the downfall of dating apps, “nice” guys, right wing women, and revelations
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- Опубліковано 17 тра 2024
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In this podcast episode, Elle delves into the downfall of dating apps, focusing on Bumble. She discusses the controversy surrounding Bumble's recent billboard ads and the backlash primarily from women. Elle then delves into the history of Bumble, founded by Whitney Wolfe Herd, and its evolution from being a female-friendly dating app to one which is criticized for shaming women. Elle also explores how dating apps are part of the sharing economy. She asserts that women, in this context, are treated as underused assets that are used for their time and attention. Drawing on Andrea Dworkin's book "Right Wing Women", Elle explores the idea that both left and right-wing men are guilty of “using” women, with left-wing men often being worse. She suggests that the so-called seggsual liberation movement did not lead to women's freedom, but rather to their further subjugation.
![men* date OUT of their league then ruin women's lives [the paradoxical cycle]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lFS1UmdWTQU/mqdefault.jpg)
![men* date OUT of their league then ruin women's lives [the paradoxical cycle]](/img/tr.png)
![your feelings are valid - don’t listen to men and pickmes [$6 engagement ring]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XEpD5nLco7s/mqdefault.jpg)
"conservative men see us as private property and liberal men see us as public property" ... 🤯🤯🤯
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Yeah this is an amazing and accurate observation.
@aquiestapedro you cared enough to watch and comment though
Really? I thought it was only conservatives.
@@aquiestapedro lol, i doubt it
I'm a 65-year-old woman and I want to say to you younger women, I LOVE YOU ALL.
Thanks ✨g-ma✨ love you too stay safe🖤🌸🖤🌸
@@Karasus_drug_dealer You girlies showed up in this era of history to finish the job. 😘
We wubb you too 🥺❤
@@CheekyLovesCheeseCake. Wubb you more!
WE LOVE U TOO QUEEN
Every man wants a good woman until that good woman asks for a good man.
This is a word!
By “good man” what they mean is a 6’5 millionaire who’s 26 years old.
Facts❤
Bingo
and that's a fact ❤🔥
“No” is a full sentence, besties. Don’t let anyone (or any corporation) tell you otherwise.
Facts!
Say it louder for the people in the back!
@@zizzo5194The No Nuance Nellies.
@@juliagrowsinportland( You all are a bunch of followers not leaders. Men left dating apps in 2022. A couple of years ago. Women have waited until most of the men stop using dating apps and only the lowest quality men were left on these apps to follow our lead. Very weak.
@LUCYDebDolly Exactly.
My reaction to seeing those billboards “actually, this is further confirmation for me that celibacy IS the answer. Year 6, here I come.”
Thank you for sharing bestie 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
@@therealmanifestelle I gotchoo, bestie ❤️
Congratulations! 11 years here #CelibrateCelibate 🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉
Hell yeah!! Right there with you sister.
I’ve had fellow women try to persuade me at the beginning of my journey that i would change my mind because she found a good man and i shouldn’t “keep myself” from doing so . Whatever helps you sleep at night girl
@@amethyst0nefinding a good man doesn’t have to involve sleeping around so tell your friend to try again with that dumb comment
Wanting to date and get to know someone does NOT equal sex
stop making sense and just let the people post their rage bait
You're so right. We've been duped. If we don't give up sex easily within the first couple dates, I used to feel guilty. But I don't owe a man anything and I'm going to wait until I feel comfortable.
@@anonanon7553 i still struggle with feeling guilty when i deny my very loving and understanding bf shmex, even though he hugs me, tells me he loves me and says he would never want to do anything unless i was enjoying it: THAT'S HOW INGRAINED IT IS IN US WOMEN.
I literally have one of the most loving men in the world who told me if i never wanted him to touch me again; he'd still be with me and love me because I'm worth so much more as a human to him than just the physical. And yet, because of society's conditioning, i still feel guilty! We have been hoodwinked, double crossed and betrayed by society and I'm so glad women are waking up and realising that our bodys are entitled to no one but ourselves.
As an asexual I never understood why sex was so important when there are SO MANYYYY other ways to show affection. If you’re interested in someone is that really the first thing that comes to mind? Nothing else? Seems kind of shallow to me.
@@biggie395 I'm not ace (i think??) but i've always felt annoyed at how sex was always the 'default' for relationships, i'd want to see a man genuinely care abt you w/o sex
Celibacy is the answer. I hooked up one time (not thinking it was a hookup at the time b/c I genuinely liked the guy) and realized it was a SCAM! there’s no reason to sleep with a man unless you’re in a committed relationship or getting paid. I am not risking getting pregnant or STD for someone who couldn’t care less about me. Toys work fine!
And often times we don't even get to be sexually fulfilled. We take on the majority of the risks with virtually none of the benefits.
Bingo. With personal toys celibacy no longer means frustration. There is basically no pro to casual sex in general, but particularly for women.
Wanting actual sex and intimacy is a legitimate reason for plenty of women. Putting "getting paid" over that is a bit sad.
Exactly!
@@michaelrapaport4494 From what I saw, is not the case actually...Most women prefer to be safe and loved than have sex🤔 I mean, intimacy is a reason, not a bad one, but only that is not enough.
And about the “getting paid” thing, is not about money at all, is about the other things I said, and to be a trustful person who isn’t scamming a woman to go to bed for “free” in his twisted mind. We can use that term too, but not to hurt others but to protect us.
I think that was her point, kind of. (What is sad is people scamming others to hurt their bodies and minds, that’s what’s sad, their reasons to do those things and to ignore the consequences on others…)
I remember reading something like this somewhere:
Celibacy is actually pretty easy once you realize that most of these "men" don't even deserve to touch you.
If you are not in a committed relationship that can provide benefits, there is absolutely no reason to have sex.
Most don't deserve any attention whatsoever. These ones make themselves known too, when they don't get positive attention they will settle for negative. Don't give them any.
I used to have sex even if it wasn’t necessarily… a great choice of partner 💀because I was also simply horny LOL. but now as an adult, I’m absolutely picky and CHOOSY about who gets access to me in that way, and my life has never been better because of it ✌🏻
@@Allystargirl well I hope he at least got you off!
@@PeachyKins some did, some didn’t 😂
@@Allystargirl i thank mother nature every day that she made me bisexual and i have a choice to sleep with women if i want some temporary intimacy.
The 4b movement will only continue to grow, the more women protect our peace and our bodies.
@UTTP-142men who won't have access to us? Duuuh 😅
@UTTP-142You do.
@UTTP-142 you cared enough to comment
ijbol they deleted their comment
Yes we all just need to realize how powerful we are and how to use our power. 💓 What bumble did there, I can´t believe it... Thankfully I stepped away from dating apps a few months ago and I will be single and celibate until a great man deserves to be with me. I´ve been in bad relationships before where I gave away my power and my peace and this will not happen again. I know what I have to loose so I will happily and peacefully stay single and be safe.
I’m literally scared shtless to date. At 33, I’ve given up and am blessed to not be a single mother.
(Some of y’all are rude af. I come from a single mother who was abandoned at 19 with 2 children. My dad spent most my life in prison. Brother sexually abused me. Mother emotionally abused me and neglected me due to the stress. I’m saying “blessed” because I don’t want to pass on my pain and trauma to the next generation.) THINK BEFORE YOU IGNORANTLY JUDGE😒
🫶🏽🫶🏽
I am a single mother, and I feel blessed.
I left a toxic marriage. I have been able to show my daughter that she doesn’t need to put up with poor treatment from anyone.
Within three months of leaving my marriage, she and I had our first out of town adventure. This has lead us to many more adventures. Last summer, we spent a week in Mexico.
Being a single mother is not easy, but it can be fun. Life is too short to be miserable.
@@tspencer661 yes, it can go either way. I have two children 21 and 18 and I've a great relationship with my daughter but my son is all anger and attitude. ARgh, I do feel blessed to have my lovely daughter but I look at single friends my age (54) who didn't have children and they're all more involved in their hobbies, drama groups, hiking, cooking clubs, you name it, they've build up this NETWORK, whereas any of the ''mum friends'' i made when the kids were small, that seems to have fallen by the wayside. I have my job and my house and I do not want to insert a random awful man into my life so I'm blessed to be strong enough to be single.
you're not alone, feeling the same, sister.
I'm a single mother. It's so strange how all of these channels, no matter what the content is, still trash on single moms. We are human too, Jesus Christ.
If the most important thing for a woman is to be a wife and mother ... why are women not financially supported to do that? Where is the job security? Where is the paid maternity leave? Where is the affordable childcare? Where is the social safety net when the husbands and fathers fail?
Fax!
You're right on the money
And that doesn't even go into how abysmal healthcare for women and mothers are. You'd think if men in power sincerely believed that was a womans role, they would make healthcare dedicated to womens comfort in birthing and safety. But throughout history healthcare has done the opposite and instead caters entirely to men and women are treated as "smaller" men.
When anesthesia was invented, religious men decided women shouldn't be allowed to have it because they should suffer for the sins of eve.
🗣 ONE MORE TIME FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
Get these frauds 👏🏼😼
Every "nice guy " that has talked to me has turned out to be the worse....don't date nice guys
Nice guys are worse than the assholes because at least straight up assholes are honest and you know what you’re getting. “Nice guys” pretend to care about you and then once you like them they start being toxic
It's almost ALL guys.
I knew one in high school.
EVERYONE other than him regarded him as an asshole.
Every guy is brainwashed. Period.
😂😂they are good actors
The setup is forever flawed: if a woman is on a dating app, 99% of the men on said dating app will think she is looking for shmex. The woman can declare in her profile she wants something serious, declare her abstinence and boundaries during the initial conversation- the men will not believe her(she's just playing hard to get, right?) Why? Because she's on the dating app. The apps have become the digital equivalent of finding love and connection in a sleazy bar - very, very unlikely.
They think the same for good looking women:" why is she dressed so nice and takes care of herself if not for shmex?".
@@criticalthinking9924yepp the creepiest guys approach you nowadays if you just dress basic feminine
So true 😢
No most of the times the men don’t even bother to read what’s on a girls bio. They see a girl and blindly swipe right who cares as to what she may want.
@@talialoves that’s sad…
Remember that if you're getting a service for free, you're the product being sold.
I remember same quote it says." If you are getting somthing for free you are the price "
This
Exactly. These apps are also taking our demographic/voice/physical data so they can build female robotics to replace us. Example: Only fans women are probably measured and graphed so tech companies can develop better AI porn and female robotics.
Data about women, created by women, is being used to create tech objects to replace women.
The "nice" guys I've known are those who just respect women they consider hot. They can't even say hi to a woman they aren't interested in.
Meanwhile they look like potatoes. 😂
When we are decent and kind to them, they think we are hitting on them. It shows how nive they ate indeed!
And then when they get that hot woman they treat her like trash. They are 🤡🤡
Even as a Christian woman the Christian guys get mad when I tell them I'm waiting till marriage. Not all of them but way too many of them expect hookups despite them saying they are gentlemen
Its sad that a lot of so called "Christian " man use some parts of the scripture to trap women and tell them to endure abuse and bad behaviour.Finding a man who truly fears God is soooooooo hard,but stay strong out there❤
Most people use religion not as a tool for self-spiritual enlightenment, but as a tool for coercion. Always beware of people who so proudly profess.
I remember briefly dating a Catholic man a few years ago. He wouldn’t stop asking when we’d hook up. Really wild. Recently I’ve decided I want to become Catholic, but I know that it won’t lead me to a better dating life. It will simply make celibacy, inner peace, and morality easier. I am fine with that.
If you're truly religious, (I'm not, but I come from the bible belt and a heavy religious family so I know how this works), just know that most men use it as a coercion tactic to get in your pants earlier than usual, to make themselves look better to you, to make you think they wont abuse you and actually treat you as a "Child of God". Most of it is pretty lies until they get you into a marriage. Then they turn into their true selves.
I fear “Christian” men the most, all of my religious friends and cousins married outside their respective churches because too many of the dating pool on their churches were misogynistic men using the scriptures as justification for their poor treatment of women.
Let’s all delete these stupid apps and force men to ask us out in person again, where we can size them up appropriately. F this noise
1st online talking to determine you're both on the same page and he doesn't sound like a creep.Only after dating in person.
Honestly I think vetting and hiring a personal matchmaker to do sourcing and vetting for quality men is another option.
@@LotusesGalaxyOcean i think that’s a decent option, it’s popular in some more traditional cultures. The main thing is avoiding the easy access where we become another commodity on a shelf to be swiped through. The men should at *least* have the barrier of access to have to pay (matchmaker), have built up friendships to be referred through, or be confident enough to approach women in person
Agreed
Except most women wont lmao. The validation ya'll get from social media,dating apps has you all living in dopamine Cloud 9.
The apps are going to have to start paying ladies to use them 😂
The kicker is that if you ask for money, the dating apps will ban your account permanently.
But men are free to ask for s3x.
Make it make sense?
Those dating apps will become the medium to contact sexual workers or to rent a girlfriend or something like that.
Imagine tho
They already have one called flirtify. I read they pay women to take random male calls.
@@winning3329 "make it make sense"
It's illegal. Hope this helps ☺️
Online dating is terrible. Creeps all across the board.
They ruined dating apps
yeh, I'm Irish, lived in London and Spain and all men on apps are the same. They think it's a way to get free sex workers. Ok, maybe they enjoy the flirting and the dinner and the chat. But deep down, it's just a pleasant transaction with a free sex worker.
Even as a lesbian when I was searching for a date on a dating app
, the profiles were
either men or fakes or very rarely a woman.
Creepy men are so desperate and predatory
that they claim they're a woman just to get access
(I'm not talking about trans women)
Dating apps are useless
Yup, and Fumble's "message men first" while protecting from unwanted pic bombardment, made these men sit there as entitled princesses according to many women's experience. They didn't even feel need to put in effort in courting with empty promises and cheap words and expected women on a platter jumping through hoops as if these guys are the ultimate prize. Disgusting.
@@InternetNonsenseexact the type of man I expected to be on bumble
Love when women love themselves and society gets mad
👏 👏 👏
Is this self love? Seems like a lot of lonely and hurt individuals.
@@wiredvibe1678 hurt? Maybe - a lot of people are hurt. But definitely not lonely. Most single women are not lonely. Women build strong bonds with family and freinds more than men do. Women reach out to family more than men do. Women are visited in hospital by female friends more than men are visited by male friends. One of the stereotypes about women is that we're always talking on the phone- it's quite true - because we have strong bonds with the people we chat with. Even the bonds which are not as strong - we still keep those bonds. There are times where female friends will show up for each other more than some male family members will for other men in their family. This is not to pity men because men have created that environment within yourselves.
Single men are usually lonely (male friendship circles and family bonds are not as strong). Single women are usually not lonely. Of course there will be some outliers but generally this is the case.
@Ri57490 maybe single women aren't lonely but the ones that watch these sorts of videos sure are.
I love how the nonbears are negging and rage baiting in the comments just like elle said🤣🤣 blaming women for why they don't make effort in their own lives to form strong bonds and all the other shit they fail to do for themselves 💀
Its not just dating apps, people are starting to understand the power that woman holds, they can even make or BREAK an economy, produce corporate slave, give major contribution to the middle class people of a country that are the main pillars that holds up an entire country's GDP
Look at all the pushback on the 4b movement and when women choose bears over men. Men are terrified.
@UTTP-142 you do becuase you can't get no 😾
You do apparently @UTTP-142
@@princessmorebucks thats a rage-bait comment. Even your sarcastic response are like a glass of water in a dry ahh sahara desert for these insels
@@clazuisrj8816idc it felt good but thanks!!
Gov men: "we have made it illegal for you to get rid of a child you dont want so now you will have no choice but to be a mom!"
Woman: "ok we just wont date anymore"
Men: "WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU?"
This Is low-key hilarious
Congrats
Nailed it!
Yep. 😂
"you will have no choice but to be a mom".....or you can just not be a thot. 👍
At least you admit you're getting rid of a child.
Bruh i just saw a pick me on tiktok saying how being overly picky/celibate is going to lead men to violence towards women. I'm honestly getting more mad at them at this point.
Exactly the more women chose themselves and to ignore males, the more we need to protect ourselves at all times. They are getting angrier
Why cant they make money to pay someone who will do that for them? Why do they need to get upset with women who don't want them? It's always about control 🙄
@@princessmorebucks Because a man’s virility is worthless without access to a fertile woman (Ladies of the night take precautions so they don’t cut it). It’s pressure created by evolution and called the „sm3+ua1 conflict“. Dr. Meike Stoverock has written a great English essay on it; it’s called „Female Choice“ (a summary of her German book).
This is exactly what's happening in South Korea right now. The incels are reeing out in droves over there.
Exactly. They are just as dangerous as the men who take women’s lives. In our town, there is a guy who is a known stalker grapist (but he gets away with it because he gets women into his home with dating apps and then they can’t prove they didn’t consent because they felt scared and pressured by him), so the cops do nothing. BUT his whole tactic to get these girls in - is through his female friends!!! They befriend girls and get them to a girls “sleepover” where he’s there and the girlfriends start pressuring the new girl (often young), saying this guy really likes her etc. trying to encourage her to hook up. It’s so disgusting. The cops won’t do anything but they know of him. I’m so glad there are some girls who actually speak out on FB and warn the others!
I deleted dating apps a couple weeks ago after an incredible date that had me feeling hopeful for the future. He said that he would like to hook up but didnt push me when I said no. After it was obvious I wasnt changing my mind he no longer wanted a long term serious relationship and wanted to work on himself. I realized oh. This is what they do. They lie and say they want long term relationships so that women will give into sleeping with them, and after they get what they want they leave. I’m a very fragile person with interpersonal relationships and this realization hurt a lot. But I dont regret being celibate. These apps are HARMFUL. They make men feel entitled to your SOUL.
Iam sorry that happened to you. Males are cold and heartless that's why I dont give them my heart❤
Indeed that is what they do. Quite a high percentage of men on dating apps are married or in an ltr about 40% I believe.
😢 the last sentence tho... true.
@@rejectionisprotection4448sadly is actually 60% .... Thats more than half, thats why so MANY women there have had similar experiences, that they found out their date has a whole family 😅... I dated a dude 3 times before i found out he had a whole FIANCE
I am a vergin at 25 . Somtimes i do feel like missing out on sex and all. But i would rather wait for right person. That just sleep with random man. I am also fragile people I don't want to get betrayed or heart broken. 😅💕
And what’s wrong with becoming a nun anyway??? there’s more to life than dating
💯
Some of the important women in history such as Catherine of Siena and Teresa of Avila have been celebate or nuns.
Absolutely nothing and I guarantee they feel absolute peace and happiness.
Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, a nun, is considered the first feminist of the Americas!
Ive considered it numerous times.
We are choosing better and they don't like it
We are choosing ourselves and they can’t stand themselves.
And that's why they become more violent towards us. And they try to justify their actions by us not being submissive towards them and their hateful views towards us.. as if we are obligated to do so. And they say that we are dramatizing when we say that they don't view us as humans
I personally love it! ❣️
@@phil-2725 man* detected
We're finally realizing the fuckin we get ain't worth the fuckin we get
For me living in a high fermicide rate , being single is now part of survival.
Sad but true!
May you always be protected, sister!
May all women's be always protected ❤❤❤❤
Wishing protection over you ❤
women finally realized that dating apps just rewarded and incentivized low-effort, below, bare minimum behavior from men whose only intention was to waste women’s time. Women were looking for loving partnerships, meanwhile most of the men were looking for access to women with no desire for relationships…or just a hookup. So…. women opted out and chose ourselves, our peace, our protection … as we should
Yep. Or pseudo relationships where they’re with the woman, for regular access to a warm body and benefits a relationship with a woman brings (including for more attention from other women), and then just cheat behind their backs anyway … usually on the apps. There’s no winning
WHAT? A significant amount of women use dating apps for validation. Again significant, not all. Women operate a certain way which is fine. Men also operate a certain way, which should be fine but heavily criticised.
That's why they banned abortions this time.
What about the victims of sexual abuse? What about the children born when deformities? What about mother's facing medical complications?
The point of legalising abortion was never about women welfare; it had always been about men 's access to the bodies of women. Because it stopped fulfilling its original purpose, patriarchy got rid of abortion.
That's so depressing.....but I think you might be right
I agree with mostly everything you said, but not with using abortion against children with deformities as they can (and should) still live. It just seems like eugenics to me.
@@MiraMira-kh5ziYou( also as in general society) aren’t raising that child, so your opinion about it being eugenics doesn’t really matter.
@@baisale36 agreed. Parents had abortions done due to the fetus testing positive for Down's syndrome, and they feel guilty about it. I think they should not feel way at least by the society. Living in our world with children with disabilities can be extremely challenging for the parents - especially financially and emotionally.
@@MiraMira-kh5ziif you spot deformity early it's better to get rid of it for both of them, the parent and the child, stop being selfish, it's a selfless act to abort a child that's going to suffer even if it means putting your life on the line
At first, I was outraged that Bumble made this AD campaign, but now I'm grateful that Bumble showed their true colors. It is 2024 and these people are showing that more progress needs to be done.
Bumble has always sucked…. It’s over run by creepy leering throuples and polyamorous men. They’ve never let you choose height preferences (I’m a tall girl) and even racial preferences. Like sometimes people have preferences, I only want to be shown to other men who have “looking for a relationship or marriage” listed (even though I know that can be a farce). It’s just a joke of an app and has been for years. I’ve met more married couples that have met through tinder than bumble…
@@user-lt1jd1ye3vi’ve heard alot of married couples meet on tinder and hinge. ZERO on bumble😂
yea, maybe it really a blessing in disguise ^^'
As a woman in tech, these apps are not meant to fail. For dating apps failure = finding a match. Bumble's campaign was one of desperation. In order to keep user engagement high, the new goal is to start negging the user. Negging is the most profitable tactic in advertising. Once an app has gross market share, the company can do whatever it wants...at least that's what it thinks. They never forecasted that people would just abandon the app all together.
They should have put thought into it and be smarter then do such repulsive campaign.
@@Drosenv but look for the management of bumblee its mostly female
I really think they have men messaging women on bumble first now as a way to save their bottom line - they know men don't listen to women. So, their billboard followed by the new change in system rules was to excite men that women came back - I'm assuming they just have a lot of AI on there now to talk to these guys instead and hope the women will come back eventually.
Great point! I am ALSO constantly trying to tell women that many of these crying girl tik-toks that depict sad single women are PROPAGANDA. It's propaganda to coerce women into providing men service and sons, it's often performed by a PAID actresses and/or boosted by PAID male influencers.
With respect, there appears to be a disconnect between the previous reports about membership on dating apps and the interpretation of an entirely expected demise of these platforms.
In regard to Bumble, the app was started based on a model of women having the first move. But soon after starting women, not men, complained about this female empowerment set up. Women didn't have the skill set to be initiators. Bumble then migrated to a more balanced or gender neutral framework with regard to interactions.
But all dating apps memberships were skewed toward higher male membership. Tinder did an internal review and revealed the smaller membership of women were almost exclusively "swiping right" on a very small percentage of available men's profiles (≤10%) resulting in over 90% of men having near zero engagements.
But with 90% of women attempting to have engagement with a miniscule percentage of male members resulted in dissatisfaction among female members in terms of quality. Your framework of incentives driving results worked. The top 10% of men on dating apps were incentivized by women members to do the minimum in engaging them because they had a plethora of options for dating. Another consequence of women's exclusively focusing on a small subset of men is women found themselves dating the same men.
As confirmed by the statistical data below, it is rapidly declining dues paying male members not women that is at the source of the demise of dating apps*. Outside of dating apps domestic men are literally disappearing from social contact with women. The Korean 4B movement arose from an entirely different social and political framework for Korean women versus western women.
There are no social structures requiring western women to have sex, marry or bear children. The fact almost 2 out of 3 marriages in the U.S. end in a divorce of which 70% are initiated by the female spouse. Divorcing female spouses overwhelmingly benefit more, particularly financially, from divorce. Premarital sex has become a norm in social interactions since the invention of birth control over half a century ago. The practice of celibacy has been distinctly rare among men and women. It is women, not men who have been incentivized to participate in naughty content creation on social platforms like OnlyFans and TicToc.
*Source: Find more statistics at Statista
"The most important role in a woman's life is to be a wife/mother", they say; Yet maternity rights in the workplace are WHERE? Maternity support from gov't??? Fathers helping raise their childen???? 👀 They will never reconcile this rhetoric with the practices of corps & gov't....They CANNOT make it make sense. 'Bestie, wake up!' 💖💖
👏 👏 👏
@@wLBlue yes, rights. Pregnant and breastfeeding mothers have basic human rights like the right to accommodations and paid time off to breastfeed. Breastfeeding, not pumping. Studied shows holding the infant produces higher quality and higher quantity of breastmilk.
Celibacy allowed me to direct my creative energy from my womb to build myself up financially, get my college education and support my physical and mental health. The womb is an energy creator that gets damaged through stress or promiscuity. Keep your energy to invest into your own self- actualization.
Celibacy helped me keep my health, mental and bodily, not only because of risk of transmitted ailments, but not having to suffer birth control side effects for questionable pleasure that men are raging about as if we are toys taken away from them. We were never meant to be theirs to play with in the first place!
S
P
E
A
K
This!!! 🧡🧡🧡❤️🔥
"The womb is an energy creator that gets damaged through stress and promiscuity." That is so real
@@justmyopinion4409I think she is talking of her experience🤔 Not shaming, but ok.
If you respect yourself, you choice what is best for you, if you want promiscuity that’s a choice too while you protect yourself for the consequences of that. It’s fine I think.
No women should shame you, but you also don’t let men or yourself shame you for your choices that don’t hurt others or yourself.🤔
Yeh, that wouldn't encourage me to sign up, i'm 54, and if I wanted sex, I could even at my age, go to the harbor bar a mile away and ask , who wants to buy me a drink. I gave up on apps *because* they're all about sex. Bumble sounds like it's lost its point. How about vetting the men first to make sure they're actually single? Limit the number of women they can message. Make their profile red flagged if they do something dangeros.
Wouldn't that be something? The number of men who would both use an app and fit that criteria is so low that it's not a viable business plan. All the apps would go out of business. ha!
These ideas are great! We don't need more choices, but a better vetting system! Someone, start coding!
The apps only care about getting paid.
I agree with most of these ideas except the flagging because that definitely can get abused. Not all women are kind or reach manifestelle energy
I hear you, but honestly it's time for us women to simply begin valuing ourselves. Dating apps only exist because we used them in the first place. We stop using them, problem solved. :) Same with men's behavior - time for us to value ourselves and stop giving them free unpaid labor, free therapy, and access to our bodies. Might take some time, but so what? Life is great without them too.
Separately, I don’t like that they keep featuring *only* women of color in their ads, because, god forbid they disrespect ww by making them adjacent to messaging that discourages celibacy.
I peep game!
Imo it's bc only woc are having the online discourse. Lots of ww are very into la la land feminism
Oop! 🤭
@@catcat9582 very good point! 🤷🏾♀️
@@catcat9582what exactly do you mean by la la land feminism? I get the disconnected to reality part, but how?
@@catcat9582that not it. It’s because ww don’t take that bullshit, they would have made thousands if not millions of videos complaining about being patronized by men into giving sexual access. Like nuns, every white girl has heard of some girl that got into nunnery to escape men and their advances. I can’t speak for woc, but I just know ww are very vocal about their own issues online. I do agree that some bourgeois ww do live and breathe bourgeois mysoginoir feminism or pickmeeism, but not most, look at the adds, the aggressive "you know full well" is directed at woc (aggressive, demanding tone, dehumanizing) the other one just suggests you wouldn’t want to live the life of a nun (the one for white-white passing women, not as threatening) it’s all so well thought
The way religion has co-opted celibacy as a shaming tool for women is so disgusting. I love seeing how women are taking their power back. The reason why systems have to try to hard to disempower women is because of the inherent worth and power that women have always held. Don’t give the most vulnerable parts of yourself to someone who hasn’t shown themselves worthy. I love that the power to celibacy is back in women’s hands!
I am too! I am all for it!
Lets take back our power!! ❤
I don't get the point about religion? It clearly says have children with a husband, otherwise sex is a sin. So no husband, no sex - celibacy. Moreover, being a virgin/living in celibacy can be considered saint. At least in Catholic church.
@@tajakjejtamthey’re using abstinence and celibacy as interchangeable.
It's ironic since the core of religions preached abstinence and celibacy when unmarried.
Now, when the general population is practicing it it's a problem.
I once heard someone say that the only weapon men use against women is, dotting on her character.
Like who TF gave these men the audacity to think that they can determine what a woman is by THEIR definition.
I’ve finally gotten to the point where I stopped being a Pickmeisha. An old ex texted me after years of no contact and I just deleted it. 🙄
I don’t want no drama.
🎉 Congratulations! 🎉
Yess delete! 🙌
congratulations !!🎉
Proud of you🎉
Good job girl! You picked yourself . 🎉
Access to termination puts the power in women's hands, still.
Hookup culture and the commodification of women is absolutely the problem, but it all comes from seeing women an object to possess. Forcibly impregnating her is a means of possessing her, and I think she should be free from that option if she so chooses, free from duress.
Pornography is a means of possessing her. "nude art" is a means of possessing her.
Motherhood and parenthood, through marriage, are profoundly beautiful. Families are a blessing. But being forced to carry any man's child should not happen to anyone.
I agree
I think women can see termination this way. But men* do not have the same perspective. Men* still use termination as a way to possess women. It gives them easier access. And that's why men* will support it. Women support termination for the sake of women and men* support termination for the sake of men*.
I think it's important we have the choice. But I think it's important we aren't careless with our bodies and souls when it comes to men. So we don't have to make the choice.
Many married women and women with children also seek terminations, not just single women. Oftentimes cost is a huge factor, but for me personally, I just recently terminated as a married woman with a toddler because my unborn daughter was incompatible with life. It's still an abortion, even though it was a planned and wanted pregnancy from the start.
@@TheCakeIsALie-1I think statistics show most terminations are given to women who already have children, which makes sense since they know the reality of motherhood vs a single childless woman who may romanticize motherhood and therefore forgo termination. So on the surface the whole termination argument may appear to be about forcing childless women into motherhood, in reality it’s about making it more difficult for mothers to navigate what may be an already poor situation.
I'm 19, got out from a toxic relationship and countless talking stages before. I'm scared to date. I give up. Dealing with men drains my energy.
Be selfish....you have so much time before you. Develop you, learn more about you!!! Do everything you want to do. Leave men alone.
You are still young (I'm in my 30s) you should focus on yourself and building stability in your life - don't waste your energy on men or trying to find a good one. Pour your energy back into yourself and the right one will come along when the time is right. You have to trust the process ❤
Same!
Feel you on the "countless talking stages" .. I'm not going to ask you out dude make plans or just go away. blegh.
hah same lol (20 y/o)
10+ years ago I decided to be celibate for religious reasons and never regretted it. I relaxed my stance if I’m in serious relationship however haven’t met someone worthy yet. My self esteem has been through the roof, peace, and not worrying about STDs, pregnancy, etc…it’s been so worth it.
Pay to talk to men? I don’t think that’s going to be a profitable business venture
Just go to the grocery store. In the chip aisle
Or the cereal aisle... oh wait I think he chased me down from the chip aisle, you're right! 😂😂😂
😂 and then just stand there and pretend to need help reaching them bc "men need to feel needed"
You'll be simply walking down the road and they would still try to talk to you lol. Even saying "no" sadly doesn't deter them.
Funniest and truest thing I've read all day, lol
@@PeachyKinsi think that trait can be quite endearing about them. i dropped something at the grocery store & the guy in front of me immediately pivoted around as if he had eyes on the back of his head & i would surely need help. i didn’t see it on the ground right away, before he did anyway, so he picked it up for me & told me i looked beautiful. he then carried on to the chip isle & the encounter was over. i’m not looking, but i thought it was cute.
Celibacy is draining Bumble's pockets. It's that simple.
I love the "man detected" comment warning! This should be universal. "Man detected," "pickme detected," and "bot detected" 😂 32:03
100% agree with you. Some of the guys that try to comment under videos like this are THE most disrespectful
Man here. Would it be helpful if men in comments here made their gender known in the comment or just talk normally and wait for a man detected?
Oh I just got to the man detected part of the video. If this makes you mad now I'm gonna do it more 😂
As soon as I deleted my dating apps, I met some great guys IN REAL LIFE through family & friends
Does this make you a pick-me?
Dating apps are a real crap shoot. At least friends and family can filter out most of the guys who have nothing in common with you. That's how real dating should be.
Same thing seems to be happening to me and I’m here for it.
Dating apps suck. I never found a guy I was compatible with or attracted to. I was always so frustrated. Like no matter what I put in my profile, they were always conservative and not my type. They are such a scam.
That's bc there was more conservative young men than not
@@catcat9582yeah. But come on! Also, like…none of them were attractive to me. I don’t want a hunk or anything like that. But I never once saw a guy that matched my type. It was weird.
@@viridianacortes9642 If you want to meet a good leftist partner go out of your bubble and events were young, intelligent men are. They are rare but they exist. idk your age but most of the time they're in their 20s. Most of the time men* 35 or older are a lost cause.
why were you not attracted to them?
I read about tinder's algorithm: it aims to pair "high power" men with "low power" women, because "that's the recipe for a successful relationship".
This means it introduces men that are older than you, richer than you, more popular than you with other girls.
But if I think about REAL life balanced relationships, many times the woman is older, richer, prettier or smarter, so the power balances out.
This might be the reason that you get those Chad guys, and the normal looking kind men are not pushed by the algorithms.
So many guys seriously confused about this!
Like why are you celibate AND dating?"
Do they smash every date?
Guys really believe dating = smashing
Yep. When they hear about rotation dating, they assume that a woman is sleeping with all of these dates.
It's just projection, as normal.
@@rejectionisprotection4448 this I saw talking g about this and all men were shaming her lol.
This culture is so prevalent in the west and because of western influence it's now the same in India too. I genuinely liked a guy but when he realised I wasn't gonna sleep with him, he broke up and now I'm not dating ever again. Western and Indian women need to take their power back through celibacy.
I'm a later bloomer in dating, and damn what trash is out here, y'all are right
Im 22 rn and never dated after 18(first teen bf at 17) now all these scare me and I'm not interested anymore. Thank God
I was raised in a cult. Freed myself, and that was so hard. Married a man who was probably a narcissist and most definitely abusive. He changed, but found covert ways not to fundamentally do so. I worked so hard to be a good wife and mother. To learn from my own all the things I didn’t want to be.
I’m 3 1/2 years a widow. On the other side of that, and religion and conservatism, and so much more, I’m a different woman. I’m a full woman. I’m a strong woman. And not strong because of what I can survive. Strong in the real ways. Strong in what I do and don’t allow.
I am working hard to raise my three sons to be good men. It’s exhausting, but I’m putting everything I have into it.
At the same time, I’m rebuilding myself into who I could have been the whole time. Had a good man ever loved me.
Big hugs, fellow women. We are a force to be reckoned with. The reckoning is here.
@@Scrittlescrattle , thank you so much. Your message made me tear up. It’s been a long hard ride. 💕
Whenever I read a comment like this I always think of Lane in The Gilmore Girls. She says: "I never had a chance to be a real person." Now you can be ❤
I would like an APP for female friendship. My friends are always busy...I'm busy 😑
I'd like a female friend too.
It's been a while since ive used it, but there's Bumble BFF. That's how i found one of my friends 3 years ago! But i get it if you dont wanna use Bumble
Me too, the problem is that it should ask for a real verification with ID and photo to confirm we're a real woman, no trans. And even then, in Spain many MEN (trans) have taken advantage of the law and changed their IDs to have access to women's benefits in employment as Police Officers or just to be UA-camrs. Even here, many men are impersonating women and commenting about how virginity is like a female God or something. Be careful of these men.
@joycem6250 can we try to know each other?
There are women-only chats on a menstrual app "Flo", but everyone is anonymous.
the sexual liberation movement was always a psy-op. the men said "oh no, please don't show us your tatas, that would be so bad of you, ew gross" and we totally fell for it
I have been saying these things for years and I’m happy more of us our realizing this. We need to wake up and protect our bodies and our spirits.
I never related to the tween shows always being so hypersmexual and as if that was a passage of "coolness". Always felt so weird and forced as no one acted like that IRL. This ad is giving me same vibes, some psyops by men wanting to crap on your boundaries as if you are weirdo for having them.
@@InternetNonsense Depends on the neighborhood. I was in a neighborhood where tweens being sexual was normal.. made a way for teenage pregnancy which was looked down on, but no one was so shocked about it.
@@silververnallbells191 I guess that is true, I'm from quite reserved European country and and while SOME of that happened, the shows made it seem so... excessive and normalized. While our culture drilled into our heads abstain until you are 18.
I'm so glad I never joined any dating apps. I was the girl that became obsessed with true crime at 13 and so many if those shows feature a woman meeting a man online or on a dating app and then something bad happens to them.
I knew my fear of meeting someone online wasn't unfounded but it's nice to hear it stated in terms that I understand.
This is why my Mom doesn’t do online dating, she becomes very cautious whenever she goes on her Facebook and interacts with people, her Facebook account are only her sisters and female friends. They are never men at all, she always is cautious and super cautious when it comes to texting men and especially when they are 60+ or 65-70. It’s because they are are elderly and older than my Mom, especially my Mom is 53 years old and she doesn’t want creepy men to creep on her. Sometimes I love my Mom too much to the point where I get scared and concerned for her safety when it comes to her texting other men. That’s why me and my older Brother are protective of our Mother. I am just so worried and scared to what is going to happen. 🖤🤍
The more true crime you watch the more you realise that the vast majority of victims are women and girls and the vast majority of perpetrators are men; it gets real depressing real quick.
There was a woman a couple weeks ago who met up w/someone she met on an app & he dismembered her body. The police still haven't found all her parts.
Love true crime.
True crime is the reason why I was able to pick up on so many red flags so quickly. I know it makes me paranoid, but at the same time it keeps me safe.
I totally agree with the "product" part imfao, if anything i came across a youtube video where they were catching men who might cheat and when the guy cheated almost all men said "its biological for men", if men can " biologically " cheat then why cant women "biologically" want money? They want to use women as products and not even pay in return lol, while these transactional relationships are not it i see how transactional men truly are
They use the “biology” excuse cause they have nothing else, they know how pathetic it is they just don’t want to admit it
And thats why they hateeeeee OF, cuz they don't want to pay women, they want it to be free
@@AyAReI00exactly
Celibacy year 4, going strong centering myself and my soft girl era 😍 We got this Queens 👸🏽
Celibacy for 3 years and we are young women due to being 18 years old, single, and a virgin. WE GOT THIS GIRLSSSS. I need my sister to support us and love our own femininity. 🤎💛
Next month I will be 4 years as well... I'm so happy to see all the women embracing their goddess self and utilizing their creation energy for themselves. Congratulations on your liberation and level up queens 👑✨🤍
5 years this September. I'm so over the males. 4B.
Have never done the deed at 23, it's my choice. 😌 Celibacy for the win. Wanna get higher education, build a career, move up in that career and learn investment while going out with friends. Hook ups don't benefit women a lot of times, it's often just peer pressure. They don't reach their climax, they risk STDs and pregnancy and emotional neglect. I wanna wake up to flowers and breakfast the next day if I do the deed not a 'you've been blocked' message. I wanna be taken shopping and complimented not see him walking away with the next target. I wanna feel loved and cared for and not used. No one has the right to tell me I shouldn't demand so much because I will and until then celibacy is the answer.
10+ years here. You go girl!
i havent slept with a man in two years cause i stopped tolerating less than what i deserve, funny how no man can behave well enough for me to feel comfortable
Same girl same. Smh. We deserve better because we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated fairly and well. It's sad that we have to demand it. Stupid 🙄
Same. I raised my standards and now I'm single but that's amazing if you ask me.
I want a Boyfriend so bad, I wanna love and be happy but ain’t no way I’m not waiting for the one, for a real good man. And until then being single is prefect my fine
Exactly, there is no need to be pressured into anything, it only hurts them when you have standards.
Just adopt a pet and give your love to them. They will reciprocate it much better than any man ever could.
❤
Wanting a boyfriend experience badly led to massive amounts of time-wasting and eventually some awful absolutely awful experiences. Men are great in fiction and fantasy. They are MOSTLY terrible 99 percent of the time in real life.
A boyfriend, husband, or male dating partner is a nice FICTIONAL fantasy but REALITY is often *very* disappointing.
When i first heard the celibacy quote i thought why cant women date men without s + x then i realized thats what men want and if we take that away the app would fall apart lol 😂 milking us apart
43 here, had some shitty and some outright creepy experiences when dating. Celibacy for me as well now,, for years. And no more dating apps for a long time. That Bumble campaign is so bad, I was like 'whaaaat' when I saw the billboards in your video... they sense women are out, and they are desperate to tell them STAY. Not full out commanding them but sounds almost like it. Insane.
bumble is so tone deaf they might as well have a billboard that says "cats and kittens aren't everything, ladies!" 🤣
@@sfheatherr there are also dogs
Celibacy year 2 and I don't regret a thing. More women really need to do this.
Celibacy = peace
7 years here. The longer you go the less you care
What’s your secret? It’s been two years for me too and I feel miserable and touch starved 😢
@@iDislikeNames I guess it’s just the fact that the risk to reward hasn’t been worth it and I don’t like casual intimacy. I wasted years on emotionally unavailable or unstable men that didn’t meet my needs while I kept investing in them, lead me on and eventually I just got fed up. Got a cat and it helped with touch starvation, she gives me affection and none of the trauma of dealing with other peoples unresolved issues. Spend time on yourself, healing trauma, healthy habits, making friends, whatever you need to do for you
@@iDislikeNamesmeditating and cuddling with my cat. Use that energy for creativity. ❤
TikTok users are spreading misinformation about celibacy being strictly religious- It is not. It is a vow to abstain from sex until a certain condition is met. Abstinence refers to restriction. So when speaking it sounds awkward to say "I've abstained from sex for 5 years" or "been abstinent" as it implies restriction for reasons such as health, postpartum care, addiction, etc. Another example, saying "I'm celibate this month for Ramadan" doesn't make sense either and that's for religious purposes. Women should know deciding to be celibate is a promise to yourself not a restriction. It's calling your power back. If someone says otherwise they trying to undermine your decision.
I like this a lot, because the two words often get used interchangeably, and I made another comment about bigots misinterpreting the movement and thinking it proves them right and how that possibility infuriates me
I went thru domestic violence and also a lot of violence and aggression from men I met off of apps and it nearly destroyed me. Celibacy, independence and safety is soooo healthy and healing. Recommend it!!
Celibacy was the best choice I ever made for myself! I cried with pure bliss on my two year anniversary a few months ago, looking at how much I have grown in my self esteem.
❤❤❤
Bestie, lemme tell you about Andrea Dworkin’s ain’t sh*t husband. The reason why we can’t find most of her books is because he refuses to publish them. He holds the rights to ALL of them and it just boils my blood that women’s consciousness has been stuck for the past 50 years because a MAN is keeping this important material hostage 😡🤬
😮😮😮😮
Wow
How ironic that even a strong smart woman's greatest downfall and mistake was attaching herself to a man. There really is no benefit to being in a relationship with them.
This ia so sas 😑
For the portion at the end about not talking to men: do NOT let this prevent you from invading “male” spaces.
I am not letting any of this stop me from showing up at any space, workplace, or third place. I deserve to be here and enjoy my time or make my money just as much as any man.
Step 1 is removing the objectification by making our bodies unavailable. Step 2 is DEMANDING the right to exist equally/equitably no matter where we are or what we do.
Every man who tries to drive you away from a space wins if you give up. Do not cede anything to them, not your body, nor your time, nor your fighting spirit. The Mojo-Dojo-Casa-House is, and always has been, YOUR Dream House and it belongs to YOU.
it’s this kind of tenacity that will make the world a better place for women, right on!
I love this energy and claim this energy! 🧡 (Love the Barbie reference too!)
I love that Bumbl saying “celibacy isn’t the answer” feels so groomy! For a “women’s empowerment” based dating app, encouraging women into hookup culture because it financially benefits them is SICK!
Women you are literally dating apps product that they are selling.
I pretty much have add blockers on every sight, but when I turn them off to say, access a newspaper, I nearly exclusively get dating adds, makeup, and hair care.
I am done dating too. Too much trash out there. I am so happy alone tbh
I dated many men and they all have been extremely terrible and a complete waste of time.
I wish I knew better in my younger years
Dating men just drains your energy and leads to so much worry over someone who cant function as a decent or empathetic adult
I work in marketing and advertising and just from a marketing perspective, not even from a woman’s perspective, if this campaign came across my desk I would smack someone then quit. THIS IS A DISASTER.
Me too and they actually got to a point of putting such a huge billboard up! Ladies protect yourselves at all time
Finding ur channel was one of the best thing happened in 2024 ...trust me gurl when I say that...luv ya♥️
😭🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
So I’m not the only one who clicks as soon as she drop the video 💅🏾
🙋♀️
Always sitting infront even if im not a nuance nelly 💁♀️
@@luvrs2191haha me too!!
Every day i wonder if Manifestelle will post today.
I was on a male video about “women not wanting to work” (when it’s really just a gen z thing) and one dude typed “good maybe we can finally get some things done” yikes…
@UTTP-142, well, you apparently. Since this is the third comment I found with the same message.
Your comment made me think of something... so I'm a gen Xer, born in 77, not sure if this is still a thing with guys in the younger generations, but I always grew up hearing 'if we let women be president/run things, they would get mad while PMSing and push the nuke button'. I am not kidding, that was so commonly said through at least the 80s-00s, at that time by older men as well as younger guys, that it was even ingrained into women and they would say it too!
It wasn't until really the past handful of years that I have started remembering how common that was and how asinine of a statement it is, b/c something hit me: men have been ruling most of the world for millennia and there have been wars the entire time. Men are 100% responsible for every war that has ever happened (even in Troy, b/c Helena didn't start that war, 2 men who were fighting each other over her started it). They love to say we would push the nuke button while PMSing, but what is their excuse for having started every war ever?
@@sarahlewisphoenix4951 in the same way, gays can't get married because they can't form stable relationships, like duh, it's illegal to be gay
@sarahlewisphoenix4951 Gen X, too. Men are KINGS OF PROJECTION.
@@sarahlewisphoenix4951 Please stop with the blasphemy, you're making a lot of sense in this point.
I think you are absolutely right about the rage bait content for women.
I wonder how they would react if one day women simply stopped interacting with them even if just to tell them off
I don’t deal with men online anymore
@@Divine_Health_And_Fitness you are right
Oh baby they rage rage and try to bait You more, but i refuse to engage with them.... I just like to point out how lame is their rage bait ... Is chatartic.
Nice rage bait troll ;) .... Thats My fave but if they really SOMETHING alone the lines that i need to explain them then why they are wrong i like to also point out : 'is not My job to teach You anything, google is free, find it yourself, My time is valuable and i don't like to waste it to individuals who clearly dont want to learn anything but just win an argument"
For real, You don't want to proove ANYTHING to this type of men online, they don't want to learn Eve if You paste scientific studies with académic background they Will claim is not TRUE 😅😅😅
This reminds me of the times i was using dating apps in my early twenties. I was baffled by how much ugly men were on these apps expecting us to pick them for sex. I was talking with my male friends about how uninteresting and boring men on dating apps were, that they have no personality.
My male friends kind of agreed with me then said : "i understand your struggle. but dating apps are not for you and you should get off them. the men you look for are NOT online."
It took me one more year of trying to date men for hookups (not interested in committed relationships then) to understand they were effin' right.
Dating apps are not for quality people. Quality and interesting men exist but they're not online to begin with, so more less in dating apps.
lol the ugly part is so true..
Like you’re not cute, not committing to me nor am I getting paid for this, so why should I participate in this. The audacity always baffles me
I know they're not online but where are they? I have hobbies (sports, art) and even there I find only trash 😑
The best ways are through mutual friends or possibly work, depending on the work environment
@@peke1822 In my case, potential quality men for me were mostly in university and in the social circles i was evolving but due to me being only focused on my studies, i missed several opportunities. Now my chances are at work, scientific conferences/congresses or at my hobbies spaces
@@jinaolen786 yep
You’re right that billboard encourages grape. I grew up hearing that if you go to a man’s house (or yours) for a date “of course he expects sex”. Now they’ll say that about Bumble because Bumble says nobody who is abstaining would use that app.
👆🏻this .... That if You go to man house is scary af ... Something like that almost happen to me, but i read the mood and get out asap, but i was SO angry cuz i was there only cuz we were supposed to play videogames ... Men use this as an excuse to be vile
@@AyAReI00omg this happened to me too. They will lie and then gaslight you to believe it's your fault. Like, I'm sorry I don't speak trash or understand trash language. Even when I hear Netflix and chill, I still wonder if they ever actually mean watching marvel lol. Best to stay away .
The sharing economy revelation seriously made me gasp and then feel sick to my stomach. Celibacy is my answer ENTHUSIASTICALLY.
I stopped using dating apps because guys were upset if I didn’t put out immediately. I tried using it a few times but noticed guys were turned off because I wasn’t out there desperately looking to be validated
We LOVE @BurbNBougie ! So happy you included her content! (Girlies don’t forget to short the dating app stocks too. When they fall let’s stay spoiled 💅🏾)
Yesss let's short the dating apps!!!!
I think I was 4b before it was a thing but I naturally tend to celibate anyways because I’m Ace. However, the thing that kept and still keeps me celibate is observing the sheer misery and drama in women’s lives when they entangle themselves with men. The unwanted babies, the crazy making manipulation, all of the negatives made and still make sex unappealing because the cons drastically out weigh the pros.
Honestly, same. As a fellow ace, I have given up on dating after seeing and hearing what my friends have gone through. Bora uhai at this point
Honestly i dont even understand how women fall into the dangers of dating apps, it always seems like a scam
it's the logical next step from newspaper personals
A lot of women internalize the messaging that says male validation and having a male partner are paramount. It's patriarchal brainwashing.
Because women go on dating apps to find a boyfriend and potential future husband, but men go on dating apps to seek one night stands with many different women.
Men don't go on dating apps to look for love, but this is never explained to women until now.
It didn't use to be like this. When it was still in the early days and more "niche" to be on dating apps, you could actually meet real people on there. It was primarly attractive people who didnt have time to date traditionally. Now that it's mainstream, it's pure chaos. I would never get back on one.
They're 18 to 21 and don't know any better
Hitting the like button feels so underwhelming, I need something better than the like button!!!!
The young men at my work talk to to each other and talk to each other in about girls in the dating apps and laughed about a girl who said she didn't want phone calls(and the guy did some searching and found she had an OF and they laughed abotu it. These are the same guys who said not to take girls seriously, "you gotta treat em nice cuz it might take em a date or two or a month to get them to have sex with you, you ain't gonna wife em after all."
Also the same guys who said, they wanted the girls to get pregnent to sell the placenta after the birth for a lot of money. And joked about hiding birth control.
@@user-gu9yq5sj7cI like chasity too.
But yeah they are total hypocrites.
Iv'e made this comment before. When dating apps are rigged to benefit men, it not only hurts straight women, it hurts queer women too. When I go on a dating app, I am unable to connect with women but when I switch my preference to men, they are everywhere and they are begging to talk to me. Being queer is lonely.
I'm queer too, and Agreed ❤🥂💃
aren’t there dating apps specifically meant for lesbians? just use those
@@ceeeff2559 as much as I would like to use them, they aren't popular at least to the same level as grinder. There aren't a lot of people on lesbian dating apps and some require a paid subscription with no guarantee you will find someone to talk to.
@@ceeeff2559they aren’t much better. plus i’ve seen dudes pretend to be butches just to talk to lesbians. their options are dwindling and they’re getting desperate
**Me screaming with glee when I see the video start off with a Dworkin excerpt!!!!!!* Proceeds to sit studiously at the FRONT OF THE CLASS!!
Right?! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
yeah!!!
Front of the class unite!
We help the no nuance nellies and pickmeishas take notes🖤🌸🖤🌸
These men are being found the fuck out. I am putting all my energy into supporting women. It's a battlefield out there. Check in on your girls in relationships with men, even if they seem happy, check again, they are on the frontline😔
Not being on dating apps has generally been immensely better for my mental health. Imagine using LinkedIn but for relationships where you have to market yourself for external validation based on pictures and a surface-level impression. It's a horrible process
I am refusing to cater to men who don’t even see me as a complete human. Celibacy all the way.
I've been celibate for roughly two years. Having the time as well as the emotional and physical space to reflect on and improve my life has been beautiful. 🌻
That said, an unexpected part of the whole experience for me was how aggressively many men and even some women have reacted when they happened to find out... it's truly bizarre.
Angry confusion, jealous resentment, outrage-- seriously, it's weird how a decision that directly impacts no one other than you just triggers the hell out of people.
I so agree. Ladies please protect yourselves at all times, males will only get more aggressive and angry in the coming years
It does impact other people because you're not making your social, sexual, domestic and emotional labour available for exploitation, that's why people are angry at you.
@rejectionisprotection4448 What we have to wonder is how many of them are consciously aware that's why they're cranky about it. 😄
Hate to say it, but there's definitely that contingent that's annoyed out of jealousy. It's like, yes, I see you're in a craptastic relationship situation-- but you know you can leave, right?
But...they won't. Or to be fair-- in some cases, can't. At least not readily.
All the more reason to be out here enjoying the hell out of life-- be living proof that a woman can opt out of those situations and still thrive.
(Unrelated: love your username. 🔥 Know and appreciate personally just how true that is.)
I have been celibate for 5-6 years now, exactly because men always try to take advantage of women. I have not had a single man genuinely try to date me since my last relationship, but I have had plenty try to have “physical intimacy” with me. Unless a man is willing to be in a sincere relationship with me I am not interested in any bedroom activities. The one time that I came close to hooking up with someone I felt gross and taken advantage of and never went through with it.
That lady that said men want to spend a couple of dollar on dinner to get what they want, maybe Stateside. But over here in Europe they want to go to the park or for drinks. I told this guy I want a date where e sit down and get to know each other properly. He said lets go to this jazz place, I said cool. I was running a 10 minutes late (effort to look good) and texted him this, he said no probs I will wait there and says he got his £15 ticket and to get mine at the door, and if I don't like the place we can go to the bar close by. Stopped talking to him.
When my train arrived, I decided to go shopping and responded to his check up to tell him I don't know why he invited me at all and blocked him. This was a Bulgarian guy. Over there men pay for dates, but as soon as they come to London and see all the free sex, they quickly ditch their roles whereas women are expected to be feminine and dress up for dates still.
A bar doesn't equal sex either.
You can’t sit down and get to know each other at the park, eh?
Not sure if you want to cover this, but another woman (Sal Grover) made an app specifically as a female only space and is now being sued bc it is female only. The case is called “Tickle vs. Giggle” bc the app was called Giggle and the person suing for entry is legally named Roxy Tickle.
I’d love to hear more women talk about this case. It’s very scary to me how many women support trans when it’s against our best interests. Seeing a man drag a woman to court because she told him “no” is actually really F’ed up and I wish more women would open their eyes to what this ideology is doing to our language and rights.
Oh i wish Elle covers this.Now they hate us so much that they try to be "us" and entering our spaces and forcing lesbians to date them.
@LUCYDebDolly yes
Thank you for the Andrea dworkin quotes. I am old but she opened my eyes when I was a young woman. She is incredibly relevant today. I am also so glad to see women coming off the dating apps and protecting themselves. Love your videos!
I had to do some research on the 4B movement, I had heard of the movement before but I didn't realize it had a name. I am so proud of the women in and out of these comments, 4B for life!
In 2009, the 20-something millennial woman who hadn’t managed to participate in the “liberation” between the sheets (because ever since 1998, teenage dudes had been frying their brain with internet 🌽 and you could feel the entitlement and it gave you the ick) was shamed for still being a unicorn. These days, a 40yo female unicorn is the Queen 4🐝 who, in her wisdom, was capable of not giving it away to dusty non-bears. She didn’t let herself be gaslit out of her own sanity and self-love. She’s like Artemis. It’s beautiful.
Men detected
@@azzv.kuskatan What happened? There was a comment by a lady unicorn I was about to respond to and then suddenly it had disappeared and yours popped up. Was there a visit by a raging non-bear that I missed??
This!!
We've been tricked for so long.
I'm in my mid-30s, and college was pretty brutal as a woman who always refused to give males access for anything less than a committed relationship. Got a lot of rude comments about how I thought too much of myself, and if I didn't give them what they wanted they would just go find someone who would. I never regretted it, but it was pretty disheartening knowing that that was the game, and so many of my female friends not believing me. It's nice to see the awareness kicking in. I know it's probably too much to hope that the men* will learn and grow from this, but at least it'll make it easier to find the men who are worth having because the no-effort babies will be so busy tantruming and making themselves obvious that we can all avoid them.
@@sarahy9513 There‘s this SNL sketch about the millennial show „Girls“. Tina Fey plays a new girl from rural Eastern Europe and she tells the „liberated“ lady: „You are unpaid lady of the night? You’re lower than dog.“ It‘s an old game: Mary Wollstonecraft wrote in 1792: „Women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to their sex, when, in fact, men are insultingly supporting their own superiority. (…) This homage to women’s attractions has distorted their understanding to such an extent that almost all the civilized women of the present century are anxious only to inspire love, when they ought to have the nobler aim of getting respect for their abilities and virtues. (…) Happy would it be for women, if they were only flattered by the men who loved them; I mean, who love the individual, not the sex.“
If you recognized what had been happening (even subconsciously, despite all the shame they‘ve made you feel): You needed to be ostracized. As lonely as it’s been: It’s a compliment. And finally, because men not longer control the narrative, all us grown ladies can shout that (lived and recorded) truth in the direction of young women from the rooftops. They will not be alone, reading the books of feminist past and feel like they’re losing their minds because society doesn’t reflect that lived experience back to them. Maybe the opportunity to prevent their gasl1ght1ng is an outlier in time: Let’s use it.
I'm done with regular dating.
That billboard sounds angry, and rather aggressive too. I've been celibate for going on 8 yrs now, and happier than ever. My creativity has flourished, and my life has improved in all areas, especially emotionally, confidence level, etc. And also not having my judgement clouded by randim s3x partners. Religious or not...s3x literally joins you at the root chakra, energetically speaking, and that's a VERY BIG deal. Not something to be just given away randomly. The root is your foundation to being, your existence, your SAFETY, acceptance in the world. It's your ground level of your energetic being.The fact that they sound so angry about not being able to access, and DESTROY your foundational well being is telling. It's pyschopathic and should be avoided. ❤💌❤
I wish this was one of the top comments, everything your saying is so spot on
I'm loving the vibe in this comment section . I'm 50yo and my heart is so full of joy listening to younger protecting their peace ,making me so grateful my hard earned lessons are being taught and listened to. My best decision has been a child free life 💯🌻💜WOMEN WE MUST STICK TOGETHER AND LIFT EACH OTHER UP 🌻💜💯💋
This is the year of The Awakening.
You’ll love this story: I didn’t want to have a young male therapist, but eventually, for the lack of better options, I gave in and went to that therapist my doctor referred me to. The guy ended up challenging my decision to be celibate for the time being, cynically devaluing and deflecting my explanations: both the scientific and logical ones and me saying that sex can feel sacred to me. And that happened more than once. And yes he was on dating apps, apparently frustrated that women here prefer not to engage in hookups.
I spent years of working on my mental health all on a man who refused to help himself up. He probably thought my love language was "fixing" people. I got nothing in return and yet he demanded more from me when I was on my lowest. Ladies, watch who you date and do NOT give them unwarranted free access to you, let alone your bodies. We always want the best for eachother and do ungodly things to help people. I made that guy from a racist to a non racist, do you even get those services in therapy? Imagine if we all combined our energies to some greater purposes. I wonder what kind of mental services you guys used to provide to men and people around you
^ she’s gonna be right back in the same situation with a ‘toxic’ guy because he’s exciting. Meanwhile she’ll ignore all of the decent suitors because they’re ‘boring’
the ad might as well have said "c'mon, you know you want it"
Yep, grapey vibes for sure🤮🤮🤮