Something I've heard people say on UA-cam: "Don't worry kids, once you're out of high school, you'll *never* use algebra again." Consequence of taking this statement to heart: The sink at 3:56.
would low-key vibe with the giant hands if they didn't have such a strange pattern. like being held and cuddled by a giant who doesn't want to crush you so they just use their hands, maybe I'm just desperate for human contact.
You should get a mattress warmer and an electric blanket. Lay between both. If you need more pressure, weighted blanket on top of electric blanket. You're welcome.
I think that "depression zone" next to the bath tub is actually a drying zone. You fill it up with cat litter and then you just stand there until all the water has dripped off of you. Simple.
Don't forget to get the really fine dust-like cat litter! The more cat litter that gets embedded into your skin=better quality drying. It also doubles as a scrub if you feel like it!
My favorite part of the video was the moment when Jarvis clearly struggles to think of one (1) Audrey Hepburn movie and came up completely blank. 10/10 great recovery
@@pranavkarmarkar well now I'm curious. why do you dislike it? is there a backstory? has gold Jarvis man wronged you? these are the things I need to know
I would legit buy some of these just because it’s so stupid and weird it’s funny. Like I would totally decorate my living room with a mannequin lamp, hand cushions and a gun ceiling fan. It would weird the fuck out of my guests but it would be hilarious
5:19 You'd hate the false pockets they put on every woman's jeans. Same experience. Go to put something in your pocket only to learn you have been deceived
"It feels like turning on the lamp might be a little too intimate" Well, if that lamp has a body, you might be "turning on" that lamp in multiple ways. I hate myself for putting this thought out there
I actually really like the green bathroom with the stairs you could use the stairs as storage shelves instead of walking into your countertop. I LOVE that feet bed it’s well sculpted, someone put a lot of effort into making that.
@Kawaii Kandy As an American, I can criticize my own country for it's failings, but when I see a Brittish "person" speak ill of it, my blood runs red, white and blue./j
2:47 Well, you see, lamps ARE an enemy in a Nintendo game! In Mother, aka EarthBound Beginnings, the first enemy you fight is a sentient lamp and it kicks off the rest of the game. Jarvis’s intuition is spot on!
Okay, but the real crime here is that someone took a picture of a toilet paper roll pistol that says "Outlaw Country" without putting a roll on backwards. If you're gonna be an outlaw, at least own it.
I can’t tell if it’s conscious or not, but I swear he pushes his glasses back up or otherwise messes them after every especially witty comment and it’s hilarious I love it
I actually really like the strange architecture stuff (as long as it’s not inconvenient). I love weird stuff, so having some funky architecture in my house would be super cool!
Whos been waiting for this since seeing Jarvis's story
I didn't see it
Me
@@enxebre3436 not me
GOLD!!!
Not moi
broke: jail cell house
woke: foot bed house
now imagine a foot bed in the jail cell
@@AmandaPanda531 your mind is too powerful
@@spicycherrymilk9058 the world isnt ready
I saw this comment before finishing the video and EVEN THEN I wasn't ready
Bespoke: foot bed jail cell house
The countertop to tub stairs are obviously for your cat.
As if my cat ever needed a stair to just jump right into the countertop
@@javierrodrigo1009 It's to accommodate older kitties who can't jump so well anymore.
Catch me installing stairs to all the counters my cats arent supposed to be on when they get old, tbh.
That’s what I was thinking!
I thought it was for candles/flowers or something like that :)
That lamp looks like a working design for villainous minions for Spy Kids 3.
there's 4 spy kids movies
My first thought upon seeing that was, "Did Woody and a Thumb Thumb have a kid?"
Imagine having to sleep in the same room as it and in a half asleep state you see it and absolutely crap yourself
I think it looks like someone trying to hide but failing horribly
This feels like laughing with a close friend at dumb shit during a sleepover and I love it
Where it's like 2am where everything is funny
@@christopherminutolo9384 oh, so maybe wattpad comments aren’t as funny as i think, i just read wattpad at 1-6 am. yeah it sometimes lasts that long-
@@TPNsBiggestFan a
@@TPNsBiggestFan Uh ok???
Honestly this entire channel is like that, it's so good 😭
Not Jarvis saying “why have a light in front of your window” like nighttime is something that doesn’t exist
Lmfao
I was straight up looking for this comment because that was the first thing I thought too 😂
Thank you! I thought the same thing. Every kitchen I’ve ever had had a light right in front of the window. All like 4 of them!
yeah, but why in front? Like during the day, won't that just be an obstruction? there must be a better place for it right
theres so much better places for a light tho
What if the kitchen podium has four functioning drawers but they are all triangles to fit the space.
i think that if i saw triangle shaped drawers i would die on the spot
big brain time
Huh i didn t think to see you here
calm down satan
i like this song
The elevated bathroom looks like something somebody built after the sims platform update
XD
Was thinking the same thing
I actually kind of like the elevated bathroom. I'm dead serious.
@@spartanretro it was pretty but very confusing and pointless, ya know?
I was gonna say a lot of these rooms look like something I would build in the sims by accident
my mind automatically puts all these fails in the same house
Same
especially the guns
hand pillows on foot bed..... hmm
GoFundMe for Jarvis to get ownership of this house so that he can have all the in-unit dishwashers he needs
Yeah, same here lol
I really loved the split moment of fear when Jarvis realized he couldn't name an Audrey Hepburn movie off the top of his head.
1:58 what's that meme called where it's 4 images of a confused woman with math equations overlayed onto them???
"Meme da Nazaré", it's a brazillian meme
Something I've heard people say on UA-cam: "Don't worry kids, once you're out of high school, you'll *never* use algebra again."
Consequence of taking this statement to heart: The sink at 3:56.
the worst thing about that sink is that it would take less space to just put it in normally.
would low-key vibe with the giant hands if they didn't have such a strange pattern. like being held and cuddled by a giant who doesn't want to crush you so they just use their hands, maybe I'm just desperate for human contact.
why is this also me,, 🥺
You should get a mattress warmer and an electric blanket. Lay between both. If you need more pressure, weighted blanket on top of electric blanket. You're welcome.
Also, giant slap fights with friends. Flipping people off. The possibilities probably end but I don't know where.
guys you can just buy an anime dakimakura
i agree tbh, the idea itself isn't that bad but the pattern is atrocious
Adults: Nothing is free.
Jarvis: no
++
Lol
When he says “ceiling fan” so many times that you notice his ceiling fan fully rotating in the background for the rest of the video....
It took me so long to find it but, when I did, I couldn’t stop watching it
The false drawers made me SO MAD. they do in general, but that podium wasn’t even trying to make them look legit.
"Why do the toes look like they're playing piano?"
And then my drink came out my nose
I think that "depression zone" next to the bath tub is actually a drying zone. You fill it up with cat litter and then you just stand there until all the water has dripped off of you. Simple.
and if ur in a rush just spin in circles for a bit
All while your neighbors watch
I read that as "crying zone" and thought ah yes, that makes perfect sense
Don't forget to get the really fine dust-like cat litter! The more cat litter that gets embedded into your skin=better quality drying. It also doubles as a scrub if you feel like it!
@@someonenotsomeone8450 just like a chinchilla!
The hand pillows simulate the feeling of sleeping with the spy kids guard guys 😭
thumb thumb body pillow 😫🥵💦‼️
Omg 💀 😭
@@blemsed hows it feel to be the smartest and most valid person in human history?
every time he says "it is free" it's like he's trying to convince me
am I secretly being charged while watching these videos
It doesn't have a cost... in money
@@JustAskMeTV101 it has a value ... In Jarvis time
He only charge rubies
Sorry random internet person, I can't _give_ credit! Come back when you're a little more, mmmmm...... *PREMIUM*
It just eats your soul bit by bit
Jarvis:”But you know what?”
AD: “You are not defined by you multiple relapsing sclerosis”
This Jarvis is a lot more giggly than usual. I am grateful, for the laughter fills my heart with joy.
I’m so confused, he’s a little bit goofier here, but where’s his La Croix?
isn't that Drew Gooden's third channel?
you mean Cody’s fifth channel?
You mean Danny's second channel.
Maybe the La Croix was inside him all along...
I knew there was something missing
And now the foot bed and the hand pillows will get married and have babies whose horrific nature I don't even care to speculate on.
STOOOOOOOP
“If you don’t have below ground depression in your bathroom” unfortunately I only have depression. Nothing below ground about it
*the mole people are saddened*
@@acreativename7999 trust me so am i
How about having depression and wishing I was 6ft below ground? Eh... close enough🤷🏽♀️
Gun fan
Father: " hey kids who wants to play dodge the bullets?"
Kids: "we do"
Father: "OK" turns on gun fan
I gotta *hand* it to them, those pillows are certainly unique.
And that foot bed is toe-tally unique
@@caroliner.7628 ... I don’t know what to say lol
Man this comment and the first reply are so punny!
i always have depression in my bathroom. it may not be below-ground depression, but its a good start.
"Aubrey Hepburn": Breakfast at Tiffany's starring Drake confirmed.
That bed looks... Toes..Ty.... Heh ..........
Toe tally gross
🚪👈🏾
Get the hell out. 🚪
You watch Jarvis. Wow. Hi.
HELP
Imagine all these were in the same house and there's a zombie apocalypse and they just start grabbing their guns from these obscure spaces.
This gives me, you’re spending the night at your friends house and your looking at a crazy Instagram page. Vibes
“I need something is the world I don’t take seriously” is such a mood
Me: you wanna catch these hands?
Them: let’s go dude
**proceeds to have a pillow fight with giant pillow hands**
here for that premium content
S
Yep
Eeeee
We all are.
Fancy 🧐
idk why but I pictured someone crawling up the stairs out of that tub in the green bathroom and Gollum squatting on the counter to use the sink
Absolutely 100% what I was thinking too LMFAOOOOO!!
God, Jarvis saying that extra awkward "it is free" at the beginning of every Gold video gives me so much questionable serotonin
The "Goooooold" always gets me
It's clearly for premium users that only premium users get. It's part of the experience
alternative title: jarvis giggles at his own jokes for 13 minutes
He seemed high af, lol
Shut up it’s cute
@@markus5120 dude chill.
@@hyuckhyuck I am chill dude
@@markus5120 mhm.. Sureeeeee
As someone who sleeps with twenty pillows already, I would buy those hands if they came in a different fabric.
same!
velvet hands
same though
Its the fucking pattern that makes them weird. I would actually get one if they where white or just a flat color.
@@alastorbutwithagun i make velvet ones check my website www.campbellruggles.com and i take custom orders:)
Jarvis giggling uncontrollably at things makes my entire day
The kitchen ones is like an un-experienced builder in the Sims 4😂
The kitchen podium looks like someone was building in the sims
Me using side tables as kitchen islands in sims cause i only have once square of space 😂
It is impossible not to be cheered up by Jarvis’s adorable giggling in this video
Cringe.
@@92GreyBlue What is cringe about it?
3:15 you've heard of a kitchen island, that's a kitchen peninsula
My favorite part of the video was the moment when Jarvis clearly struggles to think of one (1) Audrey Hepburn movie and came up completely blank. 10/10 great recovery
The staircase to a toilet had me straight up rolling. "Whist I produce waste from my posterior I shall have the high ground in case of attack!"
"Don't make me give a speech on my kitchen podium" holy shit that was funny af
there's nothing I love more than when Jarvis calls me premium and a voice shouts "goold!" in the background
I actually dislike that "gooooold" shout but more power to you, fellow premium viewer
@@pranavkarmarkar well now I'm curious. why do you dislike it? is there a backstory? has gold Jarvis man wronged you? these are the things I need to know
I would legit buy some of these just because it’s so stupid and weird it’s funny. Like I would totally decorate my living room with a mannequin lamp, hand cushions and a gun ceiling fan. It would weird the fuck out of my guests but it would be hilarious
Having one of these would be like having a weird collector's item
I liked the revolver toilet paper holder, I feel like I’d laugh every time I saw it
You'd think it's all fun and games until the mannequin scares you at night, bands together with the hands and has access to the gun fan
Yes
I definitely want a mannequin lamp
I love how genuinely happy Jarvis seems in this video, I'm glad he's doing better
5:19
You'd hate the false pockets they put on every woman's jeans. Same experience. Go to put something in your pocket only to learn you have been deceived
The comment would have worked better if it were “That bathroom’s acute”
That’s what it was, Jarvis was just too much of an IDIOT to realize he was saying it wrong.
Alternatively: That’s acute bathroom
@@jasmineflowers3000 that’s what it said, Jarvis read it wrong. What a g o o f
Or “that’s acute bathroom”
@@dr.k8610 What a clown! Unlike us, UA-cam commenters.
I honestly love that green bathroom unironically. The "stairs" seem like shelves for bath items to me!
Or for a cat to get around, that's the first thing that comes to mind whenever I see steps humans can't really get much use out of
I would fill those babies with plants. Actually having shelving that’s out of the water a bit more than the ledge of the tub is nice.
What annoys me is the footprint of the bath is spa-sized, but the actual bathing space is regular-size. Why did they do that?
I feel like someone having these in their house is weird but I also think it would be hilarious to have a hotel with each room being weird af
You've perfectly described Japanese Love Hotels... yes they're exactly what you think they are
i’ve had nightmares about my furniture having limbs so this was a terrifying trip into the deep recesses of my memory. thanks jarvis!
"Jarvis Johnson's Favorite Scent: Jack Douglass" and "Enemy #1: 5 Minute Crafts" are the best credits lol
Jarvis: Audrey Hepburn... after finishing a long day of... filming...
*tries to think of an Audrey Hepburn movie*
...on set...
Well if he was trying to think of a 1920s movie she was in...
Haha I thought the same
I don’t want to seem like a weirdo, but I’m seriously considering an attempt at recreating those hands and putting them in my guest bedroom.
As an intimidation tactic on your guests?
Seriously, please do. I'd take a tutorial
Please do it! I imagine the reactions would be hilarious
Tell you guys what! If I do it, I will link a tutorial here 🤗
Please do, that sounds hilarious
“How much of a petri dish do u want ur toilet to be? -yes.”
“It gives ‘ascending to the throne’ a whole new meaning”
When Jarvis said "Free" I remembered that one ad that's like: Free? Free Free Free.
Oh god no
The peacock ad 🤦♀️
@@lableurose1747 pretty sure it's the turbotax ad
I don't need a below ground depression, I already have above ground depression
I love how much Jarvis seems to be enjoying himself in this video
i’ve stumbled to the premium side of youtube
Fancy 🧐
ive been here for awhile its nice
"It feels like turning on the lamp might be a little too intimate"
Well, if that lamp has a body, you might be "turning on" that lamp in multiple ways.
I hate myself for putting this thought out there
I hate that this actually could be the reason they made this lamp lol
I actually really like the green bathroom with the stairs you could use the stairs as storage shelves instead of walking into your countertop. I LOVE that feet bed it’s well sculpted, someone put a lot of effort into making that.
3:50 Jarvis. You can use the lamp when it's nighttime.
Some of these just look like someone who doesn’t understand interior design uses platforms in the Sims
as someone who doesn't understand interior design and uses platforms in the sims i can confirm i would do this
Jarvis: Why are there so many guns!?
**This is America intensifies**
*Laughs In russian*
@Michelle Yan America bad many guns no healthcare lots oppression.
lol!!!!! good one!!!!😂😂🤣🙂🤣🙂🙂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂🙂
@Kawaii Kandy As an American, I can criticize my own country for it's failings, but when I see a Brittish "person" speak ill of it, my blood runs red, white and blue./j
@Kawaii Kandy *plays bagpipe in scottish*
lol ur not much better
That kitchen podium is the most lonely island I've ever seen in a kitchen😥
His laugh is so dorky but in a wholesome way.
The excitement on Jarvis’s face explaining the topic made me smile like someone who can create their own serotonin. Ten stars.
This video is just Jarvis giving us a tour of his place
imagine all the times you would stub your toe on that awkward kitchen sink
Rick Astley for president
@@sweeflyboy amen
all this photos of the gun related designs are exactly what i imagine kaitlin bennett's house to look like and nobody can convince me otherwise
2:24
“It’s so normal”
“There’s no weird patterns”
“Everything is mostly white”
Poor Jarvis hated that room so much that he forgot windows don't provide a light source when it's night time.
Does Jarvis know about McMansionHell? I feel like Jarvis would like McMansionHell
The only thing that's missing is jarvis having a lacroix
But this isn’t his second channel where he gets a little goofier and wackier and drinks lacroix
@@ferdousikhanam5043 but...it *is* his second channel
@@galaxychill9578 this is his premium channel huge diffrence
the interior design of my sims houses:
10:34 imagine accidentally walking in on someone in the bathroom and you have to look up at them to make weird eye contact
Jarvis is the only UA-camr whose physical state hasn't degraded during quarantine.
Jarvis cannot decay, he can only grow stronger until he reaches his final form.
@@antiantiderivative this... _isn't_ his final form?
@@frosty_teacup only when he gets Jarvis Johnson! GOLD on a gold UA-cam plaque does it start
@@frosty_teacup who’s that Pokémon?!
I mean jacksepticeye got jacked over quarantine haha
I’m saving up for Jarvis Johnson Platinum
the elevated bathroom is to solve the bathroom hierarchy and feel empowered
2:47 Well, you see, lamps ARE an enemy in a Nintendo game! In Mother, aka EarthBound Beginnings, the first enemy you fight is a sentient lamp and it kicks off the rest of the game. Jarvis’s intuition is spot on!
5:59 missed an opportunity to say “you’re just shooting the breeze”
Jarvis is so underrated like omg
🥺
This should be a subreddit.
"r/crappydesign"
The mannequin at 2:58 looks like a Target was abandoned and then its energy became personified.
5:10 Silly Jarvis, it’s clearly four tiny triangular draws that slot together into the square! ❌
jarvis laughing at literally everything is something i want to see everyday
Okay, but the real crime here is that someone took a picture of a toilet paper roll pistol that says "Outlaw Country" without putting a roll on backwards. If you're gonna be an outlaw, at least own it.
nah the real crime was photographing the roll and not replacing it
I love how informal he is in this video, it’s nice to see him just laughing and having fun
I can’t tell if it’s conscious or not, but I swear he pushes his glasses back up or otherwise messes them after every especially witty comment and it’s hilarious I love it
I actually really like the strange architecture stuff (as long as it’s not inconvenient). I love weird stuff, so having some funky architecture in my house would be super cool!
Ikr same
The vibes in this video are so fucking impeccable
This mabe me realize how much the world needs a late night show hosted by Jarvis.
dear gold jarvis,
never change this look you have going on right now. it's _beautiful_
The tilted counters look like someone made a mistake with their house in the sims
Watching these videos is like hanging out with your friends and just laughing over nothing. Loving it.
I refuse to believe the hand pillows aren't a fetish thing.