From one "old" nonbinary person to whom "trans" often feels correct, to two kind and handsome dapper stylin' humans, thank you for the video! I appreciate you and this conversation. 🙇♂️💖
Yes, there have been several indigenous and ancient cultures who recognised more than two genders. Today in south Asia 'third gender' is legally recognised and i think many of us have encountered the term '2-spirit' people as described by Native American culture. These aren't even the only examples.
Joycelin lgbtQ Just a question. What countries in South Asia? South Asia is a big place. Also are you aware what specific Native American groups. Not trying to say you are wrong I’ve heard these things too, it’s just I feel you are being a bit broad.
I believe part of the problem is that there are some binary-trans ppl who don't believe non-binary identities are real, they accuse us of being 'transtrenders' ugh I hate that word.
Well, another part of the problem are people who are "transtrenders", of which I've known a couple. I usually try my best to keep an open mind because there are many forms of gender expression and each one is personal. However, I've known one too many people who regurgitate thoughts expressed by actual trans people and then act in a way that contradicts any claim they've made.
Well, I'm nonbinary, but I prefer to say I'm trans, because nonbinary feels like a very restricted identity, so I prefer to say I'm trans and use they/them pronouns.
"What is gender, why is gender, how is gender" MOOD GOOD LORD ABOVE I've never identified with a sentiment more in my life. Fully convinced gender is just a mushy pile of mush, btw.
I so relate. I wrote a non-binary character in a novel and my sister who helps me edit wouldn't edit it because she said they-them was too hard to read and she doesn't think non-binary exists. It was really frustrating. I'm not trans nor non-binary but as a child I was totally a tomboy. I got misgendered so many times. I so understand and hope to be a cis ally! XOXOXO 🤗🤗🤗
@Celia Lazuli By challenging myself with a beautiful non-binary character, I am also able to work on editing. I definitely over use pronouns. But seriously my sis wanted me to use Zi-Zir so it wouldn't be as confusing. When I read they-them as a singular it wasn't all that crazy. Wouldn't mind if someone is up for reading my work and giving feedback. It's hard to get open minded peeps that understand non-binary and trans characters
A bit of interesting writing advice; sometimes, if you can get a character to have more than one name, or thing people refer to them by it can help with repetitvity. When I was younger I liked a book series in which the protagonist had two names the book refers to him by, and it can made it a little less repetitive to say, he did this, name did this. Then you have a second name to say did this or something.
@@vCoralSandsv you can also use descriptive terms to refer to them as, e.g. 'the young brunette' or something relating to their role 'the adventurer', 'the uniform-clad child', 'the sales person'.
@@Jack-cd2wl well you have to remember the science for binary trans stuff is only just coming out because the Western concept is relatively new, and non binary stuff is even newer and less recognized meaning hasn't been any research done yet, so it's a little unfair to compare the two. But then again there's still dysphoria... IDK
NOT similar unless a nonbinary person has dysphoria other than that one is not the same as the other.... which is fine, nothing wrong with being nb but if you don’t have dysphoria then you’re not a “ trans nonbinary “ person you’re just nonbinary, which again is okay.
@@beepboop9519, not all trans folks experience dysphoria, so I wouldn't call that a defining factor of being transgender. It's still debated whether "requiring" feelings of gender dysphoria as a requisite to identifying as trans is helpful beyond convincing insurance companies to pay for healthcare. transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/not-all-trans-folks-dysphoria/ I'm personally of the opinion that treating dysphoria as a box to be checked reinforces the mindset that identifying as trans is in and of itself a mental health condition, rather than treating dysphoria and the oft-accompanying depression and anxiety as symptoms brought on by unsupportive and restrictive environments. Someday I hope there can be studies done about the presence of dysphoria (or lack thereof) in cultures where third gender/gender-nonconforming people are more common and haven't been as influenced by the West's severe gender binary, both historically and currently. (Researchers will be hard-pressed because imperialism and Christian missionaries were far-reaching, but I'm sure there's a group of grad students out there up for the challenge.) I'm nonbinary (somewhat genderfluid in personal sense of myself and expression, though generally pretty androgynous-feeling) and I experience dysphoria (mostly mild, sometimes debilitating) maybe 50% of the time. It's usually set on by other people who don't understand gender beyond cisfemale and cismale (and I don't have cards that say "hi, my gender is nonbinary, my preferred pronouns are they/them/themselves...it's weird when you refer to me as 'she' and part of a group of 'ladies' when everyone else in that group is cisfemale so please try not to...even if I'm wearing a dress and appear to have breasts, I'm still nonbinary." And even if I did, I'd feel like a butt handing those out all over the place. But maybe it would help. I dunno aaaggghhh...)
trey combs wait when did I say otherwise??? Also gender euphoria is a thing that I would say is equally, if not more important than dysphoria (though the jury’s out on whether you can have one without the other)
This makes me really happy. I always say I'm too binary for the trans world and too non binary for the cis world. There is no happy place. And it makes it really hard to find people to relate to. I am far to insecure to put myself in trans spaces for fear that people will think I'm not trans enough to be there.
Honestly education is so important. I'm cis so take my thoughts at a grain of salt. But I don't find non-binary people that hard to understand. I've purposely watched a lot of trans related things on UA-cam from both you guys, Ash, Chase Ross, and others to learn all I can. And I have learned quite a lot. But I found it really understandable. Just have to be open to hearing from people who live it and learning from what information is out there. It's only confusing if you haven't put that much thought into it and maybe haven't bothered to try to educate yourself.
That's literally how I always thought it was used anyway. Like I've been using it that way for forever. I've just now practiced to use it more often for folks who don't use he or she as a pronoun.
This is so true. Some people just want to be confused because they just don’t like it. They just want people to be like THEM to make themselves feel better
My FtM friend doesn’t respect my enby partner’s pronouns or name. He also doesn’t believe in pansexuality and thinks that aro/ace people aren’t real. The not respecting pronouns is so weird because he hates being misgendered
@Jett Jo johnson Its pretty sad that you as someone who understands how much it sucks to be misgendered or have the wrong pronouns used, is not willing to use the pronouns someone else prefers. Just plain sad.
@Jett Jo johnson Oh, come on. I mean, I get that it might confuse sis people, but you know what it's like being gender disphoric and your going to make a enby person feel disphoric to help yourself or whatever?
I identity as Genderfluid...on the non-binary spectrum. But I was told that it was trans and I was technically on the trans spectrum just not binary and I'm so freaking confused...cause then trans binaries are like "oh non-binarys aren't trans they're just non existent snowflakes." And...I'm just sitting here, barbeque sauce on my titties like "Who am I?"
I may or may not be crying in class. Wow I'm sensitive. I found out I was non-binary only maybe a year ago, and I've been battling dysphoria for a lot more. When I eventually came out it only got worse because of all the hate (even from fellow trans people). I'm so glad people like you exist. Sending a distance hug! Edit: omg y'all are so sweet. Thank you!
from one enby to another, i offer many hugs!! finding a good support group is important but also can be really difficult depending on location and personal restraints. hoping things improve for you soon!
Thanks. For a long time while I was questioning I didn't feel like I was "allowed" to claim the trans label as a non-binary person, because I felt like I couldn't compare my situation to that of binary trans people, and I've met other non-cis people who feel similarly. Thanks for being accepting and affirming Jack, it does a lot to ease that worry.
When I was questioning I found trans guys talking about nonbinary people as if they were weirdos and need therapy for identifying as nonbinary, and it scared my so much I repressed it for several years....
so excited for this video! I love both of you guys. i’m so happy that Grace is taking the time they need to figure out their gender. this video is so positive for the trans community!
YES PLEASE COMPLIMENT US. My friend told me this morning that she thought I was looking a lot like a guy recently and I stg I sobbed for 10 minutes. Nobody had ever said that to me and it felt SO GOOD.
I’m non binary/genderfluid. I hadn’t considered myself as Trans because the word transition suggests to me it’s a movement in one direction towards an end goal
Not 100% related to the video, but I feel like a lot of people in arguments suddenly say "what makes you say I'm a man/woman?" when you call them "dude", "gal" or something. I find it super petty. If you're non-binary and I've misgendered you, sorry, let me know what pronouns I should use. But like in my experience it's never the case, it's just a petty way to try and win an argument that is based on making fun of non-binary people and the coming-out process. Coming-out is hard and isn't just said lightly like this. If you support and respect non-binary people don't do that. Thanks.
I had all of the same fears when I was questioning, before I came out confidently as nonbinary+trans. And also I feel you both on the situational misgendering. I get he'd when I'm with trans guys and she'd with women.
One of the things mentioned in this was people questioning, or thinking about transitioning not being taken seriously, and I just have to say I really relate to this. For more than a year I’ve been identifying as non-binary. During this time, I never really considered myself trans, but for the past six months or so, I’ve been questioning my gender once again. During this time, I’ve been considering transitioning, and thinking about identifying as male. Even though I’m in a very accepting community between my family and friends, up until a week or so ago, I hadn’t even mentioned how I’ve been feeling. But when I did bring up the subject to my mom, it became clear that she’s not as accepting as she initially seemed. She immediately made it clear that although she’s somewhat okay with me transitioning socially, she’s against anything beyond that. This doesn’t really matter right now because, like I said, I’m only thinking of trying it out to see if it feels right, and if it does, then moving onto thinking of starting t and getting surgery. But it still hurt to know that I wasn’t as supported as I thought I was. Even something like top surgery is something I’d likely end up getting even if I didn’t transition, just because of my dysphoria. I can’t help but feel like she still sees me as a girl and even if I did socially transition she would still view me the same way. It kind of feels like the reason she doesn’t want me making any physical changes is because then I would no longer be a girl to her. It feels like she doesn’t take me seriously and doesn’t want to, because if she does that means that she has to accept my gender identity, whatever that may be.
I relate, I've come out to my mom about being NB, and she's said she's fine with me wearing whatever I want but she's very against the idea of physical transition.
I am so sorry this happened to you and that you're in such an uncomfortable situation. It hurts when the people who are supposed to love make us feel that way. You can get through it, though!
It’s because I was so scared of this very same reaction that I took years to come out. I knew I was nonbinary for so long, but I was never sure if physically transitioning was something I both needed and wanted till a couple years ago. I didn’t come out except to people online and my then-girlfriend till I was able to see a gender therapist and start my physical transition because I didn’t want this to happen to me... Nothing hurts more than not being taken seriously. I’m so sorry you’re forced to endure this. I wish I was capable of offering more than words, but I hope that knowing you’re not alone in your struggle is at least helpful. Don’t give up! If you keep pushing forward and finding ways to forge your own path, your mom will eventually follow. Maybe even look for ways to help her understand or learn more about what you’re going through... whatever it is you feel ok doing.
My brother is binary trans and he has an issue where our mom. She will buy him men's clothes and cologne but she still gets mad and annoyed when people refer to my brother as a boy. I think it's because our mom knows that you can like masculine things without being a guy and you could like really girly things without being a girl. I think our mom doesn't realize that we know that and thinks "oh my daughters just a tomboy and she's putting to much into it". it's something inside you that tells you your gender and it's not just the clothes and activities you like
This reminds me that I needed to come out 3 times to my mo before she took it as serious and started using my name. Still working on pronouns tough, I hope hat will be easier once I start medically transitioning
You know what's the coolest thing about having Finnish as your native? We only have one, gender-neutral 3rd person pronoun "hän" (well, we also have another gender-neutral 3rd person pronoun "se" which means "it" but is commonly also used for humans in informal speech) 😊
I just started coming out to people as bisexual and this video really verbalized a lot of the feelings I have had with questioning my identity. This was so helpful for me.
I just want to say that as a 17-year-old in High school that is also the only Non-Binary or out Non-Binary that goes to my SOUTHERN school (If you Don't know, Southern high schools a really religious and judgy) that I really enjoy and appreciate yours and Ash's videos. Watching the two of you for the past couple of months helped me finally come out to my friends, then to my OvErLy SuPpOrTiVe boyfriend, then eventually to the entire school. With all of the hate that I have received from it, it has been wonderfully helpful and such to come home to see your videos
I dont have a gender :3 I dont consider myself trans, cis, OR non binary. I'm just an entity animating a body with genitalia. [Edit:] By the way, finally knowing what I am and being able to say it confidently gives me so much euphoria. I usually have to say I'm non binary for people to sort of understand, so saying it straight up is nice.
It's all ok. If you're non-binary that's great. Questioning is great. It turns out you were just confused and youre secretly binary that's great. Turns out to be a phase. It's all good. You're who you are and as long as you're comfortable with yourself and your identity. It's just... fine.
I'm genderqueer and bisexual. I really feel like I fit in nowhere. I also recently had a breast lift to alleviate the dysphoria I had after losing a lot of weight. I sort of wish that I had considered top surgery now, but I was afraid of going all the way because I would be even more alienated. There's no straight-passing way to explain removing your breasts. Thank you so much for doing this video. :)
Out of all the videos I've watched to try to understand why non-binary people might have dysphoria, this is the one that helped me understand best. Grace is so personable and I appreciate their input and explanation!
Its wonderful to hear this!! I identify as genderqueer and transmasc, and relate a lot to trans men because we have similar dysphoria and problems! Unfortunetly, especically online, a lot of binary trans folk seem scared that we make the entirety of the trans movement look "cringey" and push us away. As I write this, youtube is recommending I watch a video from a popular trans youtuber called "trans guy reacts to crazy sjw nonbinaries". yeuch. It's really affirming to hear this. :)
it wasn't a long video. i love this conversations, they are so important and interesting especially because you can see other people's point of view on the same subject. awesome.
Thank you for explaining both perspectives. I was never aware of how confusing this was for people outside of the community, and I feel even more educated on these types of issues.
I'm nonbinary/agender/androgynous and I've been in denial of it for a long time and identifed as a binary trans Male but I've recently accepted myself but I have no one around me who feels similarly and it's nice to know that other people have the same insecurities and lack of confidence and this just makes me feel so valid so much thank you SO MUCH
I actually had a very weird relationship with dysphoria. I didn't get any real dysphoria until I figured out I was trans, before that I just generally felt uncomfortable with how my body looked and completely misinterpreted every insecurity I had. Like, I would look down and feel bad about my boobs so my answer was to stuff my bra and wear very tight and revealing shirts, which just made me feel worse and I didn't understand why. Then when I came out as trans, I STILL didn't really understand my dysphoria and thought that I just wanted bigger boobs and phalloplasty and only like last year did I understand that no, I definitely don't want bigger boobs and I don't really want phalloplasty that badly. Did anybody else have anything similar happened to them?
Bless, I was waiting for this video since Jackson announced it yesterday and it is as lovely and informative as I thought it would be. You guys really do have a very good chemistry, makes for very easy and enjoyable watching.
I think objectively that at least in my experience, to others my questioning my gender to the extent that my body in my own eyes does not reflect my gender identity is so sudden that it looks like a phase or somehow illegitimate. That because I only recently began to really address all this stuff that it isn’t legit. The fear is real. But so is the pain and the discomfort. After years and years of questioning and repression and fear, I’m so tired, after years of experimentation that to others looks like comfort, I have concluded that I do want top surgery, and my name to change and I want my body and my name to reflect how I feel in myself. And my parents can’t understand this. Because they have t been privy to all this until now, when I’ve began to address it out loud with those around me they think it’s just a phase. I can point to experiences in my life that affirm how I feel and that is empowering, feels correct. Hitting fuck it with women’s bathroom lines and going into a mensa bathroom and having no one give a single shirt that I was even there was one of them. And others that are deeply uncomfortable, having someobody miss gender me as male and then immediately flip and say oh sorry miss is one of them like it’s fine before you correct yourself because neither is really correct. And I just can’t be bothered living inauthenticity anymore. I’m in my twenties and only now and I beginingnto think I might fit under the trans umbrella. And here in Australia, with the investigation I’ve done, these very little avenues out there to go down for upper and management. I do feel so deeply alone. I feel like why didn’t I begin to address his much earlier. Was I ready? Was I distracted? Was I scared, or just far too used to discomfort? That’s my experience so far...
I wasn't raised with strong gender expectations, and I don't get dysphoria or euphoria from gender stuff, so I think I'm basically cis despite being nonbinary. But I think there should be a community for people who experience this stuff differently than I do.
Thank you so much for this video. Having recently finally come out as NB myself (I’m 27), I can definitely relate to having to work through feeling “not trans enough”. Also thank you for captioning your videos!
5:23 "Uh-huh... Do you think that they really DO have more dysphoria than you?" omg Jackson continuing to be my favorite for being so damn validating ;_;
I'm cis but my partner is non-binary and there's this person I've been seeing recently who's non-binary too (I'm polyamorous) and I want to tell people they're enby but since I live in France and most words are gendered it's really hard to express neutrality
What I have done for Dutch for words that dont exist is either just used the English word or made up new words. But that was mostly in reference to (explaining) myself. Careful you dont hurt said person if you make up a word.
I recently realized that I am non binary/gender fluid/gender neutral and it has, on one hand, helped me to understand trans stories, but I’m also aware that actually taking on full transitioning and consistently feeling like u are one gender and u were not born as such is wayyyyyyy harder and different than my experience. I just feel like trans ppl are my brothers and sisters now whereas before I tried to understand and was empathetic, but now I feel like I can get it a lot more. I’m pansexual too and it’s the same kind of confusion that society has around anything non-binary, in general.
thanks for the video! two of some of my fav people. as someone who's questioning/nonbinary it's really healing to see this kind of stuff from people I look up to
Holy shit thank you for making this video!!!!!! I seriously might show this to my Mom when I come out to her again (the first time went pretty bad) and maybe the rest of my siblings who don’t quite understand my gender (demigirl/demiboy😋☺️). So, THANK YOU!!! I L O V E BOTH OF YOU TO PIECES!!💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕
8:05 THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN. My family is mostly male so I pass when around my family almost all the time but my friend group is mostly female so I don’t pass when I’m around them!!
Thank you for making this video! It's weird for me to think about passing, and I wonder if that's just the nature of who I am in this moment. So I'm AMAB, and identify as agender/fluid, but possibly just a girl (questioning?). I pass as a guy all day long, and I'm pretty comfortable with my body. I guess I just haven't had enough opportunity to explore my feminine side, so it's kind of in limbo right now. Hopefully one day I'll be able to, but I dunno. I'm rambling at this point. Agh, anyway, thank you!
I'm a recently questioning maybe nb person. I really love the conversations you are having on both your channels. And don't worry. I'm even older than you two! *Gasp*
I need help. So I am not completely a girl but I’m not a boy either. But I still like wearing more “girly” stuff sometimes like dresses but other times I would rather wear boy clothes. Also I sometimes imagine what life would be like as a boy but I have never had any dysphoria about being a girl?? What am I???
Holly Berries You could be androgynous which means that you are both partially male and female respectively, perhaps demigender where you are partially one gender and partially non binary, or you could even be gender fluid where you can be mainly female one day, mainly male another day and maybe non binary another day? Hope this helped ^^
you mentioned the line "I was bisexual before I cam out all the way" this line sort of applies to me, but not as a way of invalidating bisexuality. I THOUGHT I was bisexual before I came out as gay. It was just my way of telling myself it was a phase and I will in the end just be straight.
Yeah, my mom thinks trans is apparently a new thing and didn't know nonbinary people existed at all? And I'm too awkward to explain it to her. Also as a afab demigirl who realized more through the euphoria of she/they pronouns rather than any real dysphoria, I definitely don't feel like I "qualify" to be trans? Like, I'm still close to my assigned gender, so.. Idk.. Of course, this does not take away from any afab demigirl who does consider themself trans. You're all valid, I just don't think it fits me.
Grace dedinitely makes me question my sexuality. Like, I've always considered myself a straight cis woman. Jackson is a huge crush of mine (I knkw6 hes a trans dude... still a dude). But I've also recently discovered Ash and Grace and while both of them are amazing and smart and attractive, Grace seems to just be such a mature, intelligent, honest and interesting person. Their experiences seem to have given them such a wide worldview and that is so attractive to me. Keep fighting the good fight people! Much love x
when they said they were old I panicked and then they said "28" and my 23 year-old self felt so relieved. I definitely look older than both of them, yikes
One of the main reasons why I walked away from the LGBT+ community here in the UK was the unpleasent nature of mainly transwomen who didn't think I was trans enough. So sad as we're all on the same side. But being crappy to others when someone is being crappy to you is a very common thing we see in every aspect of human society. What's nice though is that we now have the language to describe things to people. So, I'm Genderqueer. And as that's a term you can look up on the net, it's useful to use in everyday conversation. Wish I had language like that growing up in the 1980s/90s as I was firmly in the closet back then. Hey ho, very out and proud now and just go about my life doing what I wish. Go you two and thanks for the video.
I think it makes a lot of sense. I don’t particularly see myself as trans however coming out with my family saw my Mum, particularly, as being very transphobic, something I didn’t realise she was previously. She had been very vocal as someone who said she was an ally to the lgbt community, turned out they were just words. Or the support only works when it’s not her child.
I recently came out as a non-binary trans-woman after years of presenting myself as female. It's been a long journey for me. Transitioned in 1995; had SRS in 2001. I just got tired of being "The trans-woman in the dress with makeup". I now wear women's jeans, a sensible blouse (sometimes I wear a man's long-sleeve shirt) and little or no makeup. As a result, I lost all of my binary trans friends.
I always just use the agender label. I don't feel like any gender in my head. But I feel very dysphoric about my physical appearance. I am out to 4 people though, and they all accepted me. But my backup plan like of they don't like they/them pronouns i will say he/him cause I'm a bit comfortable with that (I'm in a girls body do you see my issue)
Thank you so much for making this video. This stuff is something I worry about a lot as a femme-presenting genderfluid person (who was born female), especially since I don’t get dysphoria. Just weird brain glitches when things get mixed up (like getting confused for a second when being referred to as a woman when I just happen to be feeling like a guy). So this was really validating to watch, and has eased a lot of my anxiety and displacement about not “fitting” into either community. I might have teared up a little bit? Anyway, yeah, thanks. You’re awesome and I appreciate you
I see a lot of the gatekeeping of nonbinary people done by cis andn binary trans people so much. It gets frustrating at times and also tiring. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like we deal w/not being "acceptable" enough in either space. But you're right, they should respect and support us as much as we support them. I also felt so much on whether or not to come out until I was sure I was nonbinary, because I felt if I came off as questioning then I would be seen as fake and just going through a phase (which shouldn'tbe a bad thing because we all go through phases throughout our whole lives). Despite the fact some of us need to explore the gender spectrum to see where we identify, and sometimes our id changes through time. I wish more people accepted that instead of gatekeeping.
I completely get what you two were saying about it depending on the situation. I/m a nonbinary trans guy. Not on T but I do have short hair and wear a binder. Kids think I'm male. Occasionally at "male" events (I went to a Magic The Gathering convention) I'm read as male because "male" is the "normal" there. But if I go typically "female" places like fabric stores, I'm called "she" and "ma'am"
@GraceHardell Is it possible, do you think to be late blooming enby? I find myself questioning. I think I may be either grey gender or agender. But I am really scared and feel selfish if I share this with others. Also, as a mother, I feel that maybe I should not ever come out.
Wait....Trans is an umbrella term, and Non-binary is an umbrella term, so technically I'm Transgender, Non-binary, Demigirl, and lesbian(ish?). Welp....that's a lot of labels...
What is gender? Why is gender? How is gender? Will gender waffle?
Need answers.
How gender? What gay!
*Will gender waffle*
Jack needs to put this to the test. Next “Will It Waffle?” episode!!!!
I need to find out if gender waffles....
Does Bruno Mars is gay?
Okay, I'm 43 and non binary. You're not old. I'm old. Gosh....
M-Jay drives I’m 42 and non binary. 🙌🏽
HELL YEAH
I'm NB and I turn 44 next week! I actually feel 25 for the past 3 years. lol
Cool!!
54
but the real question is: WILL GENDER WAFFLE?
Me, an agender person: *puts gender in the hydraulic press*
A+ question!!!
Will it gender.
@@notscarlet8321
I don't gender either!
Cartoon Minty let’s talk about that
My sexuality is an urban legend and my gender is the 30 cents left in my bank account
This is a real mood.
30 cents? Ok big baller
From one "old" nonbinary person to whom "trans" often feels correct, to two kind and handsome dapper stylin' humans, thank you for the video! I appreciate you and this conversation. 🙇♂️💖
@Jett Jo johnson Why are you here?
Nonbinary only means "look at me, notice me, I am a narcissist!
That's the part that annoys me the most. When people act like non binary/agender or gender non conforming identities are somehow "new" or "made up"
Nareus Hardin the made up thing is what really gets to me it’s really awful
Like they said, "I *get* it...but c'mon."
Yes, there have been several indigenous and ancient cultures who recognised more than two genders. Today in south Asia 'third gender' is legally recognised and i think many of us have encountered the term '2-spirit' people as described by Native American culture. These aren't even the only examples.
Joycelin lgbtQ Just a question. What countries in South Asia? South Asia is a big place. Also are you aware what specific Native American groups. Not trying to say you are wrong I’ve heard these things too, it’s just I feel you are being a bit broad.
.....they are
I believe part of the problem is that there are some binary-trans ppl who don't believe non-binary identities are real, they accuse us of being 'transtrenders' ugh I hate that word.
Well, another part of the problem are people who are "transtrenders", of which I've known a couple. I usually try my best to keep an open mind because there are many forms of gender expression and each one is personal. However, I've known one too many people who regurgitate thoughts expressed by actual trans people and then act in a way that contradicts any claim they've made.
Well, I'm nonbinary, but I prefer to say I'm trans, because nonbinary feels like a very restricted identity, so I prefer to say I'm trans and use they/them pronouns.
i hate following trends so why would i do that lol
Sam Firefly what makes someone a ‘transtrender’?
@@MossFirefly How does one act in a way that contradicts being non-binary? Are they being transphobic? Praising JK Rowling?
"What is gender, why is gender, how is gender" MOOD GOOD LORD ABOVE I've never identified with a sentiment more in my life.
Fully convinced gender is just a mushy pile of mush, btw.
its just a bunch of wibbly wobbly gendy bendy stuff
Who is gender
Hah get high and everything you get over thinking will feel like that
I almost cried when they said "but I also want them to be an ally for me" 😭😭😭 that whole section was so needed, more people need to see this😞
ya'll are so great, love you both 💕💕
I so relate. I wrote a non-binary character in a novel and my sister who helps me edit wouldn't edit it because she said they-them was too hard to read and she doesn't think non-binary exists. It was really frustrating. I'm not trans nor non-binary but as a child I was totally a tomboy. I got misgendered so many times. I so understand and hope to be a cis ally! XOXOXO 🤗🤗🤗
@Celia Lazuli By challenging myself with a beautiful non-binary character, I am also able to work on editing. I definitely over use pronouns. But seriously my sis wanted me to use Zi-Zir so it wouldn't be as confusing. When I read they-them as a singular it wasn't all that crazy. Wouldn't mind if someone is up for reading my work and giving feedback. It's hard to get open minded peeps that understand non-binary and trans characters
Kieran yes!
A bit of interesting writing advice; sometimes, if you can get a character to have more than one name, or thing people refer to them by it can help with repetitvity. When I was younger I liked a book series in which the protagonist had two names the book refers to him by, and it can made it a little less repetitive to say, he did this, name did this. Then you have a second name to say did this or something.
@@peachrossman1903 great idea. Do you have any titles that I could look at?
@@vCoralSandsv you can also use descriptive terms to refer to them as, e.g. 'the young brunette' or something relating to their role 'the adventurer', 'the uniform-clad child', 'the sales person'.
There’s also a lot of binary trans men and women who don’t understand non-binary trans people which is kinda frustrating because we’re very similar
@@Jack-cd2wl well you have to remember the science for binary trans stuff is only just coming out because the Western concept is relatively new, and non binary stuff is even newer and less recognized meaning hasn't been any research done yet, so it's a little unfair to compare the two. But then again there's still dysphoria... IDK
NOT similar unless a nonbinary person has dysphoria other than that one is not the same as the other.... which is fine, nothing wrong with being nb but if you don’t have dysphoria then you’re not a “ trans nonbinary “ person you’re just nonbinary, which again is okay.
@@beepboop9519, not all trans folks experience dysphoria, so I wouldn't call that a defining factor of being transgender. It's still debated whether "requiring" feelings of gender dysphoria as a requisite to identifying as trans is helpful beyond convincing insurance companies to pay for healthcare.
transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/not-all-trans-folks-dysphoria/
I'm personally of the opinion that treating dysphoria as a box to be checked reinforces the mindset that identifying as trans is in and of itself a mental health condition, rather than treating dysphoria and the oft-accompanying depression and anxiety as symptoms brought on by unsupportive and restrictive environments. Someday I hope there can be studies done about the presence of dysphoria (or lack thereof) in cultures where third gender/gender-nonconforming people are more common and haven't been as influenced by the West's severe gender binary, both historically and currently. (Researchers will be hard-pressed because imperialism and Christian missionaries were far-reaching, but I'm sure there's a group of grad students out there up for the challenge.)
I'm nonbinary (somewhat genderfluid in personal sense of myself and expression, though generally pretty androgynous-feeling) and I experience dysphoria (mostly mild, sometimes debilitating) maybe 50% of the time. It's usually set on by other people who don't understand gender beyond cisfemale and cismale (and I don't have cards that say "hi, my gender is nonbinary, my preferred pronouns are they/them/themselves...it's weird when you refer to me as 'she' and part of a group of 'ladies' when everyone else in that group is cisfemale so please try not to...even if I'm wearing a dress and appear to have breasts, I'm still nonbinary." And even if I did, I'd feel like a butt handing those out all over the place. But maybe it would help. I dunno aaaggghhh...)
trey combs wait when did I say otherwise???
Also gender euphoria is a thing that I would say is equally, if not more important than dysphoria (though the jury’s out on whether you can have one without the other)
@@Jack-cd2wl Would you mind getting me the references to the scientific studies from the early 1900s?
This makes me really happy. I always say I'm too binary for the trans world and too non binary for the cis world. There is no happy place. And it makes it really hard to find people to relate to. I am far to insecure to put myself in trans spaces for fear that people will think I'm not trans enough to be there.
Honestly education is so important. I'm cis so take my thoughts at a grain of salt. But I don't find non-binary people that hard to understand. I've purposely watched a lot of trans related things on UA-cam from both you guys, Ash, Chase Ross, and others to learn all I can. And I have learned quite a lot. But I found it really understandable. Just have to be open to hearing from people who live it and learning from what information is out there. It's only confusing if you haven't put that much thought into it and maybe haven't bothered to try to educate yourself.
That's literally how I always thought it was used anyway. Like I've been using it that way for forever. I've just now practiced to use it more often for folks who don't use he or she as a pronoun.
YOU ARE A GOD SEND!!!
GarlicKiss You are not “cis”. There is no such noun.
This is so true. Some people just want to be confused because they just don’t like it. They just want people to be like THEM to make themselves feel better
My FtM friend doesn’t respect my enby partner’s pronouns or name. He also doesn’t believe in pansexuality and thinks that aro/ace people aren’t real. The not respecting pronouns is so weird because he hates being misgendered
U should show him this video
Talia I think I will
@Jett Jo johnson you missed the whole video huh?
@Jett Jo johnson Its pretty sad that you as someone who understands how much it sucks to be misgendered or have the wrong pronouns used, is not willing to use the pronouns someone else prefers. Just plain sad.
@Jett Jo johnson Oh, come on. I mean, I get that it might confuse sis people, but you know what it's like being gender disphoric and your going to make a enby person feel disphoric to help yourself or whatever?
I identity as Genderfluid...on the non-binary spectrum.
But I was told that it was trans and I was technically on the trans spectrum just not binary and I'm so freaking confused...cause then trans binaries are like "oh non-binarys aren't trans they're just non existent snowflakes."
And...I'm just sitting here, barbeque sauce on my titties like "Who am I?"
Be who you feel like and want to be and feel comfortable and happy as
I may or may not be crying in class. Wow I'm sensitive.
I found out I was non-binary only maybe a year ago, and I've been battling dysphoria for a lot more. When I eventually came out it only got worse because of all the hate (even from fellow trans people). I'm so glad people like you exist. Sending a distance hug!
Edit: omg y'all are so sweet. Thank you!
from one enby to another, i offer many hugs!! finding a good support group is important but also can be really difficult depending on location and personal restraints. hoping things improve for you soon!
As a fellow enby you have all of my support and well wishes.
Thanks. For a long time while I was questioning I didn't feel like I was "allowed" to claim the trans label as a non-binary person, because I felt like I couldn't compare my situation to that of binary trans people, and I've met other non-cis people who feel similarly. Thanks for being accepting and affirming Jack, it does a lot to ease that worry.
When I was questioning I found trans guys talking about nonbinary people as if they were weirdos and need therapy for identifying as nonbinary, and it scared my so much I repressed it for several years....
So sad 😢
so excited for this video! I love both of you guys. i’m so happy that Grace is taking the time they need to figure out their gender. this video is so positive for the trans community!
@Jett Jo johnson I have an idea! Eat shit
YES PLEASE COMPLIMENT US. My friend told me this morning that she thought I was looking a lot like a guy recently and I stg I sobbed for 10 minutes. Nobody had ever said that to me and it felt SO GOOD.
Hope you're doing well now Bennett and get to hear that all the time (:
Cis bro™️: where is gender?
Jack: I’ll do you one better, *what* is gender?
Grace: I’ll do *you* one better: why is gender??
😍😘😘💙💚💛💜💕💕💝
I’m non binary/genderfluid. I hadn’t considered myself as Trans because the word transition suggests to me it’s a movement in one direction towards an end goal
Correct. You end up looking like a man.
I thought the trans flag and bisexual flag were flags of inclusion anyways because of the white in the trans flag and the purple in bisexual flag.
Ahhh this was such an AMAZING convo/collab! 🙏
Not 100% related to the video, but I feel like a lot of people in arguments suddenly say "what makes you say I'm a man/woman?" when you call them "dude", "gal" or something. I find it super petty. If you're non-binary and I've misgendered you, sorry, let me know what pronouns I should use. But like in my experience it's never the case, it's just a petty way to try and win an argument that is based on making fun of non-binary people and the coming-out process. Coming-out is hard and isn't just said lightly like this. If you support and respect non-binary people don't do that. Thanks.
I've just recently come out as Non-Binary, and I'm still struggling to find my place
I had all of the same fears when I was questioning, before I came out confidently as nonbinary+trans. And also I feel you both on the situational misgendering. I get he'd when I'm with trans guys and she'd with women.
Really loved this!! And especially as a fellow “old” 28 year old non binary person 😂
Lol apparently I'm ancient. I'm 34!!!!
Love this. Educate people. Be Gay, do an educate
just me can I use this as my life motto? Lol
@HiMyNameisPeter yeet
One of the things mentioned in this was people questioning, or thinking about transitioning not being taken seriously, and I just have to say I really relate to this. For more than a year I’ve been identifying as non-binary. During this time, I never really considered myself trans, but for the past six months or so, I’ve been questioning my gender once again. During this time, I’ve been considering transitioning, and thinking about identifying as male. Even though I’m in a very accepting community between my family and friends, up until a week or so ago, I hadn’t even mentioned how I’ve been feeling. But when I did bring up the subject to my mom, it became clear that she’s not as accepting as she initially seemed. She immediately made it clear that although she’s somewhat okay with me transitioning socially, she’s against anything beyond that. This doesn’t really matter right now because, like I said, I’m only thinking of trying it out to see if it feels right, and if it does, then moving onto thinking of starting t and getting surgery. But it still hurt to know that I wasn’t as supported as I thought I was. Even something like top surgery is something I’d likely end up getting even if I didn’t transition, just because of my dysphoria. I can’t help but feel like she still sees me as a girl and even if I did socially transition she would still view me the same way. It kind of feels like the reason she doesn’t want me making any physical changes is because then I would no longer be a girl to her. It feels like she doesn’t take me seriously and doesn’t want to, because if she does that means that she has to accept my gender identity, whatever that may be.
I relate, I've come out to my mom about being NB, and she's said she's fine with me wearing whatever I want but she's very against the idea of physical transition.
I am so sorry this happened to you and that you're in such an uncomfortable situation. It hurts when the people who are supposed to love make us feel that way. You can get through it, though!
It’s because I was so scared of this very same reaction that I took years to come out. I knew I was nonbinary for so long, but I was never sure if physically transitioning was something I both needed and wanted till a couple years ago. I didn’t come out except to people online and my then-girlfriend till I was able to see a gender therapist and start my physical transition because I didn’t want this to happen to me...
Nothing hurts more than not being taken seriously. I’m so sorry you’re forced to endure this. I wish I was capable of offering more than words, but I hope that knowing you’re not alone in your struggle is at least helpful.
Don’t give up! If you keep pushing forward and finding ways to forge your own path, your mom will eventually follow. Maybe even look for ways to help her understand or learn more about what you’re going through... whatever it is you feel ok doing.
My brother is binary trans and he has an issue where our mom. She will buy him men's clothes and cologne but she still gets mad and annoyed when people refer to my brother as a boy. I think it's because our mom knows that you can like masculine things without being a guy and you could like really girly things without being a girl. I think our mom doesn't realize that we know that and thinks "oh my daughters just a tomboy and she's putting to much into it". it's something inside you that tells you your gender and it's not just the clothes and activities you like
This reminds me that I needed to come out 3 times to my mo before she took it as serious and started using my name. Still working on pronouns tough, I hope hat will be easier once I start medically transitioning
You know what's the coolest thing about having Finnish as your native? We only have one, gender-neutral 3rd person pronoun "hän" (well, we also have another gender-neutral 3rd person pronoun "se" which means "it" but is commonly also used for humans in informal speech) 😊
I just started coming out to people as bisexual and this video really verbalized a lot of the feelings I have had with questioning my identity. This was so helpful for me.
Clicked by accident, saw the title, YESYESYESYESYESYES
I love our chats ♥️
I just want to say that as a 17-year-old in High school that is also the only Non-Binary or out Non-Binary that goes to my SOUTHERN school (If you Don't know, Southern high schools a really religious and judgy) that I really enjoy and appreciate yours and Ash's videos. Watching the two of you for the past couple of months helped me finally come out to my friends, then to my OvErLy SuPpOrTiVe boyfriend, then eventually to the entire school. With all of the hate that I have received from it, it has been wonderfully helpful and such to come home to see your videos
I was today years old when I realized that people my age are considered “old” to the internet 😭😭
I dont have a gender :3 I dont consider myself trans, cis, OR non binary. I'm just an entity animating a body with genitalia.
[Edit:] By the way, finally knowing what I am and being able to say it confidently gives me so much euphoria. I usually have to say I'm non binary for people to sort of understand, so saying it straight up is nice.
I'm a questioning nonbinary person and holy shit I have never felt so validated in my life.
It's all ok. If you're non-binary that's great. Questioning is great. It turns out you were just confused and youre secretly binary that's great. Turns out to be a phase. It's all good. You're who you are and as long as you're comfortable with yourself and your identity. It's just... fine.
I'm genderqueer and bisexual. I really feel like I fit in nowhere. I also recently had a breast lift to alleviate the dysphoria I had after losing a lot of weight. I sort of wish that I had considered top surgery now, but I was afraid of going all the way because I would be even more alienated. There's no straight-passing way to explain removing your breasts. Thank you so much for doing this video. :)
Out of all the videos I've watched to try to understand why non-binary people might have dysphoria, this is the one that helped me understand best. Grace is so personable and I appreciate their input and explanation!
Its wonderful to hear this!! I identify as genderqueer and transmasc, and relate a lot to trans men because we have similar dysphoria and problems! Unfortunetly, especically online, a lot of binary trans folk seem scared that we make the entirety of the trans movement look "cringey" and push us away. As I write this, youtube is recommending I watch a video from a popular trans youtuber called "trans guy reacts to crazy sjw nonbinaries". yeuch. It's really affirming to hear this. :)
you both reminding me that being bisexual exists helps me feel so much better
it wasn't a long video. i love this conversations, they are so important and interesting especially because you can see other people's point of view on the same subject. awesome.
Thank you for explaining both perspectives. I was never aware of how confusing this was for people outside of the community, and I feel even more educated on these types of issues.
I'm nonbinary/agender/androgynous and I've been in denial of it for a long time and identifed as a binary trans Male but I've recently accepted myself but I have no one around me who feels similarly and it's nice to know that other people have the same insecurities and lack of confidence and this just makes me feel so valid so much thank you SO MUCH
I actually had a very weird relationship with dysphoria. I didn't get any real dysphoria until I figured out I was trans, before that I just generally felt uncomfortable with how my body looked and completely misinterpreted every insecurity I had. Like, I would look down and feel bad about my boobs so my answer was to stuff my bra and wear very tight and revealing shirts, which just made me feel worse and I didn't understand why. Then when I came out as trans, I STILL didn't really understand my dysphoria and thought that I just wanted bigger boobs and phalloplasty and only like last year did I understand that no, I definitely don't want bigger boobs and I don't really want phalloplasty that badly.
Did anybody else have anything similar happened to them?
Bless, I was waiting for this video since Jackson announced it yesterday and it is as lovely and informative as I thought it would be.
You guys really do have a very good chemistry, makes for very easy and enjoyable watching.
I think objectively that at least in my experience, to others my questioning my gender to the extent that my body in my own eyes does not reflect my gender identity is so sudden that it looks like a phase or somehow illegitimate. That because I only recently began to really address all this stuff that it isn’t legit. The fear is real. But so is the pain and the discomfort. After years and years of questioning and repression and fear, I’m so tired, after years of experimentation that to others looks like comfort, I have concluded that I do want top surgery, and my name to change and I want my body and my name to reflect how I feel in myself. And my parents can’t understand this. Because they have t been privy to all this until now, when I’ve began to address it out loud with those around me they think it’s just a phase. I can point to experiences in my life that affirm how I feel and that is empowering, feels correct. Hitting fuck it with women’s bathroom lines and going into a mensa bathroom and having no one give a single shirt that I was even there was one of them. And others that are deeply uncomfortable, having someobody miss gender me as male and then immediately flip and say oh sorry miss is one of them like it’s fine before you correct yourself because neither is really correct. And I just can’t be bothered living inauthenticity anymore. I’m in my twenties and only now and I beginingnto think I might fit under the trans umbrella. And here in Australia, with the investigation I’ve done, these very little avenues out there to go down for upper and management. I do feel so deeply alone. I feel like why didn’t I begin to address his much earlier. Was I ready? Was I distracted? Was I scared, or just far too used to discomfort? That’s my experience so far...
Grace sounds so Minnesotan! I love that!
"Old person" nonbinary person here. I'm 60.
as a nb person this was so nice to hear, so wonderful to see and this was awesome, great job folks :)
I wasn't raised with strong gender expectations, and I don't get dysphoria or euphoria from gender stuff, so I think I'm basically cis despite being nonbinary. But I think there should be a community for people who experience this stuff differently than I do.
I'm a big fan of you and Grace so I'm excited you did this video together.
Thank you so much for this video. Having recently finally come out as NB myself (I’m 27), I can definitely relate to having to work through feeling “not trans enough”. Also thank you for captioning your videos!
5:23 "Uh-huh... Do you think that they really DO have more dysphoria than you?" omg Jackson continuing to be my favorite for being so damn validating ;_;
Wibbly wobbly! Oh man I adore you Jackson!
I was really waiting for wibbly wobbly timey wimey though ^^
I'm cis but my partner is non-binary and there's this person I've been seeing recently who's non-binary too (I'm polyamorous) and I want to tell people they're enby but since I live in France and most words are gendered it's really hard to express neutrality
What I have done for Dutch for words that dont exist is either just used the English word or made up new words. But that was mostly in reference to (explaining) myself. Careful you dont hurt said person if you make up a word.
I recently realized that I am non binary/gender fluid/gender neutral and it has, on one hand, helped me to understand trans stories, but I’m also aware that actually taking on full transitioning and consistently feeling like u are one gender and u were not born as such is wayyyyyyy harder and different than my experience.
I just feel like trans ppl are my brothers and sisters now whereas before I tried to understand and was empathetic, but now I feel like I can get it a lot more.
I’m pansexual too and it’s the same kind of confusion that society has around anything non-binary, in general.
thanks for the video! two of some of my fav people. as someone who's questioning/nonbinary it's really healing to see this kind of stuff from people I look up to
Ooo I love the word dapper 🤙🏻 I use that all the time lol
Holy shit thank you for making this video!!!!!! I seriously might show this to my Mom when I come out to her again (the first time went pretty bad) and maybe the rest of my siblings who don’t quite understand my gender (demigirl/demiboy😋☺️). So, THANK YOU!!! I L O V E BOTH OF YOU TO PIECES!!💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕
8:05 THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN. My family is mostly male so I pass when around my family almost all the time but my friend group is mostly female so I don’t pass when I’m around them!!
Thank you for making this video! It's weird for me to think about passing, and I wonder if that's just the nature of who I am in this moment. So I'm AMAB, and identify as agender/fluid, but possibly just a girl (questioning?). I pass as a guy all day long, and I'm pretty comfortable with my body. I guess I just haven't had enough opportunity to explore my feminine side, so it's kind of in limbo right now. Hopefully one day I'll be able to, but I dunno. I'm rambling at this point. Agh, anyway, thank you!
I'm a recently questioning maybe nb person. I really love the conversations you are having on both your channels. And don't worry. I'm even older than you two! *Gasp*
Thankyou so much for making this video I just really needed it
I need help. So I am not completely a girl but I’m not a boy either. But I still like wearing more “girly” stuff sometimes like dresses but other times I would rather wear boy clothes. Also I sometimes imagine what life would be like as a boy but I have never had any dysphoria about being a girl?? What am I???
Holly Berries You could be androgynous which means that you are both partially male and female respectively, perhaps demigender where you are partially one gender and partially non binary, or you could even be gender fluid where you can be mainly female one day, mainly male another day and maybe non binary another day? Hope this helped ^^
Maddie Hill thank you this did help me❤️
you mentioned the line "I was bisexual before I cam out all the way" this line sort of applies to me, but not as a way of invalidating bisexuality. I THOUGHT I was bisexual before I came out as gay. It was just my way of telling myself it was a phase and I will in the end just be straight.
I have been through every stage of this, and for everyone who ever worries about it, you are trans enough and I love you and you're valid
Yeah, my mom thinks trans is apparently a new thing and didn't know nonbinary people existed at all? And I'm too awkward to explain it to her.
Also as a afab demigirl who realized more through the euphoria of she/they pronouns rather than any real dysphoria, I definitely don't feel like I "qualify" to be trans? Like, I'm still close to my assigned gender, so.. Idk.. Of course, this does not take away from any afab demigirl who does consider themself trans. You're all valid, I just don't think it fits me.
Grace dedinitely makes me question my sexuality. Like, I've always considered myself a straight cis woman. Jackson is a huge crush of mine (I knkw6 hes a trans dude... still a dude). But I've also recently discovered Ash and Grace and while both of them are amazing and smart and attractive, Grace seems to just be such a mature, intelligent, honest and interesting person. Their experiences seem to have given them such a wide worldview and that is so attractive to me.
Keep fighting the good fight people! Much love x
when they said they were old I panicked and then they said "28" and my 23 year-old self felt so relieved. I definitely look older than both of them, yikes
I'm questioning if am non binary so this helps some.🌺
I'm nonbinary and I relate so much to grace
I'm a bi enby, so I get both types of not being taken seriously! Yay!
One of the main reasons why I walked away from the LGBT+ community here in the UK was the unpleasent nature of mainly transwomen who didn't think I was trans enough. So sad as we're all on the same side. But being crappy to others when someone is being crappy to you is a very common thing we see in every aspect of human society. What's nice though is that we now have the language to describe things to people. So, I'm Genderqueer. And as that's a term you can look up on the net, it's useful to use in everyday conversation. Wish I had language like that growing up in the 1980s/90s as I was firmly in the closet back then. Hey ho, very out and proud now and just go about my life doing what I wish. Go you two and thanks for the video.
Finally, this is awesome and highly needed
I really appreciate these people, they make me feel so comfortable
I just stumbled upon your channel and love it, thanks for this great video!
I think it makes a lot of sense. I don’t particularly see myself as trans however coming out with my family saw my Mum, particularly, as being very transphobic, something I didn’t realise she was previously. She had been very vocal as someone who said she was an ally to the lgbt community, turned out they were just words. Or the support only works when it’s not her child.
I recently came out as a non-binary trans-woman after years of presenting myself as female. It's been a long journey for me. Transitioned in 1995; had SRS in 2001. I just got tired of being "The trans-woman in the dress with makeup". I now wear women's jeans, a sensible blouse (sometimes I wear a man's long-sleeve shirt) and little or no makeup. As a result, I lost all of my binary trans friends.
Love this👌 Relate with Grace so much right now
"i just wanna be on the shirt with ya!" made me laugh
I always just use the agender label. I don't feel like any gender in my head. But I feel very dysphoric about my physical appearance. I am out to 4 people though, and they all accepted me. But my backup plan like of they don't like they/them pronouns i will say he/him cause I'm a bit comfortable with that (I'm in a girls body do you see my issue)
Thank you so much for making this video. This stuff is something I worry about a lot as a femme-presenting genderfluid person (who was born female), especially since I don’t get dysphoria. Just weird brain glitches when things get mixed up (like getting confused for a second when being referred to as a woman when I just happen to be feeling like a guy). So this was really validating to watch, and has eased a lot of my anxiety and displacement about not “fitting” into either community. I might have teared up a little bit? Anyway, yeah, thanks. You’re awesome and I appreciate you
I see a lot of the gatekeeping of nonbinary people done by cis andn binary trans people so much. It gets frustrating at times and also tiring. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like we deal w/not being "acceptable" enough in either space. But you're right, they should respect and support us as much as we support them.
I also felt so much on whether or not to come out until I was sure I was nonbinary, because I felt if I came off as questioning then I would be seen as fake and just going through a phase (which shouldn'tbe a bad thing because we all go through phases throughout our whole lives). Despite the fact some of us need to explore the gender spectrum to see where we identify, and sometimes our id changes through time. I wish more people accepted that instead of gatekeeping.
Also two-spirit native americans (:
Tatyana Bellamy - Walker What about them? Anyone who isn’t a Native American cannot use this term.
@@xbduf4gb bingo^^
Anyone else think Ash and Grace have similar voices...?
I needed this video so much!! This is exactly what I’m going through right now. Thank you so much 💜
I was literally about to ask Grace to make a video on this yesterday but I didn't know how to phrase it. Thank you for validating my nonbinary-ness.
I completely get what you two were saying about it depending on the situation. I/m a nonbinary trans guy. Not on T but I do have short hair and wear a binder. Kids think I'm male. Occasionally at "male" events (I went to a Magic The Gathering convention) I'm read as male because "male" is the "normal" there. But if I go typically "female" places like fabric stores, I'm called "she" and "ma'am"
I love how happy and smiley they are. It really radiates
And here I am a 15 yo with chronic illnesses (Ehlers-Danlos) in more pain than almost all middle aged people.
As a cis guy who may or may not be like 2-5% nonbinary, I appreciate the disclaimer at 9:51
Y’all are great. This video was helpful for me, thank you so much
@GraceHardell Is it possible, do you think to be late blooming enby? I find myself questioning. I think I may be either grey gender or agender. But I am really scared and feel selfish if I share this with others. Also, as a mother, I feel that maybe I should not ever come out.
I’m 36; I came out as nonbinary at 35 lol. You’re not ~old~
Wait....Trans is an umbrella term, and Non-binary is an umbrella term, so technically I'm Transgender, Non-binary, Demigirl, and lesbian(ish?).
Welp....that's a lot of labels...
You guys are amazing. So intelligent ❤️❤️.
I think that describing gender as "wibbly-wobbly" is pretty accurate.
6:56 btw