4 social anxiety skills you need to start using now

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  • Опубліковано 10 лис 2022
  • Learn these 4 skills to feel more confident when you're socially anxious.
    Full video: • Social anxiety skills ...
    Learn more:
    - Social Anxiety Disorder explained for beginners: • Social Anxiety Disorde...
    - Top Social Anxiety Tips for Confidence: • Top Social Anxiety Tip...
    Connect with Ali:
    Discord ► / discord
    Twitter ► / alimattu​
    Facebook ► / thepsychshow​
    Instagram ► / alimattu​
    TikTok ► / alimattuphd
    Patreon ► / thepsychshow​
    Email ► ali@thepsychshow.com
    Website ► alimattu.com/​
    For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice. The information in this video was accurate as of the upload date, November 11, 2022.
    If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
    - call 9-8-8 in the United States or your country's emergency number: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
    - call the Lifeline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) in the United States or a global crisis hotlines: findahelpline.com/i/iasp
    - text START to 741-741 in the United States or visit www.crisistextline.org
    - go to your nearest hospital emergency room

КОМЕНТАРІ • 81

  • @freak4786
    @freak4786 11 місяців тому +279

    i have social anxiety and i dont mind complimenting people, my only issue is how to give follow up reponse. 😂

    • @ThisIsAnInactiveChannel
      @ThisIsAnInactiveChannel 8 місяців тому +81

      - "Hey, cool shoes"
      - "Thank you"
      - "..."

    • @repetitive781
      @repetitive781 8 місяців тому +16

      Ask them more about whatever it is you are complimenting them about 😁

    • @roshini7369
      @roshini7369 7 місяців тому +8

      I just wish there should be a world where people don't have to interact in real life. This virtual is comfortable for me.. I'm not ok with talking to ppl other except 3 or 4 persons

    • @roshini7369
      @roshini7369 7 місяців тому +2

      ​@@itsmeorwhatever627and what will you do after tht?...... How am I supposed to leave ? Isn't it rude

    • @JulianKB
      @JulianKB 7 місяців тому +7

      super awkward feeling afterward

  • @oiayoiay5131
    @oiayoiay5131 8 місяців тому +34

    I have social anxiety and part of the reason I think is because I always feel pressured to come up with interesting and new things to say in response. Like literally everytime I start a conversation, they’ll just give like a vague/dry answer and I don’t know what to do. My mind just instantly feel blank so I either just try to come up with new things to say to fill the silence. That’s why I don’t do well with awkward people.

    • @jdncat
      @jdncat 7 місяців тому +6

      Same, I'm very awkward and have social anxiety. It's hard for me to get along with other awkward people, because they'll just give a dry/vague answer. Then feel extremely bad because I don't know what to say to that. It gets exhausting.
      Recently, I've been starting to feel a tiny more comfortable about just saying stuff without any expectation of anyone saying in return and just throwing stuff out there. It's been a little bit better about lowering my own expectations, and just try to start to feel okay with there being awkward silences even if the other person doesn't know what to say. If I don't say it (what I currently am feeling like saying) then it'll just bother me anyway. The one thing that helps, is that if I'm talking to friends maybe they'll remember that in the future and make reference to it or they'll perhaps feel more open about sharing stuff about them to continue the conversation later. Even if it's not right now.
      Social anxiety absolutely sucks and I've been struggling my entire life, it's so easy to just stay in your head when you have this condition. There's not really an easy fix to it, but I think with baby steps can help to cope with it at the very least.

    • @ecchitense4095
      @ecchitense4095 5 місяців тому +3

      ​​@@jdncatUnderrated reply tbh I really appreciate this

  • @trappart9209
    @trappart9209 10 місяців тому +45

    And the other part is you have actually be connected to yourself and genuinely have a good time while having a conversation. Without it people will not stick to you

  • @MrC9Oh3
    @MrC9Oh3 9 місяців тому +25

    I have absolutely nothing to say.. I can see how awkward I make other people feel. I mirror my anxiety onto them. Ugh it's terrible!

    • @janeth3187
      @janeth3187 6 місяців тому +6

      SAME ITS FRUSTRATING

  • @alexanderaIeV
    @alexanderaIeV Рік тому +118

    Im usually forgetful i see a lot of tips but when i try and use them irl situations they just blur away

    • @shreya3160
      @shreya3160 Рік тому +9

      Same :(

    • @samdal420
      @samdal420 9 місяців тому +6

      Yeah, it be like that 😔

    • @deeps1777
      @deeps1777 8 місяців тому +2

      True

    • @psych7776
      @psych7776 6 місяців тому

      Same , isn't there a cure to this?😔

    • @mtlicq
      @mtlicq 6 місяців тому

      @@psych7776 Jesus !

  • @Raphails
    @Raphails Рік тому +77

    Good tips I'll forget them tomorrow 😅

    • @New-ye2fl
      @New-ye2fl 8 місяців тому +1

      Be here a month later again stoned, rinse and repeat 😂

    • @Kookie-tc2ng
      @Kookie-tc2ng 7 місяців тому

      😂

    • @yupeRBLX
      @yupeRBLX 5 місяців тому

      why like when i try to make eye contact to my teacher, my heart is like a stone and i start having my eyes look watery almost like crying

  • @nickp3949
    @nickp3949 7 місяців тому +5

    A lot of it is HOW you say it though. If you’re clearly nervous and not saying anything and then you randomly say “so…what do you do for fun?” And your voice is shaky or it comes off like you’re afraid to speak, it’s gonna make them feel really uncomfortable and now you’re just making your situation worse.
    See, in my case, I have the self awareness to know that when I attempt to speak when I’m nervous, it just makes my situation worse because my voice projects fear, anxiousness and low value. This is why I’m mostly quiet in groups, I know that if I speak up I’m gonna isolate myself even more. One on one I’m completely fine, it’s just groups I can’t do, because if you mess up, now everybody knows, and everybody knows that everybody knows that you have low value. So you’ve just tossed yourself down to the bottom of the totem pole.

  • @user-mk6tg8lc2k
    @user-mk6tg8lc2k Рік тому +29

    There is one problem.
    I am social anxiety but with my friends I'm really open. And that is the problem, I open to people really easily and they seem like they don't care and it just makes it even more worse.

    • @belenrodriguez1484
      @belenrodriguez1484 Рік тому +6

      Yess i struggle with this too:(

    • @ole12345
      @ole12345 11 місяців тому +6

      What he talks about here are surface level communication skills. It's basically avoiding really looking at the anxiety. To really get to the depth of social anxiety to resolve it or live with emotional work or shadow work has been my biggest help. I can recommend the channel "sherpa within" for deep inquiry into the depths of fear, shame or whatever else.

  • @mikasa733
    @mikasa733 8 місяців тому +8

    When i see through the comments iam really there is more people like me i want someone who can talk to me about social anxiety it would be better if they have social anxiety

    • @Haiyich
      @Haiyich 8 місяців тому

      We are definitely all in our little shells lol

    • @mikasa733
      @mikasa733 8 місяців тому

      @@Haiyich ya 😄

    • @jaishrirammmm
      @jaishrirammmm 4 місяці тому

      Can we talk?

  • @chicago701
    @chicago701 6 місяців тому +3

    Hey everyone. Let's create a chat room for those with social anxiety😊

  • @wvover8079
    @wvover8079 10 місяців тому +18

    These tips might be good for someone who may just be socially awkward, but for a person like my daighter who has severe anxiety....she wont even go anywhere to be around people, except work, because she has to go to make a living, but she is miserable all day, eats in her car alone to avoid having to be around people... she wont even stop and run into a bathroom if we are out and about, because she is afraid someone will see her and she may have to talk to them or answer a question she may not be able to answer.... she has a severy anxiety aroung the fear of the unknown... annything out of her normal daily routine.... how to you overcome that with just learning how to ask the right questions or say the right things in a social setting..... which sje could never get herself to even go to such an event????

  • @maiianthe3280
    @maiianthe3280 Рік тому +15

    This came at a really helpful time, thank you!

  • @IsabellaJane-zr3ik
    @IsabellaJane-zr3ik 7 місяців тому +3

    The problem is tho I am very very VERY insecure about my voice 😞

  • @jimoncken6936
    @jimoncken6936 10 місяців тому +5

    Also, if I go around all day making others feel good, I end up feeling spent. Especially when it is not reciprocated.

  • @vallesterfaith
    @vallesterfaith 6 місяців тому

    This really helped thanks!

  • @jimoncken6936
    @jimoncken6936 10 місяців тому +3

    Nice advice, but I frequently get accused of being patronizing and/or phoney when I do that.

  • @anthonyramirez7767
    @anthonyramirez7767 10 місяців тому +1

    As a supervisor it sucks. Gave up on myself for not being strong

  • @ThisIsAnInactiveChannel
    @ThisIsAnInactiveChannel 8 місяців тому

    In my case, the problem is that pretty much everything I have to say is about me, and when talking to others, I honestly don't think they wanna listen to stuff about me, so the best tip I have to fix this is to listen to what they say and have to say way more, and probably the best way to do this is to think of questions to ask to them and just ask them since it will keep a conversation going. The other problem is that, even though I'm aware of this, I always forget it when talking to others 🙃

  • @ElemonAdventures
    @ElemonAdventures 4 місяці тому

    These are all good, but I don’t know how I’d do any of them when I can’t even say hi or get out any words

  • @Kookie-tc2ng
    @Kookie-tc2ng 7 місяців тому +1

    Good advice 👍🏽

  • @joacogomezz
    @joacogomezz Рік тому

    Thanks you for the subtitles 👏👏

  • @Lun4r_Dr4g0ns
    @Lun4r_Dr4g0ns 9 місяців тому +1

    I want to do all of this but whenever I have to talk to someone I don’t know I automatically cry even tho I don’t want to and I’m going into a middle school in a few days where all the teachers force us to introduce and shake hands and talk

  • @MrBiteus
    @MrBiteus 5 місяців тому

    I try talking to people. It takes a few minutes, but they will eventually back away and avoid me. So I know there is something wrong with me.

  • @americohagim1131
    @americohagim1131 9 місяців тому +1

    Rlly problem is I can’t handle social situations like being around ppl scares me to death

  • @dramakimchi.3747
    @dramakimchi.3747 10 місяців тому

    Thanks doctor ❤

  • @simratmann4323
    @simratmann4323 8 місяців тому

    Social interaction is tougher than rocket science!!

  • @Sad_guy666
    @Sad_guy666 Рік тому +3

    I am watching this for Omegle 😂😂😂

  • @catsozen
    @catsozen 4 місяці тому

    Dr Ali. I'm not sure if this common, but have you had clients who have trouble balancing the converstation equilibrium? These suggestions are good, but it always makes the other person go on and on only about themselves. It never becomes a two way street.
    In a relationship, it gets exhausting when the other party tunes out from what you have to say and get interested only when it's about them. Do you have an idea on how to balance the conversational equation? Thank you.

  • @lemon_j
    @lemon_j 8 місяців тому

    If this works on my parents then it definitely works.

  • @himanshushinde6581
    @himanshushinde6581 6 місяців тому

    But the thing is the colleagues in my office interest don't match my interest so it is very difficult to start convo

  • @aasaiselvam4279
    @aasaiselvam4279 Рік тому +1

    Dear Doc Ali , much gratitude to your generosity 👍❤️
    I Noticed anxiety since pandemic, whenever I have dinner, I feel anxious and bloating discomfort, please help me out..
    Love from India

    • @femox3454
      @femox3454 Рік тому +2

      Search up Andrew Huberman breathing technique it helps me with anxiety

  • @lnicko
    @lnicko 6 місяців тому +1

    I can talk all day to 1 person, I have a client based business, and talking is easy for me. but group settings..., please dont ask me a question!🤐😳 😂

  • @taniasarkar4909
    @taniasarkar4909 5 місяців тому

    I study medicine and in my tution class there are literally 300 people....I don't even feel a bit awkward there ...but in a family function with relatives I feel like I'll die ...

  • @adelynnminney9197
    @adelynnminney9197 Рік тому

    Is there any tips about how to sign back up for your favorite sports?Reasoning is you are afraid of what people will think of you or how you will screw up this time 😊

  • @FLARAH
    @FLARAH 7 місяців тому

    All I need help with is all my friends say there introverts but I never ever get to speak 😭😭😭 And I also always feel left out and wish that I could get all my feelings out !!! 😭😭

  • @n3rdworldproblemz877
    @n3rdworldproblemz877 6 місяців тому +1

    Ugh mastered these. But I'm tired of always doing for others. No one interested in me I never get to speak about anything.

  • @-vincentt
    @-vincentt 8 місяців тому

    i think i have made a mistake this summer😅
    Sooo at the end of my school year i was able to make eye contact and speak louder during presentations but... uhh this summer i have only spoken and seen my bff and my family and now when i go out i can't even look or speak or anything without having a panic attack soo idk how rhis school year is gonna go..😅

  • @souta.kawata
    @souta.kawata Рік тому

    hello dr ali if you don't mind can i contact with you about something?

  • @Intensive_Porpoises
    @Intensive_Porpoises 4 місяці тому

    What if you don't care about what they have to say? 😬

  • @michaelesq.atpcfii.9862
    @michaelesq.atpcfii.9862 5 місяців тому

    but what if i could care less what they have to say?

  • @shingaki.channel
    @shingaki.channel 7 місяців тому

    But this would be like memorizing question from school and then repeat them when I meet someone... I just right now forgot the questions... that would make me even more anxious and feel bad and would zoom out while the other person is talking because I would be thinking "what was it that I have to ask?" and what about when they reply? I mean it is going to be a longer answer from the other person but then what?...

    • @shingaki.channel
      @shingaki.channel 7 місяців тому

      I am feeling better being honest... if I do not know what to say and the silence appears I would say: "sorryy, but I do not know that to say or what to talk about... and would laugh... and smile saying "it just sometimes happens"... and then if the other person wants to will say something and if that answer makes me feel better probably a reply will nicely come out from my mind... otherwiser I will think, ok at least I tried... because sometimes it is simply that the other person is not compatible so what for waste much more time really... we do not have to please everyone and also do not to have to like everyone either

  • @osaijanel
    @osaijanel 10 місяців тому

    But what if I don't care to have a conversation...

  • @funplay1544
    @funplay1544 Рік тому +3

    Hey Doctor Ali I have a problem of social anxiety.....and whenever I am in stressful, nervous or awkward situations my eyes get red and i get to feel a burning sensation in my eyes and tears often come out of my eyes....and i can't eye contact because of the burning even though I m confident at times:-(

    • @drali
      @drali  Рік тому +2

      The first thing you should do is speak to an eye doctor (if you haven't already). Explain the situation and make sure there isn't a medical complication here. Two friends of mine had exposure to chernobyl radiation and as a result experience eye pain and migraines that needs to be managed. Once you know if anything is happened there, THEN you can try some of the exposure strategies I discuss here: ua-cam.com/video/K24CS0mA5Fs/v-deo.html. Be sure to use some of the coping strategies I talk about here to reduce the impact of the symptoms you experience: ua-cam.com/video/xGb4fvfZpWM/v-deo.html. Good luck!

    • @funplay1544
      @funplay1544 Рік тому +2

      @@drali Thank you Doctor Ali for your kind advice.Love you so much!

  • @LernadElinge
    @LernadElinge 3 місяці тому

    ❤❤

  • @drali
    @drali  Рік тому +1

    Watch the full video: ua-cam.com/video/PNF09Fw8cG4/v-deo.html

  • @anitok6868
    @anitok6868 11 місяців тому

    So this means I have to tan to people 😮‍💨

  • @MrModikoe
    @MrModikoe 8 місяців тому

    It seems you guys don't know what severe social anxiety is..😢

  • @United_Wings
    @United_Wings Рік тому

    W

  • @nerd-
    @nerd- 10 місяців тому

    so be a robot