It’s horrible but it’s so relatable 😞 I haven’t hugged my mother in about 5 years now and I know people who have parents that consider their existence a burden. Very sad
HOLY HOLY!!! I can proudly say that I have the two HOTTEST women on this planet as MY GIRLFRIENDS! I am the unprettiest UA-camr ever, but they love me for what's inside! Thanks for listening alex
remember you are NOT your intrusive thoughts and/or dreams. if u know they dont represent who u truly sre and what u believe in, dont worry ab it too much.
Pedro Soares intrusive thoughts should not be taken seriously, you have millions of thoughts floating around everyday, but you don’t have to act upon every thought
Pedro Soares you’re your soul, just existing in the universe. Your mind creates a whole world of who you perceive yourself and others as but we forget that we’re all parts of the universe in different forms and have the same thing at the core, those are just mine and some others beliefs
This just gave me the words to describe how I was feeling 6 years ago. I wasn’t suicidal, I fantasized about being dead to see how others may have reacted to it.
I don't know if I am suicidal because I am way too scared to do it but if I could chose I'd choose death over life to end it this constant pain, I feel this. I am pretty much depressed. Ever since I was 7 I've been thinking of what people will do if I die. Will people finally care? Will people finally love me? Will I finally be appreciated? Last year and the beginning of this year, every single day when I was going home I would always think about me dying young and imagining people's reactions. I still imagine me dying every single day but not to that extended.
@@shijutu same here . Dont worry you're not alone. All I can say is try to make your life better .. it will be hard to stop thinking about death but we have to be strong
I fantasize about things like death, rape, loss and grief too. I understand where she's coming from. The desir to be seem, to be watched and cared about. Having "real" reasons for our pain instead of "weak" one. It's relatable in so many level, and the guilt that comes after that eat you because you feel like you're a bad person for ever thinking that way.
same here, i always fantasize about these things, i can only fall asleep if i think about things like that, i do feel bad tho bc there are people out there who really have suffered / suffer from these things but i j cant stop these thoughts
@@luvbug1237 Hm, in my opinion, it's because we almost always lessen our experiences, our pains. We put sort of degrees to it, and when we think it's not enough, it hurt us ever more. Because why would people care if that problems in not as important as someone who has been raped, or lost a family member? So we fantasize about loss and death and all of those stuffs. But most importantly we fantasize the reaction, the idea that if we go through those sort of pain then our pain will finally matters otherwise it won't, it doesn't. But, the trick is to understand that we do not need to go though experience as these one, after all if people didn't care of your pain before that, for the pain that we degree as "weak" then why are they even on my life? Because they are not such pain that is more acceptable than anothers.
My knee jerk reaction was to say “these are maddd,” but after taking a step back, most of these are relatable on some scale. People either want help, want to help, or want to feel loved.
Miguel Hernandez I’ve seen you reply with these same insensitive sentiments on multiple comments now but saying they need a “violent reality check” really takes the cake. I hope that you find peace within yourself, stop going out of your way to attack others and make better use of your time in the future.
@@zwebackshyper half of these are literally the result of having no one to love or who shows love to you. Only a couple are problematic to others. That's why it's relatable to others. Many of these sorts of people do seek help, but that doesn't magically make the right people appear in their lives
To the person who thinks about hurting people... Although your thoughts are terrifying, the fact that you’re concerned and afraid of hurting people, shows that you’re experiencing normal and rational emotions. This is your silver lining, my friend... You’re still a normal and sound minded person. I know it may feel as though you can’t reach out for help, but scheduling an appointment would probably require just as much courage as it took for you to send in your confession. I wish only the best for you.
Yes or he could just be curious. Like a part of us all want to be the Disney villain for a day until we remember that hurting anything sentient intentionally is morally wrong in all ways - compassion and empathy aswell as basic morals is deep rooted in our subconscious just like survival
Every day for about 3-4hrs, I fantasize about living a life that I wish I had. I wish I could stop but I just can't, it makes me very happy living in that world.
your comment is already 2 months old but i want to ask you if you have ever heard of maladaptive daydreaming maybe you can identify with this i do this myself as well and i think i have finally found a name for it
"I keep replaying the day i let my kid go to the concert with his friends. I wish I had gone with him I wish I had forced his friends mom to go with him I wish he had never bought the tickets I wish he was not standing in the spot where he was. I wish the shooter was short the moment he was seen with the gun I wish there was no guns sales." This one got me the most. I couldn't imagine going through something like that with one of my siblings or future kids. It's heartbreaking
@@identity2257 LMAOO WHY U SO PRESSED- we're allowed too sympathize with the vicim and their parents.. we're allowed too worry about our future children..it doesn't matter if we have kids or not..I really don't know why ur calling us snowflakes
So I actually was really surprised when I watched this to find that mine was read out loud. I won’t say which one it was, but hearing these strangers’ responses and even reading some of these comments made me cry and have brought me such comfort. Like this is the kind of stuff you never feel like you can tell people. This kind of discussion is so important. What you guys do is so important.
What the dude says at 4:03 is really accurate. I also fantasise about loss, rape, grief etc and it's a really dark secret that I find really hard to talk about since it makes you seem like a crazy person. It really just comes from a place of wanting to be loved and cared for, especially since tragedy is usually the thing that draws care and attention from others. People who fantasise about such scenarios are just lacking and craving love in their real lives.
i relate to you . but it's not the same in real world . nobody saves you , you gotta deal with it all your own . it feels as if they will care atleast in my fantasies
I fantasized about getting in a car accident, being in a coma, becoming paralyzed, becoming seriously ill... I wanted pity, I wanted people to care about me, I wanted to have someone, anyone worry about me.
@@myheartwillstopinjoy8142 It's probably not the best idea, but imma do say it anyways. I kindof fantasized the same things, I wanted to be in pain, to be sick, so that others would see and care about me. And I got something along the lines of a psychosomatic disorder at a young age. But the thing is, I do suffer, every day, every night, but no one really sees my suffering. They don't understand, and they don't really care either. And you'd probably know, psychosomatic pain is very real, yet it doesn't show even if a doctor checks you. Thus, I got the suffering part, but not the rest of my wish. I may still fantasize that. But what I'm trying to say is, don't wish for suffering, cz you'll definitely get it, but in the worst way possible. And then there will just be more suffering than yesterday. He who does not care about you when you're not suffering wouldn't really care when you're suffering either.
I really felt the pillow one. It's hard for me to imagine someone loving me romantically, and it's hard for me to love someone also. My logic is that I can't say I love someone because I can't even say it about myself.
My philosophy of when going into a relationship is that the person you are with shouldn't make you happy. They should make you happier. Otherwise, you become completely dependent on that person and lose self-worth. Learn to make yourself happy and find worth in yourself. Then you will find the right person.
I sometimes fantasize about having a burnout or a mental breakdown just so I don't have to take the step of actually confessing to someone that I'm in pain and struggling with life. But I always manage to rest peacefully with the fact that I could never actually physically harm myself because I still do have some love and care for myself.
This year I had burnout and I was just so tired and I had a bunch of other feelings and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know what it was but it was horrible I had nightmares I was always stressed and a bunch of other stuff. I tried telling my parents many times but they never really understood that I wasn’t ok because I kind of hid it a little. But one time my brother asked if I was ok and I just started crying a bunch and I started laughing and crying and I couldn’t breath and it was kinda relieving because they could finally actually see that I was struggling with and that I was actually struggling
Believe me it's not worth hurting yourself, someone who has been living with self-harm for 9 years tells you this, and surprisingly people don't care about you even if they are physically seeing you're hurting yourself, I say it from my personal experience, I know it's sad, but I never heard someone ask me if I was ok, not even now, So yeah even if people see that you are literally screaming for help they don't do anything. Sorry for my English.
i fantasize about being in relationship to know what it’s like to be in love bc i know i will never fall in love someone but if i did i know i’ll get bored of them and want to leave them…
I told my best friend this EXACT same statement weeks ago. He laughed it off and was trying to cheer me up because I was "on a downer". I wasn't, I still feel that way. Never been in a relationship; but I feel I know myself too well and that feeling of love once I have felt it will bore me to death.
22 here and never fell in love... I don't think I'm attractive enough for someone to fall in love with me either and I have a hard time making emotional connection with ppl around me... Like I'll cry watching bambi, but I don't feel anything when my friend tell me her grandma who i met passed away or when my mom friend who I saw very often died. I think something is wrong with me...
Esther same sometimes i feel like i can't feel anything for anyone. i had a boyfriend for over 2 years and i still don't think i was actually in love cause that "feeling" was so short and not like idk intense? and i feel like i just physically can't feel it and no one can really feel anything for me either and really care for me in a romantic way. and i don't tell it anyone because i know they'll say "oh you're just 20 you'll experience it" but i genuinely feel like i won't and i can't but on the other hand i want it so bad and really need someone to just hug to and to have someone that would actually care about me
Most of these secrets stem from feelings of unworthiness. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are worth a fight, sacrifice, love and everything else you desire. If the people around you make you feel like your not, get away as soon as possible. Even if it’s your mother. You don’t want those voices to become your own.
@@samuel-ux4gy Keep reminding yourself that you're enough. It's tough, I know because I believed in myself when I had no choice except practicing self-love/faith. It's gonna get better. I'm not really far but I'm trying. Same with every individual out there, you don't have to get results immediately but you can always try. You can always make efforts to love and improve yourself. Ofcourse, take professional help if you feel you need to(try your best even if you're under someone's care).
Arthi .M.P technically no one asked for anything to be said. no one asked for u to say “literally no one asked”. no one needs consent from anyone to say something
I really don’t think I’m suicidal, but sometimes I fantasize about killing myself and leaving behind notes to my siblings about how their harsh treatment affected me. I guess I want them to realize what they’re doing or smth like that…
Hey... Thinking about suicide or thinking about dying are both suicidal thoughts, even if you have no actual plans. I strongly recommend you reach out to someone, Karina.
how heartbreaking. among us are people who have been so deprived of patient, nurturing and attentive care to the point where they want to experience trauma so that they may be loved afterwards. i hope they find the healing they need & deserve. 🖤
I never knew what maladaptive dreaming was until I read this comment a month ago. Then I researched it and realised I had it. I have it still but more under control. Thanks.
I fantasise about going to a mental hospital so people can finally see my struggle which I hide so well. I hide it so much, that no one would ever expect what i really think to come from me. I am not myself. But I dont know if I wish I could be my true self?
This used to be me. Then I got really mentally ill and actually went to one for 4 months. 0/100 would not recommend, it is overly romanticized and not at all like you probably expect it to be. I still fantasize about it to this day, but like you said, it’s not because you/I actually want to be in one, it’s because we want others to realize how bad we are struggling.
Hey there, I hope you are fine rn. You have the willpower to do it, don't sell yourself short and take action to do what you need to do to reach that state of well-being
It's sad that I relate to some of them because I fantasize about bad things happening to me so that at least someone would care I'm sorry Just wanted to get it out
I’m crying because I feel so connected to everyone in this video. I feel less alone. Even about that guy saying “it takes something bad to happen in your life to make people notice you or notice you’re hurting”. I’ve struggled with this for 12 years. I struggle with feeling seen and heard. It’s hard. But thanks for understanding where that person was coming from and in turn making me feel less alone.
If mental conditions and states like being homicidal, pedophilic, or having rape urges weren’t so stigmatized, people would be able to get treatment and there would be far less abuse in the world
@@answers_for_all4379 A desire is a fantasy that you want to happen. But you can have fantasies about things you DON'T want to happen. These types of fantasies are usually called "intrusive thoughts" and are unwanted and not based on desire. For example, some people have intrusive thoughts of hurting others, but they are not psychopaths as their intrusive thoughts make them feel guilty and awful, and though they would never act upon them they fear their thoughts. Meanwhile, there might be someone who has violent fantasies that is NOT horrified by said fantasies and enjoys fantasizing about them.
@@fabplays6559 A lot of people, including myself experience desires of doing something or being in some type of situation etc ...but they dont acctualy want that to happen cuz of who knows what reason maybe they think they acctually wouldn't be able to handle it. Its the same with fantasies. The only difference I see between fantasy and a desire is that fantasy is this whole type of situation you created in your head, which is what? Its based on your desires.
I see some comments that talk about how we are not our intrusive thoughts & it's important to cultivate our thought processes but no solutions, so here's what helped me. You can work on changing your thoughts. I used to have really negative self-talk but I started adding in a second "voice" to counteract those. In the moments I was caught beating myself up, that voice made sure I knew those weren't kind things to say & instead used loving words to refer to myself. It helped immensely. It also works when you have thoughts about hurting others, tragedies, etc. Just start implementing a dialogue in your head that knows it's not something you really want to happen & processes why you have that thought to begin with, ie past trauma or events. We're all deserving of love; the first steps come from within ❤️
I always feel so messed up for fantasizing about certain things because I know people have suffered because of it and that its a problem, but I just can’t help myself from dreaming about too and stuff. Uhhh
Sometimes I fantasize about collapsing at school or just something terrible happening to me in public just so someone can notice me struggling or just being worried about me, sometimes I even imagine me making myself collapse by overdosing...
There really needs to be more education and knowledge about OCD specifically pure o and intrusive thoughts. Many of these "fantasies" especially the unwanted ones about murder, rape etc are actually pure o. I've suffered from it and i had no idea until i started researching it. It's such a huge part of mental illness but it's avoided and not talked about. If you have it, or just have unwanted intrusive thoughts, you are NOT alone it's more common than you think, you are NOT a bad person, in fact you are a good person because it is what you DON'T want to do. It is not your fault and it is not what you want. Don't blame yourself, or feel guilt or shame (i know it's hard). And the only thing you can do is ignore the thoughts, don't fight them, that makes it worse. Just let them be and ignore them
the one about cancer tho. that makes me feel sad, i have a friend who sometimes wishes that she could just leave so her family would care about her and regret that they didn't give her much love. this hurts.
I think this is the same reason why I'm on a destructive path of anger right now cos it feels like my fam and parents wont accept me for being gay cos they ask me to get married ,have kids and a gf and I'm only 20 .
People have really no idea how important it is to cultivate your own thought processes! Thoughts are the basis for every word, deed an habit and in the end your character!
I wish we lived in a society that prioritized mental health and normalized seeking help. These people need support! Just know that you are loved and are never alone in this world.
To all the people who have thoughts similar, please take your time to read this. It will help you. Unwanted intrusive thoughts are stuck thoughts that cause great distress. They seem to come from out of nowhere, arrive with a whoosh, and cause a great deal of anxiety. The content of unwanted intrusive thoughts often focuses on sexual or violent or socially unacceptable images. People who experience unwanted intrusive thoughts are afraid that they might commit the acts they picture in their mind. They also fear that the thoughts mean something terrible about them. Some unwanted intrusive thoughts consist of repetitive doubts about relationships, decisions small and large, sexual orientation or identity, intrusions of thoughts about safety, religion, death or worries about questions that cannot be answered with certainty. Some are just weird thoughts that make no apparent sense. Unwanted Intrusive thoughts can be very explicit, and many people are ashamed and worried about them, and therefore keep them secret. Anyone can experience intrusive thoughts. More than 6 million people in the United States may experience them. Many more people may not report them to their doctors or therapists. Intrusive thoughts aren't always the result of an underlying condition.
I’ve fantasied about loss and grief before. Sometimes it’s just to feel something and cry. Dealing with depression theres been times were I feel nothing but then fantasising about a death of a love one makes me feel upset and cry. Even though being upset isn’t fun or great sometimes it’s much better than feeling nothing
I fantasise about death, loss, abuse and such also mainly because I’m constantly depressed but have no reason to be. I don’t accept other people’s comfort because I feel selfish when I have this wonderful life but always feel so sad. I need a reason
in a way, it is comforting for me that there are other people fantasizing about their own death and suffering, I do that a lot too, in fact, I used to fantasize that I got cancer and needed a leg amputation. a year later I ended up getting diagnosed with leukemia. now, I am clean, and I feel ashamed for having that particular fantasy, even though no one except for the people reading this know about it. for me, those fantasy's come from feeling unnoticed, unimportant, basically just sadness and depression, I was depressed, and I feel like I'm starting to slip into the downward spiral again , but I am fighting it, so far..
I'm sorry for rambling, I hate to talk about my thoughts and feelings irl, so it helps for me to just drop it somewhere on the internet where no one knows me
I fantasise about killing myself to escape my struggles and I have stabbed myself several times. The one thing that held me back was not knowing how my family would react, and not wanting other people to look down on them because their son was suicidal, it's like being trapped in a circle of hell where escaping just hurts the ones closest to you.
I used to wish that bad things would happen to myself so my family and friends would show me some love and concern...until bad things happened to me and I discovered that it doesn't change anything, If the people around you have never been interested in you, it doesn't matter what happens, their disinterest will probably not change and you will only suffer twice as much, I say this from experience.
I can relate to the Fantasizing about cancer too..But in a different way..I just wished i was the one who got cancer instead of my mom 3 years ago , my mom said this to me when she was in the ER , she said "I wished for anything to happen except the fact that you get sick. Instead pass it to me." And recently this 2020 she died and i feel like im a curse to my family now.
This one was the most relatable one, by these type of videos I realize that I'm not the only one thinking this way. And fantasizing things, these are really nice and make me feel like I'm not alone with this type of thinking/mindset.
0:00 - 0:13 I relate to this too. I feel like a normal person like everyone else and I’m fine outside but when it comes to my thoughts I feel weird and out of place because I feel that no one would think the same as I do. I’m thankful that no one can read each other’s mind because you never know what that person may be thinking even when they look and act normal.
I fantasize about being found injured and alone in an alley at night by nice people that just want to help. It actually calms me down and helps me fall asleep.
This made me cry. I've been going through the worst time of my life for 4 years and, still, no one asks me how I am and I'm ignored. All of my friends walked away and no one in my family ever asks how I'm doing. I've been isolated, left alone, and deeply lonely for 4 years, while dealing with painful health conditions that no one has been able to help me with, and I'm now disabled. I can barely take care of myself now. My life has completely changed. I was an athlete and, almost overnight, I became disabled. I haven't been able to share anything with anyone because no one cares, even if it's just a simple, small statement about my day, not a long list of complaints. If I'd had just 1 person tell me I matter and show me that with their actions (not ignoring me after they say that), I wouldn't feel as hopeless as I do, but everyone's made it clear with their actions and words that they have their own lives and I'm not even a blip on their radar. They say "Oh, I'm sorry you're going through these things. If you EVER need someone to talk to or if you need something, PLEASE let me know!" and then ignore me after that. I think of killing myself almost every minute of every day, no matter what I'm doing. I try to keep a smile on my face, but am thinking about how I can keep myself from killing myself today. I don't know why I wrote all of this for strangers. It sounds terribly desperate, I know. If I had someone, anyone, in my life, I wouldn't even post something like this. Thank you for reading and take care of one another!
I don't have the wisest words for you. Still, I care. Your feelings reached my heart. I wish that you find someone who asks you about your day. Keep pushing because as you see, nobody in your life right now acts as compassionate to you as you deserve, so YOU need to be compassionate for yourself. This is what I tell myself and others in real life too even if it is harsh. Yes, you deserve care. If there is no other person caring right now, you need to care. Ask yourself about your day and write it down. Go to other people and say "HEY, did you know nobody asked me how I felt the past few weeks? That makes me very sad. You can make a difference for me just by asking me how I am. That would help me." Let them know, they can't read your mind. Often, people don't want to hurt others, they just aren't aware of how great the impact of their actions on other people really is. I don't know if anything I said really could help you, but I definitely wanted to share these thoughts with you bc they actually help me!
@@lilalizzard I've been wanting to reply since you wrote your lovely words, but my emotions take over and I can't write anything at that moment. You say to let them know, but I have told people - friends and family - that I'm alone, lonely, suicidal, feeling abandoned, etc., but nobody gets back to me. It's not like I wear out my welcome, which I could understand would make people want to avoid me, but it's a few words or a couple of sentences about me, and I ask about them, their life, their family, etc. These are people who post on FB "I would do anything for my family and friends!" and also things like the number to the suicide hotline and say "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here!," but when I've confided to them that about my physical pain, which led to me wanting to die because there's no relief from it and my quality of life is gone, there is no reply. Before this, I had a best friend, lots of close friends, and lots of acquaintances, and kept in touch with family. As soon as I got sick, everyone disappeared. That's what hurts. If I'd had one person who cared, I wouldn't feel this way, but to have no one for 4 years is a feeling I never thought I'd know. Thank you, again, for replying.
@@x-12x-361 Thank you so much for asking. My pain is 8 to 9/10, as it's been 24/7 for 4 years now. I appreciate you asking. How are you doing? I hope you're having a great day. I'm from the U.S., and you?
I fantasize about death, rape, loss, and grief myself. It feels like if something bad happens to me, people will see how much I struggle. How unhappy I am. I feel like they will be at my side no matter what, even if it's just out of pity. I fantasize about becoming a ghost, so I can watch my own funeral to see if people will actually cry after me. Not just my family, my friends too. It doesn't disturb me.
This may be bad, but my darkest fantasies is about multiply ways I could die or get hurt and how people would react to it..... I don’t think I should be thinking like that.
I think that way too and I wonder how people would react and if anyone would even recognize me or acted like they knew me. Idk why I think this way but I do
I am not used to being loved so every time when somebody says they love me it's difficult accepting recently somebody made me believe that he loves me and after few days he broke my heart. I feel like I am cursed.
I’m ngl but some of these are more or less the exact fantasies I have. I’m too insecure to say which ones but it’s true what some people are saying in this comment section. Yes it’s quite sad because I realize at the end of it all that I just want not someone random but someone specifically to notice me, to tell me they love me. To even just talk casually in a period where it’s hard to even see them face to face, it’s difficult. I almost tear up but I stop myself and I don’t really know why because I do want to cry. I want to let the pain out so that I can either move forward or just in general approach my situations better. What I find funny are those sexual fantasies where someone wants to be abused, choked, etc. because I find that experience potentially really intimate in so many ways. I imagine the act of sex not necessarily sacred just as personal as I’ve always wanted it to be with someone specifically. The only times I can imagine being in pain are when I think about the aftermath, where maybe just maybe, people will finally give me the attention I’ve wanted. Maybe I’m denying being an attention whore but I’ve even written a script about a scenario like that just to have a therapeutic process. It’s all really weird but whomever takes the time to read this comment, thank you and I hope you understand.
I fantasize that my attempt was successful, so people would finally understand how much they hurt me, and maybe that it would teach them to be more kind to others. I understand suicide is a selfish thing, and I feel bad for desiring to pass the pain to someone else.
Sometimes i fantasize about being terminally ill as well. Not because I want to die, but because I just have this feeling that my life isn’t going anywhere and the only thing left is the end. I tried to commit suicide and my heart actually stopped and when I was dying it was the only time I felt really at peace and content.
1:45 i can relate to that same thing. i lost my cousin in the route 91 harvest festival shooting in las vegas. that was one of the hardest months for me.
@Chicken Nuggets, i’ve gone through a lot, but i won’t let it break me. i’ve gotten a lot from counseling in helping me deal with this. things have definitely gotten better but not a day goes by where i don’t think about that night. thank you for your comment reply. it was very nice
@@benstoen8020 im glad you've gotten help..it must've been Traumatic. I couldn't imagine losing a family member or friend, so I'm really proud of you for not giving up
It's heartbreaking how people turn to romanticize the saddest and darkest thing to cope with their trauma. It hurts because I find myself doing that sometimes, and it came to a point where I don't find myself not as guilty as I should anymore.
"I Fantasize about having cancer" I'm such an attention seeker.. Once, i pretended having prostate cancer. It's scary but it was my only way to feel special and for people to notice and care for me. I was Happy even if it was just for a while. But guilt kills me every night.
I feel for the one about cancer and mom. Grown up with a mother who is an emotionless and feelingless person. Never asked how was school, work, or just a regular day. She never cared, loved or felt any emotions about me or any of my siblings. Now, when I have my own baby, she is the same with her granddaughter, it breaks my heart even more, then not having a mother, but a grandmother for my child.
the people who said they fantasized about bad things happening to them so people would care are so relatable, like it’s awful but i can’t even count the amount of times i wished i was physically ill so i’d be noticed, because I AM ill, it’s just that mental illness is invisible and no one seems to think they should worry. no one would tell someone who’s in a hospital bed to just get over it, or that “they’re not the only ones struggling”, or stuff like that, but people with a poor mental health get that pretty much on the daily.
i’m going to be extra honest here, i fantasize about death or being extremely injured because i want someone to care for me, to worry a lot about me, i just want someone to care and be there.
You don't need to be injured to have someone that for you or worries about you. Maybe it doesn't mean nothing for you bc you don't know me but I'm sure a lot of people care about you.
Hey you’re not alone in that feeling. I have thoughts like that almost every other day. We just gotta keep trying to remind ourselves that we are loved and cared for without having to go through some type of tragedy ❤️
Convitthoi I had those same exact thoughts a million times in high school and now and I guess that's what makes me sad . I would love to be openly gay and happy or be transgender so I can be a woman and have a bf but that's just my dark secret that my parents would die if I told them .. stay strong
@@vincentwaterson3480 it’s actually harder, or it feels like it is. Nearly every crush I’ve had is homophobic. Or every time you get a crush, they end up straight. Or you both mutually like each other, but cant go out because one of you hasn’t come out of the closet. Or parents don’t support it.
0:01: Sounds like Intrusive Thoughts. I read a tumble post that says somewhere along the lines of, "your intrusive thoughts don't define you. The first thought is unwilling. It's the 2nd thought that you actually mean." For example: 1st thought: "I want to break my dog's bones." But, then you're actual thoughts jump in, "No, I don't. I love my dog, I could never hurt him." This helped me tremendously, knowing that those intrusive thoughts weren't actually what I wanted. If you don't act on your actions, you're fine! ----------------------- 3:30 - I feel maybe they're into CNC. There's a sub-reddit that is very welcoming and able to help you understand where your thoughts may be coming from. It almost got banned because people don't understand how it really works and how people (mostly women) need it to cope or feel like they're not alone. So, it's on Quarantine, so you will have to look it up on your computer.
My mum has cancer and trust me, you don't wanna have it. I get where this person is coming from but that is the last thing you should want for yourself or anybody else.
i just need to get this off my chest i guess- i often play and replay my own suicide happening in my head just as i would do it. but i mostly like to think about what my relatives would do, i think about their guilt for using me, or calling me names, or insulting my appearance. sometimes i just want to be seriously injured so i can feel like i’m worth the guilt they may feel.
I totally understand where you’re coming from, I’ve been neglected and abused by my family but at the same time, getting seriously hurt or attempting suicide won’t solve the issue you know, because even if they finally see how you need help, once it’s over they will again fall back into the same pattern of behavior. I feel like trying to move out and find your own place to call home, find people that will treat you right is the best. That’s what I’m attempting right now at least.
I relate to the very first one I have so much anger and hate and those are the only emotions I have failed to numb and I always see myself doing bad things to people to make them feel what I feel especially if they've provoked me too many times
I thought everyone fantasized about having cancer???? Like why wouldn't you want to be showered with gifts and love every day, it's worth dying for (in my head)
The person who fantasized about having cancer so their mother could hug them... that’s horrible :(
It’s horrible but it’s so relatable 😞
I haven’t hugged my mother in about 5 years now and I know people who have parents that consider their existence a burden. Very sad
HOLY HOLY!!! I can proudly say that I have the two HOTTEST women on this planet as MY GIRLFRIENDS! I am the unprettiest UA-camr ever, but they love me for what's inside! Thanks for listening alex
Art Space I’m so sorry about that 😔
@@AxxLAfriku Du hier! Omg hahah
I fantasize about my mom loving me-
Pillows don't get the credit they deserve. They are literally a shoulder to lean on.
Pillows really go through a lot. Imagine if they could talk.
Stuffed animals too, my Hegde hog plushie has seen some stuff
I literally talk to a teddy bear and I call her Bearnetta. Yeah... and I’m 20 mind you...
I literally bought a pillow during covid-19 so that I can feel comforted
They’re also your first kiss...
remember you are NOT your intrusive thoughts and/or dreams. if u know they dont represent who u truly sre and what u believe in, dont worry ab it too much.
Who are you if not your inner thoughts and dreams tho? Let's be real
Pedro Soares intrusive thoughts should not be taken seriously, you have millions of thoughts floating around everyday, but you don’t have to act upon every thought
Thanks
Pedro Soares you’re your soul, just existing in the universe. Your mind creates a whole world of who you perceive yourself and others as but we forget that we’re all parts of the universe in different forms and have the same thing at the core, those are just mine and some others beliefs
@@Pedro.Soares true... I wonder about it too
That person who talks to the pillow just reminded me of the quote “It was a hot sunny day, but the pillow could predict it will rain at night.”
Where is that quote from. It would be cool to sample if it was recorded.
Commander1SUV it’s by saumya sinha:)
@Uri Leppard no one cares kid
gus V So what if nobody cares? Not everyone just comments for attention
@@identity2257 hey just because you don't get the quote it doesnt mean you have to act like an ass
This just gave me the words to describe how I was feeling 6 years ago. I wasn’t suicidal, I fantasized about being dead to see how others may have reacted to it.
I think about that too, but then I realize I’ll never know if I’m dead.
Me too. I sometimes fantasize that I’ll go out saving someone else just to know I did something with my life and that I made an impact.
I don't know if I am suicidal because I am way too scared to do it but if I could chose I'd choose death over life to end it this constant pain, I feel this. I am pretty much depressed. Ever since I was 7 I've been thinking of what people will do if I die. Will people finally care? Will people finally love me? Will I finally be appreciated? Last year and the beginning of this year, every single day when I was going home I would always think about me dying young and imagining people's reactions. I still imagine me dying every single day but not to that extended.
@@shijutu same here . Dont worry you're not alone. All I can say is try to make your life better .. it will be hard to stop thinking about death but we have to be strong
same here, i just want someone to realize how hurt i actually am
i fantasize about having a serious illness just so someone could see how much i struggle internally...
girl r u alright?
I've been there...
Relatable
Honestly I wish I couldn’t relate ...
Sorry
I fantasize about things like death, rape, loss and grief too. I understand where she's coming from. The desir to be seem, to be watched and cared about. Having "real" reasons for our pain instead of "weak" one. It's relatable in so many level, and the guilt that comes after that eat you because you feel like you're a bad person for ever thinking that way.
Is there like a Meaning behind those fantasies you’ve mentioned cause I well have this fantasy
same here, i always fantasize about these things, i can only fall asleep if i think about things like that, i do feel bad tho bc there are people out there who really have suffered / suffer from these things but i j cant stop these thoughts
@@luvbug1237 Hm, in my opinion, it's because we almost always lessen our experiences, our pains. We put sort of degrees to it, and when we think it's not enough, it hurt us ever more. Because why would people care if that problems in not as important as someone who has been raped, or lost a family member? So we fantasize about loss and death and all of those stuffs. But most importantly we fantasize the reaction, the idea that if we go through those sort of pain then our pain will finally matters otherwise it won't, it doesn't. But, the trick is to understand that we do not need to go though experience as these one, after all if people didn't care of your pain before that, for the pain that we degree as "weak" then why are they even on my life? Because they are not such pain that is more acceptable than anothers.
me too
I always think about these as something to fall asleep too, I thought i was crazy or a bad person for thinking these things.
My knee jerk reaction was to say “these are maddd,” but after taking a step back, most of these are relatable on some scale. People either want help, want to help, or want to feel loved.
Miguel Hernandez I’ve seen you reply with these same insensitive sentiments on multiple comments now but saying they need a “violent reality check” really takes the cake. I hope that you find peace within yourself, stop going out of your way to attack others and make better use of your time in the future.
The talking to pillows felt so relatable even though I haven't done the exact same thing. I feel as if I've had the same feelings eat away at me
relatable? these are weird and disturbing af if this is the kind of stuff you relate to you need help as well
@@zwebackshyper half of these are literally the result of having no one to love or who shows love to you. Only a couple are problematic to others. That's why it's relatable to others. Many of these sorts of people do seek help, but that doesn't magically make the right people appear in their lives
zwebackshyper well people can't help how they feel, what matters is that they don't act on their urges
To the person who thinks about hurting people...
Although your thoughts are terrifying, the fact that you’re concerned and afraid of hurting people, shows that you’re experiencing normal and rational emotions. This is your silver lining, my friend... You’re still a normal and sound minded person.
I know it may feel as though you can’t reach out for help, but scheduling an appointment would probably require just as much courage as it took for you to send in your confession.
I wish only the best for you.
Right I get the same feelings my therapist told me that it’s because you’re afraid of doing those things
Yes or he could just be curious. Like a part of us all want to be the Disney villain for a day until we remember that hurting anything sentient intentionally is morally wrong in all ways - compassion and empathy aswell as basic morals is deep rooted in our subconscious just like survival
un known me too I almost killed myself because I was afraid of hurting my nephew
We just have to remember that our thoughts don’t define us, but our actions will.
that type of thinking is definitely not normal nor rational. but i agree with everything else you said :)
Every day for about 3-4hrs, I fantasize about living a life that I wish I had. I wish I could stop but I just can't, it makes me very happy living in that world.
Ahh me too eyy . Everyday. Gosh it's so perfect in that world
Sameeee
That's the perfect world. I wish I could stop fantasizing.
your comment is already 2 months old but i want to ask you if you have ever heard of maladaptive daydreaming
maybe you can identify with this
i do this myself as well and i think i have finally found a name for it
@@grim5s895 Wow. I did read and research about it. It seems pretty interesting. Looks like a symptom of OCDs
"I keep replaying the day i let my kid go to the concert with his friends. I wish I had gone with him I wish I had forced his friends mom to go with him I wish he had never bought the tickets I wish he was not standing in the spot where he was. I wish the shooter was short the moment he was seen with the gun I wish there was no guns sales."
This one got me the most. I couldn't imagine going through something like that with one of my siblings or future kids. It's heartbreaking
Yeah me too
lmao what a snowflake you dont even have kids yet
@@identity2257 LMAOO WHY U SO PRESSED- we're allowed too sympathize with the vicim and their parents.. we're allowed too worry about our future children..it doesn't matter if we have kids or not..I really don't know why ur calling us snowflakes
@@AisforArtemis no one cares kid
@@identity2257 then why did u comment 💀 u obviously care then
So I actually was really surprised when I watched this to find that mine was read out loud. I won’t say which one it was, but hearing these strangers’ responses and even reading some of these comments made me cry and have brought me such comfort. Like this is the kind of stuff you never feel like you can tell people. This kind of discussion is so important. What you guys do is so important.
❤❤❤
@@lolokikok3368 I have a hunch for which one it is coz I felt the same way after I heard one
Aye bro you better not be one of those weirdo serial killer ones
@@endedera9758 DUDE I-
@@endedera9758 WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT-
Reminder: you don’t need to be sick to be loved. If someone isn’t capable of showing you affection, it’s not your fault.
Thanks for saying this...
@@skyza2777 i'd hug you if i met you
this.
Idk I seem to be the common denominator.
I wish I could believe in that. I feel like I will only be loved when I'm dead.
Who else hates having a secret that can absolutely destroy them??
@@RealRad10 you are literally replying to everyone, get a life lmao
Rocky Rider why tear someone down there’s no need for that
Clerique Ward is it illegal??
The Warhammer Guy explain how that is tearing someone down lmao calm down mate
Rocky Rider Its a comment section nobody needs your permission babygirl
What the dude says at 4:03 is really accurate. I also fantasise about loss, rape, grief etc and it's a really dark secret that I find really hard to talk about since it makes you seem like a crazy person. It really just comes from a place of wanting to be loved and cared for, especially since tragedy is usually the thing that draws care and attention from others. People who fantasise about such scenarios are just lacking and craving love in their real lives.
I’m at also the same way. I didn’t realize other people did this but it’s nice and sad to know I’m not the only one
i relate to you . but it's not the same in real world . nobody saves you , you gotta deal with it all your own . it feels as if they will care atleast in my fantasies
i thought i was the only one. when I feel at my most low I do this too
@@maviyakounain649 agreed
@@chikenleg9549 really hits hard for me especially since I have maladaptive daydreaming
I fantasized about getting in a car accident, being in a coma, becoming paralyzed, becoming seriously ill... I wanted pity, I wanted people to care about me, I wanted to have someone, anyone worry about me.
I care about you random stranger. I hope your scars heal soon.
@@user-youdontknowme Thank you, random stranger. It means a lot to me 🥺
i hope that you get better.
@@selmitoons thank you 😊 I am taking medication now and it's been helpful so far
@@myheartwillstopinjoy8142 It's probably not the best idea, but imma do say it anyways. I kindof fantasized the same things, I wanted to be in pain, to be sick, so that others would see and care about me. And I got something along the lines of a psychosomatic disorder at a young age. But the thing is, I do suffer, every day, every night, but no one really sees my suffering. They don't understand, and they don't really care either. And you'd probably know, psychosomatic pain is very real, yet it doesn't show even if a doctor checks you. Thus, I got the suffering part, but not the rest of my wish. I may still fantasize that. But what I'm trying to say is, don't wish for suffering, cz you'll definitely get it, but in the worst way possible. And then there will just be more suffering than yesterday. He who does not care about you when you're not suffering wouldn't really care when you're suffering either.
I really felt the pillow one. It's hard for me to imagine someone loving me romantically, and it's hard for me to love someone also. My logic is that I can't say I love someone because I can't even say it about myself.
Haha🙋♀️
Same here 🤣😢🥺
I'm yet trying to love myself and be happy
Selflove may help
My philosophy of when going into a relationship is that the person you are with shouldn't make you happy. They should make you happier. Otherwise, you become completely dependent on that person and lose self-worth. Learn to make yourself happy and find worth in yourself. Then you will find the right person.
just rember you are loved :)
I feel that. I really feel this.
I felt this on a personal level. I swear if this isn't me
I sometimes fantasize about having a burnout or a mental breakdown just so I don't have to take the step of actually confessing to someone that I'm in pain and struggling with life.
But I always manage to rest peacefully with the fact that I could never actually physically harm myself because I still do have some love and care for myself.
This year I had burnout and I was just so tired and I had a bunch of other feelings and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know what it was but it was horrible I had nightmares I was always stressed and a bunch of other stuff. I tried telling my parents many times but they never really understood that I wasn’t ok because I kind of hid it a little. But one time my brother asked if I was ok and I just started crying a bunch and I started laughing and crying and I couldn’t breath and it was kinda relieving because they could finally actually see that I was struggling with and that I was actually struggling
You know why I don't harm myself? Because I don't have an excuse to give to my mother.
literally same I want people like us to like make a group chat and talk about that sort of stuff Because Im pretty sure therapy doesn’t work
Believe me it's not worth hurting yourself, someone who has been living with self-harm for 9 years tells you this, and surprisingly people don't care about you even if they are physically seeing you're hurting yourself, I say it from my personal experience, I know it's sad, but I never heard someone ask me if I was ok, not even now, So yeah even if people see that you are literally screaming for help they don't do anything.
Sorry for my English.
This video makes me feel better about my secrets. So dark.
Same here 👍🏻🔥✨
Luck you
Same man.
For real though 🤣
None of these are as dark as Armie Hammer's fantasies.
i fantasize about being in relationship to know what it’s like to be in love bc i know i will never fall in love someone but if i did i know i’ll get bored of them and want to leave them…
I totally understand.
I told my best friend this EXACT same statement weeks ago. He laughed it off and was trying to cheer me up because I was "on a downer". I wasn't, I still feel that way. Never been in a relationship; but I feel I know myself too well and that feeling of love once I have felt it will bore me to death.
22 here and never fell in love... I don't think I'm attractive enough for someone to fall in love with me either and I have a hard time making emotional connection with ppl around me...
Like I'll cry watching bambi, but I don't feel anything when my friend tell me her grandma who i met passed away or when my mom friend who I saw very often died.
I think something is wrong with me...
Esther same sometimes i feel like i can't feel anything for anyone. i had a boyfriend for over 2 years and i still don't think i was actually in love cause that "feeling" was so short and not like idk intense? and i feel like i just physically can't feel it and no one can really feel anything for me either and really care for me in a romantic way. and i don't tell it anyone because i know they'll say "oh you're just 20 you'll experience it" but i genuinely feel like i won't and i can't but on the other hand i want it so bad and really need someone to just hug to and to have someone that would actually care about me
I getchu
Most of these secrets stem from feelings of unworthiness. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are worth a fight, sacrifice, love and everything else you desire. If the people around you make you feel like your not, get away as soon as possible. Even if it’s your mother. You don’t want those voices to become your own.
what if ur a kid or teen? dont have as much freedom to get away
Thankyou for saying this...
@@samuel-ux4gy Keep reminding yourself that you're enough. It's tough, I know because I believed in myself when I had no choice except practicing self-love/faith. It's gonna get better. I'm not really far but I'm trying. Same with every individual out there, you don't have to get results immediately but you can always try. You can always make efforts to love and improve yourself. Ofcourse, take professional help if you feel you need to(try your best even if you're under someone's care).
@@puneetkaur9875🙏🙏🙏
You're pretty
Turns out that my fantasies aren't that bad
Literally nobody asked
Arthi .M.P no one asked for your comment either
Arthi .M.P I asked :)
Arthi .M.P technically no one asked for anything to be said. no one asked for u to say “literally no one asked”. no one needs consent from anyone to say something
@@saveen9266 no one asked for your reply kid
I really don’t think I’m suicidal, but sometimes I fantasize about killing myself and leaving behind notes to my siblings about how their harsh treatment affected me. I guess I want them to realize what they’re doing or smth like that…
Hey... Thinking about suicide or thinking about dying are both suicidal thoughts, even if you have no actual plans. I strongly recommend you reach out to someone, Karina.
how heartbreaking. among us are people who have been so deprived of patient, nurturing and attentive care to the point where they want to experience trauma so that they may be loved afterwards. i hope they find the healing they need & deserve. 🖤
AMONG US!!!!!1!2!1!1! SUS!!1!1!1!1! ITS RED VOTE RED!!!1!1!1!1!!
Is it really that sad? I’ve been like that for as long as I can remember.
amogus
jubilee: secret fantasies
people with maladaptive daydreaming: honey at this point nothing can surprise me
SAME omg
facts
I never knew what maladaptive dreaming was until I read this comment a month ago. Then I researched it and realised I had it. I have it still but more under control. Thanks.
That was my first thought when I saw the title of the video-- hoping that this will bring more awareness about maladaptive daydreaming.
literally
I fantasise about going to a mental hospital so people can finally see my struggle which I hide so well. I hide it so much, that no one would ever expect what i really think to come from me. I am not myself. But I dont know if I wish I could be my true self?
same...
Why is this relatable?
This used to be me. Then I got really mentally ill and actually went to one for 4 months. 0/100 would not recommend, it is overly romanticized and not at all like you probably expect it to be. I still fantasize about it to this day, but like you said, it’s not because you/I actually want to be in one, it’s because we want others to realize how bad we are struggling.
I really want to become friends with the guy in the blue shirt and cap
I know this is off topic, but you’re so beautiful!
read the last word you wrote
@@petrauhrakova girl says you
I fantasize about finally not regretting my existence and living without overthinking myself into sadness or feeling like a burden
Hey there, I hope you are fine rn. You have the willpower to do it, don't sell yourself short and take action to do what you need to do to reach that state of well-being
the shooter one gave me so much chills. guilt for something you didn’t know you could prevent before hand is the worse.
It's sad that I relate to some of them because I fantasize about bad things happening to me so that at least someone would care
I'm sorry
Just wanted to get it out
Nice u did
this is late but same i have fantasies about hurting myself or someone hurting me so that someone would care for me
@@sarahdodd4633Me too.
We humans are so much more complex than we will ever understand...
I'm in a good mood
UA-cam: i'm gonna end this man all career
Idkr i get so depressed watching these I don’t know why I keep watching them 😂😂
Ikr man. Same
Literally as I’m watching I’m like “do I really feel like being depressed rn?”
I can really relate to some of these, I also sometimes fantasize/wish bad things would happen to me so that someone would care
JuliePP k
i hope u r doing okay now 🥺❤️
YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE SPECIAL NO MATTER WHAT ❤️
Thanks i am not the only one
SAME
I’m crying because I feel so connected to everyone in this video. I feel less alone. Even about that guy saying “it takes something bad to happen in your life to make people notice you or notice you’re hurting”. I’ve struggled with this for 12 years. I struggle with feeling seen and heard. It’s hard. But thanks for understanding where that person was coming from and in turn making me feel less alone.
If mental conditions and states like being homicidal, pedophilic, or having rape urges weren’t so stigmatized, people would be able to get treatment and there would be far less abuse in the world
Sometimes, even if you know how to help yourself, you still can’t help yourself
There is a big difference between a fantasy and a desire.
Acctually not that big of a difference. Cause' they all desire these things too, that's why they fantasize in the first place.
@@answers_for_all4379 That's not entirely true.
@@cheems408 elaborate please...
@@answers_for_all4379 A desire is a fantasy that you want to happen. But you can have fantasies about things you DON'T want to happen. These types of fantasies are usually called "intrusive thoughts" and are unwanted and not based on desire. For example, some people have intrusive thoughts of hurting others, but they are not psychopaths as their intrusive thoughts make them feel guilty and awful, and though they would never act upon them they fear their thoughts.
Meanwhile, there might be someone who has violent fantasies that is NOT horrified by said fantasies and enjoys fantasizing about them.
@@fabplays6559
A lot of people, including myself experience desires of doing something or being in some type of situation etc ...but they dont acctualy want that to happen cuz of who knows what reason maybe they think they acctually wouldn't be able to handle it. Its the same with fantasies. The only difference I see between fantasy and a desire is that fantasy is this whole type of situation you created in your head, which is what? Its based on your desires.
The poor person who lost their son 😭😭😭 my heart aches for you and your loss as a parent, myself.
I see some comments that talk about how we are not our intrusive thoughts & it's important to cultivate our thought processes but no solutions, so here's what helped me. You can work on changing your thoughts. I used to have really negative self-talk but I started adding in a second "voice" to counteract those. In the moments I was caught beating myself up, that voice made sure I knew those weren't kind things to say & instead used loving words to refer to myself. It helped immensely. It also works when you have thoughts about hurting others, tragedies, etc. Just start implementing a dialogue in your head that knows it's not something you really want to happen & processes why you have that thought to begin with, ie past trauma or events. We're all deserving of love; the first steps come from within ❤️
what lol
Day 6 of asking Jubilee to do a - ‘do all Karen’s think the same?’
Day 5 of me not caring
Rocky Rider 😂
Why would people named Karen have anything in common except, perhaps, their generation?
@@TMcB23 they are referring to the Karen personality
Shen Bapiro And how can that be defined?
Plot twist: those are jubilee team fantasies.
Oppssyy
I always feel so messed up for fantasizing about certain things because I know people have suffered because of it and that its a problem, but I just can’t help myself from dreaming about too and stuff. Uhhh
That pillow one hit me close to home. Thats how i feel everyday of my life
Me to...
I fantasize about passing out, or having a seizure so that my damage would be visible.
Sometimes I fantasize about collapsing at school or just something terrible happening to me in public just so someone can notice me struggling or just being worried about me, sometimes I even imagine me making myself collapse by overdosing...
same
There really needs to be more education and knowledge about OCD specifically pure o and intrusive thoughts. Many of these "fantasies" especially the unwanted ones about murder, rape etc are actually pure o. I've suffered from it and i had no idea until i started researching it. It's such a huge part of mental illness but it's avoided and not talked about.
If you have it, or just have unwanted intrusive thoughts, you are NOT alone it's more common than you think, you are NOT a bad person, in fact you are a good person because it is what you DON'T want to do. It is not your fault and it is not what you want. Don't blame yourself, or feel guilt or shame (i know it's hard).
And the only thing you can do is ignore the thoughts, don't fight them, that makes it worse. Just let them be and ignore them
ive never been raped or abused but i fantasize about that stuff
yes!! i wish more people would recognize the fact that they DONT want to act on these thoughts can be a form of ocd
thank you......for ur valuable words.....which made me feel better💜
.
@@beyoncebop198 same but while fantasizing it feels normal but afterwards i feel disguster or thought why i think about that
okay but who hasn't fantasised about one of their teachers
JoeyIsKing me
@M. Fadli Rabbani yes baby, if you're hot consider being my prof!
Most people wouldn't fantasise about people 2x+ their age lol.
That said, I do sometimes
I haven't
i understand that you cannot control what you fantasise about but I NEVERRRR do that. But I will not judge you because my mind is pretty odd lmao.
a random person who likes this will have a massive glowup
thank you.
Where is it?
If you are bored stop begging for likes ffs
I don’t like this comment
I wish having a massive glowup was as easy as pushing the like button:):(
the one about cancer tho. that makes me feel sad, i have a friend who sometimes wishes that she could just leave so her family would care about her and regret that they didn't give her much love. this hurts.
That concert one hit, got tears in my eyes
Me too
I fantasize that my mom and friends would accept me for being a lesbian, and that I would stop hating myself for it
Yup...same here (bisexual) and I also wish that I would stop hating myself for it. Unfortunately it's easier said than done...!😢
OVI G yeah, sometimes I try to be straight and it doesn’t work
@@fulmae755 of course not. That would never work.
I accept you! If you ever feel like someone doesn’t love you know I do. I know I’m a stranger but I still care. I hope you’re doing well. :)
I think this is the same reason why I'm on a destructive path of anger right now cos it feels like my fam and parents wont accept me for being gay cos they ask me to get married ,have kids and a gf and I'm only 20 .
People have really no idea how important it is to cultivate your own thought processes! Thoughts are the basis for every word, deed an habit and in the end your character!
I wish we lived in a society that prioritized mental health and normalized seeking help. These people need support! Just know that you are loved and are never alone in this world.
I mean that's a damn lie but nice sentiment I guess.
To all the people who have thoughts similar, please take your time to read this. It will help you. Unwanted intrusive thoughts are stuck thoughts that cause great distress. They seem to come from out of nowhere, arrive with a whoosh, and cause a great deal of anxiety. The content of unwanted intrusive thoughts often focuses on sexual or violent or socially unacceptable images. People who experience unwanted intrusive thoughts are afraid that they might commit the acts they picture in their mind. They also fear that the thoughts mean something terrible about them. Some unwanted intrusive thoughts consist of repetitive doubts about relationships, decisions small and large, sexual orientation or identity, intrusions of thoughts about safety, religion, death or worries about questions that cannot be answered with certainty. Some are just weird thoughts that make no apparent sense. Unwanted Intrusive thoughts can be very explicit, and many people are ashamed and worried about them, and therefore keep them secret. Anyone can experience intrusive thoughts. More than 6 million people in the United States may experience them. Many more people may not report them to their doctors or therapists. Intrusive thoughts aren't always the result of an underlying condition.
I’ve fantasied about loss and grief before. Sometimes it’s just to feel something and cry. Dealing with depression theres been times were I feel nothing but then fantasising about a death of a love one makes me feel upset and cry. Even though being upset isn’t fun or great sometimes it’s much better than feeling nothing
I fantasise about death, loss, abuse and such also mainly because I’m constantly depressed but have no reason to be. I don’t accept other people’s comfort because I feel selfish when I have this wonderful life but always feel so sad. I need a reason
👌
Damn I expected some kinda naughty dirty secrets typa thing but now I’m just sad
The one of the mom and her son that was shot gave me chills .. so sad
How do you know it was a mum?
@@evanf309 good point , probably because he / she said : '' I wish i forced his friend's Mom ''
Robin guess it could be either, for some reason I thought it as the dad, maybe because a man was reading it out?
@@evanf309 we can't really know it's just our brain making assumptions
in a way, it is comforting for me that there are other people fantasizing about their own death and suffering, I do that a lot too, in fact, I used to fantasize that I got cancer and needed a leg amputation. a year later I ended up getting diagnosed with leukemia. now, I am clean, and I feel ashamed for having that particular fantasy, even though no one except for the people reading this know about it.
for me, those fantasy's come from feeling unnoticed, unimportant, basically just sadness and depression, I was depressed, and I feel like I'm starting to slip into the downward spiral again , but I am fighting it, so far..
I'm sorry for rambling, I hate to talk about my thoughts and feelings irl, so it helps for me to just drop it somewhere on the internet where no one knows me
I fantasise about killing myself to escape my struggles and I have stabbed myself several times. The one thing that held me back was not knowing how my family would react, and not wanting other people to look down on them because their son was suicidal, it's like being trapped in a circle of hell where escaping just hurts the ones closest to you.
Sometimes I fantasize about just disappearing or falling asleep forever not dying but just disappearing
I used to wish that bad things would happen to myself so my family and friends would show me some love and concern...until bad things happened to me and I discovered that it doesn't change anything, If the people around you have never been interested in you, it doesn't matter what happens, their disinterest will probably not change and you will only suffer twice as much, I say this from experience.
People need more education on intrusive thoughts. They're more common than most know.
I can relate to the Fantasizing about cancer too..But in a different way..I just wished i was the one who got cancer instead of my mom 3 years ago , my mom said this to me when she was in the ER , she said "I wished for anything to happen except the fact that you get sick. Instead pass it to me." And recently this 2020 she died and i feel like im a curse to my family now.
I don't think ur mom intended for u to feel that way, you're not a curse.
It's not your fault & wishes aren't real.
This one was the most relatable one, by these type of videos I realize that I'm not the only one thinking this way. And fantasizing things, these are really nice and make me feel like I'm not alone with this type of thinking/mindset.
Me: About to fall asleep
Jubilee: 👁👄👁
Me not caring or asking 👁👄👁
Rocky Rider no❤️
@@RealRad10 get out
inchara k lmao
@@RealRad10 your mother must of not cared about you so composite by insulting people in youtube comments continuously
0:00 - 0:13 I relate to this too. I feel like a normal person like everyone else and I’m fine outside but when it comes to my thoughts I feel weird and out of place because I feel that no one would think the same as I do. I’m thankful that no one can read each other’s mind because you never know what that person may be thinking even when they look and act normal.
I fantasize about being found injured and alone in an alley at night by nice people that just want to help. It actually calms me down and helps me fall asleep.
I feel the same way
This made me cry. I've been going through the worst time of my life for 4 years and, still, no one asks me how I am and I'm ignored. All of my friends walked away and no one in my family ever asks how I'm doing. I've been isolated, left alone, and deeply lonely for 4 years, while dealing with painful health conditions that no one has been able to help me with, and I'm now disabled. I can barely take care of myself now. My life has completely changed. I was an athlete and, almost overnight, I became disabled. I haven't been able to share anything with anyone because no one cares, even if it's just a simple, small statement about my day, not a long list of complaints. If I'd had just 1 person tell me I matter and show me that with their actions (not ignoring me after they say that), I wouldn't feel as hopeless as I do, but everyone's made it clear with their actions and words that they have their own lives and I'm not even a blip on their radar. They say "Oh, I'm sorry you're going through these things. If you EVER need someone to talk to or if you need something, PLEASE let me know!" and then ignore me after that. I think of killing myself almost every minute of every day, no matter what I'm doing. I try to keep a smile on my face, but am thinking about how I can keep myself from killing myself today. I don't know why I wrote all of this for strangers. It sounds terribly desperate, I know. If I had someone, anyone, in my life, I wouldn't even post something like this. Thank you for reading and take care of one another!
I don't have the wisest words for you. Still, I care. Your feelings reached my heart. I wish that you find someone who asks you about your day. Keep pushing because as you see, nobody in your life right now acts as compassionate to you as you deserve, so YOU need to be compassionate for yourself. This is what I tell myself and others in real life too even if it is harsh. Yes, you deserve care. If there is no other person caring right now, you need to care. Ask yourself about your day and write it down. Go to other people and say "HEY, did you know nobody asked me how I felt the past few weeks? That makes me very sad. You can make a difference for me just by asking me how I am. That would help me." Let them know, they can't read your mind. Often, people don't want to hurt others, they just aren't aware of how great the impact of their actions on other people really is.
I don't know if anything I said really could help you, but I definitely wanted to share these thoughts with you bc they actually help me!
hey andrea💕, how are you feeling today ? where are you from?
@@lilalizzard I've been wanting to reply since you wrote your lovely words, but my emotions take over and I can't write anything at that moment. You say to let them know, but I have told people - friends and family - that I'm alone, lonely, suicidal, feeling abandoned, etc., but nobody gets back to me. It's not like I wear out my welcome, which I could understand would make people want to avoid me, but it's a few words or a couple of sentences about me, and I ask about them, their life, their family, etc. These are people who post on FB "I would do anything for my family and friends!" and also things like the number to the suicide hotline and say "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here!," but when I've confided to them that about my physical pain, which led to me wanting to die because there's no relief from it and my quality of life is gone, there is no reply. Before this, I had a best friend, lots of close friends, and lots of acquaintances, and kept in touch with family. As soon as I got sick, everyone disappeared. That's what hurts. If I'd had one person who cared, I wouldn't feel this way, but to have no one for 4 years is a feeling I never thought I'd know. Thank you, again, for replying.
@@x-12x-361 Thank you so much for asking. My pain is 8 to 9/10, as it's been 24/7 for 4 years now. I appreciate you asking. How are you doing? I hope you're having a great day. I'm from the U.S., and you?
@@Andrea-xs4ny Thank you for your reply. I wish you all the best. It really sucks that the people in your life don't think of you!!!!
I still think the people reading the confessions are the ones making them
I fantasize about death, rape, loss, and grief myself. It feels like if something bad happens to me, people will see how much I struggle. How unhappy I am. I feel like they will be at my side no matter what, even if it's just out of pity. I fantasize about becoming a ghost, so I can watch my own funeral to see if people will actually cry after me. Not just my family, my friends too. It doesn't disturb me.
This may be bad, but my darkest fantasies is about multiply ways I could die or get hurt and how people would react to it..... I don’t think I should be thinking like that.
I think that way too and I wonder how people would react and if anyone would even recognize me or acted like they knew me. Idk why I think this way but I do
No one:
That one guy: i wish to torture people
The Joker as entered the chat
Real life psycho 😨
more like Dexter Morgan.
HAS
No One Cares About It or it could just be ocd
Come on don't make a joke about this
I fantasize about having a terminal illness so my parents would cherish me more too.....is that not normal?
I am not used to being loved so every time when somebody says they love me it's difficult accepting recently somebody made me believe that he loves me and after few days he broke my heart. I feel like I am cursed.
@@darthvader1793 dont worry , I've went through the same thing but the future will bring someone better in your life
I’m ngl but some of these are more or less the exact fantasies I have. I’m too insecure to say which ones but it’s true what some people are saying in this comment section. Yes it’s quite sad because I realize at the end of it all that I just want not someone random but someone specifically to notice me, to tell me they love me. To even just talk casually in a period where it’s hard to even see them face to face, it’s difficult. I almost tear up but I stop myself and I don’t really know why because I do want to cry. I want to let the pain out so that I can either move forward or just in general approach my situations better. What I find funny are those sexual fantasies where someone wants to be abused, choked, etc. because I find that experience potentially really intimate in so many ways. I imagine the act of sex not necessarily sacred just as personal as I’ve always wanted it to be with someone specifically. The only times I can imagine being in pain are when I think about the aftermath, where maybe just maybe, people will finally give me the attention I’ve wanted. Maybe I’m denying being an attention whore but I’ve even written a script about a scenario like that just to have a therapeutic process. It’s all really weird but whomever takes the time to read this comment, thank you and I hope you understand.
1:23 - 1:36
Anybody that feels that way?
Literally all the time
I fantasize that my attempt was successful, so people would finally understand how much they hurt me, and maybe that it would teach them to be more kind to others. I understand suicide is a selfish thing, and I feel bad for desiring to pass the pain to someone else.
Sometimes i fantasize about being terminally ill as well. Not because I want to die, but because I just have this feeling that my life isn’t going anywhere and the only thing left is the end. I tried to commit suicide and my heart actually stopped and when I was dying it was the only time I felt really at peace and content.
1:45 i can relate to that same thing. i lost my cousin in the route 91 harvest festival shooting in las vegas. that was one of the hardest months for me.
I'm so so sorry..I can't imagine the pain you have gone through
@Chicken Nuggets, i’ve gone through a lot, but i won’t let it break me. i’ve gotten a lot from counseling in helping me deal with this. things have definitely gotten better but not a day goes by where i don’t think about that night. thank you for your comment reply. it was very nice
@@benstoen8020 im glad you've gotten help..it must've been Traumatic. I couldn't imagine losing a family member or friend, so I'm really proud of you for not giving up
It's heartbreaking how people turn to romanticize the saddest and darkest thing to cope with their trauma. It hurts because I find myself doing that sometimes, and it came to a point where I don't find myself not as guilty as I should anymore.
aww the mother whos son died at a concert, I feel bad for her.
"I Fantasize about having cancer"
I'm such an attention seeker.. Once, i pretended having prostate cancer. It's scary but it was my only way to feel special and for people to notice and care for me. I was Happy even if it was just for a while. But guilt kills me every night.
Trust me, I understand. The guilt that I get from lying about some things keeps me up too.
Yea i fantasize being in indescribable pain and something tragic happens to me so I can feel the pain of what it would feel like
I feel for the one about cancer and mom.
Grown up with a mother who is an emotionless and feelingless person. Never asked how was school, work, or just a regular day. She never cared, loved or felt any emotions about me or any of my siblings.
Now, when I have my own baby, she is the same with her granddaughter, it breaks my heart even more, then not having a mother, but a grandmother for my child.
I’m sorry about that
May God bless you and your family
And daughter
I heard people have these intrusive thoughts often have OCD or anxiety
Yes. I have bad anxiety and the thought of me doing any of these makes me almost have a panic attack.
I fantasize about wanting to become an animal in a zoo because their lives seem so much easier and less stressful
why in a zoo, why not free animals ? animals in the wild
@@mxxxn because in the wild I could get eaten and looking for food can be hard but in a zoo I'll be protected and i'll get food
@@kore.o should I laugh or ...
@@kore.o Being a free raven in a suburban area seems like a cool thing tbh
Yh or a pet dog, no responsiblities, pressure, stress ect
"It appeals the male fantasy"
*Shows Ricardo Milos*
To the male fantacy
*moans*
Big funny i go hahaha at the moment
the people who said they fantasized about bad things happening to them so people would care are so relatable, like it’s awful but i can’t even count the amount of times i wished i was physically ill so i’d be noticed, because I AM ill, it’s just that mental illness is invisible and no one seems to think they should worry. no one would tell someone who’s in a hospital bed to just get over it, or that “they’re not the only ones struggling”, or stuff like that, but people with a poor mental health get that pretty much on the daily.
I fantasize about being a person with a tracing life story because I often feel like I don’t have a reason to be depressed
12 years ago I fantasize of becoming a doctor now I am surgeon.
Sooo good for uuu✨I do too. Hope I'll make it🤞
@@humphreyndeeri5705 you definitely will make it .
@@humphreyndeeri5705 we hope for good . And I wish you and your family have a good health and happiness.
@@neethisrineethi5183 Thank you, u too.
i’m going to be extra honest here, i fantasize about death or being extremely injured because i want someone to care for me, to worry a lot about me, i just want someone to care and be there.
You don't need to be injured to have someone that for you or worries about you.
Maybe it doesn't mean nothing for you bc you don't know me but I'm sure a lot of people care about you.
Hey you’re not alone in that feeling. I have thoughts like that almost every other day. We just gotta keep trying to remind ourselves that we are loved and cared for without having to go through some type of tragedy ❤️
Sometime I fantasize being a guy so I can ask my staight crush out. Then I feel so freaking pathetic.
Convitthoi I had those same exact thoughts a million times in high school and now and I guess that's what makes me sad . I would love to be openly gay and happy or be transgender so I can be a woman and have a bf but that's just my dark secret that my parents would die if I told them .. stay strong
Stay strong find someone that you truly feel like you trust. and be who you want. Because I love you and many others do too💖💖💖💖🤗
If you’re gay you can still be with a guy. It’s easier that way. I with I were a gay guy, but I’m not. I think it’s easier for them to get a guy
@@vincentwaterson3480 it’s actually harder, or it feels like it is. Nearly every crush I’ve had is homophobic. Or every time you get a crush, they end up straight. Or you both mutually like each other, but cant go out because one of you hasn’t come out of the closet. Or parents don’t support it.
me too. Ive always fantasized about having cancer or any untreatable sickness so people would show they care about me.
0:01: Sounds like Intrusive Thoughts. I read a tumble post that says somewhere along the lines of, "your intrusive thoughts don't define you. The first thought is unwilling. It's the 2nd thought that you actually mean."
For example:
1st thought: "I want to break my dog's bones."
But, then you're actual thoughts jump in, "No, I don't. I love my dog, I could never hurt him."
This helped me tremendously, knowing that those intrusive thoughts weren't actually what I wanted. If you don't act on your actions, you're fine!
-----------------------
3:30 - I feel maybe they're into CNC. There's a sub-reddit that is very welcoming and able to help you understand where your thoughts may be coming from. It almost got banned because people don't understand how it really works and how people (mostly women) need it to cope or feel like they're not alone. So, it's on Quarantine, so you will have to look it up on your computer.
Hey, may I ask which subreddit is this?
@@hoshi6696 r/rapekink
My mum has cancer and trust me, you don't wanna have it. I get where this person is coming from but that is the last thing you should want for yourself or anybody else.
i just need to get this off my chest i guess-
i often play and replay my own suicide happening in my head just as i would do it. but i mostly like to think about what my relatives would do, i think about their guilt for using me, or calling me names, or insulting my appearance. sometimes i just want to be seriously injured so i can feel like i’m worth the guilt they may feel.
I totally understand where you’re coming from, I’ve been neglected and abused by my family but at the same time, getting seriously hurt or attempting suicide won’t solve the issue you know, because even if they finally see how you need help, once it’s over they will again fall back into the same pattern of behavior. I feel like trying to move out and find your own place to call home, find people that will treat you right is the best. That’s what I’m attempting right now at least.
@@beforeelstho yeah, you’re right. and i’m sorry to hear that, i really hope you can get yourself into a comfortable situation, i believe in you
I relate to the very first one
I have so much anger and hate and those are the only emotions I have failed to numb and I always see myself doing bad things to people to make them feel what I feel especially if they've provoked me too many times
I thought everyone fantasized about having cancer???? Like why wouldn't you want to be showered with gifts and love every day, it's worth dying for (in my head)
sometimes i fantasize about getting stabbed, just to see people actually care about me.