This episode is very interesting. Enjoy! Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:21 Why People Enjoy “Facial Deposits” 09:44 What is the Psychology Behind Rough Sex? 15:57 Why So Many Niches of Porn Exist 29:02 Is there an Agenda Towards Feminine Men? 35:55 Women’s Obsession with True Crime 46:52 Is Evolutionary Psychology Sexist? 53:23 How Having Babies Impacts Sex Drive 1:02:33 Where to Find Catherine
Hi @Chris Williamson , I actually felt embarrassed for your guest's comments and lack of anthropological/psychological studies and researches... to me, she came across more motivated by the "doing", in lieu of the actual core "understanding". 😔
Love it. There is no escaping our animalistic nature. We can talk publicly about toxic masculinity, male dominated society, etc, etc, but no "romance" novel features an insecure small man as the man of interest.
I'm off on a grape and pillage. Fancy it? If we get hungry we'll eat whatever we can scalp. Please bring some hand sanitiser and facial cream as it's going to be a long journey
Chris, I'm working my way through your back catalog of what might loosely be described as "Interviews with captivating intelligent women who are more interested in truth than any particular agenda". It's soooo refreshing and educational. Thankyou, it is appreciated.
Same situation and can’t agree more, a super refreshing and reasonable show where the real questions are being asked instead of a bunch of propaganda from red pill and blue pill stuff. Like I just want some real conversations with people who actually understand what they are talking about.
I believe that one big reason women prefer to read is because it's easier to visualize herself as the woman in the story. When they are watching it's much harder to take out the character you see and replace it with yourself.
@@hephestosthalays2700 Nuland Hillary McCain podesta deeply involved start ukraine crisis strike first blood but use woman that put severed finger in wendy chili 2.0 tactic shameless blame russia, recall podesta on putin files when muller charge manafort for things nothing to do with russia hack but let podesta go for same reason =blackmail dc/Britain(thank Blair Iraq france stolen libya gold) to support blame russia to cover up fact 2 party system failed since mccain-hillary all did united fruit company scandal 2.0 but remain rich recall fbi never look at physical evidence just crowdstrike/hillary words, cia break glass 2017 inauguration with media claim russia stolen election left wing media give protest t-shirts to san quan mayor for lying about never receive maria supplies ua-cam.com/video/qYmCtYLE9k0/v-deo.html george bush 14y ago said add ukraine to nato foreshadow nuland f eu coup 2014 support = 1. ua-cam.com/video/nTQ3D1a-j20/v-deo.html 2001 pentagon memo kill occupy iraq to syria ua-cam.com/video/_mrJRHwbVG8/v-deo.html current ukraine gov is proxy since obama drew red line just like did in syria earlier arming rebels telling russia not to interfere while zelensky ethnic cleanse donbass region 7y= 2. ua-cam.com/video/ta9dWRcDUPA/v-deo.html 3. ua-cam.com/video/IBeRB7rWk_8/v-deo.html
I think it's also that we don't just see the actions we know the feelings and thoughts of at least one character. I don't think many women choose actual erotic novels as opposed to novels with erotic segments. For myself as a young woman I loved historical romance. The wonderful feminine clothes, castles being besieged, horses being spooked etc. And women being vulnerable women. And rescued by brave men who adored them. I do know why women like crime stories. In the Victorian era sex was suppressed. The cheap trashy novels directed at women were "Penny Horrors" about murders. In the more permisive twentieth century they became "Penny Dreadfuls" where sex became the new murder. It's only in recent times that women saw sex with a man who was not their chosen love, as not being almost as horrific as murder. However in both situations it allows women the excitement of danger, without real danger.
It's because woman have successfully projected the whole visualization aspect of sexuality onto men. In read porn he can be exactly what you like, ie literally unrealistic, because it's your imagination.
As a woman, I’m going to admit that women have and will always be attracted to the conventionally masculine man. The praise for Harry Styles and effeminate men is quite frankly BS and women lying to themselves because they wish it were true as it’d fit the world-view they’re comfortable with instead of reality.
I don’t think women are lying to themselves. Harry Styles is undoubtedly still good looking. Often the more masculine a man is, the less conventionally handsome he is - The Rock being a good example of this.
@@Alex-cm7hr v true, but I doubt women want men to wear dresses from now on. It could be that Harry styles wearing a dress showcased an extreme level of confidence and security in his masculinity that appealed to women.. just food for thought
@@tjc4085 yeah I wasn’t really aware of that stuff. He does seem to have some gender-fluid nonsense going on right now. Men wearing dresses definitely isn’t attractive. Dresses were designed for the female form and look wrong on men.
The more degenerate, the more women love it, introduce children and animals and she will be OOOOOO and soaking her chair, tells you everything you need to know about what women are. Morals ??? Looking for a yellow Ruby in in the Himalayas is more likely.
Do women even exist in hard sciences, every single one that he brings on always always always SELF REPORTED SURVEY, pain to me might be 3 same level of pain to a woman might be a 7 who is right who is wrong, doesnt matter, the data is basura, basura in basura out ! So the statistical regression analyses is useless, no objective measure means that at best its likely but unsure. They have ruined statistics permanently, its not trust-able, when statistically significant was mentioned 70 years ago, it meant something, today its a maybe at best.
Also that when women read something they imagine it happening it to themselves. I've studied romance for a loooooonnnggg loooongggg time probably 13+ years now... A classic trick that most romance novel writers use is that they make the woman in the novel relatable to the extent of substitution. Meaning - once the reader relates to the woman in the novel, she substitutes herself into that role. This is extremely powerful because then she reads the book as if everything is happening to her, imagining herself in the situation. Also the reason why most women fantasize about having a beast like man fall for them is their (women's) hero's journey. "I was able to tame this beast" type of arc.... BUT they hate it if the beast is not tamed in the end. And that actually is the nature of a true beast... it cannot be tamed.
@@eaudedogue safe to say that you haven't experienced a woman's submission then? Its more powerful than any other drugs that exists. I have been more than 335+ dates... stopped counting after that, and I chose to be with my partner we are together for more than 6 years now... The reason I stated the number is because I wanted you to guess how many of them were actually submissive? Take a guess...
In contrast with Scowls, Disapproval, Bile, Bitterness, Suspicion, Complaining Misandry and Resentment? Ooh, ooh I forgot Entitlement and Petulance and Immaturity and Lack of Accountability and Spite.
It is my suspicion that for many women the appeal of mock "rough sex" is that feeling that they are rendered powerless and not culpable for what is happening. As such they can engage in their more extreme or bizarre sexual desires while maintaining, at a psychological level, an element of plausible deniability for initiating or endorsing those desires.
@@cosmicmuffet1053 that's on you not her, listen don't look if you must. Don't start saying something like that with "ma'am" , the insincerity is oozing. I'm not saying don't look, that would be dumb, I'm simply SUGGESTING that you keep your sexual arousal confined to your personal space.
Wow - I’m so glad she mentioned fan-fiction. It’s so common for women and rarely spoken about. I believe fanfic websites are womens pornhub. Very interesting.
Chris, watching the two of you skip joyfully and tastefully through the first segment cheered me up so much this evening. Also, your description of the desecration of the sacred porcelain of a woman's face is poetry in my opinion. Men's sexuality is too often misunderstood and we need prose like this to set the record straight.
I too found this allegory fascinating. I think the cumshot can have a lot of emotional qualities, for those involved or watching. Like a powerful reminder of the power exchange and sub/dom position. Depending on the reaction, pose, viewing angle and result, everything from just confirmation of the couple's bonding to a deeply felt sado-masochism type of situation, erotic degradation-style. So it's open to interpretations. I also like the mention of the Coolidge effect, which probably has deep genetic roots into human/male behaviour (as shown through the incessant variety in porn and variety in people's beds as well).
Never heard such a beautiful way to phrase the act of : *Furiously ejaculating a high pressured stream of sticky opaque and bitter fluid on a woman's face*
Very interesting topic. Curious how many other people feel this way but, Tbh, the more attractive I find my partner, the less novel I want the sex to be. I find that the most boring sex is the best with the partner I desire the most because the simple contact alone is more than stimulating enough. And I wouldn’t even want any additional distraction. When the partner is maybe not as inherently stimulating is when I find myself wanting to do the more novel stuff.
Could never give THIS (what you said) context… but you nailed it Much more desirable IMO to “hate-fuck” a one-off/purely transactional partner vs your “lover”, which tends to be more sensual. Complete difference in feeling.
Interesting point. As a guy I can somewhat relate though I never thought about it like that. On the other hand, it seems to me it's the opposite for women (more adventurous the more into the guy they are). So... In general it's probably a counterproductive tendency and one we should actively avoid.
You’re not wrong as a woman I feel the same. I mean it is thrilling to be with someone you actually desire and when they’re likable and you click? OOF. The body is so ecstatic that it heats up to the sound of their voice. I find that’s the best sex to have. Then the novel stuff feels extra kinky because the desire is so intense.
@@atulkrjha has the genetics, perfect level of masculine bad boy appeal, combined with the solid ability to protect, provide, parentally invest, and have the values and such. It’s like a Tesla car owner asking for gasoline. Most people are looking at that persons demands like “tf?” But every once in a while, against all odds, life gives them gasoline
The first segment was the wildest, most egregious piece of information I’ve ever heard. Yet I sat thru it. I am now ashamed of myself, yet weirdly more informed 😂.
I'm an old dude out of the game, my experience is that I got pass the first filtering when I had no expectations when meeting woman I just talked to them. I found my wife when my flatmate was hitting on her friend in a bar she looked bored I though she would like somebody to talk to my flatmate when home empty handed my wife didn't. So I tell my sons, meet people and have fun without expectations, your girl friend will find you when she's ready.
Yup, I just got there aged 51. Wish I'd made it a lot sooner, now I just mingle with people, yes, of course I still find a need arising to be with a certain woman but I allow that desire to pass and then get back to just hanging out. I'm content and happy even when women don't find me of interest, there are plenty more of them!
"Women who are submissive are still running the show!" - Catherine Salmon. Absolutely nailed it! That is exactly the case. There is nothing a man won't do for a submissive woman. Aka, the control is still with the women. Most people usually think if the woman is submissive she's being controlled by the man. That is false, a real woman knows her power over a man, and that is what controls a man. Only a submissive and powerful woman can keep the beast tamed for herself... Again, it is the nature of the beast to not be controlled, but for a submissive woman a beast will relinquish that control... To the point that even if he knows he's being controlled he'll do it. Not always though, like every think in the world, it is not absolute. "For a beast is not a beast if he seizes to be the beast." - me Those who understand what I mean will understand what I mean... haha.
Then she's not submissive, she's manipulative and disingenuous. Some women just don't want to play that silly little game. They recognise that their time here is limited, and they're not prepared to waste it trying to manipulate men. If they can't find a man who can handle a partnership of parity with them, then they're quite alright with being single.
Women don't just scream at Justin Bieber concerts. You can be sitting at a Cheesecake Factory at 6 pm on a Friday and if there is a group of young women at a table, every few minutes they will scream in unison....and if they see a friend enter the restaurant, they will scream at each other. I often use this to dispute the myth that women life in fear....people who live in fear do not behave in ways that attract maximum attention to themselves.
'softer, gently, kinder view of guys...' not only in novels that idea didn't work. my entire generation was demasculated by feminist influences and it made no one happy. the men or the women.
Was emasculated? Men are still being emasculated. Testosterone levels are at record lows. “Toxic masculinity” has young boys being prevented from engaging in rough and tumble play. Men and women need one another. Men need to be men and women need to be women. We don’t need to water one or the other down to suit a cultural agenda.
Interesting discussion. It's very apparent to anyone who actually studies evolutionary psychology and understand male to female social dynamics, that men and women are very different in what they find attractive (a lot of times are asymmetrical, eg. men like looks in a women, women like personality/status in a guy). This knowledge needs to be more mainstream, instead of feminism taking over and brainwashing people into thinking men and women are equal/same, because in reality they are not.
@@lordofgingers yeah lmaooooo bro the only difference I can see between men and women is women care sbout every single standard to a higher degree than men do. Women even care about looks more than men but they also care about money, personality etc more than men. It's not that women care less about looks, quite the contrary it's just that they value multiple things. It's maybe when they're very old and unattractive where they may begin to loosen looks standards and focus on the other categories a bit more.
@@brianmeen2158 yea people don’t want to listen to things that make them uncomfortable. It’s human nature. But if one is able to sit comfortably in discomfort, so to speak, then there is a feeling of elation that accompanies that acceptance
I found this conversation super interesting... I am interested in the recent fascination about Harry Styles wearing a dress and make-up - it's not new... Bowie was doing that in the 70's and had women flocking at his feet, and Prince was repeatedly counted as the sexiest man in the planet. Both of them very feminine in their looks.
Robert Greene in his book, The Art of Seduction, states, those who gently cross over the border of feminity / masculinity, they will attract a lot. Timothee Chamalet, a very effeminate looking man is enjoying this success. Marilyn Monroe had a slightly deep voice for a woman. I think it's about, they're more attainable? More relatable? More at ease, I think.
@@brianmeen2158 I used to find Price quite beautiful in a feminine way, but never saw him as sexually attractive. I used to like some of the heavy metal guys though, the more strong looking bulky men with long hair lol
@@sirdiealot53It was said by Al Bundy. and as for the quote, its true (in part) because women are all about double standards, they want one thing, but want the other thing too.. not just bad boy sexually, but nice guy for family, everything. And the 2nd part of the quote, They DO NOT understand each other, (they will however surround themselves with like minded cliques, to support their own style/thinking ; see echo chambers). Its not that they hate each other, they see all other women as competition. so he was right about trying to understand them, because you need a PHD to see it all, and sort of close to how they treat each other.
The conversation around Harry Styles and feminine men is interesting. I'm typically attracted to very masculine men (military/mma types) but I don't actually see him as being super feminine, despite the dress ... not the way our culture would traditionally say a gay man is feminine. I feel his appeal is his uniqueness and the balls to go for it and pull it off. The same way it was popular back in the 90s for the alternative crowd to get multiple earrings or paint their nails - but they were different, the bad boys and we still wanted them lol. This isn't new, you've got Johhny Depp, Prince, Mick Jagger and the like who were not only doing traditionally feminine things like wearing make up, but were known for their prowess with women.
Men are most attracted to a beautiful feminine woman who thinks like a man. Cher or J Lo being a good example. Women are most attracted to a handsome masculine man who thinks like a woman. Mickey Rourke or Depp being a great example.
In regards to erotica, most women that still read it (the physical books) are older and likely more traditional in a sense, so of course they want the more traditional looking man. Whereas the erotica that younger generations read is not in books but on apps like Wattpad, Tumblr, Webtoons, etc. When cruising through those apps, you see that the “feminine men” have a huge appeal too, hence why K-pop is so popular among younger women. There are tons of k pop (bts in particular) and harry styles and Loki type fanfiction and erotica. It’s a generational thing, not many ppl read books nowadays too, at least physical ones. Loved the video! 🥰
The fem/K-Pop male look usually appeals to younger adolescent women. Adolescent women who have ambiguity & at times fear of traditional masculine maleness as presented in the media. Most grow out of it & have a preference for more traditional masculine men. If an older woman is deep into fem looking men its likely she has negative feelings/ideas about men especially masculine men. Its usually due to some bad or traumatic experiences.
@@riririri100 Actually Rosie has it exactly right. Young, immature women women often prefer feminine men because they're intimidated by masculine men. But most women grow out of that fear. And no, feminine men are not masculine, by definition. I gotta say, it's funny how each new generation thinks that they're the ones who invented sex. Or at least the first ones to be transgressive.
@@rosiegomez5809 If I'm remembering correctly, there was a woman who did a Ted talk on how the birth control pill affected the brain, and one interesting finding was that women on the pill were more attracted to feminine men.
I was 13 when The Beatles arrived to America. I have three sisters. I was amazed at the zombie-like hypnotic state girls would go into. It really cautioned me about females. They screamed for The Beatles, then The Rolling Stone, The Dave Clark Five, and on and on. I felt that they were capable of betrayal and that they were more interested in the image than the person. I didn't know that I was witnessing the Alpha Male reaction in females.
Chris, great podcast as always. Appreciate your work and hope you continue doing the great job you're currently doing. You and your podcast have truly had a life changing effect on me, thank you. Why do you reckon people are so negative about this podcast and the educated woman you spoke to? What's up with the whole "don't ask women for advice about women"?
As soon as you start talking about evpsych or gender dynamics as a guy, you get lumped into the redpill manosphere. Some of the redpill world allow and encourage their audience to behave like brats. I’m not part of that world, and I don’t want that audience.
@@ChrisWillx I love that stance, chris. I’ve been feeling disgusted at what the redpill movement has become. Some are trying hard to justify treating women as objects instead of equal counterparts and disguising it as the “realistic” way of viewing the world.
@@Vladimyrful I think people in general give pretty bad advice. But I understand what you mean because I’d agree that more women act like they have good dating advice 😂. Perhaps experience and age are better categories to judge on.
@@JosephBacons Oh yeah, fully agreed! Because people usually don't have the best grasp of the problem they're trying to solve. (I'm generalizing but you get what I mean).
A significant number of people not being able to understand that men and women are "equal in value" does not mean men and women "are the same" is troubling.
Men and women are not equal in value. Male disposability reflects this. Men are left to die but the women and kids get to leave when wars and crises break out That is not equal. But evolutionarily speaking, it makes sense why it’s like that.
The time stamp, 'Why People Enjoy "Facial Deposits" ' is absolutely hilarious! I think I just deposited something in my pants as I laughed soo hard at this. Thank you for that, Chris 😅
I mean that's correct. A 18-20 year old woman will date a broke guy who's tall , has a prominent, sharp square jaw, prominent cheekbones, hunter eyes over a recessed chin rich guy. That' s when we talk about actual physical attraction, not betabuxxing
They don't, especially past the point of some comfort. Yeah, few women are gonna be hyped on a guy making $20k/yr with no prospects but once you've hit semi-comfortable-life income, it's not that big a deal for most.
You can be broke when a woman is in her 304 phase When she’s washed up she’s gonna turn into the typical most exceptional special woman in the world and deserve a high value man As a man it’s your job to read where that woman stands and not invest time in a relationship when you can level up and get better quality down the line. Women decrease value in the sexual marketplace with high tier men over time Men increase their value over time. Once a man hits his peak the options are endless Women will always have endless options because men will always seek that pump and dump
I'm 71 years old and am 5'6" I dated a lot of tall women. Many taller women liked me. There were those that felt I was too short, but there were plenty of good-looking women that dated me. This was so much of a thing during my long bachelorhood that I really felt like a five-foot-tall woman was too much like a child. Most of the time, they were an inch or two taller than me, which is what I really prefer. The funniest episode I experienced was a tall blonde woman, I mean 6'5" who really liked me. Her hair was as long as I was tall. She wrote me a couple of amazingly juicy letters. When we dated, we went to a sushi shop, and then she had me for dessert! But for me, she was just too much territory to deal with! I kinda feel bad about it looking back because she seemed to really have a thing for me.
I'm south Indian, but grew up outside of India for the most part. So my take on it may not be fully informed, but I am familiar enough that I feel comfortable speculating. India has a very socially conservative culture. Granted it's modernizing rapidly, but there are still large swaths of society where taboos still exist on women dressing in a scandalous/revealing manner, often reinforced by society and close family/relatives. So perhaps the most likeliest scenario/ "natural" manner in which someone might come across a woman's body being revealed may be in the context of breastfeeding? I wonder if that's why it's such a popular category, because it has proximity to something that could possibly happen in reality, at least more than the other extravagant imagined scenarios that porn seems to typically put forward.
Breastfeeding is actually quite popular in India and has been shown in movies and tv shows and is a relatively common occurrence in buses and trains. This doesn’t happen in other countries as much. I remember having being ‘sprayed’ with milk directly from her breast when I was curious about a bai breastfeeding her kid (as a funny thing of course) lol.
It could be that there is a higher rate of breastfeeding in india so the imprint takes place and thus adult male attraction. In the US many are not breastfeed and after a few weeks of maternity leave babies are sent to a corporate / govt facility for child care. Over all, male attachment to mother and female is broken at critical developmental phases so in adult life there is less attraction to breast and female in general so relationships are more transactional as males are unable to bond with females in the same way if they were mothered when young.
About "facial deposits." I'm almost positive I know why this is so commonly liked by men. It is perceived by society as being degrading, however if someone you're with likes you enough to not only let you do it but also act like they enjoy it it makes you feel more valuable. "Wow, this person likes me so much they're willing to let me do this thing that society considers perverse." However in reality it is a common act that shows love and devotion and has been mislabeled. The funny thing is that it being mislabeled is what gives it its significance. I wonder if YT will let me post this. lol
I’ve never understood exactly what is supposed to be so degrading or demeaning about it. To me it’s more like a man marking his territory, and while I can’t speak for all women, I think many of us find a primal excitement in that concept.
@@central_scrutinizrits that very 'marking of territory' that is antithetical to the modern feminist ideal, and therefore seen as taboo, i think. And who doesnt love a bit of taboo? Haha
I read that serum testasterone ia higher in US women and their voice is slightly deeper. In stressful environments females are highly adaptive and become more masculine. The female body is capable of shutting down mentruation entirely and putting on muscle. So if females live in a culture that puts more stress on them they do in fact become masculine. I would like to see stats on irregular menstruation but I surmise it is likely these rates are higher in the US as well.
BTW I have tried posting male test and sperm count data which has declined precipitously over the last 40 years but the comments are censored. Perhaps this will be posted.
I would caution against drawing conclusions towards what women want from romance novels. While it’s true that about 80% of romance readers are women, romance is only a relatively small fraction of fiction, which again is just a fraction of books overall. Then one has to take into account that about 40% of the population don’t read at all.
And believing fiction will guide you to your love life is a bit immature. Some people may have a hard time separating the two (like "Don Jon" of the movie of the same name), but not the majority. Methink.
In my experience with women that I've spoken to after the fact, their like for rough sex is not about the "wow he wants me so bad", it's more about her being able to surrender and let go entirely, almost like letting go of the self or complete escapism for a while
As a woman my first 15ish years of sex was unsatisfying. I enjoyed it but I rarely got "there." I was hung up on "his" pleasure and of if he would "put a label" on me in his head. Then in my early 30s I met my now husband and my not being able have orgasms really bothered HIM! He felt he wasn't "good enough" to please me...and he was "man" enough to tell me so. I assured him it was not him but it didn't help. After a few more weeks he had enough. He told me my sexual pleasure was not supposed to be about him, that it supposed to be about myself. And that my being able to "let go" and enjoy myself would in turn increase the pleasure he got from being with me. Which in turn would increase my pleasure even more etc etc. He was so right! We've been together 21 years now, married 15...and we're still enjoying it together!
@@1twistedcpl6575 That's great to hear - at the end of the day sexual compatibility is not just about 'selfless vs. selfish', it's usually more about how each person 'gets off' that then can come off as selfless/selfish In terms of your husband, he sounds similar to me in that he probably gets off on watching the girls pleasure more than anything else, so it's a core feature of how he then acts
By my mid twenties, I figured out to watch what women actually do vs. listen to what they say. Many things I was taught about women growing up were flat out wrong. The problem is that many women are happy drinking the popular culture Kool-Aid until they hit their early 30s.
We modern people are so far detached from our primal instincts that some of these things are alien to us..... Just think how profound this is. How great we've changed as a species in such little time.... Scary stuff..
La imaginación, esa es la respuesta a tu pregunta entre la diferencia de ver una película y leer. La fantasía es personal, no es lo que se imaginó un guionista de una película de bajo presupuesto. Muy bueno el video!
The issue when it comes to wanting normal guys vs dominant guys is women cannot detach reality frrom their fantasies.... Men obviously want porn stars..with amazing bodies...but we can more easily dispose of these ideals and preferences in the real world. Sure women should have standards as should men...but its important to be realistic...
I would argue we have no choice. Most women don’t want most men. But most men want most women. That gap in desire in my opinion plays a major role in this difference you are highlighting
Tom Brady. 6'-4" tall, multi-multi millionaire, 7-time (quarterback) superbowl champ 😂, in good shape, good looking dude, speaks 5 languages, great family guy. Wife dumps him. 🤣🤣 They are insatiable, its evolution. You cannot win, just roll with it!
@@Zebielie Fathers have authority over their children. Men today do not have authority over their wives. You miss this fact. Children do not have freedom to do what they want because parents are responsible. Women are given freedom with lack of responsibility and men are responsible and on the hook. So it’s no longer the same.
I remember I was a pretty short as 13 year old. I used to act kind and very friendly. Woman in school used to ignore me and guys used to bully me. I had no friends. Over the years developed a emotionless dark personality who didn't give a fck about anyone. I also became the second tallest guy in the class. And suddenly women began to chase me. They even started to write 50 shades of grey tier fanfictions about me. No matter what society say most girls always like a dominating masculine man not some caring emotional guy.
I seem to have snatched myself a partner that is both masculine and sensitive at the same time. He's Austrian, I'm German, we got to know each other via online gaming. I moved to live with him, three years ago, after having been in a LDR for five plus years. Engaged now and going to be married in summer next year. He is masculine in the traditional sense of being very sporty, well-built, working out a lot, being a hunter and collector of guns (which is very uncommon here, compared to the U.S) and goes shooting a lot. He is also a very good cook and takes care of our home more than me, because I work full time and he is working part-time. He is as much into cuddling as I am. So. Jackpot? (also considered very handsome by many people) Here is the thing, though: he is 3 years younger than me. I had my reservations at first, because I was 25 and he was 22 when we met, but he was taking evening courses to get is college degree and also doing an apprenticeship as a laboratory assistant, so that seemed pretty responsible and mature to me. He also doesn't drink. Only a very occasional beer, like once every two to three months. Oh, and he is 5,8'. I am 5,2' myself, though. It seems to me like the mating crisis is way more prevalent in the U.S. in Europe, or at least Germany and Austria don't seem to be this affected (yet). I feel like the demands from potential partners and beauty standards are much more severe than here. I have no data to back this up, but from what I see and know, it seems to be true.
European maternity/paternity policies in the workforce suggest a more pro-family stance, relative to the US as well. Perhaps this translates to pro-dating, pro-marriage as well?
One theory I read many years ago which I found plausible and interesting regarding fetlsh as a biological mating diversification strategy. Two people that share matching fetlsh will be so strong of a match to overcome traditional mate selection cue, and enrich the genetic variety or humanity
This type of discourse is great. I only hope everyone who watches also realises that for all the women that every discussion point does apply to, there will be tens-of-thousands to billions of women who it does not apply to, and if you assume that a generalization of evolutionary/sexual psychology applies to all women (or men), through your resulting approaches and assumptions in life and love, you might accidentally close yourself off to the women of the world that these generalizations don't apply to. The most general feature of evolutionary/sexual psychology is that it produces variation (in what women and men are attracted to). The best thing you can do is learn how to read people well, learn what they like, and adapt to what their unique psychology is. Some women don't like to be degraded, and genuinely do like nice and gentle men, just like there are men out there who prefer to be submissive. If you meet a woman like that who you like and want to be with, just be willing to potentially accept that she is built that way for real, and not be stuck in assuming that she wants something else or doesnt yet know her own psychology (which is also possible), like many vids and podcasts might unintentionally lead their viewers astray in believing, putting them in a worse off place where they can only ever attract the type of women that gets caricaturized in some of these discussions (extraverted, high-feeling, hypersexual, testy, etc.)
"I've never lost a woman, by being to "mean", but I've lost many, by being to nice". 10ish years ago, while women were screaming about "grape culture" aso, I looked into things. The most sold book - 50 shades of Grey.. The most commen fantasy - domination. More than 50% of women had said "no", while hoping he would push on (so-called "shit test") and regeretted it.. Women want, what other women want, that they them selves don't know, if they can get.. Written before watching - let's see, what she tells us. Be strong guys..!!! B)
It's definitely better to be overly masculine, dominant, or assertive, than to be nicer to women if you want her to find u attractive romantically, and not view u as a friend.
@@CommandoMaster You said it right there: ‘overly’ = too much. Why not just be yourself and find a woman who wants you as you are, rather than putting on a facade.
I was a pretty submissive and hopelessly romantic guy as a 13 year old kid. Now as 19 year old I am pretty dominant and don't believe in stupid romance. It'd be impossible for me to even act submissive even the said girl is my true love. The problem is society gaslights boys to be femenized boys instead of being a man.
What about well-rounded masculinity? Like when you can lift, write, make art, be emotionally available, hunt, build, and even fight to defend your woman? The effeminate nerd and the meathead are not your only options here
38:40 women nowadays think that they live in a benign neighbourhood, because of the media pushing Harry Styles media persona. The reality difference /understanding, between male and female in 2024 , is off the charts . Until the so called benign environment around them suddenly becomes hostile / life threatening ( street and day to day ) social media fb etc. . great job again either way with this video my friend. Another wonderful, open and intelligent guest you chose. Hats off to you and your team. And also to the wonderful and intelligent , yet super feminine Katherine . 👏🏴
Nope, a charismatic Chad with dedicated dad-like abilities. In romance novels, the guy starts off as total non-dad material like Christian Grey and usually does not want or feel like he can become a husband/dad. Only after he falls in love with the girl does he become perfect husband/dad material.
On the "agenda towards feminine men", I think the force behind this has to do with the proliferation of pop culture into older demographics, people taking with them the spirit of youth of the cultural environment they grew up in, leading to both the phenomenons of later spiritual development in men and women's preference for more androgynous feminine men as typical of younger girls. It's less so an "agenda" but a significant shift in the underlying sociological basis of society to remain as primarily consumers for longer before becoming a significant producer or provider, which is a strong critical feature of adulthood.
Sex has always been a physical act, and passion and romance allows the man to physically express his love, and sometimes that can be more aggressive but it's not associated with violence. Having sex and or making love and allowing the man to physically take control, assuming he knows what hes doing is the highest form of connection between a man and a women, and it also means bodies are in motion and there will be some sort of physicality or even roughness, but done correctly, it represents the love a man has for that women and ultimately expressing that with masculine energy, whoever said good sex had to be soft and light like in some soppy romance novel, when real passion is expressed it can come out as strong, bold and powerful, but never violent as that would entail anger or loss of control, the complete opposite of when a man is showing love to a women. People have confused rough sex for good sex, people think that good sex has to be rough but that's because in those situations there is no actual passion and love involved, its just transactional. If a man is truly expressing his physical love for a women and she knows how to properly recieve and allow that man in, it will be strong and passionate, not rough, rough sex is for two adults who have no feeling or connection, just smashing it out.
I believe lust drives the physicality and love tempers it to some degree. A combination of lust and love makes for good sex in my experience. On the whole I agree with your comment .lol
Bro I'm a manlet (5'5), and I would be the LAST person to recommend and pressure women to read an article that states "you should like shorter guys". 😂 40:00 Also, just to encourage other short dudes: develop charisma and style, and you'll be good. And start talking to chicks. ad1: And yes, people CAN be cruel. Attractive girls CAN be cruel. Rejections are unavoidable. Be grateful you are alive, focus on your own shit, and you'll find those who worth your time.
I’m 5’11 but I have short friends who struggle in social settings, and more specifically with women because of their height. There’s no sugarcoating it, dating and attracting women is definitely harder for short men, and it’s great that you’ve already acknowledged that. I respect that you’re not just complaining about it and instead you’re developing yourself to improve your odds despite of that cruel reality. 🫡🤝🏼
Every time I watch my favorite podcaster Chris,I am more & more grateful I have the hubby I married. No offense but,the time he came on my chest & said MINE! I was his forever🤣
Love your facial expression and the brief moment to collect yourself after you say, "Are you dating someone that's six inches shorter than you?" - I feel like I can see your inner Chris going, "really man, six inches? ... for fucks sake.. alright, we said it, we're committed now, push on" - probably all in my head, but it made me chuckle. :)
I definitely think there is a chasm between what we sexually fantasize about, and what we actually want. Things that men watch in porn they would never want in an ideal romantic partner. Sexual attraction is NOT equally correlated with romantic connection. It’s also not a good idea to take the subset of the population that reads romantic novels and use it be representative of the entire population.
I love rough sex with my husband because he is a kind and gentle man. I know he won’t go too far, but I love watching him come close. I trust him. If I was with someone I don’t completely trust, I would not want rough sex.
In a Western World that claims to celebrate diversity and difference the claim that males and females are the same is bizarre. You can’t easily encapsulate what a woman is or what a man is but they are different; even if they are more similar than they are different.
Screaming is an expression of unabated excitement. When emotions have reached a fever pitch and you feel you cannot contain it any more, particularly girls express that emotion and release that pent up energy with screaming. More importantly, it is a way to generate excitement as well. If someone wants to accentuate their emotional high, they can do so with extreme vocalization. For men, this might be chanting at a football game. Interestingly, hearing someone else vocalizing their elation can also generate excitement in the listener. This is particularly true in socially acceptable situations, like a rock concert or a football game. When everyone is screaming around you, it simultaneously expresses your emotions and feeds them.
The one thing missing in this discussion is recognition that what we fantasise about is not actually what we want. Sexual fantasy is not exclusively related to we want in RL. Not because of social proprietary only but also about the fantasy having a symbolic and mediatory function.
Whatever they want at one minute, they will not want at some other time. There is no consistency in them, so dont look for them to offer it other than consistently inconsistent, or being truthful about what they really want if not provided to you by their attorney.
For women the end result is someone that is grown up, will not complete with the child for your attention, will assume his responsibilities. You get there by making someone (not very masculine) and somewhat dependent (on his mom), in to independent man that owns his mistakes and takes responsibility. Or you take someone masculine and independent and make him care about someone else then himself, make him dependable. Those are not easy tasks. Non is easier then the other. Some men grow up in healthy families and are situated close to the gold middle, some work on themselves, by themselves, by aspirating to be better, others meet a woman that pushes them to get to the middle.
@Chris Williamson At 30:00 You say women are now applauding men who are more submissive, agreeable and feminine, then point to Harry Styles as an example. Harry Styles is not submissive or agreeable. He may dress in a feminine way and sing, dance and write music, but honest self expression has always been attractive. Honest self expression is risky and polarising, it’s the opposite of submissive and agreeable. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to put yourself out there. But it’s always been attractive. Elvis dancing and singing in 1950 was ‘feminine’, risky and polarising. Same as artists today.
@@TJ-vl1ff What age? She's still young and attractive, and her "assets" are in fine shape. But it's highly inappropriate. It detracts from her argument.
This was a hilariously entertaining talk given the intellectual nature of the topic. I think that despite the large amount of research people like Catherine have done regarding female sexuality, they're still coming at it from a sense of societal propriety, such as stating that women are drawn to men who are willing to be rough with them and essentially rationalizing why that would be. Truth of the matter is we are essentially intelligent hairless apes and 95% of our evolutionary time frame for our instincts happened in prehistory where murder, rape and constant threats of violence were the norm. Conquering nations and enslaving their women to force the next generation as a expedited rate. Rape happens to be one of women's top sexual fantasies and when you look into the sexual research regarding the darker aspects of our sexuality, you'll come to find that female rape victims actually have orgasms nearly twice as often as consensual heterosexual pairings. It's one of the most twisted facts about human sexual functions but given how female orgasms and oxytocin production functions for pair bonding, then you realize it's function for bonding with the new tribe/army that has captured yours. Women who refused to coalesce over time to their new rulers wouldn't last very long and neither would their children.
Heinous stuff. ...So let's ignore it! An Age o Reason in our time... ...... You posted the proximal; let's explore the distal... ..... Human females like rough, or overwhelming, sex because mammals are tournament "sex selection" [incomplete term brought to you by the girl-dad "mutton-chops" [tm] near you, that the masses interpret as 'freewill,' with help from their friendly neighborhood social engineer] -- only the roughest males win the fights vs other males and therefore only the roughest are available for ...the-hermaphrodite-regulatory-feature-expressed-as-"female"-that-generation... reproduction. Females in general like the male orgasm because, again that is the way the "female" (stunted/attacked hermaphrodite) breeds. Further upper mammals are "obligate dimorphic" (as are upper birds and insects and some fish):" Even if the female is not encountered, interdicted, "entangled," in this way, she will /can NOT mature into a male [eggs disaggregate into sperm factories as hermaphro matures] nor breed. ... Recent porn has allowed the female human to key into that aspect of her libido -- "yeah that's it -- goal" /sex hormone /swoon inducing. But the world is juvenile and insane now -- because of duhmerica -- so you may thus ignore me accordingly ..."We is all up and choosing to `adapt to be equal" -- "I love the sciencing".
@@evanobrien8662 All of mammal nature. If the credentialed classes don't agree, they are out of order. "Why" should be concerning to the intellectually honest.
I personally am a vanilla doujin enjoyer. I don't want the seggs to be the focus. I want to hear a storyline and get engaged emotionally so that it feels like relationship seggs. A couple alternating feom absolutely infatuated with each other and slowly turning into their idealized selves and being in a relaxed companionate love is a treat to read and see. Seeing the gal touch her BF's face and say "sorry I wasn't listening, you're face is just so..." sends tingles down my spine and floods me with memories of past relationships. I wonder if there's even an evolutionary psych explanation for my womanly sexual fantasies.
Yes there is. Its very simple and adaptive. You want what you want when you want it without having to explain or apologize or suffer consequences. The ultimate goal is to do what you want and not have to do anything you dont want to. Should we discuss my fee?
I always assumed that rough sex in whatever way asked for by women is a "show me what you got" kind of thing. Humans have become so refined and law abiding (for the most part) and treat women gently etc. I always felt that sometimes they tapped into that primitive brain and wanted to experience that kind of ownership and dominance we could have over them just for that moment.
Oh you gonna get into trouble with that thinking, whole lotta trouble! I ain't putting you down, I'm an old man and women aren't interested in me so as I'm safe now. Just there were times once when I'd do a woman's bidding.
It always starts out that way. Then, it eventually takes shape and before you know it we'll have concrete textbooks that concisely summarize it all. Just takes time to get there.
This episode is very interesting. Enjoy! Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:21 Why People Enjoy “Facial Deposits”
09:44 What is the Psychology Behind Rough Sex?
15:57 Why So Many Niches of Porn Exist
29:02 Is there an Agenda Towards Feminine Men?
35:55 Women’s Obsession with True Crime
46:52 Is Evolutionary Psychology Sexist?
53:23 How Having Babies Impacts Sex Drive
1:02:33 Where to Find Catherine
Hi @Chris Williamson , I actually felt embarrassed for your guest's comments and lack of anthropological/psychological studies and researches... to me, she came across more motivated by the "doing", in lieu of the actual core "understanding". 😔
Stay encouraged Chris you're doing a great job
@@leolee8847 No One Cares!!!
What was that study mentioned by Cathrine on mate preference and living area? thank you
Are we suppose to think the angled chair is unconscious !
Love it. There is no escaping our animalistic nature. We can talk publicly about toxic masculinity, male dominated society, etc, etc, but no "romance" novel features an insecure small man as the man of interest.
I'm off on a grape and pillage. Fancy it? If we get hungry we'll eat whatever we can scalp. Please bring some hand sanitiser and facial cream as it's going to be a long journey
True but how would you explain the enormous succes of movies like Notting Hill?
Love that movie, and sweet men.
@@thijsg8549 She explains it in the first few minutes.
@@thijsg8549 you chose an outlier as an example. Outliers are not the net medium
Chris, I'm working my way through your back catalog of what might loosely be described as "Interviews with captivating intelligent women who are more interested in truth than any particular agenda". It's soooo refreshing and educational. Thankyou, it is appreciated.
Same situation and can’t agree more, a super refreshing and reasonable show where the real questions are being asked instead of a bunch of propaganda from red pill and blue pill stuff. Like I just want some real conversations with people who actually understand what they are talking about.
I’m on the same journey as you are ! 😂
A few moments to kill is it?
I’d love to know why you think this woman doesn’t have an agenda?
I believe that one big reason women prefer to read is because it's easier to visualize herself as the woman in the story. When they are watching it's much harder to take out the character you see and replace it with yourself.
Is it like painting between the lines? She can fill the picture in a way she imagines?
@@hephestosthalays2700 Nuland Hillary McCain podesta deeply involved start ukraine crisis strike first blood but use woman that put severed finger in wendy chili 2.0 tactic shameless blame russia, recall podesta on putin files
when muller charge manafort for things nothing to do with russia hack but let podesta go for same reason =blackmail dc/Britain(thank Blair Iraq france stolen libya gold) to support blame russia to cover up fact 2 party system failed since mccain-hillary all did united fruit company scandal 2.0 but remain rich
recall fbi never look at physical evidence just crowdstrike/hillary words, cia break glass 2017 inauguration with media claim russia stolen election
left wing media give protest t-shirts to san quan mayor for lying about never receive maria supplies
ua-cam.com/video/qYmCtYLE9k0/v-deo.html
george bush 14y ago said add ukraine to nato foreshadow nuland f eu coup 2014 support =
1. ua-cam.com/video/nTQ3D1a-j20/v-deo.html
2001 pentagon memo kill occupy iraq to syria
ua-cam.com/video/_mrJRHwbVG8/v-deo.html
current ukraine gov is proxy since obama drew red line just like did in syria earlier arming rebels telling russia not to interfere while zelensky ethnic cleanse donbass region 7y=
2. ua-cam.com/video/ta9dWRcDUPA/v-deo.html
3. ua-cam.com/video/IBeRB7rWk_8/v-deo.html
I think it's also that we don't just see the actions we know the feelings and thoughts of at least one character. I don't think many women choose actual erotic novels as opposed to novels with erotic segments. For myself as a young woman I loved historical romance. The wonderful feminine clothes, castles being besieged, horses being spooked etc. And women being vulnerable women. And rescued by brave men who adored them.
I do know why women like crime stories. In the Victorian era sex was suppressed. The cheap trashy novels directed at women were "Penny Horrors" about murders. In the more permisive twentieth century they became "Penny Dreadfuls" where sex became the new murder. It's only in recent times that women saw sex with a man who was not their chosen love, as not being almost as horrific as murder. However in both situations it allows women the excitement of danger, without real danger.
Men don't have this problems. We are all William Wallace when he decapitates English head from the body.
It's because woman have successfully projected the whole visualization aspect of sexuality onto men. In read porn he can be exactly what you like, ie literally unrealistic, because it's your imagination.
As a woman, I’m going to admit that women have and will always be attracted to the conventionally masculine man. The praise for Harry Styles and effeminate men is quite frankly BS and women lying to themselves because they wish it were true as it’d fit the world-view they’re comfortable with instead of reality.
I agree.
I don’t think women are lying to themselves. Harry Styles is undoubtedly still good looking. Often the more masculine a man is, the less conventionally handsome he is - The Rock being a good example of this.
@@Alex-cm7hr v true, but I doubt women want men to wear dresses from now on. It could be that Harry styles wearing a dress showcased an extreme level of confidence and security in his masculinity that appealed to women.. just food for thought
@@tjc4085 yeah I wasn’t really aware of that stuff. He does seem to have some gender-fluid nonsense going on right now. Men wearing dresses definitely isn’t attractive. Dresses were designed for the female form and look wrong on men.
Harry in the past was always considered a bad boy, so not the best example of feminine men.
This lady just radiates joy.
No Doubt
And also a faint odour of semen
The more degenerate, the more women love it, introduce children and animals and she will be OOOOOO and soaking her chair, tells you everything you need to know about what women are. Morals ??? Looking for a yellow Ruby in in the Himalayas is more likely.
Do women even exist in hard sciences, every single one that he brings on always always always SELF REPORTED SURVEY, pain to me might be 3 same level of pain to a woman might be a 7 who is right who is wrong, doesnt matter, the data is basura, basura in basura out ! So the statistical regression analyses is useless, no objective measure means that at best its likely but unsure. They have ruined statistics permanently, its not trust-able, when statistically significant was mentioned 70 years ago, it meant something, today its a maybe at best.
Looks fun to hang around with.
Also that when women read something they imagine it happening it to themselves. I've studied romance for a loooooonnnggg loooongggg time probably 13+ years now... A classic trick that most romance novel writers use is that they make the woman in the novel relatable to the extent of substitution. Meaning - once the reader relates to the woman in the novel, she substitutes herself into that role. This is extremely powerful because then she reads the book as if everything is happening to her, imagining herself in the situation. Also the reason why most women fantasize about having a beast like man fall for them is their (women's) hero's journey. "I was able to tame this beast" type of arc.... BUT they hate it if the beast is not tamed in the end. And that actually is the nature of a true beast... it cannot be tamed.
@@joane24 Absolutely! Great point btw, I never thought of it that way. But that is true...
This is why I find myself single, I've never been tamed. Haha
@@eaudedogue safe to say that you haven't experienced a woman's submission then? Its more powerful than any other drugs that exists. I have been more than 335+ dates... stopped counting after that, and I chose to be with my partner we are together for more than 6 years now... The reason I stated the number is because I wanted you to guess how many of them were actually submissive? Take a guess...
@@Monsieur.Nobody. so you chose your partner because she submitted to you?
@@Amit-ey1uj that is one of the biggest reasons, yes. Not the only reason.
I love this womans laughter and energy
In contrast with Scowls, Disapproval, Bile, Bitterness, Suspicion, Complaining Misandry and Resentment? Ooh, ooh I forgot Entitlement and Petulance and Immaturity and Lack of Accountability and Spite.
It is my suspicion that for many women the appeal of mock "rough sex" is that feeling that they are rendered powerless and not culpable for what is happening. As such they can engage in their more extreme or bizarre sexual desires while maintaining, at a psychological level, an element of plausible deniability for initiating or endorsing those desires.
That's exactly correct . I make her do the things she's too ashamed to ask for.
Sine she has "no choice" it absolves her of responsibility
Spot on.
Talking about India's breastfeeding addiction, while looking at the evolutionary psych speaker professionally is very hard. Well done Chris lol
What does she say
Haha. I get it. Very male of you.
MAAM PLEASE TILT YOUR CAMERA UP. I CANNOT HEAR YOU.
@@cosmicmuffet1053 that's on you not her, listen don't look if you must. Don't start saying something like that with "ma'am" , the insincerity is oozing.
I'm not saying don't look, that would be dumb, I'm simply SUGGESTING that you keep your sexual arousal confined to your personal space.
@@GetUnlabeled She is putting it out there. She is inviting arousal. How can you deny it?
Wow - I’m so glad she mentioned fan-fiction. It’s so common for women and rarely spoken about. I believe fanfic websites are womens pornhub. Very interesting.
I believe women love fantasy and mystery. Part of why if you ever ask a women what kind of shows/movies they watch, it a lot of mystery type.
Most males look good in comics, most males look bad in porn.
Chris, watching the two of you skip joyfully and tastefully through the first segment cheered me up so much this evening.
Also, your description of the desecration of the sacred porcelain of a woman's face is poetry in my opinion.
Men's sexuality is too often misunderstood and we need prose like this to set the record straight.
I too found this allegory fascinating. I think the cumshot can have a lot of emotional qualities, for those involved or watching. Like a powerful reminder of the power exchange and sub/dom position. Depending on the reaction, pose, viewing angle and result, everything from just confirmation of the couple's bonding to a deeply felt sado-masochism type of situation, erotic degradation-style. So it's open to interpretations. I also like the mention of the Coolidge effect, which probably has deep genetic roots into human/male behaviour (as shown through the incessant variety in porn and variety in people's beds as well).
Never heard such a beautiful way to phrase the act of :
*Furiously ejaculating a high pressured stream of sticky opaque and bitter fluid on a woman's face*
Very interesting topic. Curious how many other people feel this way but, Tbh, the more attractive I find my partner, the less novel I want the sex to be. I find that the most boring sex is the best with the partner I desire the most because the simple contact alone is more than stimulating enough. And I wouldn’t even want any additional distraction. When the partner is maybe not as inherently stimulating is when I find myself wanting to do the more novel stuff.
Could never give THIS (what you said) context… but you nailed it
Much more desirable IMO to “hate-fuck” a one-off/purely transactional partner vs your “lover”, which tends to be more sensual. Complete difference in feeling.
Thanks for sharing. interesting point of view
Interesting point. As a guy I can somewhat relate though I never thought about it like that. On the other hand, it seems to me it's the opposite for women (more adventurous the more into the guy they are). So... In general it's probably a counterproductive tendency and one we should actively avoid.
You’re not wrong as a woman I feel the same. I mean it is thrilling to be with someone you actually desire and when they’re likable and you click? OOF. The body is so ecstatic that it heats up to the sound of their voice. I find that’s the best sex to have. Then the novel stuff feels extra kinky because the desire is so intense.
THANK YOU a for sharing this VOICE!
I thought that most women ideally want both the Chad and Dad in the same guy .... but finding such a guy isn't so easy as they're not as abundant.
This is my thought as well. Problem is, those type of guys are rare.
I married one, they are rare. Every woman I know is jealous
What is the definition of being chad and dad at the same time?? Just curious
@@atulkrjha has the genetics, perfect level of masculine bad boy appeal, combined with the solid ability to protect, provide, parentally invest, and have the values and such.
It’s like a Tesla car owner asking for gasoline. Most people are looking at that persons demands like “tf?”
But every once in a while, against all odds, life gives them gasoline
Hmmm guess I need to build a course on Chad-Dad transformation 😆
Chapter one: Why People Enjoy Facial Deposits. (I see Chris is a man of science)
The first segment was the wildest, most egregious piece of information I’ve ever heard. Yet I sat thru it. I am now ashamed of myself, yet weirdly more informed 😂.
Nou la! 🇭🇹
Moun lakay 🇭🇹
I'm an old dude out of the game, my experience is that I got pass the first filtering when I had no expectations when meeting woman I just talked to them. I found my wife when my flatmate was hitting on her friend in a bar she looked bored I though she would like somebody to talk to my flatmate when home empty handed my wife didn't. So I tell my sons, meet people and have fun without expectations, your girl friend will find you when she's ready.
Yup, I just got there aged 51. Wish I'd made it a lot sooner, now I just mingle with people, yes, of course I still find a need arising to be with a certain woman but I allow that desire to pass and then get back to just hanging out. I'm content and happy even when women don't find me of interest, there are plenty more of them!
"Women who are submissive are still running the show!" - Catherine Salmon. Absolutely nailed it! That is exactly the case. There is nothing a man won't do for a submissive woman. Aka, the control is still with the women. Most people usually think if the woman is submissive she's being controlled by the man. That is false, a real woman knows her power over a man, and that is what controls a man. Only a submissive and powerful woman can keep the beast tamed for herself... Again, it is the nature of the beast to not be controlled, but for a submissive woman a beast will relinquish that control... To the point that even if he knows he's being controlled he'll do it. Not always though, like every think in the world, it is not absolute. "For a beast is not a beast if he seizes to be the beast." - me Those who understand what I mean will understand what I mean... haha.
Facts
Based
Boom
Ceases. And agreed
Then she's not submissive, she's manipulative and disingenuous. Some women just don't want to play that silly little game. They recognise that their time here is limited, and they're not prepared to waste it trying to manipulate men. If they can't find a man who can handle a partnership of parity with them, then they're quite alright with being single.
Women don't just scream at Justin Bieber concerts. You can be sitting at a Cheesecake Factory at 6 pm on a Friday and if there is a group of young women at a table, every few minutes they will scream in unison....and if they see a friend enter the restaurant, they will scream at each other. I often use this to dispute the myth that women life in fear....people who live in fear do not behave in ways that attract maximum attention to themselves.
'softer, gently, kinder view of guys...' not only in novels that idea didn't work. my entire generation was demasculated by feminist influences and it made no one happy. the men or the women.
Was emasculated? Men are still being emasculated. Testosterone levels are at record lows. “Toxic masculinity” has young boys being prevented from engaging in rough and tumble play. Men and women need one another. Men need to be men and women need to be women. We don’t need to water one or the other down to suit a cultural agenda.
I love this woman. She literally treads where others are too scared to walk!
*dances
Some of it comes from her credentials listed at the top of this post. She's studied and is not uptight about any of it.
@@ga8065so she's as legit as they come.
"Our students can be fragile." says a lot.
In this scientific context, I think it noteworthy - I grew and maintained a semi through this entire segment
Lmao 😂😂❤❤ best comment of them all
employ the grandma technique
Ha. Impressive my friend. She's definitely a sexy milf but a semi for an hour... Cheers, mate!
Pictures or it didn’t happen.
Interesting discussion. It's very apparent to anyone who actually studies evolutionary psychology and understand male to female social dynamics, that men and women are very different in what they find attractive (a lot of times are asymmetrical, eg. men like looks in a women, women like personality/status in a guy). This knowledge needs to be more mainstream, instead of feminism taking over and brainwashing people into thinking men and women are equal/same, because in reality they are not.
Somewhere in a universe far far away, it be like that. Sadly it is not in this one
Women like looks in a guy too, why nobody can admit it?
@@cyberpunkenjoyer3032 that much is abundantly clear with the height requirement alone
@@lordofgingers yeah lmaooooo bro the only difference I can see between men and women is women care sbout every single standard to a higher degree than men do. Women even care about looks more than men but they also care about money, personality etc more than men. It's not that women care less about looks, quite the contrary it's just that they value multiple things. It's maybe when they're very old and unattractive where they may begin to loosen looks standards and focus on the other categories a bit more.
@@brianmeen2158 yea people don’t want to listen to things that make them uncomfortable. It’s human nature. But if one is able to sit comfortably in discomfort, so to speak, then there is a feeling of elation that accompanies that acceptance
I found this conversation super interesting... I am interested in the recent fascination about Harry Styles wearing a dress and make-up - it's not new... Bowie was doing that in the 70's and had women flocking at his feet, and Prince was repeatedly counted as the sexiest man in the planet. Both of them very feminine in their looks.
Robert Greene in his book, The Art of Seduction, states, those who gently cross over the border of feminity / masculinity, they will attract a lot. Timothee Chamalet, a very effeminate looking man is enjoying this success. Marilyn Monroe had a slightly deep voice for a woman. I think it's about, they're more attainable? More relatable? More at ease, I think.
@@brianmeen2158 exactly, it’s all about the fame and status. Let those same guys be average men walking around the street and see if women want them
@@brianmeen2158 I used to find Price quite beautiful in a feminine way, but never saw him as sexually attractive. I used to like some of the heavy metal guys though, the more strong looking bulky men with long hair lol
It's simple why women are sometimes attracted to effeminate men. 80% of women are actually bisexual.
I don't recall seeing Bowie wearing a dress, or Prince. I'm not aware that Prince wore makeup, either.
"Don't try to understand women. They understand each other and they hate each other."
- Al Roker
yes
Al Bundy
Al Roker??? The weatherman?? 😂
@@sirdiealot53It was said by Al Bundy. and as for the quote, its true (in part) because women are all about double standards, they want one thing, but want the other thing too.. not just bad boy sexually, but nice guy for family, everything. And the 2nd part of the quote, They DO NOT understand each other, (they will however surround themselves with like minded cliques, to support their own style/thinking ; see echo chambers). Its not that they hate each other, they see all other women as competition. so he was right about trying to understand them, because you need a PHD to see it all, and sort of close to how they treat each other.
The conversation around Harry Styles and feminine men is interesting. I'm typically attracted to very masculine men (military/mma types) but I don't actually see him as being super feminine, despite the dress ... not the way our culture would traditionally say a gay man is feminine. I feel his appeal is his uniqueness and the balls to go for it and pull it off. The same way it was popular back in the 90s for the alternative crowd to get multiple earrings or paint their nails - but they were different, the bad boys and we still wanted them lol. This isn't new, you've got Johhny Depp, Prince, Mick Jagger and the like who were not only doing traditionally feminine things like wearing make up, but were known for their prowess with women.
@@fiveleavesleft6521 that sounds like a cope.
@@johnathanmandrake7240 Cope at what?
Women are attracted to Harry Styles, fact. It's a cope to pretend they're not.
Slight femininity is attractive on a masculine man. I’m both and it’s hard to describe but when I’m ‘on’ I’m able to attract virtually every woman.
Men are most attracted to a beautiful feminine woman who thinks like a man. Cher or J Lo being a good example. Women are most attracted to a handsome masculine man who thinks like a woman. Mickey Rourke or Depp being a great example.
@@mickethegoblin7167when has Mickey Route ever “thought like a woman” and what are we even referring to?
In regards to erotica, most women that still read it (the physical books) are older and likely more traditional in a sense, so of course they want the more traditional looking man. Whereas the erotica that younger generations read is not in books but on apps like Wattpad, Tumblr, Webtoons, etc. When cruising through those apps, you see that the “feminine men” have a huge appeal too, hence why K-pop is so popular among younger women. There are tons of k pop (bts in particular) and harry styles and Loki type fanfiction and erotica. It’s a generational thing, not many ppl read books nowadays too, at least physical ones. Loved the video! 🥰
The fem/K-Pop male look usually appeals to younger adolescent women. Adolescent women who have ambiguity & at times fear of traditional masculine maleness as presented in the media. Most grow out of it & have a preference for more traditional masculine men. If an older woman is deep into fem looking men its likely she has negative feelings/ideas about men especially masculine men. Its usually due to some bad or traumatic experiences.
True. We also have to take a look at the generational shift.
@@rosiegomez5809 What are you on about lol? Most of these feminine men, are quite masculine.
@@riririri100 Actually Rosie has it exactly right. Young, immature women women often prefer feminine men because they're intimidated by masculine men. But most women grow out of that fear. And no, feminine men are not masculine, by definition. I gotta say, it's funny how each new generation thinks that they're the ones who invented sex. Or at least the first ones to be transgressive.
@@rosiegomez5809 If I'm remembering correctly, there was a woman who did a Ted talk on how the birth control pill affected the brain, and one interesting finding was that women on the pill were more attracted to feminine men.
I was 13 when The Beatles arrived to America. I have three sisters. I was amazed at the zombie-like hypnotic state girls would go into. It really cautioned me about females. They screamed for The Beatles, then The Rolling Stone, The Dave Clark Five, and on and on. I felt that they were capable of betrayal and that they were more interested in the image than the person. I didn't know that I was witnessing the Alpha Male reaction in females.
I've seen them at celebrity parties
Same scenario.
Chris, great podcast as always. Appreciate your work and hope you continue doing the great job you're currently doing. You and your podcast have truly had a life changing effect on me, thank you.
Why do you reckon people are so negative about this podcast and the educated woman you spoke to? What's up with the whole "don't ask women for advice about women"?
As soon as you start talking about evpsych or gender dynamics as a guy, you get lumped into the redpill manosphere. Some of the redpill world allow and encourage their audience to behave like brats. I’m not part of that world, and I don’t want that audience.
@@ChrisWillx I love that stance, chris. I’ve been feeling disgusted at what the redpill movement has become. Some are trying hard to justify treating women as objects instead of equal counterparts and disguising it as the “realistic” way of viewing the world.
Women generally do give quite poor advice when it comes to dating though, I mean don't take my word for it, browse and see for yourself.
@@Vladimyrful I think people in general give pretty bad advice. But I understand what you mean because I’d agree that more women act like they have good dating advice 😂. Perhaps experience and age are better categories to judge on.
@@JosephBacons Oh yeah, fully agreed! Because people usually don't have the best grasp of the problem they're trying to solve. (I'm generalizing but you get what I mean).
A significant number of people not being able to understand that men and women are "equal in value" does not mean men and women "are the same" is troubling.
Men and women are not equal in value. Male disposability reflects this. Men are left to die but the women and kids get to leave when wars and crises break out
That is not equal. But evolutionarily speaking, it makes sense why it’s like that.
Do you listen to SUZANNE VENKER too?
The time stamp, 'Why People Enjoy "Facial Deposits" ' is absolutely hilarious! I think I just deposited something in my pants as I laughed soo hard at this. Thank you for that, Chris 😅
Facts
Hahahaha…EPIC!!…
2mins in, this womans ideas are very much needed. Smart lady
2min man 🤏💨🤭🐩🦄🔫🔫
“Not every woman cares about money” -Every Woman
😂😂😂
I mean that's correct. A 18-20 year old woman will date a broke guy who's tall , has a prominent, sharp square jaw, prominent cheekbones, hunter eyes over a recessed chin rich guy. That' s when we talk about actual physical attraction, not betabuxxing
They don't, especially past the point of some comfort. Yeah, few women are gonna be hyped on a guy making $20k/yr with no prospects but once you've hit semi-comfortable-life income, it's not that big a deal for most.
They want proof of your potential - money can go, good genes and memes, not so much..
You can be broke when a woman is in her 304 phase
When she’s washed up she’s gonna turn into the typical most exceptional special woman in the world and deserve a high value man
As a man it’s your job to read where that woman stands and not invest time in a relationship when you can level up and get better quality down the line.
Women decrease value in the sexual marketplace with high tier men over time
Men increase their value over time.
Once a man hits his peak the options are endless
Women will always have endless options because men will always seek that pump and dump
I actually asked an onlyfans girl why she actually did that - and she said that she liked the 'degrading' experience.
And certainly saying so during a session earns her more tips, too; win/win
Women want a perfect blend of both
I'm 71 years old and am 5'6" I dated a lot of tall women. Many taller women liked me. There were those that felt I was too short, but there were plenty of good-looking women that dated me. This was so much of a thing during my long bachelorhood that I really felt like a five-foot-tall woman was too much like a child. Most of the time, they were an inch or two taller than me, which is what I really prefer. The funniest episode I experienced was a tall blonde woman, I mean 6'5" who really liked me. Her hair was as long as I was tall. She wrote me a couple of amazingly juicy letters. When we dated, we went to a sushi shop, and then she had me for dessert! But for me, she was just too much territory to deal with! I kinda feel bad about it looking back because she seemed to really have a thing for me.
I'm a 5'6" man, and I approve this message.
That's tall, wow. She would be taller than most men by some degree.
I'm south Indian, but grew up outside of India for the most part. So my take on it may not be fully informed, but I am familiar enough that I feel comfortable speculating.
India has a very socially conservative culture. Granted it's modernizing rapidly, but there are still large swaths of society where taboos still exist on women dressing in a scandalous/revealing manner, often reinforced by society and close family/relatives. So perhaps the most likeliest scenario/ "natural" manner in which someone might come across a woman's body being revealed may be in the context of breastfeeding? I wonder if that's why it's such a popular category, because it has proximity to something that could possibly happen in reality, at least more than the other extravagant imagined scenarios that porn seems to typically put forward.
Breastfeeding is actually quite popular in India and has been shown in movies and tv shows and is a relatively common occurrence in buses and trains. This doesn’t happen in other countries as much. I remember having being ‘sprayed’ with milk directly from her breast when I was curious about a bai breastfeeding her kid (as a funny thing of course) lol.
It could be that there is a higher rate of breastfeeding in india so the imprint takes place and thus adult male attraction.
In the US many are not breastfeed and after a few weeks of maternity leave babies are sent to a corporate / govt facility for child care. Over all, male attachment to mother and female is broken at critical developmental phases so in adult life there is less attraction to breast and female in general so relationships are more transactional as males are unable to bond with females in the same way if they were mothered when young.
About "facial deposits." I'm almost positive I know why this is so commonly liked by men. It is perceived by society as being degrading, however if someone you're with likes you enough to not only let you do it but also act like they enjoy it it makes you feel more valuable. "Wow, this person likes me so much they're willing to let me do this thing that society considers perverse." However in reality it is a common act that shows love and devotion and has been mislabeled. The funny thing is that it being mislabeled is what gives it its significance.
I wonder if YT will let me post this. lol
I’ve never understood exactly what is supposed to be so degrading or demeaning about it. To me it’s more like a man marking his territory, and while I can’t speak for all women, I think many of us find a primal excitement in that concept.
I think you're actually pretty correct there; well done.
@@central_scrutinizrits that very 'marking of territory' that is antithetical to the modern feminist ideal, and therefore seen as taboo, i think. And who doesnt love a bit of taboo? Haha
@@central_scrutinizr and if its several men marking that territory? 😜
Would you wish to do that to your wife? It's disrespectful, an act that should be reserved for concubines or the porn films.
She let the heavies out for this one... well done.
If women are saying that men are less masculine I would counter that women are also less feminine.
thats poor of you, be more of a man, no excuses rise above buddy
I read that serum testasterone ia higher in US women and their voice is slightly deeper. In stressful environments females are highly adaptive and become more masculine. The female body is capable of shutting down mentruation entirely and putting on muscle. So if females live in a culture that puts more stress on them they do in fact become masculine.
I would like to see stats on irregular menstruation but I surmise it is likely these rates are higher in the US as well.
BTW I have tried posting male test and sperm count data which has declined precipitously over the last 40 years but the comments are censored. Perhaps this will be posted.
I would caution against drawing conclusions towards what women want from romance novels. While it’s true that about 80% of romance readers are women, romance is only a relatively small fraction of fiction, which again is just a fraction of books overall. Then one has to take into account that about 40% of the population don’t read at all.
And believing fiction will guide you to your love life is a bit immature. Some people may have a hard time separating the two (like "Don Jon" of the movie of the same name), but not the majority. Methink.
In my experience with women that I've spoken to after the fact, their like for rough sex is not about the "wow he wants me so bad", it's more about her being able to surrender and let go entirely, almost like letting go of the self or complete escapism for a while
Ring a ding ding!
I've had some who were into bdsm (submissive side) tell me that it absolves them of responsibility and hence also of guilty feelings about sex...
Its both. And it takes TRUST to be able to let go like that, too.
As a woman my first 15ish years of sex was unsatisfying. I enjoyed it but I rarely got "there." I was hung up on "his" pleasure and of if he would "put a label" on me in his head. Then in my early 30s I met my now husband and my not being able have orgasms really bothered HIM! He felt he wasn't "good enough" to please me...and he was "man" enough to tell me so. I assured him it was not him but it didn't help.
After a few more weeks he had enough. He told me my sexual pleasure was not supposed to be about him, that it supposed to be about myself. And that my being able to "let go" and enjoy myself would in turn increase the pleasure he got from being with me. Which in turn would increase my pleasure even more etc etc.
He was so right! We've been together 21 years now, married 15...and we're still enjoying it together!
@@1twistedcpl6575 That's great to hear - at the end of the day sexual compatibility is not just about 'selfless vs. selfish', it's usually more about how each person 'gets off' that then can come off as selfless/selfish
In terms of your husband, he sounds similar to me in that he probably gets off on watching the girls pleasure more than anything else, so it's a core feature of how he then acts
She is a very effective researcher/educator.
By my mid twenties, I figured out to watch what women actually do vs. listen to what they say. Many things I was taught about women growing up were flat out wrong. The problem is that many women are happy drinking the popular culture Kool-Aid until they hit their early 30s.
We modern people are so far detached from our primal instincts that some of these things are alien to us..... Just think how profound this is. How great we've changed as a species in such little time.... Scary stuff..
La imaginación, esa es la respuesta a tu pregunta entre la diferencia de ver una película y leer. La fantasía es personal, no es lo que se imaginó un guionista de una película de bajo presupuesto. Muy bueno el video!
The issue when it comes to wanting normal guys vs dominant guys is women cannot detach reality frrom their fantasies....
Men obviously want porn stars..with amazing bodies...but we can more easily dispose of these ideals and preferences in the real world. Sure women should have standards as should men...but its important to be realistic...
I would argue we have no choice. Most women don’t want most men. But most men want most women. That gap in desire in my opinion plays a major role in this difference you are highlighting
I think this is an incredibly well stated idea. church pastors want to shame dudes for porn, but they never shame women directly for social media use.
Tom Brady. 6'-4" tall, multi-multi millionaire, 7-time (quarterback) superbowl champ 😂, in good shape, good looking dude, speaks 5 languages, great family guy. Wife dumps him. 🤣🤣 They are insatiable, its evolution. You cannot win, just roll with it!
So he's perfect and she just dumped him without any valid reason. This is how you're presenting the situation. And it's unrealistic.
That’s why marriage is a waste of time. Women are full grown children you can never please.
@@Zebielie
Fathers have authority over their children. Men today do not have authority over their wives. You miss this fact. Children do not have freedom to do what they want because parents are responsible. Women are given freedom with lack of responsibility and men are responsible and on the hook. So it’s no longer the same.
@@thehylander266 How do you think it got here?
@@MC-ze8wj
Weak men.
Really enjoyed the cheerful tone of this conversation. Very interesting episode.
Already my favorite episode, Chris - my man, well done!
I remember I was a pretty short as 13 year old. I used to act kind and very friendly. Woman in school used to ignore me and guys used to bully me. I had no friends.
Over the years developed a emotionless dark personality who didn't give a fck about anyone. I also became the second tallest guy in the class. And suddenly women began to chase me. They even started to write 50 shades of grey tier fanfictions about me.
No matter what society say most girls always like a dominating masculine man not some caring emotional guy.
Almost believable until the fanfiction thing lol
@8thaccount321yes
I seem to have snatched myself a partner that is both masculine and sensitive at the same time. He's Austrian, I'm German, we got to know each other via online gaming. I moved to live with him, three years ago, after having been in a LDR for five plus years. Engaged now and going to be married in summer next year. He is masculine in the traditional sense of being very sporty, well-built, working out a lot, being a hunter and collector of guns (which is very uncommon here, compared to the U.S) and goes shooting a lot. He is also a very good cook and takes care of our home more than me, because I work full time and he is working part-time. He is as much into cuddling as I am. So. Jackpot? (also considered very handsome by many people) Here is the thing, though: he is 3 years younger than me. I had my reservations at first, because I was 25 and he was 22 when we met, but he was taking evening courses to get is college degree and also doing an apprenticeship as a laboratory assistant, so that seemed pretty responsible and mature to me. He also doesn't drink. Only a very occasional beer, like once every two to three months. Oh, and he is 5,8'. I am 5,2' myself, though.
It seems to me like the mating crisis is way more prevalent in the U.S. in Europe, or at least Germany and Austria don't seem to be this affected (yet). I feel like the demands from potential partners and beauty standards are much more severe than here. I have no data to back this up, but from what I see and know, it seems to be true.
European maternity/paternity policies in the workforce suggest a more pro-family stance, relative to the US as well. Perhaps this translates to pro-dating, pro-marriage as well?
One theory I read many years ago which I found plausible and interesting regarding fetlsh as a biological mating diversification strategy. Two people that share matching fetlsh will be so strong of a match to overcome traditional mate selection cue, and enrich the genetic variety or humanity
And the article also mentioned fetlsh is not hereditary nor socially taught not rather seems random person to person
People will come up with very novel and convincing ways to explain tawdry, sad actions. To themselves as well as others.
This type of discourse is great. I only hope everyone who watches also realises that for all the women that every discussion point does apply to, there will be tens-of-thousands to billions of women who it does not apply to, and if you assume that a generalization of evolutionary/sexual psychology applies to all women (or men), through your resulting approaches and assumptions in life and love, you might accidentally close yourself off to the women of the world that these generalizations don't apply to. The most general feature of evolutionary/sexual psychology is that it produces variation (in what women and men are attracted to). The best thing you can do is learn how to read people well, learn what they like, and adapt to what their unique psychology is. Some women don't like to be degraded, and genuinely do like nice and gentle men, just like there are men out there who prefer to be submissive. If you meet a woman like that who you like and want to be with, just be willing to potentially accept that she is built that way for real, and not be stuck in assuming that she wants something else or doesnt yet know her own psychology (which is also possible), like many vids and podcasts might unintentionally lead their viewers astray in believing, putting them in a worse off place where they can only ever attract the type of women that gets caricaturized in some of these discussions (extraverted, high-feeling, hypersexual, testy, etc.)
"I've never lost a woman, by being to "mean", but I've lost many, by being to nice". 10ish years ago, while women were screaming about "grape culture" aso, I looked into things. The most sold book - 50 shades of Grey.. The most commen fantasy - domination. More than 50% of women had said "no", while hoping he would push on (so-called "shit test") and regeretted it.. Women want, what other women want, that they them selves don't know, if they can get.. Written before watching - let's see, what she tells us. Be strong guys..!!! B)
It's definitely better to be overly masculine, dominant, or assertive, than to be nicer to women if you want her to find u attractive romantically, and not view u as a friend.
@@CommandoMaster 4 sure. I've studied this stuff for 50ish years..
@Commando Master That will work with the women it works with, other women will be indifferent to or repelled by your approach.
@@CommandoMaster You said it right there: ‘overly’
= too much. Why not just be yourself and find a woman who wants you as you are, rather than putting on a facade.
I was a pretty submissive and hopelessly romantic guy as a 13 year old kid. Now as 19 year old I am pretty dominant and don't believe in stupid romance. It'd be impossible for me to even act submissive even the said girl is my true love. The problem is society gaslights boys to be femenized boys instead of being a man.
What about well-rounded masculinity? Like when you can lift, write, make art, be emotionally available, hunt, build, and even fight to defend your woman?
The effeminate nerd and the meathead are not your only options here
Incredibly hard to find someone, maybe for a no attachment relationship or a ONS but not for a LTR which is what most women want
38:40 women nowadays think that they live in a benign neighbourhood, because of the media pushing Harry Styles media persona. The reality difference /understanding, between male and female in 2024 , is off the charts . Until the so called benign environment around them suddenly becomes hostile / life threatening ( street and day to day ) social media fb etc. . great job again either way with this video my friend. Another wonderful, open and intelligent guest you chose. Hats off to you and your team. And also to the wonderful and intelligent , yet super feminine Katherine . 👏🏴
A charismatic dedicated dad with chad-like abilities
Nope, a charismatic Chad with dedicated dad-like abilities. In romance novels, the guy starts off as total non-dad material like Christian Grey and usually does not want or feel like he can become a husband/dad. Only after he falls in love with the girl does he become perfect husband/dad material.
On the "agenda towards feminine men", I think the force behind this has to do with the proliferation of pop culture into older demographics, people taking with them the spirit of youth of the cultural environment they grew up in, leading to both the phenomenons of later spiritual development in men and women's preference for more androgynous feminine men as typical of younger girls. It's less so an "agenda" but a significant shift in the underlying sociological basis of society to remain as primarily consumers for longer before becoming a significant producer or provider, which is a strong critical feature of adulthood.
They want a Chad Dad. Why? Because everyone wants their cake and eat it, too.
No. The 'dad' part is cringe and absolutely disgusting
Sex has always been a physical act, and passion and romance allows the man to physically express his love, and sometimes that can be more aggressive but it's not associated with violence.
Having sex and or making love and allowing the man to physically take control, assuming he knows what hes doing is the highest form of connection between a man and a women, and it also means bodies are in motion and there will be some sort of physicality or even roughness, but done correctly, it represents the love a man has for that women and ultimately expressing that with masculine energy, whoever said good sex had to be soft and light like in some soppy romance novel, when real passion is expressed it can come out as strong, bold and powerful, but never violent as that would entail anger or loss of control, the complete opposite of when a man is showing love to a women.
People have confused rough sex for good sex, people think that good sex has to be rough but that's because in those situations there is no actual passion and love involved, its just transactional.
If a man is truly expressing his physical love for a women and she knows how to properly recieve and allow that man in, it will be strong and passionate, not rough, rough sex is for two adults who have no feeling or connection, just smashing it out.
I believe lust drives the physicality and love tempers it to some degree. A combination of lust and love makes for good sex in my experience. On the whole I agree with your comment .lol
I agree with you.
Bro I'm a manlet (5'5), and I would be the LAST person to recommend and pressure women to read an article that states "you should like shorter guys". 😂 40:00
Also, just to encourage other short dudes: develop charisma and style, and you'll be good. And start talking to chicks.
ad1: And yes, people CAN be cruel. Attractive girls CAN be cruel. Rejections are unavoidable. Be grateful you are alive, focus on your own shit, and you'll find those who worth your time.
I’m 5’11 but I have short friends who struggle in social settings, and more specifically with women because of their height. There’s no sugarcoating it, dating and attracting women is definitely harder for short men, and it’s great that you’ve already acknowledged that. I respect that you’re not just complaining about it and instead you’re developing yourself to improve your odds despite of that cruel reality. 🫡🤝🏼
You sound like a good guy.
I hope you find someone worthy someday soon.
Some great comments below so I'm just going to add yet another great show. Thanks for introducing us to these interesting experts Chris.
Every time I watch my favorite podcaster Chris,I am more & more grateful I have the hubby I married. No offense but,the time he came on my chest & said MINE! I was his forever🤣
Jesus! hahahaha
😂 that’s great. I was just thinking how lucky I am to have my husband while watching this
That is hilarious 😂
lol
Love your facial expression and the brief moment to collect yourself after you say, "Are you dating someone that's six inches shorter than you?" - I feel like I can see your inner Chris going, "really man, six inches? ... for fucks sake.. alright, we said it, we're committed now, push on" - probably all in my head, but it made me chuckle. :)
Why is it so hard to understand different women like different types of men? Men don’t all like the same sort of women.
When it comes to personality men do all want the same woman. Kind, pretty, supportive, non argumentative.
I definitely think there is a chasm between what we sexually fantasize about, and what we actually want. Things that men watch in porn they would never want in an ideal romantic partner. Sexual attraction is NOT equally correlated with romantic connection. It’s also not a good idea to take the subset of the population that reads romantic novels and use it be representative of the entire population.
I love rough sex with my husband because he is a kind and gentle man. I know he won’t go too far, but I love watching him come close. I trust him. If I was with someone I don’t completely trust, I would not want rough sex.
well said!
In a Western World that claims to celebrate diversity and difference the claim that males and females are the same is bizarre. You can’t easily encapsulate what a woman is or what a man is but they are different; even if they are more similar than they are different.
One of the best yet. Very interesting. Particularly the part about societal ideals vs personal ideals.
Screaming is an expression of unabated excitement. When emotions have reached a fever pitch and you feel you cannot contain it any more, particularly girls express that emotion and release that pent up energy with screaming.
More importantly, it is a way to generate excitement as well. If someone wants to accentuate their emotional high, they can do so with extreme vocalization. For men, this might be chanting at a football game.
Interestingly, hearing someone else vocalizing their elation can also generate excitement in the listener. This is particularly true in socially acceptable situations, like a rock concert or a football game. When everyone is screaming around you, it simultaneously expresses your emotions and feeds them.
Today I learned that even male frogs have to deal with “sh!t tests”.
I’m glad I came across this episode.
Chris. Amazing well done. Do more topics like this. Very refreshing.
The one thing missing in this discussion is recognition that what we fantasise about is not actually what we want. Sexual fantasy is not exclusively related to we want in RL. Not because of social proprietary only but also about the fantasy having a symbolic and mediatory function.
Another excellent Vid Chris, great questions man.
It doesn't have to be one or the other. Sometimes degrading IS arousing. It can sometimes be both, for both people.
Haven't watched the video yet, but here's my prediction: when they're ovulating they want Chad. When they're pregnant and afterward they want Dad.
Whatever they want at one minute, they will not want at some other time.
There is no consistency in them, so dont look for them to offer it other than consistently inconsistent, or being truthful about what they really want if not provided to you by their attorney.
For women the end result is someone that is grown up, will not complete with the child for your attention, will assume his responsibilities. You get there by making someone (not very masculine) and somewhat dependent (on his mom), in to independent man that owns his mistakes and takes responsibility.
Or you take someone masculine and independent and make him care about someone else then himself, make him dependable.
Those are not easy tasks. Non is easier then the other.
Some men grow up in healthy families and are situated close to the gold middle, some work on themselves, by themselves, by aspirating to be better, others meet a woman that pushes them to get to the middle.
Men give love to get sex...
Women give sex to get love...
However, the definition of love is not the same for men and women...
Please bring her back in the show! She's hilarious & very knowledgeable. I LOVED this episode! ♥♥♥♥
I agree. This was such a vivacious interview. She’s enchanting.
Feel degraded and aroused are not mutually exclusive, especially in women!
Cannot wait..Thanks for the upload.
Oh please, who cares "what women want" anymore. The most privileged group in human history who complain the most.
Thears a different in what a person wants, desire. And what we're Told to want
@Chris Williamson At 30:00 You say women are now applauding men who are more submissive, agreeable and feminine, then point to Harry Styles as an example. Harry Styles is not submissive or agreeable. He may dress in a feminine way and sing, dance and write music, but honest self expression has always been attractive. Honest self expression is risky and polarising, it’s the opposite of submissive and agreeable. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to put yourself out there. But it’s always been attractive. Elvis dancing and singing in 1950 was ‘feminine’, risky and polarising. Same as artists today.
As a man I am viewing this great talk with a mixture of interest and bubbly lust the professor arouses in me. Evolutionary psychology indeed.
Yelling obscenities at Justin Trudeau is a common thing in Canada.
I'm glad to hear that 👍
This was so eye opening. Thank you
You don't want to keep your eyes open when it happens.
I love her. I love how she's giving us a little peek throughout the interview.
into her bustier you mean?
lol i think it looks terrible, especially at that age.
@@TJ-vl1ff agreed
@@TJ-vl1ff What age? She's still young and attractive, and her "assets" are in fine shape. But it's highly inappropriate. It detracts from her argument.
@@TJ-vl1ff Nah dude, I enjoyed it lol (cougar baby)
Men don't watch porn as much as we're Told to. Honestly honestly porn is boring. Please stop saying that it sounds good
This girl knows what she’s doing wearing that low cut shirt. And it’s working
29:08 We saw that
This was a hilariously entertaining talk given the intellectual nature of the topic.
I think that despite the large amount of research people like Catherine have done regarding female sexuality, they're still coming at it from a sense of societal propriety, such as stating that women are drawn to men who are willing to be rough with them and essentially rationalizing why that would be. Truth of the matter is we are essentially intelligent hairless apes and 95% of our evolutionary time frame for our instincts happened in prehistory where murder, rape and constant threats of violence were the norm. Conquering nations and enslaving their women to force the next generation as a expedited rate. Rape happens to be one of women's top sexual fantasies and when you look into the sexual research regarding the darker aspects of our sexuality, you'll come to find that female rape victims actually have orgasms nearly twice as often as consensual heterosexual pairings. It's one of the most twisted facts about human sexual functions but given how female orgasms and oxytocin production functions for pair bonding, then you realize it's function for bonding with the new tribe/army that has captured yours. Women who refused to coalesce over time to their new rulers wouldn't last very long and neither would their children.
Heinous stuff.
...So let's ignore it!
An age o reason in our time...
Heinous stuff.
...So let's ignore it!
An Age o Reason in our time...
......
You posted the proximal; let's explore the distal...
.....
Human females like rough, or overwhelming, sex because mammals are tournament "sex selection" [incomplete term brought to you by the girl-dad "mutton-chops" [tm] near you, that the masses interpret as 'freewill,' with help from their friendly neighborhood social engineer] -- only the roughest males win the fights vs other males and therefore only the roughest are available for ...the-hermaphrodite-regulatory-feature-expressed-as-"female"-that-generation... reproduction.
Females in general like the male orgasm because, again that is the way the "female" (stunted/attacked hermaphrodite) breeds.
Further upper mammals are "obligate dimorphic" (as are upper birds and insects and some fish):" Even if the female is not encountered, interdicted, "entangled," in this way, she will /can NOT mature into a male [eggs disaggregate into sperm factories as hermaphro matures] nor breed.
...
Recent porn has allowed the female human to key into that aspect of her libido -- "yeah that's it -- goal" /sex hormone /swoon inducing.
But the world is juvenile and insane now -- because of duhmerica -- so you may thus ignore me accordingly ..."We is all up and choosing to `adapt to be equal" -- "I love the sciencing".
citation needed bruh
@@evanobrien8662
All of mammal nature.
If the credentialed classes don't agree, they are out of order.
"Why" should be concerning to the intellectually honest.
@@evanobrien8662 Learn to read. No woke sociologist will do this kind of ‘research’.
I personally am a vanilla doujin enjoyer. I don't want the seggs to be the focus. I want to hear a storyline and get engaged emotionally so that it feels like relationship seggs. A couple alternating feom absolutely infatuated with each other and slowly turning into their idealized selves and being in a relaxed companionate love is a treat to read and see. Seeing the gal touch her BF's face and say "sorry I wasn't listening, you're face is just so..." sends tingles down my spine and floods me with memories of past relationships.
I wonder if there's even an evolutionary psych explanation for my womanly sexual fantasies.
Yes there is. Its very simple and adaptive.
You want what you want when you want it without having to explain or apologize or suffer consequences. The ultimate goal is to do what you want and not have to do anything you dont want to.
Should we discuss my fee?
Rough sex - isn't it simply tapping into male sexual dominance in a safe, controlled environment, supported by mutual trust?
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 I do respect an amusingly provocative username.
"There can be a social agenda in not wanting some men to be more aggressive... and we often see a negative view of masculinity in general."
I always assumed that rough sex in whatever way asked for by women is a "show me what you got" kind of thing. Humans have become so refined and law abiding (for the most part) and treat women gently etc. I always felt that sometimes they tapped into that primitive brain and wanted to experience that kind of ownership and dominance we could have over them just for that moment.
Oh you gonna get into trouble with that thinking, whole lotta trouble! I ain't putting you down, I'm an old man and women aren't interested in me so as I'm safe now. Just there were times once when I'd do a woman's bidding.
I feel like this is explained to be way more complicated than need be
But then there would be no conversation, and so then what?
It always starts out that way. Then, it eventually takes shape and before you know it we'll have concrete textbooks that concisely summarize it all. Just takes time to get there.