How To FACE & HEAL The TRAUMA That Dictates Your Life: Paul Conti, MD | Rich Roll Podcast
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- Опубліковано 25 тра 2024
- Dr. Paul Conti is a Stanford & Harvard trained psychiatrist and expert in treating trauma, personality disorders, and psychiatric illnesses. He is also the author of 'Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic'. Today's conversation is a masterclass on all things trauma-how to understand it, heal it, and prevent it. To read more & peruse the full show notes👉🏾bit.ly/richroll705
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FILMED AND EDITED BY BLAKE CURTIS & DAN DRAKE
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www.dandrake333.com/
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:34 - Defining Trauma
00:05:41 - Paul Talks About His Past Trauma Experience
00:07:22 - Gaining Self-Realization
00:09:13 - Fear, Shame & Guilt All Too Often Prevent Us From Seeking Help
00:11:44 - Why Have We Formed Maladaptive Behaviors with Trauma?
00:15:48 - Exploring Deeper into Guilt and Shame
00:25:30 - Ad Break
00:27:22 - Taking a Boarder Look at How Trauma Can Manifest
00:34:55 - Looping a Desire to Rewrite the Past
00:37:13 - Getting Out of a Negative Mindset Loop
00:39:07 - The downstream impact of chronic trauma - Rich's Upbringing
00:47:40 - Getting into a safe mindset to tackle fear and shame surrounding trauma
01:00:00 - PTSD / other ways trauma can present itself in life
01:02:29 - Trauma induced sleep impingements
01:06:30 - Repetition Compulsion Behaviors
01:11:21 - Why do some people perpetrate their own abuse and trauma?
01:15:44 - Weaknesses with the Medical System for Treating Trauma/PTSD
01:25:09 - Medical professional ‘Burnouts’
01:26:59 - What’s the path forward to repairing our healthcare system?
01:32:35 - How do we ‘get better’?
01:37:22 - Variety of therapeutic approaches and modalities available
01:44:19 - Thoughts on pharmaceutical interventions
01:47:41 - Thoughts on psychedelics
01:50:37 - Final Thoughts
* * * * *
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Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, visit my website or check out these two the NY Times articles:
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My husband shockingly died of suicide earlier this year. This interview was incredibly insightful and such a balm for my soul. I felt glimmers of hope that there is the possibility of finding a meaningful, fulfilling life for my children and I again. Thank you both so much. I'm very very grateful 🙏
love to you🙏
It’s wonderful that you are here on this site, you will get so much help here from real life situations, both from Rich himself and his amazing guests. The many books that have been written by them are very helpful and definitely worth having, but there is nothing as powerful as two human beings sharing their own stories, their insights, and the many ways they found to move towards healing. Sending all the love I can to you and your children ❤️🙏🏻
❤❤️❤️
I'm sorry for your loss, have you got a solid support in place?
My father committed suicide 30 years ago when I was 27 and somehow this anniversary of his death has brought out many feelings I still had not dealt with. I'm getting help but it absolutely blew me away that it came up again.
An incredible episode that can be categorized as truly important. Thank you Dr Conti and Rich Roll for taking the time to record this amazing conversation!
yes! Thank you all for posting this! i think the main reason most people don’t seek help is because we have and lost trust in therapist and the medical system in a huge part - You Tube has been the most informative way to get insight 🙏🏼 thank you
Andrew, you have given me an education in neuroscience over the past year, in a language I can understand, and thanks to you I now understand what happened in my body and my brain during and after the many traumas I have experienced. It’s a joy to see you here, on the ‘emotional’ side of things - this coming together of both sides will bring a lasting solution for our woes. Thank you so much ❤️
Right it’s so great
I second that Andrew, it is the most important thing in the world that we all need to learn as soon as possible - how to process our traumas, tap into our own wisdom & enlightments throughout the healing process and discover our own authenticity, allowing it to develop naturally in the newly learnt skills of creating safe and healthy conditions for us to grow. I am deeply grateful to all of you gentlemen for been so committed to this field of work and helping the humanity to learn, find answers and heal. We need more people like you to counteract the toxicity in our culture. I love your work, the way you are delivering it and the incredible vibes, thank you for caring Andrew.
Agreed! The three of you are incredible human beings!
Trauma clouded every moment of my life- it still does some days. Being the product of partner rape by an abusive husband, left alone for 3 days as an infant in a remote cabin in the NWT of Canada, having a gun pulled on me as a child, family suicides from various mental illness, abuse, neglect, rape by age 8, frightened and alone, sleeping with a knife or baseball bat bc your mother's boyfriends climb through your window, etc etc. Yet, I survived and keep relentlessly, examining my life, motivations. Podcast such as this, books, great community based resources and compassionate friends go a long way to heal and break any destructive patterning. Thank you for this episode, Rich.
Dr. Leaf has a podcast, book etc, she's studied and has great ways to move on. I've never heard anything like her, AND she tells how to do it. I pray your life will head a different direction, your mind is a big part of how you do that. Others can only be so supportive. Please look her up Hugs
Sending you love 💕! Sorry you had to experience life in such away. I am glad you are doing better
❤️❤️❤️ you are strong! Wow
Bravo!
May God Bless you endlessly over and over again
Am I the only person who avoided watching this for weeks, had their mind blown, wrote a really long comment and then deleted it? Baby steps, baby steps ...
INCREDIBLE episode, Rich! You and your incredible guests like Dr. Conti are helping so many people!
Here goes, thanks for sharing
Me too. I suffer from cPTSD.
Yes, most of us have a buildup of a lifetime of large traumas and micro traumas that are nervous systems deal with. The work of Irene Lyons explains these effects and stresses how small doses (titrations) are necessary in order not to overwhelm our nervous system when healing, just as you experienced. Baby steps is correct,
For me meditation, mantras, forgiveness (including self), acceptance and gratitude, as well as slowing down my life by moving away from the city, made the biggest differences in healing the trauma. I survived a three year period of great loss (lost my partner of 20 years and both parents to cancer, then my business, followed by my wealth, home and a slew of fair-weather friends... All the foundations of past stability were gone. I have had to rediscover who I am and what my purpose is, minute by minute trying to stay present.
Well done on making it through so much … and the fact that you’re here listening to this conversation is a good sign that you’ve no intention of giving up. The journey towards healing is tough but very very rewarding - when you’re in a state of healing, as opposed to a state of suffering, the world starts to😮 feel like a wonderful place again, full of promise and endless possibilities. I hope you inspire many others. ❤️
Meditation is life-changing too 👍🏼
@@valtracey6180 Loves your response
Suffering through loss was your teacher. Time to read The Power of Now, you are onto something there.
@@Misslotusification great recommendation - and the follow-up, ‘The New Earth’ … really inspirational. Start with learning to live in the present - respond rather than react - this will prevent new hurts being added and give you space to process the old ones.
Your experience is pretty much the same as mine. Minute by minute sometimes is so true! Feel it was meant to be I saw this video and your comment. I come away with a feeling of purpose in healing my own trauma. Trauma is affecting all of us and our world as they talked about.
This has been extremely helpful. I was in a car accident 21 years ago; my vehicle was struck by a train and my passenger died. The guilt and shame that I’ve struggled with for two decades..man. Thank you for giving me some knowledge to help me today❤️
That sounds horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I hope you go on to have the healthiest life you can in part helping others as well. Any moment can change one life, there's no reverse. It's time to move on... Hugs
My grand daughter killed her best friend in a drunk driving accident. She’s in jail for 4 years and is having a hard time but getting therapy
God Loves You & so do WE !!! I know how difficult it can be to Truly Forgive YourSELF. 💔
Tragedies may occur & survivors are left with the responsibility of Living with The Aftermath. We are ALL IMperfect, as Human Beings, but We also are able to extend the truly miraculous GIFT of Forgiveness 🙏💛 🐦
......to ALL. 😘
@Jim Parsons I'm so sorry that that has happened and it makes me realize that I got away with it with nothing but pure luck that I didn't kill anyone in all those terrible occasions when I drove while drinking. Wishing your granddaughter a good recovery and that she can move on.
Love how black background silences all the other influence and helps focusing solely on the dialogue!
I have been working in the addiction space for decades and I am convinced that trauma is the root cause. Thank you for such a beautiful and masterful conversation.
Most definitely.. I took oxy every day from the age of 29 to 38.. every. single. day... I didn't even know "emotional pain" was a thing.. I didn't really take it to get high, I took just enough to feel "normal". The key is figuring out why you're altering the mind and go after that.. but I really didn't have any clue to the trauma I was trying to escape.
As a substance use disorder counselor, I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Yep
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her
@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
I can relate to what you're saying. Chances are you are trauma bonded to her and I realize I'm operating without any specific information but I wouldn't be surprised to find out your ex-wife has a character disorder of some kind.
@@watchin_kc That’s exactly what I’m thinking too.
Pro tip: thoughts are like cars on a street. You need to stand back and let them go by... or else you're gonna get run over!
I just relapsed in my alcoholism. I’ve been listening to several of these podcasts today. Very helpful. My takeaway is I’ll be going to AA mtg this afternoon. Felt I was above AA. I grew up w so much shame. The mtgs I have gone to have been so helpful. I’m done trying to figure out why I don’t keep going when it helps me so much. I m pretty sure this will mean I can never drink again. I’m giving up. Today I’m going
Keep going!! You can do it ♡ and you deserve to live happy and healthy ♡
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to discover the best version of yourself and live life Alive! Your uniqueness is your superpower!! Much love to you on your journey. You may stumble in various ways, but the only failure is forgetting who you are....not daring to imagine a life you love. Listen to all that gives you reminders of who you are and where you Are going. ✨️
You’ve got this.
The key is never focus on shaming/judging/emotionally punishing the relapse but to have utmost compassion, love over that hurt part which drove your senses to intolerable threshold to drink … then focus on feeling, processing and healing that part… my friend.
Don’t muscle through addiction and muscle in will power … go inside and turn that part of the nervous system that can show self compassion … my friend.
Sending you much love
We make a decision to change and get the support to take it a day at a time if you want it that's great sometimes may need support from other sources some can trigger you if their trauma is similar to your situation
What a beautiful conversation. I just wish that more people would understand that they have been through trauma, and it shows up in the lives every single day. In the choices they make. In their response to stress. In the choices they decide NOT to make. Trauma is having a parent who doesn't understand their own emotional lives. Trauma is having a parent who talked you out of your feelings. Trauma is who tells you that you are "too much" or "lazy" or any other kind of shaming language. That little "T" trauma will be in control of every important decision you make in life.
Well put, every detail of ones life is effected by trauma, the way that you look at yourself, the way you relate to others is major, so much of one's reality is distorted negatively. We are being triggered left right and centre.
Empathy is number one feelings matter reality triggering it can happen its happened to me after you block it out for years the ones who don't talk about their feelings are the ones hurting others physically and emotionally and spiritually somethings the choices weren't your own it just happened around you threatened
"Trauma is having a parent who doesn't understand their own emotional lives" - YES. Most people never uncover the "why", but I studied the mind/subconscious until I finally got down to the "why". My mom was very damaging, but it was done to her as a child (and her siblings), & just like he describes, they unconsciously run that same program to their children. I don't blame her, she wasn't consciously aware. I forgive, let go & work on myself. Life is a mirror reflecting back the patterns held in the mind. I just wish I had understood it a long time ago.
All those things sound very traumatic and is called abuse.
I believe in naming things properly, and once we can name a thing, we can change a thing.
Recognizing what something specifically is, is so important. As in this example Trauma is something we need to figure out how to explore and find help to work through our trauma that is secretive to us and/or held in, where as if something is specifically abuse there is a big difference on the action for abuse. For abuse you must tale immidiate action, seek help, and tell someone.
I say this with the caveat that I understand I may be partially to completely wrong. And/or missing something all together.
Wow, Rich’s story is almost just like mine. My mom lost her father when she was 17, and they had immigrated from Cuba just two years before. Not until recently (I’m 45) did I realize that it was that event, that caused her to be afraid of everything, and caused her to become so controlling and overprotective with me. She never got help and it affected her moods, and the way she saw the world. It has had a profoundly negative effect on me, with anxiety and depression since I was maybe 8-9 years old. I remember seeing her crying all the time when I was little, and it made me feel so bad. I wish I had pushed her to see a therapist when I was younger, but I didn’t even know why she was how she was. I’m just now starting to face the world and try to think more positively, but it’s really hard to change when this is so deeply engrained in who I am. It’s so sad that her problems made me into such a scared and insecure person, when I am intelligent and a caring person. I’ve been misunderstood my whole life, which has just made it all worse. I need to find a therapist.
Good luck my friend.
Recognition of the pain is the first step and the willingness to take the next one, Will and its never too late to heal from when you start to realise how generational trauma has affected the family including all the societal and the cultural issues that affects all life to some extent. Very few come to understand it early in life for all sorts of reasons. All the best, trust the process and you will find your way to peace and harmony
Will, I hope you find a therapist you can connect with. Honesty aside, this is key to successful therapy... You may also want to look up HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) by Elaine Arons. Your last sentence of being misunderstood made me think of HSP, as I am one myself and often felt misunderstood. Good luck and I wish you well.
You've understood and resumed well the mechanism of your trauma and where your fear takes its roots. What else is there to explore? Or rather, after the exploration, grab The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.
mY biologically assigned "mother" lost
her mom at *17* too! allegedly of course.
And her dad died when she was 5, always
allegedly. May The Lord grant me witness
status over these rejectors upon The Day
My ex husband committed suicide, then a few years later my sister committed suicide. Then my domestic partner was physically assaulting me to the point I had 2 concussions. I haven't even been able to get through this entire discussion but I am trying.
Keep trying! Your brain can change💪
Im pretty sure the type of therapy your mum needed wasn’t available to anyone adulting at that time. I have compassion for myself for that very reason. Trauma and healing were not understood or recognised like this a generation ago. Knowing this also allowed me to completely forgive my mother for not being the mother I needed. My mum was completely unsupported in those times. ❤
True 👍 previous generation had even worse.
My mother was completely unsupported, psychologically, as well. Once I began looking at what my mother went thru, thru my eyes as an adult, I cry every time at the amount of rejection and abandonment she experienced and how I cannot tell her I understand, she's been gone now for decades. Connie oct 2022
Same experience with my mom. Nothing but compassion for what she went through. The resources available to me are unparalleled in comparison.
There are places in North America where effective therapy is still not widely available. I recently left Vancouver, Canada where the government health system is crumbling.
Mine too 😔
"I wanna double click on one piece, which is the fear..." Rich Roll Love this modality of speaking.
I loss my elder sister who raised me few months ago to suicide. I m still lost for words, I have so many questions and no answers. My mother also die few weeks after my sister. I kinda feel numb 😢😢😢and I want to heal but I don’t know how so this video looks promising
I am so sorry, my friend. This is so much to bear. I hope you can find some healing amongst the chaos. 🙌✨♥️
I am so, so sorry. Stay strong. You are loved and protected, repeat it to yourself all the time. I am sending a lot of love to you❤️
Hi Paan
I hope you find a way with strength, there is a podcast I regularly listen to which I would highly Forrest Handson & his father took a lot about trauma, family relationships. The both of them are extremely knowledgeable very empathetic wise men they took the way that you can easily understand them, I'm patronising and not too highbrow. ❤️💗❤️.
Take care
Angie
So sorry. Sending you my ❤
My heart goes out to you, i can’t imagine the pain you are in
After you watch this, absolutely watch the interview Dr. Huberman did with him (6/6/22 video) if you want to delve deeply into the science of trauma. It was really fascinating!
I know that being sexually abused as a child and no one believing me helped shape me. I have been in therapy. It's helping. Thanks Dr. Conti!
I'm sorry you dealt with sexual abuse, and especially that you were brave enough to tell, but were not believed and supported. You deserve to be believed, protected, and supported. Keep seeking healing.
Yes...me too!!!
The sexual assault was not your fault my friend… never was… and just because people didn’t validate or believe you doesn’t make you to be the cause of this .
The adults around you didn’t have the skills to stand up and protect you… by not believing you… they don’t need to deal with the fact they don’t know how to draw boundaries, cut off toxic relationships, etc.
So, please know you now can find resources to protect yourself. And please, hold this hurt child inside you with love… lots of love.
Im so sorry Dana. I believe you. You deserved to be protected.
It’s all free will …if you didn’t say no maybe you enjoyed it ..I hear many ppl do then live with the shame …
So impressed by the compassion and deep level of caring by yourself and this guest.
That is the key!
This is such an amazing conversation from start to finish. My heart is full kmowing that there are people who dedicate their lives to help people heal. I have CPTSD, had an extremely abusive childhood, proceeded to get into abusive relationships, lost my son to an overdose 2 years ago, battle alcoholism myself and have been overloaded by layers and layers of trauma. I just started AA 12 step program and its the first time I have hope and peace and also in therapy. I will be a success story, I won't give up. Thank you both so much. I was glued to the entire 2 hours.
Keep going. We see you and we believe in you. NEVER give up!! You have it in you to conquer this.
I'm so proud of you for making the choice to recover, get better & try to heal some of the damage so that you can be free of the legacy put on you by people who, no doubt, were wounded themselves (in who knows how many ways.) If you can heal yourself, face the inner pain & process it & learn to change how you cope with bad days, then you'll influence so many others to understand that we can do somethnig about our inner pain other than reaching for a substance to obliterate our personalities to try to bury our pain further. It never goes away like that, whereas grieving the losses, the wounds done to us, with a therapist's help, can cause real healing to happen so that you don't have to carry it on your heart all your life.
We all do that as youngsters, reach for substances to alter the way we feel so lousy, usually it's what we witnessed everyone around us doing to deal with their pain. In my case, doing that so young to cope, I found myself an adult, mid thirties who could NOT shove 1 more drop down ANY deeper & I had NO skills to cope because I always got wasted to stand the pain, never was taught any other way to cope. In my mid 30's, I found nothing held the pain at bay.anymore.
I finally found strength & belief in myself & have learned to be GOOD to me, to nurture myself, listen to my mind and body when I feel bad and lay down ad feel it until it eases up. I've learned to use my critical inner dialogue to be loving towards myself & understanding, patient, suppoertive. It's made so much difference in my life, just learning that it was ME who had to learn sme coping skills and better ways to speak in my own head, I had to change the way I thought to change how I experienced the world and iI've learned to value myself enough so that I stopped allowing abusive people into my life.
May you have the strength of the angels with you dear .
This is great , I like the spirit don't give up and you will be fine. I struggled with PTSD for years luckily I was introduced to albovegateway , now I'm on cbd suppliment and microdosing and it's been a great help .
sending you love from norway. You will heal, I pray
Blessings to you, Keep going
Rich Roll was the beginning of hope for me, after the effects, physically, emotionally, and psychologically from a suicide attempt. The episodes was a source of strength, encouragement, acceptance, and love. I one of my hopes in life is to look him in the eye, give an embracing hug where he feels the power of love. No words need to be spoken between us !!!!!
Dr Conti is so articulate, not a wasted word. Thank you both Rich and Paul for this important discussion, all very true, needed, and profound.
I’ve spent the last 6 years taking care of my parents. I’m a nurse and felt it was my duty to care for them even though we were not close and actually growing up with them was tough for me. My dad died in 2020 and my mom came to live with me. It was hard as we were so different. My whole life changed. No working except to care for both of them and then moving my mother into my home in a different state. I was angry and not always nice. She knew how to push my buttons and was passive aggressive. She just died in July of 2022. I feel like I don’t want to be a nurse anymore. It’s like I don’t know who I am. Shame, guilt and avoidance rule right now. FYI I’m a Mental Health RN. This makes no sense to me.
Is she still pushing your buttons? I thought I'd be free if my problems with my mother when she died but three years later, they still exist. Know what you mean about shame, guilt and avoidance but it has got to the point where I can't avoid anymore.
The book that opened my eyes was Will I ever be good enough by Dr. Karyl McBride - this started my journey of recovery
Don’t feel guilt shame -
You MAY have UNresolved issues deep withIN You
......which You may have been SO BUSY + SO focused on Caring for OTHERS, for so long now,
that You've lost
🙏 SELF Awareness 🙏
I recommend You commit to the regular + long term practice of Y 🏵 G A.
It goes beyond Words + Intellectual understanding.
It may help You Experience YourSelf......perhaps for the 1st time in your LIFE !
Everything else You may possibly do to gain a more Compassionate view of your Parents will require some sense of grounding in Yourself . Y❄GA is the most Organic, Strengthening, Immediate, Healing + Enjoyable WAY
I know to do ALL of these things simultaneously + effectively. You WILL gain INsights into Yourself & re your Family's Story FROM YOUR BODY, as You learn to B R E A T H E, 'Sit' with your FEELings as well as your Thoughts & Stretch OUT the Stress, the Pain + the CONstriction You've been 'living' with + under.
God Bless You ! 🎊🎊🎊
You're an amazing person and daughter. You took care of your parents and you selflessly take care of others. It's ok if you feel you cannot do it any more. You deserve happiness :)
We aren't bad if bad things happen to us. Addressing our emotional needs is the basis for everything else. No one makes it without someone to care for us till we can learn to care for ourselves as well. Thank you, you two, for being brave, loving examples of the true power of men and people. 💕
I'm a psychiatry resident and so jealous of those who get to learn from Dr. Conti! Our training on how to be trauma-informed has seemed lacking to me so far.
Good for you, Elizabeth, the world needs people like you ! Keep going, there will opportunities to learn at some point and you're doing a great job learning outside of your residency. 😘
I'm sure it is indeed lacking.
The psychological profession is, for some reason, absolutely dense on this subject and seems too committed to being unteachable, rigidly clinging to pretending the DSM is is the be all end all ...
My experience most in the psychological perfection do more damage to people with trauma
Trauma is deeply physical. All of my healing and awakening experiences were through the gateway of the physical. All adults that denied my physical health problems as a kid, even doctors and even into adulthood, were denying its physical reality. They would call it mental. By this, they mean fictional. It's remarkable to live the same theme over and over again. I am dedicated to becoming as strong as possible, and thanks to the extreme life experiences I've had, i know how to support others in their healing too. Forget the ideas and the talking. All noise. Listen and watch for the physical reactions and needs.
I have chosen to recover from trauma, next to having my child, it's been the best decision I've ever made. Thank you for this incredibly powerful conversation. So many need this message, Rich and Paul.
“Chosen to recover from trauma”.. love that. Such a powerful declaration, because ultimately it is a choice.
🎉😢
The timing of this interview is perfect, following on from your interview with Gabor Mate last week on the subject of trauma and how it seeps into our culture when we fail to acknowledge or recognize the wounds it leaves in its trail - if we don’t process it in a healthy way. The underlying message is the same and this conversation re-enforces the lessons I learned from you in conversation with Gabor last week, and also with a different perspective in this conversation, some new lessons. But all with the same goal and the same aspirations - collective healing for our world. This is a wealth of good insights shared for the benefit of all.
This is true. I had so much trauma by 18. My dad died at 15, I had something wrong with my perception of my looks and weight, my mind would race, I had an abusive sister take over my father role, brother has psychosis and although I could continue in this for a while, I broke and I just didnt care about any of the things I once loved. I later found out I had body dysmorphia, and have adhd ontop of shit loads of trauma that was undealt with. I broke down at 18 and let everything I loved go. I became seriously mentally ill and started to live a life in masking, avoiding reality and obsessing over my weight and latched onto unhealthy boyfriends. I wouldnt leave my uni room and even care about passing university. I had to unravel it all in therapy over the years but I only now, after releasing my trauma have free’d myself after being stuck for 12 whole years. My mind was stuck there and so was my whole life. Would always fail and repeat the trauma of what happened back there because my Ptsd of shame and guilt and trauma changed my brain completely. The suffering isnt worth it and we need people who have gone through serious serious issues to heal and teach the world what happened to them wasnt their fault and how to get out of it. I could not move because my head and body was stuck there no matter where I went. I needed this video. It’s validation of what happened to my whole psychology.
Yeah I have body dysmorphia also and most people don't know what it is I had to find out on my own it is similar to OCD though
where are you from? And how is your journey now?
@@gurpreetb477 I'm from new York city area and I'm up and down all the time I'm probably borderline my body dysmorphia isn't as bad but sometimes I have days can't leave the house still have to check myself in the mirror constantly also I'm obsessive over my skin because I had skin problems in the past and anything on my skin gets me OCD all over again
Thank you Dr Conti for been so brave to expose the medical dysfunctional ways in US of dealing with trauma. Medical, Food, Film, Gaming, Social media industries are amongst the most traumatising and ignorant of their own trauma creation in our societies today. It just leaks tons of toxicity of all of them that creates global sicknesses, which is turning into "the norms" of living unfortunately...The majority of people are so out of touch with what is healthy and what isn't these days, with leaderships that are only concerned with their own profits... Thank you Rich for inviting voices of healing and for been so open in sharing with us your own path.
It takes years to get it fix. First phase is to accept the situation. Willingly Ask for help. Let go no matter its painful. After all these, you will change. In character and life.
Yes it’s a continuous acceptance and letting go and riding out the emotions
No one is perfect.❤
My son died of suicide this year and this is so accurate. I fought so hard for 2 full years to get him the right kind of help. But it’s hard to navigate that road yourself because it’s not linear. Plus I am not a doctor I’m just a mom. 😢it’s horrible how hard it is to get help for the people who really need it now too bcs doctors assume everyone is lying or a drug addict and it’s the insurance companies and other doctors proliferating this lie that everyone is a faker or trying to score drugs from their doctors. The system is completely broken. The penal system is even worse. It’s meant to penalize people so it’s useless for helping anyone who had issues so badly they’re doing illegal activities.
Agree completely, and the medications used to "keep people sane" are the very thing that will pull them over the edge cause it's all part of pharmakia, Greek for magic pharmacy, it's all playing with people's God given phsyc ... try keep people informed before they fall into this trap...I did and escaped with my life...literally 🙏🙏
I understand. It really takes a village of a sincere family. Something I've never known, nor have my children. It can happen to any if us and my heart goes out to you. I hear what you are saying. And I feel it too. I have an adopted brother who I can never count on the system to help. Why we are ignored is becoming a mental health crisis. Just look at all the dirty laundry that's finally coming to the light. It's a joke that such a huge industry can't do better.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes the system is very very flawed. All my 💛
Nailed it. The only argument I’ve successfully deployed is, Why on Earth would I manipulate such a pathetic social system to make 25% of what I’m capable of? What does it do for me to feign a debilitating illness in a nation where healthcare is a commercial product that I can no longer afford? It’s just absurd that we see the levels of suicide we do, 95% of victims diagnosed with mental illness - which tells me that a professional saw these people and FAILED - and still persist on an antiquated path of shame and fear to “drive” people out of their pathologies. Absurd.
My greatest fear is to be hospitalized against my will just because I tried to open up and some under-educated “professional” over-reacts. I’ve been hospitalized. It’s a level of frightening for a sufferer of CPTSD - many of whom have massive trust issues - to experience. “If your pain gets too severe,” we seem to be saying, “we will lock you up.” How does that address the pain? Might just as well tell victims, “Get over it. Or else.”
@coda creator you summarize my feelings about mental health exactly. A fear i live with daily and its so bazaar, you can see straight through the doctor's arrogance as they paint by number and act like god.
Brother, I see my own story in yours. I was raised in an environment of permanent domestic violence, with my mother defending the aggressor, my father. She didn't know better, or didn't have the courage to divorce him. I had to travel a journey of many years alone, working on finding answers, never letting myself be the victim of this story. It was and is such a fulfilling and enlightening journey. But with much suffering, as in your case. Thankfully I didn't commit suicide or some other form of evasion, but it was hard. Very hard. And obviously with several traumas as a consequence, many of whom I have made peace and acceptance with. So I understand, from the heart, what you felt and feel. Thank you for this so wonderful interview. My love and understanding to you and to all that share similar suffering. Love and a strong hug ❤
Beautifully written ❤️
Much love to you on your journey 🥰
@@valtracey6180 ❤️🤗
Another trauma is not the answer to the other
trauma though. I don’t believe divorce is the answer to the traumatic experience of being in a dysfunctional family or being in a family with domestic violence or with an abusive dad. In my case, my parents’ separating and divorcing after choosing not to find their way to heal and repent from their own sins, is one of the most unfair devastating trauma that we their children suffered as kids. Its negative impacts also went on affecting us in every aspects and stages of our growth as some of us got married ourselves. It will prolly continue to unfairly impact us as we age old like studies have shown. It now depends on how each one are strong enough to face all its impact and grow stronger from it all. If we don’t have God, I don’t know how to have ever been growing from it, heal from it, survive it, and how to protect my kids from not experiencing the same sufferings and trauma of coming from divorced parents. If your dad was abusive, he is the problem, not the marriage nor your mom. He should have been pushed by every family members especially his immediate family to go get help or go for counseling. If your dad was abusive, it is unfair to judge your mom and unfair to condemn their marriage to total destruction. Their marriage is an entity to be honored by all and protected. It’s like their first child before you and your siblings are born. It is your ally as their child. And you as the child of that marriage wanting it to be severed to destruction, is like wanting to kill your sibling or an ally. It’s not gonna do you any good. It will destroy you also. Your marriage, your kids, and so on. You can only speak of divorce like that so easy coz you did not experience the devastating impacts of it all from when you’re younger. You probably take marriage so lightly like you can get married without giving your whole life to be one with a wife, and without knowing what marriage is designed for, and why it was designed to be for a lifetime and not only when it feels good or feels luvyduvy with someone.
It is also unfair for you to judge your mom that she didn’t know any better. I believe she knows best for protecting you her children from the suffering of another traumatizing tyranny of coming from divorced parents.
When most women want to go the easiest route of divorce as life becomes hard, your mom prolly went the road less travelled for the greatest good of everybody except herself. And that should be commendable because she knows sacrificial love and loves unconditionally. Your mom had all the reasons to leave and live a better life on her own or with just her kids, and your dad made it is easier for her to leave by giving her a reason. She can easily leave. Money is never a reason to stay (or any other reason you can make up for her) when you’re not safe. There is no way a woman would stay is she is not safe. But her love, her love for her kids, and love for the broken kept her in a hard situation, but also where she is in constant danger but growing stronger from every trauma this broken world may have unfairly dealt her. The least you can do is not to judge her like she has not unfairly suffered enough already.
She prolly asked helped about your dad’s violence and abusive behaviors from proper people who should be helping like your dad’s parents whom he should be healing with but nobody listened. She was prolly judged by many people and heard all the negativities and lies being made up for wives who stay and fight for their marriage, kids, and fight for their hurting husband who hurts people. She probably is blamed for the unfair things done to her like she wanted and liked them at all. She was probably constantly lied about, malingered, belittled, and persecuted. She probably felt lonely, alone, ganged up on, betrayed, helpless, and all, but had hopes for her kids and hope for a better family, and hope for a better marriage someday with a healed and repentant husband in your dad.
If you were your dad, I believe you wouldn’t want everyone loose their hope on you. I believe you would be wanting and needing love and help to get you out where you are at and be healed and be a better person for others. I believe you would be calling out to God to save you from the state you are in. If you were my son, and somehow you grew up the same as your father who did not know any better about how to treat other people right, I wouldn’t want my daughter in law to loose her hope on you or loose her hope in God for you when you needed help the most.
It goes like this. If you are hurting others, that’s the worst indication that you are hurting inside. You need help from a lot of your brokenness issues but you don’t know you do, and so you are your worst enemy in so many forms. You don’t know you’re fighting against yourself to your own weakening. And so if your inner man is exhausted from constantly battling inside, the body eventually gets weak for demons also to take shelter in your body. Now your in your worst state than when you are your worst enemy. If you don’t find help, you will not just continue to destroy yourself but also others. God’s love only is the one that can save you. I don’t think any other else can help. If you cannot pray for yourself anymore, someone hoping on God can pray for you. God listens to a prayer of a person right with God.
A lot of love for you❤️
@@Gioia392 thank you ❤️
I keep expecting my father to "wake up" and apologize - but I realize now, that might not be possible - and it is up to me who must be resiliant (and help myself) before demanding anything from my parents (both parents were abusive). I've had A LOT of traumatic experiences to go through. I also realize that childhood abuse (and my being able to cope) - gave me the strength of charector to get through life.
Narcissists never apologize . The fact that you hope they will makes you 10,000 times better than they are as a conscious human being. You live consciously and purposefully. Treat yourself with kindness, mindfully.
Continuous trauma since I was an infant. Sexually abused put into foster care. Finally adopted by a narcissistic single mother. More abuse from a sibling which led me to be sent to a different state with a family member in order to protect my abusive brother. More abuse then an abusive relationship, finally escaped that life threatening situation and ended up in another abusive relationship. Married and had a son. Son was sexually abused by friend of my sons dad. Now at 32 years old it’s only been 3 years since being separated and I continued to experience trauma loosing my home loosing a job finding out about my sons abuse. No family or friend support. Just so much trauma. How can someone get help with out support.
Too much for anyone to take. I hope you can keep reaching for the light so that you can find the peace you deserve. I hope support comes in unexpected ways. You are doing so well. Keep going.
This was such a validating session, almost therapeutic for me. I'm one of those "burnt out" medical doctors who altogether quit clinical Medicine two years ago after 7 years of tethering to my sanity by shoe strings. Orthodox medicine is just contradictory to my own personal paradigms, the rigidity of medicine at this moment leaves a lot to be desired. I'm essentially starting my career in Fintech from scratch and it's terrifying, not being the fastest learner in class. But it beats going back to the chaos that is medicine. COVID was the last straw for me. I've considered going into lifestyle medicine as an alternative but it still requires seeing patients and I'm not yet mentally whole to deal with that.
Try private coaching… with a medical degree you can offer a second opinion or advice on other alternatives over zoom.
I'm right there with you. I'm furious about the beating providers are getting from Big medicine. Take care of yourself as the system doesn't care.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. But you made a huge, self-nurturing move! Be patient with yourself. This may sound strange and we don’t know each other but I feel proud of you for making that move, AND sharing it with others. All the best for you I sure wish!
The last 10 yrs caused my PTSD! I break every time I go back to my medical records and the hell to keep fighting forward!
Knowledge, compassion, attentiveness, wisdom are at the core of this episode. Thank you for having Dr. Conti on the podcast!
This is one of the best descriptions of how Trauma silently takes over your life. So true, thank you Paul Conti!
I WISH I COULD GET HELP BEFORE I DIE!
Qualified therapists are scarce for CPTSD
Yes, they are..
The more you undertake to learn about yourself though, the better.
There ARE people who understand and when you find one, it's such a good, validating feeling
I hate to say it but much of the psychological profession and should not be trusted when it comes to trauma.
Almost all of them will tell you that they expertise in trauma and in treating it but you'll find that this is not the case mostly they are DSM worshippers.
I learn more through educating myself and seeking out people who had been to the same things than I ever did by going to a person who deems himself an expert but does not even know how lacking their knowledge is because they don't like to admit that the psychological profession is not a hard science like actual medicine
Seek to learn and understand as much as you can on your own. Smoking cannabis kept me alive for a long time too but that is not a cure-all... It's just better than the prescription pills they will try to throw at you.
oh my God, this has really helped me as someone who lost a dear younger brother to suicide. Been languishing in guilt for so many years. sending everyone here love from Norway
I LOST MY MAN SHORTLY AFTER I LOST MY LITTLE BROTHER MORGAÑ AÑD I have grief and guilt. Blessings to you.
@@jennifergalberth1240 Thank you so much and I pray you find peace. It gets better with time
This guy is wonderful and brilliant. He speaks about it all this so well, yet does not lose his humanity/compassion in the process. Thank you, Rich.
We need more trained psychiatrists like Dr Conti. I hated the meds I had to go thru when I first got help. It was never explained to me why I was being given prescription meds. Years later, I realized I could have gone to therapy first before pharmaceutical interventions.
There are days I feel I can’t survive the horrible grief and anxiety attacks. Losing my daughter, parents and childhood best friend within a 2 year period. Nightfall is a heavy trigger of fear. I’m trying so hard…friends all vanished…ppl seem to be uncomfortable not knowing how to ‘fix’ it, or relate to the brokenness I feel. It is helpful to know someone out there…can understand the gravity of the impact of these completely life altering losses
You’re going to be just fine. I’m so sorry that you’ve been through these things. I understand how you feel. Please don’t ever feel alone. You’re not alone going through these things. Stay Strong and hang in there.❤
You already know your day will be much colorful and exciting when Rich uploaded a new pod that day.
1:16:40 to 1:20:00. Fu*kin-A...
It's why the psychological profession misdiagnoses trauma so often and why it's been so fk*ng dunderheaded about recognizing it's errors and still remains so stupidly stuck to worshiping the DSM and trying to cram everything into rigid labels ("diagnoses").
I stopped trusting mental health professionals long ago after I repeatedly experienced the idiotic need to classify or "diagnose" my situation but never being able to match my experience toany particular diagnosis.... So they would ignore the things that didn't fit the diagnosis du jour and/or I would be further shamed or blamed for "being resistant" because I didn't agree with the latest label being applied or the goddang medication being foisted on me which I took in good faith but soon realized wasn't the right thing.
This conversation was refreshing and I'm so glad I listened to it
These guys are still outliers in the psychological profession in their understanding of trauma..
I have still found that nine out of 10 headshrinkers who claim to specialize in trauma are still blowhards that worship the DSM and have more confidence in their expertise then the ability to observe and understand what is going on in those that come to them for help.
Seeking endlessly to understand myself seeking out information like this has helped more than years of megalomaniac headshrinkers.
The judicious use of cannabis has also done much to make life bearable and gotten me this far.
It has helped far more than any prescription medication that has been so cavalierly thrown at me.
I also don't know if it's age or what but I smoke less than ever these days, however it is still the best relief for certain symptoms.
I can totally relate to your experiences. Sometimes I think we can find more help online than trying to deal with medical professionals who only want to prescribe weird drugs.
I highly respect Rich Roll and his phenomenal podcasts. Been watching his interviews forever, and this is my favorite. SOOO GRATEFUL 💓! !!
Me too. He is realllllly doing good things. I feel like I’m taking college courses when I watch him --his exceptional line of questioning of his stellar guests!!!!!
The love of God healed me of so much.
He is a wonderful doctor, person, man and human being. He’s an inspiration and hope for humanity.
I wish they would talk about extreme traumas. Things that aren't depicted on TV or media. I feel like a lot of these things I can't relate to, if anyone makes videos or anything please give people like this some voice.
"What's truly real" What's truly real is this world is a very dangerous place and we should always be vigilant.
Rich we need to get this episode out there and promote it for others to listen to. Anyone on his team reading this I’m happy to connect you all with other outlets for free. These needs to be done
I’ve never heard such a precisely accurate description of what trauma is and what it does to us physiologically and at the level of the brain. The thing that has always confused me, and is so profoundly ironic is that our own reaction to personal trauma was to traumatize others! The way we all repeat one way or another what was done to us! Dr Conti masterfully and easily explains it in a few lines. It almost made me yell out loud “yes!!!!! That’s it! He gets it!!! “. And he does.
Polyvagal somatic work is really helping me…so is therapy, journaling, friends, meditation, etc. Thank you for the broadcast!
From all the podcasters, you really ask the best, most logical questons.
I think the hardest part is realizing you have been through trauma. It hurts to realize it and your mind will try to block it out
I agree. I was diagnosed with PTSD at 13 years old. I continued to suppress, deny, minimize for years and years. I’m almost 30, just had my first baby and all the traumatic memories came flooding back… it has been so scary finding the courage to heal and to stop denying the CSA I experienced… I’ve gotten past the denial part with the help of EMDR therapy.
Great interview.. However AA and 12 step work DO NOT WORK WELL and im sure the 98% who fail would agree. Furthermore,a few articles came out that 12 steps are not always good for ptsd. The steps were very triggering for my trauma. And a sponsor who was clueless about trauma shamed me creating even more trauma.
Its not for everyone but it does work for some people.
Agreed! Not good for PTSD... lays down additional layers of trauma... reinforced triggers.
I have so many traumas (3 wars, my birth country and two more, esquizofrenic mom,where I had to deal with from my 14 to 25 years old alone 🙄, 14 schools in 3 different countries,3 car jacks gun point to my head, typhoid fever -this was very hard) that if I did not smoke cigarettes, most probably I would have killed myself. I just keep going…self motivate on smallest details keeps me going. So yup my addiction to cigarettes no doubt comes from trauma. Unresolved pretty much
Doesn’t have to be … unresolved. You’ve already taken the first step - you’re here! ❤️
14 school and 3 countries! Dang. That’s incredible
Marta!!!
@@jimparsons4312 indeed.
This is excellent because the doctor speaks and explains psychology and physiological and neurological issues in terms that an average person of learning in these multidisciplinary fields can comprehend and apply in their lives. Thank you.
paul conti is a gem. thanks for having him on the podcast. you always ask the good questions to get the most out of the conversation. thank you
The guilt and shame are today's version of survival because of the current society's focus on self rather than survival (self IS today's survival imo). Because we so often externalize our concept of self, and self takes priority, guilt and shame become the new survival...it's the new berry we get deathly ill from, and we learn/remember that.
Well Said!!❤
This is really informative! I've been watching it for days and Dr. Conti has really shed light in trauma. He perfectly describes what I am going through. What he said in the end "you don't have to be afraid of what's inside of you," encouraged me to dig deep within. I know I can do this! Thank you for this video Rich Roll! Keep up the amazing work!
I also listened to this from Spotify during a daily drive from home to work/school. This is among the podcasts I enjoyed the most. I never thought I could last listening to a 2-hour podcast until I imagined myself an actual part of the conversation. Then, I felt more and more engaged as I learned how real trauma is in my life and of those I know very closely.
This should be weekly required listening for all humans!
I did all my Inner Child work with The Inner Council. Opening this deep trust relationship has allowed me to change one thing after another, attitudes, roles, emotional responses and making decisions with deep integrity. I also do breath-work, kundalini, hiking, cold baths, san pedro cactus and my linear programming has given way to an huge ambiguous everything that I can navigate. I have have almost any experience I want, always use pain or discomfort for progress, call out confidently to guides and masters and sit peaceful and confident that I am at the center of my story. Thoroughly enjoy the plateaus, approach the deep work with honour and know that you deserve the prize waiting at the end. Much support to you all, let's birth this new earth!
Is the cactus you mention psilocybin? Thanks
I really appreciate how this interview addresses and acknowledges that many kinds of trauma exist. For the longest time, I was experiencing symptoms of trauma like depression, fear, anxiety, changing to a semi hermetic life etc but never linked it to trauma because I'd always thought the causes had to be extreme physical circumstances like abuse or going through war. It didn't help that the first time I tried to seek help, the therapist was very old school or perhaps just a bad therapist and completely dismissed my fears, which prevented me from seeking further treatment for a long time. Only when I finally attended group therapy for depression, the counselor realized my depression was different from others in the group (it was outward rathe rthan inward) and after talking a bit more suggested I try attending the trauma group, which was extremely helpful as I truly resonated with what others were describing and where I learned that trauma can be caused by a variety of circumstances, not just through experiencing physical harm but also in situations where it is purely psychological. Coupled with learning about chronic and vicarious trauma as well as trauma from near misses was healing and affirming since oftentimes we dismiss our experiences and then never address the underlying issue despite exhibiting all the signs and suffering silently.
Amazing! Thankyou you amazingly special people! Having dealt recently with new trauma from my bit__ narcissistic mother this is definitely a MASSIVE help in my healing! I’m the scapegoat child of a narcissistic family system & sadly been homeless since the last 7 months & living under the narcissistic mothers house who has been psychologically abusing me for the last 7 months! Finally she is away overseas for 2 weeks but I’m staying on my own to even keep away from my sibling who bullies me every now and then as I’m the scapegoat of a narcissistic family system
(& my brother is the one above me)
🙄
I was attacked in the early morning of June 28th 2015. My world view has forever been changed, as well as the way I trust all people. I don’t blame myself, but people close to me do.
This podcast couldn’t have come at a better time for me! Thank you so much. I was in such a dark hole and listening to this showed me some light and opened me up to going and getting some help. I can’t thank you both enough 🙏🏼♥️
A whole Lot of people are unaware of knowing that confronting and dealing with their trauma will help them. I think that’s why many people refuse to get help.
His book is excellent, along with Gabor Mate's 'When the body says no'. It's got to seep into our public conscience much more than the prevailing "if you just get successful and rich, all of your demons will be solved"... as much as we see contrary to it daily, it's still most people's aspiration
I'm trying to sort through the confliction I have between acknowledging trauma and over identifying with trauma. Elkhart Tolle is stretching my understanding of self and seems to preach a discipline of separation from the identity we conceptualize with our emotions. Glad to be alive at a time when these conversations are available to everyone.
Events and Traumas happened to me when I was teenager changed me over night I miss me 😔that me before like died 😭
The last part of the conversation really got me - actually all of the conversation did. My husband died by suicide 18 months ago. I'm still in shock. He was my great love. He saw his therapist days before his passing and didn't disclose his suicidal thoughts to him. He spiraled quickly like quicksand. Suicide is complicated. I feel like a huge part of me died with him and every day is a clawing up and out and survival. Thank you for this conversation and your loving compassion.
God bless you.
I’ve found that most counselors are poorly versed in PTSD. This was a great podcast and my thanks to you both. M
God Bless and keep you and your families ❤🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
I've just bought the book. What a great guest!
I lost my second brother July 25, 2022 in a bicycle accident. Lost my first brother May 15, 1973 in a scuba cave diving accident. I was 12. Never processed or grieved my first brother’s death. I’m hoping to process and grief both. This podcast most definitely helps. Both traumatic deaths.
Such a good podcast! Been living with trauma from an abusive step dad for the last 20 years, every relationship is the same, anxiety meds temporarily would help me and as soon as I’d stop them I’d go right back to square one. I’ve been watching your videos and Andrew hubbermen and it’s been life changing, and I’m only about 2 weeks in to this new way of thinking and being, bought a journal for the first time in my life, I’m already noticing my adrenaline response is more in control and my thoughts feel and seem more organized and less focused on fears and I’m developing new thoughts, bigger thoughts. Thank you for your work and knowledge, I’ve always been treated for severe anxiety and it’s never ever helped, again just polishing the hood.
It is all about the trauma, it’s what 12 steps fails at badly, costing so many lives
THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY INSIGHTFUL VIDEO!! Thank you!
This really is top notch I must say.
This was amazing, wish I saw it sooner!! Peace and love 💕
Thank you both for sharing this info
12 step meetings could help so much. Co- dependent meetings and adult children of dysfunction families meetings have saved my life. God bless😇
I grew up with a sexually abusive alcoholic father and a codependent mother who knew what he was doing but did nothing. It was easier for her to see me be abused than to leave and keep me safe… having a baby has brought out everything regarding my CSA. I’m done denying and minimizing what I went through. It’s time to face it and heal. I’ve been doing EMDR, meditating, journaling, self help workbooks, and craniosacral therapy. It’s helped tremendously! I confronted my parents and have blocked them out of my life. It’s time I speak my mind and my truth so I can be my most authentic self.
Rich Roll is an excellent interviewer. Asks really good questions and puts himself in the mind of the audience
I am an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, dysfunctional family. I have numbed the pain from my childhood with many substances that have driven me into the rooms of 12 steps. It wasn’t until I worked the yellow workbook in Aca that I found freedom from trauma. What an addition, this man’s life work is to that program. God bless him.
Trauma is locked in my mind & body… its painful when its triggered.
Been a victim of trauma and chronic anxièty for so long but after micrödsïng remedy it got rid of my anxiety and help me manage my traumatic episodes, look up albovegateway.
....On Instagram, they have other options too.
What a wonderful man with so much knowledge
These new understandings of how all the obvious large traumas and all the micro traumas that We endure throughout life & how they affect our nervous systems... Understanding our nervous systems help make so much more sense of the symptoms we suffer and how we move throughout our lives. The work of Irene Lyons, her explanations and everyday examples has brought so much clarity to these topics & validates our bodies attempts to bring us out of the fight, flight, freeze response of our nervous systems. If we could get back to these basic understandings, our Western medicine would be forced to change and we would all be healthier for it.
Make this core curriculum for all folks attempting bravely to get sober and clear-minded. So that we can go forward. This discussion is rich! Thank you 🙏
Dr Conti’s voice and presence is very soothing.
You's Heaven sent!
Whenever you fall, once you get back up again it pushes you forward!!
Vulnerability is a measure of your bravery!!
Failure is part of your journey!!
Wowww- I have some bells going off.. I always wondered why I was so extremely in love with ballet. I am wondering if it has to do with the nature of ballet- I realize that with any discipline - whether it is becoming a professional musician or athlete, etc. - it takes an extreme amount of intense training - but I would say that ballet is the ultimate - if you are going to be professional - you have to be on the level of an athlete; but you also are an artist; plus you have to be able to memorize copious amounts of choreography; plus you have to have this perfectly chiseled body; how you hold your pinky matters… it is the ultimate expression of perfectionism. I am starting to see why I was so drawn to it - I was raised by some perfectionists & also it was a perfect excuse to get down on myself and not be good enough..In ballet - you are never good enough.. I am all for doing things with excellence - but if only we could still love ourselves at the same time..
This is by far the most profound podcast I’ve listened to. For myself and the people in my life that I love. Being in my own journey dealing with my own trauma these all hold true and having been in a relationship with a partner who struggles with depression is now looking at their own traumas their navigating, my hope is that more people take the time to do that and listen to messages like this.
Thank you Dr. Conti. As someone who went through acute trauma growing up, this talk was helpful for me. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mom’s nephew was abusive towards me, my mom was unemployed and had an eating disorder, my dad had drinking and anger problems, my younger brother pulled a weapon on me when I was 16 right before a family photo, and my mom’s older brother was psychologically abusive towards me. My dad’s older brother viewed me in a condescending way because I was neurodivergent. I also survived several close calls with brown bears including being charged by a brown bear sow that was on a moose carcass. I overcame so much but I’m just getting started in my recovery.
An incredible episode.. Mindful, insightful and real. Thank you so much to both of you for your ability to convey issues and solutions with heart. Peace & plants always!
Interesting I put this on before falling asleep and loved lusive dreaming with it. Many character appeared while we were dialoguing. I enjoyed catching myself particpating in the conversation. I have had many years of recovery from childhood drama.. been in AA since my 30's and approaching 80. In AA in early sharing I would be afraid the police would show up from the secrets I was walking around with. In fact the reason I went to AA, was my friend kept saying she would get parking spaces calling on HP. I though HP (Higher Power) was the Honolulu Police. The group told me I could chose my HP and it was a leaf on a tree. Dr. Paul Conti must have created a extreme space of safety for me. I normally don't lusive dream. It was fantastic.. new friends. Thanks
The story you shared about your mother Rich is really powerful and speaks volumes. I can relate to it so much myself and I don’t know any family who wouldn’t have a similar story if they just decided to explore. It explains so much. Thank you for sharing ❤️