to have a secure attachment, when I am not there yet?? Will they grow to be like me!?
Just do the best you can. It sound like you love your kids a lot and really care. Keep learning and working on yourself in the meantime, as the healthier you get, the better you will be able to parent your kids. And keep surrounding yourself and your kids with healthy people who are good role models, as you all can soak up some of their security and use it to strengthen yourselves.
This is very helpful! It makes me realize how anxious I am in situation where I could be more confident. It gives me a sense of what I could do to improve my inner life. Thanks you so much for these videos!
I really needed this video, I recently became really attached to a guy I’m talking to and he became my favorite person, I started noticing my bad behaviors coming out again and it’s the weekend and I can’t see or talk to my therapist at the moment. Thank you so much for this video it really helped me a lot ❤❤
Is there actually cases of ''secure attachment '' parenting and healthy minds. Everyone i ever knew was some kind of disordered fragmented mess like me. You seem like a pure soul tho maybe there's hope🙂
Hi there, Believe it or not, they actually say that about 50% of people have a secure attachment style. (This rate is much lower among people in mental health settings.) But the good news is that even if you start out with an insecure or disorganized style, there are ways to move toward an "earned secure" style even later in life.
I would argue that this is us is a show about an insecurely attached family with layers of intergenerational trauma. That is literally the premise of the show. Have you actually watched it? I stopped watching it because the characters are so unhealthy.
It’s interesting that you say that because Diane Poole Heller gave it as an example of a family with secure attachment. Even through they have a lot of issues, there is live throughput and they know how to move from rupture to repair.
You should have 1,000,000 more followers
Thanks so much… tell your friends! 😉
First, this has been THE MOST helpful thing on UA-cam for me. Second, I am definitely an anxious preoccupied person. I find when watching this, as a parent...I am great at validation, as well as letting them know that feelings are okay. We all love to cuddle and we use our words. I also have moments where my anxiety feeds off of my oldest anxiety and it's much more difficult to deal with. I do NOT want to raise my kids to be insecure like me! I've seen a behaviorist, and therapy for my oldest (she's 10) as well as stay in contact with her pediatrician and school. I've learned a lot in terms of parenting. HOW can I raise them to have a secure attachment, when I am not there yet?? Will they grow to be like me!?
Just do the best you can. It sound like you love your kids a lot and really care. Keep learning and working on yourself in the meantime, as the healthier you get, the better you will be able to parent your kids. And keep surrounding yourself and your kids with healthy people who are good role models, as you all can soak up some of their security and use it to strengthen yourselves.
This is very helpful! It makes me realize how anxious I am in situation where I could be more confident. It gives me a sense of what I could do to improve my inner life. Thanks you so much for these videos!
Awh, you’re welcome. Glad they were helpful to you!
Excellent explanation! So helpful to see how it plays out as we get older and what we can do about it.
Yep! Teal is amazing😊❤️
I really needed this video, I recently became really attached to a guy I’m talking to and he became my favorite person, I started noticing my bad behaviors coming out again and it’s the weekend and I can’t see or talk to my therapist at the moment. Thank you so much for this video it really helped me a lot ❤❤
Glad to hear it was helpful. Best of luck with your relationship. 🙏💕
The content is great!
Thank you for these videos. They're very informative.
Amazing job
Very helpful!!!
this just feels way too ideal to be realistically achievable. i just want to die.
😒
Is there actually cases of ''secure attachment '' parenting and healthy minds. Everyone i ever knew was some kind of disordered fragmented mess like me. You seem like a pure soul tho maybe there's hope🙂
Hi there,
Believe it or not, they actually say that about 50% of people have a secure attachment style. (This rate is much lower among people in mental health settings.)
But the good news is that even if you start out with an insecure or disorganized style, there are ways to move toward an "earned secure" style even later in life.
Which shows and movies u can recommend to watch secure attachment apart from"this is us"?
Off the top of my head… maybe Young Sheldon, The Golden Girls, The Goldbergs, Modern Family.
I would argue that this is us is a show about an insecurely attached family with layers of intergenerational trauma. That is literally the premise of the show. Have you actually watched it? I stopped watching it because the characters are so unhealthy.
It’s interesting that you say that because Diane Poole Heller gave it as an example of a family with secure attachment. Even through they have a lot of issues, there is live throughput and they know how to move from rupture to repair.
@@jennifermayph.d.2761 Oh. Oops. Well, I guess that's more about me than it is about them! Point taken. :)