When Women Create Drama, Do This...
Вставка
- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- A soft next is one of your most useful tools in the relationship toolbox, and should be used when a woman you are seeing invites drama into your life unnecessarily.
Channel Sponsor: You're showering anyways, so why not buy handmade soap from a sponsor that supports the creation of my content. Use code "COOPER" at checkout and Get 10% off Tactical Soap mentioned at the end of the video here: bit.ly/2jQEZbz
Send business/sponsorship inquiries to EntrepreneursinCars@gmail.com
======================================================
HOW TO GET COACHING:
Phone Coaching: clarity.fm/ric...
Request a Video: entrepreneursi...
======================================================
Join my email list: entrepreneursi...
======================================================
JOIN MY PRIVATE MENS COMMUNITY
The absolute best way to connect with me, and 400+ men chasing excellence, is to join my private community for men.
It's a monthly subscription, and the exclusive content is commercial free, catered towards men living better lives, and will never be found publicly on my channel.
You will get direct access to me and:
1) In depth private videos to help men master, self-care, money, biz and inter-sexual dynamics
2) Access a secret Facebook community men working on themselves
3) Join private bi-weekly live Q&A hangout sessions with me
4) 25% discount on my 1 on 1 coaching rate.
All of the above perks can be had on my website: entrepreneursin...
======================================================
Bitcoin Donations
BTC address:
1L1AUHgPeEWXr5AeG6eStRpHsa93FBSNuk
======================================================
FAQs
That thing on my wall: • My Torso Cast
What I do for a living: • What I do for a living
======================================================
© Richard Cooper - For all business inquires contact EntrepreneursinCars@Gmail.com
This video is not to be reproduced without prior authorization. The original UA-cam video may be distributed & embedded, if required.
#Love #Dating #Relationships
CHANNEL SPONSOR: You're showering anyways, so why not buy handmade soap from a sponsor that supports the creation of my content. Use code "COOPER" at checkout and Get 10% off Tactical Soap mentioned here: bit.ly/2jQEZbz
GET MY BOOK: amzn.to/3fIVW3J
GET 1 ON 1 COACHING WITH ME TODAY: clarity.fm/richardcooper
* PLEASE NOTE, I OFFER COACHING AT A 40% DISCOUNT WHEN YOU BOOK AN HOUR ME & PAY WITH BITCOIN, EMAIL ME (ADDY ON 'ABOUT' PAGE OF CHANNEL TO ARRANGE) *
AMAZON BOOKS & PRODUCTS I ENDORSE FOR MEN: www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-a03634c5
JOIN MY PRIVATE COMMUNITY: You get exclusive premium videos, my private Facebook community & MUCH more, start here: www.entrepreneursincars.com/community
REQUEST A VIDEO TOPIC: entrepreneursincars.com/request
GET A FREE CHAPTER FROM MY BOOK ON 20 RED FLAGS TO AVOID WITH WOMEN: entrepreneursincars.com/red-flags/
SUB MY CLIPS CHANNEL: ua-cam.com/users/RichCooperClips
how dare u fucking insinuate that i.....i SHOWER!! Im so triggered
---- Some ignored people, know the past and the future, like this one in the following video:
Psychological Warfare & Subversion Cultural Marxism, Islamism and Feminism
Every 72 hours she would make up some shit to fight about == look up "BPD".
FYI, when you disappear for 3-4 days, many women will contact their friends with benefits, or make a quick hunt on the local Craigslist.
Hi, Rich. I found a little typo on your website, it's on your private community sign-up page under the 'Basic Membership' banner. Figured it's not worth e-mailing you about so I'll leave a comment here.
If you're the beta to her, do this anyways and if she doesn't come back, it's fine. You really needed to spend the time working on or being by yourself anyways.
Amen
Just be careful and don't elevate her desire by doing this
The soft next doubles as a shit test. If she doesn't have genuine burning desire for you than you're better off without her.
Agree
I wish I would've known this 20 years ago, could've saved myself a lot of trouble.
The word “No” and your feet moving are useful tools.
A simple "No" and walk away works wonders. Don't explain anything. Just say "No." It doesn't take many of these for them to get the message.
Yep this works. Respect yourself to get respect
The least useful ones are garden tools
I love this
The only ones required most of the time
Every Woman: “I hate drama”.
Also Women: “That’s not how you fold towels”.
😂😂😂
I mean, there are objectivly better and worse ways to fold towels, but if they are just being stored in the hamper it doesn't matter
I can’t fucking stand it when men fold towels the wrong way. Or when they buy original sour cream when you specifically asked for light sour cream.
@@lauramorgan27 have you been assesed by a psychiatrist?
@@lauramorgan27 well then you dont hate drama if thats already "can’t fucking stand", its more like you actually like drama
You're basically saying treat them like misbehaving children.
Spot on. And if they don't want to be treated like misbehaving children they should stop acting like them.
what's the difference?
Yes, I have 8 kids and they have to be treated the same as my kids when they don't behave.
@@markdanielsmarksinspiratio3547 8 kids?! Not very environmentally conscious are you.
@@metastract nope
Some women are also experts at creating bad situations and then getting mad at the way you react to it.
This falls under the same umbrella.
Yup. My ex got drunk, called me a piece of shit, a loser, was spitting everywhere, and when I finally called her a name back, she was mad at me. Said it was worse cause I was “retaliating” and her saying it was ok cause she was upset. 😂
@Rose Roberson I think it was more immaturity than anything, but yeah. ZERO accountability.
They subconsciously create it as a test, to make sure you have self respect by telling her to stop without explaining yourself or walking away or not reacting at all, but only do it with a woman you're attracted to and she'll do it less as you prove your masculinity
Can we elaborate on this more? I keep falling into their traps in relationships after the honeymoon phase.
Was in a 72-hour chaos calendar relationship. Now she's someone else's problem & I feel great!
Good job congratulations
Look up BPD.
@@deomnibusdubitandum1759 I dont have to. Studied and lived it a few times. The gem in my example has manic depression and is narcissistic to her core. She was able to hide it for almost a year.
@@doit9854 May help others. Those bombs are rarely diagnosed so people should inform themselves.
@@deomnibusdubitandum1759 Especially when you're dealing with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I'd more call them grenades because the aggressor throws them at their victims and come out unscathed & without any guilt or self-blame. Sad times.
Did this, and she broke up with me. In reality she just wasn’t interested in me enough. Harsh reality but I’m glad I’m out of that relationship.
🤣Bout to say something similar. If you ghost her and she don't comeback.....GOOD!🙌🏻💯
Better to know early and without doubt where you stand with a woman. You're fortunate.
You got it out of the way at the right time, bro.
@@fl3082 bingo
Lucky. Can’t wait for us to break up
When you use the soft next be prepared to be called a narcissist and emotional abuser. If that happens soft next her again. Everytime a man does something for his own good, he is a narcissist. When a woman does it, she is self empowered.
Very very true!!!
This is exactly what my wife has done. And now she's gray rocking me.
Amen
Narcissism comes from childhood trauma.
@@Matthewsala What is gray rocking? Please enlighten me.
The biggest power men have over women is the ability to walk away
^this^
We also don't expire
Hence the pro-feminist fucking Family Courts stepping in to interfere to make it harder for men to walk away without losing half their stash.
Unless she is a stalker and runs after him with a chainsaw..., !!Oh, which btw is what happens to a lot of women when they try to exercise the same power and get some obsessive psycho that just won’t get no for an answer or’ leave me alone...! ‘ Yeah.. shit happens. It’s the kind of power that many women pay with their lives for... just stats bro
@@eddielong8663 pro- children... actually.
Men can’t just walk away...! If they spread their seed they have to own up and man-Up! Walking away is NOT an option. Children are the victims! We ve all been children at some stage..
Men too often DO walk away... hence the power of the law! Bring them to accountability and responsibility... no-one is above the law. Not even footloose and fancy-free players
Never ever overtly express that she is your one and only. Competition anxiety is a powerful thing gents.
Yea, but you know, there are good hearted women of good moral values and God fearing so I wouldn’t do that to a girl of her type. They are rare granted, but if she checks out with your spirit then it’s all good.
@@mr.j3371 It goes to the fact that rules are to be broken. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man with options. The force of genuine desire trumps all predetermined mindsets. A man must stay fluid. She should endure the current instead of a gentle ride downstream.
@@mr.j3371 Don't believe those "God fearing" women. Some use this image to manipulate men and proclaim innocence.
Okay, make her feel like she's not your one and only and be prepared for the day when she leaves you for someone else and doesn't look back.
@@mr.j3371 This is such nice comment, guys with this sort of woman should count themselves very lucky indeed, so scarce nowadays.
A wise man once said, “I don’t pay them for sex, I pay them to leave”.
i heard that in a movie or a tv show remind me ?
@@talkfootballnews two & a half men . Charlie sheen
@@talkfootballnews... Also from the movie '4 brothers'
"... the chipper woman tend to be the one you paying for...."
@@talkfootballnews Chef from south park also said that.
The fire of self discipline burns away impurities
Gay
@@ViveLeQuebecLibreTabarnak 🤣🤣
@Capt Fathom lessons learned brother..best wishes man, always better
The furnace for silver and the crucible for gold, but man is judged by his praise.- proverbs
I like your saying brother
I actually tell woman in professional or personal relationships "I don't have time or patience to argue with you" and walk away. I soft ghost them until they beg me to come back. If she's uninterested the soft ghost becomes a hard ghost.
Excellent. _"I don't have the time or the inclination..."_ is good, too.
@@ginblitz753 - missing the point, cupcake. Estrogen is clearly crippling your knee-jerk reflex.
@@ginblitz753 lol. Nope.
Correct, no sense in arguing with them. All they seek are validation.
"I don't have time to have this conversation the way you need me to" then walk away
He’s basically saying: when they’re acting like children treat them like children. It’s amazing to me that our society enables Women to act like kids without repercussions. Without men, society would crumble
Western culture is ah narsisscist and lacks truth and honesty makes up Lies
Absolutely true...
A perfect example in today's society of women acting like children is when they dress in a way that shows off her best features (be it at the gym, restaurant, bar, etc) and she says "don't look at me" or that they hate being looked at. They can wear whatever they want, I don't care but women expecting everyone else to go out of their way to not look at them when they don't feel like it, bullshit. Also, saying something like "don't look at me" is something I would expect from a child, not a grown woman.
@@olechristianhenne6583 yup facts 💯
It is crumbling and that's one of the main reasons why.
I still do this with my wife today. She knows I love and care about her, but I won’t put up with any drama, period. If still acts out I am out. It has only happened a few times when I had to “peace out” on her. It keeps her in check and we have a very happy life together. Keep yourself first always guys. You only put up with what you are willing to put up with. I chose not to put up with drama at all.
I have done exactly like you for over 10 years...it won't change, wife always defaults to her drama ways. It makes being an alpha male really difficult and honestly, I am now calling it quits. As off yesterday, she is no longer allowed to speak to me unless I initiate the conversation. Basically, my circle is closed to her. We have kids and that's my only reason for staying at this time. She had her place as a woman but I won't allow her to compete for my position as Man of the House. I am easy to live with, I love to live and laugh...but I am very difficult to live with if you mess with my masculinity...I am Man, Warrior, Protector, Provider...get in your place woman or get out...I chose to get her out.
@@albertoencinas3352 💯👍👍
@Alberto Encinas If a childish drama is considered a threat to your “masculinity”, then this shows how fragile your ego is.
At the very least female drama is uncomfortable and annoying and indeed it’s worth kicking the woman out of your life if she persists on doin the same BS, but masculinity is a whole different thing, it’s literally your core trait as a Male🤣and you are scaling it compared to a mere random female drama?. Grow up.
@@ChrisPTY507 Have you been married for 10 or more years? My wife has OCPD, and is a narcissist 22 years I've had to live with this psycho. As soon as we split the house, I'm kicking her lazy ass to the curb! Do I need to grow up? This is a young person's mentality. You've no idea what it's like to live with this kind of woman.
Sometimes you need to command her to stop instead of arguing or walking away that easily
"Women don't let Logic and reason get in the way of their emotions"
😂😂😂😂😂
100% true tho 😒
They're emotional beings
Just like liberals
@Sean Comer 😂😂😂
Wait aren’t woman just the same as men? It’s just that they are a different gender- that doesn’t make them emotional or dramatic it just means their a different gender than you
@@CeeXD-l4v I.... I dont think you understand biolo-
Nevermind. 😂😅 just nevermind sweetheart. Have a beautiful day love.
😂😂😂
“Women don’t let logic or reason get in the way of their emotions” - guys, don’t sleep on this. Rich said it fast but this needs to be deeply embedded in your psyche if you’re going to deal with women (and you are).
Good call. Your emphasis re this point is very well taken, brother.
Yes. And men try and make sense of it. I’ve been guilty of that. I’m divorced.
That statement is not to be taken lightly. No matter how logical and factual a situation is, if you’re trying to convince pr prove your point to a woman is like your talking to a wall.
@@caveatlector2671........Exactly....they fight like a spoiled brat who's throwing a tantrum. Favorite tactic is too push everyone's boundaries and buttons by either tormenting or bulling you into a response. It's hard to walk away when there's joint children and property involved.
@@tommygun5038
May be narcissistic
Any woman who says “I hate drama” is a compulsive liar!
People who say they hate drama generally bring drama like the four horsemen.
So true! Think about it logically; ask her if she likes being right... she’ll say yes. She hates drama because she’s always wrong! Hahaha she’s always wrong because she’s fighting about pointless shit!
Most i have dated and kept it simple are compulsive liars 🤣 sometimes they mess up with there idiot lies
Typically whenever a woman goes out of her way to tell you she hates anything shes lying. "i hate cheaters" means she is one, "I hate drama" means she creates it and then blames it on someone else, "I hate men" means she loves them
@@gordocojones that's a lie
This channel is so underrated
Great guy don't why he hid his subscribers
She wants drama, you take yourself out of the picture. You'll give her the gift of missing you when you don't put up with childish games.
Yeah i did that i block her on Facebook
@Robert Smith Never go back...
Drama has nothing to do with being "childish" though. It's a primal need for all women, regardless of age. They literally need it. It's a feminine thing.
It's why they love soap operas, gossip, shopping etc.
So rather than seeing it as a negative, you could instead embrace it and even look to create it yourself.
That way it's on your terms, you can have fun with it and then stop it when you want to and you're giving her the thing she needs.
Then you're happy, she's happy and satisfied and you can have s good relationship.
Trying to fight a woman's need for drama is like trying to hold back the tide.
@@shawnmorrissey1866 I wouldnt go back for dating or a ltr but I can't think of nothing better than getting an ex who dumped you to come back as a fuckbuddy. Its like getting the milk but not having to drag the cow around.
@Robert Smith lol who gives a crap about who won. Its not about stroking your ego. Blocking lets you remove your focus from that person completely
"She has to have strong genuine burning desire for you..."
RIP 98% of the viewers....feel free to throw me into that mix. lol
Yep. Viewed objectively I'd say the times a woman had genuine burning desire for me were reduced to a couple of days in my life. If you're not a obnoxious caveman and/or abusive asshole, forget about a woman having strong desire for you.
Fucking right
@@stoneeh you really don't have to be either of those for women to want you badly, don't fall into the "boohoo poor me, I'm just a nice guy" trap
@@RootyReddy I am just speaking from experience; of that of myself and others around me. I am sure you don't, or you have an inaccurate perception of what a "nice guy" is.
Why? If a woman don't actually desires you, then you're just making a fool of yourself staying with her, is just the truth, some might get offended, but it's still the truth.
Another great message in this video. My two cents through the lens of a seasoned divorce lawyer: if you have ongoing drama or “manufactured indignation” by the other person in your relationship, DO NOT MARRY. DO NOT COHABITATE. Instead of being treated poorly, go buy yourself a fast German import (or whatever brings you joy) or do what you love to do. Life is too short to be someone’s beta servant.
BTW: The October 28, 2020 video upload on this channel titled “Before you chase women WATCH THIS. Chase Excellence, Not Women”, is a another unscripted home run message filmed in a car video for anyone who needs a refresher.
Great advice sir
💯... started to notice my girl was creating unnecessary drama and tribulations... a constant need for a roller coaster of emotions as if being in a natural content state where things are fine is bad.
@@filipeguimaraes3596 How's it going now my friend? Just had to end mine over this exact same issue
Best piece of advice I ever got. "If it floats, flyes, or fucks, RENT IT"!!
Pretty true
So true. It's cheaper, and you don't have maintenance to perform. I've never met an escort who expected me to vaccum her floor after I'm done.
I used to do this, she would absolutely HOUND me to engage the drama. I'd watch hockey, one point I remember she ripped my poster down. All I did was get up, order the poster on eBay. Then went to a hotel.
Suddenly she changed her tune to please come home, I'm sorry etc
When you remember that they think like children...........
@@johnvanegmond1812 You don't notice it until you have a kid. Then, you're like... great I have 2 children
@@Zanatos9my dad told me there all the same age is just a number
If a "Tomi" starts drama remember that life is short. Dont waste time guys
I love how Tomi is the name of a now a 20's or 30's version of of Karen (Karen's are middle aged)
TheCoffeeNut711 and blatant racism and classism
As soon as I see a woman say anything that closely resembles Tomi, I'm out of there in a heartbeat. Only thing good about Tomi is that she can be used as a barometer to measure what type of woman all men must avoid
Fuck im a dude and my name is Tomi haha
@@Tomietomy sorry bro lol
If you want companionship.....
Get a dog!
Or a doll. For some guys, the lack of interaction of a doll is a GOOD thing.
Cat
@@Eysc I can confirm. A well trained cat is the perfect balance between unconditional devotion (dog) and drama (woman). :)
Dude come on, don't bring unnecessary comments here in an attempt to make fun. We are here for serious reasons
Two cats...can't be bored on your week and trips
The tool that never was in my toolbox regarding the many narcissists I've had to (allowed myself to) deal with, but after my most recent encounter, best believe the soft next will never again be second guessed.
i feel you pain dude no cap
Yep, what I realized when I started doing "soft nexting" was that she was getting really mad that I was becoming "distant" instead of changing her behavior, and then she broke up with me. Then after 2 weeks of not talking , she asked if I wanted to talk, when I made it clear that not only do I not want to talk, but I have NO desire for any kind of relationship, especially friendship, she got mad that I "got what I needed from these past 2 weeks." It all hurts, I was certainly very in love with the WRONG woman, and it's done some damage, but I also know how to properly heal, so coming to this channel is a big help, the biggest struggle that I'm certainly dealing with is not making women the focus of my life despite me having done so for so long in my life.
How you feeling brother
Comply or goodbye. Thats gold right there.
That is the best thing I took from this video.. CoG...priceless
sounds good to me no cap
When I was dating, a girl tried to start some drama and started to cry. I told her calmly that I didn't want drama in my life and told her to leave.
I just keep things simple and don't want complications in my life.
Soft next with a single mom easily becomes deleted and silence. I'm busy with my life, she screwed up her life. Later.
I'm so tired of so many single moms playing the victim role. Total bullshit. Don't date single moms guys. They will fuck you over and fuck your life up. There is a good reason why they are single moms.
why would you date with single mom in the first place? Go found 'your' girl 😂
I believe I gave a subconcious soft next to a single mom I was with for about 4 months (walked away from her in anger one night because there was stuff going on that I didn't feel should be going on, as well as her showing up at a bar one night that I was at without her communicating to me the whole day). She texted the next day for the "focus on ourselves" reason soft let down break up. I kind of had the oneitis thing going on because she love bombed me about 2 months in. After the break I analyzed the relationship cause I thought there was something I did wrong and came across Rich's work and took the red pill. I noticed a lot of red flags that were mentioned- unnatural hair color (reddish purple, tattoos all over including upper chest (she loved flaunting it), nose ring, 2 kids-2dads, 3 failed marriages, 2 failed relationships before me, always wanted to go to the bar. I was a little torn before taking the red pill but, I may have just dodged a bullet.
@@erock4221 "may"? Lol. Sounds like a nightmare of a woman!
You date a single mom because eventually their daughter turns 18 and you can trade up.
When you listen to them for 15 minutes and then you start talking in response she interrupts after 30 seconds. Dont waste time and just let her talk alone
I noticed that so much too man, it's like you hear them out and try to treat 'em equal and logically resolve the issue but they hardly listen... it's pretty pointless after that point
Dayum you listen for 15min. I cant do 20sec I'm out.
@Jeffrey Bezoserry Same. And I tell my mother she’s the only one I listen to for that long so she feels a bit more “honored.”
@@jameshunt67 get your life in order and stop being a mommy boy.
@@stoneeh LOL... You’re funny, guy.
If it gets to the point to where a soft-next is necessary (outside of marriage), and she doesn't go for it, then the best thing the man can do is keep moving - don't whine or cry about it. This is a woman who has a greater interest in another man/men, or at least believes she has that option; kick her on down the line.
exactly, anything less is a desperation / beta mindset.
I tried a similar method and it worked well. I didn’t answer her phone calls all day, but I texted her telling her that I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I created drama based on a real event that didn’t really bother me. She was so worried and in such need to know what was going on, that when I finally told her, it was like giving food to a staving person. I still do that once in a while and let me tell you: She is now very connected with me. In other words, I have the food that she needs to survive. I am a sensible man to her now and the connection is much stronger. I love it.
This works for me in marriage. I simply turn "off" when presented with drama... it's nearly automatic... as is her eventual reaction when she realizes she is alone. I have plenty of other things to do in pursuit of excellence in career, etc. Result: Happiness with or without her in the moment.
If you're living together go to a hotel for a night or two to get some head space. If she wants you back and apologies DO NOT go back until at least the next day. This worked for me several times although I have to say it's only a short term solution, the long term solution was to leave her because the drama and arguments kept returning and there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, also there might be some things on your side to fix.
Rich, I did this exact tool the other day I just didn’t know the exact name of it. But my girl had started drama with me after I saw a female friend from high school and said hello and hugged her. She threw a fit and stopped talking to her for how ever long possible. Not even a full 24 hours later she texted me saying she wanted to talk to about that incident and apologized for it. I told her straight up that if she pulled something like that ever again I was done. She’s been qualifying herself to me all week and it feels great.
Currently 3 months into my soft next... don't make quick judgements, it's complicated but I'm stoic and zen and a devoted Father those are my priorities.
Admireable 👍🏻
Well done sir!
That’s a no contact
I always do this they start drama about how you’re not giving her time or attention anymore
@@caveatlector2671 - And Sir how true that is and especially more so in reference to the narcissist queen bee who will make sins payable in full at any cost.
Then I just give her even less of it
Drama? Ill tell her straight up to get back to me when she is done. I dont deal with grown children.
many people i have met ... male and female.... seem to be grown Children......
They are not "grown" children. They are "old" children. Grow means something positive, which they didn't do ;)
@@Sahrokh you are probably correct.... jordan peterson would use the term old infant....there is nothing uglier than an an old infant....
A womans need for drama has nothing to do with her age. It's a biological need they have whether they're young or old.
The problem guys like you have is that you take it personally.
@@murphsviews why should her need for drama be any man's problem
3:56 I love it,
" It is comply or good bye!"
Hold your frame and carry your balls always with women! Thank you Rich!!
I usually kick them out or drive them home and never call them back. Once they are out of the car the drama stops.
lol no cap
Wamans at best
I have done this many times and it doesn’t work (well with the woman I have dated), they just get more mad and just want to punish you more for not being available. I am just sick of playing games with so many GF over so many years, I now just choose not to have a GF and it is far less stressful.
I know a chap who occasionally introduced his wife this way "I'd like to introduce you to my 2nd wife S----."
I asked him why... he said "Just want to let her know that there are plenty of numbers after 2."
When i was a kid and would go out with my dad, people would ask "is that your son?" And my dad answer was always "his mom says he is" took me a few years but i got, i call it the serious joke.
Mildly funny, but massively disrespectful (btw great move if you're after more drama). I'm guessing he's onto his 3rd (or more) by now.
@@markfrancis2370 Actually it's entirely accurate and wasn't meant to be funny. Bad idea to get the oneitis bug anyway.
@@paulofurtado4925 Sucks to do that to a kid.
@@joolspools777 theres nothing wrong, i didnt feel rejected, was my dad telling a serious joke, man just believe that the kids are theirs because the woman says so, or we assume, many arent.
This is golden advice guys. It's called a correction, not much different than training a puppy. They screw up, you correct them. Not harshly, but firmly, with intent. This goes for girlfriends, wives, kids, puppies, dogs, you name it. You will never change what you are willing to accept. Never forget that.
It’s not my job to train a grown woman, I’ll go find one that’s already gotten herself together
Spot on advice Rich. I got red-pilled after I separated from my wife (subconsciously) I had no idea that advice like this existed back in 2013. I think the soft nix is a great shit test to determine if you are her first choice. If drama keeps getting re-inserted, walk away.
I definitely want to hear more tools, especially after going through a marriage for almost 5 years, and I would put my foot down to address it, and explain to her, and she would apologize, but never fix it. I want to prepare for the future and right my wrongs in any way.
Very first thing to do - DON'T GET MARRIED AGAIN. Have girlfriends and once she starts giving the ultimatum for marriage, dump her. Marriage is not a benefit for a man.
Keep watching this Channel and Better Bachelor...and you'll be off to a really good start!
I guess this video leads into the “women shaming tactics” one. They will gossip about you and lie if you reject them. Their tactics nowadays with social media and their Karen circles is especially interesting. They live through social media now. I removed myself from it
Indirectly rejecting them
Also, men will straight up verbally insult a woman who rejects them, that's why women be afraid of telling them straight up
Better to just get your gifts back on the spot
That is exactly what i do, when my gf decides to start a drama (most of the time silly) never knew it was called a soft next,
Usually works within the day
Yes most definitely want to hear more. It goes in line with being your best self. Moves like this show her that you value yourself and therefore must be someone of value and a good woman will respond to it positively and a bad women (red flag) will not respond well to it. It leads to an abundance mindset too. If she continues to act out and then goes and gets herself another guy to cheat on you with then kick her to the curb and go pick another girl. I think its important that you have your own place and make sure it stays solely in your name even if you do get together. Make sure you have proof of ownership and receipts for important things in case things go south and the police are called and want proof. Never underestimate the power of CCTV and receipts.
Its harder when they reveal their emotional drama face after entering a long term relationship. The soft next does work. Have to make sure she does not creep back... I go into my workshop and if it gets bad I go fishing.
This was helpful! I’m in a relationship with a lady that brings some drama almost predictably every couple of months. There are tells she gives off so I know it’s coming. Fortunately for me I’ve been using the soft next with her not knowing I was using it. I’ll withdraw from her for a few days, sometimes nearly a week. During this time she usually reaches out with a text that’s still a touch dramatic, which I usually ignore or maybe respond that I’m not going to sit here and take this drama from her. Near the end of the soft next, she is much more calm and ready to actually talk and consider a position other than her own. We’ve done this dance for about two years now and actually are in day one of another episode. Thank you for your insight and confirming that I’m not in this without some effective tools to make the relationship work. I’m open to some reading material as well.
if you have to pull tactics like that, why bother even having someone like that in your life.
@T - Rex Why resume contact? Cut her off, and give the next contestant a chance......
She’s good in the bed. Ha.
I think he saying if something like this were to happen. Know what to do in that situation. Dont read to much into it bro.
Because the woman can be a pain in the as but has other really good qualities as a partner and person, and these are the harder to leave off.
You can try to educate them like this and showing them to not being so stressful
Most of the times when females would chase me and act desperate was when I ignored them or was in the process of leaving the room. I don’t think it’s ever worked when I did the chasing
Never works when you chase plus u dont want them anyway when they chase
Comply or goodbye. Love it.
Awesome 👏🏾
I sent this to my married friend
Great advice. I tend to limit my availability to 2 days a week in relationships any how. It keeps things fresh and limits the time for these outbursts.
As a counselor, you said it well. You also were right on the strength of the connection is the only way it will work. Some might not like this, but its the truth. Thanks for that!
I was doing this back in the 80s. My emotional health is far more important than her manufactured drama.
Watching this video during summers from a city that never gets snow, the scenery looks magical.
Probably worked well in the 80’s.
Now, they have that phone- as if it were a body appendage.
They use your "alone" time to check OkCupid and Craigslist. Men are responding fast.
I suspect the technique can't account for quality. They all bring drama, but you need to have, at least, some manageable raw material.
Before she had a few dudes to get attention from if you flaked her? Now that she has a smart phone, she has 5X more dudes as a 2nd option. Just play with them until you get bored of them; she's not yours, it's just your turn.
No. A drama causing person challenges your authority. So establish authority.
how
I agree with that. Establish authority, if she doesn’t follow ignore until she bends the knee and if she doesn’t nothing well will ever come from such relationship.
@Koschei The Deathless the video literally says the same thing
@@alangreene5776 by saying "no". Its a full sentence
I am not totally buying this "soft next" logic......BUT I will tell you a major break through I ran into with my second wife when I was married to her!! You see my second wife...like my first wife, constantly accused me of things SHE CLAIMED I was "guilty of" and according to her (telling ALL OUR FRIENDS and families) she would blame me for things I never did!! And up to this point I had been married to her for about 11 years when I realized a lot of "FACTS" about my wife's "stories" that she would regularly "alter" to make me look like a complete monster and she always painted herself as "the victim"!!
So you can understand the backstory of what I was up against!!!!
The spring time before our 12th anniversary however I began to realize TWO THINGS IMPORTANT to this story! First she was blaming me for things SHE was actually guilty of......and secondly she was never around in most to the cases to know WHAT THE F**K was going on at our home to start with!! And while she constantly accused me of many things........it wasn't like we were actually "spending a lot of time together" for me to actually be guilty of all the HORRIBLE THINGS she was accusing me off....which came to a head at a friend of mine's wedding (another long story in itself)!!
In this I determined that the only "solution" to my problem was "just never be around EVER"! And to further this logic, "she couldn't blame me if I was never around to be blamed for anything!"!!!!! It all seemed simple enough!
So that spring when "car show season" started I was constantly gone to car shows. OR I would go to seminars on home building, I was even taking free courses at Home Depot and Lowes!! And I would find ANY EXCUSE to keep me away from the house, and away from her!! I even took in a couple of "Start your own business" conferences in the nearby city on random occasions as well!! And when I did earn a "little extra money" like her I spent MY MONEY on myself buying car parts, tools or whatever I wanted to buy and literally just stock piling things I wanted and needed!!! And no matter how much she protested about ANY OF IT, I would just simply tell her "It beats being around you!"!!!! Adding a flair of passive aggressive tension to the mix, which she had done to me for YEARS anyhow!!
In truth I was doing EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID TO ME BACK TO HER!! I did what I wanted WHEN I wanted, and didn't care what she said or thought or screamed at me about!! I just did the things I liked to do! And I was NEVER home to be "blamed" for the things she would try to blame me for!! In the end we got divorced almost 3 years later!! BUT people around us, started asking me if her stories about me were true, simply because for years everybody had bought into her lies about me......and now when I would run into them and they'd ask me "Where is your wife?" and I would reply with "Who knows, who cares?!" they'd look at me just stunned that I had seemed to just "given up" on her!!! She still tried to blame me for things BUT I made myself very "high profile" to the people she was telling crap too!! So people were running into me literally EVERY WHERE!! And the began questioning her "tall tales" about me from her!! Basically I made her finally look like the idiot she was...and proved to everybody that "just because she said things about me didn't actually make them "true"!"!!!! And I think that her losing control over the lies she spread about me hurt her the most.....which was the final nail in the coffin of our relationship!! I basically took her control away from her!!
Every man can only take so much drama until he's fed up, and pulls the plug to enjoy a peaceful & quiet life.
Thank you for sharing
12th!!
sounds to me like you did a terrible job running your relationship. you let your wife act like a cunt for over a decade when you could have checked that behavior or left if she refused to change. instead you stayed in a toxic relationship and acted passive aggressive and distant. poor strat. accept your L.
K i think you are my favourite mentor in this current climate. I Subscribed bud.
Attention and validation is a currency for the girl world.....this line made me sub to this channel. Also, dude knows his s**t!!!!
"Comply or goodbye." Good stuff!
Mine use to accuse me of cheating every time she got her period. Once I figured it out and brought it to her attention the behavior got self corrected. One of the few times she ever self corrected. The egg factories are now closed so it’s no longer an issue.
Ya know what feels good? Moving so they dont know where you at
where you are *
@@riproar11 thank you. It makes me tired
sounds like playing games and hoping an emotionally immature person will just magically read your mind and make major changes over night bc you didnt text them back. It is contributing to and role modelling an unhealthy dynamic - she too may start to disappear for days on end with radio silence after you do something she doesn't like. It's a power struggle of who can out manipulate the other. Just walk ..
Lol Rich I feel like your are living in my shoes man. I am going through this right now with my gf. She is unable to go 7 days without started some drama. It comes out of nowhere. I talking to her, the dust settles and then comes back. I thought it was me lol. Thank you for this knowledge, much appreciated.
Richie Rich! happy turkey day from the Bronx New York!
My wife and I are currently seeing a marriage counselor🤬 I discovered this channel with the divorce video (should be in the upper millions) very helpful. I’m comparing what I’m learning from your videos versus the PHD therapist and I must say you and him have different perspectives but the quality of content you give is well matched yet I’ve only accessed your free material.
Solid advice here. Engaging with the drama only encourages it. Only productive way to deal with it is to ignore her. It's the only language women understand.
Also, if you get a low-drama woman, hold onto her. They are rare, but they are out there.
As long as shes not starfish and an excessive introvert. Some are boring AF
25 years with the same lady and been doing the soft next for the whole time! Make a great living , I’m confident and don’t take shit!! Thanks for all the great videos!!!
25 years!! erm...
I've done this to my late wife. She would be demanding an apology for some perceived misdeed (i.e.: she wanted me to bend a knee to her demands) and I would give her the silent treatment for however long it took for her to apologize to me. I never gave in to her since I knew I had not done anything for which to apologize. Generally two-three days later she would apologize and I never brought up what I perceived as her wrong doing. Maybe that was a mistake but maybe not. I do know that she insisted on creating drama every few days and never learned to modify her behavior: she kept doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. She did this right up to the day she died.
Thanks for sharing, that was my biggest concern w/ my ex, it wouldn't ever stop and your experience confirms it.
I'm not a big Jordan Peterson fan, but that one thing that he does with children ("I'll talk to you when you're ready to be an adult again") is just like this.
I live with my GF, for the most part everything is peachy. When she starts up the drama machine, I stay late at the gym. Wish I could just play some CoD and ignore her a little, but I shouldn't be playing too many video games anyways haha
@Tyler Rae
For me, its like beer. A beer is ok after a long day at the office. Drinking a 6 pack every night is an issue. And honestly you should probably spend your time drinking beer in the gym 😂
@Tyler Rae Good job man, that's pretty decent! You're in that last stretch, you'll be there in no time
Video games are more of a neutral thing. I just recommend not putting too much time into them. Especially games that require you to grind a lot like monster hunter, WoW, destiny and so on (only after you’ve already played a lot of them). It shows you how people can really work together, work incredibly hard, endure all kinds of crap, and think creatively to succeed. However, when you’re doing it in the games you’re a lot less likely to do it in real life. It’s a good experience that can be applied to show you human potential and your own potential though.
When you're in a relationship that keeps you from going home and finding the support and peace you deserve, you don't have a home at all. You need to end that relationship and regain your home.
Also, remember. Her drama requires an audience. Ignore her, and it. The drama will stop. Immediately.
I enjoy my alone time very much so with my cat
Thank you for this video! Definitely, my Lady has a clock in her head that goes off when things are going smoothly for a bit!
Women don't let logic and reason get in the way of emotions
Golden words worthy to b engraved in the mountains so that the future can learn from it
I love how you described a woman like Kyle Reese describe the Terminator
Drama kills, avoid
I've ALWAYS done this, I'm glad someone gave it a name and contextualised it.
Never marry an illusion just to divorce a reality 🇺🇸🦅🗽🔫💪👍
It feels like the drama always comes at the worst possible time. When you're on your best, everything is fine. But when she sees a clink in your armor, she'll constantly try to test you. Women are exhausting.
She is sensing weakness in you and is testing you. And it will happen again and again until she breaks you, or you break up with her. You need to be on your grind, doing the best you can, and you do not need someone undermining you at every point where there may be a weakness. The exhaustion is her breaking you down to a beta, and a sniveling one at that, unfortunately. Then she will lose the last of her respect for you, and the relationship is either doomed because she no longer cares about you, or she finds someone else and shafts you that way.
Just work on the basis that she is out to quietly destroy you, because that's the only MO she knows. You can either train her differently, or get rid of her. Both will be hard.
@@nwjh1957 true no cap
It absolutely works....and it actually made me think about how I need to communicate. Respectfully. My husband of 22 years had to implement this strategy. I'm learning quite a bit about myself. Love the man too much not to be able to look inward.
Another thing to consider is, if theyre BPD or cluster B somewhere, this will be par for the course, and you are NEVER her best option (in her mind) until you are... again.
You’re dating in Cluster B? Wow, dude....that’s metal....
Any BPD chick has a mercurial mind. You can be her best option at any moment for any random amount of time. Then at any moment she decides to friendzone, ignore you, etc. There are random times where she thinks she do better. And other times she thinks she is worthless. She'll have indiscriminate sex with losers other times. Her sexual orientation can fluctuate too. BPD's are utterly insane. Her mercurial fluidity is the giveaway. Once you've detected that ghost her and run to the hills!
@@slfriend Nope, lived with one un-diagnosed, she moved out of my place after 4 years and got married 2 weeks later.
@@JasonTzzz Terrifyingly accurate mate.
@@Shamilt3 was she monkey branching behind your back the whole time? Getting married 2 weeks after an LTR breakup is textbook mercurial behavior. I'm sure that marriage didn't last.
I dated a BPD basket case on/ off for a year when I was naive and inexperienced. She would throw tantrums and threw something similar to the soft next on me numerous times.
Soft next was something i hadn't heard of, thanks Rich. More tools would be appreciated.
Damn man. I’ve been watching your videos for the past hour and I’m coming to the realization that I’m screwed in my relationship. I have a lot of things to work on to better myself and my relationship.
You already knew
Better Late...then NEVER!
What a beautiful scenic drive!
Always let them know at the beginning, that you like to avoid unnecessary stress. That way they know why you're avoiding them, down the road.
Superb video. Please do make more videos on some of the other methods that can be used
This has traditionally been called "the Silent Treatment"
Richard you are a godsend. Im 46 same age as you. You have forced me to face the reality you are telling us. God bless
Been doing this for years, never knew it had a name.
Absolutely brilliant advice you are 100% correct.
"The soft next," making yourself physically unavailable to a love interest, is similar to "gray rocking." This is a technique to ameliorate narcissistic abuse by becoming as inconspicuous as a gray rock on the ground- you don't initiate conversation, give one-word answers, etc. I suppose my question is, if you're having to play games like this to deal with a woman who wants to make you unhappy, why stay in that relationship?
Exactly, sounds like playing games and hoping an emotionally immature person will just magically read your mind and make major changes over night bc you didnt text them back. It is contributing to and role modelling an unhealthy dynamic - she too may start to disappear for days on end with radio silence after you do something she doesn't like. It's a power struggle of who can out manipulate the other. Just walk ..
Everyone needs a kick in the butt at times. This is simply a kick in the butt for her.
Conply or goodbye......awesome!
Truthfully, if her interest level is 9 or 10... she’s not pulling too much drama with you unless you did something to hurt her feelings. If her interest level is lower, you could only improve things about yourself to draw her interest. In an LTR, there will be an ebb and flow. You can ride it out or get out.
Comply or goodbye
That is gold
If a “Tomi” starts drama remember that life is LONG. Don’t waste time men.
Drama isn't such a big deal. Have fun with it.
If she brings it, amplify it, use it against her.
Like the martial arts where you use your opponents force against them.
Then she'll think twice about bringing it in future, but at least if she does, you'll have fun with it and probably get some great makeup sex out of it.
Stop seeing drama as a negative and it will cease to be a negative.
@@murphsviews 🤔