1. I thought i was the only one who heard the 'almost the rainbow theme tune' bit 2. did i miss something where aunt jemima was a euphemism for menstruating? 3.the box saying 'she'll get a flap in her mouth' made me laugh far harder than it should have done
Perfect timing (for me to stumble upon this two years after it was posted)! I was trying to remember the name of this just recently and couldn't explain it well enough to anyone I know because, shamefully, I forgot about the talking box called Box. I had to look up who played the box because it really sounds like she's trying to channel Victoria Wood (it wasn't her.)
I've never suffered through the horror of Allsorts, I may be slightly too old. Certainly makes you appreciate how well-made Rainbow and Sesame Street are.
Reminds me of a moment from Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry rents a call-girl so he can use the car-share lane to get to a match - he is astonished at her rates, and she says 'Honey, I have a red snapper that talks to you!' and Larry replies 'Yeah - you know what it's saying? - "I'm charging Waaay too much!" '
That "cunt-tree" joke reminds me of a Christmas eve night shift I worked. Absolutely nothing was happening so we played charades and someone got escape to the country. Slapping her hand at her crotch and then lifting her arms to be a tree confused us for about half an hour before we gave up.
The horror of having a living dismembered face on a cardboard box. Then, you start wondering how it moves, keeps alive without internal organs, whether it can eat or drink, and if it does, how does it defecate? Mind you, I'm old enough to remember Humphrey Cushion and Dusty Mop, an andromorphic cushion with a head and one hand, (sounds familiar..), and a mop head with a red protrusion, (presumably a nose, but we're not sure), that looks like it was dismembered at some point in the past, that can somehow jump in the air... There's many other examples, of course. And they show these to kids?
Andrew Wightman (Bonzo) later became the producer of Stars In Their Eyes, replacing Jane MacNaught when the latter took over as executive producer of Coronation Street.
Please check out Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared. It nails this uneasy, something not quite right, sense you get from old kids shows so perfectly, but adds a layer of psychological horror just for good measure
Was about to comment that no show has given me bigger DHMIS that this, particularly the puppet helpers and emphasis on weird little songs. Box even sounds like Becky Sloan.
According to Russell T. Davies, Allsorts "was so cheap, with so little time, I wrote an episode in which Box bet them they couldn’t sit still for 15 minutes. So they did. For 15 minutes. (The episodes were 15 minutes long.)" Long story short, if the show seems like people desperately throwing half-formed ideas at a screen to fill time while running around in a blind panic, that's because that's exactly what happened.
A hugely irritating programme. I remember the theme tune causing me to want to throw things at the telly. Still, could be worse, could be The Riddlers. Stuart, you're brilliant as always. Never stop.
The way that Wikipedia bit about a revival was written was in the style of Fanon Wikia editors: they make up potential crossovers for, like, "Thomas the Tank Engine vs. Sonic and Spongebob go to The X Factor and Fortnite!!", and detail the episodes, guest stars, plot (usually just characters turning up in sequence), and I'd always interpreted that this is mainly the work of autistic preteens in the online sandpit, a more innocent and organic version of Spiderman And Elsa. A few months ago I found an enthrallingly detailed, completely fictional series of The Masked Singer. That Allsorts has attracted this kind of attention is making me reassess the demographic.
I suspected it was something like that, but couldn't put my finger on it. It sounds like the Gen Z version of my notebooks as a kid detailing the match results of an imaginary WWF/WCW crossover.
Another example of that (since removed from IMDB) was what can only have been the work of an autistic older fan of Gerry Anderson, or else a particularly lazy troll, who smushed together characters (regular and guest, some of the latter definitively killed in earlier episodes) in two uninspired, dull-toddler-has-a-little-too-much-tartrazine fake episodes of UFO. It probably also has a lot to do with the recent(ish) phenomenon of Pooh's Adventures.
/ok, so is it me, or is Jiffy's leaving song clearly the inspiration for Matinee, by Franz Ferdinand? It's like Buffalo Soldier/Banana Splits all over again.
I have seen many things in my life, but never a drunk 'shaking poos out of his trouser legs'. PLEASE tell me that's just an exaggeration for humour, Stuart. PLEASE TELL ME.
Granada were usually good at programmes, but their kids programmes were often poor and felt like they were made just to meet programme quotas and nothing more.
I was about to suffer an awful PTSD episode from that damn Raggy Dolls intro but I was snapped out of it by that terrifying box. Jeez I thought Aus kids tv was bad.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
1. I thought i was the only one who heard the 'almost the rainbow theme tune' bit
2. did i miss something where aunt jemima was a euphemism for menstruating?
3.the box saying 'she'll get a flap in her mouth' made me laugh far harder than it should have done
Man in his 30s in sideways baseball cap and earing...did he play bass for EMF?
Love the note change on the EastEnders theme, laughed out loud to that.
Box was savage.
I used to watch this slow religiously. I'm amazed I'm not more damaged at 42.
Same. I'm 40, albeit a little bit damaged! 😂
Perfect timing (for me to stumble upon this two years after it was posted)!
I was trying to remember the name of this just recently and couldn't explain it well enough to anyone I know because, shamefully, I forgot about the talking box called Box.
I had to look up who played the box because it really sounds like she's trying to channel Victoria Wood (it wasn't her.)
Argh, christ. I thought I'd unlocked all my core memories a long, long time ago - but apparently you've unlocked this mess.
I've never suffered through the horror of Allsorts, I may be slightly too old. Certainly makes you appreciate how well-made Rainbow and Sesame Street are.
Russell T Davies as script editor, no wonder the show was fucking terrible.
Pretty sure that box was taken advantage of.
4:56 just realised the inspiration for The Curious Orange from This Morning With Richard Not Judy 🍊 😂 📦
You mean it's similar coffee bean.
17:12 not necessarily, Box may not have a urethra and anus but rather a cloaca instead.
Like a box turtle.
Russell T. Davies explored this theme in the 2006 Doctor Who episode "Love And Monsters".
4:43 This *has* to be the inspiration for TMWRNJ's Curious Orange segments.
Spent the last 30 years telling people about a show with a magical talking box - no one believed me. Now I know I was telling the truth
Reminds me of a moment from Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry rents a call-girl so he can use the car-share lane to get to a match - he is astonished at her rates, and she says 'Honey, I have a red snapper that talks to you!' and Larry replies 'Yeah - you know what it's saying? - "I'm charging Waaay too much!" '
I have no memory of this, must have been so mind numbingly crap nothing stuck
That "cunt-tree" joke reminds me of a Christmas eve night shift I worked. Absolutely nothing was happening so we played charades and someone got escape to the country. Slapping her hand at her crotch and then lifting her arms to be a tree confused us for about half an hour before we gave up.
That fake revival at the end has legit made me howl. Trying to find the wikipedia page but seems to have been scrubbed
With ol' Rusty being the script editor for this, I can see Box being an early version of Cassandra.
I had completely blocked Allsorts out of my mind until watching this video.
The horror of having a living dismembered face on a cardboard box. Then, you start wondering how it moves, keeps alive without internal organs, whether it can eat or drink, and if it does, how does it defecate? Mind you, I'm old enough to remember Humphrey Cushion and Dusty Mop, an andromorphic cushion with a head and one hand, (sounds familiar..), and a mop head with a red protrusion, (presumably a nose, but we're not sure), that looks like it was dismembered at some point in the past, that can somehow jump in the air... There's many other examples, of course. And they show these to kids?
10:55 Creepy side-eye - searching for the right camera?
What strikes me most about old TV isn’t how odd it was but how very blurry everything looked.
I was seeing and hearing filth before the blindfold bit. No idea how I stumbled across such randomness, but das ist gut ja!
That's the most blatant tune robbery since WCW closed
They all got their start on Allsorts; Russell T. Davies, Jimmy Hart.
The chap who played Jiffy was later in the best Typhoo advert ever.
“I’m so depressed… feeling blue…”
Andrew Wightman (Bonzo) later became the producer of Stars In Their Eyes, replacing Jane MacNaught when the latter took over as executive producer of Coronation Street.
Please check out Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared. It nails this uneasy, something not quite right, sense you get from old kids shows so perfectly, but adds a layer of psychological horror just for good measure
DHMIS is superb! So weird, bizarre and disturbing but also incredibly appealing and watchable!
Was about to comment that no show has given me bigger DHMIS that this, particularly the puppet helpers and emphasis on weird little songs. Box even sounds like Becky Sloan.
According to Russell T. Davies, Allsorts "was so cheap, with so little time, I wrote an episode in which Box bet them they couldn’t sit still for 15 minutes. So they did. For 15 minutes. (The episodes were 15 minutes long.)" Long story short, if the show seems like people desperately throwing half-formed ideas at a screen to fill time while running around in a blind panic, that's because that's exactly what happened.
"But then she just starts making sandwiches" cracked me up haha! They must have been making bits of this show up as they went along : D
"Sounds like the local pill dealer reeling off his menu..." 😂
Thanks so much for uploading this video to UA-cam
A hugely irritating programme. I remember the theme tune causing me to want to throw things at the telly. Still, could be worse, could be The Riddlers.
Stuart, you're brilliant as always. Never stop.
Weird hearing Lisa Dingle talk like that
The way that Wikipedia bit about a revival was written was in the style of Fanon Wikia editors: they make up potential crossovers for, like, "Thomas the Tank Engine vs. Sonic and Spongebob go to The X Factor and Fortnite!!", and detail the episodes, guest stars, plot (usually just characters turning up in sequence), and I'd always interpreted that this is mainly the work of autistic preteens in the online sandpit, a more innocent and organic version of Spiderman And Elsa.
A few months ago I found an enthrallingly detailed, completely fictional series of The Masked Singer.
That Allsorts has attracted this kind of attention is making me reassess the demographic.
I suspected it was something like that, but couldn't put my finger on it. It sounds like the Gen Z version of my notebooks as a kid detailing the match results of an imaginary WWF/WCW crossover.
Another example of that (since removed from IMDB) was what can only have been the work of an autistic older fan of Gerry Anderson, or else a particularly lazy troll, who smushed together characters (regular and guest, some of the latter definitively killed in earlier episodes) in two uninspired, dull-toddler-has-a-little-too-much-tartrazine fake episodes of UFO. It probably also has a lot to do with the recent(ish) phenomenon of Pooh's Adventures.
is it just me... or does everyone have massive chins on All Sorts?
" what about the Aids ! "
Was that the theme from Woof! Teenwolf on a CITV budget.
Yes, I think so. The one with Liza Goddard, she was in EVERYTHING back in the 80s!
Remember this so much, except the box! Keep this videos coming!
I thought I had never seen it until the box came on 🤣🤣
That box is familiar to me but I don't remember ever watching that show.
Yes, I'm she can stick a lot of stuff in her box.
Fisher price Queer as folk
I remember watching this as a lad, dad came in and asked, 'Is that woman special'?
Christ, that box sounds like Angela Rayner 😂
I remember the opening theme but seem to have largely repressed everything else.
" wish I hadn't eaten so many sandwiches " 😂😂😂
i had that old man condom ad on a vhs at one point! so funny!
Geronimo!
Was the resident irritant, Jiffy, also the owner of RADIO ROO, or am i mistaken ? That kangeroo completely dominated that relationship.
Once the Marc almond comment arrived.... I hit subscribe.
7:44 "we called them a Geronimo"
Driver's piss bottle 😂
Looking at Bonzo, this looks like a prelude to gimme gimme gimme
My sister was terrified of Bonzo and used to cry and make me turn it off.
/ok, so is it me, or is Jiffy's leaving song clearly the inspiration for Matinee, by Franz Ferdinand? It's like Buffalo Soldier/Banana Splits all over again.
I have seen many things in my life, but never a drunk 'shaking poos out of his trouser legs'. PLEASE tell me that's just an exaggeration for humour, Stuart. PLEASE TELL ME.
🤐
There is a scenario not dissimilar in an Irvine Welsh book , I think it's Filth.
Subscribed for the Legz Akimbo reference! Box really was a shit character.
16:25 A Smiths cover in a kids show?
Oh God it's all coming back
I've never heard of periods being called Aunt Jemima.
05:18 "Got any triple sod?"
Jiffy was an absolute cun
isn't a 'box' a 9 bar?
Isn't that the woman of emmdale farm
Granada were usually good at programmes, but their kids programmes were often poor and felt like they were made just to meet programme quotas and nothing more.
21.32 or a band
That's a hairy box.
Series 1 episode 47 was clearly written by Nostradamus
Why does Lisa Dingle sound so posh?
I can't say I blame Jiffy for not wanting to learn the lyrics to that bullshit song.
I was about to suffer an awful PTSD episode from that damn Raggy Dolls intro but I was snapped out of it by that terrifying box. Jeez I thought Aus kids tv was bad.
That was a woman dressed as the dog? 8 thought it was dick or dom, i dont know which is which.