Episode 1: Anatomy of a Deadbeat | Bad Bad Babydad Podcast
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- Опубліковано 17 вер 2024
- Welcome to the very first episode of Bad Bad Babydad with Mia Tyler and JayDee Milo!
Today we're discussing what makes a deadbeat--narcissism? Addiction? Just being an a-hole?
Comment below and let us know what you think!
Don’t even get me started on the family court an dead beat dads 😂😭😭🤣💯
The worst is a bitter dead beat dad that does false child abuse claims😭
This is true and females do this on the daily. Lies, false allegations towards the father, shit talking the father to the kids, this is very normal for females.
That's been happening to me for 17 years 😭
How does that go exactly?? What's the defense?
I agree with the deadbeat dude before he becomes a deadbeat dad. Some pretend that they will be a hands on dad or help in the community and have a reputation for being a “great guy” but behind the mask at home refuse to contribute to parental duties or disappear altogether. They have almost ten months to also mentally prepare for their child being born into this world, and most of them choose to not do that work. No research, parenting classes or videos, or refuse to change or prepare to change their lifestyle to accommodate a child.
This!!! You described my ex to a tee❤
You got it! ✊🏼
I always did everything. I just did it, every night because I couldn’t NOT do it.
❤❤❤❤ you're amazing!!
My personality has totally changed. And it continued to change during the last 3 years of motherhood and experiencing the abuse from my sons dad and watching him treat my son the way he does. Being pregnant 4yrs ago was miserable with the symptoms of pregnancy plus the abuse. Like i was sick 8 months all day every day. I couldnt keep anything down. As an infant your child needs you so much and experiencing abuse while being everything n more your child needs.
The reason why the girls love and except you as a male and a safe space ..... is because your not a threat, your experience and content is accurate and relatable.
Most of all your like one of the girls😘
Thankyou for bringing light about the court system and how the evidence you think will help will be thrown out sometimes. Then having to give every other weekend and being terrified is the exact thing im dealing with. I also have to deal with my bds mom. It feels like I'm in a counterparenting relationship with the gma and the bd. It is so chaotic. I hate when people say just take him to court. You can't explain this type of shit to people that have no idea. I hope your video's get tons of views so they are more educated .
The worst part is when the judge has sentenced the baby daddy multiple times. From drug charges to multiple domestic violence But wants to give them a chance to be a dad.
Omg it’s so bad and worse when the judge gives unsupervised visits! 😢
@@nicolecox4524 that was the worst day and trying to explain it to your child who is already scared of the father.
This 🙌🏼😞
They don’t care about kids
THIS 100000%! I've had the same judge for support, my pfa, and custody and after 6/7 hearings they finally realized how much of a POS he is
This is my life! It's so hard and painful for the Mothers & there children. You really need to watch the tips and tricks on how to deal with a narcissist. It will be one of the most challenging situations you will ever have to deal with
When you speak about post separation abuse you are speaking the truth! My divorce took 2.5 years due to Covid and it was awful. More ppl need to know about this!! And the courts definitely aren’t for the best of the child- they want what is best for the court.
The deadbeat man theory is point on!
Great start and I’m here for it! 💗💗
This is such an amazing start! I’m so excited for you! Can’t wait to hear the next episode.
Yes court need more work smh 🤦♀️
What can we do to change the court system??? What can we do to save our kids?? What can we do!???? Let’s get together to change this !!
I love everything about this!!!!!! Thank you guys for being our voice ❤❤❤ BUILD-a-family 😂
Can't wait for more videos!
Keisha Dixon
Congratulations on your first episode! You two are off to a fantastic start! However, it's essential to remember that each case is unique. In my situation, our court proceedings have lasted for 14 years (this case started when my children were 3 & 7), and interference from those unaware of the history has led to more significant harm to the children. As a woman, minority, and military combat veteran, I have my three strikes on top of dealing with being in a men's court and sprinkle that with triangulation and a dash of demonizing. You could not believe the sigma, stereotypes and social expectations (placed on such a delicate flower like me). It is unbelievable. Unfortunately, my deployment was used against me as abandonment, abuse, and neglect. The last visit I had with my daughter was in 2014. The last visit I had with my son was in 2016. My children are now 17 & 21. I waved the white flag at the last court hearing on September 11, 2023, but we still have to return to court in April 2024.
TO EVERYONE, before anyone gets involved, please ASK QUESTIONS and conduct thorough RESEARCH. Your good intentions could do more harm than good to the children and the individual.
Mia is right! Using the divided plates can lead to feeding issues! But a kid also might just want more control over their food or it might just look differently than they expected it to
Ty for this, loving this conversation and look forward to more! What’s interesting is dads who give money, but not time…or time but not money. I will say my daughters dad has heavy unresolved trauma, addiction issues etc. He’s had some help, never stuck with therapy or rehab etc consistently to really grow. However, Im also in recovery and have trauma and I chose healing and chose that for the sake of our child. For so long I felt bad for him and went above and beyond, but I had to realize at this point in life he’s aware he has issues and it has to be him who wants the help and that if he’s toxic which unfortunately he is he cannot be in our child’s life because he couldn’t and wouldn’t be consistent, healthy etc for our child at all and I just got to the point I couldn’t stand by and watch her be rejected and have anymore emotional trauma and as she got older she expressed not wanting a relationship with him because of his actions, or lack thereof. It’s been a hard road, But I’m glad I did what my mom wasn’t strong enough to do and that’s put my daughter first and make sure she is around love and stability. Some people say negative things about single moms, however I’d rather my daughter see me single, happy, at peace, surrounded by love then in a relationship being mistreated, and all the things. It’s definitely been freeing and I’ll never regret doing it alone for the sake of my daughter having a better emotional environment. Ty for making this a conversation.
Just breaks my heart. I don’t know how ANYONE could kill their own children.
But so many great points on here. 💜
I started out with sole legal custody years ago. Then I had modified joint legal custody, which meant I was the deciding factor if we couldn’t agree. All he had to do was say, he wanted to see his child during a zoom hearing. Then he threw his clipboard in his truck and stared out the window for the rest of the proceeding, including when the judge was directly, asking him questions, and he still got 50-50.
In Indiana, the guidelines are very specific and detailed for each developmental age. Fortunately, Indiana also states that when parents have made child rearing a battleground, joint custody is not recommended. So I’m hoping to get sole legal custody again. I didn’t even have to fight to get it the last time. Her father ignored the court for six months, and then no-showed the day of the hearing. It defaulted to me. I actually was naïve enough to think that, after that, it would be smooth sailing. that was a year ago and he has made my life a living hell ever since.
I’m dealing with a narcissistic baby daddy. He pays child support, only because it is taken from his paycheck. I’m so lucky that I have an amazing husband now, but I still get a stigma for getting child support like I’m less of a person for getting child support.
Everything you guys touched on tonight is so close to home!!!
I love you n makes me so happy to know people see us single moms ❤❤
Yes so love this u all nailed it 🙌
Hi this is Tanya we spoke on the phone today . Thank you so much for taking the time to speak to me . I appreciate you so much .
Amazing! Super relatable. Scary relatable. ❤️
You truly are amazing!
I am happy to be on this podcast journey with you!! This is awesome❤️
I love this podcast! Im a single mama of 4 && this podcast helps a lot. ❤️❤️
I didn't know there was a term for what my ex puts me through until watching your videos. Post separation abuse. Thank you so much for this!
I’m so excited for this
This is real life and we need more topics like this !
Fantastic. Just brilliant. So glad you’ve started this podcast ! Absolutely loving your mix of fun and laughter with talking about the cold hard truth. ✨
I cry all the time. Eveeything gets me. I also couldnt imagine doing even half of half of what my babydad does. I couldnt imagine not having my son at any given time. When i went to meet my now fiance for the first time i literally called my son every second possible. My sons dad was so good at hiding who he was. Iv experienced every abuse possible.
I found it impossible to coparent with someone who didn't want to parent at all.
Never beg your kids' dad to be present for them. If he wants it, he will be there.
Omg I've never heard of Triangular but this is so my baby daddy I've lost so many friends and pushed away family because they believe him he's a narcissist
Watching and liked honey! Always support you J!!
Thank you, Mia! Everything you said is exactly what I felt and am feeling! From pregnancy to being a mom everyday. You do change completely and no one else gets it until you go though it yourself.
SPOT ON WITH THE SINGLE DAD SH*T
You are so right on. Thank you so much. It’s such a breath of fresh air to feel so understood. It was like the entire time you were talking about what I’m going through ❤️
Oh, snap, you came up on my UA-cam!! Love it!! ❤Your content is SO SPOT ON I swear your content heals my soul. Especially the church lady 😂😂
Excited to hear the podcast
Thank you for this important discussion! We have the same issues in Wisconsin. We had to use a parenting app for an annual fee of around $120, because the judge wasn’t familiar with Talking Parents, and my ex refused to use the free one. The standard is 50/50, but that isn’t the state law. Thank you for your work with Piqui’s Law 💜 We need light shed on the situation in WI.
We really do! I filed in March of 21 for child support as ex walked out at 8 weeks pregnant. I gave him 4 months before realizing he didn’t want to be present. He doesn’t show and there’s still no order
I'm so happy for you! Congratulations on this and many many more good things to come for you in life! ❤❤
Yesss. Guys either change or don’t. Mine was seriously perfect. When I was 8 weeks along he left because “I’ve changed”. He doesnt do anything for her. She just turned two in november.
I LOVE that you have started this podcast!!!! ❤️ Maybe one day it will be on Spotify so I can listen at work too!!
So happy for you and the show❤ I wanna be on here.
Oh I love that about judges!
Love you and this podcast! So relatable
I think the thing to recognise most importantly, is that changing their priorities and responsibilities once a child is born for men is essentially optional. Most don't experience the abrupt 'rebirth' of their identities like that of a mother.
I am going to court next week. Im nervous this could happen. My court situation is crazy seeing what my sons dad is asking for. Its 100% not black and white. There are so many aspect in play
Yes where I from I begged my judge to only allow contact through TalkingParents. This way it was not a he she said battle, and he actually granted it he agreed because I allowed open communication through that.
I had similar scenario. It’s awful when judges let them have unsupervised visits. I agree. The judges need educated. I was so abused via text and email and I understand exactly what you are describing.
@@nicolecox4524 yes, the bd was in his court room for other charges and the judge said ok well kids need their dad. Wait wait he had 3 pending felony charges! Plus 5 misdemeanor. But yes let’s confuse this child and add more trauma and confusion. In the event you actually sentence him.
GREAT JOB GREAT SHOW JAYDEE 👏🏾
And your off, couldn’t be more excited for this … I’m here for it all LFG!!!!!!!
It totally does go back to how your raised . When I first met my ex his biggest complaint in life was that my dad never played ball with me. Everyone that I've ever met that's known my ex since he was a little boy has said that his babysitter raised him because his mother and father were too busy putting their lives first. 7 years later they had another child and his father retired and he saw his father do everything with his brother that he never did with him . He was never a parent to my daughter. Except if you know how it feels you should be doing everything in your power to not repeat the pattern. I think sometimes it's a very good cop out.
This had me in tears of how real it all is. You are amazing. Listening to you has helped me cope with so much.
I'm five minutes into listening to this podcast and Mia was talking about the moms walking away and that hit way too close to home. I was raised by a single dad for that reason. I'm a single mother of 3 fighting to see my kids. If you guys ever want a guest I would love to chime in on that perspective.
The answer to why you don't cover single dad's in your skits etc.... is because this is based off your experience with your mom as a witness to her being single mom.
You guys this was so great and almost theraputic
I was so sick I couldn't glow. I lost 40 pounds I did not feel beautiful. But now as a mom I do feel that glow.
Tbh mines ain’t seeing my child without supervision especially of his well known background.
Wow, you’re so right. It’s never just about the “cinnamon”. I see my 7 year old twins going about their lives and there’s constant moments where I see them and I just want to cry. Their father walked out of their lives when they were 1 1/2. So they’ve never known what it’s like to have a father. I see that gap he’s left in our lives.
loved this!!
Great episode! I am SO excited to hear more. And the set looks awesome too. Thank you for telling the world about our pain. We love you Jay!
Subbed instantly from Instagram! Love you. Thank you for seeing us.❤
Ahhh thank you baby!! Love you too!!
Omg 😲 😢 the supervised visit
Thank you for doing this and being real about it. You're giving a voice to the voiceless
Love this! Looking forward to the next episode.
This was great!! I cant wait to see the next one!!!! Love the energy and love the connection of you both!
I refuse to even start dating after 2 years of ending my abusive narcissistic relationship because I know I have a lot of work to do on myself . I realized that I pick the worst men . It's so different now that I am a mom . It's not just about me . And, I refuse to be the kind of mom that has my daughter see mom go from relationship to relationship.
Mom here that is roles reversed. He won in court when it got nasty. I moved. He painted me as bad.. people still to this day say to me they don’t know how.. and me neither. I still ask to see our kid.
P.S. the emotional abuse stuff you talked about will stay with you ( just relating ). I had to go to counseling for along time and it helped, but some days are harder than others.
Love this
The court is a joke. My ex was a homeless and an addict, the judge told me its discrimination to use his drug addiction against him. Dropped 15 thousand dollars off his child support and gave him visits. He lived in cars yet had access to my kids because his mom let him have visits in her house. It's mind-blowing.
great pod ❤
Love you guys for doing this. Looking forward to the episodes to come 🎉
I am SO thankful I found your podcast!!
Also, my bd checks all boxes, except mom enabling him. Including new girlfriend & baby on the way..... He is on family number FOUR.
My kids father is a clown and his gf ? Bigger clown smh who tf don't care for their kids. It's gross
OMG I can go on and on
Everything you saying is so true!!
The mom bond ❤ 🥰 🔄
Hey mamacita. Are you on IG?
OMG I have a ton of comments based on the content you shared!!!
My ex said I was a “worthless excuse for a mother” in an email… After a year and a half of no contact. It was the second time he had gone over a year without seeing our child. This was because I had sole legal custody. This was after 5 1/2 years of him not being involved in her medical care or therapies. He has been telling anyone who will listen for years that I’m the reason why he doesn’t have a relationship with his daughter. Meanwhile, he testified earlier this year that after August 2021, he just gave up trying. Kinda interesting, huh? His new supply and his mother were there and heard everything. How embarrassing to sit in court, and hear that he’s been lying about all of this for years.
100000%%% agree with a deadbeat man before deadbeat man for sure so true & the enabler mother so trueeeeeeeee
I'm so excited for this! I haven't made it to any of the zooms but would really like to try to make it to one. You're amazing and thank you!!
I'm excited for your new show! So, if we are going to repeatedly double back on male violence 🙄 and how female violence exists too 🙄...let's figure out how many men are violent - if 98% of violent crime is committed by men, and 1 in 3 women have experienced male violence? There is a spectrum of male violence from coercive control to the wars raging all over the world. 👍. And we really don't need to make constant retractions when we talk about this guys. Otherwise - amazing job on this!
Just Jay practically describing my baby’s dad to a T. We deserve/d so much better.
My ex husband only pulls up to take selfies with my son, then he leaves tops 10-15 mins later and then doesn’t pull up for another month or 2. He just wants to show his kid to his new girlfriend. It’s kinda disgusting
This was really good sorry for all the comments I literally commented to parts that was said. Keep this going 💜💙🫶
I also think you're either born with the WANT to be a parent or not. No amount of anything will MAKE you be a parent IF you don't shutter the thought of not being in the child's life.
❤❤
We love you ❤
Thank you for this!
Love
I never knew what to do when my child was at play dates or scouts. I alwats sat in the car outside until he was 15.
I probably wouldn’t listen if there was a single Dad was on here.
On the topic of microchimerism and healing of the heart . It me wonder if my daughter in actuality helped me to live through the timespan i was with my ex . I thought maybe I was protecting her , but maybe she was Gods answer to protecting me .
THANK YOU
UA-cam for not allowing me to subscribe!!!!!
Being facetious
I absolutely love you, you help me through a lot. I really wish I could zoom with you
I tried to help a Mother whom I perceived to be a victim. I helped her for three months and she did nothing but live off me and had worked under the table jobs that payed barely anything to avoid her ex husband and child
Yeah they don’t think about the kid and what it can affect them too , this why I don’t want to even put her in the damn court stuff because as much I try to explain get ignored at times. Yea it’s good a survivor escapes and sucks the ones have to go through it. Then the kids intend to be troubled.
Yes you only can give chances. Especially if they don’t even want to go through court because they don’t like court or more.
🤦♀️