Can You Be Addicted to Shopping?? | Kati Morton
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- Опубліковано 26 лип 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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My dad told me that one of his coworkers had a shopping problem and what she did was literally put her credit card(s) in a bowl of water and freeze that bowl so that when she got that urge to buy things she had to wait for the ice to melt so she could use her card!
My shopping addiction got a lot worse when I had access to a large sum of money. I received an inheritance and went wild with it. Over the course of just a few months I spent thousands of dollars on clothes and home decor I ended up giving away. You can imagine the regret I feel now. I mostly buy used clothes off of sites like vinted and poshmark which lessens the guilt. I do shop a lot less than I used to and never allow myself to do it when I get the compulsive feeling
I like the 30 minute rule. It's much more realistic. I feel like people always say wait a couple days, and then that gives people anxiety about "missing the sale" so they can justify the impulse more than they can justify the rule. Great video!
I never thought of myself as a shopping addict, but a lot of this is too familiar. Part of it was out of boredom, a friend and I would go to lunch and walk around the shops. I would ALWAYS come home with something and yes, online shopping is 10 times worse, since it's so quick and easy!
What helped me was staying away from the stores, we now meet at the bike path and walk.
For online shopping, I'd leave things in the cart and check back later. Many times, I'd end up deleting most of the items. Also, all the shipping boxes drove me crazy.
Another eye opener is putting all my credit cards in a spreadsheet and track the finance charges. Who wants to have most of your payment go to finance charges? I still remember looking at an end of the year statement and seeing how much went towards finance charges! I keep one card for necessities and utilities and pay it off in full each month!
I still have issues with online shopping, but have slowed down a lot...
Now to break my solitaire playing on my phone addiction!
Thank you so much for sharing what has helped you!!! xoxo
You deserve about 2.6M more subscribers.
Awe xoxo
I’ve been struggling with ordering stuff online to deal with being stuck at home with my parents at 24 years old because of severe health problems including a sleep disorder and mental illness. I just found a therapist who says she can help me with my sleep disorder and it was honestly like a bubble burst and I could see my way out of my situation and I could see a path forward in my future. I had nothing to look forward to because I felt like I was never going to get better and I had nothing to do and nobody to talk to a lot of the time because I could barely hold a job and my friends aren’t here. It’s still hard but honestly it’s so much easier now that I have direction in my life and hope for the future. I didn’t feel like anything mattered and I couldn’t even care about debt because all I could handle was emotionally surviving the current moment. I had no faith in anybody to help me because I had been so thoroughly failed by my doctors, my therapists, my school, and I still don’t trust anyone to look out for me and have my back, because every medical advance I have had I have had to extract from doctors and none of them have ever thought about the bigger picture for me or took any kind of initiative. They all just wanted me out of their office for the next client ASAP. I have some hope now and it’s really life changing, I have a job that I love, and a plan to move forward and pay off my credit card, but temptation is still hard. I put all of my emails from shopping sites in a folder outside of my main folder, so I have to go look for them to get any information, not constant notifications. I deleted most of my shopping apps and turned off notifications. I make myself look at what I already have before I buy more things (I like makeup and skin care especially) and I’m focusing on using up what I have. And I’m trying to fill my time with productive activities that give me that sense of fulfillment and purpose that buying something and getting excited for it to arrive once gave me.
OMG. I SO NEEDED THIS!
I am glad you found the video helpful :) xoxo
I am currently in therapy for all kind of fun things, but most recently shopping addiction. I feel like the thing that has helped me the most is that I unsubscribed from alllllll stores and brands so that I never know when they're having a sale.
I live currently in Europe and here people don't have access to credit cards that often like U.S. Barely few people have it. They have debit cards, so that means you can spend only what you have on the account. Pre-paid credit cards are very popular. You have to re-charege every time with some amount but it doesn't allow by any meanings credit from saldo.
That is so much better!! The credit card spending issue in the states is out of control!!!
I use minimalism to keep it under control I still slip up but I paid off my debt by following guidelines that worked for me
-The one in one out rule
you can't bring something into your home unless it's replacing something you already have it makes you stop and think about everything you already own and how you don't need this new thing
and to avoid the vicious cycle of replacing focus harder on why you feel the need to replace and think what's the point in buying if you're just going to replace it later
-Run every purchase by someone else (if you don't want to then make them up in your head)
someone who doesn't have the same habits or tastes as you use them as your inner voice this will even make you stop and think because you need to wait for their opinion before you can buy (don't pick someone judgmental who will make you feel more guilt and shame)
-Enjoy removing the negative
I was buying things that I thought would improve me or my surroundings but when it didn't that caused more stress and that made me shop more one day it clicked that I hadn't tried removing myself from my toxic environment I cut ties with horrid friends and family and I donated and sold the impulse purchases that made me feel guilt shame and stress from all the money I had spent after that I was left alone in an empty room but it was more progress than keeping whatever stressed me out (I only felt alone and empty when I was spending money on things and spending time with bad people)
- Learn what impact the items have on the world (basically feel like a do gooder without doing anything)
Fast fashion is the big one we now treat clothes as cheap and disposable thrift stores are over flowing to the point of throwing out perfectly wearable clothes because they can't sell them all
the chemicals from the dye are toxic and the workers that make $2 a day die in hazardous conditions it's all heartbreaking to learn but once you're aware it makes it harder to feel any excitement about the new good looking thing in the store or how it's a bargain when you know it's costing the environment and the lives of others (not helpful for the addiction if you want to start voting with your wallet or be frugal and hoard everything you already own)
Thank you so much for sharing what helped you!! xoxo
Thanks for covering this! I think a lot of people laugh off shopping addiction as something funny or "quirky" or similar, when it can really be serious and damaging to someone's life.
EDIT: For researching debt relief companies, if you're in the US/Canada/Mexico you should use the Better Business Bureau www.bbb.org They evaluate and accredit companies; people can also submit official complaints.
Thank you so much for sharing!! And I agree...many people don't take it seriously.. when it needs to be. xoxo
You are completely right about how it can wreck or effect relationships. Shopping addiction is the main reason that my parents divorced a while back.
I felt like you were speaking directly to me, I have recently admitted that I struggle with this.
To keep myself from going overboard, I always make sure that the website does not save my password, and I have a difficult to type password. Most sites will require a password and if I have to remember the password and type it, it allows time to process of "do I even really want this?". Stopped me from impulse buying before. Hope that helps some.
Thanks for covering this! I don't think I'm an "addict". Maybe that's a very addict thing to say. But when I was living alone several years ago I went to Disney Store a lot and Barnes and Noble because being in those places made me happy and calmed me down. I'd go to pay my phone bill and have a panic attack in the food court because EDNOS so I'd go to Disney Store to calm down. I hope that makes sense.
That totally makes sense!! While it does sound like you were shopping to cope.. if you don't find the other symptoms to be true, then I wouldn't think you are an addict either. xoxo
I love your videos. They help me so much. Thank you for making them.
Gr8 advice. Thx!!
Kati Morton you are so awesome. I had a shit weekend and watched at least 10 of your videos. Thank you for doing what you do!
thank you so much you inspire me with all your videos even though i dont need this i hope you know you inspire everyone who watches you dont listen to other negative people and keep doing what you do best
I love you so much, you've helped me a lot with your videos, so thank you! ❤️
You are so welcome :) xoxo Glad I could help!
Hey Kati!👋🏼
Sorry this is so long!
my DBT therapist sent me postcard last week just to tell me she's thinking of me. She does things like this quite often and I've bern okay with it because we get on SO well. But it's getting a bit intense now and I feel like I have to do well for her, and email her between sessions etc, its a lot of pressure. Alongside that I have PTSD so I'm starting to get paranoid about what her intentions are, which is nuts I know, but Im a bit scared in honesty, and I dont know what to do, if anything, without hurting her feelings. I hope you even see this just stuck, sorry!
Keep up the good work! Big love from the UK💕
Thanks for doing this video
Of course :) xoxo
#buypolar disorder.... it's a problem..... Shopping helps my anxiety, but money causes anxiety, it's a deadly cycle.
Today was payday, and I've been feeling depressed/suicidal. My next best thing was to go on eBay. Now I have no money left. 🙁
For me specifically, I’m not sure if this applies to others ,but Sometimes it’s just the extreme rush of putting the item in cart etc and the excitement of potentially having something new.so if you struggle with this like I do, I do my best, after spending usually hours in any given store, from CVS to Macy’s-to just leave the cart somewhere unoccupied in the store and walk out- That way you don’t have to deal with feeling the shame of putting the items back. Just wash your hands of the unneeded items and walk away. Or if it’s not that type of store make sure you keep the receipt and this sounds silly but when you get home have the first thing you do is be honest with a partner or loved one and tell them how much you spent and hand them the receipt and ask them to return the items I’m not at the point where I can do it myself For those with a Shopping addiction of course this obviously takes a lot of work and a supportive person around you but I have found that again once I am home or done with the initial finding of the item and either purchasing it and or putting it in my cart the endorphin rush drops in a shorter amount of time then I originally thought would be the case and I am able to part with the items before I really grow attached to them .Again, this took practice and honesty and it works for me. Not here to judge,or say do this ,it will work-just offering a suggestion in hopes that maybe it will help someone going through what I know i and many go through! ♥️♥️♥️
I wish this applied to online shopping too:( that is another story but one step at a time lol
0:09 I actually paused to read everyone & it's cool to start recognizing names from the YouNow live hangouts! Hey there Sheepishness! 👋 #Kinionfam ❤️
woot woot!! xoxo
hey Katie, could you maybe do a video on kleptomania and shoplifting addiction?
Notwithstanding online shopping (Amazon got me), when I go shopping and see something I really wasnt planning for, I always try to leave it. It I continue and still think about it, or come back to the item 3 times in separate shopping trips, then I get it. However I am pretty frugal, so this does serve me well. Love all your relevant content Kati, thank you!!
Thanks Kati for another very helpful and easy to understand video :-) you're the best
Great video and very good tips thnx.
You are welcome :) Glad it was helpful. xoxo
I've started telling myself "you don't need that" and then I validate that statement by repeating "I don't need that" it's a strange ritual I think, but it reminds me that making purchases is not going to make me happy or fulfill me in anyway. However my big weakness is friendly sales people. I try to avoid even stepping into those stores too often. That's actually where shopping online can help me when I need an item but don't need to be talked into buying more. Also you can step away from an online shopping cart it's harder to step away from a sales person sometimes
I spent £10000 since the new year, I'm bipolar and even if I'm on meds, I still fluctuate and I keep spending. I go out to town and I buy shit I don't need. It's manageable with meds but when I drink it gets bad. I've spend upwards to £300 on single nights out. I'm pretty shit at budgeting but when I drink it's just a nightmare. I suppose if I was going to say anything about this is, if you spend too much, don't drink because it gets worse. Buying rounds for everyone and ordering 5 Margaret Thatcher posters on ebay is something that you'll regret the next day.
Was online shopping when I got the notification for this, js. Lol but in all seriousness gotta show this to my mom. She's always been this way 😱😨
Perfect timing!! xoxoxo
Hey Kati! What are your thoughts on cell phone addiction?
After a sexual assault, I got a shopping addiction. I used shopping to calm down my mind around it. Now I've got control of it and have almost paid down all the debts. I write down everything I use, and make a budget every month.
abcnini Good job
I needed this lol. I loved the emoji at the beginning, are you feeling better tho?
I've dealt with shopping addiction before. It was particularly bad when it came to purchases that seemed "practical" like home goods (kitchen appliances, kitchenware, cleaning supplies, stationery, etc.) because they're easier to justify and feel good about. Instant gratification is superficial but feels very real, and it makes you feel like you're in control (low point in depression = alcohol or shopping for me). I've used the 30 second rule and kept this phrase in mind: "If it's nice to have, you don't need it."
Thank you so much for sharing! I love that phrase!! xoxo
Hi Kati! Could you do a video on cptsd? (Complex post traumatic stress disorder).
This was a huge problem for me in college. I used thousands in student loan money to shop online for stuff I didn't need. It's one of the many things I'm most embarrassed about in my life.
hmm possibly ad blocker or some way to turn off cookies, to limit ads for shopping?
How can it be that the timing couldn't be any better at least for me lol Thanks!
thanks kati. I used to suffer from this. now I buy stuff I think do I need it. still paying off credit cards. think the reason I had this because it made me happy because I suffer from depression
Soooo you uploaded this while I was out shopping.... I didn't watch it while I was shopping but it made me wonder if I have an addiction. But now that I've watched this.... I don't feel I do. I do occasionally go on shopping sprees but for the most part it is thing I need. I also don't have a credit card and even tho I'm in my twenties... I don't want one. I usually do wait to buy things as well
I mainly try to use cash for extra stuff I dont need, I go through phases where I want to do all the things! and start looking for all the things I need to do said things, I start getting restless and anxious beause I want them all like now. so normally I handwrite a list of stuff I want first to organize my thoughts, then I come back to it and if I still want it I treat it like a checklist of three I want most within budget, but most of the time I forget what I write and lose interest when I go back to it. plus cash only is a big help because I can see the money going instead of numbers dropping in my account. if I dont have enough cash then I dont need it that day. i keep all my cash budgets in designated envelopes. I started noticing I was getting too comfy using cards lately so I went back to cash system I feel better and saved up my money back
I definitely have a shopping problem i go time and time again in and out of debt because I can't stop shopping i buy so much clothes yet i don't even wear it sits in my closet with tags for years till i give it to goodwill when I get bored of seeing it but then mean I have few free hangers so i feel an urge to fill the empty space i lie to my husband about what I paid for an item always make it $5,$20 less than the actual cost
I totally had this problem, and relate so much. I thought I had bipolar because of this and other issues, but I have OCD and some BPD traits, and compulsive spending can come along with those, too.
It can totally come along with OCD and BPD traits.. I hope you found the video helpful. xoxo
Yes, I found the video very helpful, thank you. I was pleased to see this topic covered on your channel, as shopping addiction doesn't get the attention that it deserves. It shares many characteristics with gambling addiction, in that it isn't a physical addiction, like drug addiction or alcoholism, but has many of the same features. I would say that self-harm and eating disorders are almost another category, because they are psychological addictions, which then have physical effects. In essence though, these are all addictions, and many of us will struggle with more than one, at different times. I know that I have. Thank you for everything that you do on your channel. Your content is always excellent. :-) x
How would you recommend approaching someone you think may have this? I've been worried about a family member for a while. (Or if you don't want to give advice online can you recommend a resource?)
I have the opposite. I refuse to spend money even when I should, like to replace shoes with holes in the sole. And I obsess over managing my budget to the point where I tweak it every day and check my accounts multiple times a day. I'm going to say that my OCD...
a tip for those emails is send them right into your spam folder
i lucky dont have shopping addiction but sales at new york and company do get my attention and i have spent money i didnt have on clothes before (i knew when i was going to get paid but that money was supposed to be put towards something else) just making me need to work more
once i started to send them to my spam folder it wasnt a problem for me i didnt click on any NYC thing ever again and same with my swarvoski stuff
i am saving up for 3 penguins but if i dont get them i dont get them i know they are only available until oct 8
thx for this ha bisky vid and i did need to ask my mom to purchase 2 jewelry boxes for me so i can start organizing my jewelry but it was because she has prime and i will pay her back through paypal when my check comes in (there were only 3 of one of the boxes i wanted left)
I'm pretty good with saving money and I'm not in debt or anything, but I do focus intensely on "researching" and buying things at the best price, getting good deals etc (for things I think I need but they're not classed as essentials) then ordering them. But as soon as I've gotten the product I'm essentially bored and looking for something else to get. I'm struggling in general atm (feeling depressed, wanting to relapse into SI, etc) and think I really do need a therapist now but my doctor is on a break while she finds a new clinic to work from and I'm feeling lost.
My sis has this... she shops pretty much every day but her life is kinda a mess so it makes sense.
I have a family member who I feel has a shopping addiction and it's been showing a lot recently.
Recently my dad passed from cancer, so this family member copes by shopping more than they did to start with. This family member would buy things and then hide them from my dad. I want to help her but if you bring up that she's been shopping a lot and maybe needs to stop for a little, she gets very angry. She'll do the same if you bring up finances or anything of the sort. How do I go about helping her without her being mad at me?
hi Kati, I am going to start CBT. is it natural to feel overwhelmed. like I can't wait but don't know were to start. but can wait to get better, all these feelings, I love your video's they have helped so much, please reply if you can xx
I am getting addicted to thrift stores...but I look for items to sell and I don't buy junk for myself. but I am attempting to be more minimalist...which I have accomplished.
Is there very often a comorbidity with an eating disorder? Like binge eating, emotional eating, etc. I noticed this in a few women around.
There is a saying that an addiction always comes with another 2 along. Can you relate to this?
Can you do a video on You Get Me (2017 Film) on Netflix. I'm interested in what Holly Viola's diagnosis would be. Love your vids!
I know that after i had a bad breakup with a friend who had been abusive I spent a lot of money needlessly. then my grandad died and I couldn't handle it and actually bought shit online during the after service of the funeral. and I keep doing this while under stress but then I found that by calculating how much I'm actually going to earn and what I need to put it towards, that I can then afford to spend at least a little bit on things like skincare that gives me a routine to keep my life stable but does cost around 200 for an around 1 to 2 year supply, whereas for several things I either loved or never used I've probably spent around 600
My mom has this but I am too afraid to confront her about it. It's not wildly out of control, but she shops so often and is addicted to "couponing"... She has had past addictions with alcohol, so based on your video here it seems that maybe her shopping addiction has replaced her consumption of alcohol.
In my opinion the authorities should check more if the reviews on online stores are real because i've heard you can buy positive reviews and also bad reviews that could destroy or at least harm the competition
Hey Kati,
I have a question. I am currently in treatment for my eating disorder and all of my doctors, nutritionists, and therapists have avoided telling me my diagnosis, or brushed it off, because I am "underweight" but not EXTREMELY (like society wants you to believe you have to look to have anorexia). I guess my question for you is, can you be diagnosed with anorexia even if you are not extremely far below the "underweight" point? Thank you.
Hi Kati, So i was driving yesterday and I was very emotionally all over the place, as I commonly am, and I had an urge to cut. Although I wasn't necessarily wanting to cut to realize of the emotional pain it was to kind of remind myself I was alive, If that makes sense Or sometimes to distract my self from eating. My question is why do I cut for that reasoning? I watched your videos and searched for other answers but I can't find any. I'm also 16 and my family doesn't want to help me because it would ruin our image in the small town we live in. So how can I seek help to recover with out my family's help? Thank you! I love you and your videos so much and they've helped me through a lot!! So thank you for what you do.
Just paid off and closed my credit card.
A tip? - Probably a bit OTT but reading "Money" by Martin Amis would sure do the job... .
Hey kati, could you please make a video on sexual intrusive thoughts in the near future? I've just come to the realisation that I'm experiencing these quite badly and can't find much help :)
Hi Kati and everyone in the comments! I was wondering if you have any advice for being waitlisted. Health care is free in my country but the system includes loads of waiting. After feeling shitty for years I finally decided to reach out for help this spring. I saw three different therapists for evaluation, they all seemed to have different ideas of what's wrong with me. Anyway, I will be getting therapy but in a couple of months. Waiting is just driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about it, thinking about what's wrong with me, if I'll be able to go or if I'll just freak out and skip the first appointment, who my therapist will be and just thinking about everything that feels difficult about therapy and that feels so difficult I've been putting this off for years. I don't really know how to handle this waiting, even if it might just be until the end of the summer.
My friend has the same problem but much worse. He is trans and is on a waitlist for trans health care. That list is about 4 years long and my friend is very dysphoric and upset about the waiting.
How do we handle this? How do I deal with the waiting? Is there any productive way of overthinking my upcoming therapy sessions? And how do I support my friend?
I really think i have that. :/ i think its maybe with my bpd :/
BPD can cause us to be impulsive.. but we can still distract and use the other tools to try and keep it at bay. xoxo
Me too :( I also have BPD and my friends are so sick of it happening and having to bail me out every time. And then I get grouchy and defiant like a teenager with their parents trying to do whatever they want.
I used to have bpd...I mean, more like I'm in remission, but I still struggle with this one.
How do I cope with a shopping addiction alongside BPD and CPTSD? My biggest trigger for spending is anxiety or being upset and I often do it as a self soothing thing like in DBT but that turns into buying ten self soothing things because the hurt and the pain isn't going away. I am on a very low income so I end up spending most of my money on crap, mostly food on the go and coffee. Halp!
I relapsed with self harm and don't know how to tell my therapist or parents. We just made a plan to reduce the frequency of therapy. What do I do?
this kind of makes me wonder if I have a shopping problem because I'm a gamer and I see myself having around 700+ games on Steam alone but I only completed around 5% of them and some are bought from stuff like Christmas sales and others when they were newly released.
Hey Kati! I've been seeing a doctor for my Ed but she says I don't need her because I am physically well. I'm really struggling there isn't a day or even an hour I don't think about food and losing weight. I asked my counsellor to look into me seeing a therapist to talk about my eating struggles with. She ended up talking to the eating disorder group and they said if I was physically well I didn't need their help and I'm fine I have no idea what to do. I want help finally and now I can't get it.
#katiFAQ Ive been extremely suicidal recently and I even went to the ER, but that's a really long story for another day. Anyways when I went they asked me tons of questions, if I have sucidal before, if I had a plan, if I thought people where after me etc. I answered no to those questions even though the answer was yes tk everyone. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet. So a few questions now: I'm worried now because I lied Whst should I do? Im going to therapy in September and wondering if I should bring jet up and if I do will i be hospitalized? In live in Ontario, Canada. Thank you.
The seven day rule is good for everyone; wait seven days and if you still want it, get it. Most things I change my mind on.
Any tips for excessive sleeping? If I am even slightly tired I desperately want to sleep. I do have a history of OCD.
Could be a sign of depression or something you're trying to avoid. Is this true for you?
I missed the video because I was ordering something from Amazon what happened? 🤔
What is the difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety?
One is a personality disorder and one is an anxiety disorder. You can have a personality disorder combined with an anxiety disorder, but you can also have just the anxiety disorder or the other way around (with or without comorbidity). Or you could just have social anxiety without a full blown anxiety disorder. Sometimes social anxiety stems from trauma, sometimes it comes forth out of shame, guilt or a mood disorder or due to hormonal fluctuations during the luteal fase in the menstruationcycle. It depends on the severity, duration and combination of internal and external circumstances, and who you are as a person.
#katifaq hi kati i have been dianosed with ocd and complex ptsd. reasently i have wondered ho the two interact and how do i manage both. thank you so much for starting this chanel. you were the one who got me to understand what was hapening to me when i got my first panic attack and how to manage them. i wouldnt be here today without your help online.
best wishes haven c.
Sometimes I just like to put stuff in my cart and won't click the "check out" button
i wish you were my therapist
a lot of counseling places have free debt counseling
That's great to know!! Thanks for sharing! xoxo
Have you addressed compulsive gambling?
Apparently, gambling and compulsive spending are related and work with the same Dopamine rush mechanism. Two different vices, the same mechanism.
it's like gambling, I lost alot of money on fb dips, is it gambling or is it shopping.
Either way, the mechanism stays the same for both gambling and shopping. A shopping addiction and gambling addiction are both treated the same in therapy. Shopping and gambling share the same traits, work with the same hormones released in the brain and are both ways of spending too much money compulsively. You could have both, whatever vice you use the most.
Thanks to eBay my fridge is empty ) :
Spending is part of Borderline Personality Disorder!
It definitely can be.. due to the impulse control issues many with BPD struggle with. xox
Do you still do #katiFAQ ?