1 Phrase To Say To Your Spouse EVERY WEEK For A Better Marriage
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- Is your marriage struggling? You're not alone!
Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, shares a powerful secret that can transform your relationship. In this video, Kimberly reveals how her marriage went from "difficult" to "amazing" by simply focusing on appreciation.
Feeling emotionally distant? Missing the closeness you once shared? Discover practical steps for a more fulfilling connection - Join our FREE mini-course here: bit.ly/3UHoqzM
Here's what you'll discover:
Why focusing on the negative creates a downward spiral in your relationship
The key to building a "culture of appreciation" with your spouse
How to appreciate your spouse, even when they're not perfect (because nobody is!)
Practical tips you can implement today to see a positive change in your marriage
Marriage Helper has helped thousands of couples:
Rebuild their relationships
Fix communication problems
And reignite the spark!
Don't wait! Subscribe to Marriage Helper's UA-cam channel for more relationship advice and guidance.
In this video, you'll also learn:
How Kimberly's own marriage struggled in the early years
The "domino effect" of negativity in relationships
Why creating a culture of appreciation is essential for a happy marriage
Take action today!
Visit MarriageHelper.com or call 866-903-0909 to explore their coaching programs, online courses, and workshops.
Your marriage has the potential to be amazing. Let Marriage Helper show you how!
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Facebook and social media has destroyed marriages and relationships forever. Sad
It's as addictive as porn especially for women who feel neglected or lonely. Some smooth talker says all the right things & boundries get crossed. Soon the need to fulfill the endorphin rush becomes a "fix" & an affair is born.
People are starting to wake up. I fell into this exact trap, problems in my marriage and I turned to Facebook groups that validated me and that's when the private messages started and led to worse and worse. But I woke up thanks to Jordan Peterson and Uberboyo and other great truth-tellers. It isn't hopeless or destroyed forever. But we need to learn from this phenomenon and warn the younger generations as well.
@@elizabethroberts8270 my wife did the same thing but denies they were affairs. Its literally an addiction she's in deep denial. It progressed, man after man. It evolved into an obsession & eventually a physical affair albeit long distance. She was scammed, taken advantage of & made terrible irrational choices. I'm trying to be understanding & work on myself. Having dealt with a porn habit , that is very much so adultery, I get it. The endorphin high & predictable outcome of online fulfillment is very addictive. It's an epidemic & very sad to watch her destroy herself emotionally & our home, our kids trust & future for a limerence induced fantasy built on lies & deceit.
Very true
They're insidious.
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable to us while teaching us this. I'm going through a really really tough time too.
Just going thru a divorce right now. And i dont know how to let her go. I wish i knew this channel before
Its very interesting when people talk about how hard it was at first. My marriage was SO EASY at first and for 20 years afterwards because we were best friends. THEN it got really hard. I keep thinking about why this is...health issues certainly played a role in this...
This is so simple but explains why my marriage has improved over the past year and neither of us could figure out what changed....you just explained to me that it was me. I changed and without knowing it, I began to believe once again that my wife was on my side....and I really appreciate that about her.
Dealing with stress before we get married because of personal circumstances. There's only one sided communication right now. I don't want to lose the relationship. Just praying he comes back. I hope these videos help.
In dating, it’s not that you don’t see the flaws, it’s that you ignore them. While dating, you don’t feel like you may control the other person. After the cake, you feel like you have been granted permission to exercise control over the other person. You start giving weight to flaws because now you feel like you have the option to control and change those flaws. You don’t start to fix a “fixer upper” house before you buy it. Once you buy the house, once you “marry” it so to speak, you purchase the right to fix and control it.
A house doesn’t mind being fixed. A person does.
Very well said.
I do appreciate him taking care of daughter with school
Excellent! This is important stuff. I call it being a gentleman to my wife. It may seem outdated today but i think it makes sense. Everybody likes to feel special and appreciated and our spouses should be the first to know how special and appreciated they are to us.
A major barrier I’m facing is a spouse who won’t let go of things that have happened in the past. It’s like he’s bracing himself. Won’t let me change to the better version of me I’m working on.
True... bringing it up over again creates disappointments
My husband does the same
Mine too and it’s very discouraging but I keep pressing on as best as I can
I'm in a similar situation but with my wife. I am only in month two of evolving into the better version of myself that I know I am deep inside. I am working on three TOP key issues that stem from having such an extremely traumatic childhood. I've recently realized that because of my garbage childhood that I have repeatedly made extremely poor decisions in my relationship and will continue to in any relationship if I don't address the top three issues. My wife has noticed the difference in me and my behaviors, and our relationship is still hanging on a thread. Most days and nights I am just so emotionally drained but I will continue to keep my head up and stay strong and keep the hope of hoping that one day I will have such a better relationship with my wife as my wife. It's extremely difficult right now but keep trying. Keep your hope.
I got it so backwards. Before my husband left, we would schedule a monthly “check in”. It was supposed to be a time when we would see how we were doing in our “bad” areas. I now see that we should’ve added time to intentionally share what was going well. 😔
@@ahamed6702 thank you for this encouragement. It’s so hard not to believe it’s not all my fault when that’s all I heard as he walked out the door.
Accept that you are human and made a mistake. It doesn't help that most relationship advice/counselors/etc are divorcees themselves and don't believe in marriage or personal responsibility. You can make this positive change NOW and if you value your marriage you should start now. You can do it!
Always start with a positive whenever you talk with your spouse.
Kimberly❤ she gets it . Wish i had found her sooner but good to just figure out what was happening and the struggles . May be too late for me now but Love your content Kim 💓
I’ll do that! Writing ✍️ is a good idea too! Even the Bible says we should appreciate each other and see the good, lift each other up. I’ve never seen a channel and website about marriage so great like this one! It explains everything! I’m praying and working on my pies to save my marriage 😫 it’s not easy, but I’m being the stronger I’ve ever been while going they this!
We have zero control over other people or what the universe throws at us. The only thing we have control over is how We react to others that's it! we can not control anything outside of ourselves. If your happiness depends on others you will forever be searching for it. Happiness Always comes from within just like self love.
Hello I can recommend you to someone that helped me get my ex back and he can also help you as he did mine too
Whzapp him
Me and husband have retrospective twice a week. It really helps in improving the relationship👍
This should be done before marriage.
Maybe that’s something along the lines of emotional maturity and knowing thyself
Thank you Kimberly for explaining how a simple step can make our marriage beautiful with so much clarity. We are really in need of this.
I'm so grateful for you Kimberly,my wife and I were accepted for the workshop scholarship,your videos have helped me get through this easier,its been extremely hard for me,and I'm sure her as well,26yrs together,20yrs married
Thank you for Chelsea from Marriage Helper,she answers my calls,talks to me when I need advice and help getting through,she helped me get the scholarship.. thank you for everything
Love it! So true and powerful!!!👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I appreciate the short videos with simple advice. It is so easy when things are not going well, to focus on the opposite thing or be overwelmed. My wife of almost 20 years, recently told me that she has been unhappy for a very long time and finally had the courage to say she was pretty much done. After a time of being overwelmed and searching for answers, I discovered your channel and have been very encouraged taking in your knowledge about marriage relationships. Our eleventh hour therapist affirmed something similar which I pray leads to hope for her, where currently, there is very little if any.
I feel like you are a best friend I have never met💞
This is profound knowledge, thank you so much for sharing.💕🇿🇲
I asked my wife how could hurt, on cheat on me over and over. With her freind, I told her how could she just keep cheating on her husband her best freind. She told me I wasn't her best freind , her lover was her best freind, he's always been my bestfreind not you. That really broke my heart again. Joann is always cheating, can't trust her for anything. Joann tello is always on Facebook finding out new ways to cheat. Can't wait to leave her.
Great info. I’m going to start writing in my notes all the things I appreciate and pull them out at the right time 😉
I wish my wife could listen or watch this clip- it can open her negative mind to the positive possibilities in our marriage.
good luck
Hmm after listening u still point d finger at ur wife...since u have been exposed to dis information start doing it don't think she's d one dats need to change she might b but change starts wit u.
@@reneharuna718 starts with both
How’s it gone so far?
The brain is wired to mirror and copy. Time step up and go first.
Kimberly, an amazing and simple tool to help in my marriage than I will do. Also the PIES concept is great. Just signed up for the Marriage Helper course. These videos and materials presented in the manner that they are is really a godsend, thank you. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for helping and sharing!
Thank you for sharing and helping
This is uncanny. I'm going through a separation right now and my husband is a flight medic in the Army who spent a year in Korea (unaccompanied). I don't know how I ended up on this channel, but it is definitely a strange coincidence.
I such thing as coincidence! How are y’all now?
Its called ai, aka manipulation
It’s like she knows my exact situation and so many of the thoughts I’ve had myself!
Thank you so much Snowsportsrule2112. We truly appreciate your comment and are grateful to have you as part of our community here on UA-cam. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us if there's anything else we can do for you. marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
Blessings,
Ive been doing this here and there lately. But hearing you say it makes me feel more resolute. Im in allot of pain emotionally right now, but I m going to keep trying.
This is a great suggestion and I will start tomorrow.
Thank you so much, I appreciate this video. I struggle to save my marriage this week and I was focusing on the wrong things. To I learn to be positive and be appreciative.
Thank you ,it was such a coincidence of finding your channel at the time I needed it most😊
Gonna start to do this one lil thing I love it ty😁
Yes this is so true. Watching this video made me realize that and I feel it’s possibly too late and I didn’t realize it. I pray it is not too late. Great video.
Hey Ann K, Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link:
your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course
Thank you for doing what you're doing.
My wife n I are separated we have 2 kids. She dont love me no more because I was to busy and was blinded by my job I forgot about my family. I never did it to hurt any 1 I did to make sure my family had everything. Now I'm trying to show her im changing. She's moving out to a 1 room apartment. She gonna have alot of bills n the kids to deal with. Ima respect her space n let her see that im changing and being for my kids. I hope she knows that ppl make mistakes we learn. So now I'm missing my wife April 7 is when she moving out. Ima do the no contact rule only focus on my kids. Don't help when ur wifes friends give her bad negative advice
I will pray to the Lord Jesus Christ for reconciliation for you 2 sir. I hope you can stay married.
Same boat brother
My experience at the moment is very similar to this. How did it turn out for you?
@@garyhare5744 a year n half later I found someone else and life is great man sometimes just time to
Move on stay strong don’t bug her just let her be work on ur self
@@jcporosity4764 Good to hear it's working out. Yea, I'm kind of trying to go that way. Be cool about it all. I did (mostly) bring about the situation. And she is worth at least TRYING to resolve it with, I think. And if it doesn't work I'll start backpacking again. Only I might have a kid or two to go with this time around 👨👧👦 Thanks for the reply ✌️
A simple and sincere "thank you" may be just enough to get the appreciation ball rolling, if you're stuck for a way to get started.
And if possible, with sincere eye contact 🙏
Thank you. I think everyday is too much. It becomes watered down
If A girl asks me why when I tell her i don't ever want to marry anyone or cohabitate, I'll straight up tell her because I love her and that sanity is a precious thing to me!!!
Amen God bless you and your family and business.
Thank you!
Thank u so much u make good points.. my gf and I r on a very bad path amd im doing this amd it's working.
The lightbulb example is like one of Oprah’s “lightbulb moments” for me.
Thank you!
Very wise advice.
Your story is real in my life. I’m in army aviation it’s rough
Thank you!! I will start to do this today. I don't expect any positive feedback from my wife for a while. I would love to have an immediate turnaround. I appreciate the advise and guidance. Have a great day!!
You are so right. I told my wife the exact same thing. I told her throughout our marriage, the good outweighs the bad. But she is gung ho focused on the bad that the good doesn't exist to her
Thank you !!!!!!!!!good stuff !!!!!!!!! Thank you !!!!!!!!
Brilliant well said we all have flaws focus on the positives
Thank you and this is really good advice. I so agree and guess what? I appreciate you and your advice. ❤
This is like it was made for my personal situation
Excellent
Love it
I have so much to say to you, but let me sum it up by-God bless you for giving hope.
God will provide hope and a way for those of us who are heartbroken and so far from home it seems. Take care. And God Bless.
Thank you🌹
I like this advice and am going to try and use it. My partner and I have been together 9years her and I are going through a really hard time at the moment and I'm trying to take positive steps to prove that I can change and hope she sees and moves with me. There are days when I feel like all hope is lost. Thankyou for this advice
Any luck with progress? Same boat..
even if a person will concentrate on self-change, it is important to only try to change the things that matter to the other person. A young wife sat down and wrote out 12 things she felt she should work on to be a better wife. She then asked her husband to sit down and write out six things he thought she should change. If she would have gone with her list, there were only two things that he would have noticed, and she would have flustered herself. And he added something she didn't think about. It's all about the union, not either individual.
i don't think id want to hear it everyday. just maybe once and a great while. Actions speak louder than words to me. the way you treat me is how I see you appreciate me. but in my marriage I could see where my wife would love to hear this very often.
Thanks.
Yes, I really really want my wife back. With all my heart I love that woman. I swear to God I do. I will have to down load the app to talk with that doctor. Thank you sooo much. I am Grateful. God bless
He helped me same problem and I got back my ex after 5years of breakup 😭😭😭
±2348102997455⏯⏯♣️♣️
Our marriage was hard because right after we got married my husband seemed to change into a terrible person who was completely against me and then the pandemic hit.
The pandemic has changed a lot of people unfortunately. My husband became withdrawn, angry and obsessed with things he sees online. I have tried to talk to him rationally. I've tried being nice, but it just makes him worse. The nicer I am, the more angry and withdrawn he gets. If I get fed up and start acting angry, then suddenly he becomes a little nicer. It's the most confusing and ridiculous relationship dynamic I've ever seen. I keep going back and forth on whether it's possible to try to fix it or of I just need to walk away.
It seems like some people respond better to anger. Try that for a little while and see if anything changes. Or just keep praying about it and seek help if you have anyone in your life who can help you. Maybe even just considering discussing it with your doctor or anyone else that might help.
Dashed expectations is the source of many griefs and sorrow. Probably need to just learn to be content.
Great video. Wish I had seen this years ago. I think if I had known all this before and especially before “adultery” it might of help in saving our marriage.
Thank you for trying to help everyone out there. 🙏🏼
My wife noticed a night and day difference when I left the military It really does weigh on you
Lots of Stress in ours as well… we tried for 20 years and it was hard.
*your story sounds like ours- our first son died in our first year of marriage.
**this was a great chat, I greatly enjoyed this one. I mean it’s too late for my ex and I…. But it’s great.
The light bulb story is a great reference to keep in mind when you find new obstacles on marriage and in life in general. Thank you!
He helped me same problem and I got back my ex after 5years of breakup 😭😭😭
±2348102997455⏯⏯♣️♣️..
±2348102997455⏯⏯♣️♣️...
can i do it even though he is out there
I have been following you for about two years now and I think in a free society like ours what I'd seen all this time is pretty good stuff. I'd like to follow up on this. I and my e-strange wife live in Melbourne, Australia. We are now learning to be friends now. Where should I look to, to make the best of what we could attain?
Local Bible Church is so encouraging
How I work on my pie plz tell me ? I want to save my marriage.
What to do, when one is just not ready to open up or make it work. Or put efforts
This is good advice, and I image it works best when both partners agree to do it. I'm wondering how effective it is when only one person does it. But I guess it's worth a shot anyway.
i feel the same. my wife pretty much has said that she cares about me but is not in love with me any more.
i want to try to save our marriage more than she does, i think she's ready to move on from me but I'm not giving up.
i want to try this tip, & a few others I've seen with Marriage Helper.
i think I've be been smuthering her lately with compliments, unintentionally pushing her away, so I'll probably wait several days or a week before i start using this advice. 🤞🙏🤞
@@sangretainaa Best of luck! Let us know how it goes, please.
Sometimes a person shows kindness only after someone else does.
You offer very good advice.
Hi friend do you really need help to recover your relationship and make your ex come ruining back to you??????
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I'm not sure if there are five things my wife would appreciate about me right now.
Good
+ 2::3::4::9::0::5::2::3::9::9::6::7::7..
How much are the calls?
As For Me And My House We Will Serve The Lord Alpha And Omega Jehovah.🙏🙌
Does it work if just one does it?
can this work on couples separated and being divorce?
Interesting
hey ma'am
You give me hope
Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relay and get your ex back to you????
Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my spouse back to me,
He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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I wish I had turned to this strategy before we separated. 😢
This was good, and the delivery is great. But it's long and could be so much better if it just went over the problem and gave the solution without so much repetitive info. Said from the viewpoint of having taught online college classes, and having so much better results from my when the videos I did were chunked into 5 minutes rather than a whole lesson. I personally really love the short MH videos. They are easy to fit in watching between doing other tasks, and they deliver info succinctly. Maybe I am the only one that feels that way, but it is food for MH's thought.
Thank you for the feedback Diana! We try to make each video we post better than the last. We will take this into consideration. Blessings,
- Marriage Helper
What to do about a functional alcoholic spouse who I recently learned began this as a 12 year old and continued this without acknowledgment..... and is in denial even after peers question this behavior.....all continuing for many, many many many decades? What about a spouse who was not truly aware of this or was in denial for decades? Habits and behavior around alcohol is so very different than without. Apparently attention seeking behavior has gone on for decades.... nothing more than sexual bar bantering, but It still feels like boundaries have been crossed. I seldom confront, seldom complain. I never fight with anyone and hate conflict. I just remain sad and no one knows.... not even friends notice. I just hold it all in and hide my emotions. I am a very good actress. No one knows the real me, and when I mention to friends that I am depressed they say I hide it well and it is not noticeable. Silent and private screams are my life. No where to turn.... I’ve recently half income as well. No money for counseling. Ok private rant over.
This kinda sounds like what I'm going thru. I've been drinking for most of our relationship. And she was doing what your explains. Holding it in. But now shes cracked and doesn't know if she wants to continue. I'm trying to change. But who knows I might be too late
I appreciate ____________________ (fill in the blank with a positive, truthful! comment)
That ur patient
b my husband is a front liner in this pandemic
My sense of humor
Great stuff if both people are invested
Military family and can completely relate
Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your ex back to you?????
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I appreciate.....
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I forgot to tell you Iam 15 older then him and we hav no kids together,our 10th anniversary is may 14 we hav been together for 17years before he left meIm 62 he be 47mat 25th but I m told always I look between 42,and 48,years old,and the girl looks 50 and she is 37,he is starting to tell people if she keeps being abusive to him, he is leaving her,
Thanks
Hi friend do you really need help to recover your relationship and make your ex come back to you??????
Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and make my ex come running back to me
He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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When we got married it seemed the logical thing to do. We were both in the service and were paid more if we were married and living off base. The marriage should have been about love of best friends not out of conveyance and money. I was hoping that it may evolve into love but it has been a very difficult marriage. We currently don’t speak much and no intimacy. Both of us have pretty much stopped trying. Any ideas?
Similar situation, but I’m a civilian. I’m far away from home w no friends, family. I work full time but remote. We barely talk.
It’s the little things that mean the most
My dear if you seriously want to recover our relationship/get ex back or a specific person.
Mr Muduguru is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you.
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WHAR'SAP HIM.
❤
Omg 😱 so difficult to do but I will try, even though he maybe cheating on me.
i'm sorry.
there is no sound
8:03 --> the phrase
Don't start at 0:46 seconds in or this might be confusing.
some silly humor is really under-appreciated these days. especially during a stressful time.
I would appreciate suggestions on how to do this with a wife who is given divorce papers and sold our house and now we don’t live together or see each other or speak to each other. Really. This is a hard one to implement.
Wife Materialistic, that’s wonderful. I’m afraid my wife will not discuss anything. PIES and prayer are my only shot.
My wife's focus is on divorce
How can you appreciate a spouse who has cheated on you had a child with the AP and left you while you were pregnant with his child as well and left his other 2 kids after 14 years of marriage. At this point there's no recovery
I am so sorry that has happened to you. I know how my wife's infidelity shattered me, I know your pain. I wanted to give up, to stop breathing, but I had my daughters to care for. It hurts everyday, but my girls are my family and my life now.
I can agree with that. My girls have kept me going. Taking care of them isn't easy especially since he is not working, but God is good and has been amazing for us and to us.
If you really and truly felt that, then why are you watching a video about changing your marriage? I am sorry for what you are going through, it is unfair and hurtful and hard. But the fact that you were here watching, to me, means you still have some small glimmer of hope that your husband will come to his senses and return home. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it can be YOU that it does happen to.