women should NEVER pay on a date [tinder date mad she had to split the bill”]
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- Опубліковано 20 січ 2024
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In this episode, Elle discusses the topic of dating norms, focusing on the belief that a woman should never pay on dates. She reacts to a video showing a man filming his date's reaction when asked to split the bill, stating that the man was looking for validation but was instead criticized. Elle argues that women, by virtue of investing in their appearance, have already paid their part. She brings up the societal expectation for women to look a certain way, suggesting that men contribute to these beauty expenses. Elle insists that women are the 'prize' and should be treated and respected as such. She advises women to block any man who refuses to invest in them. Elle emphasizes the importance of self-respect and advises her listeners to abandon any situation that undermines their worth. She concludes by encouraging women to leave men who don't meet their standards, asserting that men's personal development is not a woman's responsibility.
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Some men will say they didn't ask for a woman to do their nails, makeup, hair, skincare, etc and then will only wanna seriously date and be seen with women who do all that.
🎯🎯🎯
I had that conversation with a guy in high school when he was complaining about his girlfriend needing to touch up her makeup and change clothing before going to an event. He looked like I slapped him when I asked him if he would be happy if she showed up looking like she rolled out of bed.
EXACTLY. I have literally had a date ask to be moved to a central table with “better lighting” because his coworker was there and he wanted to make sure the guy saw that he was on a date with me. We know this about men. AND GE STRAIGHT UP TOLD ME THAT’S WHAT HE WAS DOING?! He was like “you look so beautiful you should be in centre stage… and my coworker is right over there, I want him to know you’re MY date.” 🤪😵💫
@@KaylaNoelle1 he's so creepy...
@@KaylaNoelle1woww that literally goes back to what Elle is saying! but period, you are center stage 💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾
10 years ago a guy called me and HE INVITED ME to dinner. I accepted. The bill comes and he says “I don’t have money, would you mind paying?” The waitress looked at me and said “take a note on that one”. I paid and we left.
Once in the car, he opened his wallet FULL OF CASH and says “I do have money, but I don’t want to THROW IT AWAY”.
That was the LAST TIME I ever saw him. He called me again and I said “no thanks. I don’t want TO THROW MY TIME AWAY”.
Real story lol
We must value ourselves.
crazy
Shocking! I’m glad you realised you deserve better ❤
no fucking way
THE AUDACITY!!!!!!
Wtf!? He is crazy 😂😂😂 he is real gold digger!!! Smh
I wouldn’t even complain about splitting the bill. I’ll pay for my half and never see him again
Exactly. If he isn’t investing, not worth your time.
I’d say “oh my god, I didn’t know you had money problems. No worries, I’ll pay for my half” and then bounce
@@muchotextopod omg A+ petty😂😂
Yeah. From my POV, if you want me to split the bill, I will absolutely do so😊. And then mentally re-categorize the event as a platonic hang out. We're solidly acquaintances now, with 0% chance of anything else but strangers.
Absolutely!
This habit of secretly filming whoever you're having a disagreement with makes my skin crawl. It seems like the other person has been intentionally trapped. Is it legal to film someone without their permission?
no it is not and its especially illegal to post harassing videos of someone online without their knowledge or consent
He's not filming her in a way that she can be recognized so legally I think it's okay
It depends on the country I think, mostly if it’s not direct it’s legal or if they’re not recognizable its legal too.
It is legal in public spaces in most states, and some states have a one party consent law on filming where you can legally film others without their knowledge or consent
It’s such a big ick and honestly if I was on a date and found that out…. He would be doneeee cus hell no
it's ironic that the tinder guy had the balls to record the date secretly to make the woman look bad but he only made himself look terrible LOL
It's a bat signal to women to not bother with this guy.
😂
Yeah wtf is up with the secret recording. He should be charged.
If $35 for someone's drink and entrée puts you in the financial hole, don't date
Legit, it’s giving me the same vibes as parents who want a night out but complain about paying for a babysitter. Like, if you can’t afford dinner AND a babysitter you can’t afford to go out at all.
Same thing with dating. If you can’t afford $50-$100 worth of food + a tip then you can’t afford to go out. Simple as that.
Exactly
Same for friends as well. If you can't afford the place, suggest another place or activity or go next time. Don't go and keep complaining about the prices and taking all the time to calculate a 2 dollars difference on the bill 🙄
Yup. You're mad at the woman because YOU can't afford to date. Make it make sense.
@@ellegmyeit's called projection.
Agree
I remember hearing a girls first date story where the guy did this. She looked at him and went "omg i didnt realise you were struggling" and then paid the whole thing 😭💀
Maybe say “poor baby you’re struggling! You should work on yourself first and foremost, dates should be the last thing for you to do” pay for me ONLY leave and block right then and there.
Absolutely. Just say, “Bless your heart. I didn’t know you were poor! I’d never have gone to a restaurant with you if I knew you couldn’t even afford a dinner for two. I need to let you alone so you have time to get a 2nd job.”
@@toscadonnasuch narcissistic woman in these video, thinking they can pass rude comments just because a man asks for a split bill. It's 2023 don't be such narrow minded individual thinking only a man have to pay for first dates.
Hahaha, great!
perfect answer!
Men who are stingy with the money are also stingy with their love, with their praise for you, with their adoration and affection for you. The stinginess won’t stop there!! Like what was the point of him even recording that?
Exactly! It permeates to all aspects of their life.
And if they’re so broke that they can’t pay, they shouldn’t be dating. They should be focusing on improving their financial situation/working.
Yes! These men will also drain you of your love. They desire your love but will not give you any back. Leaving you drained of your love until you just don’t have anymore and the woman who don’t notice this will be left as miserable wife’s.
My friend's husband doesn't give money to my friend and I told her that he's saving that money for another woman.
She also caught him cheating.
If a man doesn't give you money then he's not interested in you.
No cap!
He probably sees it as "putting her in her place."
I told my friends it was a red flag and a turn-off when a guy I'd been on a few dates with offered to take me to buy me a coat (in winter) and then canceled without a real reason. They didn't understand why that was a red flag and thought I was being too harsh.
1. HE offered.
2. HE wanted to impress me by claiming to care about my well-being.
3. That instantly makes him unreliable.
4. Inconsistency. Men do what they say they will. If he cared about me like he said he did he would have followed through.
As soon as he did that I knew he was dusty. Ladies the little things should not be overlooked because they get bigger when the man feels like he has you stuck in a relationship.
Not harsh at all since he have no real reason foe that shifty unreliable behavior you did good
He wanted the credit without actually going through with the work lol
And I mean he technically lied too. Like ok if you realize you cannot do it, then you 1. Should be honest about that and communicate that and 2. Offer an alternative that works for you and the person you made the offer to. But overall don’t make an offer you can’t fulfill anyway.
Same thing happened to my sister recently. This guy seemed great. Owned a big ranch, horses, was the CEO of a company. He asked her to pick out wherever she wanted to go so she said a particular place and he offered to buy her a new dress for the date. She was so excited and then a couple of days before the date he acted like it was a joke and that he wasn't actually getting her a dress. Thankfully she called him out on it not being a joke and that he is just a liar and blocked him.
It’s all pieces that reveal his character. That’s what you’re investing in. That’s what tells you if you’re safe or not. These aren’t little things. These are HUGE, monumental things. It’s who the hell he is and how he moves through this existence amongst those he wants closest to him. Do not feel shame for being intelligent enough and caring of yourself enough to see this shit & walk away.
I'm so instantly turned off when a man complains about spending money in any way. Just tells me he'll hold me back from feeling empowered about my own funds too.
Same like it annoys me so much
100% if they start talking about how much money spending time with you is costing them, they’re going to be resentful of the money you have. Even when you spend it on them. Ingrates.
omg same!
Not necessarily, complaining about money in what way. I'd say being financial conscious is important and making sure you have money to survive is key but if that's not the case and someone is being overly stingy then I understand.
Scarcity mindset is an ick
The problem with the 50/50 mindset, is that males only see the 50/50 from a finances stand point. But still expect us to take on 100% of everything else. If a man truly wants 50/50, then he needs to do 50% of the housework, 50% of the childcare, 50% of the emotional labor. etc. But NO, they want 50% while WE take on 150%. It used to be the men provides 100% financially, while the woman provides 100% domestically. but now that women contribute financially, we are expected to pay 50% of the bills, but men still don't expect themselves to do 50% of the domestic labor., so women take on 150% of the responsibility while they coast on 50%. Calling women gold diggers is another manipulative tactic these men use to force women to take on even more labor while they coast doing the absolute BARE MINIMUM.
FACTS!!!! Mine was better than this dude, paid EVERYTHING! But STILL was financially stupid enough when he died to leave us with 2 car payments and a mortgage and a KID to finish educating! Now I'm cleaning up t he mess!
BE CAREFUL!
And it is the loudest when comes to childcare! I just never saw a man putting the same effort into kids then the woman. They just don't have it in them. Providing is really the bare minimum when he has kids...
Come back to me dudes when you can go 50/50 on a pregnancy and its aftermath and long lasting change on my body.
Damn girl, I didn't realize him paying for dinner meant you were comitting to having his babies too.
@@Raigaara They're talking about men in general with that type of 50/50 mindset. Of course if the people on the date eventually commits to being in a relationship and if they progress beyond that.
My Dad always said, if a man cannot afford £30 to take you to dinner, he cannot afford a wife and family. If a man cannot afford to feed you, he cannot afford to feed you and his children.
Exactly!
You father seems traditional.
Your dad is Traditional?
If your Dad's wife was a homemaker then it's ok otherwise its not a good advice. 🙏
If I'm splitting the bill it means his date isnt adding value to my life, so I would be better served sharing that meal with a powerful female friend
Exactly since when you go out with a friend the pay for the fact that they asked you and took time out of your day that’s why I feel when you ask someone out you should pay if it’s the other way they should
If a man wants to split the bill, then that means he is not interested in you.
Men who are interested in women wouldn't dream of letting his dream women pay for anything.
When you go out on a date with a man always order a meal that you can afford incease he doesn't want to pay, then when the bill comes just pay it and walk out and block him from ever contacting you ever again.
Never tell a man where you live, either.
We have to teach these men how to treat us by not giving them our company.
@@winning3329 exactly and I was thinking that too or have money in case you need to leave
@@winning3329 and it’s funny how men who are fifty yet argue with women about it don’t mention that they would have paid if they were interested in the woman
amen to this.
If he wants to split the bill... you pay for your part, but make sure never to talk to him again.
I know that some people recommend abandoning him, but I agree about paying your part because it’s the SERVER that is on the hook for a bill that isn’t paid for. This is for common courtesy for the SERVER, not the loser XY.
Simple 💯💯I make sure I have my debit card and credit cards with me so when a guy tries it with me I pay and just go home and block him after
That's a good thing to do, A man shares a meal with you, not the bill. Splitting bills means instant ghost.@@cindychelsea784
"I thought we had a connection, why do you not want to see me again, guess you're shallow too 😭"
@@theobscenekiwi A man who is cheap with his wallet will also be cheap with his heart.
Whenever I see a man being stingy about money, I think about the woman who had just given birth, and the husband said she should pay the hospital bill with her own money. These 50/50 men will bleed you til your last drop if you allow them. Stay safe out there.
I hate that I’ve heard stories of women on maternity leave asked to dip into their savings to pay their half, more than once. Like I didn’t even think that level of cheapness existed.
@@malinasworld Right? I have to assume that if the first date is too much for them, everything else will be as well. We're believing people when they tell us what they are now.
Girl, wife asked for an epidural and when it was time to pay husband told her nope sis, you’re the one that wanted to be a princess. The horror
It’s never even 50/50. That’s just a tiny test. It’s gonna bleed you dry, in the end. I mean, most nasty men don’t come out even as blatant as this guy in the video. But he’s deliberately looking for a woman that’s going to immediately let him harm her left and right…and he’ll likely find one cuz it’s a numbers game. But often, it’s subtle and it comes with gaslighting and confusion. It’s a calculated thing whether the dude feels cognitive about it or not. Doesn’t matter the intentions…it matters the character, the understanding & where his respect lies. Don’t get drained over time…this is how we’re murdered. 🤷🏽♀️ Truly. Slow, painful, confusing death, trapped with a man who has no issues bleeding us for every wonderful thing we have and are.
@@malinasworld"Where there is no pride, there is no shame." If he doesn't pride himself as being a provider, he won't be embarrassed to ask for 50/50 financially, despite the non-financial value you add to his life, and the intrinsically feminine labor that you do.
Men always eat more than a woman. Splitting the bill is actually paying for the man's food. I rather pay for myself but never splitting cuz its just being swindled .
Good point. I barely touch appetizers, usually order a small meal, and hardly ever have room for dessert. I’d be paying for the other person’s food way more than mine.
If I was asked to "split" the bill, I am not going 50/50 but by the amount of food I ordered. If he ordered appetizers, drinks, deserts and ate most of it, I'm not paying for it.
Wait, but this literally happened to me on a date once. I ordered an appetizer as a meal because I wasn’t that hungry, and the guy ordered a full meal. His drinks were also more expensive than mine too. When they came with the check they were like how do you want to do this, and the guy looked at me and was like oh do we just want to split it? Like HUH? Your shit was more than mine? Never saw him again.
@@ksniderdesign The audacity. He took you out, refused to pay for the date, and expected you to pay for his meal. But these fools want to be in charge of us!
Yes when I hang out with friends who eat quit minimal, I just assume that I will pay the bill no splitting… cause I really eat a lot 😅
It's not even the nails. Girl It's the hair, the make up, the clothes, the skin care. That is expensive. The price is no joke.
I thought you were going to say that it’s actually about the time and focus. The date for girls can start all the way the day before so yeah… the dude takes up a lot of time way before even showing up and that’s a thing
It also takes time and mental energy to do hair, make up and pick out a cute outfit. Those are ressources too.
I once spend way to much time picking out clothes and doing make up for a walking date in a park with a guy who bailed after like 10 minutes, because I "wasn't opening up fast enough." Well, of course I wasn't. He was neither charming nor interesting. Infact he seemed bored and rude. And he was rather tall, like around 195 cm (I'm 164 cm), so he was downright intimidating for a smaller person like me.
Sometimes I think men don't even realize that they are intimidating. Especially when they offer a ride or a date at their place on the first date.
Then don't date if you can't afford to. Men have costs too.
@@DiscordBeing Then don't expect your date to look her best too.
@@DiscordBeing Women looking good is expensive if you can't even pay for the date don't expect a pretty girl on your arm.
Girl...i PAID for an expensive dinner for my last boyfriend and he said he had to tighten his budget so i said "i got it dont worry i got you on this"...then we went out our next date and had a 2 for $20 dinner and i didnt offer to split...apparently he felt he was being used. I was SPEECHLESS. Aint no way.
Help what 😂 He said “My money is my money, her money is my money 💅🏼”
And men have the AUDACITY to say women are the golddigers? 😅
Good to know he’s an ex
Yup hes an ex now, that and something he said sent the red flags off and I trusted my gut to end it. Im currently in the process of decentering men and got rid of all the numbers of men in my phone who fell below my standards. Lifes been peaceful since then.
Man don’t care if they had what they want they don’t care with anybody else, man don’t care about other man they only care about themselves
I'm not going out the door meeting a man if I have to pay for my own sht. I'd rather go out with a female friend then...
Or alone. If I’m paying then I’d rather not have some man breathing in front of me.
Exactly my thought, girlie...if I'm paying for myself, I'll be by myself or with a girlfriend
@@KeeSu15 This is the energy 🎉
Same here!
If he can't afford the first date, he can't afford the rest of them. He can't afford you. Girl, you deserve better.
Your right. He couldn't afford her and he should have dumped her immediately after the complaining.
so women are like cars?
I cannot stress enough importance on not letting men pick you up/ walk you home until you really know them. I had a situation where this guy kept showing up to my apartment. Scary stuff.
I've literally been dropped off at a random person's house rather than let a man know where I live. Men can be terrifying.
In my country 50/50 is very normalized. It is implanted in our culture and I am already fed up. The last date I had was horrible. I got ready, I put on makeup, I wore a nice outfit, I used my expensive perfume and everything for what? for a guy who came to the appointment dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and hadn't even brushed his teeth. I spent my beauty products (which are expensive), I spent money on gas, I spent my time and I had to pay for half of dinner. Furthermore, in my country the largest number of unemployed people are women despite the fact that women are the ones with the most education. The majority of women have precarious, temporary and poorly paid jobs. And on top of that, men have the shame of demanding 50/50.
What country?
Tell them up front that you’re not a believer of 50/50 relationships and you believe it’s usually only benificial for men and women suffer on it and if he doesn’t agree he shouldn’t get to date you.
God same. In my country it doesn’t matter how progressive a couple is and how modern and nuclear they want to be… the wife will end up taking care of the husband’s parents, relatives, and doing the most around the house while working and contributing to the household. This is the romantic future women face and men still want them to pay for their own coffees. Like at least *try* to sweeten the deal somehow?
Are you Austrian or German?
That's why you should be open to date out of your culture or at least let men know you will not date men like the norm in yours
They categorize and quantify EVERYTHING they do for us! Don’t worry. It’s time to be wise out here.
Once a boy asked me out, and after I told him I did not want to meet in his car but in a public space and told him the reason for it, he got offended and said I’m not that person and all kinds of bs. Needless to say I never spoke to him again. Creepy.
Oh I forgot to add to it: he kept insisting that we met up in his car (yes after i explained everything and that it’s about my safety).
I was so creeped out
He placed his "insulted" feelings over your safety. Good call.
And even if he doesnt like that, he should know its for safety reasons and women dont want to take chances like that. He was a red flag a considerate man would understand what you mean
Had a guy change his plans last minute to "no I won't meet you there, just tell me your adress and I'll pick you up". Disrespecting my time is already a red flag, but that made me think he'd might murder me. Soms guys really don't care about our safety.
You dont need to explain shit. You dont have to say "its for safety reasons". Men know how men are. You dont have to explain it to them. He knew what he was doing. He knew why you said no. A man who respects you in the first place would never make such a proposition.
Last year a man invited me to Milan and paid for everything during the weekend. I had a room to myself.
If they value you enough, they will take good care of you. I can't go back to cheap mentality men after that.
Good for you girl cus we fighting guys to even pay for McDonald’s 😭
@@AUGHHHHHBBG I am at a point where I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than dating cheap mentality men. Since I took this decision, I have been thriving.
@@christelle9122 as you should. I think alot of women need one really good man to date atleast once in their life to be able to see that they don’t need to settle for scraps
@@AUGHHHHHBBG I think it's also about how we treat ourselves. I took the habit of treating myself on a regular basis. With a good meal, with some jewelry, etc. And I am very far from being rich. Now that I stopped exhausting myself by running after men (or other relationships!), I invest this time and money in myself. As a result, I am more balanced, can see more clearly and I'm very well rested.
@@christelle9122 definitely I’m a full advocate for taking yourself on dates cus when your so comfortable being alone this man need to compete with not any other men. They need to compete with you cus they need to add more to what you already have. A girl who comfortable being alone is the one these guys scared of. They hate independent women cus they know they need to work harder than doing bare minimum cus a women is desperate
among friends we separate our bills clearly, but we treat eachother from time to time
Literally facts. The only way I would pay for anyone is if I owed them a favor for helping me, felt like being generous, or if it’s their birthday.
Yeah… I’m not going to pay for other people for no reason just to be appear “not icky” , kinda disagree with the video where she basically said she only hanging out with gal friends who pays for her
It's not what she said though it's more of the people who get on and on about every last dolar, having it separate from the beginning or splitting it evenly is not what she is talking about here. like some people will ask you to vinmo them one dollar or less sometimes like bffr t@@lunamita
💯 if it's not a gift, split it. I feel like if you don't split one person ends up consistently paying more and it builds resentment over time. Just split and skip the drama
My friends and I take turns. We don’t get to see each other often so when we meet up the person who proposed the idea wants to treat the other and make sure they feel spoiled and adored.
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a date and not two platonic friends catching up. My bad" 😅
Imagine a world where all woman collectively puts their foot down and say I'm enough
I'm not jumping through hoops and I'm not putting myself down to be with a man
Imagine 🤯
Most of us are too desperate.
@@truffaut650truffaut6Very. It’s embarrassing.
Men would go to war again to try and get us
This! Lots of us are finally waking up, but unfortunately there are still a lot of pickmeishas out there encouraging the BS!
The "pick me women" are the ones who ruined everything for us respectable women.
Like Shera said if you are paying and not getting from these men , you have been robbed. 🏃. Thanks Elle. ❤
My dad told me that a woman NEVER pays for a date. The man ALWAYS pays for the date. the ONLY time it MAY be acceptable for the woman to pay for the date is if she took him out for his birthday. and my dad would have even given that the side eye. He believed that the best birthday dinners were at home. where she cooked for him. Mr Man and I are the same way. He ALWAYS pays for date night. I tried to pay for his birthday dinner last year, and he pitched a fit! Dad always said, A man pays for the date, but have cash on you to pay if he turns into a bum. If he does, you are NOT to see him ever again. This only happened to me once. And you bet your buttons I never saw that man again. My Mom told all her friends what happened, apparently, their daughters were not allowed to date this guy either, I wonder what poor pickmisha ended up with him.
I love this whole comment. Your dad and mom know what’s up 😂. Your mom even told her friends? That’s a girl’s girl. Let the pickmes deal with the riffraff. Spoiled girlies stay spoiled.
😂👏🏾
The point is women have great market value. If a man wants a woman in his life, bc of the market value she provides him, he will have to pay for it. It’s simple economics.
@@gray3508 You're on the internet crying about something that doesn't concern you, that's what's hilarious.
@@gray3508 i don’t have an opinion on who pays the bill but I find it so funny when men say this. Women ask to be treated with equal RESPECT as men. Which means they don’t want to be the targets of sexual and domestic violence, as well as all sorts of discriminatory practices in the workplace and at home. Women never said that they want to be exactly like men, become soldiers in wars and play sports against men. But for some reason men who go « women want to be equal except …! » always pretend the two are the same.
I went on a coffee date with a doctor once, and he didn‘t even buy me a coffee. I wanted to leave, but I stayed. He then treated the date like an interview. He later wrote me for a second date; I never responded.
Yeah, if you do not want to buy me a cup of $5 coffee when you asked me out. Then, I out of there since I am not gonna go out with guy that do not want me 😅
Generous and rich are two different things. They can be rich but stingy at soul. You don't need rich men, you can have middle class man who is considerate enough. Gezz. If that was me, I'd buy two drinks, one for me and one for his cheap butt and say it's my treat.
Omg sameeee!!!!! With different guys who have really good jobs and some even brag about how much money they make. But then they can’t pay $5?!? I don’t care if it’s a “test” and you were “going to pay for dinner on the second date.” I’m already turned off. Bye!
@@mayumi5921according to my grandparents who happily married, man who has a good income doesn’t equal he treats his girlfriend or wife well. My grandpa was really broke when he met grandma, but he tried to make everything better. (Her family was richer), after they married, he slowly became one of the most important person in that industry, made A LOT money, and gave all the money to her, because “he felt sorry that he couldn’t afford her more when they were younger”
He still sends her jewelries as gifts after he retired. Till this day! They already been together over 60 years.
Dude my ex made me go half and half ON OUR THREE MONTHS ANNIVERSARY. The italian owner of the restaurant stared at me in horror and I prayed the earth would open and swallow me whole. So embarrassing🥴
My ex decided to get back together, invited me to flower market, (he promised me to show where is it before we broke up,) on a way I wanted to drink, we came to shop, a seller gave me a bottle of water and looked at my guy... And looked again.... And again) I paid myself,cause second hand embarrassment was too much. Then we finally arrived to flower market. Ex told me - that is the market. Look! .... He literally brought me there to show it to me. No flowers gifting involved. I bought some flower pots and made him at least carry them to my place. And he was still thinking that his actions would lead him to sex😂
Glad to see the word EX in these sentences ladies ❤
Who celebrates 3 month anniversary? Anniversaries are meant to be a yearly celebration. It's in the word.
But did u die?
You just said it was your 3 month anniversary no?
Girls, please get off dating apps. This kind of behavior from men is more prevalent on apps. They are trying to meet as much woman as possible in a cheap way.
What's really helped me find quality gentlemen was going out in the world. If you're financially able to, start taking lessons, sign up for classes, go out for lunch more often, etc.
I started taking golf and tennis lessons (expensive) but worth it. I've met some amazing men this way. They always plan dinner dates or shows and always bring flowers.
I can't remember the last time a guy asked me to go on a coffee date or split the bill.
I agree
So what's wrong with a coffee date? That's the best way a guy can see if you are interested in him or not.
Some girls are using these apps for free meal tickets while date more that one guy at the same time.
@@TiktokBro154 hi there, I don’t know your age, but generally speaking if you’re taking a grown woman ( for example a woman in her thirties) then you should be able to afford a nice restaurant, flowers and such as you should be giving your all whether she would say yes or not.
On the other hand if you are a high schooler or a university student, yes! It would be acceptable to have a coffee date as it’s understandable that that’s within your budget.
THIS! The quality of men that you are going to meet largely depends upon the setting in which you meet them, for the most part. If you’re meeting someone in a setting that has a higher barrier to entry, chances are they are going to have the means to live the kind of lifestyle that you want to live as well. Anyone can make a profile on a dating app.
"All men are sexist." This. I always felt somewhat like this but never exactly understood it. She explained it so well.
When I see a man like this, who expects to split the bill, on the first date no less, I see a man who swipes right to every woman he sees, and he doesn’t even like the woman he is taking out. These men are just waiting out the clock until they get sex, and then they bail. Men need to be expected to invest financially, because then they might think about whether or not they actually like the woman they are dating. If he isn’t investing in the relationship, financially and emotionally, then he doesn’t like you, and is just trying to get something out of you.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Exactly - bingo!!
Seeing videos like this makes me glad I'm not from the US. In my culture, the one who makes the invitation pays and the man always pays, regardless if the invitation is from a woman.
This was common courtesy here in the US, too! I’m 31 and was appalled when my former boss asked to go on a double date and then demanded to split the bill. Where did basic manners go?! If you ask someone out and esp if you’re a guy or the boss of employees, this is so simple.
I WISH there was a US-only problem. Such situations and even are very common in my country.
Oh no, I'm from US and I never have paid for any single date meals since I met my husband. It's about 50% shot you will see in those men. Though here for friends, they don't believe in paying for friends, but still believe in paying for their ladies. Again 50% chance you'll have. The chance of him being a gentleman is much higher if you meet him offline, not online.
I recently left a 6.5 year relationship where he used me financially and took my virginity. I'm so grateful to have been exposed to other women who encourage me to see my value. Still, having only dated one person (who I totally threw myself at and begged to pay for) I'm so scared of going on a date with someone or letting a man know that I expect him to pay for a date. If I had ever stood up and refused to pay for my ex he would have retaliated. I have so many mental blocks that make me automatically want to do all the work. I want to know more about how other women are communicating their needs and the video where she gets out of his car was really helpful for me.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I have a similar past experience with a long term relationship. I’ll tell you what I wish someone would have told me: take your time to heal from that relationship. Put yourself first and focus on building a strong self-esteem and value for yourself so when you are ready to date again if the “below bare minimum low effort men” try you, you can recognize it and not entertain their dusty games. You’ll know your worth and immediately reject the trash. 😊❤ Sending you a warm hug, girlie!
Oh my dear sweet friend. I am going to be your big sis here for a second, so indulge me if you will. First. that guy was JUST a season. That season is done, but you learned some valuable things from it. Next. I want you to write out a list of ALL the things that he did or did not do that you now consider unacceptable. When you are done with that, I want you to take that list and split it into two parts. What you will no longer accept on the left, what you want instead on the right. Yes, I know this seems tedious and a lot of work, But the human brain works in lists. Now I want you to look at this list often. Every day, Everytime you get ready to go on a date, Anytime you feel the sneaky snake of despiration start to crawl in. (Fair warning it will) Remember that there will always be SOME men that will try to get you away from finding your king. they will say things like. You are too picky. You don't deserve treatment like that, Who do you think you are? Remember, dudes like that are the court jesters, and the QUEEN does not MARRY the court jester. And, I want you to FREAKING BINGE WATCH ELLE'S videos. Watch them over and over again if you have to. Watch them when you are writing out your "WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT" list. And find your Spoiled girly tribe. Your King is looking for you as much as you are looking for him, and he is OUT THERE! But you have to get through the crap men first. YOU are the prize, I don't care what ANY man may have told you in the past, if it is not on the lines of YOU are the prize? it is a lie. And they are saying these thing because they KNOW that they are not worthy of you, and still want to be with you. Just smile and pass them on to a pick misha.
Just watch all her videos girlie. That’ll help a lot.
I would highly suggest therapy. Clearly that relationship effected your self esteem and maybe even some childhood trauma. Most likely your dad was either absent or not invested in raising your self worth and self esteem. As the result this relationship with your ex happened and you were codependent for so long. I am not judging you here at all, just trying to process the facts. Some wounds we carry from previous relationships are deep and a good psychologist could help you immensely.wish you happiness, love, peace of mind and abundance!
Eww, asking someone out and then expecting them to pay, is like asking someone over for dinner and then expecting them to bring groceries and cook half of it, and then do the dishes.....ew. so cring!
Where I’m from if you invite good friends over for dinner they will bring a dish and offer to help with the cooking cleanup etc 💜 it’s community
My toxic ex would alwaysss invite me to eat his leftover dinner meals, but then next time we hung out he’d ask me to pay for his lunch since he “made me dinner.” Wtf. And btw, to these dinners he’d make me bring wine or beer. So on top of just helping him eat leftovers when he was bored, I have to now fund his next meal? Ugh I cant believe how dumb I was!
The fact that he only video'd the end part of the bill , shows to me that he planned this from day 1. He probably intentionally looked for ANY female on tinder to ask on a date in order to humiliate her on purpose, video it, then post it. He NEVER wanted an actual date with this woman.
He was acting like he was innocent because he was recording. It’s all manipulation. If the camera wasn’t on, I’m sure he would’ve matched her disgust and/or said a mouthful more. 🤬😑
I had a Hinge date with what turned out to be a below-bare-mininum-effort, who, first of all, was 30 min late bc I didn't confirm the second time he asked that day until I was leaving (bc I was busy doing my hair and makeup 😒). I had a feeling it was going to be a waste of time for some reason, but I went anyway and bought myself a drink while I waited for his late ass. I looked cute as hell, wore heels, whole 9 yards, and this man shows up in a henley and jeans. Okay, fine. Date was okay, he bought me one drink, we went our separate ways. I was on the fence, but when he asked if I wanted to go out again, I decided it was a no after some consideration, and told him so as kindly as possible (your girl doesn't believe in ghosting). He then proceeds to say "oh btw, you should pay for your own food and drink if you dont want to go out again. You're 40, you should know this."
First of all, I'm 37, but I'm not insulted by his attempt to age-shame me bc I'll be just as hot at 40, thanks (and know lots of gorgeous queens of all ages). Second of all, the audacity by this man who asked ME out. I replied with, "Oh no! If I'd known my one martini would break you, I certainly would not have allowed you to pay for it." And blocked him on all platforms.
I spent at least an hour on myself for this waste of an evening, the least you can do is buy me a single beverage, especially after I already bought myself one WHILE WAITING FOR YOU.
Now, my current boyfriend has made it clear from day 1 that he values me, pays for things wherever he can, and constantly wants to make me happy. And picked up the tab for all of our initial dates ❤
As someone who also comes a culture that fights to pay the bill among friends, it gives me a bigger ick when a man from my same culture complains about paying for the date because I ended the date with just kissing and not having sex. Like what?
Nah cus these men not gentlemen no more like I know men who will get mad if I try to pay
They look at dating as subsidised prostitution fr
A man who asks a woman on a date and he asks you to split it (go 50-50), my advice to women to this is just pay for your half for the date and don’t see that man again and lose contact with him. This is the best solution in my opinion.
Always
The least a man can do is tell a woman upfront - "I'd like for us to go out on a DUTCH date". Then she can decide if that's something she wants to spend precious time doing. And she would also have input on the day, time, and venue, and could more easily pick a place that she can afford. These men that ASK women out, CHOOSE to go to an expensive place, and THEN spring it on a woman that she needs to pay 50%?? And she had NO say so in where and when?? What if she just had to pay for a big car repair, had to pay a babysitter, doesn't get paid for another 2 weeks, etc ?? That's just wrong. At least be upfront about it and give her a CHOICE, so she gets to decide if his company is worth all that.
@@K.L.Garner-uk6cdExactly! At the minimum, the below minimum effort men should do this and let her know ahead so she could prepare to see if it's worth the company or not. They know if they do this, the women won't go out. Also, those stingy men eat a lot, probably eat 2/3 and the woman 1/3 then ask her to slit half. How ❓️ 😅
I used to think that going 50-50 on dates is the ethical thing to do. I quickly realised that when I did that eventually that guy got friendzoned cz I pay for myself with my girl gang, I started seeing him as just another friend. He simply didn't stand out to me. There was no malicious intent on both sides but it just how it is.
so 2 years ago, this childhood friend of mine was going to get married. But his fiance leave him 1 week before their marriage. She left. She didn't tell him why and ghosted everyone. This crushed him. he was blindsided by it and depressive for months.
I saw her at a party few months laters and we talked a little and she was very nice and we didn't mention him at all. however she talked a lot about her new boyfriend and how nice and how much he listened to her. As if every men she met before weren't listening. So I had my answer why she's with this guy and why she left my friend.
Once my friend was better and able to talk about what happen he told me that what hurt the most Is having no answers. he could not understand that she wasn't happy while he was "soo in love". And I didn't know what to tell him.
Back to 2024 he's gonna marry a girl in 4 month and his ex fiance is fiance with her boyfriend.
Back then I didn't know her and supposed she got cold feet and let because she wasn't ready.
But now seen him with another women and how attentive and sweet he his to his soon wife. it made me wonder how much did he made his ex fiance suffer for her to leave. he a good guy but I just know he wasn't as attentive, caring and open as he is now. Of course she could have told him he wasn't listening to her need and that why she left, but let be real she must have already told him billions of time and the preparation of the weeding must have been the last straw. I'm glad she left and that my friend worked on his own issue on himself, he really reflected on his behaviour.
he didn't had the work done by his ex, he had to grow and it wasn't her job to give him the key when she already did so many time before. This really made me reflect a lot on relationships. and kinda realise that he had to waist 3 years of his ex + 1 years of depression to grow. Out of both misery instead of listening to her.
Conclusion : don't tell men what they did wrong. Don't waist your time. Even if it make you the bad guy. Men are going to argue back, ignore your feelings and insult you. Let them grow on their own or rest miserable. You are not their mom it's not your job to educate every men you meet. Do it like the ex fiance, she's now happy with a guy who fulfilled her needs.
This one guy and me were walking home after date when he felt hungry and asked me if I was to and I said no, so he went to get a pizza for himself and he didn’t have enough money so I had to pay for him. Imagine asking me if I was hungry knowing that you don’t have enough money for yourself, that was just cringe, not to mention that before that he was looking at wine and was like do I want one and then before I even answered he said it’s too much for him, but it was not too much for him to ask me to sleep with him before we even get to know each other.
Bruhhh one of my exes did something like this, we were out in my birthday and he said he was hungry, so we went into a cafe and only bought food for himself. He said he would have gotten me something but he didn’t enough cash 💀 And no he didn’t give or do anything for me that day aside from a lazy card and costume jewellery.
@@malinasworld girl that is just sad, I hope you find someone worthy of your love one day🫶🏻
These below bare minimum effort men can have NOTHING but they'll still have the audacity.
girls, this is so real! i am lucky enough that my bf knows how to take care of a woman and he is comfortable in his masculine energy to take care of me. he knows how valuable i am to him and it hurts when i see other woman get treated like this :c i met my bf on a dating app too, and i got all dolled up for our first date. of course, he enjoyed every second of it and he kept complimenting me on how gorgeous i looked. he did not let me pay for a single thing. i did not open my wallet once the whole day. he obviously paid for food and drinks. but then he also took me to sephora and told me i could get anything i wanted in the store. mind you, he is still a college student so i did not even expect him to take me to sephora of all places to buy something, but he did it anyway because he wanted to treat me. a man's money does not exist when he truly cherishes and loves a woman! please do not settle for less besties!!
❤
Such a cute story 😍 I'm happy you are being treated right!
@@ayesha_h thank you!!
This is so wholesome God bless y'all ❤
But how do you make your standarts known? Like I don't wanna say in front of their face "I expect you to pay for me", bc that's kinda rude and arrogant.
He said "see ya", she said "good bye". He thought he's get another shot, she was like GOODBYE. It doesn't work like that. 50/50 are never gonna change. She's a runner she's a track star😂
Honestly I remember 2 years ago when people were arguing on going 50-50. I remember people saying that a woman should pay for the first date until I brought up the idea of respect and how the gesture of paying for the first date is all about respect and not the monetary price
Right.
If he doesn’t have the money he shouldn’t date. If he doesn’t know she’s worth it yet, don’t spend a lot. Do a cheap but cute date and take her on a good one once she’s worth it.
But men that refuse to pay? Gross
@@JustMe-vs1kjBy that logic(which is basically null)woman who doesn't have money also shouldn't date. And woman who doesn't pay and goes fully to expect man to pay for the whole dinner are gross🤮. It's 2023 I will never date a woman who thinks like such a narcissist expecting a guy to pay for everything and that to on a first date yuck.
@@user-lb9nz1ld7f Then I ask you which gender typically asks the other one out? Let say your friend asks you to go to a certain place and you accept. Keep in mind, your friend doesn't tell you the bill will be spilt. You guys go and enjoy yourselves. When the bill comes, your friend randomly drops they will be spitting the bill. Obviously, in that situation that wouldn't be right since your friend asks you to go to an outing under the requisite they will be paying and not warning you it will be 50/50.
@@standia That's a very stupid example, if my friend asks me to go to a certain place with me I am not so narcissistic to think that he will pay for everything, I accepted it and as a decent human being share the price.
@user I’m not talking about male friends you should be going 50-50 on friends not on a man pursuing you. There’s a difference!!
Elle, please do a video about the couple who are asked how much they have in their respective bank accounts and when she says $70K, he dumps her on the spot! The comments for this one from the BBMLEM are a rich seam to mine. 🌟
Wait, what?! Why would he dump her for that??
@ptlovelight2971 because he only had $1500, so he thought she should be paying because he believes in the 50/50 nonsense. x
Can you link to that video?
What the name of the video?
I would politely and calmly walk right out. No explaining, no anger, he would GET NOTHING.
If you don't pay fur the food that you eat then he can legally sue you
The way he spoke to her like she was a child when she got out of the car 🤮 Why are there so many women who dont leave the date when the dude acts up! I would have taken the bus home or something!!
If you can’t afford to take someone out, then don’t invite someone out. He invited her to that place, he could have invited her to something he could afford. Like you said, he brought her to this restaurant/bar to look like he has the money for it - using her and her money to look like he’s more successful than he is.
5:29 men leave women all the time bc they let go! That goes to show how much looks matter!
I have literally gotten up and left in the middle of a date🤣🤣🤣 I will go over to the waiter and explain to them that this was a date, and I am not paying and you can forward the bill to him. Absolutely not. I’m done with this 50/50 shit and I’ve never even actually done it🤣
👑
You are such an icon🦾
Queen 👑 enough said !
@@Nbm290 because I was asked to go on a date, and I do not pay for dates and he KNEW about this before even mentioning splitting the bill or going on the date, so at this point not only has he disrespected me once, but he has disrespected me twice.
@@Nbm290 if I tell someone my boundary and they choose to disrespect me, then they deserve nothing from me.
It kind of sounds like you’re blaming me for someone else’s inability to respect me. Either way I will do it again you’re not going to change my mind.
My boundary is my boundary and honestly you don’t even need to be watching her videos if you’re arguing with me over this because I’m sure Elle would agree.
His lack of situational awareness is astonishing but not surprising. He'll find his PickMeisha soon enough.
And you'll soon find a financialky abusive man. Karma!
@@DiscordBeingew you're weird lmao
And Ik you liked your own comment 😭😭
I went to an etiquette school when I was a teenager, and the dating protocol that was popular in the 1800s and 1900s is STILL RELEVANT in the 2000s. Here’s how it works (put a bubble in your mouth and turn up your listening ears, modern men) -
The person who ASKS the other person on a date is RESPONSIBLE for PAYING THE ENTIRE BILL. If there is an expectation that everyone will pay for their own expenses, that has to be defined BEFORE going on the outing, AND it is treated as a PLATONIC meetup, NOT as a ROMANTIC meetup.
Ladies, make sure that you take enough money to cover your date and transportation in case some loser XY tries to pull the okey-doke on you, then BLOCK him! It’s not your problem if he can’t pay for his bill. I recommend this instead of abandoning him because the SERVER is typically on the hook for a bill that’s not paid for, so it’s courtesy for the SERVER, not on the loser XY.
Women should keep cash on themselves when going on a date. SHAME HIM! If you have the misfortune of this happening, stand up, back a foot away from the table, pull your half of the payment out of your wallet and throw the cash on the table. THEN WALK THE HELL OFF! SPEED AWAY IN YOUR CAR!!!
EDIT: Drive your own vehicle or get an Uber!
I'm a lesbian and I was raised that the man pays the bill. I took this to mean that as I'm the more masculine woman with good means, I FOUGHT to pay the bill for my gf and my first date 😂 she insisted we split it so after much debate (it was adorable debate, not hateful or hurtful. I'd never do that to her) we did. She's a super talented artist and I'm a violin maker so we click perfectly 😊
If I were in her position, I would've called a cab from the restaurant.
honestly , if a man doesnt want to pay for a girl, he isnt ready for a relationship or responsibility
tbh when I started watching you i was a no nuance Nelly because of a lifetime of feeling like I'm not worthy enough for other people. Also, the thought of letting someone pay for me or treat me made me feel shame. I got out of a situation with a well off man who would constantly call me a gold digger "as a joke" for asking to borrow a dollar to buy a snack at university when I wasn't carrying my bag. Now I'm getting to know a man who doesn't have much, he's still building himself up, but gives me so much of what little he has. He is so generous with his time and attention and I feel for the first time ever like I'm finally getting exactly what I want.
To all the girls/women reading this. YOU ARE WORTHY. You are worthy of a love that makes you feel like you're the only woman in the planet. You deserve to feel loved, cared for, you deserve to feel safe. And if you're not getting it where you are now, give yourself the chance to go out there and find it (or let it find you).
if you're broke, you shouldn't be dating, you should be working to be a real man who can provide for a woman & family. period.
So true
Every guy whining about “building together” needs to understand this. No woman is marrying and starting a family with you until you are financially stable. You have to work for that.
and when we say this they call us gold diggers, like what @@becca53444
and real women should cook and clean always? or do you have double standars?
I’ve been an actor since I was 2 and you would not BELIEVE how many male careers I have progressed just cause I was their plus one standing next to them. And I had no idea in the moment.
“You know my girl Megan, right? She’s on Orange is the new black”
Right????? I’m a successful artist and so many guys have made sure to be seen with me. ❤
@@FireSilver25 it’s so crazyyyyy to think that they’re are people making more money off our names than we’d even think to.
Indeed you are giving him access. They lie so often and hide their intentions. I wish you will be surrounded by caring people
Wow, you are so on point with the trophies comment. I have always said men are the original gold diggers. Men choose based on looks, women choose based on stability and security.
I hate it when people are fussy with the bill too. How about I just pay $20 over what mine is and call it even
I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets so turned off by doing any math at the table 😂
I had a boyfriend who never let me pay for anything, literally anything, and after 2.5 years we broke up (it was mutual, the values were not matching) he still payed for my LA rent and my LA lifestyle for a couple of months because he realized that for the length of out entire relationship I was investing my time in him, not in my career, so I had whatever time I need to figure out my job situation, and until I did, my lifestyle was on the same level as it was before. Now paying for my MEAL on a date with a random guy sounds absolutely ridiculous. The bar is set.
I just want to say, I wish I had a friend like you when I was in my 20s. Only now that I'm in my early 30s am I realizing how much time, energy and love I have given to men who didn't really treasure me the way I wanted. Watching this video reminded me of the time my ex confronted me while we were at the restaurant that I should start paying or split the bill at least. It was so aggressive, I was taken aback. It's not like I never offered before or anything like that but I didn't have a job yet at that time and he took me out. So why was he being so mean about it? I also gave him wifey treatment without a ring or being treated as such. Only now I'm single again and thriving in my career that I realize how much that relationship drained me. I showed to every event he had to show me off, but any time I had an event for work or friends, he refused to go. Never again am I doing any of that.
I love that you are turning us into spoiled girlies 💗
That's why I don't dress up in dates. If he says I'm paying half I'm gonna dress as if it were a dinner with friends.
all women knows this, if we don't look a certain way, there's no way men would even consider dating you. heck, if you don't look a certain way, men treat you as if you are invisible....
So not a true statement, dating apps has made some women not even noting the average man who is local to them, those men are invisible. Instead they are no longer looking for love but instead looking for the men who has already work hard to get themselves where they are and join them at the finish line after he has got where he is and made his money. So most of these women are looking for the same men.
@patrickwilliams6464 I mean, what would we do with a man who has no money? Considering the fact that many men aren't loyal. I'm a gorgeous woman, but because I don't have a "sexy" body, men make me feel invisible when it comes to choosing a wife. So, she's right.
I always think of this as the orange peel theory: yes, i can pay for it (as well as I can peel an orange...) but why would I? If you like/love me SHOW ME. Actions speak louder than words.
If you can’t afford her then you can’t be with her
So basically you’re saying women are a financial liability and only good for sex and company. And possibly producing children (more financial liabilities) This comment section is wild.
In case you're in a situation like this, just pay and never speak to the dude again politely. Don't confront a guy you don't know as though he's your boyfriend. This guy diffused his entitlement and rage by broadcasting this incident to the Internet, but often that won't be the case and you'll be on the receiving end of the entitlement and rage
so true. and a lot of men actually get off on riling up women, as I suspect it’s the case with this guy. it’s not worth it
Also YESSSS so many dudes like that are secretly into guys and don't know it yet! Sounds so weird but is so true.
You reminded me so much to my late gramps. He taught me so well that "a man's wife is a man's reflections. If a man looks good, so his wife. And it's the man's responsibility".
Like for real. My granma dropped out university and stopped her radio carreer just to marry and having kids with him. And in return he HE PAID HER to get better education and re-pursue her college. But instead my granma chose to get into beauty school and she had a huge beauty bussiness here.
What a chad. We lost him 3 years ago and he's the best father figure I've had tbh.
LISTENING to Elle while focusing on building my career.... So that when I actually enter the DATING era...I don't tolerate bare minimum.... And have HIGH STANDARDS....
💯💯💯
I wouldn't hang the argument for men paying for dates on the fact that women pay for their appearance. I say this because not all women invest much into her own appearance to begin with. So a man may start to think he shouldn't have to pay for a date because he chose to date a woman that doesn't get her nails done or because he spent just as much money on his own appearance as she did. Don't get me wrong, I like your argument and I think it's valid, but I think it's rooted in social and cultural trends, thus it's more relative and subject to change. Instead I think we should root our arguments in the collective. As in, the more objective collective differences between men & women.
Such examples of collective objective differences include:
If women's peak fertility window is shorter than a man's, then women take more risks regarding "wasting time", thus our time is more valuable than men's. If sex is riskier for women than for men, then women's sex is more valuable than men's, if women's physical safety is more at risk in dating a man than a man's safety is in dating a woman, then her presence is more valuable. The result is that women take more risks in dating than a man does, and financial risks is one of the few areas wherein men take a disproportionate risk. If women were to split bills 50/50, then she's essentially subsidizing men's risks while men aren't subsidizing hers. That's NOT "50/50".
I agree with all the collective differences you expanded on. But with the pink tax and women’s higher grooming and beauty standards, I think the greater investment in appearance is common enough to be relevant. There are few women who would walk into a first date done up the same way they would on a quick run to the corner store (but good for those few honestly). Men haven’t lowered their standards in the decades gone by, yet they want to pay less anyway.
Great points 🍒
Great (and true) arguments!! 👏 Bravo!!
The more I watch your channel, the more I learn and the more I agree. I'm done being the chill girl that is totally ok with paying half on a date and other things. When I dated a generous man, I felt awkward and not deserving of his kindness. Now I realize that I should have just happily accepted everything he wanted to offer to me.
I dont even get the issue cuz what??? Men who wanna take you out so bad and without even paying for the date?? Never once on a date have I even been asked to split the bill. Real gentlemen don’t ask or show the bill to you. It’s common sense to them.
I wouldn't be mad. But I would never go on another date with him lol. It's over if I have to pay
This is exactly what I said! I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was upset about it, but he would be immediately blocked, and I would have nothing more to do with him ever again because, clearly, our values do not align.
@@sparkling_elegance Same Girl. Same.
Slap cash on the table and vanish into an ethereal mist, never to be seen again (by him)
This has to be a skit because what man would record this situation? How are you not embarrassed?
Girlies, please start ghosting men if they don’t pay and don’t get in a stranger’s car.
Whoever asked pays. How is this even a discussion.
If you want to make it clear you can say at the most that you wanna get to know them better or spend more time with them and look at their reaction.
Never ever ask a man out
the sperm chase the egg, not the other way around. biology rules!
@@andromeda1903 If someone invites you to their birthday party, you don't pay for the cake and the pizza and other complementaries. The person who invited you does. You took time out of your life for that person and so they are responsible for paying. Likewise whoever proposes the date should be the one paying.
@atheon596
That and also the person offering knows they can cover. Unless you have other arrangements discussed. Usually guys ask girls out, so then men pay. But you can treat your bf on his birthday to his favorite restaurant, because that is just a nice surprise.
Like imagine inviting ppl to your wedding and saying its BYOB. Imagine throwing a birthday party and saying everyone needs to provide their own cake and bring the decorations. I would call those ppl bums and not attend 😂 and a man who is too stingy to pay when asking YOU out is a bum.
Dating american men is very underwhelming. I did 4 different coffee dates last year and wished i stayed home everytime.
Men don’t really care about nails, especially long, “artsy” ones, but they care deeply about hair, makeup, clothes. Show up without investing heavily in these and he will walk out feeling cheated. 😂
Girls,even if you show up without makeup,nails,fancy clothes etc. you are still valuable ❤️
Right or poor, stingy men are not only stingy financially, but usually also stingy emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It doesn’t matter how rich he is, it’s not worth it.
I have no problem paying for myself but I have a problem with men who are stingy. If you can't pay on a first date, you have no business being on a first date.
exactly, like a man who was truly ready for dating would be enjoying the company not worrying about an appetizer, such loser behavior
Preach louder for the men in the back please 😩🙌
If you can't pay for the food you eat in the first date why you going for first date with someone anyways ?? Men or women doesn't matter
@@alanancy3178 I can pay for the food. But I'm not going out with a friend. I am going out on a date. On a date, men usually pay. That's why it's called a "date".
They he kept on saying “see ya” as if he’s entitled to a response🙄
im asking myself like why is she in the car with him even after that ordeal, like now he's having extra access to her... ON HER DIME!!!! .. like as soon as this goes down, gworl! call up that Uber, you might as well since you already paid for your meal.
And the dude has the audacity to have a pikachu face like what he did wasn't wrong... like dude. YOU ASKED HER OUT! How much lamer can you be. See, this is why you're single. Women, let's do our diligence and not entertain men like these so they can experience and feel shame to the core.
It’s like…so you’re trying to make this woman who is a stranger see you as dating material but then you behave in a way that portrays you as either stingy or broke…why would she ever agree to see you again?
Why on earth did she get in the car? 🤦♀️
20:17 I have this trick called "My father told me...", where I tell men something my father told me, but in actuality, I came up with it myself. Because men will listen to another man more than to me, a woman.
elle is so right about making spoiled girlfriends a priority! my besties and i literally pay for each other when it comes to dinners, travels, treatments etc. obviously we have the financial ability to do so but i deadass can't fathom entertaining this nonsense from any person.
it's just so petty and bizarre. i would pay my half and never see that person again
this is so true even when I’m in dire financial straits, if one of my girl friends is going through a bad time I’m gonna send her some money to take care of herself, to get a nice meal or go out and do something fun. and I know if I ask them for help, they will do the same. We never owe each other anything!
I will also thank God from saving me from you.
He's a beta man which is why she felt safe confronting him. There is nothing intimidating about him.
So you would be okay if he was a scary man 😂 make some sense
If you don't feel safe advocating for yourself, you shouldn't be around that person
Your closing tag line is my favorite part. Thank you for helping educate women about our value. It's so overdue in this world. ❤
I’ve gone on dates with men who got offended if you offered to split. Can’t win either way.
Where can I find them? "Asking for a friend".
I'm huge in splitting with friends but not in a negative way. My friends and I all come from a mutual place of respect.
"You ordered an appetizer, i didn't even touch"- it's so cringy, low and so pity that even if a friend does it to me, in the table, I don't want to hang out anymore!
I would've left mid date. Got my food to go and got an Uber like a same person without word exchange. He can go date his bros he wanna impress so much. There are plenty of pick me. I won't add to that number