MARRIED TO A FRENCHMAN I 5 Things That Drive Me Crazy!
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
- Alright, round two for everything about dating in France or being married in France! I created a video last month about the very annoying American things I still do that make my French husband cringe a little bit. I got a lot of feedback asking me to do the american one, so here it is, my version of "you know you're living witb a Frenchman" aka 5 things my French husband does that drives me a little nuts! All of them are related to the fact that we don't have the same culture growing up and I'm sure some of you can relate if you are dating a frenchman or married to one of them. Hope you love some of this american vs french dating content and i'll catch you in the comments!
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Check out some of my other culture shock videos!
USA Culture Shocks: • USA CULTURE SHOCKS | W...
The French Do It Better: • REVERSE CULTURE SHOCKS...
French Culture Shocks: • FRENCH CULTURE SHOCKS ...
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❤ Hop on board to the hot mess express that is Kate! I’m a pizza loving, wine guzzling American thriving in Paris. Eh… scratch the thriving part and put surviving. I’ve got an endless love/hate relationship with France, that drives me to do unexplainable things. If you like pizza recommendations and some expat excitement, you’re in the right place. ✌Subscribe for new videos every week!
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I sell Crêpes in Ireland and I have a little meme that says : This is Bill, Bill is French, Bill likes to complain, Bill is normal"
😅😅😅
Do you realize that you are being quite French by complaining about all these disagreements? Vive la France!
Haha de la part d'un grincheux en plus!
T'as le nom qui colle avec les stéréotypes français, c'est parfait.
The French often make a comparison with Germans by saying that, in Germany, anything that isn't distinctly authorized is forbidden, as in France, anything that is not distinctly forbidden is authorized.
haha !! In french we say : "les lois sont faites pour être contournées". That means that"laws are made to be broken". When we have a rule we often try to understand in which case we are not required to follow exactly the rules. And we love and are very happy when we find loopholes in a law. I understand that it could be exhausting, but for us, it's just fun! It's admitted if you don't penalize someone else.
Sorry for my english, I don't practice very often.
we have wxactly the same phrase in italian "fatta la legge, trovato l'inganno" more or less, once the law is made, the trick is found :)
That's how it should be, the law is, theretically, made for people not another way around, to follow it thoughtlessly. So, it's wise to reflect on its rightness.
@Sol Accursio Italians miss the reflecting part ;))
@@candytwiggytwist3506 you are probably very right... Guilty, your Honor! :D
Yes, you explained it right. On the other hand, there are parts of society when thinking about it in not admitted. The army, or social work (especially social work).
Just to help you out: French people like to comment on everything, we don't "consider it "complaining", that's why your husband forgot about it, because it didn't matter, it is just expressing his mind at the moment in a critical way... If you don't take it personally, as something that has to be fixed, you'll feel much better...
Je suis pas du tout d'accord ^^. Les français se plaignent effectivement constamment, et de tout, et ce n'est pas juste donner son avis, c'est vraiment râler en permanence, et principalement se plaindre du système français. Ce qui est évidemment difficile à comprendre pour des étrangers ou des français de l'étranger, qui vivent dans des pays où tout est beaucoup moins facile et beaucoup plus cher qu'en France. Et à force c'est usant d'entendre en permanence les français se plaindre du système très confortable dans lequel ils vivent.
@@FB6418 faut pas abuser non plus, oui en général on râle, mais on râle pas pour tout et on râle pas h24 non plus hein
Complètement d'accord, sebastian Marx , l'humoriste, à une approche similaire, c'est du sens critique plus ou moins constructif.
LOL! I'm the Frenchie in the relationship so I found this hilarious because it's so true! (Especially the car issue - but living so many years in Canada with no mass transit options outside of urban areas, I've become reluctantly resolved to long, long, destination road trips). Cheese is not up for discussion. Cheese is sacred. If anyone in the family objects, they are free to go outside! Cheese is the hill I will die on LOL! I'm with Robin on the rule-breaking too. Some rules are meant to be broken, especially if the rules are stupid and arbitrary. ha! ha! ha! All of this will change as we are in the process of moving to France. My Canadian husband is in for a few surprises. I can't wait!
Tu dois faire un video pour nous raconter son dépaysement
Fema Lism j'ai souris en lisant votre commentaire alors quelles sont les impressions de votre mari Canadien à propos de la France ?
Hi Kate, I hate to break it to you but the complaining thing never goes away 🤣 My dad is a Frenchie and he’s been living here in the US since he and my mom got married back in ‘87. This is STILL an argument they have on a weekly basis. It’s made my life rather entertaining though!
So true😂
Oh no…..
I'm with Robin again when it comes to cars. Being in a metal box either moving at a dangerous speed or helplessly stuck in traffic is not a soothing experience at all. From my perspective, if you are not feeling stress when driving, you're doing it wrong--it's an activity where one second of inattention may result in someone losing their life.
You described perfectly my feelings about the idea of driving - which is why I've never learned to, and never will : )
Vous pouvez rester cool et relax en conduisant, mais il faut toujours anticiper les éventuels problèmes et dangers, ce qui ne s'acquière que par l'expérience. Un passage piéton, un dos d'âne, savoir que les conducteurs précédents vont possiblement au moins ralentir, voire freiner. C'est possible de conduire correctement et sans stress excessif. Mais effectivement, comme Robin, après six à huit heures de route, je sature, il faut vraiment que je m'arrête quelques heures.
Exactly this.
@@tfjdfhozs3s849 J'ai jamais pu faire ça. Les contrôles angle mort m'ont évité 2 accidents. Mais particulièrement en ville, toujours sur le qui-vive, tous les contrôles, regarder partout, se méfier de tous, ne pas rater la couleur des feux, les positions des autres voitures au carrefour... c'est épuisant, stressant, et il y a toujours un truc que je finis par rater. Je ne suis pas doué pour ça du tout. Et même sans ça, le cul posé sur un siège pendant des heures, c'est au-delà de mes forces.
What is the price of petrol in your country, compared to Europe ?
I totally relate with you about the debate and complaining. I’m married to a French and it’s exhausting sometimes, I only want to have a nice meal and enjoy the weather 🍝 ☀️
😂😂😂
But how can you enjoy the meal and the weather with no debating...? I can't get it ^^. It is like eating the seasoning, but not the dish.
I can't disagree more ! *starts to complain*
No, seriously I understand, but yeah... It's really a part of the french culture. People in France really spent a lot of time in school to learn how to debate, it becomes a second nature... But don't forget you can also be direct and a little bit confrontational with a french. Just ask (politely) them to back down from time to time and I think they will mostly understand it as well. And if they don't, you can start to talk about the cultural difference, and try to make them understand not everyone need to argue about anything.
(Sorry for my poor english, I hope it stills make sens)
As a French I had a good laugh 😂 OK so 1 if you do not complain nobody will do it for you... Nothing to complain? What!! A shame! I will complain about the fact that there is nothing to complain about 😂 3 Debate well debate is linked to complaining as both needs to use your brain to find arguments and facts 😇 5 yep rules are not absolute, this is why we are the number 1 people about revolutions 😂
I’m American but I hate driving, and that’s why I love living in France 😂
Maybe they lied to you and you were always french ! You can totally pass as a french citizen from Guyane or Martinique.
road trip!! yes:). driving for hours, listening to music, looking at the scenery, snacking, conversations...what's not to love??
What is not to love? If with one friend and it is only for a hour, it is sufferable. But, for long trips... Well...The road. The car. Being sat all the time. Being enclosed in a box. The stench or motors. The feeling of metal and plastic all around you. The feeling of being cut from what makes you alive, somehow. It feels like withering away. The unability to relax at all. It is like you were itching somewhere but you were tied and couldn't scratch the itch. There is everything to hate about road trips. Especially.... for us, eating in a car is disgusting, it is not a pork feeder right? You would always be forbidden by your parents or friends from eating in their car. All the more so that those are unhealthy snacks. Parents who give so many snacks to their kids would be considered crappy parents in France. As an example, i was only allowed ONE little candy every once in a while (the end result is that even later on, i was never much into candies). If you are going to eat, need for a proper sat meal. As for conversations, since being stuck in a car is so depressing, conversations often turn to arguing. Finally, the music...omg... It is always about one person forcing his crappy music tastes on everyone else in the car. I was traumatized by this. I dread the family vacations where we had to drive. But i was forced to go with everyone until i was 15 and i finally could refuse to go. I have gotten rid of my car in 2008, and never regretted it. Lastly, it is perfectly healthy to complain :)
@@nox8730 exactly why I hate the car.
Hi Kate, I am french, married to an American, living in USA and I totally understand your husband 🤣🤣. I love stinky cheese, get so tired to jump in the car all the time, I complain when necessary, (although my husband says it's too much!) debates are fun, exciting and it's interesting to know people's opinions, (I miss it here, conversations can be boring).
It's also fun to go against the rules!!
I don't see what's the problem Kate, lol.
I always thought i was the only french like that.
On peut se plaindre et râler aux États Unis aussi mais il y a un code de l’étiquette qui gouverne quand l’on peut le faire. En général, on ne devrait pas donner des critiques ou de mauvaises opinions à qqn quand l’on ne les a pas demandées. Donc je crois que la différence principale est ça…
For rules breaking, I'am 100% agree. I mean, if a rule makes sense, I will follow it. But if I don't understand WHY this rule exists, I will break it. I don't know if it's my education, dna, or somethimg else, but I can't bear something that reduce my liberby without legit reasons ^^'
The problem is, so many rules are made for reasons that are very specific to a situation and it isn't feasible to disseminate the reason to every person on the planet. You not knowing the legit reason doesn't mean there isn't a legit reason.
Definitely true about the debate issue for sure! I have some French friends that are genuine friends and I appreciate their friendship. They are initially hard to get to know but they prove to be loyal and honest. They are brutally honest at times and yes, like to be the devil's advocate occasionally. However, a compliment in always sincere. I have only spent a month at a time in France but have been there several times. I generally do like the French and find them to be fundamentally kind but yes, I could do less with the negativity .
I think me and my bf complain equally but I had to learn not to take every negative statement so personally or seriously. The debating thing also gets me heated. French never back down and argue in a friendly way but never concede. Devils advocate thing drives me insane. Girl same!!! I guess I’m lucky we see eye to eye on cars and cheese
French people would complain less if people were respecting the rules. Not respecting the rules or complaining are an outlet, but in the end it feeds the phenomenon.
Man I'm with you on the complaining 😆. I often want to just tell my French partner to suck it up because I feel like he's whining about nothing. On other hand, we are opposite to you guys with the car and the debating. I've always loved to debate and play devil's advocate, to the point where I annoy people in both countries, him included. 😬But I don't think that's an American thing - it's just who I am. My family always said I should be a lawyer when I was growing up.
Hi Robin, I am married to a French woman and we have a son who was born in Paris and lived there until he was 7. Not all of your comments apply to my family but some do. Having been raised in the South I was trained to be super polite as in don’t complain about the food you are served at home. Both my wife and son complain constantly about the food, even if my wife prepared it. Sometimes it really gets on my nerves. Nothing is good enough only perfection will do. On the car issue road trips are out. I always enjoyed long drives but after an hour or so my wife starts yawning even in our beautiful national parks. St home she never wants to go to our favorite market because you have to drive to get there. Debating not so much as my wife doesn’t like conflict and even a simple disagreement bothers her. However this is related: constant criticism no matter what I do. All that said I love them both but there are cultural differences.
My English partner and i are the same as you in this. I grew up debating at the dinner table as a form of happy conversation, and come alive in a witty repartee whereas they came from a conflict less is conflict best . You find a balance haha
Oh yeah the rules...my ex American partner insisted to dump the plastic fork before going through the control gate at the airport. I'm like it is made of plastic! Of course I went through with no problems we were in Europe though.
I am cry laughing right now! I am married to a French-Canadian man and virtually everything IS a debate. Granted he has been living in Western Canada for almost 2 decades and it seems to have calmed him down but I gotta say, I almost spit out my morning coffee when you said "I didn't even see it coming!" Omg, girl, you're telling my story. Yes, the playing devil's advocate does get to be exhausting however, I've found myself (now married 16 yrs to him) starting to also form those perspectives when in debates/conversations/complaining sessions with the majority of my non-French friends/family. I feel you, I also do not feel that my opinion needs to be defended or scrutinized on everything.
Also, the rule following, or lack there of. Yes! Bruno and I also sit in the same divided camps as you and Robin. Drives me mad. Granted, now that our children are older and Dad must be an example, he does his best to only voice distaste when it's him and I alone.
Sounds like suffering for us french. All this is like depriving a cheetah from running in the wilds. Why are you making Bruno be a quiet cheetah??? Bruno ! Voice your opinions! :D
I'm with a french and I don't like the late dinner times. I've gotten used to it but I definitely prefer to eat earlier
I'm French and I hate the late dinner times as well! I've spent some time in the UK and I loved eating around 6.30/7 pm, so I kept the habits even now that I live in the South of France. But everytime I'm invited somewhere or if I have people over at my house, I need to adjust because my case is quite a unique one in France (most of my friends and family eat dinner around 8.30/ 9 pm)
The debating thing hit home. My dad (who is not even remotely French, has never been to France, and hasn't one iota of French ancestry) does this all the time, including being devil's advocate on the most inconsequential things. It gets SO tiresome. Can't we just relax and have un bon moment once in a while?
if your dad is not french then what was the point of your comment?... her video is about the french and their cultural norm to complain.
Oh my. Mon dieu? I don’t know French but I’ve been a keen observer of relationships. You recognizing these differences is brilliant! Rock on!
Great stuff Kate. So about the debating culture, maybe you can do a video talking about what is it in French culture that encourages that? Obviously school. But much more too? And contrast that to how Americans are raised. If there was a book on the subject I'd definitely buy it. Meanwhile give us the Frenchified version. S.V.P.
Historically speaking I'd say that since the enlightenment period, opposing and developping news ideas has always been a past-time of choice for the upper class society. But that's the case for most western europe (the UK and Germany are also very well known for their philophers during the same era).
So I think it mostly comes from our educational system. Starting from quite a young age (about 12) essays become step by step the main way to conduct exams in most subjets, apart from the hard sciency ones. At 12 you'll be ask to write a 10 lines on a given question or topic, for the end of high school exam, you'll be asked to write 5-8 pages. It comes down to debating, proposing and opposing ideas, putting facts into perspective etc.
France is also one of the very rare country (with Italy I think ?) where philosophy is a compulsory subject in High School, no matter which path (litterary/science/etc) you chose. There, you are formally taught to form and argue ideas, no matter if you agree or not, it's a very good practise and I guess people keep "practising" that after their whole lives. Debating is mostly seen as a game really. Until uncle Gérard drops at family dinner his racist views and then it's not a game anymore, it's war at the dinner table.
@@camillef9471 Agreed with that. I would add that debating became a way of criticizing, and criticizing is what make Revolutions. It is, to me, more than a mere game, it is necessary to protect democracy and reach further. Corporations want markets to be privatized, like the healthcare system. We all know what the disastrous system in the USA is, but even the Netherlands recently lost its public system, too. Macron wants to do the same, actually, he wants to make even the french diplomacy a private business... even though France had one of the best diplomatic network in the world. We need the debating culture to confront crap like that.
Invisible differences is also an interesting book
I love the french culture, I feel frenchized because my great grandfather was Fench, and this is so amazing!
As in your last video, it surprised me that although I was born and raised in the Midwest like you were, my French ancestry must be pretty strong 😂 I think the rule breaking is very much tied to the debate culture in France! I love a good debate (and was on the debate team in high school) and I am extremely good at finding loopholes in rules (very much a some rules were made to be broken kind of a girl)! For example, my son’s girlfriend is 4 weeks away from being 18. She and my son moved in with my parents as she is going to attend college in my hometown. I have been staying with my parents since December when my mom broke her hip and required surgery. She has Alzheimer’s and still needs more assistance than my dad can provide, so we are a few hours away from my son’s girlfriend’s parents. She got a job right away (she is a hard worker and I love her absolutely as much as my son does). Her job of course prefers to direct deposit wages but here in the US, until you are 18, you can’t open a bank account without a parent signing for you. That makes absolutely no sense to me because you are allowed to work and earn your own money at 16. There isn’t a bank with branches in both the town she is from and my hometown where she now lives and her mom can’t drive up here to sign for her. Therefore, she has to have a paper check mailed to her and she can only cash it at her workplace. Today, when she opened her check, the strong adhesive they use to seal it lifted a piece of the check that happened to contain 1 number of the account number the check is drawn from. She literally had that piece with her, her workplace cashier obviously knows her yet they refused to cash it because it was “altered”. They expected her to call their corporate accounting office herself and request that they reissue her check which would take a week’s turn around time. To me although technically that was the “rule” it was also lazy and absurd to me. I was already frustrated for her about the whole can’t open a bank account until 18 but can work at 16 rule which I can’t find a loophole in and when they wouldn’t cash her check because the automatic check reader couldn’t read the number and she was expected to go a week without her paycheck because it was the “rule”, my inner French woman surfaced quickly! I called the corporate office of the bank the check was drawn on (bypassing her employer all together since imo they were using “it’s the rules” to avoid finding a solution for her) explained the situation and that she had the piece that lifted off and politely (that is my Midwestern side) insisted that the bank honor her check since it was drawn from her employer’s account there and also politely requested that the corporate office call the local branch to explain why they needed to honor the check so I wouldn’t get a teller that used “the rules” to avoid helping her. In a half an hour the rules were bypassed and she had her money and I had the pleasure of knowing that by finding a way to break those pesky rules, I helped her learn how to politely cut through the rules people use just so they don’t have to figure out a solution to a problem. However, I am totally with you on the stinky cheese!!!!! If you can open it, you can have the courtesy of closing it so my American nose doesn’t have to smell it, and I won’t insist that the stinky cheeses not be allowed in the fridge. It’s a compromise!
Hi Kate, I could not miss the second opus, and I am not disappointed ^^
My wife is born in Wisconsin, maybe it's a local state of mind , but your struggles are so same.
Complaining/Debate:
Indeed, they are national sport, more for my generation, and probably more because I am from a left wing family, "Faire des plans sur la comète" is a way to complain / debate ... softly. Maybe it is tiring for "formatted brain" ... my son have a hard time at school, because teachers are challenging him to express his points, and he's not used to after 7 school years in US. Yes, it start at school, but in many families too. Something to know about not complaining / debating is that attitude is very badly considered; It is unterstand as "I am thinking and doing that way, and nothing can change my mind" what is considered as a BIG flaw. "In Rome do as Romans do". Ho, by the way : a debate is not a fight ...
Taking the car:
We are living in the country, so, we need a car to go anywhere : there is only 2 buses each direction a day, who's taking our son to go to school and back. Having a ride seems to be something very cultural in USA. It is a mystery for me, in my opinion, a car is necessary to go from point A to point B , period. The oil crisis makes my wife more aware of the price of a ride, It makes me laugh loud when I see the struggle of american customers because of current gas price in US, which is ridiculous in comparison with Europe, it creates big debate at home because I don't get why prices are increasing that much in USA, as a self sufficient oil producer ....
Cheese :
"Cheese is life, stinky cheese is heaven". French people are (still ) considered as dirty by americans, but french people are considering American people as "hygienists" by taking 3 showers a day : another point to debate about
what is better or worse, and it could be surprising ... Hope you enjoy french cheese, stinky or not. Many years ago, I made a "cheese meal" for friends of Colorado with fresh bread and wineS : the best way to have a nice debate evening, after 2 hours, they was almost french, criticizing Bush, Colorado State and Infrastructure.
Following rules :
I am from east of France, where people are more "germanic" , but my grandfather used to say that "traffic laws gives informations, not orders" and even if I am probably more respectful on laws than most of french, I consider also "laws as informations ( first)" in general. A rare point agreed and understood after all these years by my wife, but I am basically more respectful anyway.
Ready for a debate ? About weight of religion in american society for example ^^.
Robin is right about cheese without a doubt and about cars American gas guzzlers so bad for environment driving 5-6 hours for vacation fine but then doing 3 hour day trips every day sucks just a waste of time, there is so much in every area of France it is so unnecessary to drive hours to find something nice to see or do, with you a bit on debate it is not necessary on every issue but being able to disagree on politics and remain good friends is good, I hate the only good democrat / republican is a dead one type of attitude. I am in between with the complaining, constant complainers annoy me but so do overly positive people
I'm with your husband about debating. Your opinion is part of you, of what and who you are, and you have reasons to have THAT opinion. So it needs to be shared and defended, and even abandoned if the other person's reasons are convincing. It also makes you think about what brought you to have that opinion and check if it stands or not. So hooray for debate! I'm also with your husband in the "cheese affair". Stink??? No cheese stinks! It just smells of cheese (yummy!). There's an anecdote about a french poet (I forgot the name) that smelling a Camembert exclaimed "Oh, it smells like God's feet!" ...and I can't really disagree :)
Don't worry, even french people complain about people breaking the rules :)
And the ones breaking the rules say they break it because other break it, or because X, Y, Z.
Examples : - walk crossing when traffic light is red at night, no cars on a small street... - not respecting a speed limit because "it's too slow", making the local mayor even slower the speed limit, enhancing the sentiment even more " see! It's too slow. why even respecting this rule"
Ha3...thanks for posting and sharing your experiences. The cultural differences you mentioned are keypoints that I can resonate in my relationship and can relate to all 5..💗💗💗
Kate, girl!
If your hubby were not a rule breaker....he would NOT
have married
YOU
Amèricaine!😉
Traveling in cars is soothing and comforting. Listening to one’s favorite music, and eating favorite snacks while seeing the sights is fabulous! I’m a wild girl that loves following rules. I agree about the debating. My family is Argentine and they are the same about debating. It’s exhausting! You and your channel are great!
There's a Rick Steves episode in Paris where the lady he's with says that the fromagerie smells like, "the feet of the angels". LOL!! 🧀
I'm a rule follower, too. I like the UK because the love a good queue. When we were at Park Astrix, a bunch of teens kept skipping in line right in front of us and laughing in my face. It was infuriating!!! (This was 20 years ago). That would wear on me, for sure.
Have you read the Bonjour Effect? You confirm a lot of the cultural differences the authors write about in it. Great video! Thank you.
hahaha love it !
I think the debate thing is also a matter of personnality. My brother is totally like Robin and i remember growing up thinking exactly like you "can i just eat pasta in peace ?" 😅.
I totally relate to the car issue. I hate being in a car for more than 1 or 2 hours. I do long travels but only if we stay enough time there to relax (i'm NOT going 7 hours away only for a week-end), and i'm definitely not going to take my car more than a few minutes a day on vacations. Our country is so small (or yours is so big ;)) that driving 3 hours away can lead you to a totally different region. it's seems a bit odd to us to go on vacations in a specific region and to visit another one during the stay.
Wow.. I feel seen. Yes, culturally the french complain about everything, regularly. That creates tension between my french husband & I because I reserve complaints about things that TRULY upset me, not complain about seemingly unimportant things.
And the debating!! It also creates friction because they debate speaking over you because they need to get their point across before you. I thought it was just my husband being disrespectful by constantly interrupting me, but I noticed that his french friends & our french employers interrupt the same way. It's so irritating.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes through this because I didn't want to think it was a personality thing rather than a cultural difference. 😅
I guess I’m half like you and half like your husband. I love a good argument/debate. My wife is English and she would relate a lot of your frustrations about being married to an American. One of my life lessons learned: you can only change yourself.
You made me smile: So true about complaining, arguing and breaking rules :)
French here. I LOOOOVE complaigning. Always about light subjects. The things which bother me a lot or are really important, I tend to no really complaigned about.
Love some debates to. Don't like the car for to long. Loooove smelly cheese (but even if I like them and I'm ok with their smell on the table, I can't stand the smell they give to the fridge if you forget to close the lid of the box, so I'm carefull about that). I never break rules on the roads but sometimes I cheat on queues.
8:50 "someone died in my refrigerator" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 Best joke of the year !!! 🏆
Nice video nad really funny one also. As a french man, about debates, I believe we can "debate" alot because for us, frenchies, it is not that much deeply important or personnal. It is just like exchanges ideas, forget the thema fast, and switch to anything else with no special happiness or angriness about former "debate" (debate is strong word in french, it really shows a strong opposition, like political debate. Prefer ketchup or mustard is not a debate for instance, even if some might feel the need to tell one is better for them hahah) About stinky cheeses, yes they do exist, and obviously those are the one you smell in the cheesebox or in the fromagerie. the same way if there is only 1 noisy kid in the classroom you will only hear him/her xD Then I have to say most frenchies are no fond of the stinky smells, that's why most of us try to find a good cheesebox and close it. We also put the cheesebox outside just near the window so even if box is not perfectly closed, it's ok, stinky smell goes away outside (in a box to protect sacred cheese from animals to eat it. cats for example, I wonder if only french cats eat stinky cheeses) not closing the box is not a french thing (but have so stinky cheeses is definatelly so french of course haha)
Love these videos! First, where is your amazing green sweater from? I loved the tighter wrist cuffs. Could you do a series on what getting married to a Frenchie was like (like the actual wedding weekend)? Did you get married over there or the US? What did his friends think of him dating/marrying an American? Us Americans would think thats so neat and cool if a friend married a foreigner but do they feel the same way or whats that like?
As a french, it is only a guess, but... you have to remember that France is the most visited country in the world, evey year. 67M french, 81-84M visitors a year. Plus, most french people traveled somewhere in their life (it is a prerequisite in middle and high school). I went to Belgium, Italy (middle school), the UK (high school), and lived in South America and various northern African countries as a kid. We are always looking at the world outside. A foreigner is nothing special. If it were me, i would think of it as a potential hassle, because visiting my friend would become annoying if he were to live abroad at some point. The other point is language. I would probably have the foreigner speak his foreign language and exchange about differences in mindset. In short, foreigners are opportunities for interesting debating. But this is it.
I'm really glad I discovered this channel. This video made me smile quite a number of times.
I totally understand both sides, and see how this needs some compromises because everyone feels legit in their own way.
There is one thing though that drives me nuts, and that's bending the rules. France is very latin, and rules are made to be broken. I'm saying this as a frenchman, that irks me. Creativity does not come from systemic challenging, chaos does.
I am Canadian
Omg!! Minus the driving one I have the exact same issues with my French/Moroccan man. We also fight at times in the grocery store about what cheese is coming home with us as the stinker the better for him. Also the debate thing. At times I feel overwhelmed and confused as to how our light hearted conversation has turned into this never ending debate on something that is so trivial. It can be too much.
Matter of perspective. It probably became a good, lighthearted conversation for him the moment it turned into never ending debate to you. Personally, i can't suffer 'light hearted small talk' for more than 5/10 minutes before starting to feel genuinely depressed by it. I can only perk up and feel alive with some sort of deeper talk.
Cars vs trains / subways. Different countries of origin. America has a strong car culture, and the country is vast, too large for a train system. Most Americans enjoy car trips. A natural point of contention with our hubby. You like what you are familiar with, and were raised doing. Complaining and debating: sounds like they are French national sports. Your reaction is very natural. Fantastic video. I never miss a video, thanks for all of your hard work !
Dig that about Midwestern culture and not complaining, also following rules. I think it has to do with being functional and non-assuming. It works and makes life smooth. What can I say. Merci for your perspective from Paris. Glad you are enjoying it! 🇺🇸🇫🇷🇫🇷🇺🇸
So instead of the toilet seat down saga, you have the close the lid on the stinky cheese saga? :). There are some cheese shops in California that cater to people like Robin, they have good cheese, but... yes the stench, wow! I only visit for 10-20 mins max, but to have that smell come home with me, oh man that would be another thing.
Car thing, yes that is an American thing. Can't imagine visiting Yosemite Park, California Highway 1. Actually that is what you need to do when you come to the States, rent a car and drive up the California coast, stopping at some of the small towns, and enjoying the vistas. Explore San Simeon, Carmel-By-The-Sea playing California Dreaming. Try it with a convertible. Let him drive for a while. Might give some debate points when you both agree on public transportation :). Enjoying your video. I can relate.
I don't know how you do it! LOL As a Canadian, when someone is unhappy I also feel it needs to be addressed and a solution needs to be provided. That's how it works in the workplace and in a personal situations here. I was just about to provide unsolicited advice but will refrain!! Cheese: my idea of exotic is Brie! Stinky cheese makes feel sick. If I was pregnant in France I would never stop vomiting!
Yes for the debating, this is SO FRENCH! I love it, I am totally like Robin. It causes issues for me living abroad too ^^
What about smoking in cars ? What about one person smoking in a car and the other people don't ? What about if that person pays for your holiday but then refuse to stop smoking and you are stuck in the back of a tiny car breathing in the smoke and you couldn't open the window because it was winter ? Next time I went by train by myself and that was it. I'm feeling better already Doctor ! Can we have the next contestants please ?!
So so true. Grew up in Chicago and about to move to France with my Brasilian-Italian husband and I’m dreading him being back to his way of being. 😂😂😂
Just came back from Austin where they have basically three types of cheese, queso (highly processed crap), “Swiss” (less processed but still rubbish) and “blue” which is the best of the bunch. I’m with your husband on this one, Stinky cheese for the win!
My (French) husband LOVES cheese. He often says, "Cheese is life!" He will grab a wheel of brie--the kind my 'Merican family would use for a large cocktail party--and watch TV while gnawing on it. How is he so skinny?!
It’s very confusing!! How are they all so skinny?
No sugar, that why we are like that
Sooo funny! I'm italian and in my culture is quite commom to debate, to complain, to break the rules as well 😂🙈. I agree with you, it's very boring to hear continue complain about everything, I usually avoid the kind of person who do it all the time as I find it a very negative vibe. Ps I'm the same about car, I like to take it only for short distances and if I already know where I'll park, otherwise no. If I travel most of the times I take flight, train and buses 😂
As a rule follower, you would be much happier here in Germany.
I love me a good road trip, but not more than 3 hours per traveling day if at all possible.
All of this rang pretty true, but the rules one is a constant source of back and forth between my wife and I. I'm trying to go with the flow now we're in France, but when we were living in the UK I'd want to crawl under a rock when she decided she could bend or twist this or that rule or social norm just cos haha
Wow I wonder if these are some German traits too. I'm Canadian and my bf is a German and specifically the complaining and debating, I feel exactly the same way as you!
Trust me, being from a country where complaining is a national sport and having an opinion that you cannot wait to share with everybody makes you really dislike those types of people. I think you can say I have an opinion about people who are judgy and self-important.
All of them are so true! I love it, I am totally against following rules dumbly as well... we have a saying: when you don't have the right, take the left!
For no.1, you feel the same as me. For no. 5, I think that French really follow the rules… my husband will not cur the line to get on board prior other passengers… I think this might be really depended on the persons…
I honestly COULD NOT TAKE the NEGATIVITY & COMPLAINING.
The complaining and the rule breaking would drive me nuts. It’s too self important and entitled for me. (I’m an American who was raised in the southern part of the US.)
As a spaniard.. I agree on number one and on the cheese (love it but comte is disgusting , and why do they put camembert in the oven??).
For the rest I mostly agree with the french mentality, after all french are our neighbors, but still we have A LOT of differences, specially men and women roles
When it comes to cheeses. Smell and taste are different senses. Most strong smelling cheeses are mild in taste…
I'm nor sure why, as an American, I'm such a complainer. I think I got it from my dad who was from the East Coast. Growing up in Colorado in the American West, I have no real excuse.
Lol: if you don't want your fridge to smell, don't put your cheese in the refregirator until it's well done!
( I'm french, ndl)
In the Fromagerie, you have hundreds of cheeses under your nose and the smell is strong even for french people but once you have bought your three or four cheeses, the smell at home is acceptable!
If you are a cheese amateur, you will even like the smell! (until a certain level)
Don't worry, I'm french and I still don't like much strong blue cheeses such as Roquefort or Bleu d'Auvergne ! but I really love Bresse bleu and Fourme d'Ambert!
(on pizza, miam miam ! (yummy yummy!) ). Roquefort is for me the kind of cheese you like to experiment but you like to return to other ones you might prefer!
My favorites cheeses are Fromage
d'Abondance, Saint-nectaire, Compté, Morbier and Reblochon!
In winter, Raclette, Fondue and Tartiflette with a good white wine!
I sometimes enjoy to taste strong cheeses such as Maroual or Munster but I also like soft cheeses such as Brie or Double crême! I will of course always return to a good Camembert, accompanied with a good red wine!
Saint-Emilion is a good wine, but Côte de Beaune or even a simple Côte du Rhône can be fine!
Un bon fromage, du bon pain, du bon vin... je vais bien !!!
Cheese is life …. 🧀😅
Absolument, le fromage c'est la vie!
I have a friend, who is not a Frenchie, but just loves to be disagreeable- for sport! Makes. Me. Craaaazzzyyy!!!
I love this. Canadian here, living with a French woman pretty much both sides of the pound. I agree with you (except for the cheese) but I would add this (or substitute this for cheese): looking for someone to blame! When something bad happens, like most French I know, she will spend more time looking for a culprit than looking for a solution. This drives me craaaazy - even after 40 years. My in-laws are the same, so are there friends. I want to take both the red and the blue pill when I get stuck in this kind of conversation...
My French husband says I'm the complainer 😂😂😂, it's true he rarely does it, he's definitely more a glass half-full kind of person. But when he does complain, it is at a stronger degree than me.
Me and my husband are actually the same concerning cars. I sold my car 13 years ago when I moved to a town that had a good bus system and a really good biking system (this is Davis, California by the way, UC Davis, it's a pretty small college town, but a car is not necessary at all, those who know know what I mean), then I moved to the San Fran area, also has ok transit and is actually pretty bikeable. Then I moved to Korea where seriously a car is not necessary AT ALL, lol, then we moved to France, lol. We take transit 80-90% of the time, unless someone offers us a ride.
I grew up in a very confrontational family, and I think I have PTSD from it, so my husband doesn't push things because many times I start to feel like we're fighting and then get an anxiety attack.
My French husband HATES cheese, except for a small amount of mozzarella on pizza or lasagna or something, lol. So I'm the only one that buys it and only in very small quantities or else it doesn't get eaten. Luckily he has absolutely no problem with the stinkiest kimchi 😂😂😂, I often say we need a small kimchi fridge instead of a wine fridge.
My husband is much more a "follow the rules" kinda person than me. Sometimes to the T, and that can be super annoying 😂😂
Are you sure my French husband isn't American 😂😂 (just kidding, lol, he's definitely not, nor has he lived in an English speaking country)
Ok, i' m Italian and don't have a French boyfriend BUT I live in France! I hate smelly cheese, people who is against the rules ( it's fun?? Why??) And i think that french people loooove to discuss and to argue..why?? Why people shout and want to be right if he's doing something wrong?? But I have to admit that people like these, unfortunately exists in Italy too..
I feel you as an American, but I don't have any experience with anyone French. I can say for sure without experiencing it, I would find spending a week in the hospital more pleasant than any debate. It's tiring, stressful and pointless most times because people rarely change their minds even if they know facts or have been given a different point of view. Better to leave it alone. I think here in America another reason we don't debate is out of silent respect for differences from person to person since we have so many cultures and religions here. Sounds like American car culture to your husband is what debates are for you as an American. Not debating is not a sign of being uneducated in America and its not common in America, its mostly done if you have a career in politics. Also, roughly half of American's can easily bristle at someone oversharing their opinion because it feels disrespectful & rude to differences between people and comes across as forcing opinions or beliefs on another who didn't ask for them. It kind of goes against our idea of independence. So, we often don't care for the opinions of others and prefer to keep to ourselves and just do what's best or works for us until it doesn't. Of course, there are American's who have no respect for other cultures or opinions who will force their own opinions and beliefs on someone to the point of harassment and it's usually something involving politics or religion. I've heard a lot about the French, from you and others, and honestly the French have more good points than bad and I think I would prefer the company of any number of French people including debates rather than a few of a certain type of American.
1- Complaining. Yeah, we do complain. But, there are limits too. Some take it too far. Once, i was with a girl who only opened her mouth to utter a complaint, that was too much.
2- Cars. Omg... I hate cars. After 1H-2H tops, i already need to take a break, i can't take any more. It is the same as waiting in a waiting room to me... 24H in a car is torture, i will die, possibly literally. And i mean, even in a 300 000 euros luxury 4X4 with heating/massaging seats. To me, quite frankly, the best way to utterly waste your vacation is by driving around. Cars is something you have to suffer in order to reach a destination. Nothing more.
3- Debating. I don't have an opinion on many things. But it is always stimulating to share and study perspectives. Actually... I tend to be ULTRA bored whenever people start small talks for more than 10 minutes. This makes me uneasy, this actually depresses me (for real), and makes me want to run away (literally, and this is what i do all the time). I did the same as Robin with an american's video yesterday. I poked at them in order to understand who they were, and why they were saying what they were saying. They just came at me guns blazing, it was fantastic, they made one of the best post i ever saw by americans, and they ground me to bits :). Had to upvote them, it really made my day better, especially since i understood who they were as a result. And i can tell now, that they are really great people
I cut the debate but saying we talk about it later. I am opinionated. But his debating won't change my mind. Some of it is infantile.
The French are also exhausted by their own complaining 😂 (by the way I’m French)
😂😂😂
hahaha even though I love the smell in fromageries, I hate it when my fridge smells of cheese!
💯 agree
our inability to see the negative side of our own views - totally normal for americans - is why we have such messed up politics.
You grey up in car - dependant suburbia. Of course you had to get your license at 16 to get any level of autonomy and use car to do anything.
However, if you love driving, you can get yourself a cheap fuel efficient car and drive it around for pleasure. Maybe record the " trips "
Oh, my! When the debate-to-debate / complain-to-complain / whine-to-whine thing starts in, I've learned to quietly get up from the table and mosey on in to the other room while my friends indulge in it. It's akin to American football for me: I know it's popular with a lot of people, but it holds zero interest for me.
What's the point of driving to vacation spot if you can't make a tally of....red cows, black cows, red Ford pickup trucks, tiger striped cows, gray cows, brockled face cows, white clapboard churches, humped cows, speckled cows, white cows, black & white cows, round hay bales, piebald cows, blonde cows, and DAIRY QUEEN?
Love, Texas
future video? So catch us up on the election in France? was is going on? what are the moods in France? Merci!
Not just mood, actual figures get worse : inflation, rate increase, crime raise, loss of assets to middle east and asian companies, mass import and dept, loss of cohesion of the french people into 2 groups, 2 cultures (which was not the case before), non qualified immigration that prevents good assimilation, education plunging, electoral clientelism (world record 44% public spending to GDP), worse social and economy than many european countries (Europe is paying for France with low interest rates), loss of international credibility and influence. Lots of negative criticism of tourists after visiting Paris that did not exist 20 years ago.
Yes this is complaining, but because of some only able to see the bright side of things, they don't see the abyss in which France is going, they are not flipping the wheel. And other europeans are being very patient with France because of its glorious history.
Sorry but that is the truth. Other than that I love this channel :)
As an American…when my husband and I have a discussion and he always plays devils advocate even if he agrees with me. I think he likes to push my buttons. He is 98% French so maybe this is where it comes from.
It is pointless to agree about anything if nothing comes from it. You need to contradict your own opinion, too. Even if it is about stupid things like 'what is the right amount of salt for a good steak?' If you don't, you basically claim 'my brain is only for show bro!'. Because if you don't question trivial things, you won't get used to question things at all, which is unacceptable. What you call playing the devils advocate is merely exploring theories about things. I believe it is a natural drive for humankind, always exploring, digging, questioning, dissecting for the sake of it. This is because humanity loves to nitpick that a drive for new things appears and Newton discovered his theory. If it were 2022... Everybody would say: "Anyone can tell apples fall on the ground... Why should we need to get into annoying discussions about it Newton? Who cares, it won't make money anyway, make a new smartphone instead.." The reality is... this last century, humans became boring af. No more curiosity, no more brain usage. Nitpicking became synonymous of being annoying. By questioning things, you can try to make them right, and nowadays, not many things are right anymore. Did you know? Our 3 Revolutions came exactly from that. We had clubs for debates. From those debates developed the philosophy of the "Lumières", which nutured the american Independance and the French Revolution. We still have these clubs in France.
@@nox8730 100%
future video? You work with fancy French brands? like Emily in Paris? hihi. So how often do you go to the hairstylist? How does that compare to your French coworkers? What do French women have done at the hairstylist? Any anti frizz product we should know about? Do you have a night skin routine? with which product? Do French women wear sunscreen everyday? Do French women drink lots of water? i hope you are not too Frenchified hihi to share the French beauty secrets. hihi Drugstore brands would be more in line with my budget. Merci! your new ombre look made me ask. It is very luxurious. I live in Oregon, must women let themselves go grey but are coiffed and because it is not that sunny, we do not have as much sun damage compare to women living in Florida. We do wear hats when hiking outside during the day. You can recognize an Oregonian woman because she will have Birkenstock-type shoes on her feet. hihi.
Maybe i'm not full french because i don't like to complain, debate or share my opinion about everything. But you're right, frenchs are like this 😂
This is an old video, so I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I was captain of my debate team in high school (oh, and I’m American) and I really enjoy academic debates within context. But debating for the sake of it? Just to, like, pass the time? I’m just like WHO CARES I’M SO BORED BY THIS. 🤣🤣🤣 And if I do care (e.g. politics, feminism, etc.) then the experience of discussing those things will be extremely unpleasant if the person doesn’t agree with me! And I second the cheese thing. I gagged at a cheese shop in Italy for this very reason, and well, let’s just say it was a real ugly American moment.
Haha listenning to you complaining about the French way, i'm so culturally french in my way of thinking and living...
Robin just look like me (or i'm just like Robin).
I'm the devil's advocate in debate... haha
Yeah the more I watch these types of videos, the more I realize I could never be with a French 😆
I’m on your side. It’s sounds absolutely exhausting. Complaining, debating, and breaking the rules. Public transport is great if it’s convenient. Otherwise, it’s definitely easier to take the car. I love cheese but I can’t stand stinky cheese. I’m 5 for 5 with you. I’m sure you love your husband but I think I’ll stick with my good ol’ American guy. 😊
.. And sulking!
Complaining and debate is true in italy as well. If you shut up you just agree with what is going on. Truth is not universal. Understand each side of everything. Have you checked the current times?
This moment when u realize that u're a french man and not a russian woman.🤣I just recognized myself in some of these things about french men.
And this is exactly I loved living in the US.
I loved driving in the US, it was very relaxing. I hate driving in France. So stressful. Narrow roads, people taking stupid risks all the time. It’s not the same at all.
And for the rest, I completely agree with you too. I’m french but loved the American way of life. Missing it very much
I'm the same way. I think it is a Midwestern thing not just you.
It seems hubby takes a shower every day...😅 Not in the list!
bonjour j'ai découvert par hasard votre vidéo qui m'a plu , je suis française et mes parents m'ont appris qu'on doit faire la queue dans une file et respectez les règles et quand j'étais enfant ils m'ont pas non plus obligée à faire pipi en baissant ma culotte devant tout le monde en pleine rue, mais quelle honte et manque de respect à ceux qui font ça à leurs enfants ! il y a les toilettes publiques pour ça ...c'est vrai que nous avons la réputation d'être jamais content et c'est dommage que certains se plaignent pour un oui ou pour un an. Pour les transports en commun ici ont est plutôt bien logés si on habite en ville et nous avons aussi des autocar pour de plus longues distances ce qui est pratique, personnellement la voiture je la prend quand je peux pas faire autrement. Concernant le fromage, ah c'est sacré , nos merveilleux fromages si bon avec un morceau de pain et un petit vin c'est divin lol (je fais des rimes mdr) donc le fromage si vous le mettez au frigo je vous conseille de mettre du bicarbonate du soude dans une soucoupe et de mettre celle-ci dans le frigo afin d'absorber les mauvaises odeurs qui se dégageraient.
While I very much relate to the debate culture, and wanting my American partner to have opinions on absolutely everything because I certainly do 😂 I feel like the "devil's advocate" thing is more of a French GUY thing than a French thing in general. It also exhausts me, its tiring for all the French ladies I know, it feels like being asked to put effort into something that you don't even want to do for their amuseument, I really dislike it haha
Anyway, such a fun video! My partner has definitely converted me to enjoying road trips, but it might also be because I don't drive so I get to just sit back and enjoy
Thirty years ago I read that women can bend easier than men and so that started my journey of striving to help my partner feel good about his needs. You can be there for him when the complaints come, understand when he doesn't want to take the car perhaps, and ask him if you can debate that topic over wine later and not at dinner [obviously he needs mental/intellectual stimulation]. About the smell? Find a new cheese container. The rules? Stick with the high road as you are raising a child who is watching everything you do. Sometimes one must do the smoothing over invisibly (through prayer/meditation). You are ahead of the game because: you recognize these 5 and your hair looks great!.