Can Animals Commit Crimes?

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,7 тис.

  • @treeshakertucker5840
    @treeshakertucker5840 5 років тому +16133

    This is gloriously stupid and I love it!

    • @divusgaiusjuliuscaesar4657
      @divusgaiusjuliuscaesar4657 5 років тому +101

      I am disappointed at levels that cannot be described

    • @highlybased107
      @highlybased107 5 років тому +100

      how is this comment 2 weeks old and the video just came out

    • @lakrids-pibe
      @lakrids-pibe 5 років тому +16

      Definitely worth a detour to 14th century France

    • @krcrk
      @krcrk 5 років тому +37

      esems shirt patreon privilege

    • @ledibak7735
      @ledibak7735 5 років тому +44

      @@highlybased107 I guess the video was unlisted for 2 weeks for patrons.

  • @hogndog2339
    @hogndog2339 5 років тому +5065

    Judge: Do you have anything to say about this?
    Roof tile:
    Judge: Guilty

    • @TimThomason
      @TimThomason 5 років тому +364

      "You are hereafter exiled from this city."

    • @chamuchamupalchamperry6686
      @chamuchamupalchamperry6686 5 років тому +266

      "I didn't kill the man, The Knife did it!"
      The Knife:
      "See? It can't deny it!"

    • @editsonimovie8681
      @editsonimovie8681 5 років тому +50

      Chamuchamu Palcham Perry
      Knife:
      P-pweaz don’t hewt me ;-;

    • @ender01o66
      @ender01o66 5 років тому +5

      @@editsonimovie8681 XD

    • @dumbass3618
      @dumbass3618 5 років тому +17

      It seems funny right but before science people had no way to gauge the intelligence of animals.

  • @frosty2579
    @frosty2579 5 років тому +2656

    He should have just said the court notice was in a language the rats could not read so the notices would have to be written in rat and just left it at that to screw with the judge

    • @neurofiedyamato8763
      @neurofiedyamato8763 5 років тому +291

      There was a lot of other arguments that would of been impossible to resolvable for the court.

    • @ccvcharger
      @ccvcharger 5 років тому +539

      Objection! If a rat can learn to cook by reading a French cookbook, then it is completely rational to believe that rats can read a court notice that is also posted in French.

    • @______608
      @______608 5 років тому +14

      Same thing I thought here...

    • @______608
      @______608 5 років тому +37

      @@ccvcharger Hahahaha Ratatouille!!!!

    • @maxscott3349
      @maxscott3349 5 років тому +178

      Why didn't they speak the local language? They immigrated legally, didn't they?

  • @TheModernMartialArtist
    @TheModernMartialArtist 5 років тому +2361

    Easy way to tell if the rooster was guilty: Did it weigh the same as a witch?

    • @guyanon
      @guyanon 5 років тому +22

      Is this a crossover Episode? My 2 favourite YTers

    • @JodenPaoloPeroy
      @JodenPaoloPeroy 5 років тому +93

      But does it float?

    • @rockCity777
      @rockCity777 5 років тому +107

      @@JodenPaoloPeroy Yes it does. So it's made of wood.

    • @irongeneral7861
      @irongeneral7861 5 років тому +40

      BURRRRRRN HIM!

    • @JodenPaoloPeroy
      @JodenPaoloPeroy 5 років тому +37

      @@rockCity777 could be a duck?

  • @dazey856
    @dazey856 3 роки тому +1090

    That man was a genius for choosing to make a name for himself by defending rats

    • @flexprime2010
      @flexprime2010 3 роки тому +36

      it does please the horned rat yes-yes

    • @syourke3
      @syourke3 2 роки тому +4

      Sammy “The Bull” Gravano?

    • @robertjarman3703
      @robertjarman3703 Рік тому +34

      Lawyers always defend their own kind.

    • @lysidplontger3980
      @lysidplontger3980 Рік тому +4

      I thought that's what all lawyers did

    • @Atomhaz
      @Atomhaz Рік тому +13

      And it worked because we are still talking about him!

  • @REDKILLER1251
    @REDKILLER1251 5 років тому +8997

    Everybody gangsta till the rats start committing tax fraud

    • @jonyahraus4283
      @jonyahraus4283 5 років тому +143

      The rats are friends with Yoshi

    • @dacreator1226
      @dacreator1226 5 років тому +103

      everybody gangsta till duolingo takes your family hostage

    • @youreallinsane
      @youreallinsane 5 років тому +25

      One of my favorite comments on YT

    • @dacreator1226
      @dacreator1226 5 років тому +29

      @Robert Kööp you're goddamn right

    • @Gold_Yoshi
      @Gold_Yoshi 5 років тому +1

      @@jonyahraus4283 rats r coo

  • @SnowyJakub
    @SnowyJakub 3 роки тому +8037

    The rat story is a next level shitpost so far ahead of it's time

    • @anonym3
      @anonym3 3 роки тому +70

      Yee

    • @paichni3474
      @paichni3474 3 роки тому +272

      They had cat assassins XD

    • @dazey856
      @dazey856 3 роки тому +196

      @@paichni3474 dude that had me dead that he claimed they were assassins lmao

    • @lobster9059
      @lobster9059 3 роки тому +26

      theres also the one dude who sold shitty copper

    • @Mochi_Wan
      @Mochi_Wan 3 роки тому +1

      Fr man

  • @BeelZeDemon
    @BeelZeDemon 5 років тому +1742

    I'd feel sorry for the rooster but we can't take chances with basilisks. In fact, since no basilisk attacked the village, the rooster was obviously guilty, and the plot of the local witch was thwarted.

    • @saguntum-iberian-greekkons7014
      @saguntum-iberian-greekkons7014 5 років тому +117

      Indeed! They did save the city from a giant snake attack, im sure the Rooster was disapointed that the villagers saw throught his machiavellic plan!

    • @lucky-yv5yn
      @lucky-yv5yn 5 років тому +4

      Somebody’s about to get wooshed.

    • @mushroomflow8499
      @mushroomflow8499 5 років тому +12

      @@lucky-yv5yn whoosh

    • @lucky-yv5yn
      @lucky-yv5yn 5 років тому +9

      Mushroom Flow What joke did I miss...? Also, I hate it when people use woosh on UA-cam lol. You probably have no idea what it actually is, or have never actually seen r/woooosh, judging by your spelling of it.

    • @mushroomflow8499
      @mushroomflow8499 5 років тому +19

      @@lucky-yv5yn I'm sorry I just got irritated by your response in this reply section

  • @N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.
    @N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S. 2 роки тому +346

    0:44 "Chassenée was looking to make a name for himself"
    Given that we're talking about this 500 years later, it would appear that he was successful. It would also appear, interestingly, that this may never have actually happened, but then history is full of such interesting tidbits.

    • @Chungus581
      @Chungus581 8 місяців тому +22

      He became a pretty prominent lawyer and his work influenced the Napoleonic Code

  • @marcosbravo9645
    @marcosbravo9645 5 років тому +3404

    "so the rats could get their affairs in order"
    Congratulations, two minutes in and I already lost it.

    • @e1123581321345589144
      @e1123581321345589144 5 років тому +90

      I also loved the bit with the cat assassins.
      lmao :)))

    • @xxXXXxxx852
      @xxXXXxxx852 5 років тому +4

      What did you lose?

    • @236_muhammadfadlirakananda2
      @236_muhammadfadlirakananda2 4 роки тому +22

      the swirling rats sent me 😭😭

    • @নামনেই-ঞ২র
      @নামনেই-ঞ২র 4 роки тому +21

      @@xxXXXxxx852 he meant he burst out in laughter or he genuinely smiled or something similar to that.

    • @YoungOddo
      @YoungOddo 4 роки тому +3

      mafrandaa please move your cats indoors so rats can come😭Imagine tryna explain that to somebody

  • @ldtobi1
    @ldtobi1 5 років тому +5012

    Prisoner: “How’d you get in here?”
    Pig: “Oink.”
    Prisoner: “Wow, I only murdered a few people.”

    • @SamTheEnglishTeacher
      @SamTheEnglishTeacher 3 роки тому +74

      Murderers were executed pretty quickly. The practice of housing, clothing and feeding ruthless animals for 20+ years started very very recently (and will probably end once people can no longer ignore how unsustainable it is, both in terms of finance and genetic load). Sorry for my bad English.

    • @flipflop_bell
      @flipflop_bell 3 роки тому +98

      technoblade

    • @FunAngelo2005
      @FunAngelo2005 3 роки тому +25

      @@flipflop_bell i knew it was coming,but i did not know from where

    • @lostmykeys85
      @lostmykeys85 3 роки тому +10

      Are those fists?
      OINK

    • @CrabmanReturns
      @CrabmanReturns 3 роки тому +58

      Prisoner: how’d you get in here?
      Rock:
      Prisoner: You’re insane dude

  • @BalsticMaker12
    @BalsticMaker12 5 років тому +4225

    And we thought having parrots as witnesses in court is already weird enough.

    • @aguynamedsmith6489
      @aguynamedsmith6489 5 років тому +198

      Please be a reference to what I think you're referencing

    • @avatarwan5824
      @avatarwan5824 5 років тому +151

      @@aguynamedsmith6489 Ace Attorney!!!!!

    • @Tuntor689
      @Tuntor689 3 роки тому +53

      Reality imitates art

    • @ДнсФамилия-в1ы
      @ДнсФамилия-в1ы 3 роки тому +9

      @@avatarwan5824 More like... ASS ATTORNEY

    • @petalleaf2808
      @petalleaf2808 3 роки тому +144

      @@avatarwan5824 Ace Attorney? I thought it was that one UA-cam video where a parrot was a witness to their owner's murder by her brother/friend, since the husband noticed how strange the parrot acted around the brother/friend after the wife's murder.

  • @DCMelo_UC
    @DCMelo_UC 8 місяців тому +83

    Julius Caesar, Marc Antony, Cleopatra, Alexander the Great, Phillip II, literally every human ever: Get squares
    Demonic rooster laying Basilisk making eggs: Bust out the animation!
    I appreciate that HC has his priorities straight

    • @manlyangel3768
      @manlyangel3768 2 дні тому

      They didn't go to court cause they're not chickens

  • @richardcyr9040
    @richardcyr9040 5 років тому +593

    The judge: "Do you understand the charges against you?"
    The pig: "Squeak."

    • @ewantaylor2758
      @ewantaylor2758 5 років тому +59

      Judge: "Pig, you are accused of mixing up the village stockpiles of Oil and Ink, what exactly where you trying to achieve?"
      Pig: "Oink"

    • @cheemsdog7662
      @cheemsdog7662 5 років тому +6

      Hes a dad and a criminal! XD

    • @pcslug3122
      @pcslug3122 3 роки тому +4

      @@ewantaylor2758 good one!

    • @bearmarco1944
      @bearmarco1944 2 роки тому +2

      @@ewantaylor2758 Ignorantia juris non excusat!

  • @Sternab
    @Sternab 4 роки тому +3300

    "He was being annoying but kinda had a point" So like most lawyers then?

    • @sinfulloccultist950
      @sinfulloccultist950 3 роки тому +59

      *Wright

    • @trueberry4094
      @trueberry4094 3 роки тому +16

      @@sinfulloccultist950 I don’t see any grammer mistakes?

    • @laysthechip3356
      @laysthechip3356 3 роки тому +60

      @@trueberry4094 …Phoenix Wright..ace attorney reference

    • @trueberry4094
      @trueberry4094 3 роки тому +20

      @@laysthechip3356 oh lol my bad

    • @il00vemoney
      @il00vemoney 3 роки тому +1

      @@sinfulloccultist950 right*

  • @wittycommentator
    @wittycommentator 5 років тому +1561

    Your honor, I'm just a simple country lawyer. But I do declare that my client did not intend to lay that egg

    • @refinedwrath9030
      @refinedwrath9030 5 років тому +38

      Is that a futurama reference?

    • @big_egg953
      @big_egg953 5 років тому +1

      egg

    • @zacri9434
      @zacri9434 5 років тому +1

      egg

    • @xxXXXxxx852
      @xxXXXxxx852 5 років тому +1

      Pretty sure he did it to offend me.

    • @Richard_Nickerson
      @Richard_Nickerson 5 років тому +26

      @@refinedwrath9030
      "Now, I know it must be awfully scary in that there witness stand, but there's nothing to fear, darlin'. BAGAWK! Oh, I'm sorry - I thought you was corn."

  • @kbbl102.5
    @kbbl102.5 3 роки тому +103

    “No harm, no fowl” made me audibly laugh for the first time in probably two weeks and I’m grateful for that. Thanks

  • @theodoric7335
    @theodoric7335 5 років тому +11682

    As soon as we stopped animal trials we had some of the deadliest wars in history including WW1 and WW2, I rest my case

    • @Phelan666
      @Phelan666 5 років тому +384

      30 years war was, proportionally, far more devastating.

    • @theodoric7335
      @theodoric7335 5 років тому +346

      @@Phelan666 People don't know it very well so I didn't mention it

    • @whoareyou1034
      @whoareyou1034 5 років тому +81

      I mean, he is not wrong...

    • @dajjukunrama5695
      @dajjukunrama5695 5 років тому +44

      Nothing explains the EU 4Head

    • @mrniceguy7168
      @mrniceguy7168 5 років тому +146

      Yellow King ahh, never fails, someone says something funny and someone has to say “akshually...”

  • @howdyciaody
    @howdyciaody 5 років тому +1428

    Imagine not being a featureless square and having to keep a strait face, calling cats assasins in court like that

    • @fedos
      @fedos 5 років тому +146

      IIRC there was a case in the US where it was charged that a political candidate won unfairly because his supporters were shooting at his opponents who approached the polling location. The judge ruled that it was fair because basically anyone who was sufficiently brave would have been able to continue through the gunfire.
      Wish I could remember the details better than that so I could properly verify it.

    • @CareerKnight
      @CareerKnight 5 років тому +17

      @@fedos That sounds deeply stupid, unfortunately that has nothing to do with whether it happened or not.

    • @fedos
      @fedos 5 років тому +18

      @@CareerKnight The stupidity of it is probably why it stuck with me, real or not.

    • @fernandoalmeida2491
      @fernandoalmeida2491 5 років тому +1

      fedos haha I wanted to read this story, but I sadly couldnt find

    • @fedos
      @fedos 5 років тому +9

      @@fernandoalmeida2491 Yeah, whenever I try to find it again I end up with recent voting rights rulings. We're talking about something I read about 20 years ago.

  • @nekomancer1495
    @nekomancer1495 5 років тому +1934

    "Rat rattington, you are guilty of tax fraud. how do you plead?"
    **"RAT NOISES"**

    • @RonanPalacios
      @RonanPalacios 5 років тому +93

      GUILTY! DEATH TO YOU RAT RATTINGTON!

    • @BrokensoulRider
      @BrokensoulRider 5 років тому +39

      ratatatatatatatatatatatta sqeek squeek.

    • @rexroyulada6267
      @rexroyulada6267 5 років тому +6

      Glorious

    • @timomastosalo
      @timomastosalo 5 років тому +17

      No, it was Nibbles Rat (name translated from medieval French), and his family. Rattington lives in England.

    • @TruthNerds
      @TruthNerds 5 років тому +14

      Poor Rat Rattington, somebody must've ratted him out.

  • @Sponsorbagel
    @Sponsorbagel 3 роки тому +49

    i'm pretty sure i heard of a guy who got a prison sentence because "his" fingerprints were found on a dead body. turns out that it was a koala who killed the deceased person, they suspected him because koala fingerprints are almost indistinguishable from human fingerprints and this koala's prints were basically the same as the supposed murderer. this would suck so hard lmao

    • @The_ZeroLine
      @The_ZeroLine Рік тому +3

      lol, yeah, no.

    • @mildlymarvelous
      @mildlymarvelous День тому +1

      How does a koala kill somebody

    • @madisunie
      @madisunie День тому +3

      @@mildlymarvelousyou must not know much about Koalas haha

  • @shunyat9023
    @shunyat9023 5 років тому +635

    Imagine spending 20 years to become a lawyer and your debut case was defending a random chicken, also you lost.

  • @FyWhy
    @FyWhy 5 років тому +1818

    Pope: I excommunicate this foul mole
    Farmer: You have gained "excommunicated" CB against a mole.

    • @respublica4373
      @respublica4373 5 років тому +176

      Men of culture are in this comment section.

    • @viniciusteixeira6736
      @viniciusteixeira6736 5 років тому +63

      Bah, why bother with christian CB, just turn pagan and conquer those cross worhsipers

    • @alanetchetto8908
      @alanetchetto8908 5 років тому +97

      @@viniciusteixeira6736 I found the pagan mole guys

    • @markay779
      @markay779 5 років тому +73

      @@viniciusteixeira6736 Why bother with pagans? Just convert to zoroastrianism and marry your sister.

    • @tdoge
      @tdoge 5 років тому +20

      @@vincentiusvincentius7557 >Farmer pays 100 gold
      To whom exactly??

  • @readmyusernamecauseitssoreally
    @readmyusernamecauseitssoreally 3 роки тому +1215

    "if they're not here, I propose they'd be guilty of their crimes"
    But they're rats... They didnt even know they were guilty of anything in the first place

    • @thetenthone
      @thetenthone 3 роки тому +187

      That's what they want you to think

    • @Kittsuera
      @Kittsuera 3 роки тому +115

      plot twist. the rats started the plague for all the unjust actions against them

    • @liltone9614
      @liltone9614 3 роки тому +13

      Nor do they even know there meant to be there

    • @theawesomeking5513
      @theawesomeking5513 3 роки тому +7

      Well i mean not knowing the law doesnt expel u from it

    • @charlesisnothome6694
      @charlesisnothome6694 3 роки тому +21

      @@theawesomeking5513 I mean in most cases if you don’t have the mental capacity to understand your crime they just put you in psychiatric care. Though animals are quite different in which they don’t have the capacity to understand any of the human rules and systems.

  • @Vortexiiixii
    @Vortexiiixii 3 роки тому +36

    Rats: Thank you, here's your money.
    Lawyer: It is nice working with you.
    *Phoneix Wright: Ace Attorney theme song*

    • @philip8498
      @philip8498 9 місяців тому

      rats: when the going gets tough, you dont want a criminal laywer, you want a *criminal* lawyer
      Rat lawyer: Hi, im saul goodman! did you know that you have rights?

  • @Hawkfire360
    @Hawkfire360 3 роки тому +733

    Oh! This explains something I didn't understand about Oedipus Rex. The "pollution on the land" wasn't a metaphor, Oedipus was literally exuding bad vibes

    • @leonardo9259
      @leonardo9259 3 роки тому +38

      Quite literally

    • @ethanbotterill2743
      @ethanbotterill2743 3 роки тому +54

      Yeah! It's called miasma, it's a plague or ill happening that occurs when a crime has not been avenged

    • @nonbinaryDes
      @nonbinaryDes 3 роки тому +7

      I was literally thinking the same thing after watching this video! that they really meant it when they said he was the "heart of our corruption". What a coincidence

    • @QualityPen
      @QualityPen Рік тому +5

      Bad vibes is an awesome way of describing divine punishment for crimes committed.

  • @niklimnat1061
    @niklimnat1061 5 років тому +1723

    yall worrying about animals being convicted of crimes, but inanimate objects tho

    • @X606
      @X606 5 років тому +166

      This lamp burned Larry, so we should burn it!

    • @Pb0b178
      @Pb0b178 5 років тому +179

      "A murderous roof tile"

    • @ThreeBeeHDb
      @ThreeBeeHDb 5 років тому +106

      @@Pb0b178The Dad: BILLY! ARE YOU THRO...
      The Dad: *sees dead body*
      The Dad: Billy, why is our neighbor dead?
      Billy: IT WAS THE ROCK!!!
      The Dad: *looks at bloody rock*
      *one trial later*
      City: BURN THE ROCK!!!

    • @spudsbuchlaw
      @spudsbuchlaw 5 років тому +29

      Blender found guilty after dedickitating multipul people

    • @dust1077
      @dust1077 5 років тому +4

      This deserves more likes

  • @geraldysjunk
    @geraldysjunk 3 роки тому +2655

    The first story sounds like something Sam O Nella should cover

  • @Tempest_5.8x42mm
    @Tempest_5.8x42mm 3 роки тому +26

    When you're such a good lawyer you save rats from a lawsuit:

  • @jamescusack6511
    @jamescusack6511 5 років тому +239

    In other news, Florida man arrested for excommunicating local crocodile

    • @terner1234
      @terner1234 5 років тому +21

      F L O R I D A
      M A N

  • @cartmann94
    @cartmann94 5 років тому +685

    Rat Lawyer: Your magistrate, my clients can't appear at this trial. They're surrounded by assassins!
    Julius Caesar: Did somebody say Assassins?!?

    • @physical_insanity
      @physical_insanity 5 років тому +19

      I can just imagine Caesar rising out of his grave like a robot sitting up and just snapping his head right to the camera as he says that.

    • @MikeGill87
      @MikeGill87 5 років тому +5

      Yeah, that's the video I was hoping for today... Doesn't matter. Any HC video is equally interesting, some are just a bit more my cup of tea. Caesar. Must. Die. Soon!

    • @ThePrinceofParthia
      @ThePrinceofParthia 5 років тому +11

      More like:
      Everyone: You're surrounded by assassins!
      Julius Caesar:
      Everyone: oh fuck oh no he has his airpods in doesn't he?

    • @ObligedUniform
      @ObligedUniform 5 років тому

      Assassini!

    • @fuhq5121
      @fuhq5121 5 років тому

      Watn it greece? I thought him a roman.

  • @hitrapperandartistdababy
    @hitrapperandartistdababy 4 роки тому +569

    History really is the greatest TV show we never got

    • @hdipan7731
      @hdipan7731 3 роки тому +5

      Si se escucha profe 😳😳😳

    • @abdiabdi1990
      @abdiabdi1990 3 роки тому +6

      Imagine if reality shows existed back then

    • @colonelcorneliuscornwall3547
      @colonelcorneliuscornwall3547 3 роки тому +17

      It’s pacing is just really slow

    • @mr.supersonicultra9131
      @mr.supersonicultra9131 3 роки тому +13

      @@colonelcorneliuscornwall3547 ikr there is to much filler

    • @saint8711
      @saint8711 3 роки тому +3

      Have you considered "Horrible histories" Incredible tv show

  • @ApolloGG
    @ApolloGG 3 роки тому +3

    Severely underrated video. I keep coming back to rewatch it ven though I don’t even rewatch movies/shows I love.

  • @MrBoombastic1904
    @MrBoombastic1904 5 років тому +594

    My dog ate all of my beef jerky today while I was at work. So to answer the question, YES. Yes they can.

    • @BubbaJ18
      @BubbaJ18 5 років тому +20

      Take it to court, no mercy!!!

    • @parkchimmin7913
      @parkchimmin7913 5 років тому +44

      Dolphins also purposefully agitate pufferfishes cause they want to get high off of the pufferfishes’ venom. They take in the venom and they pass the pufferfish to the next dolphin. Also, dolphins rape almost any thing. They’re assholes of the sea.

    • @ender01o66
      @ender01o66 5 років тому +2

      @@parkchimmin7913 XD

    • @parkchimmin7913
      @parkchimmin7913 5 років тому +3

      Ender 01o I don’t like dolphins .-.

    • @gizel4376
      @gizel4376 5 років тому +9

      ​@@parkchimmin7913 it's hard to sue for raping if the victims doesn't talk, and DEA are not very well equip to control pufferfish trafic

  • @FormulaObscura
    @FormulaObscura 5 років тому +986

    RIP
    Rooster
    ????-1474
    He died cause some dumb chicken laid an egg in his pen

    • @Prich319
      @Prich319 5 років тому +153

      ikr? Damn feminist chickens, framing innocent roosters with false crimes.

    • @lopez.jacinto.6726
      @lopez.jacinto.6726 5 років тому +85

      You weren't there, you can't know, maybe that rooster wasn't that innocent. Have you seen how they chase after kids? Those little allies of the Devil...

    • @BLooDCoMPleX
      @BLooDCoMPleX 5 років тому +67

      What are you talking about, it was his pen, obviously he laid the egg. How could a chicken ever laid the egg there, it's HIS pen.

    • @gamewarrior2216
      @gamewarrior2216 5 років тому +59

      Maybe the rooster was transgender, that's why the church was so adamant to persecute it.

    • @curious_one1156
      @curious_one1156 5 років тому +11

      @@gamewarrior2216 Conspiracy

  • @OuroborosChoked
    @OuroborosChoked 2 роки тому +26

    Biggest legal questions of Western civilization:
    Can animals commit crimes?
    Can monarchs commit crimes?
    Coincidence?

  • @Engy_Wuck
    @Engy_Wuck 4 роки тому +799

    "the practise of putting animals on trials has vanished" - ah, well, let's just say it changed enough to no longer make it a trial. But the problem still is the same: how do you handle an animal that has caused harm and/or death of a human?
    In the case of domestic animals essentially the owner is now charged, because he indirectly caused it by neglicience (or even on purpose, e.g. if he raised a dog to attack humans and ordered it to attack). But in some cases where the animal is "incorrigible" it is ordered by the authorities to be separated from the owner or even put to death.
    In case of wild animals also some entity decides what to do, up to ordering hunters to shoot the animal (say a wild bear or a wolf that has shown to attack near human habitation multiple times - happens every few years).
    In both cases, especially for the wild animals, it just doesn't go to "human court" anymore, but still some entity looks at the evidence and decides if that animal did the deed it's accused of and what should be done. There even may be lawyers involved :-)

    • @pinkdiamond1847
      @pinkdiamond1847 3 роки тому +89

      Sadly the animal gets put down when the attack is entirely the humans fault.
      Like those UA-camrs who put their dog down after the child was playing with the dogs food and got bit by the dog as a result and let's not forget Harambe.
      We need to bring back fair trials for animals.

    • @happyllama1160
      @happyllama1160 3 роки тому +77

      @@pinkdiamond1847 Harambe was entirely justified. Gorrilas and chimpanzees are horrifyingly dangerous creatures and he could have easily killed that boy whether he meant it or not. There is no way he could have lived. They could have used a tranquilliser but that would have enraged him and he would have torn the kid apart. What did you want them to do? Let the kid be ripped apart by a massive territorial male gorilla and hold a trial afterwards? It was a sad incident but zoos have a responsibility to keep their guests safe and their lives come before any of the animals. The mother was stupid, but it wasn’t the boys fault.

    • @happyllama1160
      @happyllama1160 3 роки тому +56

      The laws against pit-bull type dogs in the UK is horrifying and sad. Many dogs are destroyed or must be muzzled when around people for simply looking slightly pit-bully. They can’t help what they are and pitbulls can be wonderful pets when trained properly

    • @pinkdiamond1847
      @pinkdiamond1847 3 роки тому +49

      @@happyllama1160 The mother shouldn't have been allowed to lift her child over the gorilla pit and she she should have been charged for the child's murder the gorilla shouldn't have been killed for a situation that was entirely out of its hands.

    • @evenbetter6655
      @evenbetter6655 3 роки тому +66

      @@pinkdiamond1847 the thing is as human society members we value more lifes of humanthan any other animal, so to save a kid from dying thzoo keepers killed a gorilla, it doesn't matter if the gorilla was innocent and if the mother guilty. It wouldve been utterly unacceptable to let a child die in name of "justice"

  • @mayevie
    @mayevie 3 роки тому +487

    "the rooster was convicted of cavorting with Satan" i bursted out laughing so suddenly my mom was startled lmao

    • @indonesiakid1396
      @indonesiakid1396 3 роки тому +1

      Bruh even a roaster idk what is going on

    • @deez2037
      @deez2037 3 роки тому +2

      In all honesty, the only animals, as a whole species, to ever to go against God were snakes and some others only, not roosters.

  • @jlkjlkjkljklj9162
    @jlkjlkjkljklj9162 5 років тому +183

    No one is talking about "No Harm, No Fowl", but I see it, sir, and I appreciate it.

  • @space_kiwi1105
    @space_kiwi1105 3 дні тому +6

    12:42 this is not actually remarkable but this is the idea that has been instilled in us because we like to think of the church as backwards and not the founders of modern science.

  • @michaelwang1524
    @michaelwang1524 5 років тому +396

    But my dog ate my homework!!!
    Clearly work of satan himself, eating the pathway to knowledge.

    • @-Faris-
      @-Faris- 5 років тому +2

      Unacceptable! I will call the regional cardinal and public execution will take place at the town square!

    • @midshipman8654
      @midshipman8654 5 років тому +7

      Michael Wang How does it feel to sentence your dog to a execution, just because you forgot to write your research paper last night? Are you proud of yourself?

    • @michaelwang1524
      @michaelwang1524 5 років тому +2

      @@midshipman8654I feel like John Wicking myself... :(

    • @johnloman4164
      @johnloman4164 5 років тому

      @Jack the Gestapo Asian 100

    • @natalyn139
      @natalyn139 5 років тому +2

      satan lost touch with adam and eve and forgot how to find the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, so he had to settle for tempting your dog to eat the paper of the knowledge of history and social studies

  • @michealroth120800
    @michealroth120800 5 років тому +333

    5:11
    I'm just imagining a roof tile getting arrested for murder...

    • @krankarvolund7771
      @krankarvolund7771 5 років тому +39

      Now imagine the lawyer who have to prove that this roof tile is innocent XD
      The experts: Athens would be very fun xD

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 5 років тому +45

      Lawyer: “CONFESS”
      Roof Tile: *Is a roof tile*

    • @edwardokaa
      @edwardokaa 5 років тому +67

      After serving its time for the murder, all Roof Tile wanted was to start again with a clean slate

    • @Reignor99
      @Reignor99 5 років тому +13

      @@edwardokaa See yourself out.

    • @amulet2350
      @amulet2350 5 років тому +4

      FeelsPyrrhusMan

  • @spideraba769
    @spideraba769 3 роки тому +2042

    An interesting note: some places still allow inanimate objects to be tried in court, even to this day. A relatively modern instance is the case of _Krabs v. Plankton_ in Bikini Bottom in 2005: Krabs's representative, Mr. SquarePants, called a mop to the stand as a suspected guilty party. Naturally, the mop, being an inanimate object, did not respond to SquarePants's questioning.

    • @mudcake_andworms
      @mudcake_andworms 3 роки тому +263

      They had us in the first half not gonna lie

    • @DaShoopdahoop
      @DaShoopdahoop 3 роки тому +70

      Thank you for making me laugh during covid times.

    • @ericolens3
      @ericolens3 3 роки тому +24

      @@DaShoopdahoop
      Im sorry for you not laughing as often.
      I try to laugh at least once an hour.

    • @Luigiofthegods
      @Luigiofthegods 3 роки тому +22

      "Need I remind you that you sir are under oath?!"

    • @jy3n2
      @jy3n2 3 роки тому +16

      More seriously, civil forfeiture cases are against property rather than against people. Thus, we get things like Texas v. One Gold Crucifix or US v. Forty-Three Gallons of Whiskey.

  • @nitroboosting1622
    @nitroboosting1622 3 роки тому +27

    I love how the lawyer Starts making Childish reasons then actually making a point

  • @ccswelding1599
    @ccswelding1599 5 років тому +947

    did animal trials REALLY increase...or did people just catch onto the idea of a good barbecue?

    • @dulguunnorjinbat6136
      @dulguunnorjinbat6136 4 роки тому +33

      mmm, rat bbq

    • @momon969
      @momon969 4 роки тому +65

      "Hey, do you think that chicken is possessed by the devil?"
      "Now that you mention it, yeah, I could eat."

    • @yeahaight3495
      @yeahaight3495 3 роки тому +8

      The profile pic makes this so much better

    • @yee5074
      @yee5074 3 роки тому

      @@yeahaight3495 ikr its so yankish

  • @Kriegter
    @Kriegter 3 роки тому +495

    Normal people's reaction to a murder: Somebody got murdered! Who did this!
    Greeks: Those god damn murder gasses are spreading like an epidemic again

    • @ItSquishy
      @ItSquishy 3 роки тому +6

      well shit the damn evil gases back at it again

  • @paulchambaz8906
    @paulchambaz8906 4 роки тому +328

    It is so upsetting that the rooster went out this way. He deserved better. Historian Albert Eggstein call him the greatest rooster in medieval history. I love the rooster, I'm in that camp too...

    • @leeofthe7seas
      @leeofthe7seas 3 роки тому +2

      Don't eat chicken

    • @lorenzooliveira1157
      @lorenzooliveira1157 3 роки тому +6

      Nice reference there, amigo

    • @hihi-nm3uy
      @hihi-nm3uy Рік тому +2

      I caught that reference, because I watch HC so much that I recognise his speech habits.

  • @jondw
    @jondw 2 роки тому +9

    fun fact, chickens who can no longer lay eggs often start taking on rooster like characteristics. not saying this is what happened(someone probably would notice if the rooster accused used to be a hen) but i wonder if it may be connected to the idea of a rooster laying an egg if this process happened early

  • @xenan7889
    @xenan7889 5 років тому +1092

    "the rooster was burned at the stake"
    me: so sad
    also me: eats a chicken sandwich

    • @Limbolots0
      @Limbolots0 5 років тому +61

      @@Vohasiiv not to burst your bubble but noo... they are killed in a pretty brutal way

    • @livipup
      @livipup 5 років тому +32

      At least the death of that chicken lead to something meaningful, continuing another life.

    • @xenan7889
      @xenan7889 5 років тому +14

      @@Vohasiiv you are so innocent

    • @dumbass3618
      @dumbass3618 5 років тому +1

      8:55 my favorite part

    • @Fankas2000
      @Fankas2000 5 років тому +15

      @@livipup Now hey last time I check burning produces carbon dioxide, carbon dioxide is then "eaten" by plants. So burning that roster did continue a another life.

  • @termeownator
    @termeownator 5 років тому +129

    The Peloponnese: "Damnit, Athens, quit expelling all your bad humours onto our peninsula. The Megarid's livid as well..."

  • @Flow86767
    @Flow86767 5 років тому +435

    To be honest, that was really interesting.

    • @HornadyMatt
      @HornadyMatt 5 років тому +3

      I love your name.

    • @feldsmann2
      @feldsmann2 5 років тому

      Not only interesting, but still relevant in ongoing discussions about animals rights.

    • @AirTerranean
      @AirTerranean 5 років тому

      To be honest, this was also hilarious.

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger 5 років тому

      Interesting, hilarious and sad. God we're a stupid species. This is why aliens won't visit us.

  • @noahkhan206
    @noahkhan206 2 роки тому +1

    Your use of music and timing is amazing, love your videos!

  • @angelsartandgaming
    @angelsartandgaming 5 років тому +69

    The whole rat court trial I swear feels like something out of Ace Attorney with it's goofiness, loopholes, a ridiculous client, a kooky yet knowledgeable defense attorney, and a slightly gullible judge. But this was real! And I love every inch of this, how did I not know this was real until now!

  • @redpotato2585
    @redpotato2585 5 років тому +3211

    Me: Can't wait for Caesar's Death episode from Historia Civilis
    Historia Civilis: CaN aNImAls CoMmIt CrImES?
    Edit: Historia Civilis already mentioned Caesar's Death

    • @villumsonne1107
      @villumsonne1107 5 років тому +119

      The assassination of Caesar proves that :)

    • @ahmedbassam400
      @ahmedbassam400 5 років тому +12

      Exactly what I was thinking

    • @sam08g16
      @sam08g16 5 років тому +91

      HEY HEY stop with the SPOILERS!

    • @SmallFries01
      @SmallFries01 5 років тому +134

      @@sam08g16 Caesar dies? WTF

    • @jdosuna4453
      @jdosuna4453 5 років тому +137

      @@SmallFries01 he cant die yet he hasn't got to the part where he invented the salad

  • @tylergibbons9824
    @tylergibbons9824 5 років тому +127

    10:33 “No harm, no fowl”...lol

  • @sevendeadlysquids404
    @sevendeadlysquids404 3 роки тому +34

    Brings a whole new meaning to “kangaroo court”

  • @grace5033
    @grace5033 3 роки тому +412

    Fun fact: most lizards have not committed war crimes against Yugoslavia (key word: MOST)

    • @EliEnby
      @EliEnby 3 роки тому +18

      I'm sorry... what?- 💀
      Please tell me what kind of war crime against Yugoslavia was committed by a frickin lizard

    • @selahanany5645
      @selahanany5645 3 роки тому +46

      @@EliEnby a green one

    • @EliEnby
      @EliEnby 3 роки тому +14

      @@selahanany5645 ah yes, thank you for that information. I would have never thought of that if you didn't tell me! now all my questions have been answered :)

    • @selahanany5645
      @selahanany5645 3 роки тому +15

      @@EliEnby you are welcome :)

    • @EliEnby
      @EliEnby 3 роки тому +8

      @chinsaw2727 oh, true! I didn't think of that one

  • @theironpill9296
    @theironpill9296 5 років тому +48

    >Stop condemning roosters to death
    >Shortly after, World War erupts
    Yeah i'm thinking they were on to something

  • @simen3971
    @simen3971 5 років тому +46

    I was expecting the glorious conclusion to the Caesar saga, but this is really interesting. The moral framework of medieval Europe had so many weird aspects to it, from witch trials to the Cadaver Synod to this.

    • @MCorpReview
      @MCorpReview 5 років тому +4

      Simen this is weirder than the witch trials. Totally unexpected. I doubt the priests could find references in the Bible. They juz absorbed pagan beliefs and ran with it like Easter.

  • @julienh3965
    @julienh3965 2 роки тому +2

    This is by far the best video on the internet today. Historia Civilis is some kind of genius

  • @rei1sba315
    @rei1sba315 5 років тому +98

    "I AM THE BEST BIRD LAWYER OF ALL TIME! BIRD LAW!" "What does that even mean?"

    • @Derp12
      @Derp12 3 роки тому +1

      It's so funny how he chants "BIRD LAW!"

  • @ledibak7735
    @ledibak7735 5 років тому +221

    Did they eat domesticated animals which were executed?
    Or were they afraid of the evil within those animals?

    • @nicosmind3
      @nicosmind3 5 років тому +106

      "Arrest that chicken. Also arrest those vegetables, and clean drinking water.... Wait a second!! Did those noodles fund this crime? Arrest them too!"
      *Makes chicken noodle soup*

    • @skully460
      @skully460 5 років тому +12

      If you're the rooster, apparently you get burned at the stake!

    • @prajuangwahyudi3738
      @prajuangwahyudi3738 5 років тому +29

      @@skully460 just another way of saying grilled chicken

    • @Hlodolog
      @Hlodolog 5 років тому +41

      Judge: I sentence those pigs to be burned!
      Farmers: Have mercy!
      Judge: Alright... grilled only.

    • @unocarb
      @unocarb 5 років тому +1

      @@skully460 Rotisserie chicken

  • @applecider7009
    @applecider7009 5 років тому +46

    You know you’re above mere mortals when you win a court case defending a roof tile

  • @jileskorey1105
    @jileskorey1105 2 роки тому +8

    This is partially why I love history. Reality is stranger than fiction

  • @elliejohnson2786
    @elliejohnson2786 4 роки тому +113

    Awe. He's playing the sad music for the rooster just like he did for Caesar :(
    Good night my little king rooster, we will miss you.

  • @Savage-zh2gs
    @Savage-zh2gs 5 років тому +155

    Prisoner number: 23476
    Crime: Murder
    Plead statement: ....
    Species: Rock

  • @wherethetatosat
    @wherethetatosat 5 років тому +233

    Can animals commit crimes?
    My dolphin overlords assure me the answer is no as they eye my nether regions.

    • @timomastosalo
      @timomastosalo 5 років тому +14

      Can plants or mushrooms commit crimes?
      Yes, arrest whichever went in this man in the form of smoke!

    • @Poffean
      @Poffean 5 років тому +2

      *CHOMP*

    • @ilkkarautio2449
      @ilkkarautio2449 4 роки тому +1

      Dolphins are the second smartest species after us Nosy-Sharks (we eat knowledge) and you hoomans are 3rd. 😳 BTW: dolphins can get depressed and commit suicide. Let that sink in. No, clearly just an automata...

    • @Nen_niN
      @Nen_niN 3 роки тому

      @@ilkkarautio2449 could be argue that nature, if indeed designen by god, could've been set up so that these automata can display human characteristics to further the human experience, although still remaining automata

    • @UnchartedThoughtsMusic
      @UnchartedThoughtsMusic 3 роки тому +4

      **_"eeeee heee hee yeeing" you sensually_**

  • @deimmartillo1674
    @deimmartillo1674 3 роки тому +7

    The judge: The roof in front of me is accused of killing the owner of the house where it comes from. How would you declare yourself?
    The roof: ...
    The judge: I heard enough, you are vanished from this city.

  • @Twistedman2000
    @Twistedman2000 5 років тому +71

    You are seriously the best history youtuber out there.

    • @sa_exploder
      @sa_exploder 5 років тому

      "You are seriously the best h̶i̶s̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ youtuber out there." ftfy

  • @irongeneral7861
    @irongeneral7861 5 років тому +40

    The plot of "Animal Farm" is much easier to undersand now

  • @patmcgroin4me
    @patmcgroin4me 5 років тому +57

    The sad music after the condemning of the rooster was hilarious to me for some reason

    • @baykutTr
      @baykutTr 5 років тому +3

      ITS NOT A JOKE DAMMİT

    • @ausintune9014
      @ausintune9014 5 років тому +1

      YOU LAUGHED AT A BEINGS DEATH!

    • @pvpcake
      @pvpcake 5 років тому +1

      I love it as its the same music for the death of pompey and others

  • @renatodutrarangel112
    @renatodutrarangel112 2 роки тому +5

    The fact that a rooster laid an egg means that the entire city was in danger, imagine a merchant go to a city
    "Hello good ci..."
    "THE ROOSTER PUT AN EGG!"
    "The wha..."
    "THIS CITY IS DEAD"
    "RUN TO YOUR HOUSE! RUN TO YOUR HOUSE!"
    "THE END IS NIGH!!"
    "Nope, I'm out"

  • @marcusaurelius2147
    @marcusaurelius2147 5 років тому +156

    So 500 years ago animals had a right to a just public trail by a jury, while beeing defended by a professional lawyer. it seems animal rights have been steadily declining these last centuries...

    • @shorewall
      @shorewall 5 років тому +1

      right? :D

    • @Mrjoemill123
      @Mrjoemill123 5 років тому +1

      if my dog sucked and was going to be put on trial id visit in jail. no way im getting his sucky tail bailed out of jail

    • @カスカディア国人
      @カスカディア国人 5 років тому

      Coraru K we have too many cows, it’s time for a cow genocide.

    • @alexanderchristopher6237
      @alexanderchristopher6237 5 років тому +9

      @@カスカディア国人 cow genocide: exists
      McDonald's: I'll take your entire stock

    • @okbro3524
      @okbro3524 5 років тому +1

      @Coraru K By giving rights to animals, we will go backwards

  • @Lexingtonandconcord75
    @Lexingtonandconcord75 5 років тому +273

    Listen man, I havent watched the video yet but the title has got me concerned

    • @ahmedbassam400
      @ahmedbassam400 5 років тому

      😂 brilliant

    • @iriechpiemapping8656
      @iriechpiemapping8656 5 років тому +2

      Rightly so

    • @icarus2oo21
      @icarus2oo21 5 років тому

      As crime is a human construct the the answer has to be yes, a better question is should we criminalise the acts of animals?

    • @Lexingtonandconcord75
      @Lexingtonandconcord75 5 років тому

      @@icarus2oo21 i think geese need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Blockin the roads and shit

  • @charliebohem2320
    @charliebohem2320 5 років тому +125

    That “No harm no fowl” joke has to contribute to some kind of metaphysical UA-cam pollution right?

  • @davetrack2950
    @davetrack2950 3 роки тому +6

    I was really hoping you’d talk about Topsy the elephant. She didn’t get a fair trial but she was publicly executed. Poor, poor Topsy.

  • @Byzas000
    @Byzas000 5 років тому +139

    Man, Bird Law really isn't governed by reason

    • @georgewilson7432
      @georgewilson7432 5 років тому +3

      Neither Man's law.

    • @sa_exploder
      @sa_exploder 5 років тому +3

      I'll take that advice under cooperation, alright? Now, let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?

  • @tom13king
    @tom13king 5 років тому +98

    I wonder if one day historians will say 'During the 19th-21st centuries, animal trials declined and almost disappeared. Thankfully they were eventually brought back, because clearly that's the right thing to do.'

    • @coolafman
      @coolafman 5 років тому +3

      Look up civil forfeiture laws. Animals can be seized and charged as criminals as in the same manner as cash.

    • @Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human
      @Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human 5 років тому +2

      The civil forfeiture laws the US have are nuts. There have been trials where the police are prosecuting €50,000. Imagine trying to cross examine a big pile of cash.
      Anything that can be linked to a drug crime.I think is the law (I live in the UK, so I'm not entirely sure). So the police can seize and try anything they can argue was being used in the drug trade. Everything from cash and cars to houses.
      And the individual police department get to keep what they seize, so they have the motivation to seize everything they can
      There was a guy who was buying a car on eBay and paying cash on collection, was travelling to the seller's house when he got stopped by the police. They refused to believe that the money wasn't being used to buy drugs even after the guy showed them the emails with the seller and the eBay listing. They confiscated the several grand from the guy.
      You can appeal a seizure, but the judge is a senior police offical from that department, so it's not exactly an impartial hearing.
      Tl;dr the US is nuts sometimes.

  • @Very_Silly_Individual
    @Very_Silly_Individual 3 роки тому +293

    "Simple act of nature" Roosters laying eggs isn't what I'd call natural

    • @kevingluys3063
      @kevingluys3063 3 роки тому +98

      It was probably either a misplaced egg, or a hen with a hormonal imbalance that caused it to develop rooster coloration and behavior (a rare but real thing that happens) and so was assumed to be a rooster by the owner.

    • @anzuaoix
      @anzuaoix 3 роки тому +18

      @@kevingluys3063 could be hermaphroditism?

    • @ericolens3
      @ericolens3 3 роки тому +24

      Or why couldn't a male rooster sit on an egg while the hen went to eat or take a bathroom break.
      Im no bird expert. But I do know male penguins incubate an egg.
      But lets not argue the details (or lack thereof) from a centruies old incident.
      I think the farmer should have paid more attention to his hens and rooster. Namely by putting a security camera in the chicken house. Then it would have easily proven a female chicken laid the egg. And why the male chicken was near the egg at the time in question.
      In short, due to technological limitations and intellectual lacking. The case did not even bring sufficient evidence to make the allege claims even plausible. Case dismissed.

    • @deez2037
      @deez2037 3 роки тому +2

      LMAO REALLY

    • @deez2037
      @deez2037 3 роки тому +3

      @@anzuaoix If it was that, then it’s an act of Satan. ☠️

  • @MartinSimonnet
    @MartinSimonnet 2 місяці тому

    This is very clearly one of my favourite pieces of content, ever produced in media. Any type of media. Ever.

  • @nekrouni8497
    @nekrouni8497 3 роки тому +229

    The rat case is proof of how flexible the court can be
    Also this is funny as fuck

  • @lolki3727
    @lolki3727 5 років тому +41

    "And the unfortunate rooster was condemned to death and burned at the stake."
    I believe they call that a spit roast.

  • @Meeminator
    @Meeminator 5 років тому +55

    _Wolf kills me in minecraft_
    Me: Can Animals Commit Crimes?

  • @generalpeeps
    @generalpeeps 3 роки тому +3

    I love the idea that with the rooster case a medieval lawyer found himself defending a rooster that had laid an egg and believed his most believable defence was to admit that the rooster laid the egg and say it was an involuntary act. Like the thought that he could argue the rooster never laid that egg was completely absent from his mind.

    • @SandTurtle
      @SandTurtle 3 роки тому

      Nah, if he said a rooster couldn't lay an egg, he would be arguing against the church's beliefs. He would be executed

    • @generalpeeps
      @generalpeeps 3 роки тому +2

      @@SandTurtle that's even better, the fact that talking about whether or not a rooster can lay an egg is a comprehensive challenge to the authority of the Catholic church that would warrant execution. I think if I went back then I'd go from 0 to heresy in about 5 seconds.

    • @SandTurtle
      @SandTurtle 3 роки тому +1

      @@generalpeeps you wouldn't last very long then lol. He was doing this trial only for the public exposure it would give him and he wouldn't jepordise his life for that lol

  • @SamwellWK
    @SamwellWK 5 років тому +34

    I can imagine the chicanery that might have gone down in Ancient Greece regarding the guilt of inanimate objects:
    "Objection! I did not kill that man. My sword did!"

    • @VechsDavion
      @VechsDavion 5 років тому +10

      When you realize a lot of people literally think this about guns...

    • @djangomarkov7948
      @djangomarkov7948 5 років тому

      @@VechsDavion
      No they don't, propagandist just promote the idea that they do so the sheep will do their bidding.
      You are but a sheep. Can you be guilty of ignorance if its in your nature?

    • @snarckys3063
      @snarckys3063 4 дні тому +1

      ​@@VechsDavion you're right, guns don't kill, conservatives kill.

  • @momirputnik3257
    @momirputnik3257 5 років тому +40

    I just thought man I miss historia civilis and you unlist this thanks!

  • @StarbitzTheSpookyClown
    @StarbitzTheSpookyClown 3 роки тому +63

    “I murdered a man, what are you in for.”
    A gold fish:

  • @Anthintendo
    @Anthintendo 3 роки тому +3

    4:04 - I want to imagine that a big ass rock fell on top of someone, and the Ancient Greek court had to haul the rock to the trial grounds.

  • @sosukeaizen7028
    @sosukeaizen7028 5 років тому +379

    All pigs are guilty of being too damn tasty.

  • @sirharken821
    @sirharken821 5 років тому +474

    The virgin modern wageslave: hUr DuR ROosTErs cAn't LaY eGGs
    The Chad medieval Peasant with vast knowledge of the supernatural: Yes

    •  4 роки тому +3

      I just love this comment.

    • @LehySnek
      @LehySnek 4 роки тому +11

      The super-anal-tural

    • @indonesiakid1396
      @indonesiakid1396 3 роки тому

      Plot twist there’s no such thing as supernatural

    • @MrNote-lz7lh
      @MrNote-lz7lh 3 роки тому +1

      @@indonesiakid1396
      Yep. Even if ghosts and gods were real they'd just be natural too. No matter what reality altering powers they may possess.

    • @indonesiakid1396
      @indonesiakid1396 3 роки тому

      @@MrNote-lz7lh Oke “turns ghost”

  • @TheReaperAwaits1337
    @TheReaperAwaits1337 5 років тому +29

    *Stares at roof tile*
    “You know what you did.”

  • @PK-Radio
    @PK-Radio 3 роки тому +3

    "Sir Porky, you are accused of crimes against humanity."
    "Oink."

  • @JayietheRiverWarrior
    @JayietheRiverWarrior 5 років тому +40

    This didn’t involve a trial as far as I’m aware, but there was a raven in the UK a few years ago who I believe got an ASBO for stealing and foul language.

  • @Soreshy
    @Soreshy 3 роки тому +88

    The rats right before the incident:
    _Rats, we're rats, we're the rats!_
    _We pray at night, we stalk at night, we're the rats!_
    *I'm the giant rat that makes all of the rules!*
    _Let's see what kind of trouble we get ourselves into~_

  • @spiffinglyBritish
    @spiffinglyBritish 5 років тому +7

    Literally my favourite channel. Never change that outro song.

  • @ryotaa0054
    @ryotaa0054 3 роки тому +3

    The inanimate object murder is like when you were younger and your parent hits the side of the wardrobe when you bump your toe on it

    • @nicholasparker2086
      @nicholasparker2086 2 роки тому +1

      In those situations where I stubbed my toe I was judged jury and executioner

  • @albirasistendragen
    @albirasistendragen 5 років тому +195

    Wow, animal rights really have deteriorated over the years.

    • @htoodoh5770
      @htoodoh5770 4 роки тому +3

      Wait really?

    • @hanburbger7782
      @hanburbger7782 4 роки тому +60

      Yeah, they aren't even allowed trials

    • @dunyacaliskan7495
      @dunyacaliskan7495 3 роки тому +23

      Yeah, it's still common practice to kill pets after they injure a human, all that's changed is they have no right to a trial.

    • @Joseph-kd9tx
      @Joseph-kd9tx 3 роки тому +1

      @@dunyacaliskan7495 Of course they don't. They are property.

    • @dunyacaliskan7495
      @dunyacaliskan7495 3 роки тому +18

      @@Joseph-kd9tx Unjustly

  • @hairlessgrizzly559
    @hairlessgrizzly559 3 роки тому +127

    *minor inconvenience occurs*
    The Church: "Wouldn't that make you...
    GUILTY!?"

  • @trulucro9268
    @trulucro9268 5 років тому +70

    0:26: “oh yeah also his clients were a bunch of rats”
    **pauses**
    “Let me explain”

    • @ShadowDRGN
      @ShadowDRGN 5 років тому +7

      But first, we need to talk about parallel universes.

  • @Garfield_Minecraft
    @Garfield_Minecraft День тому +1

    youtube is the only place where the algorithm recommend me a question I didn't ask