Why do you keep losing sense restraint?

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  • Опубліковано 7 лис 2024

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  • @sila7460
    @sila7460 Рік тому +25

    No matter what I think and do my entire existence is rooted in desire, aversion and distraction.
    In order to find a way out of this tragic situation, I must accept the fact of being locked in the domain of ignorance and start working from the inside out, that is, making choices that are beneficial and avoiding those that are not.
    In other words, start the Gradual Training.
    This is the way I understand it.

    • @Nuva_
      @Nuva_ Рік тому +3

      I'm in the same place...

    • @robbiepeterh
      @robbiepeterh Рік тому +3

      Good luck

    • @fingerprint5511
      @fingerprint5511 Рік тому +2

      That's wisdom speaking, well done and keep going, the Buddha said this so very difficult but not impossible, blessings 🙏🏻

    • @deela262
      @deela262 6 місяців тому

      Felt the same way when I started, after taking refuge in the Buddha and His Teachings..., and then abiding by a strong resolution to keep the 5 precepts.
      Since I needed some action/ activities to support the mind shift towards purity I immersed myself in rigorously"doing the " dasa punya kriya"(10 kinds of meritorious deeds) whilst heavily reflecting on virtues of Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha and of the Preciousness of Nibbana. This must have come from a past life tendancy, for years later I discovered the Mahanama Suttas on Anusssatis ( 6 types of reflections) .At that time I didn't know of any good monks to reach for advise nor had access to any resources on Dhamma so mostly proceeded based on advise given by my own "good consciousness".. keeping the precepts drove the mind towards becoming a person with metta for all living beings. Those were extremely Liberating and Joyful years that gave a jump-start to drag myself out of the previously defilement filled state.

  • @MrEyegee
    @MrEyegee 8 місяців тому +3

    Wonderful 🙏
    I feel like you guys are discussing me.

  • @zorananda
    @zorananda Рік тому +13

    This is a very clear message to be remembered so that one always knows who or what to hold accountable for one's loss of restraint.
    So to summ it up, if i understood it correctly , the loss of sense restraint and the subsequent acting out by body, speech and mind is gradually being built up and triggered by small, seemingly harmless acts of consciously engaging in distractions, which in turn are pursued as a coverup ,so to say, because one does not endure the buildup of pressure on the mental level.
    What makes it so difficult to endure the pressure to act out of sensuality, is the inability to see immediate benefit of endurance , because we are used to equate any benefit with more sensual pleasure.
    Whereas the immediate effect of sense restraint is actually more pain.....
    From a puthujjana's point of view it feels kind of disempowering to hear that the only way out of that dilemma is not through the instant fix of direct insight of the unownability of one's body, mind and feelings, but by cuting off those fuels for sense desires and just having faith that it will take you to sotapatti eventually.

    • @saxy1player
      @saxy1player Рік тому +4

      The immediate effect of restraint is not more pain. That pain is there whether you restrain or you follow the desire. Following the desire seems more pleasant because you ignore that pain that is driving that whole pursuit; if you regain perspective you realize that pain does not go away with chasing pleasure (which is only as pleasurable as much as you manage to ignore that pain through focusing on sense objects)

    • @zorananda
      @zorananda Рік тому +3

      @@saxy1player agreed, the restraint only uncovers the underlying pain. It reveals the full extent of the spiritual illness.
      Nevertheless , sense restraint equals the experience of more pain for everyone who values sensuality.

  • @alakso777
    @alakso777 5 місяців тому +1

    🙏🏼

  • @shelinahetherington4661
    @shelinahetherington4661 Рік тому +2

    Absolutely brilliant discussion. Thank you so much. Confession great tip to minimise further slippage.🙏🏽

  • @thobraa
    @thobraa Рік тому +1

    Thank you.

  • @cz1624
    @cz1624 Рік тому +14

    I want to confess that I broke the precepts and succumbed to sensual desire.
    I am addicted to sensual desire. I know full well it is bad for me in the long run, but it always seems good for me in the moments before succumbing. I need to have faith in the fact that it is bad for me and restrain myself from acting on it even when the reasons are not so clear.
    My hope is that this can help me more clearly see the innocuous daily experiences that gradually accumulate the pressure to act out so that I may never act out again.
    Next time I feel a great pressure to act out I will recognize this pressure, accept that it is influencing me and, if necessary, act out in a way that minimally breaks sense restraint, like go for a walk if possible.

    • @OgdenM
      @OgdenM Рік тому +5

      If you can't quit cold turkey, find a less engrossing, distracting etc AND more wholesome sense pleasure to replace the other one. I think they even mention it in this video.
      Like, even turn folding laundry into a sense pleasure. Or cleaning the house etc. Cooking, going for a walk etc. The more useful the act the better.
      But, I find that even something so simple as rubbing two fingers together can sometimes be enough to replace a less wholesome & more distracting sense pleasure.
      Or there is always investigation of why that sense desire is appearing... But that can be hard when in the thick of it. I've heard teachers suggest only doing that investigation from a place of peace and when the desire isn't there. But, also that if you can create space from it while in the middle of it you can potentially see more of its shape and scope and source... Kinda like being above the eye of a tornado I guess. But getting there can be difficult.

    • @fingerprint5511
      @fingerprint5511 Рік тому +1

      Just know that it's not 'you' and this is what the Citta has been carrying for eons. Khanti, patience and metta 🙏🏻

  • @j.m.kocsis2557
    @j.m.kocsis2557 Рік тому +2

    Thank you, Venerables.

  • @SBCBears
    @SBCBears Рік тому +18

    I see often laypersons attempting advanced practices without laying the foundation for them. They cherry-pick passages from the suttas to justify their personal practice selections. This kind of practice, in itself, can develop into an insidious distraction, fooling us into thinking we are on the path to stream entry. As puthujjana we must go through a lot of trying out and discarding our notions, but it is hard to know when to discard or to keep to a practice.

    • @ramdhiwakarseetharaman5989
      @ramdhiwakarseetharaman5989 Рік тому +4

      Thanks for pointing this out. It helps me be aware that I could be on this track.

    • @Erik-S-
      @Erik-S- Рік тому +4

      Yes. When we cherry-pick passages to suit our personal practice (This I like, but this I don't like. This I like, but this I don't like), what we are practically saying is this: On this point the Buddha was right, but on this point he was a bit wrong. On this point he was right, but on this point he was a bit wrong.
      In other words, we compare the personal views we already have to the Suttas, as if to see if the Buddha's wisdom reaches the lofty heights of our own. Which is not the mentality of a true student. We will never get true understanding of the Dhamma as long as we keep on doing that. Because we are still too arrogant to listen to a teacher.

    • @OgdenM
      @OgdenM Рік тому +3

      But didn't the Buddha teach different things to different people based on who and where they were along the path?
      This would imply that not all teachings apply to everyone.
      All though, I think it's more of he taught different methods to people. But, the goals were always the same.
      Ergo, sense restraint is always needed. However, the way one does it can vary.
      So, if the Suttas are talking about how to do something, you can test it out and find methods that work for you... Ergo cherry pick. But if they are talking about core concepts and goals, not so much.. They apply to everyone.
      I heard a saying from a Tibetan teacher that was along the lines of "There are 8925 different teachings for 8925 different people."
      After listening to over 300+ talks from Theravada teachers, they feel the same way.
      Ergo, if one type of meditation isn't quieting the mind and leading to single point attention or samadhi, try another one the next time. If you end up not finding one that works, well then clearly you are doing something wrong with all of them. But, frequently you find one that works and that enables you to get others to work.

  • @9tee2
    @9tee2 Рік тому +2

    Dear friends in Dhamma,
    I have been enjoying your talks for many months and find Ajahn Nyanamol to have one of the clearest views of the Tathagata's teaching. I wish to make a suggestion as to the correct understanding of the Pali word 'avijja'. The sandhi should be broken down as follows: a = non or not; vi = complete; (j)ja = knowledge. This will result in the English word 'incomplete knowledge'. That is why 'vijja' means 'complete knowledge' and the 3 complete knowledges are what Buddha realized at the time of his enlightenment. You will remember that with complete knowledge incomplete knowledge was banished. Thank you for taking the time to read this, but if you disagree just forget about it. Sadhu. Sadhu. Sadhu.

  • @isvara5325
    @isvara5325 Рік тому

    Prostrations Bhante. Will this be uploaded on Spotify? Thank you. 🙏🙏🙏

  • @puthujjana9362
    @puthujjana9362 8 місяців тому +1

    Here is a confession of my breaking the five precepts. I am one of those people who practice alone, no community. I shouldn't be content with keeping them broken. I'm not going to give explanations or justification, just the straight up breaking of it. Most are before I knew about Buddhism but it is not a justification. This is just broadly throughout my life because none of it has been confessed. If I don't get right view I feel like I will near definitely go to hell.
    Killing
    I shot a dog, I beheaded a mouse with a shovel, I killed fleas and ticks with medicine and flea bombs, I crushed, drowned, and rubbed fleas harshly to kill them, killed flies with a fly swatter, not killing but I beat my step father.
    Stealing
    I stole gum from a convenience store, meant to steal a gaming console, I broke into a house by breaking the window.
    Lies
    Lied to my partner about watching porn, lied to someone about my dog dying, lied about my grandmother dying, lied to my mother about breaking an antique.
    Sexual misconduct
    I haven't cheated or been with others, but taking this as celibacy then sex without the intent to reproduce and porn fit here. Porn could be considered disloyal to partner, if I recall correctly nandas mother didn't have disloyalty to her husband even in thought.
    Intoxicants
    Weed, LSD, alcohol
    I practice 8 precepts but I consistently get overwhelmed, or start leaking in one place like indulging in sleep or eating wrongly which builds up into a break in celibacy or entertainment. I am tired of acting in ways I regret down the line.

    • @djanpo993
      @djanpo993 Місяць тому +1

      You can pick yourself up where you are and start again, trying with more determination.
      Beware of the possible Christian baggage of having to atone for sins, and such. To not act in an unwholesome manner in the present is all you can control.
      Take care

  • @cliffmilbrun2803
    @cliffmilbrun2803 Рік тому +4

    He just made a video about how people get scholastic like thats supposed to free them from suffering. Etymology of avijja wont free us from it. You can have all the knowlege and still not be free

    • @OgdenM
      @OgdenM Рік тому +2

      As someone who has always asked "Why" about everything.. I can attest to that.
      Mediation taught me that asking why and gaining more knowledge was frequently just causing me more suffering.

  • @OgdenM
    @OgdenM Рік тому

    Hrm, a mendicant that lives alone in the forest and spends most of the time sleeping is better off than one who lives in a monastery and socializes?
    Hmm, I'm a lay person. (for now)
    But, this resonates with me. Pretty much all I want to do most of the time is meditate and sleep. And go for walks or maybe "workout" when there is to much energy for the first two.
    I've been distracting myself instead with media etc etc when I get sleepy.. And it's utterly horrible and counter productive.
    I guess I'll switch to the whole walk when sleepy or water splashing.. And if those don't work, just sleep.
    Or just try sleeping when there is a feeling of sleepyness and either end up meditating or sleeping.
    .. And anyways, sleep isn't the same any more for me sometimes. More so naps. It's more like I go right into dreams fully conscious and even frequently still aware of the physical body the whole time. Then eventually come out of that state back to the physical and just let the dream fade away.
    I've actually been kinda like that for years.. But it's gotten more prevalent since I started mediation. And it totally makes sense to me.
    The hard part in it is NOT getting engaged /evolved in the mind made worlds of dreams(or even thoughts) .. They are so much more engrossing and fabulous then the physical world can ever be.
    I do still deep sleep though where the physical reality vanishes.
    Have yet to get to the state of the physical vanishing during meditating though. But close... I think I'm just way too fascinated by the feeling of it vanishing during meditation to actually get it to vanish. I keep on finding smaller and more subtle things to pay attention to. Ergo, breath vanishes and the heart beat gets loud and prevalent. I will even sometimes just observe the pulse in a finger tip.