Child Psychology : How to Help a Child Who Is Always Angry
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- Опубліковано 8 лис 2010
- A child exhibiting constant anger should be approached with the intent to understand. Develop the understanding between you and your child with the assistance of a licensed psychologist in this free video.
Expert: Dr. Craig Childress
Contact: www.drcachildress.org
Bio: Dr. Craig Childress is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of ADHD and angry-oppositional relationship disorders of childhood.
Filmmaker: Max Cusimano
Series Description: Raising children can be a confusing project at times. Improve communication with your child and resolve common issues with the assistance of a licensed psychologist in this free video series. - Навчання та стиль
This is a related video that talks about a child who is always angry. Dr Childress says that a child who is always angry might be due to an expression of pain. I do agree a 100%. Why? Because I’m currently dealing with the same situation as a One-To-One. I work with this student whose anger situation stems from home. Consequently, the child comes to school already feeling angry because of Dad’s absence. Disciplining the child as a solution is not the best thing to do. The best solution you can offer this child, is by trying to understand his home situation, and giving the child that love or attention that’s missing from home. I’m currently applying this knowledge at the Burlington Township Elementary School, and it works a 100%.
No one's ever cared about my anger or pain. I was simply invalidated. I wish I had someone who understood growing up. I wish I wasn't alone, didn't feel alone.
Sakura Tsukishiro I feel your pain.
My experience was very much the same.
Lily Crystal All my life, no one really understood me. I was bullied, no one to sit next to during lunch, hated by everyone, it just seems like everyone neglects me. But I've learned was "don't ever let little things stop you from doing big things." I'm sure you will find a friend one day. I know you will. 🙂
😢
Lily Crystal , I'm just grateful that you are in the mindset to realize that it's now in your hands to make all the great and positive changes
i have a kid in my class who is very attached to me, and refuses to do anything unless i ask him to individually and praise him every step of the way. Every morning however, he comes into class and Hits me, and refuses to talk to me for at least an hour... I don't know what he's trying to express, except I think he might've mixed up showing care with anger. It makes me sad that I won't be around as kids like him grow older.
9 years later, I wonder how that child is doing. Thanks for being such a good teacher, looking out for your students on a fundamental level
You hit the nail on the head right here. I was bullied to the point of sucide as a kid and all the shrinks my parents took me too just wanted to drug me instead of getting the bullying under control. I was always told the bullying was my fault. Kids would come up and hit me or call me names for no aparent reason. But it was always my fault.
I like “ respond to the child’s pain”
Im the one whos always angry but my family is so toxic i came here to helpmyself
Just wanna say thank you and that you seem like the coolest character. Peace to you Sir
I'm starting to feel like child psychology is adult psychology too? Meeting another person with anger, be it a child, an adult or any human at all, would not go well.
I have had family problems all my life. I was verbally abused by someone who I thought was supposed to love me. I also have a brother who gets all the attention. Recently I snapped and got into a huge argument with a teacher.... Luckily another teacher really understood me and told him it wasn't personal I just needed to let my feelings out...
If you are having problems with your child, read the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It helps you get to the bottom of what is the issue causing the dysfunction. Perhaps your child is old enough and can understand the book himself/herself. If not, I would suggest the parent read it and explain and implement the tools with your child
Hmm, thank you for this. I'm a teacher at a preschool and this definitely gave me some food for thought. I noticed our student who is always angry just blows up and gets worse when a teacher combats her anger with more anger, so I've been trying other ways of dealing with her outbursts
These comments and your presentation imply that a part of the problem is the interaction, how we ourselves need insight and understanding. It isn't simply the "identified 'patient'" but the interactions as well. I think some people, myself as well, come across someone who is a "bottomless pit" of need for attention and understanding which we cannot supply or run out of patience dealing with.
Thank you. I have long searched for this answer, something that can be put into a action plan. And you summarized it in 3 minutes. Nobody can understand the deep pain the parent feels, when no matter what she does, she is causing her child pain and anger. And seeing the connection to the child falling apart. And feeling guilty and helpless. I will type this up onto a small piece of paper, and keep it in my purse. A tool, that perhaps gives me some hope I can hold onto.
Look into some books by Stanley Greenspan.
The Challenging Child.
(Or The Child with Special Needs, if pertinant...)
www.amazon.com/Challenging-Child-Understanding-Enjoying-Difficult/dp/0201441934/182-4179073-7827041?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0
I have always had a happy boy until he got to 10 now he gets angry and crys for no reason I can think of when I ask him he tells me to go away so I'm lost
This is FANTASTIC!! I know this works! When I say “i understand” & “ I’m not angry” my toddler is sooooo much easier. I think my worries just got resolved. I’m going to practise meeting her frustration with understanding. Something matters to her a lot. She wants to do things and just gets so angry when she hears no all the time.
Star Suki i’m so glad that your taking initiative to be a better parent. i know that school and life growing up is very very very difficult, confusing, and frustrating. but when your growing up your world is spinning and you’re trying to control your life. and when they’re tried and down after a day of teachers telling us exactly what to do now and when we get home and just it takes us over the edge to have our feelings invalidated and then later telling us what to do (which is a parents job i totally understand that). It’s a deep gloominess and anger that’s really hard to let go of.
it’s understandable that adults forget how hard it was to be a teenager because it’s a long time ago and it’s scientifically proven that nostalgia from our youth clouds our memories of confusion and other negative emotions.
Thank you for this. It means a lot. My son is 15 and has been struggling with alopecia since he was 10.
He has become very angry and defensive in his responses to us. I love him and won’t give up but it takes most of our energy. He has become very controlling as well. He always has to have his way or he’s not happy.
Very helpful. Thank you so much this is so reassuring for me as a mom of a child (7yo boy) who seems to be angry and/or dramatic about simple issues or problems that come up in everyday kid life... most days I can get to the root of his anger and turns out it’s not REALLY anger he’s feeling- rather it’s sadness. He misses his brothers & sisters when they are gone (we have a split family) back to their moms. This video was reassuring to me that I’m on the right track to deal with helping his through the sadness that’s it’s not anger he’s dealing with. Thank you for the plain speak and the information.
Mindy Wratchford i wish more parents would do this instead of always assuming everything is simple anger and should just be disregarded or just be seem as being thoughtless and dramatic. because when i am very tired or feeling sad if someone crosses me i get angry and it obviously would enrage me to get a response that is just an invalidation of my feelings. there’s a lot that parents and other people don’t know about and i don’t want to talk about for numerous but valid reasons. it’s a deep confusing hurt and rage that’s so hard to get rid of.
How was a 'split' family created? Do you mean thru Divorce?
Your fault then.
I am the alienated parent, and it has been going on since I divorced her Father 20 years ago, she is now 40 and has two children, so it is affecting the next generation, who are 13 and 10. Your video has revealed exactly what has been going on. So I have had to give HER the silent treatment since Christmas, and she repeated exactly what you said, I believe her Father is a Narcissist, who has recreated another one in her. I've just left them to it now. Wonder how they will get on. now I am out of the picture? Good video, Thanks.!
This is just good human relationship advice in general.
Thank you very much😃
Wow. I found this by accident and all in a time where I am really struggling trying to help my angry son. I need your help Big Time sir 😑♥️
thanks sir ,aapki raay kafi helpful rahi this time I am happy with my kid.
What if my child dosent know why he's angry? I treat my son with love and am very patient but he is always angry if I ask him anything he screams with anger, I spend quality time with him and show him affection and he's good but he has a very short temper but he always wants to get his way or else. Being a parent is so hard... I need help 😫
As an 11 year old kid who is always angry sometimes when i'm alone in my room i just choose violence and war
I have a 3 and half year old boy, most of the time angry, aggressive despite being calm with him, empathetic towards him when he is angry. I was extremely stressed out because of life problems while I was pregnant with him, now I think it might be all because of all that stressful pregnancy 😭😭😭
Same here.. my sons now 6 and it’s getting worse..
My parents never care. They just tell me i need to loose my attitude. i dont even know why i am angry i just snap at people alot any idea
I'm curious as to are you any better now that it's been 9 years since this question
@@reeshasaleem581 I ended up fixing myself. Left when I was 16 and moved across the country. I focused on the things that made me happy which was learning it distracted me from all the things that had caused me to be so angry. Now that im older I understand what had made me so angry. I lived in a very unhealthy household. Everyone hated each other and drank. They more or less forgot I existed. I learned to like myself and in turn liked everything that made me that way. The hardships I went through was what made me who I am. Im 23 now.
@@teanayd damn that's really inspiring. I'm 17 now and the household you described is a lot like mine. I grew up without any loving parents and was bullied by my brother, although that still happens. Hoping to get into a uni for now so I can get away and work more on myself. I wish to be able to tell someone what you just told me.
@@reeshasaleem581 just remember that you cant control how people treat you but you can control how it makes you feel. My older sister bullied me as a kid too. She used to lock me in the bathroom a lot so I adapted and started keeping books and snacks under the sink. So long as you focus on doing what makes you happy you can never fail. Dont tell yourself "if I get this degree i will be happy". Instead say "if I learn about this, I will be happy". You will always exceed your expectations. If you do that you will be happy no matter where you are..even stuck in a bathroom.
@@teanayd thanks a lot. I'll keep this in mind. You've no idea how much I needed this right now.
You are awesome I want to be a child psychologist when im older im 11 right now
Ditto!
Children tend not to embrace individuality. Instead, they want to be like all the other kids. They want to be the cool kid in school.
He probably is upset because he sees things other kids have that he does not get or have.
I have watched videos to help my 11yr old son with his anger and I can't seem to find the right one. he's autistic and closes up when he's mad, really he doesn't express many emotions often. he will get so mad over silly, little things, sometimes! like if the internet dips out for a few mins. that happened yesterday and he was so mad that he threw all the dishes and went into the pantry and threw everything off the shelves onto the floor which broke my large crock pot and prob more but it's knee high in there so I can't see much. so then this morning I was waking him early to get some things done before school and he yelled at me that I never "shut the F up!!" and laid on the couch and refused to move and almost missed the bus, which happens often. then he walked home and didn't ride the bus and then right away broke his sisters barbie castle from xmas! I tried to talk to him all thru this. no yelling, just asking why he was so angry and I needed to understand what was going on and he just told me to go away and leave him alone. I'm so frustrated right now!! he calms down and then says sorry and thinks everything is fixed. I talk to him when he's calm and not angry and explain that he needs to talk about feelings and to try to calm himself, etc. not enough time to tell all that I say, and he kinda listens and gets very bored and kinda annoyed and his adhd kicks in and he can't or won't listen for more than 2 mins. I talk with him whenever I get the chance, just little comments or pointing things out that are helpful. I'm at a loss! I don't hit my kids but sometimes I feel like that's what I need to do!! I dunno, I'm just so frustrated!! I'm trying to listen and understand but he uses that as a weakness and walks all over me!! aughh!sorry for rambling but if anyone can help me, please do!!!! thanks!!
Amber Lamp. It's very difficult to advice through comment. The child needs a psychologist to get into the deep roots of the problem. Either way, there are certain ways, one among them is hetero suggestion Or helping them realise their talents and motivating them. And try to keep them under control. Don't worry there is a solution.
Most of my experience is with the under five category, and the best I can do there is this: a) reflect their emotions on my face, b) put words to the situation; "Did it make you mad when the internet quit right in the middle of your game?", and then c) model a coping technique. There's taking deep breaths, going to a quiet place, or going somewhere you can run around and get the energy out. Those are building blocks for later skills, but your son may have missed the blocks somewhere. But hey, if he's asking for space when he's angry, then you might enlist his help while he's calm, and you can create an environment where he can go to work through it. Mats for smacking, sand and props for world building (and destroying), mirrors or echo toys so he can get some outside view... Tell him often that you love him, and respect his space when life gets too rough. Most of all, hang in there! You're out looking for help, and that's exactly the thing to do!
As an assistant teacher, I have some children I must deal with their anger during classroom time. I tell the student "Everyone gets angry, BUT do not act out on it! Then you will not get in trouble. I listen to what the student says he is angry about and try to get details about what triggered the anger... etc. This is exactly what the EXPERT says to do in this video. He also says something I think is very important. He quoted Gandhi that "The opposite is the antidote.... LOVE." Children know when you care about their problem.... and... when you are dismissing their complaints. Even a DOG knows when he is being kicked. Just another little story to encourage you... I know a little girl who had terrible anger problems and her mother was very poor financially... but the mother had great riches in the "love" department. The mother did everything in her power to help the girl, and now the girl is an adult holding a job and fairly happy. So, keep up the good fight. I am looking for hints and strategies to use for these troubled kids at school. So far, this video is fairly good I think.
Excuse me 'sofa king amber' (sounds like a 'couch potato'), but I guess Mommie (you) didn't learn much Grammar in school, did ya?
I guess you got sick in Elementary School when they taught how to break up a story *with separate paragraphs* !
Like, D'uh!
my child has badhabit for somemonths.He becomes angry quickly and also thiefts some small things likes toycaretc.So please help me how to change this habits.
I'm taking care of a child who is already showing intense anger at 8 months of age. I'm deeply concerned and don't know how to comfort him and soothe him without also rewarding his angry volatile outburst. He slaps at us and pushes us away with extreme aggression and I'm desperate to find the proper tools to address his frustrations without fostering A sense that his physical aggression is acceptable.
The child is too young to make/understand such connections.
More of a physiological response.
When non-verbal, aggression is a primary means of communicating needs/distress.
Your expectations are appropriate with an older child.
I'd really check with a pediatrician.
Children have different temperaments...
Emotional/physiological "self regulation" (which is the issue you may be describing- It's usually aided by consistency and a nurturing response to the child's needs. There's no malice at 8 months...Sounds like you're talking about a toddler.)
When you say "taking care of" are you his/her parent or primary caregiver?
Could be an early sign of autism/sensory processing disorder, among other issues--why a pediatrician or child psychiatrist/developmental expert is important.
I recommend books by Stanley Greenspan.
He delves into the first developmental milestone: "self regulation/shared attention"...And how to respond effectively to a wide range of temperaments.
+Pathoplastic2: The Somnambulist Manifesto thank you so much chance for responding. We are very concerned about his sudden and inexplicable shift in mood and expressions of emotion. They are drastic shifts. Thank you again.
+Pathoplastic2: The Somnambulist Manifesto my apologies....yes, we have him 4-6 days out of every week. We are the primary caregivers.
+Pathoplastic2: The Somnambulist Manifesto he will be a year old in 6 days. He still has sudden outbursts. They seem to come out of nowhere.
if there are changes in a babies life when moving between houses it can be very unsettling and could be the cause of the extreme physiological response. There has been success with using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) even with infants. You can look on the EMDRia website to find a therapist in your area that offers this type of service. With babies it will not be the typical EMDR approach but there is still a lot that can be done in terms of neurological soothing. I am a EMDR therapist and have seen a lot of really great work with the smallest of children.
Super
Yeh. My gf and I broke up n I'm always angry.
I'm adopted right now and my parents still don't even understand why I'm still angry and 24 years old and I lost so much in my life my biological parents and they don't understand why I'm always angry I lost sisters I lost four sisters of mine I lost my biological father I lost my biological mother and went crazy now feel like right now I lost so much and I continue to be angry all the time now my adopted family doesn't understand all the information that comes on that side now they sort of treat me like I'm an outsider and I don't like that because it also makes me feel like I'm not a part of the family. 😔😞😟😩
I hope you are feeling better. I'm adopted too! I understand you .
Too many questions during an episode of an explosive child is not recommended
Always angry or crying
Pff we only fight
How ask questions without them thinking we’re (parents) digging into their feelings?
My youngest cousin 15 yrs old when i ask him about things he gets angry , just asking when he's done charging because the wall sockets are occupied and i need to charge and he says "No! Im not done yet! Then i asked him again why he's angry im just asking him . I dont really know whats happening , 2 of his brothers and he's only one has that kind of attitude .
My step-son still loves his absentee mother. I've been with his father for 5yrs. The step-son is unmotivated and angry with life. I'm pretty sure it's because he can't accept his mother doesn't want him. His twin brother has accepted this sad truth, but I'm still totally confused on how to deal with this stuff. Now things are worse because thier going through puberty. HELP!
Sasha Patrick did you ever find a solution?
Going through the same thing. What is the solution?
Thank you
Sir if child is game addict.how he can rid of from this problem??
Thanks sir.....this video helped me in some manner but I need some suggestions from you ...I'm a mom of 6.4yr kid....and the problem is if I tell him something he will agree on that but due to his behaviour he don't remember what his mom has told him not to do...eg when I take him to park he will hug other kid....he will pull them sometimes push them ..he snatches things from them and run as he wants them to run him behind...I always tell him that this is not gud pls don't do this otherwise I will not take u to the park...but still he does the same...it is same at home also ...if I tell him don't jump on table he will do it again and again...he had speech delay now he has started his sentences...pls give me some light on this I'm really very tensed....thanks in advance....
Help me doc my bro bully me when angry he just kick me in my pain parts dont believe ask him lol help.
My dad sent me this😂🤬
W hat can you do to help a child who is angry and cannot talk!
LET THEM KEEP THE ANGER I NEED ANGER FUEL FOR MY TROOPS AND THEY SEEM TO FIT RIGHT IN AFTER YEARS OF BUILDING MORE ANGER
It is so tiring. Jesus
another person who read tsh DSM IV memorizes the drugs and does a basic psychatric tasks
if you are angry it shows u care about someone or some situation... all anger can be replied to with love and it will help if the child has the ability
Don't worry its not your fault :)
If extreme look up PANDAS OF PANS
My oldest (step)son was killed by a texting driver a couple years ago and my youngest son has not processed his brother's death in a healthy way yet so he's angry all the time. He gets almost everything he wants and he gets everything he needs. I'm at a loss but I know there's nothing I can do. Cuz the fix is he misses his brother and I can't bring his brother back😭😭
Big long story. All the kids(4 kids/2moms) share their dad. However my oldest son's mom told me and my youngest son that we didn't have a right to be upset bc we weren't his "real family". We had been around him since he was 9. He passed away at 18. We were not new.
Then some other really messed up things happened. Too long for here. But I'm starting to realize there's nothing I can, can't, do or don't do. He wants his brother back. 😭😭
@TheTravelfool I already take Mixed Martial arts, and Parkour
Teana Dunham parkour is dangerous
Just whip them till they say sorry literally every parents does that.
No interested in public comments
ALL WRONG. Anger is a defense mechanism to keep from showing the.pain or discontent feelings. Most kids are looking to be loved, but with an angry child, he or she doesn't know how to accept or express love, so your methods will fain or be short lived.
RU4REAL well then what is Your helpful antidote!?