I’ve listened to so many of Gabor’s videos and teachings… I want to take his compassionate inquiry course someday. The body language between the two of them says a lot. I’ve never seen Gabor with his arms crossed and clenched across his chest, like he’s trying to physically hold back from taking over the conversation but instead allowing Daniel to express himself. Very, very interesting. I’m trying to understand my relationship with my son right now, and there’s so much behind all of it. Thank you Gabor for all of your work and being so vulnerable with your relationships at home. It helps knowing that we are all a works in progress. 💙
I agree with you. Gabor was holding back. However, this was the first time I saw him smile in all the videos I’ve watched. I also noticed that Daniel smiled when his father talked about his brilliance but Gabor did not stay there. He continued with the point he was making. I imagined myself commenting on it if I were physically present at the workshop. I wonder how Daniel felt when his father went on to finish his point instead of staying with something that I presume he wanted to hear and more deeply experience.
The Matés are right. Who I thought I was was not the real me. From them, I have learned to go into the emotions and feelings that I had suppressed when I was a young, vulnerable child. Now I can “get out of my head”, and I go inside myself to find the real feelings in my body. I can now identify my fears and anxieties and where they came from and how they have driven my ADHD and workaholism and my dysfunctional relationships. I am finally finding the real me and it’s not all the letters behind my name. 😂 Thanks so much for sharing your work! 🙏💕
I'm so grateful for Gabor saying, children really do have feelings because of how their parents behave towards them. Seems like a huge burden of responsibility I can put down now. I'm going to hold onto this one sentence of validation!
Blessed be Dr Mate, His beloved wife, Daniel,Aaron,and Hanna ,because with out the one there’s not the many; and with out the many there’s not the one!!!! Blessings and Gratitude for all of them ❤🙏⭐️😊🔐
"I'm the broken project, he's the complete work, I'm the broken project that he has to fix." Wow! Exactly on point with my mother's relationship towards me with regards to how I 'must be' a (gentle)man.
So so brave to be able to get to a point in a child parent relationship and be this vulnerable and speak with such candor and yet love one another and work together. And i think ive just descovered a working theory i have towards my own loved ones, if i say exactly what i think of you, you will not be able to love me 🤔
I’m so grateful for this discussion, and grateful that Gabor and Daniel don’t have a perfect relationship. While I do certainly wish the best of resolution, harmony and peace for them, I find that the imperfections make them more credible and the discussion more real and relatable. I finally reached the acceptance and peace that my relationship with my parents is and will always be a micropercentage of the “harmony” that the Maté’s have. 😅
33:00 My reaction to Daniel’s perception was curiosity. I took what he said at face value. And though I’ve been a beneficiary of the Great Dr Gabor Maté, both of my parents are monsters with me and my siblings and brilliant outside the home. So, it just made me think, yeah Gabor is a flawed human being like everyone, and made tons of parenting mistakes. That said, Gabor strikes me as relatively humble and with time, a learner.
You came to your parents to watch over them much of the time, Daniel. I see you like this sometimes. They learned so many things from you. Thank you both gratefully for your videos together. ❤
I love these talks with Gabor and Daniel. The perspective they offer is like getting an essential life lesson that I’ve always thought should be a principle aspect of basic education. It would be a subject called something like Human Studies or How To Be Human. It’s more important than reading, writing or math.
Good evening Commune, Gabor and Daniel Super grateful for you two people. Gabor's lifelong work in particular has assisted me over this passing few years. Both personally famialially and professionally. My Dad very recently left our/my beautiful world, so truly grateful I was his daughter for fifty years of his life. Thank you Dad for being my Dad, will forever have and share your Love Wisdom and Wit. Again thank you for this today, too. 💜
His vid should be mandatory at every school in the world. Applicable to all singles. All couples partners ..... All human brain. Need to bring people out of emotion based lives. ❤
Obviously, props to them both for the clarity in articulating such a complex and not elaborated relationship. The mutual respect is real. Mad respect to Dr. Gabor, but I gotta give "flowers" to Daniel. Being the adult offspring in this dynamic is difficult in the adult relationship dynamic because of the stereotypical power hierarchy structure.
Ive just started watching this and its such a awesome, wholesome and admirable thing to do... no wonder dr Gabor Matè is such an amazing trauma therapist for me ❤❤❤❤❤ Cant wait to watch the whole thing ... hope my children and i can resolve our issues soon 😢
Bravo you two. Thanks. My reference point is neither all-encompassing nor sequential, but I've watched quite a few of these and the energy this time is different. Like something important is happening. I like it. My 2¢.
I sense your relationship is much like mine with my sister ( I was never close to my Mum), but with my sister, we are closer to each other than we are to our other siblings. Yet, there is definitely an undercurrent of combative resentment in the relationship. I sense this with you guys.
My sisters are combative, too, but deny it, so I opted out eventually. The older you get the more you love freedom is my experience. As a middle child you got used to it already so it is not that difficult. 😄
We don't get the children we want; we get the ones we need. We get the ones who are attracted to the style of relationship of conception. The longer I listen to people who exist above the neck the more I see myself and how most of us are missing the point. From my side, I strongly disagree with the idea that we don't choose our kids or parents. The attraction molecularly and spiritually is the same as any blind date situation or moving into a new neighbourhood. The reason we don't know it in the same way that we know a glass of water or the solidity of a stone is because we are limited to experience and know as human beings. We can only truly KNOW what we are equipped to perceive. I'm also now happy I didn't make it into the interview process! 😉 🙏😑
Enjoyed the discussion! I've always seen Gabor Mate as a mentor, and such a pleasure to see his son. Would just request refraining from the use of the B word in describing women as it is denigrating. I'm also being intentional in urging women to not refer to themselves or other women as such, since we need to be the positive change we want to see. ❤
“It’s Old Yeller time.” 😅 Daniel’s personality is so snarky, and even more so with Gabor at his side! 😅😅😅 I really appreciate this combination, and how they’re father and son, but in some ways they are soooo different! Daniel is so Gen X. 😅
21:00 I too have noticed how our interpersonal relationships are a microcosm of geopolitics. (Honor mentioned this at the start of the video.) The friend thinking that the problem can be resolved if the other person just simply didn’t exist anymore sounds quite familiar.
Wouldn't it be good if Gabor Mate's wife and daughter had talks like this same dialogue and tell it like it was and how they are wired. The beingness of the child would sound a lot more different than these guys opinions. They talk too distance from their experience especially from the baby's perspective whereas the females talk right staring in it, close by.
I would like to hear from his wife and daughter as well. They are very silent I've not seen or heard either of them ? They are a very beautiful family and I appreciate all they give to us and the world. ❤
observing my surroundings and hearing testimonies here, I feel the root of all children suffering is not 'Being' enough and the root cause of all adults is not 'Doing' enough for their children; the latter however emerges from that lack of not being enough at the base, which then is tried to be overcome by doing! The conflict is between doing and being in the end of the day 🙏🏽🌺
Wow, yes, I see Daniel tries to be grounded, but his relationship with Gabor is still stuck in his head, where he can still be easily hurt by what Gabor says. Gabor can say things in a way that Daniel can feel criticised. The real reactions that happen to us were grounded in our own vulnerabilities as a young child. We grew up suppressing a lot of sadness, fear and anger. Even though we grow up, these automatic reactions can still plague us. Only by going inside myself, to feel the emotions i didn’t learn to handle as a vulnerable child, have I learned to become my true self. I am not my accomplishments nor the letters after my name. I have finally become a real human being complete with all my own fears, anxieties, anger, joy and beautiful moments. I have learned that no emotion lasts a long time, as long as I acknowledge it and let it pass through me like animals naturally do. Thank you, messieurs Maté!
The sons take on an infant as an “initiate of being” and the “parent is a master” is missing what “being” is entirely. Children are masters in being. Then they are socialized out of it. This conversation stayed very intellectual and it could have taken a more beautiful spiritual view.
I was just about to say the same. He starts analyzing unfortunately, immediately. An open mind and soft heart might remedy this awkwardness and there would be growth. Projecting is not polite. I keep hoping the listening skills improve and call him to Wait a beet to feel into what his father says, and then respond there. Okay but this is a compelling process I’m very respectful of. Thanks to them I’m learning a lot about the dynamics with my mom.
Personally i am very curious on listening to Dr Mates wife and daughter's experience and thoghts on growing up and the impact it has had on their lives.. i have followed Dr Mate for a while and learnt much but through my own experience these are still rather academic, to much justification and still needing much words to the experience of being.
An inutero sea creature suddenly becomes human?? I never saw it like that and I never will. My son is now 18 and we dont have problems. Never have really. I knew what I was doing and I knew his inherent worth.
Daniel Mate gibt zum Ausdruck, was er gegenüber seinem Vater empfindet und Gabor Mate gibt zum Ausdruck, wie er seinen Sohn erlebt. Genau so nehme ich diese Vater Sohn Beziehung wahr. Welche Befreiung ist da möglich? Acceptance?
You say we don't choose to be born or which parents to be born through but that's probably not the case. Without knowledge of our pre-incarnate or extra-incarnate consciousness, assumptions are baseless. NDEs are worth studying to glean a broader view.
The view of the budhist explains a lot this... go listen to some darmah talks... they talk alot of about being even before birth... we are more than our current birth time in our current existence...
I’ve listened to so many of Gabor’s videos and teachings… I want to take his compassionate inquiry course someday. The body language between the two of them says a lot. I’ve never seen Gabor with his arms crossed and clenched across his chest, like he’s trying to physically hold back from taking over the conversation but instead allowing Daniel to express himself. Very, very interesting. I’m trying to understand my relationship with my son right now, and there’s so much behind all of it. Thank you Gabor for all of your work and being so vulnerable with your relationships at home. It helps knowing that we are all a works in progress. 💙
I agree with you. Gabor was holding back. However, this was the first time I saw him smile in all the videos I’ve watched. I also noticed that Daniel smiled when his father talked about his brilliance but Gabor did not stay there. He continued with the point he was making. I imagined myself commenting on it if I were physically present at the workshop. I wonder how Daniel felt when his father went on to finish his point instead of staying with something that I presume he wanted to hear and more deeply experience.
Gabor is worldwide treasure. Thank you.
The Matés are right. Who I thought I was was not the real me. From them, I have learned to go into the emotions and feelings that I had suppressed when I was a young, vulnerable child. Now I can “get out of my head”, and I go inside myself to find the real feelings in my body. I can now identify my fears and anxieties and where they came from and how they have driven my ADHD and workaholism and my dysfunctional relationships. I am finally finding the real me and it’s not all the letters behind my name. 😂 Thanks so much for sharing your work! 🙏💕
Nicely put😊 I can relate!
Exactly!
I'm so grateful for Gabor saying, children really do have feelings because of how their parents behave towards them.
Seems like a huge burden of responsibility I can put down now. I'm going to hold onto this one sentence of validation!
Blessed be Dr Mate, His beloved wife, Daniel,Aaron,and Hanna ,because with out the one there’s not the many; and with out the many there’s not the one!!!! Blessings and Gratitude for all of them ❤🙏⭐️😊🔐
"I'm the broken project, he's the complete work, I'm the broken project that he has to fix."
Wow! Exactly on point with my mother's relationship towards me with regards to how I 'must be' a (gentle)man.
În the last 20 i don't go to church ; this hour here is the churh i need .
Love you 💜
So so brave to be able to get to a point in a child parent relationship and be this vulnerable and speak with such candor and yet love one another and work together.
And i think ive just descovered a working theory i have towards my own loved ones, if i say exactly what i think of you, you will not be able to love me 🤔
I’m so grateful for this discussion, and grateful that Gabor and Daniel don’t have a perfect relationship. While I do certainly wish the best of resolution, harmony and peace for them, I find that the imperfections make them more credible and the discussion more real and relatable. I finally reached the acceptance and peace that my relationship with my parents is and will always be a micropercentage of the “harmony” that the Maté’s have. 😅
33:00 My reaction to Daniel’s perception was curiosity. I took what he said at face value. And though I’ve been a beneficiary of the Great Dr Gabor Maté, both of my parents are monsters with me and my siblings and brilliant outside the home. So, it just made me think, yeah Gabor is a flawed human being like everyone, and made tons of parenting mistakes. That said, Gabor strikes me as relatively humble and with time, a learner.
Your bodies speak loudly behind the intellect! I so appreciate your work together! Thank you!
You came to your parents to watch over them much of the time, Daniel. I see you like this sometimes. They learned so many things from you. Thank you both gratefully for your videos together. ❤
it looks so peacefull when humans feel seen and heard. how clear the mind becomes when you are not crippled by judgement and the urge to please. ❤
I love these talks with Gabor and Daniel. The perspective they offer is like getting an essential life lesson that I’ve always thought should be a principle aspect of basic education. It would be a subject called something like Human Studies or How To Be Human. It’s more important than reading, writing or math.
Good evening Commune, Gabor and Daniel
Super grateful for you two people.
Gabor's lifelong work in particular has assisted me over this passing few years. Both personally famialially and professionally.
My Dad very recently left our/my beautiful world, so truly grateful I was his daughter for fifty years of his life. Thank you Dad for being my Dad, will forever have and share your Love Wisdom and Wit.
Again thank you for this today, too.
💜
This is helpful and informative as long as your parents are not NPD
Dealing with an issue in the other is usually, if not always, in reality, dealing with an issue within oneself.
The only issue is to not leave perpetrators behind in time. Ok, children have no choice.
This was so incredibly vulnerable of you two. I only hope one day to get to this point with my own mother.
His vid should be mandatory at every school in the world. Applicable to all singles. All couples partners ..... All human brain. Need to bring people out of emotion based lives. ❤
Obviously, props to them both for the clarity in articulating such a complex and not elaborated relationship. The mutual respect is real. Mad respect to Dr. Gabor, but I gotta give "flowers" to Daniel. Being the adult offspring in this dynamic is difficult in the adult relationship dynamic because of the stereotypical power hierarchy structure.
Ive just started watching this and its such a awesome, wholesome and admirable thing to do... no wonder dr Gabor Matè is such an amazing trauma therapist for me ❤❤❤❤❤
Cant wait to watch the whole thing ... hope my children and i can resolve our issues soon 😢
Thanks father and son... And all the team and people who were there. Thank you very much! I really appreciate this conversation!
The spirituality aspect and how that aspect is a huge part of coming into this life and being here and our relationships, is a huge part
Emotional honesty is heroic.
Bravo you two. Thanks. My reference point is neither all-encompassing nor sequential, but I've watched quite a few of these and the energy this time is different. Like something important is happening. I like it. My 2¢.
Thanks dr gabor 😢 you are blessing 🙏🏼
The 'working theory' theory has given me a lot of food for thought, thank you
But what are the four hidden dynamics in every relationship?? Did I miss that?
16.44@@jayjaydubful
I sense your relationship is much like mine with my sister ( I was never close to my Mum), but with my sister, we are closer to each other than we are to our other siblings. Yet, there is definitely an undercurrent of combative resentment in the relationship. I sense this with you guys.
My sisters are combative, too, but deny it, so I opted out eventually. The older you get the more you love freedom is my experience. As a middle child you got used to it already so it is not that difficult. 😄
We don't get the children we want; we get the ones we need.
We get the ones who are attracted to the style of relationship of conception.
The longer I listen to people who exist above the neck the more I see myself and how most of us are missing the point.
From my side, I strongly disagree with the idea that we don't choose our kids or parents. The attraction molecularly and spiritually is the same as any blind date situation or moving into a new neighbourhood.
The reason we don't know it in the same way that we know a glass of water or the solidity of a stone is because we are limited to experience and know as human beings.
We can only truly KNOW what we are equipped to perceive.
I'm also now happy I didn't make it into the interview process! 😉
🙏😑
Enjoyed the discussion! I've always seen Gabor Mate as a mentor, and such a pleasure to see his son.
Would just request refraining from the use of the B word in describing women as it is denigrating. I'm also being intentional in urging women to not refer to themselves or other women as such, since we need to be the positive change we want to see. ❤
And yet when I look at a baby I see the being 💛
It's all there.
Yes. My children taught me about being, before they were socialized and developed self awareness and self consciousness.
Thanks you for this conversation of vulnerability & insight!🙏🏻
You can't imagine how refreshing must bé to deal with adult parents 🙋
“We’ve come this far, we might as well drive over the cliff.” 😅😅
An amazing brilliant and helpful conversation!! Thank you so much for posting❤
“It’s Old Yeller time.” 😅
Daniel’s personality is so snarky, and even more so with Gabor at his side! 😅😅😅 I really appreciate this combination, and how they’re father and son, but in some ways they are soooo different! Daniel is so Gen X. 😅
I have a sense that where there is an old wound, there is a default working theory that easily hijacks the present relationship.
interesting
Spot on and proven.
what a treat
21:00 I too have noticed how our interpersonal relationships are a microcosm of geopolitics. (Honor mentioned this at the start of the video.) The friend thinking that the problem can be resolved if the other person just simply didn’t exist anymore sounds quite familiar.
What about the parent not liking the child that’s just been born?
Both men are great, but Gabor is just wonderful.
We do not make choices. Choices happened. Thoughts happened.
The cobbler's children have no shoes
Wouldn't it be good if Gabor Mate's wife and daughter had talks like this same dialogue and tell it like it was and how they are wired. The beingness of the child would sound a lot more different than these guys opinions. They talk too distance from their experience especially from the baby's perspective whereas the females talk right staring in it, close by.
I would like to hear from his wife and daughter as well. They are very silent I've not seen or heard either of them ? They are a very beautiful family and I appreciate all they give to us and the world. ❤
observing my surroundings and hearing testimonies here, I feel the root of all children suffering is not 'Being' enough and the root cause of all adults is not 'Doing' enough for their children; the latter however emerges from that lack of not being enough at the base, which then is tried to be overcome by doing! The conflict is between doing and being in the end of the day 🙏🏽🌺
Why don't you write your own book and go on a speaking tour, doing it YOU way??
@@deborahredekop7107
@@deborahredekop7107
I sure want to hear more on this
Is there a reason this is so short
Is tgere more to to find??!
It is very helpful~~~~~
It's a teaser. They want you to sign up for their pay-for seminar.
Very interesting 🤔 Thank you Gentlemen 👏
Hi, which books do you suggest to read in order to understand working theories? or a scientist, an author, a psychologist to follow?
I m so lost .... Don't know where mi and where do go 😔😔😔 one human can save me is dr Gabour. Wish can talk and understand myself 🙏🏼
Thank you🫂
Wow, yes, I see Daniel tries to be grounded, but his relationship with Gabor is still stuck in his head, where he can still be easily hurt by what Gabor says. Gabor can say things in a way that Daniel can feel criticised. The real reactions that happen to us were grounded in our own vulnerabilities as a young child. We grew up suppressing a lot of sadness, fear and anger. Even though we grow up, these automatic reactions can still plague us.
Only by going inside myself, to feel the emotions i didn’t learn to handle as a vulnerable child, have I learned to become my true self. I am not my accomplishments nor the letters after my name. I have finally become a real human being complete with all my own fears, anxieties, anger, joy and beautiful moments. I have learned that no emotion lasts a long time, as long as I acknowledge it and let it pass through me like animals naturally do.
Thank you, messieurs Maté!
Working theory. Write a book about this, please!
I guess there already is one. Great concept!
The sons take on an infant as an “initiate of being” and the “parent is a master” is missing what “being” is entirely.
Children are masters in being. Then they are socialized out of it.
This conversation stayed very intellectual and it could have taken a more beautiful spiritual view.
If someone ask one wish I will be to talk dr Gabour for 5 min 😢😢😢😢
It seems like Dr.Gabor is still experiencing alot of guilt about his son.
What's missing in this discussion is Dr. Gabor Mate's childhood traumas of wartime reality.
A very crucial point for sure.
What kind of tension is rippling between them? So uneasy listening to the son who seems to be an aggressive non listener.
I was just about to say the same. He starts analyzing unfortunately, immediately. An open mind and soft heart might remedy this awkwardness and there would be growth. Projecting is not polite. I keep hoping the listening skills improve and call him to Wait a beet to feel into what his father says, and then respond there. Okay but this is a compelling process I’m very respectful of. Thanks to them I’m learning a lot about the dynamics with my mom.
He looks physically uncomfortable, too, like his clothes itch and the chair doesn't suit him.
Maybe it is a matter of perspective.
Personally i am very curious on listening to Dr Mates wife and daughter's experience and thoghts on growing up and the impact it has had on their lives.. i have followed Dr Mate for a while and learnt much but through my own experience these are still rather academic, to much justification and still needing much words to the experience of being.
An inutero sea creature suddenly becomes human??
I never saw it like that and I never will. My son is now 18 and we dont have problems. Never have really. I knew what I was doing and I knew his inherent worth.
I actually have parented my very damaged parent
Yeah me too, and I continue to have to do this to keep my kids safe
Same here🖐️😉
I would argue at birth we r closer to being than adulthood
Great perspective. Agreed
38:00 I wonder if that’s her daughter sitting next to her. I totally get the daughter’s disposition. 😅 Been there . 😅😅
Daniel Mate gibt zum Ausdruck, was er gegenüber seinem Vater empfindet und Gabor Mate gibt zum Ausdruck, wie er seinen Sohn erlebt. Genau so nehme ich diese Vater Sohn Beziehung wahr. Welche Befreiung ist da möglich? Acceptance?
9:18 Did Gabor just call Daniel “John” ? Is that a nickname or is something else happening?
I heard that too 🤔
You say we don't choose to be born or which parents to be born through but that's probably not the case. Without knowledge of our pre-incarnate or extra-incarnate consciousness, assumptions are baseless.
NDEs are worth studying to glean a broader view.
I should have had a child
Actually we do choose our parents. Read some Michael Newton.
Don't make theories always a fact.
@oOIIIMIIIOo Its not a theory
@@rheinhartsilvento2576 🙄
💛💜
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Oh, that poor redhead mother... You just see her pain.
Gabor looks soooooo unhappy,traumatised or....numb 😢
Not to me. He looks like a lucid, intelligent, 80 year old, workaholic, Holocaust survivor. 🤷
The view of the budhist explains a lot this... go listen to some darmah talks... they talk alot of about being even before birth... we are more than our current birth time in our current existence...
Two of my favourite men in this world 🩵