Story about husband cheating. If you are okay with an open relationship. Find it with someone else. That should have been something that was established before the lying and sneaking around. If he can lie about this. What else, big or small is he lying about. Cheating doesn’t become okay because the other partner decides to put up with it to keep them. You guys always have the best advice! Love love love listening!
Story 2. About the travelling horse-guy. Could be a possibility that the boyfriend also has narcistic traits. He wants her to totally give up her life and relay on him completly. He's kinda pressuring her also: " if you're not ready now you'll never be". Def. a red flag... Does not seem to care that she found a job she loves. She sais that she is a very nervous person, perhaps she hasnt quit recovered jet from the narcistic abuse of her father.
SAME. One tends to choose couples that are comfortable and sometimes that means - repeating the pattern. If the boyfriend is not Narcissistic, he will have to understand that she needs to heal first and stand on her own two feet. She cannot run away from a relationship with her controlling father, to a boyfriend to whom she is giving all her power of decision. In the event that it doesn't work and she wants to rebuild her life, she wouldn't have it how to... Unfortunately, money can be used as a form of power in a relationship. The boyfriend should want the best for her and her evolution as a human being. Maybe she should go live with him but stay in the Barn the months he leaves, maybe living without paying rent but paid her owns counts, it could give her more possibilities to visit him more often or even have a better future for her. Maybe in time she can even work online and be able to go with him. But better to go little by little when she is healing from a pattern. Must be true to her heart and if she feels that it will be a burden, it will not be comfortable for her and she might end up hating herself for rushing it.
I wondered that too, and that none of the brought up his ultimatum about "now or never". Like, its all about him and his job and his life, he doesn't seem to care about her life at all. And offering to cover all her expenses so she can go with him is a wide open door for financial abuse to keep her there. Nevermind that she'd have to share their home with his brother.
I agree with this idea too. He seems far too willing to cut her ties for her with no regard for her happiness. Op won't have their own vehicle, money, private dwellings. And on top of that living on the road is extremely difficult
Story 3 - miss lady, there are good in-laws attached to good, non-abusive men. And if his mom is as wonderful as you say, she will understand why you can't be with her son who is abusing you. And if she stands by her son, she might have been better than your original family but she's not that great. You deserve GREAT. It seems like you're trying to heal your familial pain with a new family, but a good therapist to deal with those emotions is probably going to help you actually constructively process the emotions ❤ My boyfriend's mom is wonderful, and she's told me repeatedly that she would support me if my boyfriend ever started mistreating me. She's been abandoned and told her abuse didnt happen or wasnt that bad by almost every member of his family, so she understands that pain and its why she brings it up. She's basically taken all of the pain her MIL has caused her and channeled it into being as wonderful as possible with me so I can have the relationship she didnt 😢 im not crying, ur crying 😭
I dont blame her for not changing her name one bit, especially when the divorce isn't final. Men dont have to make dozens or hundreds of calls to their employers, bankers, government agencies etc informing every single one of their divorce by changing their name back. Sounds unendingly painful and grueling to make everyone and their neighbor acutely aware of your marriage ending in a direct interaction. At least doing it when you get married is for a happy reason so you can justify the annoying effort it takes with that. Men get to just go on, only having to address it as it comes up with his sphere. Her continuing to use HER name, because it became her name also, not just his, is just not a signifier of bad faith stuff going on with 100% assurance in my opinion.
And we don't know if there are kids. The woman who is my mom is not actually related to me by blood & my parents divorced when I was 18. If she changed her last name I would be sad because it connects us in a tangible way.
@@candiedolives5340 exactly! Great point. I actually offered to my Mom to change my name to her maiden if she wanted to switch back, because she mentioned the same sentiment about her kids and her sharing the same name.
I didn't change my married name after divorce. It was my name while building my professional reputation and ending my marriage was none of anyone's business and I didn't feel like explaining anything to anyone.
2nd story - that travel request from her bf is batshit insane, to the point I feel compelled to bring up that people instinctively seek relationships that are emotionally similar to the relationships we have with our formative, original relationships (like parents). Please mull that over and consider if there are any red flags that you might be ignoring that make you feel emotionally similar to how your narcissistic father makes you feel. He's not asking you to move in, he's asking you to give up all independence and give him all control, financial and otherwise. And he's saying he doesn't care that you like your job, your his object and your wants take a backseat to that. AND he's trying to pressure and rush her out of her job, so she can't try it out during the summer and see his shortcomings and have a fallback option. This is just ALL red flags. There's literally no rush, there's no deadline, and there's a more pragmatic option that hes ignoring. This is classic pre-abusive behavior. Gaining financial control AND isolating her from any established relationships she has? Nu-uh, bad news.
And that "Now or never" crap he pulled..... Eugh. This girl is falling for the love that she knows, and its heartbreaking that she could even entertain the idea that she is on the crazy side of the situation. Like 'not' wanting to leave her job or give up her independence is the 'unlikely' option of the two.
What independence? What dream job? She isn’t even making enough to support herself…. She has her “dream job” but can’t afford to move out of her fathers abusive home. Sorry, but not a dream job. A “dream job” is one that you love going to work, but it also supports your lifestyle. If that lifestyle is staying at home and taking care of your partner, which is what HE seems to want, that’s great, if you get the happiness and fulfillment out of it. But it seems that she’s more interested in a career outside of the home. I completely understand that feeling. I could not “be fulfilled” staying at home. So no judgment from me. But it seems like she needs to re-evaluate her goals and dreams. If her dream job doesn’t support her lifestyle, ie: food, housing, utilities, food, transportation etc., she needs to find an alternative source of income. I DO NOT think that other source of income should be another person. If it does include being supported by another person, then I think long, open courses of dialogue need to happen before taking that step. She needs to make her goals and dreams known to him. He needs to understand that is what she wants in life. He needs to be clear that he is willing to provide those things. I would also not enter into that type of relationship without some legal protection. Whether it be marriage or some other legally binding contract. It seems like he wants the benefits of marriage, someone giving up their goals and dreams to be with him and starting a life together, without the entanglement of legal protection. Maybe neither one of them are ready for marriage, but I wouldn’t give up everything without some kind of legal protection in this situation. Just my two cents….probably worth 1/4 of cent with inflation. 😂😂😂
@@mattiemathis9549 I would just like to point out that your perspective on what makes a dream job a dream job doesn't make it a fact. A "dream job" and the things it fufills is different for every person, because people want and need different things. There isn't a "correct" definition for that term so you shouldn't impose your idea of it on others. I'd argue most people's dream jobs actually wouldn't support them, and thats why its their dream job and not the one they're actually doing. Like art or acting or writing. Also, I dont remember it mentioning she didn't make enough money. Lots of people have enough money and are still emotionally unable to leave their abusive homes on their own.
Story #3: Leave now and you'll wish you left sooner. I was in an 8 year relationship with a toxic, gaslighting ex and he was only thinking about himself. I learned the hard way that the only person you can change is YOURSELF! Yes, you'll be sad and it's hard to start over but it will be all worth it, I promise. My coworker took me in as a roommate and all I had was my clothes and school supplies. I was sleeping on the carpet floor of my room for 6 months. Now we're still roommates and best friends, I finished college, make enough money to be independent, and happily single. Also, my ex's mom still loves me and we talk often. I consider her one of my extra moms. Good luck! You got this!!!
Infidelity guy - polyamory isnt the question here. He was doing something, she asked him to stop, he promised he would, and then he kept doing it. Relationship over, that's it. He's dishonest and you need an HONEST partner, ESPECIALLY in poly relationships. His character is faulty at a fundamental level, ignore all the other extraneous details with it, he isn't a good partner no matter what level of openness there is in the relationship.
For anyone nervous or terrified of going to college or university due to anxiety, I only a few months ago started uni in a different country. I knew no one who was going to the same uni, I didn't know the town at all, I was doing a bachelor's in a subject I've never studied before, and I was terrified. But three months later, I am doing well in my classes (that took a while to achieve, so don't worry if it takes a while to settle in), I've made some amazing friends, I love the town, and I regret nothing. I struggle a lot with anxiety, and I was nearly in tears getting ready to leave my room to put my kitchen utensils in the shared kitchen - but believe me it gets better. take that leap of faith and it will pay off. Believe in yourself, you've got this.
I did the Disney College program and it was an awesome experience. I made zero money but met some amazing people that I stayed in touch with for many years. If your reading this comment op Just don’t it!!!
As someone who did the Disney college program, it is the EASIEST place to make friends! I’ve never made friends easier or had more fun. There’s no pressure, and everyone is just there to learn something and have a good time! (I also left my boyfriend behind and we missed each other, but he was happy for me, and we’re now married 6 years later!)
(Story #6 - Disney College Program) First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your acceptance to the program!!🥳🥳🥳 Okay, starting off, please do not hold yourself back from this amazing opportunity. I know how anxiety can sabotage situations and so easily cloud your judgment or hold you back. They do say, your brain will keep you from changing or trying out new things because THE BRAIN IS SCARED OF CHANGE. Oftentimes, the brain registers change as something dangerous, not because it actually is, but because it doesn’t want to switch up what it already knows. (🧠: change = ⚠️) Know that YOU have the final say. And have a little faith in yourself! This opportunity is different in the sense that all the people that will be there have the shared experience of going through the process of getting into the program. Unlike a class where maybe not everyone what’s to be there. I’m sure you will flourish within the program and have an amazing experience. Making best friends or not, just to have the opportunity to grow on your own is amazing. Make the most of it and allow yourself to enjoy even the little things.
With the 1st story, I was married young changed my last name when I got married, was divorced by age 23. At that point I knew at some time in my life I would get married again, so I figured why change my last name back to my maiden name just to get married and change it again. It just didn't make sense to me. So even though I left an abusive spouse, I did keep his last name until I got married again so that I didn't have to change it four different times.
First story is a situation I was in a couple of years ago. We were separated for 7 years before I had the extra money to file for a divorce with a lawyer. Tried to do it on my own and thought it was done for years, to find out years later it had been dismissed. Finally had to hire a divorce lawyer which was not cheap by any means. Also I still have my ex husbands name. I only didn’t change it back bc of all the hassle and paperwork. I have tons of things in my name and at this point I’m not going through all of the name change stuff. There is absolutely no attachment to it other then not wanting to deal with all the hassle.
My concern is that the ex is still legally in charge if he's incapacitated. They haven't spoken in years, if he's suddenly in the hospital and decisions need to be made his girlfriend has no say in anything since he still has a wife. Even if the wife is a good person and has his best interest at heart, she could be on the other side of the country at this point. Unless he has his advance directive in place this situation could turn very bad in the blink of an eye.
I told my husband if we divorce I will not remove the last name. As a matter of a fact I am changing it when I become a Citizen which means it will be permanent regardless. I absolutely hate my OG last name lol and that's why
(Story #4 - Dating two people) YES! Time will tell, I agree with all the advice that Jerry, Morgan, and Justin gave. What I always like to know too is: - How do they deal with stress? If y’all were running late to a reservation/flight/event, would they get angry? Would they be anxious? Would they shut down? Make sure that this can be something you both/all can deal with in a healthy way. - What are your “deal breakers”/non-negotiable’s? Aside from any children involved (they should ALWAYS be a priority), do the religious/political/moral/child raising beliefs of all parties involved align? Is that important to YOU? Is that important to THEM? PLEASE have these tough conversations! Don’t waste your own/other peoples time. And it’s better to know sooner rather than later. (And don’t turn a blind eye because they may be the best option so far and/or out of fear of not finding someone better) - Are they the “jealous type”? It’s SO IMPORTANT for all people involved to have their own spaces/friends/hobbies to do on their own. Things do not always have to involve both/all people. It’s also worth noting that if you are all doing your own thing from time to time, monitoring/controlling those situations is not okay. Be secure. Trust your partner/s. Have fun together and apart.
A Tony Pizza here that’s late to the party lol. I just started watching this pod and I love it! As far as the last name issue I know lots of ppl put a weird enfaces on last names but tbh they really don’t mean anything. I have my husbands last name (as does my daughter) but we don’t even talk to any of the other individuals that share that last name so there are tons of ppl out there with the same last name as me who have no connection to me.
OP, they are not exes until they are divorced, they are estranged. And if there is a money issue, you may be able to do a hardship application to wave court fees if there aren't any children and get a "quickie" divorce. They're not legally separated. A lot of people will say they are getting divorced and are separated and they never intend on leaving the wife. We only have his word for it. It would depend on what your beliefs are, as long as the divorce isn't final, you are the mistress. If this doesn't bother you then don't worry about it. If it does, leave. You are the only one whose opinion matters on this.
with regards to name change... I got divorced and kept my ex's last name because everything would have been terrible to change over and my maiden name is 17 letters versus 5. It made more sense. I have since remarried and changed it to the new husband's last name but it was worth it to change at that point and only went up by 2 more letters lol Also, in our state if you can agree to paperwork for a dissolution, it is a difference in cost of $300 versus $1500 each to start with lawyers for a divorce. That's what we did and it worked out so smoothly. As long as they can agree to it. We also didn't have children.
I never knew people to change their name during separation legally. They might go by their maiden name on say social media but it's most likely is not official. She's assuming the ex will keep the last name. Also he literally can't do anything about it.
@@ADWebTV I understand they aren't legally divorced or separated yet. I was only talking about a situation I've been in where i didn't change my name even after divorce and a reason why I hadn't, for the girl who is upset about her having it. The judge asked me what I wanted, not what he wanted. It will ultimately be her choice anyway. Also, if they aren't legally separated, they may ultimately be responsible for either of their financial choices until they do. That's super scary 😬
Story 1: My grandparents were separated for my entire life and both had separate partners, they remained married and never divorced due to money matters as well and my grandmother kept his last name for similar reasons. This arrangement was completely understood and accepted by our family, and I didn't realize that this scenario may be considered a bit odd until much later in my life. My grandparents were cordial and there was no romantic aspect to their relationship after they decided to separate. While this situation mentioned may be different, I wouldn't assume that there's something going on behind the scenes just because of their arrangement.
About the second story..I think it's super sus and my spidey senses are tingling....he wants her to uproot and go with him, with no financial independence and ASAP??? Red flag! Plus she already has a narc father aka she has blind spots in regards to being able to spot a narc before they do their "spell". I dunno... For me, it's a RUN!
Omg Im having an opinion on all these today 😂 Disney girl - if you're saying you're terrified to be away from your bf for 6 months, you HAVE to do it. For your health and his and the relationship. You go lady, it'll be great 🥰
I am sorry if I am missing this but where do I write in at?? I have watched for almost a year between the channels. Found you through your daughter Morgan! Love what you guys have created
Thank you for the love! I think morgan post the write in link on Instagram.. Btw, I do read all the comments and I’m delighted that listeners Blog and share their thoughts for the Op’s to read. Everyone’s comments have to help these folks take a solid conscious direction in their life paths. Jerry/Dad
I love yalls point of views. It’s not just porn. It’s emotional interactions. It’s cheating. My ex had an emotional relationship with one particular onlyfans person. It is cheating. It is a sexual relationship.
First story, my mom and dad haven’t been married since I was 1 and she still has our last name lol and been with my “step dad” (not really married) for 15 years 😅
Ticia, I think your coffee cup idea is a good one, I will design something if you don’t want to. However, I think as it was your idea, either you do it or we do it together.. xo J
@@FatherKnowsSomething oh my god that is so cool, I am not a great designer so no idea how to do a mock up but I think something with the steam coming from a cute little percolator being the “let it percolate” quote. Also just wanted to say Jerry I listen in from down here in Australia and love the advice you give, definitely helps with navigating life ❤️ Tish
honestly living near a barn and working with horses/ traveling the world working with horses sounds amazing. guy is passionate about work and passionate about her and wants her with him.....just sounds like they aren't compatible. if she was interested in that work or found a job where she can work remote or freelance then it would workout great.
the 2nd story resonated with me because my ex wanted me to move to the USA (i’m canadian) so we could live together. when I said i didn’t want to give up my life in canada and he should move here (mind you I have a house, he doesn’t and lives with his brother and 2 roommates) he broke it off because he didn’t want to leave the US. very hard situation, especially since he tried to propose to me twice I think to coerce me lol
Dude your dad is awesome. Bro the metaverse is wild. Loved this, I’m glad you all talked about these topics. I’m excited to see what else is in store for your this podcast!! You’ve all got my support, keep up the great work. I just uploaded a new podcast on my channel too!!
First story-- who tf cares she has his last name. Also once you're officially divorced, you have the option of changing your name... no extra cost. Maybe she's holding out. I got married little over 2 yrs ago. There's so many expenses and headaches that come with changing your name. Who knows how long they were married, or maybe she just prefers it. Everyone slaughtered my maiden name. It's easier with my married name. 21 and 36... huge red flag.
This story: This is the first stages of abuse. Get out! Run! Find a roommate online so you can get out and be safe. Work extra jobs until you can get on your feet. He will hurt you. I’m an orphan. I know what it’s like to not have anyone in the world but guess what.. you can meet new people who can become a true family. Do not accept anything less than a healthy relationship and your safety.
horse guy is fishy, why didn't he let the girlfriend stay in the barn when he wasn't away? why would they have to leave now, why can't she wait till the holidays? something is up, for sure. I wouldn't trust someone to pressure me away from my "dream job" that I recently got and I love, why is it now and not before?
Well I'm two months late but I hope the person going to do the Disney college program has a great time, hope they checked out some stuff from people that have been in the program coz I've heard some bad things about it so it'd be good that they're at least well informed prior or maybe reach out to former program students to get advice. I think it's a great opportunity for them to get away and grow and experience their dream. I also love in Michigan and I've been considering looking into studying abroad or something coz I feel I really need to branch out and getaway so I wish the best for us both 😊 Edit: I hadn't finished the episode when I wrote my comment 😂 Morgan said exactly how I feel I'm extremely anxious meeting new people (I was literally signing a petition or something the other day and was shaking uncontrollably that it was so difficult to even sign my name 😅) and I feel like I don't wanna leave everyone I know and love. However I also feel like the people I'm close to have grown dependent on me and I have with them, and we have gotten to the point I feel unwelcomed in my own home. So I really think it might be what I need. As well as I have a best friend home I've visited before and is coming to visit again soon that lives in Germany. And I really would love to be able to see her more often and I really liked Germany at least from what I saw so far to the point I've been really missing it the past couple years. Which this to me is very telling since I've been many places with and without family but I can't say I ever truly miss anywhere I've visited like Germany. I feel like maybe I should go study abroad there even for just a semester 🤷♀️
So on the moving story and what Morgan said about couples who move in together out of convenience being less happy: I can see that being true. My most recent ex and i just broke up after 3 yrs but still live together. He moved in with me bc of Covid and bc his roommate was moving out and screwing him over.
When hubby and I were just dating I ended up slowly moving in. He made it clear I was always welcome, I stayed over the weekend a few times and then at some point I just didn't go home anymore. We officially moved in together when we moved across the country to begin our married lives but we'd technically been living together for a year at that point. I truly think you should try existing in the same place for a while before you marry, just to feel out if you can cooperate for an extended period of time. A week long vacation or staycation works, let's you find out the little weird things about each other (like one of you snores only after working a double shift or one of you absolutely hates doing the dishes and would rather deal with the laundry. Basically playing house.)
My dad and his ex are still married, they have been separated for over 35 years. We have zero contact with her. My parents have been together for 35 years. So it happens and it can work if they want it too.
Francis, Thank you for your families reality. One think certain in life there are alway exception to a rule… The people within the events/stories just have to all be on the same page to enable it to work without friction. It’s important that the folks relating to these stories see other peoples experiences.. Again thank you for participating. Dad/Jerry
I’m not sure if this will be seen since this episode was from 2 years ago. Story 1, my ex and I lived in different states, but I divorced him for minimal cost. I was able to file paperwork through the court in my state to run an add in my local newspaper announcing my intention to divorce and the court date. I told the court I was unable to locate him. When he didn’t show my divorce was granted.
With the open relationship one, If you do that and let him have flings … is he also helping with the kids? Does he do chores and help out at home? Or are you just gunna be a baby machine and care taker of his house while he pays the bills and fucks around? That’s not and equal relationship, you’re not being fulfilled with someone who makes you feel like you are not enough, you can not be fullfilled by someone who doesn’t help you with the kids and home you’ve made together and gives you nothing emotionally or physically, are you having organisms, having help with the home, getting breaks from the kids, being told you’re beautiful and a great mom and is he feeding your love language the way you need?
What I’m generally missing in stories you guys discuss are details. For instance on story 3: it’s not that she doesn’t want to end the relationship, she doesn’t have anywhere to go! Great that you are advising her to break up with the boyfriend without losing the relationship with the mother in law, but she CAN’T GO ANYWHERE! That’s the part she wants advise on, what can she do in order to make it work until she can go somewhere else. I love this podcast (and two hot takes) and the insights, but please pay a little bit more attention to details 😉❤️
Renee’ , I hear you on this one. As O.P. Wishes to have a friend with the mother, in situations or life change don’t we sometimes share these changes with our friends and seek there involvement in working together in finding the next step or solutions, Especially when we find ourselves disabled dues to mental exhaustion. So the bond between the mother/friend can scope the classifieds/real estate rentals and other places to find a living option… if money is the issue maybe there are some other work opportunities to seek out.. this is the detail first line of actions that come to mind… Jerry
@@FatherKnowsSomething thanks for the reply Jerry! Didn’t expect one, so major fan girling over here 🙈 I hope you and your family had a lovely Christmas and Boxing Day! 🎄 much love and thanks again from the Netherlands ♥️
About the name change… I read a bit through comments and I agree that it’s a hassle to change your name back. Especially worse if you’re living in US but are Canadian or something like that. And, I personally know people that got their doctoral degrees and don’t want to change their name back because it wouldn’t match their professional name anymore and they didn’t want to have to explain it to anyone ever because it’s personal life issues. So the name change itself shouldn’t matter. But yes, agree with dad, Morgan and Justin that without knowing more it’s hard to say what else can be going on in that relationship. And that if you do get married in the future he’d have to get divorced anyway so it’s just a matter of time.
My current boyfriend moved in with after 3 - 4 weeks cause he lived in his friends basement and now we are happily together 1 year now and living together has been great! (My current boyfriend has been my best friend since I was 11 so everything came natural)
i would 100% go travel the world w my partner and not have to work. you can work later that sounds like a dream. would finish out the year and then tell the school what the plan is so they can find someone to possible replace her
Story #1 seems a little ridiculous to me, if you’re worried about the ex having your bf’s last name- don’t date a married man! Whether they’re together or not, it’s his wife. She has his last name, get over it 🤷🏻♀️
3rd story - Also if you are still in college please research, they might offer some kind of programs for struggling students like therapy or some kind of group meetings. It will not solve your financial troubles, but it may help you move on.
I’d like to input i think the 2nd story if she’s a teacher (I didn’t hear if she was or not) sometimes if she breaks her contract and stops working there mid year she could lose her teaching credential
Not getting divorced is one thing, but changing your name is a pain in the ass. I changed my last name end of 2014 when I turned 18 and there's still government departments that still use my birth name because govt departments don't talk to each other... Unless there's money involved lol
To be fair my Dad was separated from his ex wife for a long time before they got a legal divorce. He couldn't afford a divorce attorney and she wouldn't do it through mediation. Sometimes divorces take time to be legal.
I was 14 when I met my fiancé (next month he will be my husband) and we have 2 beautiful children. I am 21. We went through hard times and some seriously dumb fights. But he never treated me in such an awful way. I am so sorry you’re going through this and I am sending nothing but love your way ❤
You can have your attorney put into the divorce decree that you want to go back to your maiden name or change it to a completely different name. Then your name change is free, with the exception of, the cost for new IDs, passport, etc.
first story... seems like the relationship isn't going anywhere unless she wants to essentially be his mistress for life...if he's not interested in getting married...usually that's the end goal of a relationship..do you want to have kids with this guy even if he's married to someone else? hmm....
thats so weird re couples making a conscious decision to move in. my partner and I moved in together after a couple of months out of necessity (he needed a place to crash for a bit).. 12 years later, we're now married and he still hasn't moved out :))
I have a friend who got married when his gf was pregnant but they separated when the baby was less than a year and the mom has nothing to do with him or their daughter but she won't give him a divorce and their daughter is 13
Losing another family. I understand why you're hesistant, but you might have an ally in his mother as she may not want to lose you either. Maybe, approach her, give her a hug, tell her how grateful you are to have her and say, "Things aren't going so well between "X" and we have grown apart and want different things. I don't want to hurt you and don't want to lose you; but I need to move on and wanted to come to you as respect everything you have done and how you've been there for me over the years. In order to continue my growth and be happy and healthy I can't be with him anymore." She may have noticed his behavior changes and be waiting to be asked her opinion. Be clear that you also don't want to put her in the middle and you understand if she needs distance from you. She may totally supportive and remind you that all that matters are both you and your boyfriend's health and happiness. Even in she doesn't want contact at first, maybe she made need space temporarily and come back around later. Good luck OP. I'm praying for you. God bless.
To the open relationship story: You can't be in any successful relationship, especially an open one, without trust. This man can't be trusted, leave his ass.
I’ll never get porn, if you want to get off and you’re physically attracted to your long term partner, why wouldn’t you just be like “hey i’m frisky and i have physical needs to be met” porn seems so sneaky and gross, you’re looking at someone else getting off and hiding, seeking privacy and pleasing yourself while leaving your partner and their physical needs out on the cold. It’s just not okay with me, masterbarion is for teenagers and young single people exploring their sexuality and learning their bodies and sexual needs. Once you’re in a committed relationship you shouldn’t need to do that, you can’t love someone without loving yourself, works the same way for sexual health, if you know how to get yourself off, when you’re with a long term partner they should learn how to do that for you as you build your relationship and bond. If you still need to get yourself off, that’s not the relationship for you and you’re probably not meeting the sexual needs of your partner if they are also not meeting yours.
From my perspective, my partner isn’t my personal s*x doll. If I am wanting to be intimate my partner isn’t under any obligation to have s*x or get me off it’s MY problem. Masterbation/self touch is healthy and should be encouraged!
another pov on the divorce ones even if they do go threw with a divorce and it gets finalised she sill may not change her name my parents are divorced and mum keeps my dads last name so she kept the same last name as me and my sister. dose she have any interest in my dad? absolutely not so why dose the last name matter so much there are so Manny other people in the world who share the same last name that have no relations to this man so dose she want them to go change they're names as well?
When you’re already caught up on two hot takes so you gotta come support Morgan’s dad… love you guys!
same!
Same lmao I love them all♥️
Yeah just realized it was her dads channel when he introduced everyone 🤭
Same !
@@Steven-ok9vg m see e
Story about husband cheating. If you are okay with an open relationship. Find it with someone else. That should have been something that was established before the lying and sneaking around. If he can lie about this. What else, big or small is he lying about. Cheating doesn’t become okay because the other partner decides to put up with it to keep them. You guys always have the best advice! Love love love listening!
this! you put it perfectly.
Story 2. About the travelling horse-guy. Could be a possibility that the boyfriend also has narcistic traits. He wants her to totally give up her life and relay on him completly. He's kinda pressuring her also: " if you're not ready now you'll never be". Def. a red flag... Does not seem to care that she found a job she loves. She sais that she is a very nervous person, perhaps she hasnt quit recovered jet from the narcistic abuse of her father.
I thought the same thing since he is already prioritizing his desires over hers.
SAME.
One tends to choose couples that are comfortable and sometimes that means - repeating the pattern. If the boyfriend is not Narcissistic, he will have to understand that she needs to heal first and stand on her own two feet. She cannot run away from a relationship with her controlling father, to a boyfriend to whom she is giving all her power of decision. In the event that it doesn't work and she wants to rebuild her life, she wouldn't have it how to... Unfortunately, money can be used as a form of power in a relationship. The boyfriend should want the best for her and her evolution as a human being. Maybe she should go live with him but stay in the Barn the months he leaves, maybe living without paying rent but paid her owns counts, it could give her more possibilities to visit him more often or even have a better future for her. Maybe in time she can even work online and be able to go with him. But better to go little by little when she is healing from a pattern.
Must be true to her heart and if she feels that it will be a burden, it will not be comfortable for her and she might end up hating herself for rushing it.
@@paulinafrancopaya6512 yes!
I wondered that too, and that none of the brought up his ultimatum about "now or never". Like, its all about him and his job and his life, he doesn't seem to care about her life at all. And offering to cover all her expenses so she can go with him is a wide open door for financial abuse to keep her there. Nevermind that she'd have to share their home with his brother.
I agree with this idea too. He seems far too willing to cut her ties for her with no regard for her happiness. Op won't have their own vehicle, money, private dwellings. And on top of that living on the road is extremely difficult
Story 3 - miss lady, there are good in-laws attached to good, non-abusive men. And if his mom is as wonderful as you say, she will understand why you can't be with her son who is abusing you. And if she stands by her son, she might have been better than your original family but she's not that great. You deserve GREAT. It seems like you're trying to heal your familial pain with a new family, but a good therapist to deal with those emotions is probably going to help you actually constructively process the emotions ❤
My boyfriend's mom is wonderful, and she's told me repeatedly that she would support me if my boyfriend ever started mistreating me. She's been abandoned and told her abuse didnt happen or wasnt that bad by almost every member of his family, so she understands that pain and its why she brings it up. She's basically taken all of the pain her MIL has caused her and channeled it into being as wonderful as possible with me so I can have the relationship she didnt 😢 im not crying, ur crying 😭
The video hasn't even played yet, but I already know that after a long day of work, this is just the thing I wanted to listen to on my way home.
I dont blame her for not changing her name one bit, especially when the divorce isn't final. Men dont have to make dozens or hundreds of calls to their employers, bankers, government agencies etc informing every single one of their divorce by changing their name back. Sounds unendingly painful and grueling to make everyone and their neighbor acutely aware of your marriage ending in a direct interaction. At least doing it when you get married is for a happy reason so you can justify the annoying effort it takes with that. Men get to just go on, only having to address it as it comes up with his sphere.
Her continuing to use HER name, because it became her name also, not just his, is just not a signifier of bad faith stuff going on with 100% assurance in my opinion.
And we don't know if there are kids. The woman who is my mom is not actually related to me by blood & my parents divorced when I was 18. If she changed her last name I would be sad because it connects us in a tangible way.
@@candiedolives5340 exactly! Great point. I actually offered to my Mom to change my name to her maiden if she wanted to switch back, because she mentioned the same sentiment about her kids and her sharing the same name.
I am divorcing and I am keeping my husbands name
I didn't change my married name after divorce. It was my name while building my professional reputation and ending my marriage was none of anyone's business and I didn't feel like explaining anything to anyone.
2nd story - that travel request from her bf is batshit insane, to the point I feel compelled to bring up that people instinctively seek relationships that are emotionally similar to the relationships we have with our formative, original relationships (like parents). Please mull that over and consider if there are any red flags that you might be ignoring that make you feel emotionally similar to how your narcissistic father makes you feel. He's not asking you to move in, he's asking you to give up all independence and give him all control, financial and otherwise. And he's saying he doesn't care that you like your job, your his object and your wants take a backseat to that.
AND he's trying to pressure and rush her out of her job, so she can't try it out during the summer and see his shortcomings and have a fallback option. This is just ALL red flags. There's literally no rush, there's no deadline, and there's a more pragmatic option that hes ignoring. This is classic pre-abusive behavior. Gaining financial control AND isolating her from any established relationships she has? Nu-uh, bad news.
Totally agree! And he’s giving her a hard time for saying she wants to wait for summer. It’s seems really controlling to me
Yes!
And that "Now or never" crap he pulled..... Eugh. This girl is falling for the love that she knows, and its heartbreaking that she could even entertain the idea that she is on the crazy side of the situation. Like 'not' wanting to leave her job or give up her independence is the 'unlikely' option of the two.
What independence? What dream job? She isn’t even making enough to support herself…. She has her “dream job” but can’t afford to move out of her fathers abusive home. Sorry, but not a dream job. A “dream job” is one that you love going to work, but it also supports your lifestyle. If that lifestyle is staying at home and taking care of your partner, which is what HE seems to want, that’s great, if you get the happiness and fulfillment out of it. But it seems that she’s more interested in a career outside of the home. I completely understand that feeling. I could not “be fulfilled” staying at home. So no judgment from me. But it seems like she needs to re-evaluate her goals and dreams. If her dream job doesn’t support her lifestyle, ie: food, housing, utilities, food, transportation etc., she needs to find an alternative source of income. I DO NOT think that other source of income should be another person. If it does include being supported by another person, then I think long, open courses of dialogue need to happen before taking that step. She needs to make her goals and dreams known to him. He needs to understand that is what she wants in life. He needs to be clear that he is willing to provide those things. I would also not enter into that type of relationship without some legal protection. Whether it be marriage or some other legally binding contract.
It seems like he wants the benefits of marriage, someone giving up their goals and dreams to be with him and starting a life together, without the entanglement of legal protection. Maybe neither one of them are ready for marriage, but I wouldn’t give up everything without some kind of legal protection in this situation.
Just my two cents….probably worth 1/4 of cent with inflation. 😂😂😂
@@mattiemathis9549 I would just like to point out that your perspective on what makes a dream job a dream job doesn't make it a fact. A "dream job" and the things it fufills is different for every person, because people want and need different things. There isn't a "correct" definition for that term so you shouldn't impose your idea of it on others. I'd argue most people's dream jobs actually wouldn't support them, and thats why its their dream job and not the one they're actually doing. Like art or acting or writing.
Also, I dont remember it mentioning she didn't make enough money. Lots of people have enough money and are still emotionally unable to leave their abusive homes on their own.
Story #3: Leave now and you'll wish you left sooner. I was in an 8 year relationship with a toxic, gaslighting ex and he was only thinking about himself. I learned the hard way that the only person you can change is YOURSELF! Yes, you'll be sad and it's hard to start over but it will be all worth it, I promise. My coworker took me in as a roommate and all I had was my clothes and school supplies. I was sleeping on the carpet floor of my room for 6 months. Now we're still roommates and best friends, I finished college, make enough money to be independent, and happily single. Also, my ex's mom still loves me and we talk often. I consider her one of my extra moms.
Good luck! You got this!!!
I was sad I was caught up on two hot takes, and got recommended this and I feel BLESSEDDDD!!!
Justin telling me I’m enough despite how people treat me is just everything right now 😭
Infidelity guy - polyamory isnt the question here. He was doing something, she asked him to stop, he promised he would, and then he kept doing it. Relationship over, that's it. He's dishonest and you need an HONEST partner, ESPECIALLY in poly relationships. His character is faulty at a fundamental level, ignore all the other extraneous details with it, he isn't a good partner no matter what level of openness there is in the relationship.
For anyone nervous or terrified of going to college or university due to anxiety, I only a few months ago started uni in a different country. I knew no one who was going to the same uni, I didn't know the town at all, I was doing a bachelor's in a subject I've never studied before, and I was terrified. But three months later, I am doing well in my classes (that took a while to achieve, so don't worry if it takes a while to settle in), I've made some amazing friends, I love the town, and I regret nothing. I struggle a lot with anxiety, and I was nearly in tears getting ready to leave my room to put my kitchen utensils in the shared kitchen - but believe me it gets better. take that leap of faith and it will pay off. Believe in yourself, you've got this.
i love the stories today. it reminds me of the good times in old relationships. thanks, guys we all love you.
“This is a defining moment in your life. And you don’t miss this one, you do it.” The dad advice we watch this for 🖤🖤
I did the Disney College program and it was an awesome experience. I made zero money but met some amazing people that I stayed in touch with for many years. If your reading this comment op Just don’t it!!!
As someone who did the Disney college program, it is the EASIEST place to make friends! I’ve never made friends easier or had more fun. There’s no pressure, and everyone is just there to learn something and have a good time! (I also left my boyfriend behind and we missed each other, but he was happy for me, and we’re now married 6 years later!)
Love your relationship with your dad, my dad and I were never close… this makes me so happy. Keep up the awesome work 💕
The second story is my dream scenario, what a fun adventure it would be! It’s not for everybody, but I’d be all for it.
(Story #6 - Disney College Program)
First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your acceptance to the program!!🥳🥳🥳
Okay, starting off, please do not hold yourself back from this amazing opportunity. I know how anxiety can sabotage situations and so easily cloud your judgment or hold you back. They do say, your brain will keep you from changing or trying out new things because THE BRAIN IS SCARED OF CHANGE. Oftentimes, the brain registers change as something dangerous, not because it actually is, but because it doesn’t want to switch up what it already knows. (🧠: change = ⚠️)
Know that YOU have the final say. And have a little faith in yourself! This opportunity is different in the sense that all the people that will be there have the shared experience of going through the process of getting into the program. Unlike a class where maybe not everyone what’s to be there.
I’m sure you will flourish within the program and have an amazing experience. Making best friends or not, just to have the opportunity to grow on your own is amazing. Make the most of it and allow yourself to enjoy even the little things.
That's so funny that at the end. You say something about watching it in september😂
Yalls advice is SO much better now. I think you feel comfortable now to tell it like it is and not gentle parent us lol.
With the 1st story, I was married young changed my last name when I got married, was divorced by age 23. At that point I knew at some time in my life I would get married again, so I figured why change my last name back to my maiden name just to get married and change it again. It just didn't make sense to me. So even though I left an abusive spouse, I did keep his last name until I got married again so that I didn't have to change it four different times.
Man, I just love this podcast so much! :)
First story is a situation I was in a couple of years ago. We were separated for 7 years before I had the extra money to file for a divorce with a lawyer. Tried to do it on my own and thought it was done for years, to find out years later it had been dismissed. Finally had to hire a divorce lawyer which was not cheap by any means. Also I still have my ex husbands name. I only didn’t change it back bc of all the hassle and paperwork. I have tons of things in my name and at this point I’m not going through all of the name change stuff. There is absolutely no attachment to it other then not wanting to deal with all the hassle.
My concern is that the ex is still legally in charge if he's incapacitated. They haven't spoken in years, if he's suddenly in the hospital and decisions need to be made his girlfriend has no say in anything since he still has a wife. Even if the wife is a good person and has his best interest at heart, she could be on the other side of the country at this point. Unless he has his advance directive in place this situation could turn very bad in the blink of an eye.
I told my husband if we divorce I will not remove the last name. As a matter of a fact I am changing it when I become a Citizen which means it will be permanent regardless. I absolutely hate my OG last name lol and that's why
(Story #4 - Dating two people)
YES! Time will tell, I agree with all the advice that Jerry, Morgan, and Justin gave.
What I always like to know too is:
- How do they deal with stress? If y’all were running late to a reservation/flight/event, would they get angry? Would they be anxious? Would they shut down?
Make sure that this can be something you both/all can deal with in a healthy way.
- What are your “deal breakers”/non-negotiable’s? Aside from any children involved (they should ALWAYS be a priority), do the religious/political/moral/child raising beliefs of all parties involved align? Is that important to YOU? Is that important to THEM?
PLEASE have these tough conversations! Don’t waste your own/other peoples time. And it’s better to know sooner rather than later. (And don’t turn a blind eye because they may be the best option so far and/or out of fear of not finding someone better)
- Are they the “jealous type”? It’s SO IMPORTANT for all people involved to have their own spaces/friends/hobbies to do on their own. Things do not always have to involve both/all people. It’s also worth noting that if you are all doing your own thing from time to time, monitoring/controlling those situations is not okay. Be secure. Trust your partner/s. Have fun together and apart.
The way Morgan’s dad carries out his “aaand” is so Minnesotian 🤣🤣❤️❤️
Great episode and super excited for the next one!! Father knows squared - let’s gooo!!
Truly next weeks is great. I’m excited for you guys to hear it.. xo Jerry/Dad
Love the consistency, I wish you guys had a reality tv show cause I’d watch it.
“Interesting choice of words”😂
A Tony Pizza here that’s late to the party lol. I just started watching this pod and I love it!
As far as the last name issue I know lots of ppl put a weird enfaces on last names but tbh they really don’t mean anything. I have my husbands last name (as does my daughter) but we don’t even talk to any of the other individuals that share that last name so there are tons of ppl out there with the same last name as me who have no connection to me.
First! Love this and having both perspectives!
OP, they are not exes until they are divorced, they are estranged. And if there is a money issue, you may be able to do a hardship application to wave court fees if there aren't any children and get a "quickie" divorce. They're not legally separated. A lot of people will say they are getting divorced and are separated and they never intend on leaving the wife. We only have his word for it. It would depend on what your beliefs are, as long as the divorce isn't final, you are the mistress. If this doesn't bother you then don't worry about it. If it does, leave. You are the only one whose opinion matters on this.
with regards to name change... I got divorced and kept my ex's last name because everything would have been terrible to change over and my maiden name is 17 letters versus 5. It made more sense. I have since remarried and changed it to the new husband's last name but it was worth it to change at that point and only went up by 2 more letters lol
Also, in our state if you can agree to paperwork for a dissolution, it is a difference in cost of $300 versus $1500 each to start with lawyers for a divorce. That's what we did and it worked out so smoothly. As long as they can agree to it. We also didn't have children.
I never knew people to change their name during separation legally. They might go by their maiden name on say social media but it's most likely is not official. She's assuming the ex will keep the last name. Also he literally can't do anything about it.
@@ADWebTV I understand they aren't legally divorced or separated yet. I was only talking about a situation I've been in where i didn't change my name even after divorce and a reason why I hadn't, for the girl who is upset about her having it. The judge asked me what I wanted, not what he wanted. It will ultimately be her choice anyway.
Also, if they aren't legally separated, they may ultimately be responsible for either of their financial choices until they do. That's super scary 😬
I appreciate you saying this honestly and they don’t have children together either.
Story 1: My grandparents were separated for my entire life and both had separate partners, they remained married and never divorced due to money matters as well and my grandmother kept his last name for similar reasons. This arrangement was completely understood and accepted by our family, and I didn't realize that this scenario may be considered a bit odd until much later in my life. My grandparents were cordial and there was no romantic aspect to their relationship after they decided to separate. While this situation mentioned may be different, I wouldn't assume that there's something going on behind the scenes just because of their arrangement.
I love episodes with your dad in it. He speak such wise words
When you watch this episode in September.😂😂
I am listening to this episode in September 😂😂
About the second story..I think it's super sus and my spidey senses are tingling....he wants her to uproot and go with him, with no financial independence and ASAP??? Red flag! Plus she already has a narc father aka she has blind spots in regards to being able to spot a narc before they do their "spell". I dunno...
For me, it's a RUN!
Omg Im having an opinion on all these today 😂 Disney girl - if you're saying you're terrified to be away from your bf for 6 months, you HAVE to do it. For your health and his and the relationship. You go lady, it'll be great 🥰
Hey Guys, Love your shows very inspired by what i call real "WALKIE TALKIE" from Loving Spirited Folks!!!
I am sorry if I am missing this but where do I write in at?? I have watched for almost a year between the channels. Found you through your daughter Morgan! Love what you guys have created
Thank you for the love!
I think morgan post the write in link on Instagram.. Btw, I do read all the comments and I’m delighted that listeners Blog and share their thoughts for the Op’s to read. Everyone’s comments have to help these folks take a solid conscious direction in their life paths. Jerry/Dad
I love yalls point of views. It’s not just porn. It’s emotional interactions. It’s cheating. My ex had an emotional relationship with one particular onlyfans person. It is cheating. It is a sexual relationship.
Love this podcast ❤️
First story, my mom and dad haven’t been married since I was 1 and she still has our last name lol and been with my “step dad” (not really married) for 15 years 😅
So when are we getting “let it percolate” mugs ☕️☕️☕️
Ticia, do you have a design or artwork in mind? Jerry/Dad
Ticia, I think your coffee cup idea is a good one, I will design something if you don’t want to. However, I think as it was your idea, either you do it or we do it together.. xo J
@@FatherKnowsSomething oh my god that is so cool, I am not a great designer so no idea how to do a mock up but I think something with the steam coming from a cute little percolator being the “let it percolate” quote.
Also just wanted to say Jerry I listen in from down here in Australia and love the advice you give, definitely helps with navigating life ❤️ Tish
honestly living near a barn and working with horses/ traveling the world working with horses sounds amazing. guy is passionate about work and passionate about her and wants her with him.....just sounds like they aren't compatible. if she was interested in that work or found a job where she can work remote or freelance then it would workout great.
the 2nd story resonated with me because my ex wanted me to move to the USA (i’m canadian) so we could live together. when I said i didn’t want to give up my life in canada and he should move here (mind you I have a house, he doesn’t and lives with his brother and 2 roommates) he broke it off because he didn’t want to leave the US. very hard situation, especially since he tried to propose to me twice I think to coerce me lol
Dude your dad is awesome. Bro the metaverse is wild. Loved this, I’m glad you all talked about these topics. I’m excited to see what else is in store for your this podcast!! You’ve all got my support, keep up the great work. I just uploaded a new podcast on my channel too!!
First story-- who tf cares she has his last name. Also once you're officially divorced, you have the option of changing your name... no extra cost. Maybe she's holding out. I got married little over 2 yrs ago. There's so many expenses and headaches that come with changing your name. Who knows how long they were married, or maybe she just prefers it. Everyone slaughtered my maiden name. It's easier with my married name.
21 and 36... huge red flag.
“Yeeeaah” 😂😂
This story: This is the first stages of abuse. Get out! Run! Find a roommate online so you can get out and be safe. Work extra jobs until you can get on your feet. He will hurt you. I’m an orphan. I know what it’s like to not have anyone in the world but guess what.. you can meet new people who can become a true family. Do not accept anything less than a healthy relationship and your safety.
Which story?
horse guy is fishy, why didn't he let the girlfriend stay in the barn when he wasn't away? why would they have to leave now, why can't she wait till the holidays? something is up, for sure. I wouldn't trust someone to pressure me away from my "dream job" that I recently got and I love, why is it now and not before?
Well I'm two months late but I hope the person going to do the Disney college program has a great time, hope they checked out some stuff from people that have been in the program coz I've heard some bad things about it so it'd be good that they're at least well informed prior or maybe reach out to former program students to get advice. I think it's a great opportunity for them to get away and grow and experience their dream. I also love in Michigan and I've been considering looking into studying abroad or something coz I feel I really need to branch out and getaway so I wish the best for us both 😊
Edit: I hadn't finished the episode when I wrote my comment 😂 Morgan said exactly how I feel I'm extremely anxious meeting new people (I was literally signing a petition or something the other day and was shaking uncontrollably that it was so difficult to even sign my name 😅) and I feel like I don't wanna leave everyone I know and love. However I also feel like the people I'm close to have grown dependent on me and I have with them, and we have gotten to the point I feel unwelcomed in my own home. So I really think it might be what I need. As well as I have a best friend home I've visited before and is coming to visit again soon that lives in Germany. And I really would love to be able to see her more often and I really liked Germany at least from what I saw so far to the point I've been really missing it the past couple years. Which this to me is very telling since I've been many places with and without family but I can't say I ever truly miss anywhere I've visited like Germany. I feel like maybe I should go study abroad there even for just a semester 🤷♀️
So on the moving story and what Morgan said about couples who move in together out of convenience being less happy: I can see that being true. My most recent ex and i just broke up after 3 yrs but still live together. He moved in with me bc of Covid and bc his roommate was moving out and screwing him over.
When hubby and I were just dating I ended up slowly moving in. He made it clear I was always welcome, I stayed over the weekend a few times and then at some point I just didn't go home anymore. We officially moved in together when we moved across the country to begin our married lives but we'd technically been living together for a year at that point.
I truly think you should try existing in the same place for a while before you marry, just to feel out if you can cooperate for an extended period of time. A week long vacation or staycation works, let's you find out the little weird things about each other (like one of you snores only after working a double shift or one of you absolutely hates doing the dishes and would rather deal with the laundry. Basically playing house.)
My dad and his ex are still married, they have been separated for over 35 years. We have zero contact with her. My parents have been together for 35 years. So it happens and it can work if they want it too.
Francis, Thank you for your families reality. One think certain in life there are alway exception to a rule…
The people within the events/stories just have to all be on the same page to enable it to work without friction.
It’s important that the folks relating to these stories see other peoples experiences.. Again thank you for participating. Dad/Jerry
what if...I'm listening to this in september....
I’m not sure if this will be seen since this episode was from 2 years ago. Story 1, my ex and I lived in different states, but I divorced him for minimal cost. I was able to file paperwork through the court in my state to run an add in my local newspaper announcing my intention to divorce and the court date. I told the court I was unable to locate him. When he didn’t show my divorce was granted.
With the open relationship one, If you do that and let him have flings … is he also helping with the kids? Does he do chores and help out at home? Or are you just gunna be a baby machine and care taker of his house while he pays the bills and fucks around? That’s not and equal relationship, you’re not being fulfilled with someone who makes you feel like you are not enough, you can not be fullfilled by someone who doesn’t help you with the kids and home you’ve made together and gives you nothing emotionally or physically, are you having organisms, having help with the home, getting breaks from the kids, being told you’re beautiful and a great mom and is he feeding your love language the way you need?
What I’m generally missing in stories you guys discuss are details. For instance on story 3: it’s not that she doesn’t want to end the relationship, she doesn’t have anywhere to go! Great that you are advising her to break up with the boyfriend without losing the relationship with the mother in law, but she CAN’T GO ANYWHERE! That’s the part she wants advise on, what can she do in order to make it work until she can go somewhere else.
I love this podcast (and two hot takes) and the insights, but please pay a little bit more attention to details 😉❤️
Renee’ , I hear you on this one. As O.P. Wishes to have a friend with the mother, in situations or life change don’t we sometimes share these changes with our friends and seek there involvement in working together in finding the next step or solutions, Especially when we find ourselves disabled dues to mental exhaustion. So the bond between the mother/friend can scope the classifieds/real estate rentals and other places to find a living option… if money is the issue maybe there are some other work opportunities to seek out.. this is the detail first line of actions that come to mind… Jerry
@@FatherKnowsSomething thanks for the reply Jerry! Didn’t expect one, so major fan girling over here 🙈 I hope you and your family had a lovely Christmas and Boxing Day! 🎄 much love and thanks again from the Netherlands ♥️
WWJD-What Would Jerry Do
Cassandra, WWJD in regards to ??
About the name change… I read a bit through comments and I agree that it’s a hassle to change your name back. Especially worse if you’re living in US but are Canadian or something like that. And, I personally know people that got their doctoral degrees and don’t want to change their name back because it wouldn’t match their professional name anymore and they didn’t want to have to explain it to anyone ever because it’s personal life issues.
So the name change itself shouldn’t matter.
But yes, agree with dad, Morgan and Justin that without knowing more it’s hard to say what else can be going on in that relationship. And that if you do get married in the future he’d have to get divorced anyway so it’s just a matter of time.
My current boyfriend moved in with after 3 - 4 weeks cause he lived in his friends basement and now we are happily together 1 year now and living together has been great! (My current boyfriend has been my best friend since I was 11 so everything came natural)
i would 100% go travel the world w my partner and not have to work. you can work later that sounds like a dream. would finish out the year and then tell the school what the plan is so they can find someone to possible replace her
Story #1 seems a little ridiculous to me, if you’re worried about the ex having your bf’s last name- don’t date a married man! Whether they’re together or not, it’s his wife. She has his last name, get over it 🤷🏻♀️
You make me wish I had a dad jajahahah
That is why we are doing this.. Thank you for your support, and appreciation. Jerry/Dad
3rd story - Also if you are still in college please research, they might offer some kind of programs for struggling students like therapy or some kind of group meetings. It will not solve your financial troubles, but it may help you move on.
On the first story: my fathers first wife still has his name. MY parents have been married 25 years, too.
I’d like to input i think the 2nd story if she’s a teacher (I didn’t hear if she was or not) sometimes if she breaks her contract and stops working there mid year she could lose her teaching credential
Not getting divorced is one thing, but changing your name is a pain in the ass. I changed my last name end of 2014 when I turned 18 and there's still government departments that still use my birth name because govt departments don't talk to each other... Unless there's money involved lol
@34:30 Thank you...
I'm in a similar situation except he is not toxic I think I just fell out of love... I'm 21 and have no idea what love even is anymore at this point.
Me listening to this in September 😳
To be fair my Dad was separated from his ex wife for a long time before they got a legal divorce. He couldn't afford a divorce attorney and she wouldn't do it through mediation. Sometimes divorces take time to be legal.
I was 14 when I met my fiancé (next month he will be my husband) and we have 2 beautiful children. I am 21. We went through hard times and some seriously dumb fights. But he never treated me in such an awful way. I am so sorry you’re going through this and I am sending nothing but love your way ❤
You can have your attorney put into the divorce decree that you want to go back to your maiden name or change it to a completely different name. Then your name change is free, with the exception of, the cost for new IDs, passport, etc.
first story... seems like the relationship isn't going anywhere unless she wants to essentially be his mistress for life...if he's not interested in getting married...usually that's the end goal of a relationship..do you want to have kids with this guy even if he's married to someone else? hmm....
We need socks!!!
My mom and dad didn’t get divorced until I was 21 but haven’t been together since I was 1. Lmao not everyone can really afford divorce 🤣
My grandpa & his ex wife are still legally married but they haven’t been together in YEARS
thats so weird re couples making a conscious decision to move in. my partner and I moved in together after a couple of months out of necessity (he needed a place to crash for a bit).. 12 years later, we're now married and he still hasn't moved out :))
What’s the secret? That’s amazing. It was interesting research but we’re so unique and everyone’s so different -m
There are no financial reasons that exist if they aren’t living together…
I feel like that girl needs to get out of that place with the verbally abusive boyfriend
I have a friend who got married when his gf was pregnant but they separated when the baby was less than a year and the mom has nothing to do with him or their daughter but she won't give him a divorce and their daughter is 13
Losing another family. I understand why you're hesistant, but you might have an ally in his mother as she may not want to lose you either. Maybe, approach her, give her a hug, tell her how grateful you are to have her and say, "Things aren't going so well between "X" and we have grown apart and want different things. I don't want to hurt you and don't want to lose you; but I need to move on and wanted to come to you as respect everything you have done and how you've been there for me over the years. In order to continue my growth and be happy and healthy I can't be with him anymore." She may have noticed his behavior changes and be waiting to be asked her opinion. Be clear that you also don't want to put her in the middle and you understand if she needs distance from you. She may totally supportive and remind you that all that matters are both you and your boyfriend's health and happiness. Even in she doesn't want contact at first, maybe she made need space temporarily and come back around later. Good luck OP. I'm praying for you. God bless.
To the open relationship story:
You can't be in any successful relationship, especially an open one, without trust. This man can't be trusted, leave his ass.
Another person listening in September😅
Saudi Arabia has lots of fun activities for women we are not stuck in are rooms!!
I’ll never get porn, if you want to get off and you’re physically attracted to your long term partner, why wouldn’t you just be like “hey i’m frisky and i have physical needs to be met” porn seems so sneaky and gross, you’re looking at someone else getting off and hiding, seeking privacy and pleasing yourself while leaving your partner and their physical needs out on the cold. It’s just not okay with me, masterbarion is for teenagers and young single people exploring their sexuality and learning their bodies and sexual needs. Once you’re in a committed relationship you shouldn’t need to do that, you can’t love someone without loving yourself, works the same way for sexual health, if you know how to get yourself off, when you’re with a long term partner they should learn how to do that for you as you build your relationship and bond. If you still need to get yourself off, that’s not the relationship for you and you’re probably not meeting the sexual needs of your partner if they are also not meeting yours.
From my perspective, my partner isn’t my personal s*x doll. If I am wanting to be intimate my partner isn’t under any obligation to have s*x or get me off it’s MY problem. Masterbation/self touch is healthy and should be encouraged!
It sounds like my mom literally posted the first one. Although I do not know if the ex-wife still uses my moms boyfriends last name.
another pov on the divorce ones even if they do go threw with a divorce and it gets finalised she sill may not change her name my parents are divorced and mum keeps my dads last name so she kept the same last name as me and my sister. dose she have any interest in my dad? absolutely not so why dose the last name matter so much there are so Manny other people in the world who share the same last name that have no relations to this man so dose she want them to go change they're names as well?