ALMOST 2 HOURS OF r/SH*TTYLIFEPROTIPS

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

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  • @JMon2021
    @JMon2021 3 місяці тому +164

    The "my name is liz" "oh does it stand for Elizabeth?" "No it stand for lizard" is a garfield joke from a long while ago.

  • @marlowener
    @marlowener 3 місяці тому +235

    fun fact my dad actually got his big break in the film business back in the 90s by just walking on set and pretending he belonged there. by the time they realized, the head of the special effects department thought he did good work and though this absolute audacity was funny, so he hired him on his next show lol

    • @eg5558
      @eg5558 3 місяці тому +8

      whats his name if he got a "big break"

    • @mikeymccann3074
      @mikeymccann3074 3 місяці тому +8

      ​@@eg5558 no need to be a jerk

    • @eg5558
      @eg5558 3 місяці тому +7

      @@mikeymccann3074 i did not mean to be rude sorry i got the autism msn

    • @mikeymccann3074
      @mikeymccann3074 3 місяці тому +7

      @@eg5558 ok sorry I do to I didn't realize I just thought you were rage beating

    • @FionaPGT
      @FionaPGT Місяць тому +2

      Hey i wanna know his name too! Im curious!

  • @Thuselessone
    @Thuselessone 3 місяці тому +314

    I feel like Ryan’s world’s parents would’ve liked to know that first one when he was born

  • @spineythefish
    @spineythefish 3 місяці тому +30

    1:28 I love the psych mentioning all the way in the beginning

    • @poppys9319
      @poppys9319 2 місяці тому +3

      i have never seen other people who like psych omg

  • @Samurai_Stoner
    @Samurai_Stoner 3 місяці тому +55

    A ex gf and myself would drive to way out of town bakeries, and tell the bakeries we were getting married to get free wedding cake samples

  • @chatisthishandlewrizz
    @chatisthishandlewrizz 3 місяці тому +80

    0:32 is robin trying to pretend that he knows what 32 bits are or how they are used in that context because wait till he learns about basically anything about computers

    • @Longboost
      @Longboost 3 місяці тому +23

      Small (albeit pedantic) correction on that part of the video! For it to underflow, it would have to be an *unsigned* 32-bit integer, which supports values up to 4,294,967,295. Signed 32-bit integers, which have a limit of 2,147,483,647, support negative numbers just fine.

    • @GogiRegion
      @GogiRegion 3 місяці тому +8

      @@Longboost And considering debt is a thing, they probably would use a signed integer...

    • @manofmanynames_
      @manofmanynames_ 2 місяці тому +2

      It's weird bcs he doesn't comment on the same meme at 27:22

    • @LarryTheTugaGamer1511
      @LarryTheTugaGamer1511 2 місяці тому +2

      What the hell? My comment somehow got transfered from another video to this one

  • @GogiRegion
    @GogiRegion 3 місяці тому +16

    40:47 I once accused my teacher of breaking the Geneva conventions and that I would report her to the principal when she gave us homework because one kid kept acting up too much. With all the complaining as well as the threats to talk to administration, it got them to only give the homework to the one kid who was acting out. I like to think that pointing out that it was a war crime contributed to them realizing how morally wrong it was, but knowing them, they 100% did it just to not be on bad terms with the principal.

  • @fireballfilms
    @fireballfilms 3 місяці тому +23

    ok but seriously with adhd having 2 projects at once does help me focus better

    • @BiVirus
      @BiVirus 7 днів тому

      I have 40 unfinished projects now TwT

  • @StarrChild.
    @StarrChild. 2 місяці тому +16

    this one is super late but dream explained he wouldn't be streaming that month due to his little sister and her school being doxxed and majority of his chats/donation messages would be that. he ended up donating 40k to the charity instead with an apology and clearly showed it. i despise people missing out the context of that one because he was just trying to make sure his sister was safe and he still donated but people just twist it to their own versions

  • @Dirterthan
    @Dirterthan 2 місяці тому +6

    6:52 Keep in mind that a kidney price has basically doubled since that post has been made. Poverty is infact a choice.

  • @erikarussell1142
    @erikarussell1142 3 місяці тому +58

    I have a friend who was named Liz. I was out with Liz playing “who’s lawn ornament is that anyway?” (Taking neighbors lawn ornaments and placing them in other neighbors yards) it’s a good way to keep your neighbors involved. But she accidentally ran me over when taking off as I was getting in the back seat. I was stuck under the tire for what felt like 20 minutes. After that I called her Godzilla (because she absolutely squashed me) and then just lizard after that. Lol

    • @666_cthulhu
      @666_cthulhu 9 днів тому +3

      that was a roller coaster

  • @ChaosTheoriesLuxe
    @ChaosTheoriesLuxe 3 місяці тому +30

    3:45 "I heard a gunshot at night. I went to check it out..."
    This is Florida, isn't it?

  • @davidhildebrandt2884
    @davidhildebrandt2884 3 місяці тому +20

    6:33 i feel like gaslighting at the gas station may not be the best idea...

  • @MiiGameplaysHD
    @MiiGameplaysHD Місяць тому +3

    10:51 yes, this is a legitimate Netflix profile picture you can choose. For those wondering it's in the Black Mirror section of profile pictures

  • @roonkolos
    @roonkolos 2 місяці тому +6

    "Had anyone ever just showed up at work and not notice?"
    Well, theres that dude in Africa who was a surgeon for like a year before anyone realized he wasnt actually a surgeon
    Jokes on them. He was incredibly good at his job XD

  • @j.p.6932
    @j.p.6932 3 місяці тому +18

    29:15 I think most people garden for the joy as a hobby and just enjoy the fruits/vegetables as an end product. I doubt woodworkers make all of their furniture.
    There are people who grow their own produce, but they garden on a large scale - basically a small farm.

    • @bladenot-runner1795
      @bladenot-runner1795 3 місяці тому +2

      Honestly, homegrown fruits and vegetables taste wonderful. They put store-bought food to shame. A lot of them are easy to grow and the plants produce a lot, so if you like to cook, it's absolutely worth the effort.

    • @j.p.6932
      @j.p.6932 3 місяці тому

      @@bladenot-runner1795
      I mean, I really don’t cook that often (single guy - at the moment), but I would grow them if I could (love the taste and some of the plants/trees). I have a very brown thumb. We had wild raspberries in our backyard growing up, and I loved them. I somehow managed to kill a bamboo plant - I think it just needed to repot it sooner when it outgrew its vase/pot.
      It’s ironic because I just bought whole bunch of produce the other day and was surprised by how expensive it was.

    • @bladenot-runner1795
      @bladenot-runner1795 3 місяці тому +2

      @@j.p.6932 I too have a brown thumb (I've k!lled bamboo, cacti, succulents, and more), but most outdoor vegetables and herbs are super easy once they get going. Heck, I once accidentally grew a tomato plant in the house. Highly recommend.

  • @MoonS1337
    @MoonS1337 2 місяці тому +5

    Unpaid internships should be illegal

  • @user-iy3nt5mm2v
    @user-iy3nt5mm2v 3 місяці тому +9

    Tip: If you’re ever in a situation where strangers are trying to talk to you, just pretend you are deaf. This has worked for me every time except once where they spotted the headphones around my neck (I played it off as a joke tho and they thought it was funny, so nothing bad happened). I usually just look at them and sign something, gradually signing harder and looking more frustrated if they keep trying to talk because ‘I can’t hear them’. People tend to leave you be VERY quickly, and it works best when alone because you’re less likely to get your cover blown. As long as they don’t know sign language (which there is a chance, can’t really help you with any awkwardness that may ensue), you’re in the clear. Don’t recommend this around cops tho, bc some actual deaf people have been shot for signing to them (they mistake it as gang signs somehow).

  • @arandomsystemglitch2398
    @arandomsystemglitch2398 3 місяці тому +5

    Funnily enough showing up and working actually works some times

  • @Trix-or-Treat-ko7in
    @Trix-or-Treat-ko7in 3 місяці тому +4

    I didn’t know Robin watched psych, it is one of my favorite shows.

  • @sadraccoonboy
    @sadraccoonboy 3 місяці тому +5

    Poor Gus lmao. I would watch Psych like people watch The Office, that show is my fricken lifeblood

    • @poppys9319
      @poppys9319 2 місяці тому +1

      agreed ong one of the best shows out there

  • @ModestFrog
    @ModestFrog 3 місяці тому +6

    5:46 I've been blaming all farts on my dog for years. He died in 2016.

  • @MappingInTheBalkans
    @MappingInTheBalkans 3 місяці тому +7

    You are really spoiling us, I now have something to listen to while doing absolutely nothing

  • @aaronjordan9387
    @aaronjordan9387 Місяць тому +1

    6:34 my friend was hired at Burger King and they haven’t sent him a schedule but he just goes in every Wednesday and Friday starts working after clocking in and then clocks out 6 hours later, they haven’t gotten after him, nothing bad has happened on his end, and he just does this every week

  • @nationalinstituteofcheese3012
    @nationalinstituteofcheese3012 3 місяці тому +11

    Life Tip:
    Name your daughter Elizabeth but tell her that Liz is short for Lizard. She’ll correct people incorrectly and it’ll be hilarious. Until they’re old enough to know better

    • @Vincent_Beers
      @Vincent_Beers 2 місяці тому +4

      Name your daughter Lucifer, only call her Lucy. Don't give her the birth certificate until she turns 18 and finds out her full name. By then it will either be accurate or ironic and funny either way.

    • @nationalinstituteofcheese3012
      @nationalinstituteofcheese3012 2 місяці тому

      @@Vincent_Beers and they’re gonna send you to Lucifer when they kill you

  • @geboaebo
    @geboaebo 2 місяці тому +2

    It took me 3 times of the reading the shopping cart post to understand it. They don't sell the carts for 25 cents... you're meant to put the money in to use it, and then take it out when you put it back...😊

    • @geboaebo
      @geboaebo 2 місяці тому

      That emoji was accidental it was right below the "post" button for some reason

  • @the0nefromabov697
    @the0nefromabov697 2 місяці тому +4

    To people who can;t fund a funeral, consider donating your body to science and they will fund the cremation for you

  • @germanelkapo1
    @germanelkapo1 Місяць тому +1

    2:22 in Argentina, laws are so that, on a collision between a car and a cyclist, the car driver is always at fault, the cyclists know and a lot of them act ride recklessly because of it, so you gotta be extra alert to prevent them from bumping into your car, as if it wasn't enough that a lot of people suck at driving.

  • @blahhaha253
    @blahhaha253 2 місяці тому +1

    22:40 the issue is that when you learn how to do projects like coding, you instead keep creating new projects that never get done-

  • @FionaPGT
    @FionaPGT Місяць тому +2

    2:25 but then at 21 she'll be loving it after she finds it hilarious

  • @Animezingly
    @Animezingly 15 днів тому

    okay but outlining your spill on your shirt and giving it a name is hilarious and honestly useful. I'd crack up laughing if I saw it and I love that idea

  • @CreepersNeedHugs
    @CreepersNeedHugs 3 місяці тому +3

    1:15:30 the fact that the phone number has a Seattle area code is so funny. Seattle is just a liiitle too close to Portland for its own good.

  • @JennyEverywhere
    @JennyEverywhere 3 місяці тому +5

    Of course they're not teethbrushes. That's silly! They're teethbreesh, the plural of toothbrush!

  • @the_Lime
    @the_Lime 3 місяці тому +2

    28:10 especially if you're on some types of blood thinners, definitely recommend the grapefruit to lose all the joy in your life or maybe even lose your life of you're lucky!

  • @wbat5816
    @wbat5816 2 місяці тому +2

    1:13:08 THIS LAMP!
    IT'S UNDENIABLE!
    it's unbelievable!
    Me: IT'S JUST A LAMP!

  • @amelioravictoriadionyssia3323
    @amelioravictoriadionyssia3323 2 місяці тому +2

    The "lighter weights" thing is actually more true than people think.
    The reason why an 8 year of indonesian monk could easily beat a built, grown American man is because the american man only exercises his red muscles and it increases mass by damaging muscles. But working out white muscle tissue will help fortify your overall strength and add density instead of mass. Density is better than mass for 2 reasons - faster healing, and less surface area to damage.
    Say what you want, but i never see any north american men training themselves by hanging from a noose for several hours a day.
    And most american men have 0 chi control

  • @NiePacze
    @NiePacze 2 місяці тому +1

    6:17 - I made something like that once. When I was young and in huge need for money and can’t find any work, so I find one factory that produce paper. I go there wearing almost the same work clothing like them and just go inside. I just walking from spot to spot, helping everyone and move stuff around.
    After 2 days boss catch me, and I works there almost 2 years.

  • @IkeFanBoy64
    @IkeFanBoy64 3 місяці тому +7

    6:32
    Yes it has. The VA for Donut in Red vs Blue got the job at the call center the rest of RoosterTeeth's founders worked at by simply walking in, saying he was there for the job, and it worked.

    • @FoxDog1080
      @FoxDog1080 2 місяці тому

      I don't know any of these things

    • @AlmostAstronaut
      @AlmostAstronaut 2 місяці тому +1

      damn i watched the entire show and i never knew this

    • @IkeFanBoy64
      @IkeFanBoy64 Місяць тому

      @@AlmostAstronaut It was rather recently that it was revealed. Look up the RTAA called "Hiring Who?

    • @MachallaNaNaNa
      @MachallaNaNaNa 23 дні тому

      Rooster Teeth is a mess lol

    • @IkeFanBoy64
      @IkeFanBoy64 23 дні тому

      @@MachallaNaNaNa You can thank Warner Bros for causing that

  • @Andiecottrell-lr8dv
    @Andiecottrell-lr8dv 2 місяці тому +3

    2:42 I remember that from family guy, Megan? No megatron

  • @imboredig
    @imboredig 3 місяці тому +3

    59:42 Despite Jack trying his absolute hardest to read this, I can just hear her saying this. Like the text-to-speech for ebonics

  • @LightBulb700
    @LightBulb700 3 місяці тому +6

    2:41 I was just like oh changing the oven clock isn't that hard. Then I remembered i literally have a masters in electronic engineering

  • @ScopeLab
    @ScopeLab 2 місяці тому +1

    6:33 ‘Gaslighting’ isn’t a term you want to use near a gas station.

  • @YoylecakeJ
    @YoylecakeJ 3 місяці тому +7

    Alright, thanks. imma apply all this knowledge to my daily life. Thanks for making me more knowledgeable

  • @wbat5816
    @wbat5816 2 місяці тому +1

    I like how Jack changes the meaning of SLPT and/or LPT to something related to the original meaning!

    • @katherinepadron0628
      @katherinepadron0628 16 днів тому +1

      What exactly does SLPT/LPT mean? This video is the first time I've seen it.

    • @wbat5816
      @wbat5816 16 днів тому +1

      @katherinepadron0628
      SLPT = S#%&$y Life Pro Tip
      LPT = Life Pro Tip...

  • @_GhostMiner
    @_GhostMiner 3 місяці тому +3

    *0:22** so SSN is an unsigned 32-bit integer?*
    Also 2,147B (2^31-1) is the limit for a SIGNED integer.
    The "sign" is the very first bit which determines if the number is negative or not.

    • @ANNONYMUS123
      @ANNONYMUS123 12 днів тому

      Please explain in English lol

  • @FMJ31
    @FMJ31 3 місяці тому +2

    Psych was such a good show.

  • @HuskDust666
    @HuskDust666 3 місяці тому +12

    I loved the nicknames in Psych

  • @gambo8171
    @gambo8171 Місяць тому +1

    11:41 i do that. I haven't been working for two years, but I tell people "im still new. I'm not used to doing all this"

  • @TheMNWolf
    @TheMNWolf 2 місяці тому +1

    Programmer here, you only use the size of an integer that you need so you have more room for other things. Sure, I could use a 64-bit integer to store a true or false value, but that's 63 other bits that nothing else can use.

  • @turkey_sandwhich
    @turkey_sandwhich 20 днів тому +2

    oh boy time to procrastinate

  • @melsbacksfriend
    @melsbacksfriend 3 місяці тому +4

    Am I the only person who knew how to change oven clocks at the age of 8?

  • @arxeonop
    @arxeonop 3 місяці тому +3

    Blue eyes white Karen had me lmfao

  • @-r-3656
    @-r-3656 3 місяці тому +1

    People on the internet are seriously a different breed of person than people in real life.

  • @_soba_noodlez_
    @_soba_noodlez_ 3 місяці тому +3

    amazing timing

  • @lostnetwork5717
    @lostnetwork5717 2 місяці тому +1

    I can officially say I got a job just by showing up was just at the shop so much made friends with the owner now i help manage the shop.

  • @monroerobbins7551
    @monroerobbins7551 15 днів тому +1

    1:30 HELL YEAH PSYCH REFERENCE

  • @zomb13_lover
    @zomb13_lover 2 місяці тому +1

    I love this so much

  • @theominouspigeon
    @theominouspigeon 3 місяці тому +6

    absolute smart

  • @No-yn3jo
    @No-yn3jo 3 місяці тому +2

    1:39:32 actually, this is a real thing, it mimics human touch and needs, which has calming properties.

    • @No-yn3jo
      @No-yn3jo 3 місяці тому +1

      This is also why tea is so calming

  • @j.p.6932
    @j.p.6932 3 місяці тому +3

    20:18 They’re not shaking them, they’re packing them so loose tobacco doesn’t fall out. Who doesn’t know that?

    • @shadowsilvertailsfan
      @shadowsilvertailsfan 3 місяці тому +2

      Me, I didn't know that.

    • @j.p.6932
      @j.p.6932 3 місяці тому

      @@shadowsilvertailsfan
      Maybe it’s just because I have friends who are smokers.

    • @shadowsilvertailsfan
      @shadowsilvertailsfan 3 місяці тому +2

      @@j.p.6932 oh, my parents are smokers, and I had no idea still

    • @j.p.6932
      @j.p.6932 3 місяці тому +2

      @@shadowsilvertailsfan
      Oh well. Always fun to learn something new, lol. I’m sure I had to ask when I first saw it being done. It certainly isn’t intuition. You’d think they’d come ready to smoke.

    • @shadowsilvertailsfan
      @shadowsilvertailsfan 3 місяці тому +2

      @@j.p.6932 agreed!

  • @Thelocaltransmascidiot42
    @Thelocaltransmascidiot42 3 місяці тому +9

    fun fact, no one has finished this yet

  • @ButtonyFriend41
    @ButtonyFriend41 3 місяці тому +1

    I usually don't like Robin, but now that I know he's a Psych fan, I'm impartial towards him.

  • @smoothjazz_gg
    @smoothjazz_gg 3 місяці тому

    Rapid fire emkay uploading is crazy

  • @JustLefeh
    @JustLefeh 3 місяці тому +3

    Would visit coldbrew stain

  • @baliyae
    @baliyae 3 місяці тому

    Jack is hilarious! I love his voice!

  • @TuffMelon
    @TuffMelon 3 місяці тому +10

    8:13, hey, it worked for my aunts. Got drunk or tipsy every damn family gathering and inevitably had an argument... -_-

  • @RupertAnimations
    @RupertAnimations 3 місяці тому +4

    Ok, this is cool.

  • @Sakura.coyoteborn
    @Sakura.coyoteborn 2 місяці тому

    2:07 oh that’s delightful 👏

  • @hotter_feger
    @hotter_feger 3 місяці тому +1

    I actually ate selica gel yesterday, when I accidentally took it with my magnesium medication in my water. I didn't escape the matrix.

  • @Hamburger-xk5ds
    @Hamburger-xk5ds 3 місяці тому +3

    Hell yea

  • @SilentKnightXXVI
    @SilentKnightXXVI 3 місяці тому

    9:49 bro has done this before also thats honestly the smart way. work smarter not harder, this guy is the menace we all need

  • @phlosen7854
    @phlosen7854 2 місяці тому

    0:35 a 32bit limit on your USD networth would solve so many problems. That's still way too much wealth, but at least there would be a limit to the greed.

  • @Shiryu080
    @Shiryu080 2 дні тому +1

    0:00:32 You would be surprised by how much technology still uses 32-bit.

  • @Level_105
    @Level_105 3 місяці тому +7

    344 likes in 58 minutes? Bro is famous

  • @Halfhisunavailible
    @Halfhisunavailible День тому +1

    41:09 the snowgrave method

  • @theendernightmaregamer
    @theendernightmaregamer 3 місяці тому +3

    1:15 bro i do this

  • @Calliope-iv3ve
    @Calliope-iv3ve 3 місяці тому +2

    32:45 just bite down

  • @mr.scarlo2234
    @mr.scarlo2234 3 місяці тому +3

    Day 1976 of asking for “Hi, my name’s Jack. I’m asking for some feedback.”

  • @max_e_maxxy_
    @max_e_maxxy_ 3 місяці тому

    41:50 just be aware you don't actually have to take an oath at all ,you can plead the fifth to the whole thing in America. They can't make you answer- it's only the betrayal of the oath that's a crime

  • @Nebulex78
    @Nebulex78 2 місяці тому

    1:25 WWWWWWWW psych mentioned 🔥

  • @waffleovo4135
    @waffleovo4135 3 місяці тому

    8:40 iv seen this one before and forgot abought it its 100% one my favirot ones

  • @shwahgamer
    @shwahgamer 3 місяці тому

    The Planet Fitness one is a joke. We got one here recently and I was really confused whenever we pass by it, because there are never any cars there. And then I found out it's because they're only open for like 2-3 hours a day in the early morning.
    On the flip side, we also have a different gym in town called Anytime Fitness, which is open 24 hours and costs the same. I don't go to gyms myself, but I know for sure which one is more worth using.

  • @featherbloom
    @featherbloom 2 місяці тому

    1:23:58 Ladies we can save SO MUCH MONEY on not buying eggs-

  • @SanguineMask
    @SanguineMask 3 місяці тому

    Even if things worked like that in the first post, that number is the maximum for a 32-bit signed integer. Signed integers can represent negative values, so you're just putting the baby in debt.

  • @wbat5816
    @wbat5816 2 місяці тому

    1:31:46 Bees on fire LOL

  • @CuppaLLX
    @CuppaLLX 3 місяці тому

    Robin, you think the govt has upgraded to 64 bit, he’ll 32 but is generally your sen would reset to the highest 8 bit number

  • @DaPlenThing
    @DaPlenThing 2 місяці тому +1

    11:54 that’s genuinely such a lame and disgusting joke
    Screw dream

  • @bookworm67-hv7nm
    @bookworm67-hv7nm 3 місяці тому +2

    8:35 this could be done with hound's (like in an old movie when some say's release the hound's) can't find your keys/wallet phone release the hound's can't find the kid's/grandma/grandpa/mother/father release the hound's bet you find then right quick then

  • @arca9e295
    @arca9e295 3 місяці тому

    4:32 no ❤️
    42:34 and your skin will hurt! ❤️
    😂

  • @ryanp9458
    @ryanp9458 27 днів тому

    35:21 okay but I actually had exactly that happen to me. I had to travel out of state for my grandfather’s funeral……it was THE DAY my cat (who had been my best friend my entire life) went over the rainbow bridge.

  • @Skoopyghost
    @Skoopyghost Місяць тому

    Well fire dries your clothes faster than the wind.

  • @pro2stinger
    @pro2stinger 2 місяці тому

    0:33 it's 32 bit and not anything higher to save memory. and if the bank uses unsigned 32 bit integers it would be 2^32-1 which is 4,294,967,295

  • @reikosuzuka8608
    @reikosuzuka8608 3 місяці тому +2

    I know im not attacked with the image overly much, but still, the amount of times people on youtube use images of homelander drinking breast milk, to help carry the humor.... its too much.

  • @rockpie.iso.tar.bz2
    @rockpie.iso.tar.bz2 3 місяці тому +3

    holy crap 30 seconds

  • @j.p.6932
    @j.p.6932 3 місяці тому

    44:58 That is my life. It’s called Generalized Anxiety Disorder

  • @jeremybitching3986
    @jeremybitching3986 3 місяці тому

    Hell yeah emkay!

  • @CHERRY_YAKGUA
    @CHERRY_YAKGUA 2 місяці тому

    18:01 actually went and did this one. Genuinely works.

  • @makexxwar
    @makexxwar 2 місяці тому

    I'm confused. Can other people really close their eyes and see a cow rotating? I can imagine a series of static images of a cow in different positions like a slide show, but I can't imagine the motion

    • @kai_fox4863
      @kai_fox4863 2 місяці тому

      everyones thoughts are different in how they appear where some people only see images, some only can imagine it as words and others have a mix

  • @therealjoshiewoshie
    @therealjoshiewoshie 3 місяці тому +2

    Only 15 dislikes?!

  • @midnightwolfwarrior
    @midnightwolfwarrior Місяць тому

    17:35 Hah, no. He'll probably be sued for damages, plus lost income, plus "fuck you" for a grand total of like 10k.