Seeing the crab-like features, and considering crabs’… reputation with corpses, would the PerfectBeachBody consuming the occasional drowning victim be unethical?
PerfectBeachBody (PP) aside, from the human aspect it would be unethical not to devour your fellow man (whether drowned or alive) because if you don’t then what did they die for?
The perfect beach body should always include the aggression and punching speed of a mantis shrimp. How else will you make a public beach a private one faster than the speed of light?
We can be mammals but our babies should be birthed in some sort of protective material so they do not scorch in the sun. Perhaps something made of calcium? I can’t believe I’m having to do nature’s job for it!
This is like that one time my father went to the doctor saying that his problem was sweat getting in his eyes while working, and he got replied with "Well try not to sweat."
I love how the first three steps literally involve turning into a furry. But honestly knowing how hot people say fur suits get, combined with the coastal setting, thats fucking terrifying
With fursiuters there is technicality floofy fur (most of furries go for that kind) does trap a lot of air, air is good isolation so you are being cooked alive, she is talking about not floofy kind of fur that provides shade
Well done. Another educational, artistic extravaganza of a video. Maybe added lung capacity for extra time underwater, and a little color variation for camouflage.
So... Being a Furry can be considered a "perfect beach body"? Also everything keeps on evolving into crabs,since crabs are peak of "perfect beach body", and peak of evolution.
Your channels reminds me of a dark cartoonist comic Era. Somethong like a Wednesday from Adam's family blog but if she had more character than a slate of rock
the PBB should also include retractable stalk-eyes to check for predators when buried in sand/more efficiently ogle attractive-but-suboptimal beach-goers in order to propagate the vital mutations.
you need a looong beak like sand pipers to reach muscles and crabs under the sand. additionally you would need to have a high up nose to avoid breathing in sand, and your eyes would need to move farther up so you can see if any predators try to swoop in and snatch you.
I think developing a tail flipper would be better than replacing a leg, because that would still allow for easier running, but still give benefit of better swimming
@@thepoopieshow ah yes perfect, I also have to listen to genetically induced body horrors made by aliens to fuel some of my dreams. Last speculative biology I thought of, was the possibility of using the mycelium as a brain of an alien. These kinds of things are very cool - Respect.
I would speck into burrowing more, becoming a human sand mole. Being bored would help protect from the sun. The ability to travers underground would be grate for stealth, both in ambushing pray, and stealing food. You can find treasure to seal or keep. You wouldn't even be excluded from the water. Manny burrowing animals are actually good swimmers, most famously moles and snakes*. So personally, I would speck into mole people, with the eyes of an Arabian Sand Boa. * (Yes not all snakes are brewing, however their snaky body were evolved to similar conditions. Their was a debate whether snakes evolved the way they do to below or swim. I don't know where that debate whent, but personally I'm more keen to the former. Ether way, point still stands.)
Almost perfect, wouldn't change much. But instead of replacing an arm for a crab arm, I think it would be better to gain to additional arms that are crab arms. Like a messed up Machamp. And instead of a flipper foot, a dolphin tail, for max mobility on land still as well as the water. And the ability to consume plastic. I already eat it, but I don't find it filling.
some mentis shrimp or octopus eyes could be useful, filtering light both in air and water, you can focus some colors and better distinguish all sort of things and you are protected from the sun sunglasses free
Why not beach colored fur instead of white? You need the camouflage for more efficient hunting. Also in my opinion the claw must look like a fish so you go underwater, stick it out and wave it. A bird swoops down to grab it and the fishclaw goes "SNAP"!
Bro every video on this channel is this bro yappin on about something completely unrelated from the title for 2-5 minutes. I’ve watched 3 video so far but correct me if I’m wrong 🎉🎉🎉
I have the perfect beach body, at least for my needs. I'm thin so I don't get tangled in seaweed. I have the best type of foot for sandals. I don't burn, even though I'm white as milk, paper, and coconut meat. I'm lanky, so I've got plenty of arm room to carry bags, the picnic basket, the sand toys, etc. Also, when I say thin, I mean I have no fat or meat on my bones, so no sharks/marine predators would want to eat me, anyways lmao- Edit: I prefer hiking, anyways.
I see you’ve overlooked just one small detail: the perfect beach body needs to compensate for the blinding rays of the sun. Weak, maladapted Homo Sapiens Sapiens use sunglasses to protect their under developed eyes, but Homo Sapiens Beaches will need their own inbuilt method to deal with the sun. I suggest a series of additional eye lids with polarized filters at different angles on each lid. With this new biological tool Homi Sapiens Beaches can strategically open and close combinations of lids to let in the optimal amount of light for any condition. Of course to take maximum advantage of this new tool Homo Sapiens Beaches will need to calibrate their base vision for night time, likely losing many of the cones in their eyes as a result.
I prefer the nuclear fusion option. Who needs to eat when u have a nuclear reactor for a digestive system? And what being would dare mess with u when ur leaking radiation
Nah, I'd just body-hop by putting my brain into a suitable body and I even gain all memories, talents and skills even though I have to remove the brain to put my brain in there so I dont know how the memory thing works without the host bodys brain. A few dead giveaways are probably the obvious stitches/scar around the head and if the cap is removes my brain has teeth and can talk + its quite the bit more sturdy than a usual one as it has to survive moving from one body to the other while staying intact. One downside of course but a necessity is that the host-body must die before or at least in the moment where I remove the brain it does. Wouldnt it be mad funny if we merged all people of one country and see what happens??🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤😊😊😊
It's almost as hilarious as this one donkey I saw, that, can you believe it, was eating some figs😂😂😂 WHY NOT GIVE IT SOME WINE TO WASH IT DOWN, I thought😂 So I gave it a bowl of wine AND IT FREAKING DRANK IT😂😂😂 I LITERALLY DIED OF LAUGHTER 😂😂😂 Well that's at least a memory of one of my host bodies from a few thousand years ago😂😂 So funny tho😂
Lol. Love the content, but that's one hell of a suggestion: Wait several million years to evolve appropriate adaptations to live comfortably without modifying our environment. Less than a year in almost all cases to build a house vs ~2 million years for evolution.
Seeing the crab-like features, and considering crabs’… reputation with corpses, would the PerfectBeachBody consuming the occasional drowning victim be unethical?
perfect beach body (patent pending) has no regard for ethics or morals.
Everything becomes crab
@@mansb3528I concur
Crab knew what was up!
PerfectBeachBody (PP) aside, from the human aspect it would be unethical not to devour your fellow man (whether drowned or alive) because if you don’t then what did they die for?
The perfect beach body should always include the aggression and punching speed of a mantis shrimp. How else will you make a public beach a private one faster than the speed of light?
good point, I bet u could even punch a tsunami away with that type of power
lol the creativity
Reject Humanity go back to Crustaceans!
The perfect beach body… Is a body of water!
I wish I fkn thought of that.
true
Hey, I'm 70% there!
@@harcoonlove4291 real
I am convinced that humans werent designed to go to the beach. Goodbye forever, Poseidon
Poseidon has been dead since 40AD
This is actually the greatest video I've ever watched in my life. Rewatching it for the third time, and it only gets better!!!
have you seen the kid that really likes bacon from 'wife swap'? bc that's the greatest video. but also thank u :-->
Can confirm! Just checked Bacon Boy is Lit. Poopie close second though. :)@@thepoopieshow
@@thepoopieshow checked it after your recommendation and it is great, but i think your vod is charming in a different way
Keep trying to cope buddy!
I like bacon
Thank you Poopie, i now know exactly how to obtain the most optimal beach body for hot summer days!
Thanks! I will be super ready for summer now.
you're welcome, that's the idea!
The optimal beach body would need oil glands as well to keep fur clean and water resistant. As long as we are still mamals.😊
We can be mammals but our babies should be birthed in some sort of protective material so they do not scorch in the sun. Perhaps something made of calcium? I can’t believe I’m having to do nature’s job for it!
Up until about 3:00, the perfect beach body apparently describes my grandpa.
This is like that one time my father went to the doctor saying that his problem was sweat getting in his eyes while working, and he got replied with "Well try not to sweat."
I love how the first three steps literally involve turning into a furry. But honestly knowing how hot people say fur suits get, combined with the coastal setting, thats fucking terrifying
With fursiuters there is technicality floofy fur (most of furries go for that kind) does trap a lot of air, air is good isolation so you are being cooked alive,
she is talking about not floofy kind of fur that provides shade
@@pimbel8830 White also reflects the most light, making your fur not boil under the sun
@@Netukom yes
Once you become a furry you'll find fur suits even hotter
Well done. Another educational, artistic extravaganza of a video. Maybe added lung capacity for extra time underwater, and a little color variation for camouflage.
But what if I want my Ass to be a Volkswagen 31-320 E Muldenkipper?
that does come with its own set of evolutionary benefits
Very informative, will take notes for the future
I never thought of half of the features, this is pretty helpful! Now I won't have any problems opening my bottles.
didnt think id hear her drop an all tomorrows reference
As someone who lives in alaska, I think if I followed this guide I would freeze to death (not to mention the general lack of sand on our beaches)
Why do you live in Alaska???
@@valrossenOliver why do you not live in alaska
Abs will definitely help you survive, trust me and my shredded abs lol
praise be to the algorithm for showing me this
So... Being a Furry can be considered a "perfect beach body"? Also everything keeps on evolving into crabs,since crabs are peak of "perfect beach body", and peak of evolution.
Carcinization my beloved
Love the all tomorrows reference
Why are you so calm? Where is the 0.69 second attention span excitement inflation?
You make my ears feel comfy ♡
Perhaps we replace one lung with a gill?
yeah, but then we wouldn't be a mammal anymore, or a coastal dweller, maybe a blow hole would've been good though
@@thepoopieshow I think that would be our mouths. Sort of a multi-purpose orifice. Like a cloaca.
I learned something today, Thanks Poopie!
Seals, and sea otters can drink sea water along others that I didn't know.
This is totally Epic, and I agree , that's the beach body 😂😊🎉
and it's my new year's goal now!
I think you could forgo some of the adaptations if we just take advantage of all the trash around, and do as the hermit crabs do.
Look at me, I'm doing it right now! 🦀
(I live in the trash.)
Your channels reminds me of a dark cartoonist comic Era. Somethong like a Wednesday from Adam's family blog but if she had more character than a slate of rock
She reminds me of the indie adventure point and click game, _Little Missfortune._ Especially the accent.
"Fancyyy~"
the PBB should also include retractable stalk-eyes to check for predators when buried in sand/more efficiently ogle attractive-but-suboptimal beach-goers in order to propagate the vital mutations.
you need a looong beak like sand pipers to reach muscles and crabs under the sand. additionally you would need to have a high up nose to avoid breathing in sand, and your eyes would need to move farther up so you can see if any predators try to swoop in and snatch you.
This is the best tutorial on the subject
I think developing a tail flipper would be better than replacing a leg, because that would still allow for easier running, but still give benefit of better swimming
Interesting. Very interesting.
Merry Christmas 🎄🌲🌟⭐️🦌
Ah well i didnt expect the all tommorows reference there, appreciated though.
I sometimes just listen to it before i sleep as a bedtime story it's so brilliant, and speculative biology is my weakness
@@thepoopieshow ah yes perfect, I also have to listen to genetically induced body horrors made by aliens to fuel some of my dreams. Last speculative biology I thought of, was the possibility of using the mycelium as a brain of an alien. These kinds of things are very cool - Respect.
The geometrically perfect beach body contains round sand grains which squeak against eachother , which is why some beaches have squeaky sand .
10/10 video
Due to the intense sunlight, corneas capable of blocking most UV light would be ideal, as well as tougher skin to resist the abrasiveness of sand
this is beautiful
dolfin tail beter swiming and probobly helps burrowing
Love your sense of humor. Hop u gets lots of subs
This whole video is such an ace vibe.
"Sodium chloride"
Skeet: Actually dude, it's Salt.
I would speck into burrowing more, becoming a human sand mole. Being bored would help protect from the sun. The ability to travers underground would be grate for stealth, both in ambushing pray, and stealing food. You can find treasure to seal or keep. You wouldn't even be excluded from the water. Manny burrowing animals are actually good swimmers, most famously moles and snakes*. So personally, I would speck into mole people, with the eyes of an Arabian Sand Boa.
* (Yes not all snakes are brewing, however their snaky body were evolved to similar conditions. Their was a debate whether snakes evolved the way they do to below or swim. I don't know where that debate whent, but personally I'm more keen to the former. Ether way, point still stands.)
I LOVE ALL TOMORROWSSSSSSSSSS
I love that!😌
Almost perfect, wouldn't change much. But instead of replacing an arm for a crab arm, I think it would be better to gain to additional arms that are crab arms. Like a messed up Machamp. And instead of a flipper foot, a dolphin tail, for max mobility on land still as well as the water. And the ability to consume plastic. I already eat it, but I don't find it filling.
there should be a fully functional and controllable third eyelid to protect the human’s squishy eyes
and controllable nostrils, like sea lion’s
make sense. 🙂
everything evolves into a crab or turtle eventually
some mentis shrimp or octopus eyes could be useful, filtering light both in air and water, you can focus some colors and better distinguish all sort of things and you are protected from the sun sunglasses free
This was more fun than it should have been 😅
Like the all tomorrows reference
Why not beach colored fur instead of white? You need the camouflage for more efficient hunting. Also in my opinion the claw must look like a fish so you go underwater, stick it out and wave it. A bird swoops down to grab it and the fishclaw goes "SNAP"!
Keep in mind you want the fur to be short as well to help with sweating and swimming!
your voice is so cute 🥰 learned a lot :) took notes😂😂
2:53 *Carcinisation intensifies*
Everyone knows that crabs actually have the perfect beach body, that's why everything becoming into crab.
*immediately checks to see if Volkswagen makes dump-trucks*
Everything eventually evolves into a crab.
This is an extremely elaborate form of shitpost and I love it.
"Imagine you are you. Ew! Gross. Pathetic." 💀
I woupdnt mind like a second set of transparent eyelids for swimming and idk how much a tail going to set me back ? Tail>single flipper
Bro every video on this channel is this bro yappin on about something completely unrelated from the title for 2-5 minutes. I’ve watched 3 video so far but correct me if I’m wrong 🎉🎉🎉
I just wanna point out - we FIXED the ozone layer! at least sort of. it's stopped getting worse and is gradually going back to its pre-cfc self!
The crab people from South Park have the optimal beach body.
So we must becomes crab/cat/rabbit/camel/etc hybrids? Sounds good.
Mothman. I should not need to say more.
With the help of crisper it is a mater of time until everyone gets the perfect beach body
Thank you poopie. Maybe some chameleon \ octopus colour shifting abilities would be helpful to hide from Karens
The perfect beach body is crab. Crab is the ultimate lifeform. Everything will eventually evolve into crabs.
This did NOT go as i expected.
Time to speedrun evolution
No body is perfect without ranged weapons, so that claw had better be pistol-shrimp style.
I never knew that the Lorax: On Ice changed it’s name to the Lorax: Undefeated
Does getting crabs substitute the need for the crab arm?
So long story short, the perfect Beach Body is being poopie's fursona 👍
But Crabs are already perfect
This was actually kinda not kinda educational i will be honest.
Just the perfect mix of EDGY and EDUCATION.
yum.
Scrumptious.
I have the perfect beach body, at least for my needs. I'm thin so I don't get tangled in seaweed. I have the best type of foot for sandals. I don't burn, even though I'm white as milk, paper, and coconut meat. I'm lanky, so I've got plenty of arm room to carry bags, the picnic basket, the sand toys, etc. Also, when I say thin, I mean I have no fat or meat on my bones, so no sharks/marine predators would want to eat me, anyways lmao-
Edit: I prefer hiking, anyways.
I have the ultimate beach body
Source(s): me, the beach, my body
grublin please tell me you work with crispr
we need you to build the perfect beach generation
I see you’ve overlooked just one small detail: the perfect beach body needs to compensate for the blinding rays of the sun. Weak, maladapted Homo Sapiens Sapiens use sunglasses to protect their under developed eyes, but Homo Sapiens Beaches will need their own inbuilt method to deal with the sun. I suggest a series of additional eye lids with polarized filters at different angles on each lid. With this new biological tool Homi Sapiens Beaches can strategically open and close combinations of lids to let in the optimal amount of light for any condition. Of course to take maximum advantage of this new tool Homo Sapiens Beaches will need to calibrate their base vision for night time, likely losing many of the cones in their eyes as a result.
Gills are a must have allowing for long term swimming sessions
🔥🔥
What if I'm land based beach body?
I’m very sorry but the way my grandma made her coffee definitely didn’t taste bad. It tastes like when she made coffee for me
The "me" character (ew) looks like Bonk
how do I obtain this powerfull physique
pray to me, the poopie show.
lucid dreaming
Ok now give it W I N G S
Gills would be nice :3
Khajiit have the perfect beach body. Our tails can hold things while we swim like skooma. May your roads lead you to warm sands.
Having both gills and lungs somehow
Laser vision
now wat if you need food away from the beach you need the perfect everyday body and all the perfect bodyies then we combine them into the perfect body
I prefer the nuclear fusion option. Who needs to eat when u have a nuclear reactor for a digestive system? And what being would dare mess with u when ur leaking radiation
Nah, I'd just body-hop by putting my brain into a suitable body and I even gain all memories, talents and skills even though I have to remove the brain to put my brain in there so I dont know how the memory thing works without the host bodys brain.
A few dead giveaways are probably the obvious stitches/scar around the head and if the cap is removes my brain has teeth and can talk + its quite the bit more sturdy than a usual one as it has to survive moving from one body to the other while staying intact. One downside of course but a necessity is that the host-body must die before or at least in the moment where I remove the brain it does.
Wouldnt it be mad funny if we merged all people of one country and see what happens??🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤😊😊😊
It's almost as hilarious as this one donkey I saw, that, can you believe it, was eating some figs😂😂😂
WHY NOT GIVE IT SOME WINE TO WASH IT DOWN, I thought😂
So I gave it a bowl of wine AND IT FREAKING DRANK IT😂😂😂
I LITERALLY DIED OF LAUGHTER 😂😂😂
Well that's at least a memory of one of my host bodies from a few thousand years ago😂😂
So funny tho😂
Totally converted to a machine body running off solar energy.
clara...... what happend....2015?!
Lol. Love the content, but that's one hell of a suggestion: Wait several million years to evolve appropriate adaptations to live comfortably without modifying our environment.
Less than a year in almost all cases to build a house vs ~2 million years for evolution.
camels dont actually store water in their humps. its a large resevoir of fat.
Faline san collab when
I want to be a Quinkana eating everyone and thing until I die of pure awesomess.
Why have the perfect body when u could have the perfect life.