How to Win Every Argument (without losing friends)

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  • Опубліковано 26 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 193

  • @jase_allen
    @jase_allen 4 роки тому +133

    I had a coworker that I used to debate. I could listen to her points, calmly ask questions, and slowly lead her to my position, but she'd always just loop back to her beginning argument by saying something like "Well I don't care. I think this..." That's kind of frustrating.
    I currently have a coworker I've stopped discussing serious topics with because he's so out there, I half think he's just trolling me. At least I really, REALLY hope so. He's told me or others that the moon landing was faked and anyone who gives evidence it happened is part of the conspiracy, the earth is flat and any evidence to the contrary is fake, and that doctors are part of a conspiracy to kill people using immunizations.
    I flat out refuse to have deep discussions with many members of my family, 'cause I have absolutely zero tolerance for anyone who thinks it's okay to just blurt out bigoted slurs. I walked out of a holiday dinner because of that. I kind of felt guilty for doing that, but when it's difficult to resist hitting someone over the slurs coming out of their mouth, it's time to leave.

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +99

      Something I didn't mention and maybe should have is: you're not required to argue with anyone, regardless of what they think. You can always refuse to dance, you can always refuse an argument. You don't owe anyone anything when it comes to their opinion. This, of course, goes both ways, but it's sometimes an important reminder. I'm sorry you had to walk out of family dinner. Families can be hard. It's good to have a family that you're born into and another family that you chose! ❤️❤️❤️

    • @-Slinger-
      @-Slinger- 4 роки тому +7

      @@TraceDominguez *owe (weird word) And also if you want to dance, but your 'partner' only knows headbanging it's no use.

    • @sjshoker
      @sjshoker 4 роки тому +8

      I think it's about recognizing what's an argument of opinions, and what's an argument of identity. People are very defensive of their identity, and the ignorant are especially. So in situations where you are trying to present facts that counter the other person's opinion/stance, the person can often retreat if they feel it's an attack on their identity. It requires them to trust you a lot to get past that barrier once it's up and is a slow process because it's probably a piece-by-piece change.

    • @-Slinger-
      @-Slinger- 4 роки тому +2

      @@Bronkowitsch Me too, tortoise in particular.

    • @theramendutchman
      @theramendutchman 4 роки тому +4

      > 'cause I have absolutely zero tolerance for anyone who thinks it's okay to just blurt out bigoted slurs
      Do we have the same family?

  • @raijin2950
    @raijin2950 4 роки тому +35

    Tom Scott brought me here and im glad he did.

  • @crcker3841
    @crcker3841 4 роки тому +64

    I'm so mad that you don't have more subscribers. Good on Tom Scott for recognizing your talent.

    • @abhi36292
      @abhi36292 4 роки тому

      fr

    • @ramadjones
      @ramadjones 2 роки тому

      Don't get mad, bro. Be a messenger! Let your friends know that Trace makes good content, and share a video of his that you like. Boom. You're the hero.

  • @auxhotaru
    @auxhotaru 4 роки тому +39

    a) Literally was on Wikipedia this morning and also donated $3.
    b) This whole video was peripheral messaging for the 'stache.

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +9

      hahahahah B is accurate. My stache was making an argument

  • @robroy25
    @robroy25 4 роки тому +2

    Trace you nailed it as far as Listen goes.....most people these days don't know how to listen.....they hear one word that triggers a response and they spend the next moments thinking about what they are going to say instead of listening to the rest of what their opponent is saying.
    This is clear when you see flat earthers trying to argue....and failing.

  • @W9e0e2e3e4pizza
    @W9e0e2e3e4pizza 4 роки тому +32

    Why would I engage in an argument?
    Also I loved the one off, special episodes are always enjoyed!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +11

      Perhaps you think a hot dog is not a sandwich?

  • @pranavshinde1727
    @pranavshinde1727 4 роки тому +3

    You are seriously underrated..... You are quite good at your job... I generally do not do this... But I will seriously share this channel with others... You deserve at least more than 3 to 4 million subs

  • @norbat1
    @norbat1 4 роки тому +12

    Hey Trace, this is great! Thank you for making this 😀

  • @Toastmaster_5000
    @Toastmaster_5000 4 роки тому +2

    I agree with all of this and think it is all well said, but, one thing I would add is to not just listen but express an understanding of the other person's point of view and don't make it seem like you're trying to attack it. You can tell them outright that you disagree with it as long as you are friendly and polite about it. Think of it like ridicule vs constructive criticism, or concern vs scorning.
    Very few people have malicious intent or like something seen as lame to others. Most of the time, it's because there isn't a common understanding.

  • @dannmitton
    @dannmitton 4 роки тому +4

    Love the one-off, love the stache. To be honest I think one-offs like this one really profile you at an advantage because you get to frame an argument and solve it in the context of an eight-minute video. This establishes trust and curiosity about how well you deal with multi-part topical videos. I think your brand has room for both. Also that scruff is a huge part of why the stache works right now.

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +2

      This whole comment persuaded me to give you a ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @ooglek
    @ooglek 4 роки тому +28

    One-offs are good. Mustasche: how do you feel about your mustache?

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +11

      I feel weird about it. It looks really good, and I always thought I looked WEIRD with mustaches…

    • @norbat1
      @norbat1 4 роки тому +6

      @@TraceDominguez I thought the exact same thing myself, until I didn't shave for a while during the first wave of 'Rona and it looked.. pretty decent actually!

    • @ooglek
      @ooglek 4 роки тому +2

      @@TraceDominguez You keep being YOU then, because that's how we got to this point of interaction. If YOU love your mustache, wear it proud.

  • @f52_yeevy
    @f52_yeevy 4 роки тому +4

    This men knows about burrata, may he be blessed

  • @jessiebullock
    @jessiebullock 4 роки тому +3

    Hey Trace! I love your videos. I like the different series that you’ve done but I also really enjoyed this one off.
    Sometimes I get intimidated by the length of a series episode and tell myself I’ll go back and binge the whole series when it’s finished...but then I forget. I would personally enjoy more one offs (but that’s just me).
    Thank you for the work you do! I really enjoy your videos!

  • @MediQate
    @MediQate 4 роки тому +12

    Vsauce left a gaping hole in UA-cam..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Then came Trace.

  • @Obsidian_One1
    @Obsidian_One1 4 роки тому +3

    I can almost swear this guy was what got me subscribed to PBS. What happened?!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      Hello yes, I am also hosting a PBS show called Star Gazers!

  • @hitchikerspie
    @hitchikerspie 4 роки тому +3

    Came from Tom Scott appearance 😁

  • @PeanutSpring3
    @PeanutSpring3 3 роки тому +1

    This was a great video! I often try to act like this in any arguments, but boy are the people I talk to stubborn. No matter how much you listen, and obtain look at their perspective, people don't seem to want to look at anything but their perspective and usually have a bs claim to get right back where it started

  • @qazssxedc
    @qazssxedc 4 роки тому +3

    This one is great Trace! Keep em coming

  • @khandanish2004
    @khandanish2004 4 роки тому +2

    How do you not have More Subscribers?? This was a very awesome video. Thank you!

  • @BhavZ307
    @BhavZ307 4 роки тому +2

    Please do more of these one off's. Super interesting in bite size chunks. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

  • @azizuladnan2957
    @azizuladnan2957 4 роки тому +43

    Me: "Reading the title"
    Also me: why does this sounds like an Among Us scenario for some reason...

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +5

      🤔

    • @vinayak6685
      @vinayak6685 4 роки тому +1

      @@TraceDominguez The argument in the game while finding the imposter

  • @MisterSlimee
    @MisterSlimee 4 роки тому +1

    This needs to be shown in schools

  • @0aya00aya0
    @0aya00aya0 4 роки тому

    Tom sent me here. I subscribed and binge watching your videos. You deserve way more subscribers.

  • @Sjgekko
    @Sjgekko 4 роки тому +3

    Okay, I love the deep dives but having one offs are awesome too! Makes it easier to share with friends.
    As for stache argument: It's the only facial hair you can have and still get a good seal for a mask (think firefighters and oilfield workers). It's the safe facial hair!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому

      Thanks for the tips! Safety facial hair ftw!

  • @sciencex7896
    @sciencex7896 4 роки тому +1

    Omg 😱 president trace?I vote for trace as president ❤️

  • @Dretnep
    @Dretnep 4 роки тому +3

    Would like to see more of these please! Lots of arguments/discussions could sill grow to be significantly more enjoyable, meaningful and constructive rather than counterproductive. That is if my own observations on the matter haven’t been tainted by to much biases of course. First video I’ve seen since I’ve subscribed, loved you on Dnews and am glad to see most all I’d say is admirable about you remains and seems to have flourished. Mustaches are warmer in colder times (I presume). Mustaches are itchy sometimes (I presume once more).

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      Hahaha they can be itchy, but worse they can get in your soup and get a smell 🤮

  • @tedkelly4447
    @tedkelly4447 4 роки тому

    Great argument Trace!
    We should also remember that different opinions and ideas are a positive characteristic of us fleshy souls.

  • @gonohugya
    @gonohugya 3 роки тому +1

    new here, love the hideen text and logic facts. keep up the good work

  • @teknophyle1
    @teknophyle1 4 роки тому +2

    Exactly the video I was looking for. Thanks Trace ♥️

  • @waterbottle556
    @waterbottle556 4 роки тому

    I've only watched 2 of your videos so far but I think they're really amazing! Keep it up

  • @dalanxd
    @dalanxd 4 роки тому +1

    This video is just amazing! I've just found you because of Tom Scott, by the way, thanks so much for the collab.
    And my argument is: A great mustache always sends a message. Mustache ++

  • @connormichalec
    @connormichalec 4 роки тому +4

    4:38 Thats suspiciously over-specific

  • @teknophyle1
    @teknophyle1 4 роки тому +2

    11:57 Can I make arguments for AND against mustache?
    For: Its a great accent feature for your face. Innumerable style options and can make you seem older or more distinguished.
    Against: Facial hair gets itchy, it can get in the way when you're eating, and facial hair can be unsanitary. Furthermore, not all mustaches look good. (I'm looking at you 70s)

  • @luis_discovery
    @luis_discovery 4 роки тому +1

    Very interesting video and topic!
    I read that another way of winning an argument is to make the other person say “yes” . Reason: it’s harder for a person to take back a “yes”. It affects our sense of honor.

  • @hauntedmasc
    @hauntedmasc 4 роки тому +4

    cialdini's 7th weapon of persuasion: that stache. and i am _convinced_
    social proof: everyone else seems to like your moustache, and i'm inclined to agree
    authority: when _you_ specifically have a moustache, i'm inclined to trust what you say more
    liking: i already liked you before, and i like you even more with the moustache
    reciprocity: i feel like i owe it to you to tell you that i love your moustache
    commitment & consistency: you worked hard for the stache and it shows; it seems to make you your best self
    scarcity: far too few are bold enough to embrace the moustache, and we're all the better for you doing so
    auhor's note: these are genuinely poor implementations of cialdini; do not replicate...

  • @jazminrodriguez9026
    @jazminrodriguez9026 4 роки тому +1

    Trace thank you for your content and continuously opening people's minds to new things hats off to you bud😍

  • @adammccarthybrown
    @adammccarthybrown 4 роки тому +1

    Love the ‘stache! Please give us more one offs!

  • @iamdigitalanmol
    @iamdigitalanmol 4 роки тому +1

    Trace!!!! I missed your voice 😭. I followed you on D news in 2013/14. It was my first ever subscribed channel. I noticed you were off seeker and seeker plus and has to search you. You are awesome. You explain things in the way I love ❤️.
    Have a great day !!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      Welcome back!!! 🤍🖤💜💙💚🧡❤️

  • @stormboss57
    @stormboss57 4 роки тому +6

    I am getting Eddi Mercury vibes from the stash.

  • @Mallory-Malkovich
    @Mallory-Malkovich 4 роки тому +1

    This was great, and I like the shorter, punchier style of video.
    Also the mustache has a very Doc Holiday vibe, which is always a good thing.

  • @matthewjones4647
    @matthewjones4647 4 роки тому +1

    Taking your advice.... so WHY did you go with the stache? Great video, really interesting topic. I already do argue with people by asking them questions a lot, but it's interesting to learn about why it works so well psychologically.

  • @trevsweb
    @trevsweb 4 роки тому

    this channel is amazing. Subbed. Thanks Tom Scott :)

  • @arv1ndgr
    @arv1ndgr 4 роки тому +1

    Your One-offs are so good👍

  • @B00s3
    @B00s3 4 роки тому +1

    Great Video, I love your one offs, but I wouldn't want to lose your series. You know, if the topic can be made into a series. A mix of one-offs and series, I'm in no matter what.
    As for the mustache, you actually pull it off nicely. It grew in nice and full, I also think the five o'clock shadow/beard stubble compliments the full 'stache nicely.

  • @captindo
    @captindo 4 роки тому +12

    Wish I could grow a stash like that dude, must be some decent beard oil.

  • @MattCynner
    @MattCynner 4 роки тому +1

    Great Video. Yes more like this would be good.

  • @MegaBCAD
    @MegaBCAD 4 роки тому +1

    This is a tactic I have used for many years with great success and I think maby 70% of the time they defeat themselves in the debate plus you never make fool of yourself trying to. Talk about stuff you not sure on

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому

      All ya gotta do is ask questions and a flimsy argument falls apart 👏👏👏👏

  • @dtstarkid
    @dtstarkid Місяць тому

    Great video!

  • @Sound_Tech
    @Sound_Tech 4 роки тому

    I would actually watch presidential debates if they actually debated like this rather than screaming over eachother.

  • @BertSingels
    @BertSingels 4 роки тому +1

    The 'stache' is Awesome 😄

  • @12jalbrandao
    @12jalbrandao 4 роки тому +1

    Very nice!

  • @neomamuro
    @neomamuro 4 роки тому +2

    I'd like to argue about the facial decor, Trace. But it seems I mustache you a question first, otherwise, things might get hairy.

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      👏👏👏👏 well done you're the GOATee

  • @ItsSheddyBear
    @ItsSheddyBear 4 роки тому +5

    I think this is great, but also should come with a knowledge of logical fallacies to avoid logically bad arguments

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +2

      I think that might be a separate video, but I'm open to the _argument_ hahah
      Seriously though, asking questions, listening, responding with empathy should help to talk around any logical fallacy because you'd both sense the holes in any of the arguments presented. (hopefully!)

  • @jonathandevries2828
    @jonathandevries2828 2 роки тому +1

    I only like to use towels once...i know where that towel's been so it feels gross to me to reuse it!

  • @jessiebullock
    @jessiebullock 4 роки тому +4

    Very well dressed extremely handsome people. 🤣😂🤪
    I love it!

  • @cstiger4
    @cstiger4 4 роки тому

    Awesome video! really helpful. Why did only 9263 watch this?

  • @Insanityhead
    @Insanityhead 3 роки тому

    LOL ❤️sooooo funny + cute! love yah trace😁

  • @TaylorSchumacher255
    @TaylorSchumacher255 4 роки тому

    This is really good content

  • @norbat1
    @norbat1 4 роки тому +3

    Wait, did this guy just say I have a meatball brain? 🤔

  • @GetLostwithBrooks
    @GetLostwithBrooks 4 роки тому +2

    The mustache plays

  • @talideon
    @talideon 4 роки тому +1

    I mean, I think the 'stache speaks for itself!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      👨🏻👨🏻👨🏻👨🏻👨🏻👨🏻

  • @twothreebravo
    @twothreebravo 4 роки тому +1

    It's not taxes that are too damn High. It's the rent that's too damn high.

  • @Momohhhhhh
    @Momohhhhhh 4 роки тому +1

    With how vitriolic political conversation has gotten, deciding who we vote for has felt like less and less of a central process recently...
    Also, perhaps the most valuable thing to emphasize is that you shouldn't be applying these techniques just because your goal is to win -- as you say,
    an argument or discussion isn't a war. You should be just as prepared to be convinced as you are to convince someone else. We should also be aware
    that social pressure to think the same way as our peers affects us just as much as it affects "them," whoever "they" may be. It's all too easy to
    scoff at mobs of people who disagree with us as being unable to think for themselves, while falling into the same pitfalls ourselves without ever
    realizing it.

  • @victormartinalvarez
    @victormartinalvarez 4 роки тому

    Do more of this!

  • @JonesP77
    @JonesP77 4 роки тому +1

    Really nice beard that you got there Trace.
    Little Question: Is this called "schnauzer" in englisch?
    Because in german its also called "schnauzer" but im not sure about the english word for it.

  • @Joso997
    @Joso997 4 роки тому +8

    Bold of you to assume we have friends. :|

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +6

      I'm sure you do, maybe you just haven't met them yet ;)

  • @WeLiveWeDie
    @WeLiveWeDie 4 роки тому +1

    Great video. I've been wondering what happened to dnews

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      DNews was bought by another company called Group Nine, and they rebranded it to Seeker -- I was the producer and host for a while, then left based on burnout and a difference in creative. Now, here I am!

    • @WeLiveWeDie
      @WeLiveWeDie 4 роки тому

      @@TraceDominguez yay! I love listening to these interesting topics!!!

  • @tem3607
    @tem3607 4 роки тому

    Could you make a video on persuasion? Or have you already?

  • @dablitter5719
    @dablitter5719 4 роки тому

    8:16 that took a dark turn very quickly

  • @tinycrimester
    @tinycrimester Рік тому

    tomato, burrata and basil is pretty bomb, ngl

  • @diederikvandedijk
    @diederikvandedijk 4 роки тому

    (10:23) Why did you make it look like you said 'positivity' and 'some of these' at the same time?

  • @bharatigiri7609
    @bharatigiri7609 4 роки тому +2

    Oh no, your voice is so persuasive.

  • @TheSimArchitect
    @TheSimArchitect 4 роки тому +1

    🎃 Happy Halloween! 🎃
    Moustache is nice. Maybe try to shave the stubble to go with it. A boxy flattop haircut would suit you very well and give you a very distinguished look if you have the courage to go for it 🤩

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому

      I’m not into the cop cut, but I hear you!

  • @GuanoLad
    @GuanoLad 4 роки тому +3

    Both sides have to listen to progress the conversation. That seems to be the sticking point. I definitely try to listen, and be calm and clear with my arguments, but when I get the response that is the equivalent of throwing a toy out of the playpen or stomping to their room and slamming the door, it's disappointing. That isn't a win on my part if they refuse to listen to me, when I have made the effort to listen to them.
    I find I am most influenced by appeals to emotion, sometimes anger, usually empathy. I have often been won over that way, though sometimes also incensed by something that, after further evidence later comes to light, I had been convinced by to be on the wrong side of. I try to be more circumspect now, wait for more info before rushing to judgement, but we all do love to flock to a righteous cause.

  • @ninjanerdstudent6937
    @ninjanerdstudent6937 4 роки тому +4

    The stache creeps me out.

  • @Insanityhead
    @Insanityhead 3 роки тому +1

    Pepperoni 🍕 pizza😄 yay!

  • @sciencex7896
    @sciencex7896 4 роки тому +1

    Please be president 😢 🐈 purr purr “purr-esident “

  • @FelipeTellez
    @FelipeTellez 4 роки тому +1

    video idea: Scientifically determine if hotdogs are sandwiches with Michael from Vsauce. 2 cool peeps in the same room =)

  • @littleghost6102
    @littleghost6102 4 роки тому

    mustache good because yes

  • @davidcampos1463
    @davidcampos1463 4 роки тому +1

    Mustache: yes, no, maybe.

  • @thomassynths
    @thomassynths 4 роки тому +2

    FWIW prisoners of war and losers are not necessarily disjoint adjectives. Central processing here!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      I mean, calling military volunteers losers is pretty uncouth in the united states no matter their record

  • @c4715
    @c4715 4 роки тому

    I thought hotdogs were sausages.

  • @spalexan
    @spalexan 4 роки тому +1

    Socratic questioning!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому

      Indeed! But instead of antagonistic, empathetic ;)

  • @prisonss
    @prisonss 4 роки тому +2

    Happy Halloween 👻 also for the record ....I have a ginger wife and even after this episode , I will continue to lose every argument with her!!!!!!!

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +1

      bahahahaha happy wife happy life?

    • @prisonss
      @prisonss 4 роки тому +1

      @@TraceDominguez happy wife skint husband 🥰

  • @scatteredvideos1
    @scatteredvideos1 4 роки тому

    Man I miss the good Dnews

  • @cheerfuldoomedclub
    @cheerfuldoomedclub 4 роки тому

    Are moustache a type of eyebrows?

  • @Rabbit-the-One
    @Rabbit-the-One 4 роки тому +1

    No shave November?

  • @SinanAkkoyun
    @SinanAkkoyun 4 роки тому

    I give you a tipp, put "WIN EVERY ARGUMENT" into your thumbnail!

    • @SinanAkkoyun
      @SinanAkkoyun 4 роки тому

      Many people (sadly) including me just look at the thumbnails, yours was inconclusive on its own :)

  • @MongoosePreservationSociety
    @MongoosePreservationSociety 4 роки тому +1

    Yes more this

  • @BrianBakerCA
    @BrianBakerCA 4 роки тому

    Street epistemology is so good! For anyone interested in learning more about this method of having a conversation check out Anthony Magnabosco

  • @GameNOWRoom
    @GameNOWRoom 4 роки тому

    Can someone summarize the video?

  • @Ersa0431
    @Ersa0431 4 роки тому

    Why do you have a moustache?

  • @neillaw
    @neillaw 5 місяців тому

    Ask yourself why you feel you need to win, win what? 🤔

  • @PoppyCorn144
    @PoppyCorn144 4 роки тому

    I sense you’re about to get a huge uptick in subs - you’re funny, informative and endorsed by someone influential I like (Tom Scott).
    Currently 66.6k.

  • @maxm.7669
    @maxm.7669 4 роки тому

    I am the 999 like😅

  • @sraldleif
    @sraldleif 4 роки тому +1

    Trace 2024

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому

      Ha! For what office?

    • @sraldleif
      @sraldleif 4 роки тому

      @@TraceDominguez My plan was to find something obscure and make a joke out of it, but I ended up falling down a rabbit hole and now I know way too much about the Tea Importation Act of 1897 🤷‍♂️
      Did you know the FDA used to employ a board of people who's job it was to taste test tea all day? Someone should have let my grandma know.

  • @tramsgar
    @tramsgar 4 роки тому +1

    sry stopped listening after "have a beer"

  • @geraldd500
    @geraldd500 4 роки тому

    My stance on mustache is I don't like them
    They are difficult to maintain and more disgusting than going without.
    Not only that I can't grow a good looking mustache either

  • @-Slinger-
    @-Slinger- 4 роки тому +2

    Why do you think that mustache is a good look for you?

    • @TraceDominguez
      @TraceDominguez  4 роки тому +2

      I wasn't sure, but I ended up not going with it

    • @-Slinger-
      @-Slinger- 4 роки тому

      @@TraceDominguez Glad we could have this debate 😜
      But seriously, unless you get a tattoo of a swastika or something similarly horrid I'll love you just the same.
      Which is platonically. 😘
      PS Unless the swastika is the indian one which has nothing to do with nazis, but you get the point.

  • @bjarki_rafn
    @bjarki_rafn 4 роки тому +1

    .