Moses Emmet Some people really are dreamy. Even after you marry that person and you two live together for years. Some people can accept their partner's shortcomings and still feel joy and happiness. Maybe life wore you out. Lmao!
This is very true though. I remember having a crush on someone that turned out to be very abusive and manipulative, including very self-centered and boring to talk to. It was a big disappointment but I'm happy I've found someone else as beautiful and as respectful.
Its crazy but with my ex, I saw his flaws, all of them I saw him for who he truly is and still I loved him. I too, showed myself to him without any masks but he didn't like that at all. So here I am, heartbroken. Wondering how can I have loved someone so much despite of their flaws while they were only falling out of love when they saw mine. It's crazy and truly cruel.
It is. I'm sorry for you. You're more mature and better than him. It broke your heart, but it also freed you from an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship to allow you to thrive alone or with someone better. But for now, focus on yourself first, fight for your happiness. And that means you have to slowly, but surely get over him. It's gonna be okay.
@@mqh2411 The same applies to me. Only difference is I’m a man. It’s been 1.5 years and it still agonizes me. I just wanted to be happy, and make her happy, that’s all.
I feel you. My ex asked me out a year ago but I wasn't sure back then so we decided to be friends so that we could know each other better turns out he fell out of 'love' and I fell into love. We started a relationship which lasted for a few months and now somehow I end up being heartbroken. Life is funny like that sometimes.
" The lover that we need is not someone who stays with us because they think we are irreplaceably marvellous, but they've realised that noone is as attractive as they seem at first'' my favourite line
This is true. GF replaced me with someone noticeably less good-looking, less financially stable, and less intelligent. When I asked her why she chose him, she just said because he listened and talked to her, which was weird because being busy with work and spending less time with each other was our mutual decision so we could establish a better life. Sometimes, cheaters or those who leave for another look for one thing that is missing in their current relationship and think it's everything when they see it with the new person. The reality is, however, they're just trading down for scraps of what they think they're missing.
i think, and correct me if i am wrong, they chose someone else because they feel like they found someone better for THEM than us, not necessarily better, which means we are complete and whole and there's probably someone better our there for us, who fits US more.
As much as we want to believe in the fairy tail romance that he or she is "the one", there are many people out there who would be incredible life partners who you could end up loving just as much or more than "the one" you thought you were destined to be with.
Sebas-chan roboto yup I guess that was the reason why I fell on my face with my dumb Perfektionism. Now I am 3 years older than my classmates because I was afraid to fail and so I always failed
I firmly disagree; the sadness is caused by your clinging to the fantasy you made up in your head about someone, as a way to deflect from your own self hatred. I personally find it exquisitely beautiful to meet the real person, warts and all, as they reflect back to me my own flawed nature. I will love their flaws as much as I love mine.
Amen I've been rejected and feeling sad for like a month now but with this video I can surely relax and be okay with it. Human are not perfect. I hope he find his happiness and I'll find my calmness.
I was dumped by my husband for a girl seven years younger. We married young. 12 years of marriage and he found someone during his deployment and left. I sacrificed my career, family, friends. Nothing made him satisfied. Now it’s time to invest in my own happiness.
Hope things worked out for you. I'm still not over my last relationship that ended more than 2 years ago and has kept getting rejected for. Even though i push back by not contacting them or approaching them its something I think about every day. Its hard to let go when one doesn't know how to.
It made me feel so much better, especially after understanding the fact that I’ve been left by someone whom I was willing to love despite knowing their fallacies and that it’s more of their loss than mine. Thank you School Of Life!
Just today I saw the person I'm in love with, with his new girlfriend. And yes, I also thought that she is perfect for him and why on earth would he ever choose me instead of her. She is more beautiful, taller, younger, probably has a much more interesting life and personality than me. And yes, I also thought that now it's only the beginning and they're still in love and fascinated with each other. And that this is bound to change. I get everything you say and I totally agree with these observations. But the thing is ... he is with her and not with me. And I miss him and I want him in my life. I am rationalizing everything but the pain and torture is here and it's breaking my heart.
Him being with her is only at this moment. As you said, they are currently in the 'honeymoon period' at the beginning of a crush. Give them time to see each other's flaws, the more space you can give them the faster they will see these flaws. In the mean time, if you really wish to be with that person, the first thing you can do is to improve yourself as a person. When you keep working on yourself, who knows. You might end up loving yourself and realizing the need to be with that person has become a tiny fraction of what it once was. Now you might also be able to make a more objective, rational decision when that person comes back for you - and they will also see how much you've improved yourself.
This is a late comment, but mark my words: Now it sucks but this will prepare you for someone new that will make you happier. Take these experiences and learn and the right person for you will seemingly appear out of thin air. Every disappointment, mistake (even my own), tragedy in my relationships had a much better outcome than I had ever hoped.
I think one of the most important things to remember is that there are plenty of options out there for us. If one option doesn’t work, then there are hundreds of other people who would be a great partner in our lives.
I do not agree there is hundreds. U do meet optimal numbet of ppl through your life, but not all are concious enough to satisfy you. I would like some1 who is aware enough of himself, with enough integrity, concious etc. I want high starting point, and not to need to fix some1. I want some1 who is already ready for direct, open comunication, with mature emotional state. But speaking of this, when u find one like that, all problems somehow become resolved, without leaving any space for resentment. With mature comunication there are no any rivals to be left for. You are fulfilled already. This topic, i think, is for those who are kind of lower on emotional growth scale.
Be yourself, don't have regrets, learn, grow, adapt, and look at things in a different way. Fill your heart with genuine love, and that will change how you perceive people and things, and how life responds to you.
It hurts when someone you were in a relationship leaves you. But it kills you when your best friend of years suddenly ghosts you and you don't even know why.
Practice having confidence in yourself, know that you and only you are tho most important person in your life! Don't let your live be influenced by other, see yourself as valuable and learn to love yourself!
@@fernandogomezdelatorre3296 just 4 days ago my 4 year relationship ended. He told me it was because of me but I feel like everything he deemed wrong about me and what was wrong about the relationship I feel were projections of himself. I was a good woman to him. In the morning he told me he loved me. And that same night he ended everything.
Its weird but I feel like I shouldn't have to fight for someone in a sense, or fight for someone to choose me. Because if he really does like/love me, it wouldn't be a fight, it would've been a victory in the beginning.
The fundamental purpose of life is sexual selection. I'm very glad to have a meaning of life given to me by nature! I'm motivated to work out and to live an active lifestyle so I can maintain a good quality product to sell.
We are all far from perfect. I'll never feel bad for being imperfect again. My ex had standards so high that she will be tossing men out every three or four years after the dopamine and oxytocin cocktail disappears and all the flaws she "just can't oversee" begin to sabotage her latest relationship. In the meantime through self reflection and introspection I continue to grow and accept fundamental flaws of every person I come in contact with.
If they leave you for someone else then it's like a burglar breaking into your house and stealing a bag of rubbish. Yes you've been robbed but what they've robbed isn't worth your time or emotion.
T R 🤣🤣🤣 this is so funny! My dad recently found a dead cat in the yard and put it in a plastic bag and tied the top. He left it on his car before going to put it out with the rest of the rubbish and someone came into the yard and stole it 😭. I was left for someone else but my ex was really annoying and I couldn't get away so his new flame saved my life 🙃
Wowzer. Painfully true - “The deep lesson of being supplanted is not that we are so bad, it’s that we have been left because of a common delusion - that belief that if only one was in a different relationship, one would be happy. And yet, the truth is that more or less every relationship has its own special and beautifully distinct forms of unhappiness.”
That bunny is cuter anyway. Me, I've been left specifically to pursue someone else once - she chose him over me entirely because he was ten years younger, having secretly dated both of us at the same time and once she was through with me, told him that I had been stalking her and must leave her alone. A few months later when he dumped her, she came crying to me and affirming my good qualities yet again, but of course I was well over her by this point.
"...Strangely consoling truth, that every person in the planet has much wrong with them." this stood out to me. We build a perfect imagine of people in our heads and forget how flawed our thinking and their behavior can be in the midst of what we think is love. Thank you very much for the video.
The words, “I choose her over you, and she’s everything i always wanted you to be” still haunt me. I spent years with this man, and we just had a baby. I pray for peace in my heart, mind and soul. I loved all of him, including the imperfections. I hope to one day find myself happy, and at peace. I look forward to the day that this is just something in my past, and not something that held me back. I hope for Healing and peace for everyone going through something difficult at this time 🤍
As long as we believe that love exists to a person that we think is meant to be with us, then we will always find a way to be in his side as long as we choose to live.
Thank you so much. Thank you helping me realize that. I was just dumped yesterday. Fresh out of a 5 year relationship and the pain feels almost unbearable. But I will get through it. Thank you so much for this.
I used to watch this over and over again when my ex left me. Calling him an ex is also an exaggeration, when he only saw me as a rebound and I was stupid enough to blind myself. Watching this and meanly wished that he could see that grass is not always greener on the other side. Today I found out he got married four months ago. Though a bit sad, I feel rather free from my mind. From now on, I’ll have one fewer person to think about forever.
Absolutely. I made a few bad mistakes mostly due to alcohol. I said some horrible things I didn't mean, and messed up a couple nights which could have been very fun by being blackout drunk, but I deserve forgiveness in my opinion. I admit my faults, and I'm willing to work on them. Change doesn't come over night, and I can't make her let go of the traumatic memories that remind her of her father. That's a process only she can go through. Now I'm on my own, and it feels weird. It's a great opportunity to work on myself, and I did feel a bit smothered in some ways. She was a bit overbearing in some ways, but I usually held my own boundaries pretty well. Not sure how she's feeling or whether there's someone new in her life or not. It's sad to lose someone you've been engaged with and in relationship for almost 7 years. I can tell you that much. I also loved the two cats.
My heart is so dark right now. The pain is so deep and umberable. Also my first love, I was invested. I was willing to work on the issues, I loved her so deep, I actually thought she was gonna be the one. Forever. It hurts to loose her as a girlfriend, I dont want to loose her friendship, the intimacy, the love. I want to see her happy, if the relationship was making her sad, I have to accept it and move on. But its just a thought in the air, my actual feelings are so depressing. The only thing that sometimes calms me is that maybe we will keep being friends, but I dont know if she will want that too, even though she says she does wants that, I dont know if she will change her mind. She is not perfect, nor was I, but it was so nice, and healthy, yes it had its issues but so fixable. I dont know how to explain the amount of suffering Im going through, but seeing more people going through the same thought processes its helpful.
I had a short "fling" with a girl at work whom I really liked. She ended up ending things to pursue a relationship with someone else. I'm feeling worthless, powerless, depressed right now... this video made me feel somewhat better
This is amazing and its just changed my whole perspective on my recent break up and my ex moving on super quick. That new person will have faults and flaws, just like me, and just like my ex. Its a comforting and reassuring thought. Thank you.
This is random but I'm turning 25 this Oct 8th and I didn't have any partners since after college. People around me are trying to pressure me to be in a relationship so I can prepare for my future and idk why I'm not willing to get into one. What I know is, getting into this kind of drama is the last thing that I want in my life right now and I think getting dump for someone is the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Yes please take it at your own pace. Do not let others pressure you into a relationship. It is not worth it like that. And the pain of a break up is indescribable.
Love is a choice and a commitment ❣️ thanks for the video! Helps me understand my initial feelings from my ex’s rebound. Plus, an understanding of why my current relationship is going so well now!
Please know that anyone going through heartbreak, you will be ok... time WILL heal if you progress with yourself. Im 44 and I felt soooooo much pain I had never experienced about 4 months ago from being left by a beautiful person who just wasn't my match I now realise but it forced me into working on LOVING MYSELF as most of us don't do this before we find ourselves in a relationship that can end which means pining over another form if they leave us..
This is an incredibly helpful video in my long and difficult process of understanding myself and accepting myself for who I am. Thank you for making these videos, I can't imagine how many people you've managed to reach and help through them
This hit extremely close to home in a number of ways. Same thoughts same situation, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you guys for helping untangle my skull noodle. SoL is some of the best online content available today.
I like how Parisians view love relationships! It never ends well! You either go through a breakup after an affair, or go through a divorce after marrying or you end up widowed like I did after 42 years! Very pragmatic outlook on life! Best to learn how to self-partner with oneself! BTW, love the graphics! Thanks for sharing~
i’ve been left multiple times, it sucks because i’m too scared to get hurt agian but at the same time i also really want friends, and don’t cope well without friends :[
I’ve just come full circle in this process. I broke up with someone because I’d spent most of the relationship being on the fence about whether they were really what I wanted. I then spent the next 6 years slowly coming to the conclusion that she was in fact the only woman I’d ever met who was any good for me. I took the chance to meet her again. I took the 1.5 hour flight to her (where we both lived when we were together) under the guise of seeing other friends (which I did also do), but the main objective was really to see if it would feel like I expected it to when I saw her again. Later, as we were about to hook up, I ignored her warnings that she didn’t want anything more to come of it afterwards. 3 months later I’m still absolutely devastated that she doesn’t want me and not sure if I regret things getting physical or not. I do understand in many ways - this was all my own doing in the first place and I put her through this heartbreak or worse when I broke up with her, so of course it would be ludicrous of me to expect her to have gone through all that for nothing. She’s built a good life for herself without me and I have to let her do what is best for her. Probably this biggest and most horrendously painful lesson I’ve ever learned in my life.
"Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. Only a brute or an altruist would claim that the appreciation of another person’s virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one’s own selfish interest and pleasure are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries an ideal woman or a slut." ~ Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness, 31
I don't know why I've listened to the voice that was telling me that i am a complete failure , it's my fault and that she found someone better , and she was right that i changed. All this dumb things dragged me down for a long time. Thank you for waking me up.
That's the reason I hate being in a relationship nowadays Being left for someone else or let alone themselves has always been very tough and difficult for me I hate being abandoned And that's why I haven't chose anyone else And I continue to thrive with myself
I've recently been left, but not for someone else -at least not that I know, even though it's a possibility. The worst part is that she left without even having the guts of telling me "I don't want to see you anymore"; she just ghosted me after several months of a very deep and -apparently- loving relationship. So I don't even know what it is that made her leave -all possibilities are open-, and I've had to made the conscious decision of not looking for answers anymore and not falling into the trap of "why". I just decided to move on with my life.
a video on coping with the emotions (guilt?) of leaving would be wonderful. popular media tends to focus heavily on various versions of being abandoned and I wonder if the other half have found healthy ways to soothe themselves because sucking-it-up just sounds immature.
I’ve been dating someone for two months, and while we’ve had good moments, I’ve noticed a pattern that’s becoming challenging. After we spend time together, she calls the next morning to tell me what I did wrong or how I didn’t meet her expectations. It feels like she’s unable to communicate how she feels in the moment and instead overthinks things when she goes home. I’m aware of my own flaws and know I’ve messed up a few times, but I’m open to working on them and improving. However, it feels like she’s focusing mostly on the negatives without acknowledging any positives. She recently ended our relationship, and I feel like two months isn’t enough time for her to really know me or see my efforts to grow. For context, she came out of a five-year relationship just three months before we met, and she often mentions feeling pressured by time to find the “right partner” quickly or else she fears it might be too late. She also doesn’t have much dating experience-she’s only had three boyfriends her whole life, and the longest relationship was with a guy who didn’t meet her needs in any meaningful way
Could you make a video about dealing with jealousy? I feel like this is a very harsh problem for a lot of people, me certainly. Not about what it's psychological origins are or how your partner has to not put you throw it, but how to actually deal with those waves of jealousy. For instance, I get instantly triggered when my partner mentions her past experiences in any way. And it's not just her mentioning it, we live in a small city so I can actually meet those people/see a picture online, so the triggers are constantly there, I can't just hide from it. I consider myself a fairly reasonable person and I do understand what's in the core of that feeling, but it frustrates me so much that I literally can't do anything about it except to just sit through this whirlpool of explainable, but barely justified anger and envy. Maybe there is a mental framework that I'm missing out on. Please help.
It's my first serious relationship and she's actually trying to avoid triggering me, so it's not her manipulations (I hope), most of it is just my mind overthinking. I think I have trust issues without any actual reason for it, it's just there. But thanks for the feedback.
I think it's a reasonable expectation for someone's partner to exercise restraint when talking about the past. I myself need to be really careful about talking about exes. Not that I think my current beau is affected by it too much. Even so, I need to ask myself what my motive is by doing that? Something I've heard said is that the person talking about the past may be engaging in what is known as "euphoric recall"...and they may not even know that that is what they are doing. If you and your partner are serious, I think it's worth talking to her about it - - and what you may need to do is explain that you need to set a boundary with her. And, ask her if she is willing to acknowledge that you need this boundary and will she try to respect it. It's tricky territory. Sometimes women talk about their exes because they may not want the same mistakes repeated in their current relationship. For instance, 1 person may talk about past abuse in the hopes that they will not be the victim of such behavior again. (It's just an example. It could even be about more trivial things.) There's an interesting resource which you and your partner may want to investigate. It's called "Non-Violent Communication" (there's a book/website by the title). I hope this may be somewhat helpful. I can appreciate that hearing about exes can be a painful thing.
Hiya, been there, done that and i'm afraid the only answer is one you probably don't want to hear. Your jealousy is nothing to do with what your partner has done or is doing. Your jealousy comes from a lack of self worth, self-respect and self love. If you loved and accepted who you are, faults, strengths, et al you simply wouldn't care about any of this. Unfortunately learning to accept yourself is a unique journey for everyone and there are no instant off the shelf answers. The first step is to stop thinking it''s about anything external to yourself and start looking inside, examine what you are actually feeling. This can be hard. It was for me. Just as an example, When I heard about the sexual experiences she had enjoyed I felt jealous and anxious. It took forever to realize I wasn't jealous of her for having them. I was envious because i wanted those kind of experiences and hadn't experienced what I truly wanted. This was just the first step, where i went from there was a long and wonderful journey which is still underway. Therapy, meaningful discussions with friends, internet videos that reveal new ways of thinking can all help but the answer is inside you, these are just paths to find it. I wish you all the best and hope you resolve your pain. You are a perfectly fine, lovable individual, we all know that, when you know that for yourself you will enjoy life more than you can imagine. Hang on and keep working, it's worth it.
Emotions are energy in motion. You won't find a mental model is enough. We need to release past trauma through energy healing. At some point the amygdala will calm down x
If you exept others faults then you can exept their good parts, and because nobody's perfect it works out. Its there faults we live with that we have to be compatable with, not just the fun loving side.
So true. So true! But there are many out there that carry WAY TOO MUCH BAGGAGE to see a future with. As long as you realize... nobody is perfect, I’m sure it will give you a much better perspective
I don't know how to reconcile with the fact that I'm utterly devastated by the thought of my sort-of-ex partner loving someone else, while at the same time feeling deep down that we should part for good (we're on the contentiously debated "break"). I truly begin to crumble with the thought of him connecting with another woman, it feels the way strangulation might to a neck. I want him to be happy, but the space he still fills in my heart can't comprehend a universe where our lives no longer intersect, where our once connection is now severed, and his connecting piece then tethered to another woman who will take the place of where I once stood. I feel selfish. I feel heartbroken.
I'm not really buying this. I've had a few relationships in my adult life, and without idealizing, some were just better then others. They are definitely not all equally frustrating.
but you actually buying it , you are saying the same thing this video says, your are a prove to every word video said, for you "less frustrating" is an option it doesnt mean that other worse person whom you left have no right to live or is worst being and that other some who were just better are perfect being in the world they have their own problem too but you are a woman and this video is mostly point out men and i dont think woman suffer existentially like men in this modern and feminist era
@@noshadb.e3111 wth are you saying. At no point did op say the person they left has no right to live. They just sayin this vid is wrong when it states all relationships are more or less the same. Theyre not.
"At no point did op say the person they left has no right to live" you just couldnt get it "it states all relationships are more or less the same" yes they are unless you want to prove your point with exceptions,all relationship are MORE or LESS the same
@@noshadb.e3111 more or less the same means pretty much the same (its an english phrase, just explainin cuz it seems english isnt your first language). Im arguing its not and that some relationships are better than others. For example, my relationship with one of my two best friends soured (now no longer bf) and the other did not. Clearly, one relationship is better than the other.
Sometimes I understand the inadequacy of myself and other people. But the reasons for leaving sometimes are so shallow. Still, I don't feel any easier for that.
Wonderful video. I've been dating this guy for about 4 months. I didn't want to generate attachment too soon, so I've been observing him during the whole time, in order to discover if there was a real, meaningful connection. As soon as I started been affectionate with him ( like sending text messages saying that I miss him when he was abroad), he changed his attitude towards me completely and started being cold. I told him in a polite way that I won't continue dating until knowing if there is a chance to become a couple. Unfortunately, he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship with me (supposedly because he's busy at work). I accepted the rejection, however, a friend told me that he was in touch with his ex-girlfriend during the whole time we dated, and apparently, they would come back together soon. Even if I didn't generate feelings, I was feeling used and low because of that, but this video helped me to see the situation from another perspective. Thank you!
sometimes cheap products are chosen over authentic ones and when this is realized it is too late.... i was the song she skipped and later on realized it was a hit one...if you are going through been left trauma hang on you are not alone in this...we are all there with you
This showed up on my feed at an oddly ironic time in my life. Fear of abandonment has always been hard to explain for me.. this video helped me a lot. Thank you 🙏
My (ex)boyfriend left me twice for the same person. Back then when we were giving the relationship a second try, there wasn´t a day where I didn´t fear losing him to her again (they remained really close after they broke up). I constantly compared (still do) myself to her. He should´ve just stayed with her all this time... But anyway, this video changed my perspective. It is indeed oddly satisfying to know that his new lover might also be flawed, probably in ways that I wasn´t. It is comforting to know that they might not be as uncomplicatedly happy. And now that I came to this realisation (thanks to this video), I think that I might as well start seeing my own virtues, even if the video says it isn´t the answer. I´ve been focusing oh my ex and the person he cheated me with for a long time, perhaps right now is the opportunity to focus on myself.
A lot of these brilliant ideos were uploaded in the month leading up to my breakup last year. I wish I had known about these then. I think they would've so brilliantly conveyed what I wanted to tell my ex. Might even have saved us, who knows.
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back.
While I agree with most of what's said, it's also, important to remember that it's not always about who is "better", it's more about who fits another better. When 2 people have too different sets of values, they will have a hard time to get along. Saying we're practically all the same cause we all have different advantages and disadvantages, doesn't mean everyone fit everyone - Some people fit better for other people, not cause one is more of value, but one is just a better jigsaw. In conclusion, what I don't like about the video is just the idea that the other person with the new bf/gf is gonna be just as unhappy, it's not true, some people answer our needs better than others... just cause... they naturally fit more. It has nothing to do about our personal value and lovability though :). Emotional availability is one of those tricky areas, when you feel deprived of engagement in your relationship, it's more likely you'll start looking for it somewhere else, it's not about how valuable you are, it's about really being there for your partner, hearing them out, and not disengaging the moment you feel it's safe to disengage without a loss.
I used to think my ex was emotionally intelligent. Mind you, relative to me at the start she may have been. I have learned a lot since she noticed the grass looks greener over the fence. Her unrealistic expectations of life was one of the things that really annoyed me in our relationship. And it turned out to be what allowed her to destroy our family to be with someone who was willing to help her. Hard not to hope that I can later say I told you so. Best to not look back and prolong the hurt.
I was left today. Thank you. He unfriended me and that was that. I’d planned on going to meet him and we’d even said I love you. I don’t understand. The dog growling part made me laugh thanks.
We woke up. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, that he wanted to have children with me and love me until he's last breath. Two hours later we had a fight and he went completely cold with tall walls around him and he broke up with me and didn't even want to talk about it at all. I was sent to my place with all my stuff. I still don't understand anything, don't understand what happend. He change his personality in a matter of milli second.. And suddenly there was no emotional understanding or nothing left in him.
@@winniewairimu7891 quickly found out that I most likely had to do with a narssesist. He came back, continued with this " dance" of his - so I left him. Now I'm happily married to a wonderful man and we are having our first baby in under a month ❤️life is great ❤️
Watching this stuff when you're healed hits different... I don't know who needs to hear it, but trust me, you'll be ok
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"No one examined from up close is ever anything other than disappointing." This line was my favorite
Lmao same. I was like "my man, who hurt you 😂"
I was like, "That freaking hurts man"
Well people are generally disappointing
Ourselves included.
How uplifting ;)
It’s funny how dreamy you think someone is until you spend enough time with them.
Only naive teenagers think that way. Anyone with any sort of experience knows everybody has problems and is just human after all.
a lot of adults are still teenargers realtionships wise
Moses Emmet Some people really are dreamy. Even after you marry that person and you two live together for years.
Some people can accept their partner's shortcomings and still feel joy and happiness.
Maybe life wore you out. Lmao!
This is very true though. I remember having a crush on someone that turned out to be very abusive and manipulative, including very self-centered and boring to talk to. It was a big disappointment but I'm happy I've found someone else as beautiful and as respectful.
sarah18497 life had a name and ironically her name was Sarah.. 😂 wait.. Sarah is that you? I’m a different guy now- let’s give US another shot!
These videos always seem to show up just when they’re needed most, thank you
Edna Crow I couldn’t agree more.
So true.
Edna Crow daaamn right if they did not upload this one I would have done something cray tonight
Definitely - the timing on the last few relationship videos have been eerily on point
I agree. 😊
Its crazy but with my ex, I saw his flaws, all of them I saw him for who he truly is and still I loved him. I too, showed myself to him without any masks but he didn't like that at all. So here I am, heartbroken. Wondering how can I have loved someone so much despite of their flaws while they were only falling out of love when they saw mine. It's crazy and truly cruel.
It is. I'm sorry for you. You're more mature and better than him. It broke your heart, but it also freed you from an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship to allow you to thrive alone or with someone better.
But for now, focus on yourself first, fight for your happiness. And that means you have to slowly, but surely get over him.
It's gonna be okay.
@@mqh2411 The same applies to me. Only difference is I’m a man.
It’s been 1.5 years and it still agonizes me. I just wanted to be happy, and make her happy, that’s all.
@@mqh2411 Thank you for your wise words. I wrote them down for when i need to hear it again. ♥
I feel you. My ex asked me out a year ago but I wasn't sure back then so we decided to be friends so that we could know each other better turns out he fell out of 'love' and I fell into love. We started a relationship which lasted for a few months and now somehow I end up being heartbroken. Life is funny like that sometimes.
Same here. Girlfriend didn’t want the relationship anymore. Hurts like hell. I loved her but she didn’t love me back.
The only school I attended today
ShinSlvrstv *..... the only school I’ve ever learnt from ...*
Same
LMAO same.
@@BY-ux9pi pretty well summed up
@@evm7272 check this out
" The lover that we need is not someone who stays with us because they think we are irreplaceably marvellous, but they've realised that noone is as attractive as they seem at first'' my favourite line
I think it's important to remember that our rival isn't necessarily chosen over us for being "better" than us.
catdog well mine looked or maybe still looks better than me but I worked on that and I think I just have to get better at school.
This is true. GF replaced me with someone noticeably less good-looking, less financially stable, and less intelligent. When I asked her why she chose him, she just said because he listened and talked to her, which was weird because being busy with work and spending less time with each other was our mutual decision so we could establish a better life. Sometimes, cheaters or those who leave for another look for one thing that is missing in their current relationship and think it's everything when they see it with the new person. The reality is, however, they're just trading down for scraps of what they think they're missing.
Beshak
Sid Natividad how are you doing?:)
i think, and correct me if i am wrong, they chose someone else because they feel like they found someone better for THEM than us, not necessarily better, which means we are complete and whole and there's probably someone better our there for us, who fits US more.
As much as we want to believe in the fairy tail romance that he or she is "the one", there are many people out there who would be incredible life partners who you could end up loving just as much or more than "the one" you thought you were destined to be with.
but you don't know who and where they are and will probably never meet them. in short, settle.
Michael Jay - Value Investing
And some people are completely undesired by everyone they meet.
Where they at Michael?!
My heart isn't a baseball card that's easily traded.
May I ask you, sir, if English is your mother tongue?
Yayyy we are all mediocre
Sebas-chan roboto 😂
We are a huge family then~
Yes, but uniquely so.
Sebas-chan roboto yup I guess that was the reason why I fell on my face with my dumb Perfektionism. Now I am 3 years older than my classmates because I was afraid to fail and so I always failed
I have this favorite quote from bojack horseman:
“it’s so sad when you see someone as they really are, it ruins them”
And I couldn’t agree more.
My favorite is "when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look life flags".
I firmly disagree; the sadness is caused by your clinging to the fantasy you made up in your head about someone, as a way to deflect from your own self hatred. I personally find it exquisitely beautiful to meet the real person, warts and all, as they reflect back to me my own flawed nature. I will love their flaws as much as I love mine.
Amen I've been rejected and feeling sad for like a month now but with this video I can surely relax and be okay with it. Human are not perfect. I hope he find his happiness and I'll find my calmness.
same sisterrrrrrrrrr, preach the school of life!!
You will. 💜
I was dumped by my husband for a girl seven years younger. We married young. 12 years of marriage and he found someone during his deployment and left. I sacrificed my career, family, friends. Nothing made him satisfied. Now it’s time to invest in my own happiness.
Hope things worked out for you. I'm still not over my last relationship that ended more than 2 years ago and has kept getting rejected for. Even though i push back by not contacting them or approaching them its something I think about every day. Its hard to let go when one doesn't know how to.
How you doing now
It made me feel so much better, especially after understanding the fact that I’ve been left by someone whom I was willing to love despite knowing their fallacies and that it’s more of their loss than mine. Thank you School Of Life!
Just today I saw the person I'm in love with, with his new girlfriend. And yes, I also thought that she is perfect for him and why on earth would he ever choose me instead of her. She is more beautiful, taller, younger, probably has a much more interesting life and personality than me. And yes, I also thought that now it's only the beginning and they're still in love and fascinated with each other. And that this is bound to change. I get everything you say and I totally agree with these observations. But the thing is ... he is with her and not with me. And I miss him and I want him in my life. I am rationalizing everything but the pain and torture is here and it's breaking my heart.
Him being with her is only at this moment. As you said, they are currently in the 'honeymoon period' at the beginning of a crush. Give them time to see each other's flaws, the more space you can give them the faster they will see these flaws. In the mean time, if you really wish to be with that person, the first thing you can do is to improve yourself as a person. When you keep working on yourself, who knows. You might end up loving yourself and realizing the need to be with that person has become a tiny fraction of what it once was. Now you might also be able to make a more objective, rational decision when that person comes back for you - and they will also see how much you've improved yourself.
This is a late comment, but mark my words:
Now it sucks but this will prepare you for someone new that will make you happier. Take these experiences and learn and the right person for you will seemingly appear out of thin air. Every disappointment, mistake (even my own), tragedy in my relationships had a much better outcome than I had ever hoped.
Thank you! Your words give me comfort!
Man did I write this comment?
I felt that last part 😭 how are you doing now??? I need to know
I think one of the most important things to remember is that there are plenty of options out there for us. If one option doesn’t work, then there are hundreds of other people who would be a great partner in our lives.
Father Red - Epic Dating Advice For Men 👍🏾
I do not agree there is hundreds.
U do meet optimal numbet of ppl through your life, but not all are concious enough to satisfy you.
I would like some1 who is aware enough of himself, with enough integrity, concious etc. I want high starting point, and not to need to fix some1. I want some1 who is already ready for direct, open comunication, with mature emotional state.
But speaking of this, when u find one like that, all problems somehow become resolved, without leaving any space for resentment. With mature comunication there are no any rivals to be left for. You are fulfilled already.
This topic, i think, is for those who are kind of lower on emotional growth scale.
@@auk8174 agree 100% ^
Yup you're right somehow ....BTW I've seen you in the comments section in the latest video of TED-ed !!
You have some resentment issues..
Be yourself, don't have regrets, learn, grow, adapt, and look at things in a different way. Fill your heart with genuine love, and that will change how you perceive people and things, and how life responds to you.
So true❤️
I've been around the block enough times to know that starting a relationship before the one you're in is resolved is not a good idea.
It hurts when someone you were in a relationship leaves you. But it kills you when your best friend of years suddenly ghosts you and you don't even know why.
Yup, been there felt that. The worst part was that they were the same person.
Practice having confidence in yourself, know that you and only you are tho most important person in your life! Don't let your live be influenced by other, see yourself as valuable and learn to love yourself!
This comment helped me a lot just now
@@liza1395 I'm so glad to hear that! I'm thinking about posting a video about that soon!
olufuko kaech
@@fernandogomezdelatorre3296 just 4 days ago my 4 year relationship ended. He told me it was because of me but I feel like everything he deemed wrong about me and what was wrong about the relationship I feel were projections of himself. I was a good woman to him. In the morning he told me he loved me. And that same night he ended everything.
@@liza1395 Happened with me too. We had amazing sex and then the day after he said we're just friends after telling me he loves me so many times.
Accepting how disappointing life really is, is very hard and depressing but also very liberating.
Its weird but I feel like I shouldn't have to fight for someone in a sense, or fight for someone to choose me. Because if he really does like/love me, it wouldn't be a fight, it would've been a victory in the beginning.
We might be able to travel at the speed of light in the distant future, but we'll never ever be able to escape relationship problems....
The fundamental purpose of life is sexual selection. I'm very glad to have a meaning of life given to me by nature! I'm motivated to work out and to live an active lifestyle so I can maintain a good quality product to sell.
very good way to think about it thanks
We are all far from perfect.
I'll never feel bad for being imperfect again. My ex had standards so high that she will be tossing men out every three or four years after the dopamine and oxytocin cocktail disappears and all the flaws she "just can't oversee" begin to sabotage her latest relationship.
In the meantime through self reflection and introspection I continue to grow and accept fundamental flaws of every person I come in contact with.
If they leave you for someone else then it's like a burglar breaking into your house and stealing a bag of rubbish. Yes you've been robbed but what they've robbed isn't worth your time or emotion.
T R 🤣🤣🤣 this is so funny! My dad recently found a dead cat in the yard and put it in a plastic bag and tied the top. He left it on his car before going to put it out with the rest of the rubbish and someone came into the yard and stole it 😭. I was left for someone else but my ex was really annoying and I couldn't get away so his new flame saved my life 🙃
Well put
Yeah!!!!
Wow I love this.
I just think of what the poor sucker is missing out on by not choosing me for a lover instead😎
Sebastian Elytron Very well said!
✨🥳
That's just misery talk
Great perspective.
Wowzer. Painfully true - “The deep lesson of being supplanted is not that we are so bad, it’s that we have been left because of a common delusion - that belief that if only one was in a different relationship, one would be happy. And yet, the truth is that more or less every relationship has its own special and beautifully distinct forms of unhappiness.”
This video helped me to heal 4 years ago, thank you. Coming back to it is like coming back to an old friend
“We all know that light travels faster than sound. That's why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Albert Einstein (Maybe?)
That bunny is cuter anyway.
Me, I've been left specifically to pursue someone else once - she chose him over me entirely because he was ten years younger, having secretly dated both of us at the same time and once she was through with me, told him that I had been stalking her and must leave her alone.
A few months later when he dumped her, she came crying to me and affirming my good qualities yet again, but of course I was well over her by this point.
10 hours ago I got my heartbroken.This was undeniably perfect for me right now. Perfect time, the school of life
Are you over him now?
@@TheAkenox Hell yeah I am! And that same guy tried to hit me up again. NOPE lmfao
@@kittycatkiss530 how are you doin'?
"...Strangely consoling truth, that every person in the planet has much wrong with them." this stood out to me. We build a perfect imagine of people in our heads and forget how flawed our thinking and their behavior can be in the midst of what we think is love. Thank you very much for the video.
The words, “I choose her over you, and she’s everything i always wanted you to be” still haunt me. I spent years with this man, and we just had a baby. I pray for peace in my heart, mind and soul. I loved all of him, including the imperfections. I hope to one day find myself happy, and at peace. I look forward to the day that this is just something in my past, and not something that held me back. I hope for Healing and peace for everyone going through something difficult at this time 🤍
How many years were you two together?
reminds me the line "everyone has something substantially wrong with them..."
Suspicious that this channel recommends videos seemingly knowing whats been going on in my life. Im onto you!!
As long as we believe that love exists to a person that we think is meant to be with us, then we will always find a way to be in his side as long as we choose to live.
damn these videos are so heart warming and re-assuring. Hey you reading this,you're ok. You're awesome.
Thanks!
The school of Life explain in a few minutes something that It took me several months to understand. Magnificent
Thank you so much. Thank you helping me realize that. I was just dumped yesterday. Fresh out of a 5 year relationship and the pain feels almost unbearable. But I will get through it. Thank you so much for this.
I used to watch this over and over again when my ex left me. Calling him an ex is also an exaggeration, when he only saw me as a rebound and I was stupid enough to blind myself. Watching this and meanly wished that he could see that grass is not always greener on the other side.
Today I found out he got married four months ago. Though a bit sad, I feel rather free from my mind. From now on, I’ll have one fewer person to think about forever.
Love Rival? Damn I'm still single. But still watching this. Like if your watching this and still single
cuz you are searching for likes lol
I'm single, but this video still helps me view things from an angle that helps me value myself more
Maybe we're single because of a love rival took a partner from us
Been single since I was born. I mentally deteriorate because of the loneliness
I believe this can happen to people even when they were single. The love-rivalry can be felt in simple jealousy.
Literally got dumped for someone else last week. How do you always time these videos so perfectly with the events in my life?
Are you over the person now ?
I’ve been dumped and I’m still trying to heal but this definitely has helped me ❤️
Absolutely. I made a few bad mistakes mostly due to alcohol. I said some horrible things I didn't mean, and messed up a couple nights which could have been very fun by being blackout drunk, but I deserve forgiveness in my opinion. I admit my faults, and I'm willing to work on them. Change doesn't come over night, and I can't make her let go of the traumatic memories that remind her of her father. That's a process only she can go through. Now I'm on my own, and it feels weird. It's a great opportunity to work on myself, and I did feel a bit smothered in some ways. She was a bit overbearing in some ways, but I usually held my own boundaries pretty well. Not sure how she's feeling or whether there's someone new in her life or not. It's sad to lose someone you've been engaged with and in relationship for almost 7 years. I can tell you that much. I also loved the two cats.
This literally took a load off my shoulders and dried my tears
Good stuff 👌🏿
She is 4 years with him and i cant forgett her, it makes me sick that i still love her
My heart is so dark right now. The pain is so deep and umberable.
Also my first love, I was invested. I was willing to work on the issues, I loved her so deep, I actually thought she was gonna be the one. Forever.
It hurts to loose her as a girlfriend, I dont want to loose her friendship, the intimacy, the love. I want to see her happy, if the relationship was making her sad, I have to accept it and move on. But its just a thought in the air, my actual feelings are so depressing.
The only thing that sometimes calms me is that maybe we will keep being friends, but I dont know if she will want that too, even though she says she does wants that, I dont know if she will change her mind. She is not perfect, nor was I, but it was so nice, and healthy, yes it had its issues but so fixable.
I dont know how to explain the amount of suffering Im going through, but seeing more people going through the same thought processes its helpful.
I had a short "fling" with a girl at work whom I really liked. She ended up ending things to pursue a relationship with someone else. I'm feeling worthless, powerless, depressed right now... this video made me feel somewhat better
U okey now ?
@@കള്ളിയങ്കാട്ടുനീലി I'm definitely better now but my ego and sense of self-worth is still in shambles. But I'll survive. thx for asking :)
This is amazing and its just changed my whole perspective on my recent break up and my ex moving on super quick. That new person will have faults and flaws, just like me, and just like my ex. Its a comforting and reassuring thought. Thank you.
This is the only content keeping me altogether, I just need to watch more because I definitely don’t watch enough.
This is random but I'm turning 25 this Oct 8th and I didn't have any partners since after college. People around me are trying to pressure me to be in a relationship so I can prepare for my future and idk why I'm not willing to get into one.
What I know is, getting into this kind of drama is the last thing that I want in my life right now and I think getting dump for someone is the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Yes please take it at your own pace. Do not let others pressure you into a relationship. It is not worth it like that. And the pain of a break up is indescribable.
Hi this was a long time ago. Update??
Love is a choice and a commitment ❣️ thanks for the video! Helps me understand my initial feelings from my ex’s rebound. Plus, an understanding of why my current relationship is going so well now!
Rather be left and replaced, than to recycled in the ex waiting pool.
It’s like UA-cam knew that my heart just
Got shattered to pieces
Please know that anyone going through heartbreak, you will be ok... time WILL heal if you progress with yourself. Im 44 and I felt soooooo much pain I had never experienced about 4 months ago from being left by a beautiful person who just wasn't my match I now realise but it forced me into working on LOVING MYSELF as most of us don't do this before we find ourselves in a relationship that can end which means pining over another form if they leave us..
Geez, thank u, I found out my ex has a new girlfriend two days ago and this is has helped A LOT.
This is an incredibly helpful video in my long and difficult process of understanding myself and accepting myself for who I am. Thank you for making these videos, I can't imagine how many people you've managed to reach and help through them
This hit extremely close to home in a number of ways. Same thoughts same situation, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you guys for helping untangle my skull noodle. SoL is some of the best online content available today.
And to smash up a relationship is only a prelude to novel encounters with frustration and disappointment. ❤
I like how Parisians view love relationships! It never ends well! You either go through a breakup after an affair, or go through a divorce after marrying or you end up widowed like I did after 42 years! Very pragmatic outlook on life! Best to learn how to self-partner with oneself! BTW, love the graphics! Thanks for sharing~
i’ve been left multiple times, it sucks because i’m too scared to get hurt agian but at the same time i also really want friends, and don’t cope well without friends :[
thank you for speaking about this. i feel helped once i feel dumped by the person whom i thought, will never quit our journey.
I’ve just come full circle in this process. I broke up with someone because I’d spent most of the relationship being on the fence about whether they were really what I wanted. I then spent the next 6 years slowly coming to the conclusion that she was in fact the only woman I’d ever met who was any good for me. I took the chance to meet her again. I took the 1.5 hour flight to her (where we both lived when we were together) under the guise of seeing other friends (which I did also do), but the main objective was really to see if it would feel like I expected it to when I saw her again. Later, as we were about to hook up, I ignored her warnings that she didn’t want anything more to come of it afterwards. 3 months later I’m still absolutely devastated that she doesn’t want me and not sure if I regret things getting physical or not. I do understand in many ways - this was all my own doing in the first place and I put her through this heartbreak or worse when I broke up with her, so of course it would be ludicrous of me to expect her to have gone through all that for nothing. She’s built a good life for herself without me and I have to let her do what is best for her. Probably this biggest and most horrendously painful lesson I’ve ever learned in my life.
"Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. Only a brute or an altruist would claim that the appreciation of another person’s virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one’s own selfish interest and pleasure are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries an ideal woman or a slut." ~ Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness, 31
I just feel like I'm not good enough..
That's why I got left
I'm just really terrible and filled with flaws **sighs**
💔🙇♀️
I don't know why I've listened to the voice that was telling me that i am a complete failure , it's my fault and that she found someone better , and she was right that i changed. All this dumb things dragged me down for a long time. Thank you for waking me up.
These videos bring me so much comfort, when I'm suffering sometimes.
I have been going through some troublesome phase, and this channel feels like therapy to me
That's the reason I hate being in a relationship nowadays
Being left for someone else or let alone themselves has always been very tough and difficult for me
I hate being abandoned
And that's why I haven't chose anyone else
And I continue to thrive with myself
Wise choice
I've recently been left, but not for someone else -at least not that I know, even though it's a possibility. The worst part is that she left without even having the guts of telling me "I don't want to see you anymore"; she just ghosted me after several months of a very deep and -apparently- loving relationship. So I don't even know what it is that made her leave -all possibilities are open-, and I've had to made the conscious decision of not looking for answers anymore and not falling into the trap of "why". I just decided to move on with my life.
a video on coping with the emotions (guilt?) of leaving would be wonderful. popular media tends to focus heavily on various versions of being abandoned and I wonder if the other half have found healthy ways to soothe themselves because sucking-it-up just sounds immature.
I’ve been dating someone for two months, and while we’ve had good moments, I’ve noticed a pattern that’s becoming challenging. After we spend time together, she calls the next morning to tell me what I did wrong or how I didn’t meet her expectations. It feels like she’s unable to communicate how she feels in the moment and instead overthinks things when she goes home. I’m aware of my own flaws and know I’ve messed up a few times, but I’m open to working on them and improving. However, it feels like she’s focusing mostly on the negatives without acknowledging any positives.
She recently ended our relationship, and I feel like two months isn’t enough time for her to really know me or see my efforts to grow. For context, she came out of a five-year relationship just three months before we met, and she often mentions feeling pressured by time to find the “right partner” quickly or else she fears it might be too late.
She also doesn’t have much dating experience-she’s only had three boyfriends her whole life, and the longest relationship was with a guy who didn’t meet her needs in any meaningful way
Could you make a video about dealing with jealousy? I feel like this is a very harsh problem for a lot of people, me certainly.
Not about what it's psychological origins are or how your partner has to not put you throw it, but how to actually deal with those waves of jealousy.
For instance, I get instantly triggered when my partner mentions her past experiences in any way. And it's not just her mentioning it, we live in a small city so I can actually meet those people/see a picture online, so the triggers are constantly there, I can't just hide from it. I consider myself a fairly reasonable person and I do understand what's in the core of that feeling, but it frustrates me so much that I literally can't do anything about it except to just sit through this whirlpool of explainable, but barely justified anger and envy. Maybe there is a mental framework that I'm missing out on.
Please help.
It's my first serious relationship and she's actually trying to avoid triggering me, so it's not her manipulations (I hope), most of it is just my mind overthinking. I think I have trust issues without any actual reason for it, it's just there. But thanks for the feedback.
I think it's a reasonable expectation for someone's partner to exercise restraint when talking about the past. I myself need to be really careful about talking about exes. Not that I think my current beau is affected by it too much. Even so, I need to ask myself what my motive is by doing that? Something I've heard said is that the person talking about the past may be engaging in what is known as "euphoric recall"...and they may not even know that that is what they are doing. If you and your partner are serious, I think it's worth talking to her about it - - and what you may need to do is explain that you need to set a boundary with her. And, ask her if she is willing to acknowledge that you need this boundary and will she try to respect it. It's tricky territory. Sometimes women talk about their exes because they may not want the same mistakes repeated in their current relationship. For instance, 1 person may talk about past abuse in the hopes that they will not be the victim of such behavior again. (It's just an example. It could even be about more trivial things.) There's an interesting resource which you and your partner may want to investigate. It's called "Non-Violent Communication" (there's a book/website by the title). I hope this may be somewhat helpful. I can appreciate that hearing about exes can be a painful thing.
Hiya, been there, done that and i'm afraid the only answer is one you probably don't want to hear. Your jealousy is nothing to do with what your partner has done or is doing. Your jealousy comes from a lack of self worth, self-respect and self love. If you loved and accepted who you are, faults, strengths, et al you simply wouldn't care about any of this. Unfortunately learning to accept yourself is a unique journey for everyone and there are no instant off the shelf answers. The first step is to stop thinking it''s about anything external to yourself and start looking inside, examine what you are actually feeling. This can be hard. It was for me. Just as an example, When I heard about the sexual experiences she had enjoyed I felt jealous and anxious. It took forever to realize I wasn't jealous of her for having them. I was envious because i wanted those kind of experiences and hadn't experienced what I truly wanted. This was just the first step, where i went from there was a long and wonderful journey which is still underway. Therapy, meaningful discussions with friends, internet videos that reveal new ways of thinking can all help but the answer is inside you, these are just paths to find it. I wish you all the best and hope you resolve your pain. You are a perfectly fine, lovable individual, we all know that, when you know that for yourself you will enjoy life more than you can imagine. Hang on and keep working, it's worth it.
@@steeleye2112 does she know you commented this?
Emotions are energy in motion. You won't find a mental model is enough. We need to release past trauma through energy healing. At some point the amygdala will calm down x
If you exept others faults then you can exept their good parts, and because nobody's perfect it works out. Its there faults we live with that we have to be compatable with, not just the fun loving side.
So true. So true! But there are many out there that carry WAY TOO MUCH BAGGAGE to see a future with. As long as you realize... nobody is perfect, I’m sure it will give you a much better perspective
Been watching a lot of these recently......for reasons...but THANK YOU for this one!
I don't know how to reconcile with the fact that I'm utterly devastated by the thought of my sort-of-ex partner loving someone else, while at the same time feeling deep down that we should part for good (we're on the contentiously debated "break"). I truly begin to crumble with the thought of him connecting with another woman, it feels the way strangulation might to a neck. I want him to be happy, but the space he still fills in my heart can't comprehend a universe where our lives no longer intersect, where our once connection is now severed, and his connecting piece then tethered to another woman who will take the place of where I once stood. I feel selfish. I feel heartbroken.
Thank u dear School of life .. for being a source of comfort in my difficult times .
Love from India 🇮🇳
I'm not really buying this. I've had a few relationships in my adult life, and without idealizing, some were just better then others. They are definitely not all equally frustrating.
I agree. I've had relationships that were clearly better than others. This is probably framed just so heartbroken people can feel a bit better.
but you actually buying it , you are saying the same thing this video says, your are a prove to every word video said, for you "less frustrating" is an option it doesnt mean that other worse person whom you left have no right to live or is worst being and that other some who were just better are perfect being in the world they have their own problem too
but you are a woman and this video is mostly point out men and i dont think woman suffer existentially like men in this modern and feminist era
@@noshadb.e3111 wth are you saying. At no point did op say the person they left has no right to live. They just sayin this vid is wrong when it states all relationships are more or less the same. Theyre not.
"At no point did op say the person they left has no right to live" you just couldnt get it
"it states all relationships are more or less the same" yes they are
unless you want to prove your point with exceptions,all relationship are MORE or LESS the same
@@noshadb.e3111 more or less the same means pretty much the same (its an english phrase, just explainin cuz it seems english isnt your first language). Im arguing its not and that some relationships are better than others. For example, my relationship with one of my two best friends soured (now no longer bf) and the other did not. Clearly, one relationship is better than the other.
Sometimes I understand the inadequacy of myself and other people. But the reasons for leaving sometimes are so shallow. Still, I don't feel any easier for that.
I think the videos on this channel are food for the soul . Alain De Botton has such a relaxing voice .
Wonderful video. I've been dating this guy for about 4 months. I didn't want to generate attachment too soon, so I've been observing him during the whole time, in order to discover if there was a real, meaningful connection. As soon as I started been affectionate with him ( like sending text messages saying that I miss him when he was abroad), he changed his attitude towards me completely and started being cold. I told him in a polite way that I won't continue dating until knowing if there is a chance to become a couple. Unfortunately, he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship with me (supposedly because he's busy at work). I accepted the rejection, however, a friend told me that he was in touch with his ex-girlfriend during the whole time we dated, and apparently, they would come back together soon. Even if I didn't generate feelings, I was feeling used and low because of that, but this video helped me to see the situation from another perspective. Thank you!
THIS DESERVES MORE VIEWS
Why am I watching this while being single
sometimes cheap products are chosen over authentic ones and when this is realized it is too late.... i was the song she skipped and later on realized it was a hit one...if you are going through been left trauma hang on you are not alone in this...we are all there with you
True never trade ah 100 dollar bill for ah penny
This showed up on my feed at an oddly ironic time in my life. Fear of abandonment has always been hard to explain for me.. this video helped me a lot. Thank you 🙏
wow, i needed that today. these videos can be so therapudic
My (ex)boyfriend left me twice for the same person. Back then when we were giving the relationship a second try, there wasn´t a day where I didn´t fear losing him to her again (they remained really close after they broke up). I constantly compared (still do) myself to her.
He should´ve just stayed with her all this time...
But anyway, this video changed my perspective. It is indeed oddly satisfying to know that his new lover might also be flawed, probably in ways that I wasn´t. It is comforting to know that they might not be as uncomplicatedly happy.
And now that I came to this realisation (thanks to this video), I think that I might as well start seeing my own virtues, even if the video says it isn´t the answer. I´ve been focusing oh my ex and the person he cheated me with for a long time, perhaps right now is the opportunity to focus on myself.
Story of my life 🙃
I love this, the illustrations are so nice and the characters super cute. I love your wisdom
A lot of these brilliant ideos were uploaded in the month leading up to my breakup last year. I wish I had known about these then. I think they would've so brilliantly conveyed what I wanted to tell my ex. Might even have saved us, who knows.
I needed this it made sense, and I feel better. Thanks Prince Charles
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back.
This video just switched a cog in my brain that allowed me to let go of a lot of past carried pain. AND IT FEELS AMAZING! HA!
I would have really needed this three months ago. But, better late than never haha
This channel but specially this video is so much right about what will happen after somebody is left for someone else...
Just suggested on the right moment and now I feel more confident and comfortable. You easy my mind. Thanks so much!
While I agree with most of what's said, it's also, important to remember that it's not always about who is "better", it's more about who fits another better. When 2 people have too different sets of values, they will have a hard time to get along. Saying we're practically all the same cause we all have different advantages and disadvantages, doesn't mean everyone fit everyone - Some people fit better for other people, not cause one is more of value, but one is just a better jigsaw. In conclusion, what I don't like about the video is just the idea that the other person with the new bf/gf is gonna be just as unhappy, it's not true, some people answer our needs better than others... just cause... they naturally fit more. It has nothing to do about our personal value and lovability though :). Emotional availability is one of those tricky areas, when you feel deprived of engagement in your relationship, it's more likely you'll start looking for it somewhere else, it's not about how valuable you are, it's about really being there for your partner, hearing them out, and not disengaging the moment you feel it's safe to disengage without a loss.
I was searching for this video... The comfort it gave me is priceless. Thanks.
I used to think my ex was emotionally intelligent. Mind you, relative to me at the start she may have been. I have learned a lot since she noticed the grass looks greener over the fence. Her unrealistic expectations of life was one of the things that really annoyed me in our relationship. And it turned out to be what allowed her to destroy our family to be with someone who was willing to help her. Hard not to hope that I can later say I told you so. Best to not look back and prolong the hurt.
I was left today. Thank you. He unfriended me and that was that. I’d planned on going to meet him and we’d even said I love you. I don’t understand.
The dog growling part made me laugh thanks.
We woke up. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, that he wanted to have children with me and love me until he's last breath. Two hours later we had a fight and he went completely cold with tall walls around him and he broke up with me and didn't even want to talk about it at all. I was sent to my place with all my stuff. I still don't understand anything, don't understand what happend. He change his personality in a matter of milli second.. And suddenly there was no emotional understanding or nothing left in him.
How are you holding up now?
@@winniewairimu7891 quickly found out that I most likely had to do with a narssesist. He came back, continued with this " dance" of his - so I left him. Now I'm happily married to a wonderful man and we are having our first baby in under a month ❤️life is great ❤️
this felt nice but i still envy how they can be there and i can't