Are you one of the 1% with OCPD or is it your best friend? (Part 1 of 3 - How to identify OCPD)
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- Опубліковано 20 бер 2017
- Are you one of the 1% with OCPD or is it your best friend? (Part 1 of 3 - How to identify OCPD) Episode 002
An estimated minimum of 1% of the US population suffers from OCPD, but what even is it? In this episode, I discuss what having OCPD means in a general sense. Are you someone that struggles to maintain relationships due to your rigidity, or are you someone that has someone in their life that they love, but just can’t stand being around? Let’s see if OCPD fits the bill.
Part 2: • Knowing you have OCPD ...
Part 3: • So you have OCPD, what...
Email your questions to:
rawreactions@ocpd.org
to have them answered in an episode.
Articles referenced:
www.ocdonline.com/the-right-s...
dsm.psychiatryonline.org/doi/f...
iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/...
www.healthline.com/health/obse...
www.verywell.com/ocd-vs-obses...
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...
psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/...
The International OCPD Foundation:
www.ocpd.org
1:1 Video or Call Consultation & Support:
intro.co/DarrylRossignol
clarity.fm/ocpd/expertise/ocp...
Instagram:
/ ocpd_my_life_in_debris
OCPD: My Life In Debris is a channel dedicated to helping sufferers of obsessive compulsive personality disorder and those dealing with the people in their life that are afflicted with this personality disorder. We will delve into topics covering detailed explanations of the disorder, exploring treatment options, interviews with sufferers, how to live with the disorder, interviews with those that have people in their life with OCPD, and talks with treatment professionals. In addition, we will explore personality disorders and mental health disorders and how to navigate the world when these are a part of your daily life.
最近、日本でパーソナリティ障害クラスターC 群がますます増えてきている点で、私注意 を引きました。こようなことが起きている理由を説明する困難ですが、日本文化がそ 一端を担っていると考える不自然でないでしょう。チャネルアナリティクスを確認し てみると、私コンテンツにアジア、特に日本から関心が寄せられていることがわかりま す。こチャンネル目的、できるだけ多く人にメッセージを届け、役に立ててもらうことな で、動画を日本語字幕付きで提供することにしました。コンテンツ、特に「強迫性パーソナ リティ障害」をテーマにしています。強迫性パーソナリティ障害、日本でも多く見られる強迫 性障害と別疾患です。強迫性パーソナリティ障害、略して OCPD と呼れており、また 文献上で強迫性パーソナリティ障害 (Anankastic personality disorder (APD)) とも呼れて います。OCPD 、白か黒か思考と完璧主義的な特徴を持つ障害です。実際特徴、 るかに複雑ですが、それを説明するために動画を用意しました。内容がお役に立てれ、ある い少なくとも情報として参考にしていただけれ幸いです。ご覧いただきありがとうございま した。また、以下にお気軽にコメントをお寄せください。
用語説明
強迫性パーソナリティ障害
強迫性
完璧
完璧主義者
完璧な
完璧主義
メンタルヘルス
うつ病
不安
#mentalhealth
#ocpd
#perfectionism
#depression
#anxiety
#obsessivecompulsivepersonalitydisorder
#ocd
My husband was diagnosed with ocpd and depression... he refused to get help bc he believed his way of thinking was the right way and everyone else was wrong, he passed away from suicide last year... your videos have been very helpful in understanding more about what my husband was going through.
That is gut wrenching and heartbreaking. I cannot imagine what you’ve gone through. If you ever have any specific questions, please feel free to PM me. I wish there was more I could say. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I’m in tears right now, I finally have a name for whats wrong with me. Thank you.
Mark Nicholson it is always heartbreaking to read these types of messages. I feel relief that someone out there may now have the chance to address the parts of themselves that are holding them back from having the best life possible. But I'm always disheartened to learn of another person having to go through this.
Me too!!! I've been trying to figure out what my fucking problem is my entire life and I'm 50!
I'm 29 years old and for the last 15 years or so I'd been trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I realised I have OCPD a couple of days ago when my colleague pointed out my obsession with order and perfection.
Most of my traits match the description of OCPD and DPD. I also carry few characteristics of APD which is all part of Cluster C personality disorder.
My personal and professional life is a mess and a big failure. I've never been able to have a romantic relationship and I feel depressed on most days. Though I used to have suicidal thoughts in my early years, it's now in control.
I want to have a normal life and see at least a tiny bit of success in personal and professional life. If any of you have been able to win this over. Please share your journey. Your help is very much appreciated. Thanks.
My dad is that, except being depressed or something like that.. He's happy in his circles that he's established..
i've been diagnosed with ocpd and find it difficult to put into words the way i experience things, but you've done it perfectly. thank you for this informative video!
You are very welcome. Thank you so much for watching. If you ever have a topic like you'd like to hear about let me know :)
How do you get diagnosed with OCPD if part of the disorder is such extreme avoidance that one is in denial about all of one's issues?
@@miriamw.2278Well, that’s sort of the issue. A lot of people with OCPD are undiagnosed because they aren’t able to see the issue in themselves. I suppose you just have to learn to see things from other people’s perspective, and other people themselves can help you with that, too.
Thank Jesus for you so much, I am a black male 50 years old, I kinda new about myself being obsessive and compulsive, I also noticed that I have had an very addictive personality most of my lifetime, but I'm not dismantled by having this, just really want to get much much better with myself 👍🏿
Hewie Heww thanks so much for sharing your situation. I'm not sure if you're in any sort of therapy or not, but it's something that I can't stress enough. I'm putting together a foundation to try and present therapy in new, less stigmatizing ways. But in the meantime, I'll continue to spread the message that everyone can benefit from therapy. If not therapy, but you'd still like to get better with yourself, I would also suggest practicing mindfulness and maybe some version of meditation. If you have any specific questions, I'm always here down in the comments.
Thank you for letting yourself be known. I fell in love less than a year ago and soon became consumed by a cycle of feeling not being good enough for him and wanting to leave his lack of open perception, to feeling happy again, to wondering why he’s gone cold, to happy, and so on. I took his criticisms of what needs to change with me to heart, but they’re wearing down my self esteem and I feel like he’ll never love me “warts and all” like I love him. This past weekend he told me he has OCPD, and it makes a lot of sense. I’m currently internally battling whether I’m strong enough to continue this relationship or not, but love him too much to be successful at leaving him. Your videos are giving me clues as to whether or not I can do this, I hope I can but need to accept if I can’t. A long winded thank you for your bravery.
Maggie as you well know, I am very familiar with the situation you are in right now. Only you can know what is best for you. I hope my videos are offering you the sort of insight you are looking for, but you can always ask questions if you feel you need to. And thank you for the kind words. Please take care.
I'm a woman and I have both OCPD and BPD (borderline personality disorder).
Maya I can't imagine. I hope that you're getting the help you deserve.
Great idea for a channel, dude! I have OCPD, so I know the living hell it is and how little known this personality disorder is. Unfortunately, most people have never even heard of it... I've already subscribed, keep up the good job!
Hi Milu,
So happy that someone with OCPD has seen one of my videos :) It's no easy feat putting myself out there, so I'm really hoping that there's something positive that comes from doing this. Thanks so much for watching.
I just got diagnosed with this literally a month ago and had no idea it was even a thing. Had to do my own digging and I just want you to know how much your videos have helped me and been able to make me feel less alone when I want to break down
+Emily Mousseau well I'm sorry that this is what you've been diagnosed with as I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am happy that you have actually been properly diagnosed, as being diagnosed and accepting the diagnosis is the start of the best case scenario for someone with OCPD. Now that you know what it is, you can understand yourself better and decide how you want to move forward. Some people choose to live with it and others seek treatment. Either way, you're more than welcome to ask me any questions you might have and I'll do my best with them. Thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot to hear that and you're definitely not alone.
All I can say is. Wow. I'm In a divorce. I was certain my husband was narcissistic. He fits the bill well however not completely. OCPD nails him. I hope he finds help. I can't be his emotional strength. He's taken me down to where I don't know who I am anymore. I feel oh so sorry for him.
Karla Scott considering the negative impact he's had on your life and the amount of energy and hard work I'm sure the relationship was, it's nice to know that you still hope he gets the help he needs. I hope he does as well.
I get very motivated by watching your videos! Keep it up man!
Thanks for the encouragement. New video tomorrow :)
Yep! I’m close to someone with that diagnosis and it’s a living hell
browneyedgirl428 that is not an uncommon feeling. I hope that you are finding ways to cope.
Thank you for the videos. I was diagnosed years ago and found that no one had a clue, including some health providers. I appreciate hearing from people who know and understand.
Leslie Johnson you are very welcome. I hope that you've found better help since first being diagnosed. Thanks for watching.
Your reaching me Darryl. THANK YOU! I really need this today.
Scott Cameron thank for letting me know that and you're completely welcome. Comments such as yours lift me up as well. I've had some recent setbacks and I've been feeling like I'm letting people down, but there will be new content soon. The channel is still very much alive.
Keep up the great work my friend. I look forward to more videos as you document your journey. You inspire me with your courage and strength.
Thanks again for your support this week. It means a lot to hear those things. New video today ;)
Hi there,
Great video! i watched twice in a row. I really appreciate what you're doing! This is AWESOME!
The main reason I came to your video is because I want to be able to put myself into the mind and body my best friend who's diagnosed with OCPD. I want to be able to show more empathy to him and learn how to properly approach him when I believe his actions might be either hurting him or the people around him. Sorry for the long comment but I decided to share a bit of context here.
My housemate has been diagnosed with OCPD when he was like 17. Today he's 26. We've been living in the same house for almost 4 years now so I know him quite well. Many questions used to arise at home not only by me but also by other housemates as to why he does things the way he does. I think as he gained our trust he finally mentioned about the disorder and how this followed his whole childhood.
He told us that he is able to switch his personality according to different scenarios: when he's alone, interacting with people he trust, and interacting with strangers, co-workers, classmates. He mentioned that a coworker once approached him at a train station, they tried talking for a bit but it didn't go so well. He says that his alone time is primal and that he enjoyed a lot getting out of the office and straight away putting his earbuds, listening to his exact set of tracks, getting the exact same train, picking up food from similar places, and making his way back home. The other day that coworker came to him in the office and shared that he felt my housemate was a total different person at the train station. I found it so intriguing and it gave me more clues as to what happens into his head.
Another thing that he shared with us is about his perfectionism. He puts SOOOO MUCH discipline in whatever he starts, with an incredible amount of research prior to action and details during action.
Once he decided to try lifting weights with me at the gym for the very first time in his life at age 23. I've never seen someone get so much results at the gym like this guy. He takes forever to choose a movie to watch and ends up reading so many reviews that decides not to watch the movie anymore. He knows all the directors, actors names, TV shows, etc. He's the NETFLIX himself! It's incredible, trust me. If you need a great movie to watch, ask my housemate, he will be spot on, but may never ever watched that movie. Another thing, he once started to learn how to play a guitar and again, so much discipline into it, practicing every day, made him play some amazing songs finger style. It's amazing what he does with that guitar. Do you know what dream he has? Go to a subway station and play his guitar endlessly like there's no tomorrow. We keep telling him his play is amazing and he should just go out and try, be open to the outcomes. But he says he's not good enough for it yet. Isn't this hurting him? He doesn't think so, but to me, it's his dream, and he'll never feel ready for it, so he'll never see that dream coming true...it's kinda sad.
How about the things that he DOESN'T start? How about the things that he told us he started but feels DONE with it and STUCK, because he claims that he achieved his original goal? He stopped getting results at the gym and stopped learning new songs with the guitar, not to mention that it's very rare for a movie to trigger his curiosity at a point of making him watching it entirely.
He claims that he likes his OCPD because it makes him efficient in whatever he does and that he's also afraid to meet another strange self if he goes into treatment.
Sorry for the long comment but I believe it may be helpful to others who live with someone diagnosed with OCPD. Thank you so much for your video and for reading my comment.
Pedro Costa thank you for the enthusiastic feedback! I appreciate anyone that takes the time to leave a comment, and it's especially nice as you're someone that is out there trying to assuage your desire to be more empathetic. It's great what you are doing for your housemate.
I can relate to much of what you discuss. The preparation for a task can take such an unnecessary amount of time that I never get around to the task. If I start something and feel like I'm not good at it right away, it makes me want to walk away from it altogether. However, being able to embrace our imperfect nature and to learn to accept the failures as learning lessons and as part of life is what allows us to truly move forward and to accomplish great things.
Steve Jobs is a good example that comes up a lot. He built a company that is universally known and is loved by many, but he was disliked by most people. There are a very small minority of people that can be happy in life never building interpersonal relationships of any kind. But more often than not the person suffering with OCPD that keeps everyone at arms length is very unhappy. Even more so if at the same time they are not reaching their goals because the timing is never right for them.
I hope that at some point your friend chooses to open himself up to treatment. All of the relationships in his life will benefit and in turn he will benefit. Thank you for being such a good friend to someone with OCPD and thanks for the comment.
Love your videos. Subscribed.
the magenta line thank you so much for letting me know. I have three videos ready to upload as soon as I can find the time to finish the thumbnails and upload. So there will actually be new content very soon. Cheers for subscribing.
Amazing job! Thank you so much for what you are doing.
Back 2 Good thank you so much. That means a lot. I'm taking some time off this month to post some new content. So a week or two and there should be two new videos up.
Thank you for your channel!
I am a female with OCPD and finding anything online other than criteria from the DSM 5 or ICD 10 is very difficult.
It is nice to be able to relate to certain things you have spoken about.
I felt the same when looking at support forums and I think your reasons for creating this channel are very noble and I respect that.
I find it intriguing that some personality disorders are found "more common" in some genders statistically speaking.
I wonder myself if OCPD and certain other PD's are more prevalent in men (and the same for Borderline etc in women) because of the interpretation of symptoms from health care professionals rather than actually being accurate in all cases. I think it is possible there are a lot of misdiagnosed people.
Given symptoms manifest in different ways and how they are or can be perceived if a thought process is not fully understood or if in fact it is a symptom of such possible personality disorder could make it more difficult to do so.
I have my own principals and belief system which unless my psychiatrist or nurse practitioner understand, they will never see why I come to the decisions I do based on my core principals.
For instance, one person with OCPD and their own beliefs and principals are most likely very different from another person and most definitely regardless of any personality disorder - there are likely never two people with the exact same principals or beliefs and opinions on everything.
One manifestation of over control may be in punctuality however it is a battle for them to get anywhere on time because they have even stronger perfectionistic traits which mean they cannot finish what they are doing in order to leave on time.
For another person punctuality may override their desire to complete a task to perfection which may mean that they don't start anything at all if they have to be somewhere for fear they will not be able to get there early and if they start something they will not have time to finish it correctly.
It is how it manifests in the individual and in my opinion this leaves peoples behaviour open to misinterpretation if not understood as a whole.
I find inside my own head there is a battle, I have OCPD and Bipolar disorder and so this can cause me major problems on a many different levels. The one I deeply struggle with is the morality of my actions sometimes and not understanding how I haven't acted on morals and beliefs because this is how I am when well (as in only symptomatic from my OCPD not Bipolar symptoms).
I believe I should be able to control it and I do everything I can to even though I accept isn't always within my own control. That in itself is a concept I struggle with even if I can rationalise it.
I apologise if this doesn't really make much sense, I have rambled and although I have tried to read over what I have written in order for it to make sense before posting - I have trouble articulating myself when I am symptomatic.
Once again though thank you, you have a new subscriber :)
P.s. Please don't think that I myself am giving excuses for my behaviour or looking for pity. I hope you understand that in what I have mentioned in the last two paragraphs I am just trying to explain as oppose to excuse or validate.
I have sat and watched all of your videos and I am so grateful and thankful that you decided to make this channel and are taking us on this journey with you. It is very private and I respect the way in which you are and what you choose to share and not share, it is nice to hear you speak of things which I can relate to and coming from an outlook (which I'll admit is likely coming from within me in an egotistical way) I appreciate due to the fact I can relate.
I hope you are well and the medication is helping in some way :)
I look forward to your next upload.
I wonder as well about the prevalence of these disorders in men vs women. I think you have an interesting hypothesis. For OCPD particularly, because I theorize that nurture plays a bigger part than nature, I wonder if an increase in testosterone increases the desire to be in control. I definitely don't have the tools to find out for sure, but something is at play for sure.
You reference how symptoms manifest differently in different people and sexes. I would like to do a video in the future that really dissects the criteria for OCPD. In the forums, one of the most common questions is "is X a symptom of OCPD?". I'm not sure if it's troublesome or not, but people that have OCPD love attaching as many characteristics or habits that they have to it. They might be referencing a habit they picked up from a family member, a symptom of another disorder or just a particular peculiarity of their own, but they want everything to fall under the OCPD umbrella. So I'd like to take each one of the criteria and stretch it out as far as it will go to see what real life symptoms might and might not qualify as symptom of OCPD.
I really enjoyed your comment. I think you are looking at this disorder from some really interesting angles. You didn't at all come across as making excuses, so no worries there. The medications caused me some pretty undesirable side effects, so I apologize that there hasn't been a new video recently. However, I'm shooting two to three new episodes today and they will be uploaded starting tonight or tomorrow. Thanks so much for subscribing and commenting. I hope you enjoy the future content.
That's alot a words
Yeah got there.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience of OCPD. Very informative and helpful.
DebMas you're very welcome. Thank you for your comment.
i've never been diagnosed because i have no way to tell anyone irl about it because i'm so so so shy, however i almost definitely have ocpd. i'm currently 12 and in seventh grade and ever since second grade i've has this feeling, or more so, this literally need to be perfect. like, when i was younger i was so messy but now i always have a clean and organized room. it's pretty much turned into this idea of my 'perfect life' that i'm constantly trying to achieve but am never fulfilled. i've done much research and ocpd matches me perfect. i've also taken practically every online diagnosis test out there;)
relatable_potato I'm so sorry that you don't feel comfortable sharing this information with anyone. I have a video about telling loved ones about what you are going through that you might want to watch. But regardless, it's a very tough situation. What I will say is that there are plenty of reasons to be hopeful. There is so much help out there and there are also a lot of things that you can do for yourself in the meantime. Leading a healthy lifestyle is a good start. Mindfulness and meditation are things that you can do on your own. There are a lot of good books as well that will give you ideas on how you can work to have more balance in your life. Thank you for sharing your situation in the comments and I wish you all the best.
Excellent video!!!
jim stevens excellent comment!!! Thanks so much.
Thank you for taking the time to make these videos. The lengths you have gone through to understand yourself, and to explain it to others, it's very commendable. I think you are very brave, and wise. I suspect you will help a lot of people.
A friend of mine is in a relationship with a woman that has OCPD, and she is in denial about it. It puts an enormous strain on the relationship, but she doesn't understand the source of the strain. She has all the classic symptoms you described in the 2nd video, to one degree or another.
Do you have any advice on how to get someone who is very deeply in denial to consider that they might have OCPD and realize what it is doing to their relationships?
I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and to let me know what you thought of the video. I really do hope in some small way I'm able to help. I'm sorry that your friend is going through what he is going through.
As far as advice, it's so tricky. The first step is just acknowledging there is a problem in the relationship. If you can't get to that point, then it's going to be incredibly tough to make any progress at all. Everything has to be done patiently and lovingly. It's best to feed the information a little bit at a time. You can PM me if you like if you have specific information you'd like me to comment on. It's a bit difficult to give generalized advice on a specific situation. Especially one as complicated as this. Thanks again for commenting.
Yes that’s me 👍🏻 you’re very honest, insightful and humorous. Thank you 😊
ADHD I don't know about all that, but I try. Thanks so much! :)
I stumbled across OCPD last week when I was heavily researching OCD after being misdiagnosed (I believe) with OCD. When I read about OCPD I was almost in tears finding something that finally described me. Reading about OCPD online was like reading a story word by word about me and I've never actually been able to find anything that I truly felt explained my difficulties in life.
I also realised that my brother also 100% fits this description and I think that's why we've always been so understanding of each other. We can get along so well some days but sometimes there are things we clash over because we both have to be right.
MrAstroPhoenix absolutely. For one thing, no two people with OCPD are alike. We are all very unique in how are symptoms/traits play out. So two people with OCPD that get along is actually a bit rare and a wonderful thing when it happens. I hope that your discovering of OCPD sends you down a path with a healthy and happy future now that you know what you're facing. Thank you for watching and thanks for your comment.
keep doing this please, you are doing great and for real i think i suffer from OCPD but not sure....but your videos are making me recognize some of the signs.
Hey man,
You have me on Facebook so if you'd ever like to discuss it further let me know. Or if you have any questions just send them to me, Thank you so much for your support and for watching the videos.
My therapist told me she was treating me for ocpd, and i told her she was wrong and that I have bpd. Sigh. Not until now have i sat down and thought about how it would affect somebody who genuinely cares about me.
@aashidhaniya I'm sure that it is difficult to process how we may treat others at times. But understanding how our actions affect others is the first step to remedying this fact.
This video and your words are an immensely helpful and accurate representation.
Gone Fishy thank you so much and thank you for watching.
@@OCPD_support “I DON’T MIND.” These are three words to practice reminding oneself, get more comfortable with believing... not minding can be a pathway to freedom from some more pressing demands and thoughts. It’s not the same as not caring, in fact it still is implicit that you care however deeply- but in the moment, you are master of your focus, and in the moment “[you] don’t mind [about that thing]”.
It doesn’t always work
Thank you for your videos, my husband and stepkid are very likely to be OCPD. Looking forward to learning all I can about it.
blended family Roslyn and Raoni and Bella and Paula you are very welcome. Feel free to drop any questions you have in the comments and thanks for watching.
I recently heard about OCPD and immediately thought of my boyfriend. I found your channel while trying to gather more info on this disorder. This video brought me to tears while you were explaining the pain people with OCPD go through as well as the pain they cause to the people who love them the most. But how the hell am I going to convince him he may have this disorder???? He is so damn stubborn and whenever I try to express that his behavior is hurtful he makes me feel like I'm crazy. It's like he is unable to see things from someone else's point of view. I really think your videos are going to help. Thank you so much for your courage and honesty. I can understand how hard this must be for you. 🙌🏻
Carissa Heath I'm so sorry that you are struggling to find a way to approach this situation in your relationship. It breaks my heart every time I hear a new story. Each of us with OCPD are completely bound by the disorder (especially undiagnosed sufferers). However, we still retain some individuality and have our own distinct personalities. It saddens me that I don't have a magic answer when people come to me with this question.
You are at least on the right path when you ask how you convince him he has this disorder. Without that crucial first step there is no path to him making changes. The first piece of advice I give is to approach him lovingly and kindly and during times when things are at their best. I suggest letting him know how his behavior is making you feel. Another suggestion would be that when you do this, let him know you'd like him to think about the things you've said and that you'd like to get his response at a later time. In this way he won't feel attacked and hopefully won't default to a defensive position. So if you talk to him on a Monday, tell him you'd like him to think about his actions and how they impact the relationship and that you'd like to sit down later on in the week to discuss his side of things.
We can be incredibly hard on ourselves and we can also have some pretty crazy thoughts that we find troubling to share. So it's important that you let him know he can tell you anything without judgement. Tell him you really want to know the way his mind works and how he perceives how you should be reacting to his stubbornness and behavior. I'm really hoping that if you take this approach you can open up some true means of dialogue and that as you build more trust you'll be able to approach him with the idea that his brain is operating on a different level to the average person. Sadly, ultimatums seem to work as well. But that's a much more serious road to go down. Feel free to keep asking any questions you may have. If you want to share specifics you can always PM me. Thank you so much for your positive feedback on my videos. It means quite a lot to me to hear when these videos have any sort of impact.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! Your dedication to helping others and to your own recovery is incredibly inspiring. I'm so grateful for your honesty and for letting us come along with you on this journey.
Thank you. I'm just grateful that there are people out there like you. You see your boyfriend suffering and even though his behavior is negatively impacting the relationship, you are actively scouring the internet trying to help him and at the same time build a better relationship between the two of you. I wish the best for both of you.
Same here.. But I broke up with my GF because I thought I was loosing my mind.. To me it felt like she wanted me to be and behave in a certain way. Me, as a person, was none existent. Without empathy they cannot "care" about you. They are just not able to. It was like talking to a wall. Also dont forget.. often there is a mix of other disorders involved.. in my case a lot of Narcissistic traits and manipulation.. Manipulation is a key for a controlling person in a relationship.. because in the end they want to CONTROL YOU AND YOUR BEHAVIOUR. This is really scary. They just want you to behave in a certain way..and dont care about who you are or what you want. And this disorder, this personality, it cannot be changed. Only a few can work on their behaviour, on their actions, but the personality will always be that way.
Of course. Once you take *comorbidity* into account, there's a never ending supply of potential relationship complications. If a person only has OCPD it is unlikely that they have a desire to control you specifically. It is possible, as there are various subtypes, but what more often is the case (as is with me) is that we seek to control our environment. We do not like chaos or the unknown. We chase perfection even though that's not an attainable goal. So what happens is the relationship and the other person in the relationship become something that causes anxiety and we put all of these rules in place in order to calm our minds. So with straight OCPD, most of the control or attempted control is done subconsciously. A lot of people with OCPD don't realize they're doing it (even when it's pointed out) or they don't believe that the other person is really suffering.
Now it doesn't really matter what the person with OCPD thinks, because if they are hurting the other person or the other person feels controlled or attacked, the person with the disorder is responsible for the damage being done. And that hurt and pain are very much real whether we want to acknowledge it or not.
Hey man! Great video!
I've recently been diagnosed with OCD and am currently taking steps to deal with that, but during my reading I came across OCPD and the features of it and was immediately aware of someone close to me in my life who I suspect may have it.
My issue now is how do I tell him of my suspicious without being accusatory, causing distress or rejection? Do I even tell him at all or just support him? He himself (through living with myself and my housemates) is slowly becoming aware of his rigidity and need to be right, but at the cost of many heated discussions lets say. I love this guy, but I know he's struggles with low mood at times, internal doubt and he certainly struggles to express his feelings but I'm happy to say he does try with me.
I hope you see this and can provide some advice!
Joe
Hi Joseph Doyle,
Thanks for the feedback. Sorry you're suffering from OCD, but I'm glad to hear you're taking steps to deal with it.
I'd love to give you some advice or at least some insight, but there's a lot to unpack with OCPD. In general, most people that receive a diagnosis and accept a diagnosis are usually seeking out treatment for depression or anxiety. But for those that seek out treatment for those other emotional issues, only a small percent are even willing to accept the diagnosis. Because OCPD is a personality disorder, the idea that our thoughts are not our own is unacceptable in most cases.
However, if a friend or loved one had recognized OCPD in me at a younger age my life would probably be in a much better place right now and I'd be eternally grateful for it. So if you're going to do this (and I think it's an incredibly kind thing to do) you can't have any expectations going in. I'd advise pulling up an article to share with him. I have a great resource of articles on my blog which is linked in the description. I won't include the link here because UA-cam doesn't take to kindly to links. But if you click on where it says I have the transcript to the episode, that will take you to the blog and from there you'll find the list of resources.
Anyway, back on subject, find an article that seems to fit your housemate and share it with him. That's how I eventually came to understand because the article I stumbled across was like reading my own biography. The one thing you don't want to do is be accusatory. Just let him know that you can see he is struggling or hurting or whichever thing you feel is obvious, and you want to help if there's a way you can. I'm not sure that sharing my videos would necessarily help. I think in the beginning it's better to be introduced to it subtly. But again, everyone is different. This post is getting a little long, but if you want more specifics please feel free to PM me. My channel is small enough that I'm able to respond to messages. Thanks again for watching and I wish you all the best.
Awesome, thank you for the quick response! I may PM you if I have any more specific questions as I progress. Cheers again.
My husband was just diagnosed and reading up on what it is and what it does was astounding! It's him! I love many things about him that, possibly, come from the OCPD but many of the things are soo annoying...lol.
I would never leave him but he is seeking help and is trying to change.
J Bihm well I'm saddened to know that your husband has OCPD, but it truly is wonderful news that he is trying to make the changes necessary. I wish both of you the best. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for being so patient with him, haha. Also, I'll include links to the my best two videos on the topic so that you have a good starting place. Please see the next comment.
ua-cam.com/video/k3RqThY1KHQ/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/Ipt2Dw-64TM/v-deo.html
one of my friends, although I'm uncertaing whether to consider him a friend anymore, clearly has either OCPD or something that is identical to how it's described from the 5 days I spent, hours each, reading about this disorder online. I am fully aware of what confirmation bias is, hence I purposefuly tried to avoid succumbing to such an innate fallacy. Regardless, whatever I read about OCPD felt like I was reading his biography.
I've been chilling with him for more than usual and we've gone into arguments about psychology so many times, mainly because he's extremely reluctant to discuss his personality and behaviour which he justifies as his right not to talk about it. It was far too exhausting a friendship to keep, and we've got to the conclusion that it was a stupid discussion.
There are very few people I can think of that could test my patience to such extent, the closest being my narcissist grandmother. Burned that bridge, will burn this one too. It's clear he's struggling, it's clear he's fucking suffering. I don't know what to do with this guy. I swear I tried to be as welcoming and docile as possible with him, but he's just too fucking stubborn to a moronic extent. Which is ironic since he's quite the intelligent guy.
the George there are loads of points I can relate to in your email coming from both sides. I don't like to be disparaging, but it is extremely difficult to reach someone that is at the point you are describing. And in general, you'd need to be someone that is pretty close to the person to reach them in some capacity. So please don't beat yourself up if you feel that you are not getting through to them. It's very kind of you to try when you see them suffering. And hopefully, they can come to a realization at some point that allows them to begin down the path to change. In the meantime, make sure that you are always doing what is best for your own personal mental health. Thanks for watching.
@@OCPD_support "In the meantime, make sure that you are always doing what is best for your own personal mental health"
That's the problem. I've been at the best place in my life mentally since the end of last year, and I've helped a few of my very good friends get a better understanding of their mental health too.
One of them which is very successful and a bit of an inspiration to me was very thankful to me when I finally convinced him to see a psychiatrist. Guy hasn't been this wholesome in years.
I don't care if people get better or start working on themselves because I convinced them or I inspired them to. I'm just genuinely happy that they finally started working on themselves and that they're going forward.
But this guy, one of my oldest friends, he's really hit the patience limit, I'm just lost. I don't know what a person with a personality disorder has to go through to attain self-awareness, and I can't instil my own views into them as I am not a god.
What pissed me off the most was when I called him, told him I'll be at his door in 5 minutes, him knowing full well I'm coming for a visit, I arrive at his door, and proceed to wait 15-40 minutes for him to actually open it. Fifteen to forty minutes. I am not exaggerating.
I once asked him, "what the fuck", and he replied "oh you know if I'm having guests I have to tidy up", to which I reply "you know guests would much rather wait indoors rather than outdoors while you tidy up, at least you're not alienising people while making them wait", to which he just replies "oh that's fine" and that's it
And for whatever reason all the mutual friends we had also more or less disappeared from his life.
@@Gamez4eveR it's very admirable of you to take the time to help so many people and I'm very happy to hear that most of the time it worked out well. You should definitely be focusing on the success stories as opposed to the one in which you didn't get the result you were hoping for. But I do understand that this is one of your oldest friends, making this extra complicated and frustrating. As far as what a person has to go through to attain self-awareness with OCPD, it's different for everyone. Many never do. But it usually has to be a very rock bottom sort of situation.
"A very large element of having OCPD is a desire and a striving for perfection. An unhealthy adherence to perfectionism causes many complications in the life of someone with obsessive compulsive personality disorder. "
I have seen this.
There is a system of personality types known as the Enneagram. The nine types range from the One (= the perfectionist), the Two (=the person that helps others), the Three (=the achiever), through to the Nine (=the peace maker).
OCPD has been described as the extreme case of the Enneagram One. From having lived
for 12 years with someone who is very clearly a somewhat extreme Enneagram One (insisting that things be done correctly, fearful of making mistakes, not liking confrontations, detesting displays of anger in others) that all makes sense to me.
Thanks for sharing this information. I had not come across it in my research yet. I've been reading the description of the Enneagram One on the site - www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-1/ and it is a fascinating read. I'll keep digging and see if I can incorporate some information into a future video. There is definitely a lot of me in this information.
Honestly I recently discovered what OCPD is and immediately realized my dad fits the description perfectly. I don't talk to him anymore, but if I did I definitely would bring this up.
Hugh Janus is the reason you don't talk to him because of what you believe is OCPD?
This is so helpful.. I cannot believe how much this sounds like my Mom. I have been looking into narcissism and OCD because I see traits of both of those but this just fits so perfectly!! I know she has empathy, it’s just buried so deep in there and incredibly difficult to access. I wonder if this is genetic? Or if you can develop? My grandmother (her mom) is the exact same way.. makes me wonder if she learned the behavior from her.
Mel Haze unfortunately there isn't a unanimous agreement on whether it's genetic, imprinted, or both. I think I lean a little towards imprinted. But until more people are even aware this disorder exists, there's sadly little that can be done to prevent it at the point of child-rearing. But I will keep working to get the message out there and thank you for watching the video.
Thank you so much for the explanation. I suffered from OCD but realized i actually had anxiety disorder and stopped my obsession except with my own personal items being my way. I now am feeling like i am in hell because of my Mother-in-law and thought she was just stubborn with OCD. I now am realizing it is OCPD and i have a better understanding. Being i suffer from anxiety disorder,Panic disorder, and PTSD, i have compassion toward ones with Disorders and want to let them know they are not alone and that how can we cope with these. I see her in pain but she is extremely hard to reach.I am hoping these video's will help me help her and also my husband and i that are also affected by the Disorder.
You're very welcome. That sounds like a very difficult situation. It's hard enough having these disorders or mental health issues and then we actually have to add interacting with others on top of everything else. So for you to be dealing with your own thing and then working around the symptoms of your mother-in-law's disorder must be very stressful. If you ever have a question you'd like me to address in a video just let me know. Thanks for watching the videos.
I’m not sure if you are still active or not.. but I wanted to ask what the cut off for pathology on the POPS test is.
I’m assuming I’ve already passed the cut off with my 58.
I saw a psychologist some years ago and she told me I had obsessive-compulsive tendencies and traits. At the time I was under the assumption it was OCD, though that never felt right. OCPD though… that really fits the bill 😬😬
@thejollyroger9281 58 is lower than what would constitute OCPD according to the test. But the test is merely a starting point and it is by no means a diagnosis. If you feel that OCPD "fits the bill", it wouldn't hurt to discuss this with a mental health professional.
You are not alone
Jimmy Nelson thank you. Neither are you!
Im so glad for your videos...my husband has ocpd.....and i have adhd....but ive figuered out how my mind works and his ...u may say im undone mentally . I know how his rants affect me, i get sick physically, i mean i dont even look like i used to five years ago...from stress. I also see that my haphazard type , dont care if school keeps or not attitude ( it just appears like that) drives my ocpd husband crazy...but we love each other and are making a go of a life together....im the only one who ever could wrap my head around his ocpd we are noth on our third marrriage. He is 61 and im 58......wish us luck!
Kelly Evans thank you for the kind words. I'm so sorry for the situation that you find yourself in. I'm glad that you've figured out your ADHD. I hope though that you are seeing a professional as you sound as though you would benefit from some therapy. At the minimum you might be able to gain some perspective. I wish you and your husband the best. Feel free to leave any questions that pop up.
my father in law to a T.......he knows more than anybody even Drs even though he has a grade 5 education. Always negative never positive no emotional expression of true feelings never bought his wife of 48 years flowers hoards his money always walks at the same park never goes to any other parks or places hates people and has no friends. Has never told my wife he is proud of her. He is a real pain in the ass to be around .
missing Link it sounds like your wife must have been raised in a really difficult situation! I'm sorry to hear that.
Hey mate, I wondered if you have encountered any trouble with risk taking or people telling you that you don't take any risks with life in general etc and wondered if you would mind sharing your experience of this? When they say that people with OCPD have their own 'way of doing things' and strict rigid inflexible philosophy, I find that my philosophies are not set in stone but still change very slowly and rigidly over time and based on very little information at a time, like I always need the time to stop and consider everything before I do anything about it, like one big constant scientific experiment with everything I do and how I do it and can't just live and go with it like other people do, and find that whatever the philosophy or somewhat imperative ways of doing things has been, it always seems to revolve around this bad relationship with risk, and I would like to add that it's mostly when I'm confronted with my inability to take risks that I can 'see' the disorder in how I internally suffer whilst most other people look relatively fine and then the risk of projecting this out and putting blame onto others, but when I don't have to take any risks, I feel so confident and fine and like I'm taking the best approach, keeping risk minimal whilst experimenting for more awareness and control and everyone else just looks so silly, getting themselves into all sorts of problems (to put it politely and calmly lol). Is this true for you at all?
Jack Laurence thanks for such a great comment/question. I would say that I don't experience what you are talking about directly. But rather, I experience elements of what you're talking about in other decision making aspects of my life. I live life as a digital nomad (although I don't particularly like the term, labels help us to identify things faster so I see the utility). Anyhow, there is a lot of 'risk' inherent in skipping countries every two months. Flying is just one example. Exposure to disease is another. I am in the process of being vaccinated currently, so I try to be sensible when affordable and convenient, but in general these are not the things that cause me great anxiety.
However, just last weekend I went to the beach and experienced plenty of anxiety. Just one example would be having to change from jeans to a swim suit in a public bathroom without touching anything. So much of my anxiety comes from working around my specific symptoms or from trying to combat my symptoms.
The element of slowly changing over time is something that I experience as well. However, it is not in risk but in personal beliefs. I believe in challenging myself and my thoughts and so I spend a lot of time (too much time) researching and studying in order to form the correct opinion so that I feel confident I'm right in conversation. So in the way that you feel people are silly for risk taking, I can feel people are silly for being uninformed. However, this would be the one part of myself I work on more than any other so I can say that I'm much better now than in the past at seeing things from others point of view.
I just wanted to let you know that I’ve given a more thorough answer to your question in my latest video.
ua-cam.com/video/qpTmrCbVlCw/v-deo.html
I share a life with an ocpd person. We are living like we are on holiday forever. We are both understanding of each other and cater to each other. There’s no venom here. We’re both unique people who needed to find the other.
Gonn Fishy what a beautiful comment and how wonderful that you both found and have each other.
@@OCPD_support Thankyou. There has been a lot of work, therapy, medication and shared struggles. We look out for each other; in the same way we ask if it would suit to work in with each other’s plan, or whether to do it differently. Talk, talk, lots of understanding and a therapeutic living space. 🌟
There can be happy outcomes.
@@gonnfishy2987 there are a lot of people in the comments that would be very relieved and happy to read your message.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After being diagnosed with dysthymia. I have bipolar II I thought I mean yeah not really Mania but I'm thinking that when I'm busy working and start to think that people are starting to do it right around me I'm really really happy and can't stop. So it seems like Mania. And I ignore the fact that I'm screwing my family over by staying at work so long but I can't help it. Then I feel pulled so much between but I know I'm doing wrong and what I have to do. So when I start to see that people are not going to change and do it my way then I can give up the to-do lists that I've been making for a month straight just as long as my arm and just get so depressed that I just go to bed for two days straight. I had thought to think know this isn't mania this is OCD. But I'm really thinking it is ocpd. Do y'all think that ocpd can be misdiagnosed often?
Bess Burkhardt I think OCPD is overlooked in many cases. Many therapists are not even that familiar with it. And some hesitate to hand out that particular diagnosis and I've yet to find out why. But the answer to your question is that OCPD can be misdiagnosed.
Thank you for the reply
And for your channel and sharing this information.
@@bessburkhardt2093 you're very welcome!
I think what makes it difficult for me to grasp elements of this diagnosis is it is hard for me to hear information like how divorce is common. For me my marriage is so important to me that divorce just isn’t in the cards. I grew up in a broken home with multiple step fathers and step mothers and half and step siblings. I just can’t have that for my life and my children. I believe this is one reason I came to accept I have OCPD because I didn’t want to lose my family unit. It got bad and I had to either face that things I do aren’t always healthy, right or nice and get into therapy and consider taking medication or my wife would finally take steps to better her life meaning separation or divorce. Facing the truth was like a traumatic event for me, though. Was it traumatic for you?
Back to where I began, though. When I read or hear someone talk about what the symptoms are, if one of them doesn’t apply to me, I have a hard time processing that.
In therapy I’m learning about ‘all or nothing’ or ‘black and white’ thinking. Perhaps this is a complication of that. Was it hard for you to process you have this based on what you read about the symptoms or statistics? I understand the experience of just realizing we have this so I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the next stage, if you will. It’s like ‘ok. I have this. But I don’t have 3 of these symptoms so I can’t make sense of it.’
I feel like I probably did not make sense at all. If I didn’t it is fine to let me know.
Chlink Ink to answer your first question, the realization probably became somewhat traumatic over time. In the midst of the divorce the divorce felt much more traumatic. I'm not sure if traumatic is the word I'd even use when referring to an OCPD diagnosis. Overwhelming is probably better.
For my first divorce there was too much chaos at the time for me to identify what was wrong with me. The information wasn't readily available and although I wanted desperately to save my marriage at that time, I didn't have the tools. But it's fantastic that you were able to identify what's wrong in time to better your marriage.
I don't have a hard time processing that not all of the symptoms apply to me. It would be especially hard if I did because I interact online with quite a few people with OCPD and they all seem very different to me. Although I see different symptoms and beliefs, I still recognize the same maladaptive thought process that gets everyone to the same place. I see very clearly that not all of the criteria apply to me, but it states plainly in the DSM that only four of the eight criteria need apply. I'm actually doing a series dissecting each of the eight criteria and the video coming out tomorrow is the first in that series.
OCPD: My Life In Debris Well, I am coming in contact with more people with OCPD. And I am realizing I was fortunate to see things before it was too late. We both are trying. I had been diagnosed years ago but just didn’t agree with it. I wasn’t only facing losing my wife but also my career so I think that sort of forced me to entertain the possibility. Perhaps a better word is overwhelming. All I know is it floored me.
Anyway, I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. I am hoping my marriage will stay intact. I think we do stand a better chance since we are both in individual therapy and marriage counseling also.
@@chlinkink7433 it sounds like you are both doing all of the best things to keep the relationship intact and moving in a positive direction. It was an unpleasant experience at the time to go through divorce and it was crushing to feel like such a failure. But in hindsight it was all for the best I believe. I would prefer if I could have made it to this point in my life without it taking those instances, but there's no changing the past and I'm happy to be where I am today. A big part of why things didn't work out had to do with it being 'too little, too late'. Most of the damage had been done by the time I started to work on things. And the realization was so fresh that I wasn't doing nearly enough to make the changes I needed to make. My point is that as long as neither of you have mentally checked out of the relationship, there's always plenty that can be done to improve a relationship.
Do people suffering with ocpd have some close relationships but chose only the ones that are free from emotion? My sons girlfriend said I am too much. Too much emotion. To much enthusiasm. Most people relate to me really well. I am heartbroken that she dislikes me so much. I even made the mistake of editing and dimming myself to fit into her endless rules. I am heartsick understanding how she experiences the world. I am also destroyed by her isolating my son from his family and friends.
Thank you for these videos and your willingness to be vulnerable for the greater good. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Its caused everyone so much pain.
@heartroccs thank you for your question. I'm very sorry to hear about what you are going through at the moment. What you describe is not a defining characteristic of OCPD. I would say that anecdotally, it's probably not uncommon. However, this would most likely be for other reasons. My guess, is that there is something else going on, and that she is not able to express what that is to you. The part that rings true to OCPD, is her being blunt and unconcerned with your feelings. If indeed this person has OCPD, they have a reason for not wanting to be around you and they don't care about the consequences of keeping your son from you.
These things are complex, and it may seem as though I've contradicted myself. I've said that she would be blunt about her thoughts and feelings, and then I've said that the reasons she's given are probably not the real reasons. What I mean by that, is that she believes the reasons she's giving you, but I doubt she actually knows why. OCPD doesn't make a lot of sense as a reason unto itself. I suspect (and this is only my opinion), that the reasons have less to do with who you are, and more to do with what you represent to her.
All of this is guesswork. I don't think you are going to get to the bottom of it without confronting her (in a kind way & gentle way). Things may not go the way that you would like them to, if your son continues in this relationship. That's really his decision. But the one thing that seems clear is that if you do nothing, this problem will most likely continue or get worse. You have limited options unfortunately, but I'd start with a conversation. I don't know what sort of relationship you have with your son, but having a conversation with him first is probably the best course of action.
I'd suggest computing the Gunning fog index on the text. Too many big and unfamiliar words to be followed with useful comprehension.
v8pilot thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. I've toned it down in future videos. But if you have any questions, please let me know. Thanks for checking out my channel.
I am OCPD hits close to home. The thoughts are there like 24/7.
Safwan Jebat I’m sorry to hear that but I hope you’re getting the help you deserve.
The one thing I don't understand is how people with ocpd could find it difficult to admit to having it. Are we not the only human beings alive who are capable of seeing things sans bullshit, right or wrong, fact or fiction, is or isn't?? There's no room to be in denial. The only people so organized that we've categorized every behavior/characteristic we and everyone else has? It isn't possible to not spot it. The only people so obsessed with perfection that we comb thru our every imperfection? I could go on and on but I just don't see how it's possible that it's difficult to admit.
missXspancer1 for someone that believes in perfection, admitting to having a personality disorder would go against every inch of their being. That's a generalization of course, as many people have recognized their own disorders and sought help. But whether it seems logical or not, the fear of being imperfect is powerful enough to keep people in denial for an entire lifetime.
@@OCPD_support I guess perspective plays a severe role. To me, logic is 100% infallible. You either obsessively fix imperfections with everything, *including yourself*, or you aren't that obsessed with fixing imperfections. I came to my psychiatrist/therapists with an extensive list of my behaviors and corresponding suspected diagnoses. It always frustrated me how people are not very self aware. After being diagnosed with ocpd, I thought I found my people, but apparently I still haven't.
@@missxspencer1538 that's a really interesting observation that many with OCPD don't come to. In the support groups, there can sometimes be infighting and I think that many of the people with OCPD find that confusing. But every single person has their own perspective and OCPD isn't quite the common denominator many of us wish it was. Although I see faults in the groups, I still find them an invaluable resource of information (both accurate and inaccurate), and I still find there to be a lot of genuine people looking to make changes in their life and new connections at the same time.
It's funny how being self-aware in regards to therapy can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, some aspects of the therapy can be navigated faster and easier, but on the flip side, most therapists like starting from a blank slate. Again, it's all perspective.
I live a very painful life because of this disorder
Brayan Martinez I lived many years in pain due to having this disorder. And there are times when that pain comes back. But recognizing that you have the disorder gives you a tool that many don't have when it comes to combating the disorder. I hope you make the decision to fight for a better life because it is attainable. We may always have this disorder, but it doesn't always have to control us.
My psychologist, the one who diagnosed me, said that 8% of the population has it. I've never met another person with this disorder so I'm assuming most are undiagnosed?
Kat the contrarian that would be correct. There is talk of placing personality disorders on a spectrum of sorts in the next DSM. I think if that were the case, you would get a number that might be close to 8%.
I am a woman and i went to the ER twice last month. The second doctor said the same thing: there was nothing physically wrong. Results from MRI scans, chest X ray, ECG, and bloodworks show I'm physically fit for my age, but he said I show signs of General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I was very surprised he recommended I see a psychiatrist. All people go through hardships in life, I know, and I didn't want to seem mentally or emotionally weak. But I still followed the doctor's advice. Psychiatrist said I have classic symptoms of having OCPD. He examined my lifestyle and we believe my physical trigger comes from the new task assigned to me at work. This task is beyond my job description. Others volunteer to do it and I didn't because it's about numbers and I'm afraid I could not do a perfect, error-free report and I told my manager about it but he still insisted I do it. I also don't see the logic or the significance of this new task to my major role in the company. True to OCPD fashion, I still tried to do as I was tasked, and after about 5 times of doing this assignment, I had physical manifestations of anxiety and depression. I didn't go to work for 3 weeks. I felt bad staying at home, not working. But I also felt dread and fear thinking of returning to work and getting that task again. I might look for a different job or company if this situation cannot be changed. In 3 weeks of staying at home, I lost much weight, I had no appetite, and I just lost all interest. I'm trying to avoid taking medication and I'm doing research now to alleviate this situation. The psychiatrist tells me it's good I was brave enough to see him ASAP. Well, OCPD people are known to be sticklers for following what they know is right. :(
Jayjay Gaerlan thanks so much for sharing this story. I think your psychiatrist is right about being brave enough to proactively seek out help. I really appreciate it when people such as yourself leave personal stories as I think it helps other to either identify what they are going through or to know they are not alone. However, I am so sorry that you're going through all of this. I hope that you are able to either get the relief you need or find a remedy to this situation soon. Please feel free to leave comments if it helps to get any of this off your chest.
Appreciate much your well wish. Some people who have OCPD are high-functioning. They might not be aware they have it, until the symptoms reveal itself too late. Triggers and manifestations are different for each as well. Your videos help to promote awareness. It helped me a lot in understanding this new terrain I am in. Thank YOU very much.
The only people I feel are owed a conversation about the inner thought processes of an individual OCPD are those in a relationship with them. Even then they aren’t really owed it, because they can always leave if they don’t like the personality they see on the surface. The idea that there is no affection does not sound true. Just because OCPD individuals don’t express affection at every turn, does not mean they don’t feel it. To me talk is cheap, but the long term actions are much more important to determining genuine affection. I simply don’t feel affection to almost anyone besides intimate partners, or children you have with them. To me they deserve affection, and it feels natural to give it to them, but don’t expect me to be the same with almost anyone else. I won’t give affection unless it feels right, if it doesn’t, why would I do it other than to deceive. Just because I don’t show affection to these people does not mean I don’t care about them, or that I can’t be their friend.
Shawn Steadman I'm not sure I feel as strongly about the two topics you bring up, but I do agree with both of your points. We owe our partners respect and love, and in deeply connected relationships, it would seem natural to me to share with each other the inner workings of ones mind. But the idea that we automatically owe people an answer for our actions I don't agree with. Most people I've met do not know I have OCPD. There is no reason for them to know. And we still live in a world where whether we like it or not, mental health issues still come with stigmas.
And as there are multiple subtypes of OCPD, I think that within those subtypes are some that can be very affectionate. And there are other subtypes that don't allow the OCPD sufferer the ability to show their affection, or in some cases actually feel affection. I've had conversations with these types of individuals and can confirm they exist. But to think of OCPD people in general as unaffectionate would be wrong as well.
I had a ocpd ex gf who I really loved. but eventually I couldn't tolerate. it was very difficult. I still love her she didn't want to accept her problem, very stubborn
Farzad_Y Y I'm really saddened to hear that. I hope that you've been able to move on and that someday she is able to get the help that she needs.
How do you know you most definitely wrong all the time..what if your way of doing something really is the best way..or right way...everything has a right and a wrong...what if you fall on the right side
Anthony Kist you have to take each situation individually. Weigh the costs of being right. Does it involve safety, or protecting your family or your finances? Then of course you have every right to stand your ground. But does if it involves arguing with coworkers, people at school, your own family or relatives or maybe even your closest friends? Do you want to be thought of as someone that is a know it all, insufferable and unpleasant to be around or as a good friend and good listener? The cost of being right could be divorce, isolation, the loss of a job and on and on. It's always going to be your decision. I'm around people I disagree with all the time. And I'm very skilled at steering the conversation when it starts veering towards something I know we don't agree on. Or if we're in a group, I will excuse myself. And if all else fails, I will just be a good listener. I've never agreed with someone that I thought was wrong. But I've kept my mouth shut thousands of times.
Sigh, I am fairly sure that my partner has this, and I've just been diagnosed with ADHD. Definitely not two personality disorders that get along well...
Matt Slowikowski well that's definitely challenging. But I wouldn't lose hope. I've known couples in very similar situations that have made it work. But it always involves therapy of some kind.
My dad has been diagnosed with OCPD multiple times yet he won't admit he has it.
That's really hard to deal with. I'm sorry. Did he go because he felt something was wrong or did other people push him to see a psychiatrist?
My mom forced him to go during their marriage counseling.
Yeah, that's so tough. OCPD is just one of those things that you can't be forced into recognizing. I wish I could offer you some advice, but it's already incredibly difficult to beat this thing even when you know you have it. Moving beyond it if you won't admit to suffering from it is incredibly unlikely. Not sure he would benefit from checking out any of my videos, but it might not hurt for him to see what someone with OCPD is really like.
My father has too. It's to damn difficult to deal with him. There is no way he is going to admit. I dunno what to do.
My mom has OPC d personality disorder and she is very toxic and extremely bad hoarder everything is done her way she back seats drives my dad and they get into arguments the woman is almost 85 years old in the past my dad went to a psychiatrist to see if they could give her any kind of treatment or help will back then the psychiatrist told my dad there is no way to help her she's helpless she didn't even respond to medication things got worse and my father just gave up growing up with my mother was very hard because her hoarding got really out of control and we couldn't have anybody come over to visit us when we were teenagers so if there is treatment that's great but as far as my mom taking treatment she has to be in control of everything she can't cooperate with the doctor and she can't let go of control and she believes that she's right when she's wrong and she's always late and she's not realistic about the time of when you have to go somewhere or whatever you have to do I could tell you more about it but she was born in 1935 when she came up with it I think it was in her forties when she starts to develop it
Kass Priscilla that's just very heartbreaking to read. It must have been a very rough start to life for yourself and it sounds as though it has continued right down to today.
In addition to the misfortune of having a mum with OCPD, you also had other things working against you as well. The first is that therapy has come very far over the last few decades. So depending on how long ago you sought out help for her, it's likely that therapy was lagging in its effectiveness. But outside of that, you also had the misfortune of trying to work with an obviously terrible and unqualified mental health "professional". And I'm very sorry for that.
This channel is much more than a hobby and in addition to trying to help both those with OCPD and those without & providing as much insight as I can into the topic, I hope to expose the damage of unprepared and unqualified therapists and psychologists. There are too many to count and it's not well known about. People go to see someone expecting them to have all the answers, and when they don't, people trust that there's nothing that can be done. That's just not the case and I hope that maybe you yourself can seek out some good therapy. You've been through a lot and speaking about what you've been through with a therapist might help bring more happiness and peace into your life.
Thanks for watching and thanks for your comment. Please let me know if you ever have any questions.
Personality disorder (like skin or bone sickness)
It a lense thought whichi see the world ( true or false)
I have ocpd
It's a filter of my thoughts
I am never wrong ( rigidity )
The matrix
Work over life ( perfectionism)
Angry argumantative pessemistic anxious
The lives of thise around him is a hell life.
Success rate is low
Divorce and suicidale rate is high
@hassan-ff1bn thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Very interesting?
Just did the test and it says I don't have OCPD. Wow! Some of the stuff you mentioned - I can related to. Thanks for sharing!
@@noelgenoway9360 I'm sorry for the extremely belated response. UA-cam is just now letting me know about some older comments that they never notified me of. It makes me feel bad to know that some people must have thought I just ignored their comments. Anyway, I hope that you've been able to find the solutions you were looking for at the time you watched this video.
I think I might be ocpd
- SwanCake - I'm sorry to hear that. If you do think so, you might want to start by taking the test I link to in the description of all of my videos. I wish you the best.
You forgot to say they are often PENNY PINCHING MISERS!
Hahaha, well that's true for some, but for others they actually can't control their spending at all.
@@OCPD_support I can vouch for that, i struggle hard to control my spending.
@@Jim_Nelson we just need to make more money ;)
@@Jim_Nelson As do I! I gain too much enjoyment from having my own funds after years of being reliant on my parents.
Kiss me first Netflix omfg
AvexOffline I'm sorry for the extremely belated response. UA-cam is just now letting me know about some older comments that they never notified me of. It makes me feel bad to know that some people must have thought I just ignored their comments. That said, now your comment feels out of context and I don't know how to respond to it. What were you specifically referring to?
I took the test...
Welp.
Marshcream OH NO
So I’ve been trying all my life to express what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling like this but I’ve failed miserably lol, I’ve tried talking to my family, friends and even psychiatrists and doctors but still it was really hard to talk because I didn’t know what was the issue, everything is ok but nothing is ok in the same time! Until few weeks ago I talked with my new doctor about how tired I’m and that all of these sessions aren’t working he explained that I’m having and OCPD and advised me to read about it and honestly it was like someone has thrown a cold water at me “wow there’s really an explanation really” even though it didn’t describe what I’m feeling 100% but at least it gives a little explanation and I felt really relieved.
That’s long ik, I started typing ocpd on the search bar to know more about people with it and to listen to their experiences and find a way that might help me to change my life, bc honestly I don’t want to live like this forever, I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to be perfect that I’ve ignored my life, my health, my family and if I have discovered my life earlier I’d be adding friends but I don’t have any now lol.
Anyways, Ignore me rambling above, thank you so much for this channel, I’ll continue watching your vids and hope you are feeling good and heathy. All the best
Gee Saa thanks for sharing some of your story here. Whatever you do, you must not lose hope. Identifying OCPD is a huge step in the path to better mental health. If you have any questions, please leave them here. But I promise you if you put the work in, you will get to the other side. And it's definitely worth it. Thanks for watching!