Why It’s Actually Good to “Settle” in Love | Feat. Oliver Burkeman

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 39

  • @GalacticWoman
    @GalacticWoman 20 днів тому +51

    People grow over time and what seems like 70% may become 80% or only 30% ...its impossible to choose on thise basis. Its always character that is key as are core values

    • @mike198383
      @mike198383 19 днів тому +9

      Core values I think are really important and going the same direction in life also. One thing I learned from someone is that as we grow and change we have to find a way to move in the direction our partner is going. Prime example I had open heart surgery and had some changes mental and emotionally and was not quite the same before i got sick. The person I was with fought me on it and I just could not continue the relationship. But doing therapy and trying to learn and communicate is key.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger 17 днів тому +2

      Totally. People grow, and those numbers can change. Character and core values are what really matter.

    • @immers2410
      @immers2410 10 днів тому

      Character is stable over time and is the only factor consistent enough to judge people on

  • @mo_6298
    @mo_6298 19 днів тому +40

    If you have the constant urge to do more and fill up your calendar with tasks, maybe it's because you are trying to fill the available space and not think about things that worry you or let yourself feel difficult emotions? I think it happens to a lot of people.

    • @juliafisher5844
      @juliafisher5844 19 днів тому +3

      Agreed 👍

    • @LeAngryBanana
      @LeAngryBanana 14 днів тому

      I’m in the midst of taking a break with my partner and I couldn’t agree with this more. It hurts like hell and I’m constantly trying to fill the void, but for now im just going to allow myself to feel and be okay with being alone and loving myself for me

  • @sujatasadanand2375
    @sujatasadanand2375 19 днів тому +7

    One of the best interviews i have seen. Thanks for having Mr Oliver Burqeman. He has such great insights

  • @d-etoile5596
    @d-etoile5596 2 дні тому

    What a pleasant and insightful podcast Matthew. T.U. For bringing this to the community👏

  • @findinghomewithReginainSC
    @findinghomewithReginainSC 2 дні тому

    Matthew, you did a great job with the questions. And the answers you contributed to the discussion

  • @travelfun3513
    @travelfun3513 18 днів тому +3

    thanks for including the over 50 daters and the non skippable ads are the best- i dont have to get up to hit the (skip")😊❤

  • @jackietaylor3188
    @jackietaylor3188 17 днів тому +8

    Mathew… I'm not sure if it's the English intonation or the context, but that man seems like he's your future self lol you're very similar in your views and expression. good good podcast loved it getting the book❤🎉

  • @Happyduck1995
    @Happyduck1995 2 дні тому

    I will never accept being settled for after being hurt so much by women in my past. I have made peace with being single for life and doing my own thing.

  • @renee359
    @renee359 10 днів тому +1

    “What is life asking of you in this moment.” Wow

  • @joanpc400
    @joanpc400 14 днів тому

    I loved the interview. I read 4000 weeks and loved it. Can't wait to read this one.

  • @witchmorrow
    @witchmorrow 18 днів тому +1

    two of my fave thought leaders!!

  • @patriciawenzel8350
    @patriciawenzel8350 19 днів тому +1

    Growing or just status quo in the relationship? Not necessarily diminishing.

  • @Tad-For-Global-Peace
    @Tad-For-Global-Peace 17 днів тому +6

    I feel so depressed. I can’t eat and I’m crying a lot. Anyone else?

  • @lylyanazarela4807
    @lylyanazarela4807 19 днів тому

    Thanks Matthew for always bringing out important topics❤

  • @debbrockmann7935
    @debbrockmann7935 20 днів тому +1

    Life changing information. Thank you ❤

  • @janeyhemsley7794
    @janeyhemsley7794 19 днів тому

    Just ordered book from audible. Thank you for inspiring interview.

  • @GoodGirlGoneMad
    @GoodGirlGoneMad 16 днів тому +7

    There is such a danger in being the “out-of-league-person” and “settling”. That will never be a healthy dynamic. Finding somebody on the same level with the same interests and lifestyle is probably more likely to have long-term success.

    • @AnxStudios
      @AnxStudios 6 днів тому +1

      out-of-league thingy is only valid for extreme situations and your comment is very ego-centric. like dude are you people really choosing your relations according to her physics? we are in almost 2025. almost anything is possible with plastic surgery these days and its really easy u know. same interests and lifestyle? i agree with that. but i dont believe out of league thing. even the most beautiful will perish in the long run due to years..

  • @fransienortje4821
    @fransienortje4821 2 дні тому

    Me (woman) are sharing a relationship with a man. After two years i was adking why he still introduce me as his friend? He said it is because we are not married and i will always be "the" friend. I wish to move out but rent is too expensive. He want me to stay please because he can not handle it to be alone? This not a healthy relationship??? I wish to meat a live and kind man???

  • @meghasharma604
    @meghasharma604 10 днів тому

    how to access 'Matthew AI'

  • @ΑνδριαναΑνδριανα-ρ2τ

    Nobody dates me😢

  • @aragongaming3272
    @aragongaming3272 19 днів тому

    I prioritize more on games thn her this led her to lose interest in me and cause the breakup I know i made mistake but I realise how much I love her after breakup, and the breakup is part of life I agree but I can't overcome this guilt that I didn't treat her right and she wouldn't give me chance to fix it, how do I overcome?

    • @naturandmor
      @naturandmor 15 днів тому

      Do games and dont bather 😁

    • @juliafisher5844
      @juliafisher5844 14 днів тому

      @@aragongaming3272 depends if you want to be with her. If yes then you need to make contact to sincerely apologise and ask to meet in person. Get help or have willpower and self motivation to stop or severely limit the gaming addiction. Its not your fault these are designed to get you hooked. Let her know you've changed and if she will give you another chance. Good luck 👍

    • @AA-wc3tw
      @AA-wc3tw 12 днів тому +1

      Reflect, learn, grow, heal, and after 12+ mos, try again with that information and growth in your toolbox. The more you know about yourself, the more you can heal yourself and make better decisions.
      Regarding the games: reflect and try to figure out why games are so immensely important to you that you prioritized them above your partner. There's a lot to unpack there.
      Then evaluate the role of games in your life: healthy or unhealthy? And decide whether you should significantly reduce your gaming or quit altogether.

  • @alevnilmusic
    @alevnilmusic 19 днів тому

    🙌🏽

  • @danielatupinamba7425
    @danielatupinamba7425 19 днів тому +9

    I felt that this video is more appropriated to men. I don't see we women having 80% of right persons, actually I didn't find my 1% 😂 and I believe that we women are more willing to settle down, this is not a problem for us.

    • @thehealingfairee
      @thehealingfairee 18 днів тому +4

      I disagree, I'm the pickiest person in dating! But the men I know just want a nice woman with a pulse.

    • @danielatupinamba7425
      @danielatupinamba7425 18 днів тому

      @thehealingfairee I'm picking too, that's why I'm single. And I have pulse too, that's why I don't accept less.

  • @guilty_pleasure-qn6be
    @guilty_pleasure-qn6be 20 днів тому +4

    1st?