Mine made fake social media pro files of me impersonating me and wrote a blog how I did not care about the passing of both my French grandmother and grandfather. Instead of telling me she only told me when it was too late for me to attend. Afterwards she said I should have asked her for money to pay for the journey from England to France...but too late. She refused me the equivalent of a one dollar bus ticket to get back home as a teen. Been no contact since my mid 20s. Its tough but I have To. She made ra cist jokes at the dinner of Christmas 2015 despite my being bi rac ial. All my younger siblings in their 20s now believe I was raised in a "different generation" despite being also a millennial. They insult me and my mother smiles or smirks sweetly as if they speak poetry. I used to also vo mit bloo d at age 2 and three often. She told me I did it on purpose. If anyone can tell me why I threw up bl old as a small child I'd very much like to know. My father had his hands around my neck age 18...against a cracking window pane. My mother had to stop him or I would have dyed. Unfortunately she told all younger siblings back then (youngest being 8) a story as if I was the per petrator instead. I never deserved this. I'm 31 and have no one. Moved to other side of country for my safety. Nobody believes me. Wrote my com ment with spelling mistakes because I'm otherwise invisible for speaking the truth.
My narcissistic mother tortured me - her appointed scapegoat child. In front of others, she tried to look as though she was Mother of the Year but she was a nightmare behind closed doors. My father totally enabled her even though I told him what she was doing to me. I can just love, protect, and be proud of the little girl who survived years of abuse.
Same here the difference is my father and my brother abused me and my mother the enabler. After spending 27 years of constant abuse I am done with them my heart is done with them.
As a dude, my dad was a complete PUSSY who totally sucked up to my shitty Mom. Ironically, into his 70s, I had to tell my mom to stop treating him the way he treated me even though I moved 2,300 mi away decades ago
Mine did too, using guilt, anger and “parental authority-entitlement”. My brother has broken away and now she demonizes him to the rest of our relatives and gains their sympathy. Life circumstances moved me miles away - thank God!!
@@raccuia1 at one point for too many years..They were making me very ill. I would never want to fully know what they were doing to me, and along side these scarey doctors..At one point in highschool, drs said my immune system was shot. So I had to refuse going to doctors, lady raising me was forcing me too..And figure out nutrition and other methods on my own, prepare all my own food.. It got real bad, but then just stayed dedicated to regimens thru a natural doctor, reading stuff, and remedies to clean and build my immune system again. They wanted me trapped in their house forever, even if it meant I was half dead.
You nailed it!! When I was a teenager my mother took me to a psychologist, convinced there was something wrong with me. I was rebelling against her emotional abuse. We only went to one session because the psychologist didn't say I was the problem. Because she didn't hear what she wanted to, she deemed the psychologist incompetent.
I had exactly the same thing happen. The whole session was her being the victim. I barely got to speak. She refused to let me speak alone. Afraid I'd reveal the abuse. The doctor was sympathetic towards me and she couldn't stand it. How could she have raised a sl*t and pothead like my father. I'd never had sex or did a drug btw. When? Lol At school? They gave me some kind of test before we tt the doctor because I was very mentally unwell and that was why we we were supposed to be there... We never went back. I never got the results from that test.
Thiswas me but i was the one that wasn't listened or belived. It didn't help that i used to have behavioral issues dur to undiagnosed autims+ptsd. I was keep under heavy medication do i didn't talk sbout what happened under closed doors and each time the doctors realized i was overmedicated and tried to lower the dosage i was transfered to another psychiatrist and doped once more
My mother is like this. She just *cannot* move in to the adult to adult dynamic. She wants me to submit to her reality which is that my perspective doesn't exist. If I don't accept that my perspective is a huge act of aggression I perpetrate against her, the victim of me, then I'm written out. I have been written out. There can be no conversation. The shutters have come down. She has talked about me, to the point where the relatives are shunning me too now, but she will not talk to me. What can I do except give up. 😞
For my mom it was about being convinced I was having sex. I was like early teens when she started this rhetoric and campaign. She would use it as an excuse to not allow me to do normal things that teens do (e.g. going to the mall with friends; hanging out with friends anywhere). She would scream at me that if she wasn’t so “strict” with me I would have ten babies already. I hadn’t even kissed a boy yet when this all started. She’d call me “fast” and threatened to take me to the doctor to have them check my genitals to prove whether I was still a virgin or not. It was very terrifying and traumatizing to have to hear this hurled at me 24/7/365. HORRIBLE!
I had a female friend who went through this, I overheard a phone conversation and she was in tears! She became a lesbian then shamed into marrying an abusive man.
My mom was the same. Always screaming at me that I was sleeping around, doing drugs and touching myself. It was crazy but all her church friends acted like she was just a concerned mom. It was so disturbing.
Same here, to this day I don't want children because of that. She used to beat the hell of me and said this repeatedly "fall pregnant and see my true colors" by that time she right on top of me or hitting me with whatever is close to her hand. She passed on before we could talk about this. I'm 37 and still can't bear the thought of having children, I don't know if it's the effect of her words or my decision...
My mother physically abused me when I was a toddler and then shamed me my entire childhood for the coping mechanisms I develloped, like dissociating (dreamer) freezing (lazy-ass), avoiding (you're always late!) and so on.
Got into an argument with my mom over the summer via text. I was just standing up for myself and of course the extreme exaggeration and manipulation came into play, but then when she was really starting to see no tactic working she ended up in the hospital with high blood pressure. My family then turned to flying monkeys blaming me for making her so upset she was in the hospital. My dad refused to talk to me during the incident. My mom has high blood pressure bc she's been smoking for 40 years, refuses to take her medicine and eats salty fast food all the time. But it's my fault she has high blood pressure?!
My mom magically got some kind of high blood pressure issue going on the day I told her that we bought a new home and we wanted her to come see it with us. Suddenly she couldn't go anywhere but magically is ok enough to babysit my sisters kids. My sister was very jealous of us getting attention and is the Golden child where my mom seems to only be able to celebrate her. Since she mysteriously began having this high blood pressure issue she doesn't even call to see how I'm doing anymore. They are all doing the silent treatment after I pointed out how they were acting towards me. Rather than apologize which narcissists are incapable of, they just simply quit communicating. 4:11
My narc mother finally died in November’22 ! Though I’d love to actually celebrate that ( lol), I have autoimmune stuff that’s been flaring up so bad since then it’s crazy. She had a good side but true to narcs we had nearly to no actual relationship of course. Mourning is starting to diminish tho and I’m determining my extreme autoimmune responses will follow too… clawing my way back into the light now!
This is the story from every child with a covert mom. So sad and people who do not experienced it in live will not understand the situation. Because that sweet mother who is so social and nice for others, how can she be that other personality. And the child think it is their fault. I must be such a terrible person, because why is she nice to others and not to me. And you do everything to make her see you are a good person. It will never be good enough! Start to love yourself and never give up the faith! One day you will see you are good enough. And Jesus loves and likes you the way you are. God bless you all.
I was just chasing my dog I’ve always dreamed of having around my own house I’ve always dreamed of having, thinking to myself “I’d rather have this, alone and never married, than another day with my mother. I am truly free now.” ❤
I can't thank you enough for the insightful explanation, Kevin. It was a mystery to me that my mother called me as the being stubborn child early in the childhood years way before I could understand all the different concepts of understanding. I wondered up to now what was it based on. Again, thank you, Kevin, and blessings to you 🙏🏻🎉
My mother used to expect everything from me, being good at school, taking care of my siblings, doing housework and being a mother to her and to my father. All the weight was on my shoulders while they had their sisters and brothers to deal with. It was too much for me and I see the consequences now. If I would say no for something, she would tell everyone that I am stubborn. That was such a lie. I had to say yes to everything. She wouldn’t let me wear a dress cause then if something happens to me, (rape) it means I deserved it and I cannot complain to her. I had to wear shirts with long sleeves, jeans and no make-up. She would constantly control me, and she appeared jealous as well. When I told her that I got a compliment from a boy at school, she would start getting mad and yelling at me. I was 22 when I found a boyfriend for the first time, who is now my husband. I was afraid she wouldn’t approve cause she might say I am too young. There are so many things to mention :( that happened in my stupid life. Sorry for the long comment.
@@Sara2016a Thank you for sharing the experience. It is truly horrible when those we trust as a child could do the unthinkable to us. Hope you find a way to deal with the situation by now. God bless you 🤞🏻
Just realising this myself. All my life my mum made sure I knew there was something wrong with me, that I was "bad". But I'm very popular, especially at work. The level of cognitive dissonance I've been experiencing recently has been absolutely excruciating. That voice in my head getting louder and louder. Realising that it's my mother's voice, not my inner critic. Things are getting clearer and that rage I feel, is a very deep feeling of grief and despair. I'm just spending less and less time with old "friends" who I've unconsciously chosen to validate my worthlessness. Seeking to form friendships with people who see the good in me. It really is true that hurt people, hurt people ❤
My mum constantly reminded me on the lead up to my birthday that because of me she missed out on her breakfast (I was born at 4.12am and my older brother, nicknamed “Sunshine” was born 1pm) When I challenged her from my very young age that it was possibly reversed, she wouldn’t hear of it and kept up the resentment towards me. Her and my brother have always been jealous and resentful of me, but happiness with my husband and children are my biggest success and priority. It kills them that we’re so happy. Thankfully at 53 I’ve just found out that they’re both narcissists and gone no contact. Life is great. Love from Australia
My mother is like this in public she tells people that I am her rock and doesn't know how she could do another with me for support, but at home she says that she hates me and that even though I am her daughter she doesn't think of me as family. Everything has to be about her, she lies to doctors to get sympathy, or she tells them I raised my voice at her but won't says what she did to have me do that. Says I am the problem and that there is nothing wrong with her. At times I think she wants to start a fight.
This is exactly what I grew up with. Now I am able to see things for what they really are. I am becoming stronger and healthier and able to set healthy boundaries. I thank God that I am breaking free from my mother's abuse and can't wait to move on with my life for me and my kids!!
So so difficult to deal with.. my ex mother in law.. exactly.. she had her own tactics of control.. first I didnt realize, thought she s a good person, I couldnt and didnt see the truth! All she wanted was control over OUR life! She was always curious (she still is to her son) but in the end I cut all my ties! What a weight she was on me! I feel so relieved after going no contact!
I was waiting for you to give an example then you explained my childhood. My mother forced me into an Adderall addiction when I was 8 Even after all of the abuse, I still feel guilty that I don't have a better relationship with my mom. When my friends would say that they love their mom, I would feel deep guilt Now I live multiple states away
Neither you or your mum are responsible this is a predominantly sub-conscious issue, suggest you teach yourself to feel sorry for you mother and develop interests in your own strengths,passions,desires and things you value and gain pleasure doing
My mom did this to me when I was in college. She told me I was bi-polar, manic, and tried to prove to me that I had addictions to alcohol and marijuana. But there was nothing wrong with me, in fact I was thriving. She told all of her friends and even went to support meetings. Everyone just believed her while I had to deal with the realization that my own mother didn't love me. It continued for another 10 years until she finally died. Then my brother continued her abuse, triangulating with my dead beat dad, which ended this year with a 12 year old post death letter blaming me for him not being a father to me. I'm 48 years old and reliving all of their narcissistic abuse right now, it's a nightmare. At least I finally know what to call it, thanks to videos like this.
Listening to what you’re saying I could swear you witnessed my life in person. I wish I could have been informed years ago. I put up with the abuse until they both passed (my parents). I was the scapegoat that always had hope that they would change. It didn’t in fact it only got worse way worse. If you’re still young and see this go no contact now. Live YOUR life.
This is my mother. Decades of control and trying to squash my independence. She once tried to stop me getting a car by claiming she gave me the money I was going to use for it and trying to ask for it back.
My husband has started his healing work a year ago, when he realised what his life was really all about. To witness how much he struggles as he is discovering how much he was abused by the covert Narcissistic mother of his, it really is heartbreaking. He has an identity crisis amongst all his problems, all what I can see, makes me truly be convinced that covert Narcissists are cruel and conscious predictor monsters, they are really the worst.😢
I grew up with a narcissistic aunt, she'd humiliate me at a few family event, more so after my grandmother passed. I'm here today because after 16 years I'm just now starting to see signs of covert narcissist in my MIL. Until my husband and I had our baby almost 3 years ago I pretty much never saw her. Now that we have a toddler starting to gain her independence, my MIL is starting to force favoritism on my daughter through clothes that say Nana this, Papa that. And she is all about buying my daughter's love. I've also seen signs of previous abuse in my husband the whole time we've been together although he's never going to admit it, he just says all his depression and anxiety is from so much bullying from other kids. But now my eyes are wide open and I'm glad I only have to see her about once a month.
My mother humiliated me by convincing everyone that I was stupid and had dyslexia. I proved her wrong - as I now have a BA in English and a BSc in psychology. I’m also no contact - with a calm, happy, healthy family of my own.
This is so true. My mother used therapists to try and control my brother and I when we were teenagers, even as adults. Everything you say is true; she doesn't want to lose control. She is a freak. I never realised how much of a monster she was until I started looking into this... Therapy and the medical field are good inherently, but they are flawed. And unfortunately, a lot of well-meaning therapists believe these monsters in human skin, to the detriment of the child. I avoided therapy for such a long time despite knowing I have so much trauma and so many problems because of how my mum used those systems to manipulate me. She has all but destroyed my life, and there is only one reason I haven't decided to simply stop living, that is my husband. If it weren't for him, I don't know what I would do, I know I would not be, that much is certain.
My mom took me from therapist to therapist cause there was "something wrong with me" all the therapists told us she was the problem...she didn't accept this answer so it suited her well to tell everyone she has to keep taking me to therapy cause there is "something wrong with me"...yip...needed to hear this podcast for sure! Unfortunately damage is already done...a broken child is built on broken pieces...cannot redo it...hopefully just not pass dysfunction onto our own kids
I'll tell you in short. They're isolating you from everyone (especially those who could potentially help you/ give you haeven). So I guess grandparents fit in the criteria. This is also a good friend filter. If your narc parents get friendly with your friends, time to reevaluate, and reevaluate hard...
Omg this video just shook me to my core. It just summed up my mom and my entire childhood. I always knew something was wrong but I never knew what. I cried and cried watching this
My mother called me in when the streetlights came on in the evening. I was 18. My First Date was a day date to a big amusement park. She told me I couldn’t go. I went anyway. I came home to the worst scolding of my life. She said I had scared her so bad. She had no idea where I was. She knew exactly where I was and who I was with. I was 19.
It took me so long, my whole life. To realize my mother is a narcissist. Even her own friends notice it , and tell me. She couldnt be more mean, hurtful , harmful and overall....had kids to benefit her. Not to raise them She's been in 4 marraiges. And I know why now. .
Many symptoms of ADHD mirror those of a child who has a narcissistic mother. Can’t focus, anxiety, difficulty making decisions, poor concentration, nervous fidgeting, emotional exhaustion, negative emotional reactions. My mom would offer to babysit my daughter & as a single mom I needed the help badly. I also was scared to use a sitter (horror stories) so I was grateful for my mom. Except she’d call me at work screaming criticisms that I wasn’t “home with my daughter who misses me” & accusing me of DUMPING my child on her. I grew up with her as my mom & to this day I can’t think straight. My daughter now believes I never wanted her because of what my mom told her. I tried moving but my mom told my child our house was haunted so my daughter would have freak outs not wanting to be at home and of course my mom would swoop in to let her stay with her … while complaining I’m a terrible, terrible mother. :(😢
I had no idea my mother was the problem until I started losing my hearing. 15 years into the hearing loss and living far away when I had to spend a few months with my family and my mother kept losing her temper with me Every time I would submissively touch my ear with my elbows tucked in to indicate I can not hear her. I can read lips and function with most people who face me and give me body language. She would just point her head down and mumble then snap as I can hear her. She would try to come up with ways to blame it on my behavior but by age 40 and living away from the toxic family for about 20 years my behavior was impeccable. I just wasn’t acting up like she needed me too in order to blame me. This agreed her more. After the rest of the family piled on as if I caused this problem I observed how my mother treated my siblings. She was facing them and speaking louder. Siblings would also get angry at me for not hearing them because I guess I was the scapegoat. About to turn 50 and all of them and everyone they know are out of my life. They have no idea where I live and I don’t care if they are dead or alive because o do not need them
she had dragged and influenced every relatives i know to join her army against me, unfortunately many of my relatives iQ isn't that high and had turned into her flying monkeys, spies and mouth. Bad mouthing me every way she could hoping i would come crawling back and beg for her mercy. I just keep quiet and watch her non-stop drama. i know she can't be changed, i tried. she doesn't want to listen at all what I have to say, let alone change.
Narcissistic covert father does the same thing. My child is autistic and he portrays himself as he’s so caring and loving the child but the reality is completely opposite.
I was in a 14 year long relationship with a covert narcissist. My children's father. I am no contact with stay away orders. My heart breaks. I feel I am a covert narcissistic mother sometimes. My children are my trigger for my anger and rage. I do not want to ruin my children.....I have tried to control my temper and I go from 0 to 1000 to quick. Then the guilt afterwards., why can't I catch the anger before the rage.
Thank you , you're so right about everything. Its so true. My mother is a Narcissist. I am the oldest out of five children she had and i am the only one who knew something was wrong the way i was raised growing. I knew i was set apart. I been the black sheep in my family. My mother always screams you gotta honor your parents. My mother was raised catholic growing up and she hates the truth. She saids there is something wrong with me when its her that has a mental illness. Narcissists are liars, Narcissists dont want to love you or know anything about at all. Naracists are pure evil souls from the Devil. Narcissists are like a child trapped inside a adults body and its all about there needs and wants. Narcissists are very lazy people.
I have a wonderful combo narc mom.. she started lying to me when I was 12.. she tried to get me beat up by my friends in high school.. she left me when I was going to the 12th grade.. reclaimed me.. then continuously yo yo me in and out of her life.. I’m a nervous anxious wreck.. I attract felons and I can’t trust my own thinking.. I definitely need a therapist and my box was called arrogant.. because of my arrogance I’m on punishment for years..
My mother died Seven years ago but this was what was happening... The first video I've come across with some valuable things to understand and heal from
Oh yeah, my mother was a Covert Narc and all four sisters took after her. I have one sister who is better at it than my mother was. She is SOOO malignant of the toxic Narc...
OK I'm ready to hear about that narcissist mother because I had a mother who was a narcissist now my son who is 55 years old is the narcissist I'm lost
Wow. You nailed the “uses medical field” against you- making up weird stuff! Especially against the truth teller. The NPD mother care nothing for the damage she causes.
I wanted to get away from my mother SO badly that I only applied to California colleges. (I'm from NYC - - Manhattan) She threatened to cut me off, so I attended college in Manhattan instead.
It's all about trying to justify their abuse. They know it's wrong. They just want to have a good enough reason so people don't see them as a bad person
This is WHY I don't like it when my kids are around my ex wife Narc. She's very quick to throw them into a therapist office the minute they have "a meltdown" (disagree or don't do what she says)... Yet, to the outside world she tries to portray herself as SuperMom... SMH... She pretends to be so altruistic around others when in reality she doesn't give a damn about ANYONE.
My mother loves using the medical field, making it worse.. she is an RN herself and super intelligent so, lots of jargon and medical terminology being used from as early as I can remember. Around 14-15 I was struggling at school, she decided it was "school phobia" had me seen by several medical professionals willing to corroborate her opinion and then she used it as an excuse to keep me home. It wasn't as obvious to me back then because she portrayed it as if she was being nurturing. I didn't understand the ramifications or her true motivation and basically dropped out at 14. Later in life managed to get GED and a college degree but I would have loved a more traditional education that allowed the full experience like friendships and school dances. I was a fat and depressed kid that spent nearly 100% of my time with her, by her design. Finally escaped when I latched onto an older man and moved to another state at 18.
They also love to complain about their kids like the baby kept me up all night.. no body helps me, wanting a baby sitter but then keep having more kids. Its all for attention. Complain, have more kids, attention attention
A person with Munchausen syndrome by proxy often: Has medical skills or experience. Seems devoted to their child. Looks for sympathy and attention. Tries too hard to become close and friendly with medical staff. Needs to feel powerful and in control. Does not see their behaviour as harmful.
My mother used astrology and numerology (or any other "ology" she could find) to find any faults she could find about me to smack me with it on numerous occasions: in anger, for fun, of boredom. Funny thing is she used all descriptions that could be easily attributed to her own character. Now I'm laughing at this, but damage is done. Those types will use anything that will prove them right in their pathological thinking.
My own Jezebel mother almost killed me since the first second ! Keep disconnecting with her ! I am there almost there ! Fck why ! Why I grew up from those type of motherhood !
I live with my mother because she drugged me for years and any time I tell someone they all say I am crazy.... I hate living with my parents. I am 33 years old and I am not even allowed to keep my bedroom door closed.
My mother gets really jealous and hateful of me. Especially when I’m in a time of crises and not doing well. She will always do her best to make me feel worse. I don’t know why she does it. When I was a teenager she used to accuse me of a sexual relationship with my step father (who I have had as a father role for most my life and always seen him as a father). It screwed my mind up a lot. I remember her calling me names and constantly accusing me of things I haven’t done. At 16 years old she found out about S.A that had happened to me by my youth worker. Instead of being supported at this time she was acting out like a child who was mad they didn’t get their favourite toy for Christmas. She made sure to do her best to stop me from getting any help. She even tried to make it worse by telling me even then that I was sleeping with my step dad. I don’t know why but in times of mental health crises I end up trying to reach out to her cause I have no one.. I always come out of these phone calls either worse off or suicidal. I can’t understand why she’s so hateful towards me and I for the life of me can’t quite figure out why she gets jealous and displays jealous behaviors when she sees me suffering !! She’s even gone as far as getting my step father and half brother to block me when I’ve called for support. I’m not needy I’m not even contacting every single time I’m mentally unwell. It’s only the rare times I truly have no one else to turn to and she makes sure to even hang up on me some times while I’m in the middle of talking. I’m 27 now and I see her becoming less and less interested in being in my life. Good riddens.
I have a granddaughter that has this mother and I have tried to legally get her out of this situation for 15 years now. I don’t know how to help her to get away from this. The mother has her so mentally weak and my granddaughter is so feared of her that she can’t help herself, help me get her out. Seen her go downhill every year. Is it too late? Will there ever be a day when I can help her help herself?
My MIL..... I have an autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis (it is a very painful disease).... I can't work because of it.... My MIL swoons on "My poor son has to take care of his wife. She should be helping and working too. It's not fair my son has to do everything. She should have dinner ready by 6 when he gets home. My son shouldn't have to do yard work, or cook if his wife is home all day"...... Then she tells me, "You can't have chronic pain..." 😑🙄 Married for 22+ years. I was properly diagnosed with AS at age 42, I experienced chronic pain for ten years before I was properly diagnosed by a rheumatologist (blood work, MRI of my SI joints showed proof of AS). My husband and I were married for 19 years by the time I got my correct diagnosis. What did she think her son would do, divorce me and move back in with mommy and take care of her? Ummm.... No.
I have known some of these kinds of people. It's horrible. I've seen some kids leave home and never go back. 1 I know went on Dr. Phil..he called her out.
My mother used to call on the phone her brother (my uncle) to complain about how difficult I was (starting at age 10-11 and the rest of my life) and to Praise my sister to him. She also called her best female friend to complain about me. I was In the house when she made the phone calls. I listened at the door to her complaints about me. Another time, when I closed my bedroom door, my mother Barged In and said How Dare you close the door against me? So and so used to do that and I won’t stand for it!!!!! She used The Silent Treatment on me. She would go in her bedroom and not speak to me. I would go in there and stand next to where she was sitting. She didn’t say anything to me. She didn’t hug me. I stood there in this isolated state and had to leave the room and wait for many many more hours before she would speak to me again. When I was 10-11 especially, I couldn’t figure out what I did that was so bad that she did this to me.
From the other perspective: I’m sure I’m being accused to be a narcissistic mother. My daughter hasn’t spoken to me in 13 years. Yesterday I found out I had become a grandmother, my newborn grandchild without my reach. This is a lifetime grief that’s doesn’t ever fade. My friend has all her four grown up children turned against her from an obviously narcissistic uncle. This has become usual but there’s little or no support for all grieving parents. Could this be a topic here ?
My ex wife is covert. She did it to me. She does it to the kids. She uses emotional covert manipulation. My kids don't talk to me because of this. God is good. All things for his purpose.
This is apparently a multi-generational issue, I'm a narcissist, my mom is a narcissist, and her mom was a narcissist. I don't know how far back it goes. I rebelled heavily in my adolescence. I too was sent to the psych ward in an attempt to figure out what was wrong with me, nobody ever addressed what was happening at home or my sinister, uber-controlling mother. Instead, it was all on me. Test after test, the psych told my dad that there was nothing he could find; I was apparently just an asshole (his exact words). So I continued, drinking, drugs, high risk behavior, occasional violent episodes....it was just me, being an asshole. I'm reminded of Billy Bibbet (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) after he got laid, his stutter was gone, smiling and relaxed, Nurse Ratched said she was going to tell his mother and the stutter returned, he then committed suicide. It's all so tragic, a mother passes it to her children, who passes it on to her children, who pass it on to their children, etc. No wonder we have such a high rate of mental illness. We have all these narc mothers wreaking havoc and no one even LOOKS at them as the source of the problem.
I hope you cross the line and do a segment on covert fathers and molesting their daughters and how lack of accountability really sets us up for dissatisfaction in life and relationships.
I have a disability and my mom do that she don't go on Facebook and stuff but behind close door she will mistreat me and treat her other kids better she would make everyone thinks I am does bad child
Watching your video, all teenagers should be misled to believe that their mothers are all narcissists who try to control them and they all must be rebellant to stay independent. It is dangerous. Parents are supposed to teach their children right from wrong. The different between a narcissist mother and a caring mother is that, the first mother leads her children following her way for her own gains while the second mother guides her children following the right paths for their better lives. Please look at both sides of one problem.
My adoptive mom is a covert. I won't tolerate the behavior, but it's so engrained in her, she won't do anything different, so i accept that and her for her, and I'll just fck off over here and smile. My sister i just figured out this is what she is as well. She's destroying her own children and didn't even know it. It's gross. I mean really gross. After my dad just died, she tried to pull out some fake heirarchy where she's at the top and most important and exploited his final hours to Garner sympathy. I had enough, she's stolen every idea I've ever told her about, claimed my information and understandings as her own to put on a show for other people. She forgets I'm the source of her information and tells me like a parrot. Well, i shattered her illusion and called her on it. She tried to apologize but she turned it on me and i called her on that too and did not accept the apology. Then she tried to give me the silent treatment and turned cold. Idfc, i really don't care and i won't run, in going to call it out.
Yes this is disgusting. My narc mother did this with my son when he was younger. She wanted him sick or something wrong with him. She was constantly having me having him checked for something. Diabetes, needing glasses, reflux, etc. And she insisted on attending all of his doctor appointments & she would challenge his doctor. Even without a diagnosis & before an appointment, she’d get on the phone with her church ladies & get a “prayer chain” going. I was a new mom & didn’t know better so I went along with it. But then I started figuring her out & I put a stop to it. I’ve apologized to my son (he’s 22 now) so many times for putting him through all that unnecessary bs. She’s tried it with me as well…oh you’ve got this wrong with you…stfu. I’m not playing anymore ✌️
For sure the ouvert way better lesser of the 2 world's. My mother is a covert narcissistic mother and she has 2 psychology degrees and I happen to look like her first husband she hates . She's been married 3 times
My mother to a teeth. I broke away from my entire family because of this. You forgot to mention covert emotional incest. Utilize the son as a husband. I forgive her, this came from trauma, no healthy person acts like this. Still I am not sacrificing myself on the alter of her wounds.
Oh yes, emotional incest!!! It happened here. Husband put daughter up on this pedestal and shared his problems with her, effectively taking away her childhood. Child's shoulders were not made for carrying the adult load. Meanwhile, I was jockeying for position in my own house. I felt like the maid. It is creepy. Wife is queen of her house, daughter will be queen of her own one day.
@@deborahshankovich8442 yep! It’s Satan creeping in to destroy the natural order. Be careful it can also be touchy feely. But that seems more common with women.
Same here with the emotional incest. My sister treated me like her spouse and her kid simultaneously. Also I was HER mother when she was sick or needed reassurance
💢And let's talk about triangulating the son-husband with the husband-son, causing confusion between the roles in the household. It's devastating to come to grips with the fact that the "father" role is actually competing with the "son" role, and the Narc is orchestrating it all!!! It's depressing to know that the dysfunction won't cease, and the Narc will insist her target to be the confidant. 🤬It's like no matter how hard the target fights to stay out of the games, the target will always be labeled as the co-defendant, especially by the "father" role‼️ They are damned if they do damned if they don't. 😡🤬😤
Out of all the terrible things a narcissistic mother can do to you The worst by far is the gaslighting because they literally take control of your mind and hijack your perception of the world. I'm so thankful for the internet and for having this incredibly valuable information even if it's a bit late in life but it's better late than never, and knowledge is power
If you havnt had a demon covert mother narc,you'll never understand it and that makes me glad because it means you didnt experience it....Its incomprehensible to others that I went no contact 3 years ago with my Mum and 2 sisters and that's ok...im still walking the planet and my two spoilt dogs are living the life of royalty🥰🇦🇺 And believe it or not im childless..BIG SURPRISE
Extremely dangerous to have a Covert Narcassist mother. I needed this information decades ago!!
Same
me too i hate her so much and her flying monkey glad to be no contact
Make murderers 😢
True
Mine made fake social media pro files of me impersonating me and wrote a blog how I did not care about the passing of both my French grandmother and grandfather. Instead of telling me she only told me when it was too late for me to attend. Afterwards she said I should have asked her for money to pay for the journey from England to France...but too late. She refused me the equivalent of a one dollar bus ticket to get back home as a teen.
Been no contact since my mid 20s. Its tough but I have To. She made ra cist jokes at the dinner of Christmas 2015 despite my being bi rac ial. All my younger siblings in their 20s now believe I was raised in a "different generation" despite being also a millennial. They insult me and my mother smiles or smirks sweetly as if they speak poetry. I used to also vo mit bloo d at age 2 and three often. She told me I did it on purpose. If anyone can tell me why I threw up bl old as a small child I'd very much like to know.
My father had his hands around my neck age 18...against a cracking window pane. My mother had to stop him or I would have dyed. Unfortunately she told all younger siblings back then (youngest being 8) a story as if I was the per petrator instead.
I never deserved this. I'm 31 and have no one. Moved to other side of country for my safety. Nobody believes me.
Wrote my com ment with spelling mistakes because I'm otherwise invisible for speaking the truth.
My narcissistic mother tortured me - her appointed scapegoat child. In front of others, she tried to look as though she was Mother of the Year but she was a nightmare behind closed doors. My father totally enabled her even though I told him what she was doing to me. I can just love, protect, and be proud of the little girl who survived years of abuse.
Same here the difference is my father and my brother abused me and my mother the enabler. After spending 27 years of constant abuse I am done with them my heart is done with them.
Gosh, I could have written this word for word.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so screwed up. Still
I'm 47
@@samramajeed5315hey how are you,? 😊❤❤❤❤❤❤ you are enough you are loved
As a dude, my dad was a complete PUSSY who totally sucked up to my shitty Mom. Ironically, into his 70s, I had to tell my mom to stop treating him the way he treated me even though I moved 2,300 mi away decades ago
Same 😩😭
Mine did too, using guilt, anger and “parental authority-entitlement”. My brother has broken away and now she demonizes him to the rest of our relatives and gains their sympathy. Life circumstances moved me miles away - thank God!!
So sorry you went through this crap. She is under curse. You are blessed. Might seem extreme, but they are kind of evil caretakers:(❤️💔❤️
Or the other thing these non humans do is make up a story that their child has an illness of some kind. This is called Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.
@@raccuia1 at one point for too many years..They were making me very ill. I would never want to fully know what they were doing to me, and along side these scarey doctors..At one point in highschool, drs said my immune system was shot. So I had to refuse going to doctors, lady raising me was forcing me too..And figure out nutrition and other methods on my own, prepare all my own food.. It got real bad, but then just stayed dedicated to regimens thru a natural doctor, reading stuff, and remedies to clean and build my immune system again. They wanted me trapped in their house forever, even if it meant I was half dead.
What a horrible experience.I know the experience too well.
@@fireupyourheartfortruth they are pure evil.
You nailed it!! When I was a teenager my mother took me to a psychologist, convinced there was something wrong with me. I was rebelling against her emotional abuse. We only went to one session because the psychologist didn't say I was the problem. Because she didn't hear what she wanted to, she deemed the psychologist incompetent.
I just realized I have acted out on purpose around her because I just don’t know how to deal with the painful thoughts
Same thing happened to me
I had exactly the same thing happen. The whole session was her being the victim. I barely got to speak. She refused to let me speak alone. Afraid I'd reveal the abuse.
The doctor was sympathetic towards me and she couldn't stand it. How could she have raised a sl*t and pothead like my father. I'd never had sex or did a drug btw. When? Lol At school?
They gave me some kind of test before we tt the doctor because I was very mentally unwell and that was why we we were supposed to be there... We never went back. I never got the results from that test.
Thiswas me but i was the one that wasn't listened or belived. It didn't help that i used to have behavioral issues dur to undiagnosed autims+ptsd. I was keep under heavy medication do i didn't talk sbout what happened under closed doors and each time the doctors realized i was overmedicated and tried to lower the dosage i was transfered to another psychiatrist and doped once more
She marched me to there at 16
Dr wanted to meet with her, she told me she wasn't the problem. 🤷🏾♀️
My mother is like this. She just *cannot* move in to the adult to adult dynamic. She wants me to submit to her reality which is that my perspective doesn't exist. If I don't accept that my perspective is a huge act of aggression I perpetrate against her, the victim of me, then I'm written out. I have been written out. There can be no conversation. The shutters have come down. She has talked about me, to the point where the relatives are shunning me too now, but she will not talk to me. What can I do except give up. 😞
Take it as a blessing to let go of carrying that toxic relationship on your back. It's better to let her go.
I gave it up.3years ago,peace and joy are coming in to my life as the dross comes to the surface for healing.
Eventually the relatives will realize she’s bonkers. Hang in there!
Your so much better off away from this. It might sound hard but see it for what it is.
Call on Jesus, you’re his anyways
For my mom it was about being convinced I was having sex. I was like early teens when she started this rhetoric and campaign. She would use it as an excuse to not allow me to do normal things that teens do (e.g. going to the mall with friends; hanging out with friends anywhere). She would scream at me that if she wasn’t so “strict” with me I would have ten babies already. I hadn’t even kissed a boy yet when this all started. She’d call me “fast” and threatened to take me to the doctor to have them check my genitals to prove whether I was still a virgin or not. It was very terrifying and traumatizing to have to hear this hurled at me 24/7/365. HORRIBLE!
I had a female friend who went through this, I overheard a phone conversation and she was in tears! She became a lesbian then shamed into marrying an abusive man.
My mom was the same. Always screaming at me that I was sleeping around, doing drugs and touching myself. It was crazy but all her church friends acted like she was just a concerned mom. It was so disturbing.
Same here, to this day I don't want children because of that. She used to beat the hell of me and said this repeatedly "fall pregnant and see my true colors" by that time she right on top of me or hitting me with whatever is close to her hand.
She passed on before we could talk about this.
I'm 37 and still can't bear the thought of having children, I don't know if it's the effect of her words or my decision...
It was projection. She did it at a young age and still carried shame for it.
@@adventureswitharizonaart6117 Wow! You know I never thought of that! I wonder…🤔
My mother physically abused me when I was a toddler and then shamed me my entire childhood for the coping mechanisms I develloped, like dissociating (dreamer) freezing (lazy-ass), avoiding (you're always late!) and so on.
Used these coping methods as well. Until I was about 50 years old.
If you're an independent child; you're uncontrollable. Nope, just not easily manipulated.
It’s as if god gave scapegoats extra independent super powers, maybe an extra hug before we went into this life. ❤
Control is the goal. If only I had know this.
My mother has spent a life time on the phone devaluing one person to another, every hour of every day
My mother did that until she drove everyone out of her life. Now all she has is Facebook friends.
Got into an argument with my mom over the summer via text. I was just standing up for myself and of course the extreme exaggeration and manipulation came into play, but then when she was really starting to see no tactic working she ended up in the hospital with high blood pressure. My family then turned to flying monkeys blaming me for making her so upset she was in the hospital. My dad refused to talk to me during the incident. My mom has high blood pressure bc she's been smoking for 40 years, refuses to take her medicine and eats salty fast food all the time. But it's my fault she has high blood pressure?!
My mother is a vulnerable narcissist.
@@angelm795wow that's so sad.. did you eventually get away from her ? Or still contact her
I'm sorry to hear this I understand, i'm dealing with a covert narc mother, Times are tough. Hope your doing well@@angelm795
My mom magically got some kind of high blood pressure issue going on the day I told her that we bought a new home and we wanted her to come see it with us. Suddenly she couldn't go anywhere but magically is ok enough to babysit my sisters kids. My sister was very jealous of us getting attention and is the Golden child where my mom seems to only be able to celebrate her. Since she mysteriously began having this high blood pressure issue she doesn't even call to see how I'm doing anymore. They are all doing the silent treatment after I pointed out how they were acting towards me. Rather than apologize which narcissists are incapable of, they just simply quit communicating. 4:11
@@concertexperiences1602 eerie how similar narcs are!
My narc mother finally died in November’22 ! Though I’d love to actually celebrate that ( lol), I have autoimmune stuff that’s been flaring up so bad since then it’s crazy. She had a good side but true to narcs we had nearly to no actual relationship of course. Mourning is starting to diminish tho and I’m determining my extreme autoimmune responses will follow too… clawing my way back into the light now!
My mom has been gone for 5 yrs - you'll get there - I don't miss her at all.
@@pennyjackson1699 thank you, it’s getting easier.🙂
This is the story from every child with a covert mom. So sad and people who do not experienced it in live will not understand the situation. Because that sweet mother who is so social and nice for others, how can she be that other personality. And the child think it is their fault. I must be such a terrible person, because why is she nice to others and not to me. And you do everything to make her see you are a good person. It will never be good enough! Start to love yourself and never give up the faith! One day you will see you are good enough. And Jesus loves and likes you the way you are. God bless you all.
Exactly
You nailed it. I grew up having a covert narcissistic mother and eventually gone no contact. I feel like a weight has been lifted.
I was just chasing my dog I’ve always dreamed of having around my own house I’ve always dreamed of having, thinking to myself “I’d rather have this, alone and never married, than another day with my mother. I am truly free now.” ❤
I can't thank you enough for the insightful explanation, Kevin. It was a mystery to me that my mother called me as the being stubborn child early in the childhood years way before I could understand all the different concepts of understanding. I wondered up to now what was it based on. Again, thank you, Kevin, and blessings to you 🙏🏻🎉
Yes
My mother used to expect everything from me, being good at school, taking care of my siblings, doing housework and being a mother to her and to my father. All the weight was on my shoulders while they had their sisters and brothers to deal with. It was too much for me and I see the consequences now. If I would say no for something, she would tell everyone that I am stubborn. That was such a lie. I had to say yes to everything. She wouldn’t let me wear a dress cause then if something happens to me, (rape) it means I deserved it and I cannot complain to her. I had to wear shirts with long sleeves, jeans and no make-up. She would constantly control me, and she appeared jealous as well. When I told her that I got a compliment from a boy at school, she would start getting mad and yelling at me. I was 22 when I found a boyfriend for the first time, who is now my husband. I was afraid she wouldn’t approve cause she might say I am too young. There are so many things to mention :( that happened in my stupid life. Sorry for the long comment.
@@Sara2016a Don't apologise. Your comment wasn't as long as your put-upon, micromanaged childhood! ((((()))))
@@Sara2016a Thank you for sharing the experience. It is truly horrible when those we trust as a child could do the unthinkable to us. Hope you find a way to deal with the situation by now. God bless you 🤞🏻
@@juliatamalo7916 Thank you for your kind words! God Bless you too ❤️
Just realising this myself. All my life my mum made sure I knew there was something wrong with me, that I was "bad". But I'm very popular, especially at work. The level of cognitive dissonance I've been experiencing recently has been absolutely excruciating. That voice in my head getting louder and louder. Realising that it's my mother's voice, not my inner critic. Things are getting clearer and that rage I feel, is a very deep feeling of grief and despair. I'm just spending less and less time with old "friends" who I've unconsciously chosen to validate my worthlessness. Seeking to form friendships with people who see the good in me. It really is true that hurt people, hurt people ❤
My mum constantly reminded me on the lead up to my birthday that because of me she missed out on her breakfast (I was born at 4.12am and my older brother, nicknamed “Sunshine” was born 1pm) When I challenged her from my very young age that it was possibly reversed, she wouldn’t hear of it and kept up the resentment towards me. Her and my brother have always been jealous and resentful of me, but happiness with my husband and children are my biggest success and priority. It kills them that we’re so happy. Thankfully at 53 I’ve just found out that they’re both narcissists and gone no contact. Life is great. Love from Australia
My mother is like this in public she tells people that I am her rock and doesn't know how she could do another with me for support, but at home she says that she hates me and that even though I am her daughter she doesn't think of me as family. Everything has to be about her, she lies to doctors to get sympathy, or she tells them I raised my voice at her but won't says what she did to have me do that. Says I am the problem and that there is nothing wrong with her. At times I think she wants to start a fight.
This is exactly what I grew up with. Now I am able to see things for what they really are. I am becoming stronger and healthier and able to set healthy boundaries. I thank God that I am breaking free from my mother's abuse and can't wait to move on with my life for me and my kids!!
So so difficult to deal with.. my ex mother in law.. exactly.. she had her own tactics of control.. first I didnt realize, thought she s a good person, I couldnt and didnt see the truth! All she wanted was control over OUR life! She was always curious (she still is to her son) but in the end I cut all my ties! What a weight she was on me! I feel so relieved after going no contact!
I was waiting for you to give an example then you explained my childhood. My mother forced me into an Adderall addiction when I was 8
Even after all of the abuse, I still feel guilty that I don't have a better relationship with my mom. When my friends would say that they love their mom, I would feel deep guilt
Now I live multiple states away
Neither you or your mum are responsible this is a predominantly sub-conscious issue, suggest you teach yourself to feel sorry for you mother and develop interests in your own strengths,passions,desires and things you value and gain pleasure doing
@@glenncooper4379 thank you
@@keennanvisga9741 glad you understood
@@glenncooper4379 I understand. I've been focusing on my passions for a while but I can do better ❤️
My mom did this to me when I was in college. She told me I was bi-polar, manic, and tried to prove to me that I had addictions to alcohol and marijuana. But there was nothing wrong with me, in fact I was thriving. She told all of her friends and even went to support meetings. Everyone just believed her while I had to deal with the realization that my own mother didn't love me. It continued for another 10 years until she finally died. Then my brother continued her abuse, triangulating with my dead beat dad, which ended this year with a 12 year old post death letter blaming me for him not being a father to me. I'm 48 years old and reliving all of their narcissistic abuse right now, it's a nightmare. At least I finally know what to call it, thanks to videos like this.
Listening to what you’re saying I could swear you witnessed my life in person. I wish I could have been informed years ago. I put up with the abuse until they both passed (my parents). I was the scapegoat that always had hope that they would change. It didn’t in fact it only got worse way worse. If you’re still young and see this go no contact now. Live YOUR life.
The timing is impeccable,
I can’t thank you enough ! I’m a new subscriber
This is my mother. Decades of control and trying to squash my independence. She once tried to stop me getting a car by claiming she gave me the money I was going to use for it and trying to ask for it back.
My husband has started his healing work a year ago, when he realised what his life was really all about. To witness how much he struggles as he is discovering how much he was abused by the covert Narcissistic mother of his, it really is heartbreaking. He has an identity crisis amongst all his problems, all what I can see, makes me truly be convinced that covert Narcissists are cruel and conscious predictor monsters, they are really the worst.😢
I grew up with a narcissistic aunt, she'd humiliate me at a few family event, more so after my grandmother passed. I'm here today because after 16 years I'm just now starting to see signs of covert narcissist in my MIL. Until my husband and I had our baby almost 3 years ago I pretty much never saw her. Now that we have a toddler starting to gain her independence, my MIL is starting to force favoritism on my daughter through clothes that say Nana this, Papa that. And she is all about buying my daughter's love. I've also seen signs of previous abuse in my husband the whole time we've been together although he's never going to admit it, he just says all his depression and anxiety is from so much bullying from other kids. But now my eyes are wide open and I'm glad I only have to see her about once a month.
🤚Absolutely right.
This is a very dangerous and important issue. Thank you for exposing it 🙏
Scary.....
Yeah Scarey, The best one word description:(. ugh
@J YOU ARE A TROLL!
My mother humiliated me by convincing everyone that I was stupid and had dyslexia. I proved her wrong - as I now have a BA in English and a BSc in psychology. I’m also no contact - with a calm, happy, healthy family of my own.
This is so true.
My mother used therapists to try and control my brother and I when we were teenagers, even as adults. Everything you say is true; she doesn't want to lose control. She is a freak. I never realised how much of a monster she was until I started looking into this...
Therapy and the medical field are good inherently, but they are flawed. And unfortunately, a lot of well-meaning therapists believe these monsters in human skin, to the detriment of the child.
I avoided therapy for such a long time despite knowing I have so much trauma and so many problems because of how my mum used those systems to manipulate me. She has all but destroyed my life, and there is only one reason I haven't decided to simply stop living, that is my husband.
If it weren't for him, I don't know what I would do, I know I would not be, that much is certain.
My mom took me from therapist to therapist cause there was "something wrong with me" all the therapists told us she was the problem...she didn't accept this answer so it suited her well to tell everyone she has to keep taking me to therapy cause there is "something wrong with me"...yip...needed to hear this podcast for sure! Unfortunately damage is already done...a broken child is built on broken pieces...cannot redo it...hopefully just not pass dysfunction onto our own kids
I broke free from the diabolical monster for once and for all recently. Thank God
You should do a video about how narcissistic mothers turn their kids against their grandparents and why they do that.?
I'll tell you in short. They're isolating you from everyone (especially those who could potentially help you/ give you haeven). So I guess grandparents fit in the criteria.
This is also a good friend filter. If your narc parents get friendly with your friends, time to reevaluate, and reevaluate hard...
Now i understand why the pattern of covert narcissist relationships continued throughout my life, an absolute nightmare. 😑
It’s a dance you know.
Seeing is the first step.
Omg this video just shook me to my core. It just summed up my mom and my entire childhood. I always knew something was wrong but I never knew what. I cried and cried watching this
Very important message right here. Thank you, Kevin.
My mother called me in when the streetlights came on in the evening. I was 18. My First Date was a day date to a big amusement park. She told me I couldn’t go. I went anyway. I came home to the worst scolding of my life. She said I had scared her so bad. She had no idea where I was. She knew exactly where I was and who I was with. I was 19.
It took me so long, my whole life. To realize my mother is a narcissist. Even her own friends notice it , and tell me. She couldnt be more mean, hurtful , harmful and overall....had kids to benefit her. Not to raise them She's been in 4 marraiges. And I know why now. .
Many symptoms of ADHD mirror those of a child who has a narcissistic mother. Can’t focus, anxiety, difficulty making decisions, poor concentration, nervous fidgeting, emotional exhaustion, negative emotional reactions. My mom would offer to babysit my daughter & as a single mom I needed the help badly. I also was scared to use a sitter (horror stories) so I was grateful for my mom. Except she’d call me at work screaming criticisms that I wasn’t “home with my daughter who misses me” & accusing me of DUMPING my child on her. I grew up with her as my mom & to this day I can’t think straight. My daughter now believes I never wanted her because of what my mom told her. I tried moving but my mom told my child our house was haunted so my daughter would have freak outs not wanting to be at home and of course my mom would swoop in to let her stay with her … while complaining I’m a terrible, terrible mother. :(😢
I had no idea my mother was the problem until I started losing my hearing. 15 years into the hearing loss and living far away when I had to spend a few months with my family and my mother kept losing her temper with me Every time I would submissively touch my ear with my elbows tucked in to indicate I can not hear her. I can read lips and function with most people who face me and give me body language. She would just point her head down and mumble then snap as I can hear her. She would try to come up with ways to blame it on my behavior but by age 40 and living away from the toxic family for about 20 years my behavior was impeccable. I just wasn’t acting up like she needed me too in order to blame me. This agreed her more. After the rest of the family piled on as if I caused this problem I observed how my mother treated my siblings. She was facing them and speaking louder. Siblings would also get angry at me for not hearing them because I guess I was the scapegoat. About to turn 50 and all of them and everyone they know are out of my life. They have no idea where I live and I don’t care if they are dead or alive because o do not need them
she had dragged and influenced every relatives i know to join her army against me, unfortunately many of my relatives iQ isn't that high and had turned into her flying monkeys, spies and mouth. Bad mouthing me every way she could hoping i would come crawling back and beg for her mercy. I just keep quiet and watch her non-stop drama. i know she can't be changed, i tried. she doesn't want to listen at all what I have to say, let alone change.
Narcissistic covert father does the same thing. My child is autistic and he portrays himself as he’s so caring and loving the child but the reality is completely opposite.
My mom did the medical thing with my sister and myself. Lucky I got out later on but she got ahold of my sister and has a lot of control over her.
I was in a 14 year long relationship with a covert narcissist. My children's father. I am no contact with stay away orders. My heart breaks. I feel I am a covert narcissistic mother sometimes. My children are my trigger for my anger and rage. I do not want to ruin my children.....I have tried to control my temper and I go from 0 to 1000 to quick. Then the guilt afterwards., why can't I catch the anger before the rage.
whow Kevin , Thank You Brother 😊🤗❤
Thank you , you're so right about everything. Its so true. My mother is a Narcissist. I am the oldest out of five children she had and i am the only one who knew something was wrong the way i was raised growing. I knew i was set apart. I been the black sheep in my family. My mother always screams you gotta honor your parents. My mother was raised catholic growing up and she hates the truth. She saids there is something wrong with me when its her that has a mental illness. Narcissists are liars, Narcissists dont want to love you or know anything about at all. Naracists are pure evil souls from the Devil. Narcissists are like a child trapped inside a adults body and its all about there needs and wants. Narcissists are very lazy people.
I have a wonderful combo narc mom.. she started lying to me when I was 12.. she tried to get me beat up by my friends in high school.. she left me when I was going to the 12th grade.. reclaimed me.. then continuously yo yo me in and out of her life.. I’m a nervous anxious wreck.. I attract felons and I can’t trust my own thinking.. I definitely need a therapist and my box was called arrogant.. because of my arrogance I’m on punishment for years..
Luckily for my mom i was born wirh cystic fibrosis so she was automatically my "savior".
"Isn't your mom just the sweeeeeeeeeeetest person in the world?" (Covert)
Yep. To you.
I think it also gives the mother a reason and legitimacy to their hatred and feelings towards their child. All part of them getting their fill
It took me years to figure it all out and then I asked for a DNA TEST because I didn’t believe a real mother could be so evil!?
This is so real. You call it out per detail.
My mother died Seven years ago but this was what was happening... The first video I've come across with some valuable things to understand and heal from
Alcoholic step mom and BPD ex wife… crazy people…. Forgiving yourself for choosing a partner that is as unwell as my step mom
Oh yeah, my mother was a Covert Narc and all four sisters took after her. I have one sister who is better at it than my mother was. She is SOOO malignant of the toxic Narc...
OK I'm ready to hear about that narcissist mother because I had a mother who was a narcissist now my son who is 55 years old is the narcissist I'm lost
Wow. You nailed the “uses medical field” against you- making up weird stuff! Especially against the truth teller. The NPD mother care nothing for the damage she causes.
wow ! these last 2 videos are very powerful & insightful .
Thank you Kevin
I wanted to get away from my mother SO badly that I only applied to California colleges. (I'm from NYC - - Manhattan) She threatened to cut me off, so I attended college in Manhattan instead.
It's all about trying to justify their abuse. They know it's wrong. They just want to have a good enough reason so people don't see them as a bad person
Omg 😳 WHY are there so many “mothers” doing this on social media!? 🤢
This is WHY I don't like it when my kids are around my ex wife Narc. She's very quick to throw them into a therapist office the minute they have "a meltdown" (disagree or don't do what she says)... Yet, to the outside world she tries to portray herself as SuperMom... SMH... She pretends to be so altruistic around others when in reality she doesn't give a damn about ANYONE.
My mother loves using the medical field, making it worse.. she is an RN herself and super intelligent so, lots of jargon and medical terminology being used from as early as I can remember. Around 14-15 I was struggling at school, she decided it was "school phobia" had me seen by several medical professionals willing to corroborate her opinion and then she used it as an excuse to keep me home. It wasn't as obvious to me back then because she portrayed it as if she was being nurturing. I didn't understand the ramifications or her true motivation and basically dropped out at 14. Later in life managed to get GED and a college degree but I would have loved a more traditional education that allowed the full experience like friendships and school dances. I was a fat and depressed kid that spent nearly 100% of my time with her, by her design. Finally escaped when I latched onto an older man and moved to another state at 18.
They also love to complain about their kids like the baby kept me up all night.. no body helps me, wanting a baby sitter but then keep having more kids. Its all for attention. Complain, have more kids, attention attention
Great insights as always thank you!
A person with Munchausen syndrome by proxy often:
Has medical skills or experience.
Seems devoted to their child.
Looks for sympathy and attention.
Tries too hard to become close and friendly with medical staff.
Needs to feel powerful and in control.
Does not see their behaviour as harmful.
My mother used astrology and numerology (or any other "ology" she could find) to find any faults she could find about me to smack me with it on numerous occasions: in anger, for fun, of boredom. Funny thing is she used all descriptions that could be easily attributed to her own character. Now I'm laughing at this, but damage is done. Those types will use anything that will prove them right in their pathological thinking.
My own Jezebel mother almost killed me since the first second ! Keep disconnecting with her ! I am there almost there ! Fck why ! Why I grew up from those type of motherhood !
I live with my mother because she drugged me for years and any time I tell someone they all say I am crazy.... I hate living with my parents. I am 33 years old and I am not even allowed to keep my bedroom door closed.
My mother gets really jealous and hateful of me. Especially when I’m in a time of crises and not doing well. She will always do her best to make me feel worse. I don’t know why she does it. When I was a teenager she used to accuse me of a sexual relationship with my step father (who I have had as a father role for most my life and always seen him as a father). It screwed my mind up a lot. I remember her calling me names and constantly accusing me of things I haven’t done.
At 16 years old she found out about S.A that had happened to me by my youth worker. Instead of being supported at this time she was acting out like a child who was mad they didn’t get their favourite toy for Christmas. She made sure to do her best to stop me from getting any help. She even tried to make it worse by telling me even then that I was sleeping with my step dad.
I don’t know why but in times of mental health crises I end up trying to reach out to her cause I have no one.. I always come out of these phone calls either worse off or suicidal. I can’t understand why she’s so hateful towards me and I for the life of me can’t quite figure out why she gets jealous and displays jealous behaviors when she sees me suffering !! She’s even gone as far as getting my step father and half brother to block me when I’ve called for support. I’m not needy I’m not even contacting every single time I’m mentally unwell. It’s only the rare times I truly have no one else to turn to and she makes sure to even hang up on me some times while I’m in the middle of talking.
I’m 27 now and I see her becoming less and less interested in being in my life. Good riddens.
You are right on with your findings here!
I have a granddaughter that has this mother and I have tried to legally get her out of this situation for 15 years now.
I don’t know how to help her to get away from this. The mother has her so mentally weak and my granddaughter is so feared of her that she can’t help herself, help me get her out.
Seen her go downhill every year.
Is it too late? Will there ever be a day when I can help her help herself?
My MIL..... I have an autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis (it is a very painful disease).... I can't work because of it.... My MIL swoons on "My poor son has to take care of his wife. She should be helping and working too. It's not fair my son has to do everything. She should have dinner ready by 6 when he gets home. My son shouldn't have to do yard work, or cook if his wife is home all day"...... Then she tells me, "You can't have chronic pain..." 😑🙄
Married for 22+ years. I was properly diagnosed with AS at age 42, I experienced chronic pain for ten years before I was properly diagnosed by a rheumatologist (blood work, MRI of my SI joints showed proof of AS). My husband and I were married for 19 years by the time I got my correct diagnosis. What did she think her son would do, divorce me and move back in with mommy and take care of her? Ummm.... No.
I have known some of these kinds of people. It's horrible. I've seen some kids leave home and never go back. 1 I know went on Dr. Phil..he called her out.
My mother used to call on the phone her brother (my uncle) to complain about how difficult I was (starting at age 10-11 and the rest of my life) and to Praise my sister to him.
She also called her best female friend to complain about me. I was In the house when she made the phone calls. I listened at the door to her complaints about me.
Another time, when I closed my bedroom door, my mother Barged In and said How Dare you close the door against me? So and so used to do that and I won’t stand for it!!!!!
She used The Silent Treatment on me. She would go in her bedroom and not speak to me. I would go in there and stand next to where she was sitting. She didn’t say anything to me. She didn’t hug me. I stood there in this isolated state and had to leave the room and wait for many many more hours before she would speak to me again. When I was 10-11 especially, I couldn’t figure out what I did that was so bad that she did this to me.
From the other perspective: I’m sure I’m being accused to be a narcissistic mother. My daughter hasn’t spoken to me in 13 years. Yesterday I found out I had become a grandmother, my newborn grandchild without my reach. This is a lifetime grief that’s doesn’t ever fade.
My friend has all her four grown up children turned against her from an obviously narcissistic uncle. This has become usual but there’s little or no support for all grieving parents.
Could this be a topic here ?
My ex wife is covert.
She did it to me.
She does it to the kids.
She uses emotional covert manipulation.
My kids don't talk to me because of this.
God is good.
All things for his purpose.
Spot on!
07:05
Great moment! Excellent performance.
Parents like that .....uh!
This is apparently a multi-generational issue, I'm a narcissist, my mom is a narcissist, and her mom was a narcissist. I don't know how far back it goes. I rebelled heavily in my adolescence. I too was sent to the psych ward in an attempt to figure out what was wrong with me, nobody ever addressed what was happening at home or my sinister, uber-controlling mother. Instead, it was all on me. Test after test, the psych told my dad that there was nothing he could find; I was apparently just an asshole (his exact words). So I continued, drinking, drugs, high risk behavior, occasional violent episodes....it was just me, being an asshole.
I'm reminded of Billy Bibbet (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) after he got laid, his stutter was gone, smiling and relaxed, Nurse Ratched said she was going to tell his mother and the stutter returned, he then committed suicide.
It's all so tragic, a mother passes it to her children, who passes it on to her children, who pass it on to their children, etc. No wonder we have such a high rate of mental illness. We have all these narc mothers wreaking havoc and no one even LOOKS at them as the source of the problem.
I hope you cross the line and do a segment on covert fathers and molesting their daughters and how lack of accountability really sets us up for dissatisfaction in life and relationships.
Maybe it's time to break the power grid, no electricity no cameras
I have a disability and my mom do that she don't go on Facebook and stuff but behind close door she will mistreat me and treat her other kids better she would make everyone thinks I am does bad child
Watching your video, all teenagers should be misled to believe that their mothers are all narcissists who try to control them and they all must be rebellant to stay independent. It is dangerous. Parents are supposed to teach their children right from wrong. The different between a narcissist mother and a caring mother is that, the first mother leads her children following her way for her own gains while the second mother guides her children following the right paths for their better lives. Please look at both sides of one problem.
SACH MEIN ADHJAL ...😂😂😂😂
My adoptive mom is a covert. I won't tolerate the behavior, but it's so engrained in her, she won't do anything different, so i accept that and her for her, and I'll just fck off over here and smile. My sister i just figured out this is what she is as well. She's destroying her own children and didn't even know it. It's gross. I mean really gross. After my dad just died, she tried to pull out some fake heirarchy where she's at the top and most important and exploited his final hours to Garner sympathy. I had enough, she's stolen every idea I've ever told her about, claimed my information and understandings as her own to put on a show for other people. She forgets I'm the source of her information and tells me like a parrot. Well, i shattered her illusion and called her on it. She tried to apologize but she turned it on me and i called her on that too and did not accept the apology. Then she tried to give me the silent treatment and turned cold.
Idfc, i really don't care and i won't run, in going to call it out.
good primer on why all of a sudden so many mothers have a "trans child"
Spot on
I do not deal with any clowns and clowns family memberships ! I would be severally downgraded !
I have also witnessed a parent using an ADHD diagnosis to excuse their own failure to parent
God will expose everyone in the end times. What is written shall come to pass. May Gods will be done in Jesus Name.
Current forecast overt and covert condescending towering cloudy environment.
This is my mom to an exact T.
Yes this is disgusting. My narc mother did this with my son when he was younger. She wanted him sick or something wrong with him. She was constantly having me having him checked for something. Diabetes, needing glasses, reflux, etc. And she insisted on attending all of his doctor appointments & she would challenge his doctor. Even without a diagnosis & before an appointment, she’d get on the phone with her church ladies & get a “prayer chain” going. I was a new mom & didn’t know better so I went along with it. But then I started figuring her out & I put a stop to it. I’ve apologized to my son (he’s 22 now) so many times for putting him through all that unnecessary bs. She’s tried it with me as well…oh you’ve got this wrong with you…stfu. I’m not playing anymore ✌️
For sure the ouvert way better lesser of the 2 world's. My mother is a covert narcissistic mother and she has 2 psychology degrees and I happen to look like her first husband she hates . She's been married 3 times
my husband's sister did this to her daughter with fake cancer and tons of local fundraisers😢 going on for 25 yrs already....
My mother to a teeth.
I broke away from my entire family because of this. You forgot to mention covert emotional incest. Utilize the son as a husband.
I forgive her, this came from trauma, no healthy person acts like this. Still I am not sacrificing myself on the alter of her wounds.
Oh yes, emotional incest!!! It happened here. Husband put daughter up on this pedestal and shared his problems with her, effectively taking away her childhood. Child's shoulders were not made for carrying the adult load. Meanwhile, I was jockeying for position in my own house. I felt like the maid. It is creepy. Wife is queen of her house, daughter will be queen of her own one day.
@@deborahshankovich8442 yep! It’s Satan creeping in to destroy the natural order.
Be careful it can also be touchy feely. But that seems more common with women.
Same here with the emotional incest. My sister treated me like her spouse and her kid simultaneously. Also I was HER mother when she was sick or needed reassurance
I love what you said, "I will not sacrifice myself on the alter of her wounds."
💢And let's talk about triangulating the son-husband with the husband-son, causing confusion between the roles in the household. It's devastating to come to grips with the fact that the "father" role is actually competing with the "son" role, and the Narc is orchestrating it all!!!
It's depressing to know that the dysfunction won't cease, and the Narc will insist her target to be the confidant. 🤬It's like no matter how hard the target fights to stay out of the games, the target will always be labeled as the co-defendant, especially by the "father" role‼️ They are damned if they do damned if they don't. 😡🤬😤
Spot on!
Out of all the terrible things a narcissistic mother can do to you The worst by far is the gaslighting because they literally take control of your mind and hijack your perception of the world. I'm so thankful for the internet and for having this incredibly valuable information even if it's a bit late in life but it's better late than never, and knowledge is power
If you havnt had a demon covert mother narc,you'll never understand it and that makes me glad because it means you didnt experience it....Its incomprehensible to others that I went no contact 3 years ago with my Mum and 2 sisters and that's ok...im still walking the planet and my two spoilt dogs are living the life of royalty🥰🇦🇺
And believe it or not im childless..BIG SURPRISE
Covert narc mom too. And...I am childless. No thank you.
Amazing
Me too.
Demon is the word. These women are the definition of evil.
I left them alone 2 yrs ago it has been damaging to my heart when speaking of them the trauma and abused I endured