INFP personal growth: Self-Criticalness

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  • Опубліковано 8 лют 2025
  • A healthy INFP has a healthy view on self-evaluation
    My New Channel on improving mental well-being: / @leontsao
    Website: leontsaotherapy.com
    IG: / tsaol

КОМЕНТАРІ • 157

  • @rachelsnyder1262
    @rachelsnyder1262 9 років тому +135

    This explains why I'm constantly obsessing about how others see me and how I must be such a terrible stupid annoying person and I'm always asking my friends "how do you see me? Be honest?" Lol I'm learning self acceptance.

    • @rutee4614
      @rutee4614 6 років тому +10

      rachel snyder that's an infp development phase thing. It's not your shadow. The ESTJ business suit is not your shadow, it's a mask to protect your vulnerability, and a good thing to use at work. The reason you are over concientious is because of the FiSi loop phase we all go through, unless development is thwarted by trauma and we end up with ocd in childhood. And yes self acceptance is how you break the loop, and learn how to use Fi+Ne instead of skipping your second function and using your first and third function, Fi+Si. ALSO. The shadow comes out in "a grip" experience. Which is Fi and the inferior Te. If in the grip for a long time, we begin to act like a persecuting ISTP

    • @Life_moreabundantly
      @Life_moreabundantly 5 років тому +1

      Know Yourself. ✍
      Know Your Worth💎

    • @yellowahappycolor6635
      @yellowahappycolor6635 4 роки тому

      SAME

    • @JohnH1220
      @JohnH1220 4 роки тому +1

      @@rutee4614 Thank you very much for this!

  • @Thakidof
    @Thakidof 9 років тому +76

    lol, your child like essence is so refreshing, the INFP discussion can get little somber sometimes.

  • @lillizz4life
    @lillizz4life 7 років тому +29

    Literally just laughed inside when you said, "INFPs are the first to focus on the weaknesses of their own type - they want to know what is wrong with themselves... they obsessively think about their Achilles heel." Great, informative video! Thank you!

  • @hihe7111
    @hihe7111 8 років тому +77

    infp struggle with loving ourselves

  • @shellbell8062
    @shellbell8062 9 років тому +63

    Your speaking is very clear and ordered for an INFP - Lord knows we guys can waffle! Great video!

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +9

      +Shell Bell lol the clear speaking is a skill learned. I worked on it deliberately a lot overtime.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +8

      +Shell Bell I consciously try to speak clearly and adjust to the audience, balancing content/complexity and knowing how to keep things brief. It becomes natural.

    • @valentinag.7633
      @valentinag.7633 8 років тому +16

      +Type Tips that actually inspires me. I need to learn that skill too. but I'm too busy with learning basic social skills for now lol

    • @mikepesmenski4561
      @mikepesmenski4561 8 років тому +10

      Because unlike most INFPs he knows his brain is like a flock of hungry pidgins, they have a singular intent but scatter when you try to put them into a box. A little organization helps a lot :)

    • @TK-zv9st
      @TK-zv9st 7 років тому

      lol

  • @spectralv709
    @spectralv709 9 років тому +43

    Dude, you are awesome. That last bit about comparing to the unhealthy, critical ESTJ was enlightening.

  • @patriciay.6714
    @patriciay.6714 9 років тому +52

    Omg I love your energy! Your drawings and descriptions were very fun to observe and engage in. Thank you for your sincere hard work and kind words. INFP here, if you are wondering~😊💕

  • @EmilynWood
    @EmilynWood 7 років тому +19

    The part about how that negative energy harms others stood out to me the most. If I get it into my system that being mean to myself will only harm others as well as myself, then I'll have another reason to be kind to myself and make the world a better place. Thank you!

  • @joshray2117
    @joshray2117 9 років тому +69

    My problem is that I really couldn't stand talking. It feels very unauthentic given the words that come out of my mouth aren't what I intend to say. And it's weird cus despite of that, my main interests and passion remains to be the same things that require me to communicate with a lot with people. So I'm constantly trying to be better at this, not sure if at the end, I'll soon turn to be this person, or if I'd just accept the way that I'm really am.

    • @joshray2117
      @joshray2117 9 років тому +2

      +Josh Ray but anyhow this video made perfect sense to me. I loved how you illustrated the whole idea of ESTJ being harsh to the outer world, which INFPs do to their inner worlds. Something I'll remember from now on. Thanks, subscribed!

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +1

      +Josh Ray what are your interests and passions, Josh, that involves communication?

    • @joshray2117
      @joshray2117 8 років тому +1

      +Type Tips I'm into filmmaking and performing arts. Filmmaking is what I'm currently largely involved. I'm in a film school (hs level) right now. I just finished shooting my final film project. Currently stuck on an perpetual self criticism no matter how much I recovered from it. It keeps on coming back.

    • @joshray2117
      @joshray2117 8 років тому

      +Josh Ray * a perpetual

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      I hate talking.

  • @candieshells1
    @candieshells1 6 років тому +5

    Whoa. You blew my mind by comparing an overly self-critical INFP with an underdeveloped ESTJ. I can’t stand being around people that have nothing but critical things to say about our world and other people- Well! I’m doing the same thing, but I’m just aiming the dissatisfaction in a different direction!! It was a profound moment for me when I heard you explain that! When I am berating myself, I will now picture the unpleasant ESTJ and check myself. Much gratitude to you!!🙏🏼

  • @sunraysmountains8087
    @sunraysmountains8087 7 років тому +6

    Very good. Last bit about Unhealthy INFPs resembling Unhealthy ESTJs but towards themselves (The Subject), was a great addition.

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      That was the great explanation as subjective is the key word. I don't turn into ESTJ outwardly.

  • @thomasteraoka6311
    @thomasteraoka6311 8 років тому +12

    This is the best. Low tech, highly prepared.

  • @ohok83
    @ohok83 9 років тому +4

    You have a sweet spirit!! Thank you this video has been useful to me as a fellow INFP!!! I rejoice in our strengths!!! I've found that listening to positive ideas helps me be more hopeful and less critical of myself. Also by focusing on small triumphs that lead to bigger triumphs and trying to use logic to combat negative feelings that that has helped! Thanks again!!

  • @Lowwski
    @Lowwski 6 років тому +9

    My favourite is INFP too and I am an INFP 😄

  • @PXLF1970
    @PXLF1970 7 років тому +2

    Hi, an INFJ point of view. Because INFPs self-awareness is the primary functions tool some had mistaken them as selfish when they use themselves as test subjects of the world around. That may inhibit some INFPs to see all their potential and greatness. You guys have an immense contribution to society.

  • @kittyroxus
    @kittyroxus 8 років тому +5

    I love this thankyou so much for explaining! Other types don't realised how crippling the self criticism can be. Its nice to your perspective and approach xxxx

  • @keilynlaso9529
    @keilynlaso9529 9 років тому +3

    Been watching your videos for a few months now. I also read your article on the ego vs. self. I am enjoying your videos and writing thoroughly! As a fellow infp, I know how hard it is to get in front of people and speak (whether it's in front of a physical crowd or camera) and I must say you are doing a fantastic job. Thanks for putting yourself out there, the information has been very helpful!

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +2

      +Keilyn Laso Thanks for the compliment, it is great for people to voice how they feel and let me know my writing is read.

  • @calmingbabysleep1256
    @calmingbabysleep1256 11 місяців тому

    Thank you Leon. You are funny, smart, knowledge, interesting and kind. I appreciate this video so much. I thought i was infj, then professionally to ped istp, then professionally typed isfp, then professionally typed infp. I think looking at quadras and my life experience, this is most correct. Ive played many roles in my life, I've played the maytr and internalised by shortcmings and the harsh realities of this world. Anyway thank you. I am learning the radical self acceptance thing now at 30❤ Great video, I like the humour and theatrics too❤❤

  • @thedolenorway
    @thedolenorway 8 років тому +4

    Wow, you put a lot of work into this, great job! The Achilles heel drawing especially struck home for me. As an INFP that struggles to find my place in life I feel that what truly are my greatest strengths in life have become my Achilles heel as I have a hard time applying them in a positive way where I'm at today. Another way I like to think of it is to think of my strengths as vectors pointing in another direction then my direction of travel..
    Definitely a subscribe for me! :)

  • @alienaquarian
    @alienaquarian 6 років тому

    This is important! Thank you for sharing. As an INFP, I definitely value personal growth but often get sucked into the self-evaluation loop, which can often become far too unkind and unproductive! It seems us INFPs need to work on not allowing our value to be based on others impressions of us that's filtered through our already critical self perceptions, as it can become devaluing. Like others have shared in the comments, I appreciate your sincerity and pure energy! Good reminder for self-love :).

  • @boldingreen1672
    @boldingreen1672 5 років тому

    Best infp video on UA-cam. Seemed so authentic and seamless. Almost like you made the video for your own public records. Im Proud of your accomplishments. Thank you. Infp here also!!!!

  • @ievajegere2603
    @ievajegere2603 9 років тому +16

    Really - you gave the best advice how to deal with my self destructive inner talk. Thank you! :)

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому

      Ieva Jēgere Thanks...I appreciate you letting me know the effect of my video.

  • @laineymikkay
    @laineymikkay 6 років тому +1

    I love you and this video. All the other videos I've seen either confused me or made me feel more self conscious. This is exactly what I was looking for self improvement-wise.

  • @angelicagutierrez6502
    @angelicagutierrez6502 7 років тому +2

    I love how you explain so clearly! - fellow INFP

  • @Cuteemogirl94
    @Cuteemogirl94 3 роки тому +1

    That's why I understand my ESTJ mom in so manny ways. I'm an INFP and we both critisize ourself a lot.

  • @rutee4614
    @rutee4614 6 років тому +11

    Infp here. I think the infp shadow is actually an istp. Shadow is negative use of unconcious functions. It isn't until the shadow is integrated, that they can be used to benefit us and strengthen relations, which is the concept of the mbti. To say estj is our shadow would be incorrect, because even if we are using our functional stack in the incorrect order, the estj functions are our conscious functions. Therefore they are not our shadow.

    • @AntuNeelesh
      @AntuNeelesh 5 років тому +1

      "Shadow is negative use of unconscious functions" -- wow loved that conceptual line :)

  • @MahRiiN0oo
    @MahRiiN0oo 9 років тому +7

    Loved this. I really like your channel!

  • @gabrielneet
    @gabrielneet 9 років тому +3

    Cheers from a fellow INFP. Thank you for your awesome video!

  • @maryphoenix5414
    @maryphoenix5414 9 років тому +3

    hi im a infp and i'd like to thank you for showing what a mature infp can look like. cause im 13 and mom and sister are infj and my brother is a enfj and my dad and twin are intj so even though they are awesome i have no one who can show me what strong ne and fi look like irl. so thank 😊

  • @jessicashirley6634
    @jessicashirley6634 8 років тому +3

    You have such a wonderful energy to you!

  • @Belgarath314
    @Belgarath314 10 років тому +17

    Great drawings. I like your energy ! :)

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  10 років тому

      Thanks for the compliment!

    • @Belgarath314
      @Belgarath314 9 років тому +1

      +Type Tips I'm still struggling with self-acceptance sometimes. I'm so focused on personal growth, and becoming a better me. I should take a break, breathe and try a bit of unconditional love. It's great to come-back to your video !

  • @mariesa4481
    @mariesa4481 4 роки тому

    I love your videos!! Thank you for the clarity. Resounding clarity ☺️

  • @shivvypoppy
    @shivvypoppy 7 років тому +1

    Thank you for this. I commented on another video, but hiee!!!! I'm an INFP and YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!!

  • @zain4019
    @zain4019 6 років тому +2

    Thank-you, I really needed this:)

  • @eu0bservando
    @eu0bservando 4 роки тому

    Your video is awesome!!!! You're in the right place for self growth!!!

  • @freakyd5395
    @freakyd5395 3 роки тому

    hi love your video especially cuz you can tell your being your self and very useful and well presented. The fact you drew it all out and it not like a boring power point, like most others would use make it much easier to follow :) keep it up :)

  • @Britania-Valon
    @Britania-Valon Рік тому

    Brilliant explanation, concept and artwork!!!! But I do have to say. To focus more on the good qualities of our type, SOME of us have to give the internet a break. Just being honest.

  • @luminyam6145
    @luminyam6145 3 роки тому

    This was a very good video, and you are so right, I have a hard time with self acceptance. Thank you. I have no idea how I found you on youtube but your videos are awesome.

  • @bonniet4521
    @bonniet4521 8 років тому +2

    Loved the pictures. I'm an ENTJ female and I'm with an INFP male, so thanks for the video. 😊

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  8 років тому +1

      +Bonnie T That is cute. You both are semi-duals in Socionics, which theoretically is one of strong attraction.

    • @joshray2117
      @joshray2117 8 років тому

      My friend is an ENTJ. She's the only one I felt comfortable with opening up to during my dark period. She's always happy and never gets tired of my BS. She knows me so well.

  • @hayleybrimson2872
    @hayleybrimson2872 6 років тому

    Wow pretty profound description! Especially the last one! Thanks!

  • @jfisher446
    @jfisher446 3 роки тому

    I appreciate the content. And your goofy ass made me smile. Thanks.
    I like the image of the Achilles heel and the face he makes while staring at it. I do feel like I run around in the world, feeling confident about 98% of me, but staring at the weaknesses to the point that they swell up and I’m just waiting for them to burst. It’s very distracting to trying to get by on the good traits. 🤷‍♂️

  • @inthesixwithclementine
    @inthesixwithclementine 4 роки тому

    Hmmm this was really interesting! The idea that we (infps) treat our inner self like an unhealthy ESTJ would, was mind blowing. Thanks!

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      I was confused about ESTJ shadow because I thought like we are acting outwardly and treating other people as if ESTJ and questioned my INFPness but I now understand that ESTJ is "subjective and inward" in us so we are our worst critic and I highly agree to that.

  • @snuffyscorner
    @snuffyscorner 4 роки тому +1

    I needed this as I'm in a period of severe introspective examination. I just recently found out that I'm INFP and the more I research the qualities of what this means the more I wage war against myself. I have heard several times the need to accept my traits and I feel so trapped but it's the fighting against being INFP that is the true trap. I guess. If I try to process with a cognitive stack that is not my own I will always fail to gain perspective. I can't build with tools that aren't meant for me. It would be like trying to use a left-hand oriented mouse versus the right-handed one. I will be able to move the cursor and click but there will always be this left-right translation that will incumber me.
    I have to admit self acceptance is so hard for me. This is perhaps where I need to focus energy on now? I feel it is. Any tips on how any of you have gained acceptance please let me know.

    • @ari5779
      @ari5779 3 роки тому

      I would say just focus on loving who you are, cultivate self compassion and accept everything about yourself, even the disliked ones. The critical thoughts will come out and be highlighted on their own due to the shift and will fade away.

  • @Sirelliotfr
    @Sirelliotfr 6 років тому +2

    Thanks u so much u have no idea how much this video helped me

  • @druhseenuh
    @druhseenuh 7 років тому

    I really like how informative and succint, yet candid and childlike this video is. Thanks for making this video!! :-)

  • @rohanrahinwal9706
    @rohanrahinwal9706 6 років тому +1

    Okay, I had once decided to make a UA-cam video, and I was around this all over the place. In the sense of moving about and stressing on some words. You definitely sounded a lot like an INFP. We do sound like and look like we're drunk when sober

  • @agwinmoore
    @agwinmoore 9 років тому +11

    I'm an infj. infps are my are my favorite type though

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +5

      +agwinmoore great! infjs have always been fascinating to me, and I love them!

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      I hate being INFP, I feel useless.

  • @drewhendrixxx6850
    @drewhendrixxx6850 5 років тому

    I think we are so lucid that we want to know our flaws so we can eliminate them or at least consciously minimize them

  • @SuperHorseman22
    @SuperHorseman22 9 років тому +2

    just watched cool video my friend I am an INFP as well, I realize I overthink way too much sometimes!

  • @jominatozaki2089
    @jominatozaki2089 7 років тому

    thank you. i'm learning a lot of things from your infp videos.

  • @fridjon
    @fridjon 9 років тому +2

    Love your charisma
    INFP here also

  • @jilmil33
    @jilmil33 6 років тому +3

    You are Santa Clause in my life who brought happiness to me. Thnx bro. But even thanks won't sufficient to give u. I want to send u a thank u card with gift.

  • @rinthean
    @rinthean 10 років тому +1

    I love the presentation and content! INFPs are the best

  • @tonyandthemuse4406
    @tonyandthemuse4406 8 років тому

    thanks for your videos they have been a real blessings.

  • @131purplelove
    @131purplelove 6 років тому +1

    Thank you so much for making this video

  • @FirstPublicChannel
    @FirstPublicChannel 9 років тому +4

    I don't like to be myself. I don't say "to be INFP" because everyone is different (ok you know that very well too LOL), and in fact you look much more positive than me!
    anyway I had and I still have a damn life. of course I can't make a summary, but being "normal" (down-to-earth/outgoing/pragmatic etc) is more confortable to live on this fucking planet.
    If you're enough lucky to be in the situation to express your soul you could do great things, but if not, your life is a pain in the arse.
    btw I like your being. And I'd like to know other INFP too, but I don't, damn it!

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +1

      +FirstPublicChannel thanks! i hear where you are coming from. if you can make a good guess, what are your gifts?

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      I suck.

  • @sii479
    @sii479 4 роки тому

    This video is so lovely, thank you so much

  • @haihai5293
    @haihai5293 3 роки тому

    Super, thanks :-) Love these pictures, lol :D

  • @ntombi105
    @ntombi105 5 років тому +1

    The positive energy in the comments ☹☹😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤

  • @rebeccarivera1581
    @rebeccarivera1581 9 років тому +1

    This was very useful! Thank you.

  • @itsSimonLemongaming
    @itsSimonLemongaming 6 років тому +3

    I think my mom is an estj and I hate how she always wanted to shove her own perceptions and ideas to me without concerning mine.

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      My parents are ISTJ, my father is ennatype 9 so he doesn't create problems he is just too neglecting but my mother is ISTJ type 3 which is probably one of the worst combinations as she is extremely manipulative and cares too much about her image to the point of harming me to make me act like she wants because she wants our family to be seen in a certain way in public.

  • @letsdoathingbybinnie555
    @letsdoathingbybinnie555 2 роки тому

    I loved your charts ❤

  • @wartikaRudramani
    @wartikaRudramani 4 роки тому

    For the ist tym i saw an infp saying his own personality type as his favourite...i wanted to listen this for a long tym.♥️

    • @wartikaRudramani
      @wartikaRudramani 4 роки тому

      I just simply love you...loved the way you are so real....from today i am my favourite and infp are my favourite♥️

  • @URIIRU
    @URIIRU 6 років тому +1

    Love love loveeeee him

  • @Itsgonnabeok4
    @Itsgonnabeok4 3 роки тому

    Stop trying to be someone else just because you don’t like yourself and you will heal be who you want to be

  • @greymountain8369
    @greymountain8369 10 років тому +1

    Thanks. You opened my eyes :)

  • @jonibrewer5130
    @jonibrewer5130 8 років тому +41

    You are cute. hehehe

  • @bethlanglois9361
    @bethlanglois9361 2 роки тому

    Great point

  • @Ken-S
    @Ken-S 6 років тому +1

    Awesome

  • @Sam_Antha74
    @Sam_Antha74 7 років тому +1

    My negative self-criticism is very consuming of my energy and sense of well-being... it’s something I want to overcome but I feel like I am just being honest with myself when I am criticizing myself :/

    • @NoOne-wt6om
      @NoOne-wt6om 4 роки тому

      I'm criticizing myself too harsh.

  • @Alexithymiander
    @Alexithymiander 3 роки тому

    Bravo!

  • @ArtsyFartsyRedHead
    @ArtsyFartsyRedHead 7 років тому

    Great video :) I’m a fellow INFP 😁

  • @muzraz87
    @muzraz87 8 років тому +1

    i love you man....

  • @irongiant9132
    @irongiant9132 9 років тому +1

    You are awesome dude! :D

  • @lucisventusnoctis
    @lucisventusnoctis 4 роки тому

    That was great ✨✨

  • @niklaskonst
    @niklaskonst 9 років тому +2

    Amazing! An so cute to see you explaining wit drawings.

  • @Lois_Unwordy
    @Lois_Unwordy 4 роки тому

    “Punitiveness (if that’s a word)”
    - why can’t we just say a thing and be okay with it .
    Makes me anxious to consider not re-considering if punitiveness can be used as a word.

  • @yosherlly8088
    @yosherlly8088 4 роки тому

    💓💓💓💓

  • @fanboy4224
    @fanboy4224 10 років тому

    Thanks

  • @futureplanet6910
    @futureplanet6910 5 років тому

    Is this MBTI, or Socionics?

  • @rohitsoni2439
    @rohitsoni2439 6 років тому

    Infp - i want to go mountain

  • @Itsgonnabeok4
    @Itsgonnabeok4 3 роки тому

    Yeah we don’t like ourselves lol

  • @anthonyhall5426
    @anthonyhall5426 9 років тому +1

    you said achilles heel wrong lol

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 років тому +8

      Sedna Games I guess that is my achilles heel.

    • @anthonyhall5426
      @anthonyhall5426 9 років тому +2

      haha good come back

    • @ocelot113
      @ocelot113 9 років тому +1

      Type Tips (a-kill-eez)You mean Ashley's heel? JK did make me smile though, but thankyou for the post. I enjoyed it.

  • @lbch_youtube
    @lbch_youtube 10 років тому

    INFP is like sick. It's not natural being an INFP. We have like no energy. In a objective way, as far as I know, we don't exactly do less than average. Ur so right about taking forever on self-evaluation. That insecurity is so gross and it stays. Only thing might be push urself harder and keep doing things, but INFPs tend to always have time doing self-evaluation. Sometimes, I'm so jealous of ENFPs...

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  10 років тому +5

      張泰銘 ENFPs have a whole can of worms they have to deal with that are different from INFPs.

    • @lbch_youtube
      @lbch_youtube 10 років тому

      Type Tips at least they're somewhat positive and outgoing/secure than insecure

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  10 років тому +6

      They still feel insecure too. Whatever feeling state you are in, is not inevitable. It is possible to overcome insecurity. Also all the types express insecurity in their own way, for the INFP it is in a lack of self-confidence.

    • @lbch_youtube
      @lbch_youtube 10 років тому

      Type Tips but it seems like INFP is the depressed type in all the forums. We always say we don't like ourselves and we actually don't.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  10 років тому +5

      Know that INFPs are prone towards a certain way of thinking due to their type. If you know the way you think is a type bias, then you know it can be overcome. You feel a certain way, and you think, "This is because of my type." Then your focus can be different. Each type has a preferred mode of thinking. It does not mean they are incapable of other modes of thinking. They are actually quite capable. There is just a preference difference, and knowing that in itself helps a lot. If you want to talk about this more you can email me at leontsaocoaching@gmail.com as I offer coaching services. I am able to help people change their way of thinking to be healthier.

  • @kss-1297
    @kss-1297 5 років тому

    Lol I like you

  • @brucewayne2184
    @brucewayne2184 5 років тому

    Ashley's heel? Lmao