When the Narc was asked in court why he wanted to divorce me, his response was, “she’s sick (cancer), and is needy, and I did not sign up to take care of a dying wife. It’s my time to have fun.” Guess who died of cancer, and unloved, with no one to take care of him. One guess, it wasn’t me. 🙏🏻🤨
I have stage 4 cancer, in remission, and my husband initially took good care of me, with the help of others. Not long after I was released from the hospital and came home, everyday he would continue to go to the bar, as long as someone was with me! I took “in sickness and in health seriously” apparently he skipped that part. He was good to me right up until he found his new “supply” . That apparently gave him the green light to have an affair for almost two years. I kicked him out after physical abuse. What a sick bastard. He will die alone.
Don't forget ignoring. They ignore you when you are sick--walk past you when you are vomiting, leave you alone in your room without food for the whole day when you cannot make it down the stairs to the kitchen, rarely check on you when you have a stomach virus, etc. And then they gaslight you afterwards and tell you that they did.
@@living2day617 If you had a phone available to you, you could have called an ambulance to take you to the ER. I am surprised that you did not succumb to your illness and your own self-neglect. No matter how sick you are, help is just a phone call away.
After just vomiting and then coming out of the bathroom door to go back to bed feeling and looking dreadful I happened to look over to my narc to realise he was taking a photo of me …. Now that is really creepy …. I was too ill to complain … went back to my Covid bed. Thinking about that incident really creeps me out … Now that is sick!! A normal human being would not consider doing something like that to his wife 🥲
I can actually back this up. I was sick for the majority of the week 2 weeks ago and they did not tell me that they made food. They instead chose to only feed my mentally ill sister. When I walked out there at the end of the day starving, I saw dishes and became very livid. They could've at the very least told me even if it meant that I had to get it myself.
@@living2day617 I AM SO SORRY. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I AM RELATING TO THE NONCARING WAY YOU WERE TREATED. YOU DESERVE BETTER AND SO DO I. GOD BLESS.
@@jeans.5252 a lot of men are nurses/emts/paramedics, etc. My husband was a paramedic. Then his first wife got sick and had severe MS for 20 of their 23yr marriage. He took good care of her, but it was tragic. I plan to take care of him since he's older, but he's in great shape so far, better than me. 😅
I had major surgery. He didn’t even pick me up from the hospital. Our daughter came instead. Once our children got me to bed, he came in from work and laid across my legs. I couldn’t even scream! He asked why I wasn’t smiling. He couldnt understand why I was crying. Our children moved me into another bedroom to recover. The oldest two cared for me and helped me get on my feet. After I recovered, I began ignoring him and his needs. He moved out one year later. Good riddance. Our home is happy and peaceful now. No more mantrums, silent treatment, cold shoulders, belittling,………etc.
Our 12 year old had surgery to have a cancerous tumor removed, my ex-husband (we were still married at the time) who is a pediatrician got mad at him because he was crying. He has bad reactions to pain meds and to anesthesia. My husband said “we sat out here in the waiting room all day and your the one crying? You slept through the whole thing!! “ What an awful father. Thankfully my son doesn’t remember that day. Of course my mother-in-law got mad because the surgeon was taking too long and she was tired of waiting to see if her grandson was going to be ok, so she left about 3 hrs into the surgery. She actually did us all a favor. She was hoping for a poor out come. She wanted all that sympathy from her friends and family. My son is now 30 and perfectly healthy. Thank God!
When I was having trouble with low blood sugar & panic attacks, my husband told me it was all in my head. But after our divorce & he had a woman move in with him, he was very concerned about HER low blood sugar!!!! He never told her it was all in HER head!!!!
@judycrisenbery2982 He's probably doing the same to her, because a leopard cannot change it's spots. She is not going to confide in you tho because you're the ex, but I'm sure their honeymoon ended about a week after he married her.
The narc sister abandoned me after my release from the hospital. She told my dad, "she needs to get herself together". These people are selfish and evil.
My narc ex husband would see it as a competition whenever I got sick. He all of a sudden would have a health issue that was more important at the same moments I would be sick.
My current narc husband (for the time being) always has some "issue" that pops up when I am planning something. It's like clockwork. I have a bet with myself what it will be next.
When pregnant I needed back surgery but couldn’t get it since I was pregnant. His back suddenly went out, too. When I got home, he went to the hospital & got morphine (I couldn’t have any since I was pregnant which he rubbed in) & wouldn’t stop bragging about flirting with all the nurses. I needed back surgery, he didn’t. But he got all the attention; he made me go home & decorate his Christmas tree w/a walker. I had back surgery Dec. 23rd. He demanded it since he needed his slave back in full operation.
My husband left me when I became disabled. He said I was “defective and useless.” It’s taken me 3 years just to come to terms with all of this. The cruelty is unimaginable.
My husband uses those exact words all the time. I'm always defective & useless. Even when I'm on my period he calls me broken because I'm of no use to him. Then he gets mad when I say we're just bang buddies. But that's exactly how he treats me!
I was in my mid 30s and married to a horrific narcissist. I was planning to leave him and seek a divorce. There were a ton of reasons, but one thing that struck me that summer was I thought, “Do I really (still) want to be married to this awful man when I get older, and I’m sick or disabled?” I knew my life would be worse than the hell it was in my 30s…not to mention that I would be broken and only have bitter memories of my life in old age. I left at the end of that summer.
I'm sorry gf I ubered home after a cosmetic surgery he couldn't take off work I understood I arranged for a medical driver and then spent next few days recovering ALONE BF disapeared bc I told him to go home night before surgery bc he was acting rude towards me and I set a boundary. Think he didn't want me making myself look good and was Envious. He decided to Ice me After and I saw REAL HIM. and now I was FREE .🎉🎉🎉🎉😅 broke up w him and did not let him back in my life.💃
When I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease is when my husband became very abusive. Zero empathy, zero compassion. He started cursing and yelling at me on a daily basis. I saw behind the mask.. VERY SCARY! At one point I thought he could murder me. I have C-PTSD bc of his abuse, but I am healing. Happily divorced. 🙏🏼
I experienced same with my father, he was attacking me and as well I face PTSD. Those people abuse you if you are depending on them. Glad that you took way out of it. I wish you peace and healing from this! If I can give you tip...so take some animal easy for care or service dog. It helped me with PTSD ane some health issues. My dog remove clothes etc. It made me more secure and happy. Maybe it can help you too.
GLAD YOU GOT OUT OF THIS. GOD BLESS YOU. I AM RELATING WITH THE AUTOIMMUNE SITUATION DUE TO CROHN'S DISEASE. HE COULD CARE LESS. STARTED PURSUING NASTY THINGS IN THE STREET. WITH HIS NASTY MOTHER'S HELP. SHE IS IN THE NURSING HOME NOW. HE WILL HAVE NOTHING WHEN THE OLD MISSERABLE THING DIES. SORRY, I FEEL SO MAD AT HOW HE TREATS ME AND HOW FAKE HE IS TO THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW HIS SICKO WAYS! I AM TOO SICK TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE BUT HE KNOWS I KNOW ABOUT HIS WAYS. OF COURSE, HE LIES EVEN WHEN CAUGHT! HE GASLIGHTED THE HELL OUT OF HIS DEAD WIFE. GOT THE FAMILY HATING HER FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN HIS BULLCRAP LIES! I WILL NOT BEND DOWN TO HIS LEVEL! HE LOVES GETTING ME MAD-ESPECIALLY WHEN SICK!
When I told my mom that I had stage 4 lymphoma cancer. She got mad and actually blamed me for having cats and they probably gave me the cancer!?!?!?!?! These people are so sick and so twisted, its unbelievable.
I got comments like that from family when I had breast cancer I was expecting something like " don't worry. We'll pick up the kids from school" or "can I drive you to an appointment". My neighbors helped me instead.
This is my Mom and ex Husband!! I never understood the person who is always helping people how they could be a narcissist. Now I understand!!! It’s so Evil!!
I'm too Catholic to get a divorce. My Mom was too, and died of cancer at 78. My narcissist dad is 91 now, and has found another idiot to wipe his lazy a*s.
I had an operation for Endometriosis... and my Mum was bitching about me to my dad about how much of a hassle I was to look after when I asked for a glass of water..... She did it so that I could hear also... and then deny what she had said. I will never forget how shes treated me, neglected me and abused me... I am no contact for 6 years and I have so much peace. Very grateful for my strength in staying away.
My ex did nothing for me and our kids when we were sick with the flu but when he was sick he acted like a baby wanting all kinds of attention. Lol, another reason why he's my ex!
But he had Man Flu!! 😂🤣😂 Yeah, I need to choose a better man. My ex was b*tching about me not cooking, shopping etc, so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had pneumonia. So I was faking it? What a butthead!
I was conditioned from birth. My older sister and my mother were flaming narcissists and not being aware of it married one. I’m 65 and I just got free from it. Phew!
@@msem4228 Wow! I’m so sorry😳. I don’t know how to advise you because I still struggle even though he’s gone it’s not easy. It’s terrible because when I first left him I didn’t even know if I could go shopping and buy things even though I knew I had done that many times before him, there was something inside me that felt like I was not going to survive if I wasn’t with him. all I can say is just keep making him happy (because they can get dangerous) until you can get out. I’m going to pray for you that you have an exit somehow, take care love
I have the same problem. Got worse when I divorced my narc ex, then suddenly him and my sister became besties - the hell those 2 put me and my children through is absolute madness, inconceivable to those who have never experienced being the scapegoat of a narc family. But sadly there are MANY of us 😠😢
@@genenedormehl351 what’s funny is I had to kick my sister out of my life, I moved to the other side of the continent. My ex followed me over here (one state north of me) and I’m pretty sure him and my sister talk. Poor narcs, they’re seriously disturbed individuals. Good luck to you and congrats on your getting away. You might have to diss own your sister like I did.
Left when I was in the ICU diagnosed with Gastroparesis, after surviving cancer, later diagnosed with Lupus and he jokes about it all to our daughter. Laughs at my disabilities. Tells her I deserve it. It’s affecting her emotional well being. I have told her to cut him off but she finds it hard. Children of a Narcissist are the ones who suffer the most from the Narcissist. I’m an adult and chose this person. She did not. I feel guilty for choosing him resulting in her pain. I never thought of him again. I was too busy recovering. She’s the one who had to deal with him.😢
My husband literally kicked me out of bed because my coughing kept him awake. It turned out I had pneumonia when I called my mom in the morning and she took me to immediate care. That was the last straw.
Did he have to wake up for work? Ma’am, respectfully; coughing and snoring aren’t the easiest sounds to sleep with. Especially coughing; since it’s sudden, loud, forceful and there’s nothing rhythmic to the sound. Nobody is sleeping with coughing . It may have possibly been more polite for u to switch rooms , I dunno. 🤷♀️
@@libralillyknits or the husband could have switched rooms a let the sick wife stay in the bed most comforting. At least that is what I would want, my own bed.
This is my thoughts on this also ; I noticed my narcs family would always say he don’t deal with funerals well you know he’s gonna duck off bc he doesn’t like to deal with things like…….. well I don’t want to hurt nobody’s feelings but he is a grown ass man and if his children can go up to the coffin at the wake of his mother alone 13 and 15 yrs old he can also !! He would be strong and standing with his kids and family but instead he’s acting like he can’t go into the viewing and I had to say it’s not bc he can’t cope it’s bc he doesn’t have the normal reaction to death and loss and he knows people will be observing his behaviors !! Not saying he didn’t mourn the loss of his mother or wasn’t upset bc she had passed but it’s very short lived and not very much emotion expressed at any point ! They don’t have empathy and sympathy unless it’s someone doing something to them and it’s understood very well that it’s not acceptable to test them in that way
True Fact. If you did not want to see me when I was alive. You don't deserve to see me resting in peace. People come up with lame excuses for not visiting. Oh you know I don't have transportation. As though it's your fault. I had a sister tell me when my Mom was deathly ill, just let me know if she gets worse then I will try to come visit her. I'm like what kind of people don't even have empathy for their own Mom? Think before you bend over backwards to help people who never reciprocate or when they do you become a problem for them.😮
Awwww my heart goes out to you. Hope your doing ok.i had the same experience when my sister died of camcer then my father few years later. He never asked me once was i ok did i need to talk . He used to leave me with our baby while he partied .disappeared for days
I'm going to put my hand up. I'm the child of a narc parent. Had it drilled into me shows of emotion and grieving were pathetic and showing weakness. I can't break that programming, I've broken many others over time and there's a difference between being indifferent/cold and you just can't do the emotional thing. You still have the feelings, you can convey them verbally you just can't show them. I'm sorry for your losses but not everyone who doesn't show emotions are Narcissists, in fact many narcs are extremely good at showing fake emotions when it is to their advantage.
The day my mum got told she only had a few months to live with painful operations, chemo and radiotherapy to look forward to until the end, she was obviously an emotional wreck. The first thing my dad said to her was "How do you think I feel?"
During my fight with breast cancer, my ex husband went completely south on me. When I asked him about his lack of compassion he said, “I didn’t sign up for this.” When friends asked how they could help, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “she got what she deserves.” He was pure evil
This is *so* true. I pay close attention to how people treat anyone who's unwell. Even if someone says they're feeling unwell and it's treated as a fabrication or exaggeration (without good reason), I've immediately formed a low opinion of them. These are the worst sorts of people. No matter the environment. Frankly, they're an illness themselves and make people sick.
Lord have mercy. I was raised by narcissist an had relationships with narcissist I am realizing that I have been gaslit my entire youthful and adult life.😢 no wonder 💭 I made poor decisions and I was told to hide my illness Diagnosed with lupus back in 2005. No one even knew about it till about 2015. My friends They never knew. I just said I had arthritis problems. They were upset with me which I could understand, because I would drink, and hang with them like I was healthy enough to handle the things we were doing. Just trying to fit in, and not be a burden to anyone. I truly appreciate you coming out and explaining these things. This breaks my heart, because now I sit on a machine doing dialysis three times a week to stay alive. Lord have mercy on the souls that were victims of narcissistic life. Never heard of virtual signaling narcissistic. I am a victim of this. I moved back home to be there for my mom because I didn’t want her to feel alone. 😭😭plus she is the one to nurse back to health if I get a kidney 😢😢😭
I am now 72, and my marriage lasted only 14 years: when I was 7 months pregnant with my first child, I cane down with real influenza. My GP said go to bed, and only take paracetamol. So I did. During that time my wider family only made me one meal, a lunch. Then one evening my husband came into the bedroom, and said: "I've just had a lovely roast dinner at your sister's house." He gave me a peck on my cheek, then went into the livingroom to watch television. He didn't so much as offer me a glass of water, let alone a meal. Had I not been so ill, and so pregnant, I would have got into my car, driven away, and never returned.
When I was 8 months pregnant I had a very painfull episode of varicose veins. For 3 weeks I literally couldn't walk, nor even sit. Laying down was painfull. It was worse pain than childbirth itself. How did my loving and caring husband react? He beat me because I didn't clean the flat. Literally. He didn't care about me, he didn't even care about the baby. His baby. Now he can enjoy quality time in prison.
My ex spouse is a narcissist. I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and fibromyalgia 7 years into our marriage. I thought at😂first he cared but I finally figured out after a few years of being very sick . What you said about him being nice the first few years he was being all into my illness. As time went by I realized he was doing it to be the hero When he stopped getting attention from everyone and life became lackluster, he began mentally and emotionally abusive. At the end of our 31 year marriage about the last 10 years he started physically abusive. I am now on my own and doing so much better. I haven't been in the hospital for 3 years now. Before that since I was 30 years old until 55 years old I have been in the hospital 61 times. I am feeling much healthier and happy again. Thank you for your video. It confirmed everything I thought before but wasn't totally sure and actually began thinking I was going crazy
I was in the hospital for almost 3 months with covid. I was really sick. After I finally was released from the hospital my doctors told me I was actually dying due to covid. All he did the entire time was ask me when I was going to be released. Would get angry when I told him I didn’t know. Then 3 years later, I was diagnosed with cancer. At that point I was ghosted. Realized all he was interested in is when I was going to be able to have sex again. I finally realized I deserved better and what a narc he is.
I had this exact same problem. I got covid and I was so sick and all he did was bitch about me being sick and that I was going to get his mom sick!!! They both were the ones making me go to the store every damn day during quarantine to buy her snack cakes!!!
Thank you for this extremely important message Kevin. Narcisists are very dangerous individuals and they behave exactly the way you have described. It is no joke. Their lack of empathy, selfishness, laziness and deceitful manipulations can even cost you a life. They are deadly predators. We must have nothing to do with them.
Yes and Kevin behaves in exactly the same way. Seriously; how many 'how to recognize a Narcissist' videos do we need? You are needy, clearly, and Kevin knows that by telling you what you already know , you will give him your money. And tomorrow, he will tell you again. You're needy and as Kevin well knows, 'Narcissists' are not creating the problems you are experiencing in life.
What you are saying in this video is exactly what I went through with my narcissistic "friend" last month. I was home alone and I lost consciousness and hit the floor so hard my face swelled up so bad I called an ambulance. This has never happened to me before and I was in total shock. I called my friend, crying, before the ambulance got here, not for him to come but to let him know what happened and where I would be. After I got back home and talked to my friend again, he had no empathy whatsoever. He made light of it and told me it's happened to him and it was nothing. He told me I was exaggerating and making a mountain out of a mole hill. In the next week I needed help with errands and he gave me all kinds of excuses of why he couldn't come. He claims he cares for me but when I needed him most he wasn't there and he continued to demean me and tell me I was overreacting and even laughed! In the weeks following my fall, he never once came over to comfort me or to see the damage to my face. A friend that supposedly cares about you doesn't do that! The hospital told me I was in enaphalactic shock, possibly from a spider bite and it can be life threatening but I was ok. I was so angry at him for his lack of empathy that I have gone with the Silent Treatment. His lack of empathy tells me he DOESN'T care which was a hard pill to swallow. I haven't answered his phone calls or responded to his e-mails since. What a cold, heartless person he is. Now he is love bombing me and I'm ignoring him. I don't need him!
Oh thank goodness you are not involved w/ him. Find a nice girl to be ur friend..my friends of 40 yrs helped me thur stage 3 cancer..my ex husband of 18yrs..did everything he could to hurt me
Stay strong as he will get worse. The nasty starts after the love bombing doesn’t work. He will slander you to others to make your life as miserable as possible……why?…..because narcs can’t stand being rejected and you must be punished! Take care.
He will let you die if he gets the chance. Mine had left me to die 4 times now! Once I'm well enough, I'm leaving. Please be safe. Don't be like me, I should have left when I had the chance, but I fell for his love bombing. Now I'm stuck. Don't let this happen to you! I'm serious.
I had a narc Mom and Dad- I was always sick as a child with tonsillitis and other illnesses but was constantly ignored and made sure I knew I was a burden and “faking it”. It wasn’t till I was 15 that my Grandfather made my Dad get my tonsils removed finally. Living in a home where both parents smoked cigarettes heavily was probably the main cause. I also found out a few years ago I have a genetic disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, PoTS, MCAS and so on. I was never faking anything and was always ignored and gaslit by my parents. They are demons. One is dead finally and now just waiting for the other. Going no contact with my Dad at 18 and no contact with my mom finally at 30 (40 now) was the healthiest decision I ever made! I met my husband when I was 31 and he invested heavily into my health care and mental health. I’m very very grateful and blessed to have him. But I’m not gonna to lie, the damage my parents did to me caused permanent damage to my body.
Isn't it horrible to have an unknown chronic illness your entire life? Nobody believes different symptoms you explain over and over again to Doctors, parents, etc? Like you stated having 2 parents who are narcissists and you are "faking it." Then finally years later you get diagnosed with 1 or 2 painful, debilitating, serious illnesses. To top this off you find out down the road in a relationship or long-term marriage your spouse is a narcissist. You sound like a strong person who has been through much in your life. You don't ever give up and know you're not alone. My mother was a narcissist I figured out later in my life. Very often when we've had a parent or a close family member who has cared for us most of our lives and later find out they are narcissists very often we will end up marrying one or getting into a long-term relationship with another narcissist because that's the only behaviors we've seen so we think it's normal. When you finally find out what has happened to you by reading, seeing a psychiatrist or whatever you noticed that didn't seem right, it can be quite scary and unnerving. All the time you may have thought you were the crazy one. Then it's very important to get some kind of help overcoming narcisstic trauma abuse. It's not to be taken lightly. In fact I came across this article which said after living with this type of abuse for a long period of time you lose your vocabulary abilities and speech skills. Your thought process becomes muddled. You will need to begin healing yourself and educating yourself almost from the beginning. I hope your life gets a little easier and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I naturally turn into a dark empath when I encounter a narcissistic person, They stay clear away from me, I give them a dose of their own medicine and they can’t take it and I love it
This is so absolutely true, he knows what he's talking about. If you're early on in a "relationship" with no ties, then RUN! and never look back! If you're in an established "relationship" with kids, finances etc, then start preparing yourself so that once you've reached your breaking point, you can happily say sayonara and mean it with every ounce of your soul.
My narcissistic father dumped me in the street outside the hospital when one side of my body did not function. It looked like I had had a stroke. Roadwork made my father not want to run the car a few extra yards. I was dumped 500 meters from the ER. I did not get a single visit during my 14-day stay in intensive care at the hospital.
During the 2 years I stayed with mine after accidentally discovering he’d never been faithful to me, he admitted to me that he’d intentionally kept me sick the previous 12 years because he hoped that I would die. The reason he gave was because if I died then I’d never find out about the affairs. When they have a moment of honesty, it’s pretty scary and revealing stuff.
That's What I Said. Narcissist : Parent, Husband, Partner or Sibling Endanger Your Life, Risk Your Life. In your Case your Partner tried to Poison you for 12 Years, he Really 😢 Tried to kill you, but you discovered it. Efrat.
I went through this same thing with my ex with being over medicated....he knew the shape I was in and pushed me either further...I knew something was up but couldn't put my finger on it .I harped and harped until he finally said this isn't about other women it's about other men!! He didn't want to admit his life style and certainly didn't want anyone else to know including his kids!! He ended up literally walking off while I filed for divorce and he knew the shape I was in when he Left!! He ended up stalking me and paying other people to follow me rattle me until I hired a PI and the first thing he asked me was.. did he have a life insurance policy on me!! He never came to divorce court and from that day to this we of course have never spoken!! He had never spent one faithful day in that marriage... but thank God I got out in 5 years where his ex had spent 30 with him!!! It's been a tough road .. somethings I never recovered but I have myself!! I'm single retired live alone have never dated again but I'm well and I'm receptive to someone new in my life 😅 It's healing to share and by so doing I pray some one else along the lines are helped ❤
I use to have a lot of stomach trouble went on for several years. I was my Moms maid, driver etc. My dad didn't want to do any of it. They were both abusive in different ways. She did believe me when I told her I was sick but she never let me rest I still had to do for her. Dad said I was faking my stomach troubles to get out of doing anything. I was in my late 20s at this time. Totally controlled and used by them they had messed my head up so bad. I finally drove myself to the hospital one night i truthfully felt like I was dying...and I was. My gall bladder was infected to the point it was about to burst. I almost died on the operation table. The doctor told my parents that he brought me back. 1 week out of the hospital with drains still in my stomach and a 11 inch long cut on my stomach i was back to being mom's driver. I hate both of them and they are dead now and out of my life. Guess who took care of thier sorry asses until they passed. Yep me. Wish I'd walked away when I was 18. Dont waste your life on emotional black holes. Never again will I.
A few years ago my boyfriend got really sick.. I took care of him and did everything I could to make him comfortable and get better.. well since I was taking care of him I caught it just when he was pretty much better.. he wouldn’t do anything to help me and after asking over and over to bring me Tylenol, I ended up begging him to bring it, I couldn’t find it when I did get up, now I’m thinking he had it hidden.. but anyway after I begged and he finally came with it, he threw it at me as I was laying in the bed.. that really hurt my feelings, but I’m so glad I finally left him 😊
Dear Kevin, I really love and respect your channel and you as a person as you are really helping many people who need help. God bless you and your channel ❤❤❤
1) They think its a weakness 2) Its scares them 3) Its inconvenient for their plans. 4) They tell everyone how dreadfully you have aged... Thank you for this, its difficult to understand.
I have so many memories of this. It started very early into the 'situationship'. I had no clue what kind of energy I was dealing and coping with at that time... frankly for year's. Truly destructive, traumatizing memories. My children don't understand it. I've given up after 31 year's 'explaining' myself. He's got them completely derailed. Hook, line and sinker. Just have to let go and let God 💜💌 I pray for my children every single day 💔
The sadistic side of a narcissist is appalling. They derive pleasure when they can torture you, make you feel pain, cause you mental or emotional distress or inconvenience. Punishing those around them for their own sick pleasures is a sociopathic and depraved quality that is actually very scary. Because it's like they want to kill you, but don't have the guts to do it outright. So depriving you of the doctor visit, causing you to overexert yourself when you are sick or injured, verbally taunting you constantly and ridiculing you without end cause depression and deterioration. Many people HAVE died from this abuse. And after the death, they cry crocodile tears, telling everyone how much they took care of them, how much they feel like a failure (for victimhood), how they don't know how they will manage without them, and the drama is extreme. For about a week. Then it's on to find more victims, baiting their hooks with a sad story of loss, to reel in some other caring, sympathetic person who will go through the same thing. They are soul suckers. They are some of the blackest spirits I have known.
A black spirit is a very correct way of describing this type of person..they are the anti Christ in your life and they are numerous!! This overcoming takes a whole lot but it can be done.....and once you see .. you see ❤
Very well put. You are the first commentator who explains it so clearly ... They are not human, they are actually possessed by a demon. They are not soul suckers they suck our life's energy ... we humans have a neverending energy from God and black entities require that.
@@Handlethisssno, they are demons, it's a spiritual warfare here on Earth, they are Satans little helpers hellbent on destroying you. That's what they are, do stop this nonsense with the Zodiak signs.
You explained my vile father exactly and when Mum was dying from pancreatic cancer he was frequently abusive to her. Us kids took turns staying there helping care for her 2 at a time coz dad is such an abusive psycho except to the golden child or when people were visiting. He refused to let her rest during the day yelling out as soon as I put her to bed to sleep. He’d yell out for her to hold the hose to the septic tank- meanwhile there were 3 adult kids 2 standing 5metres from him to do this. He’d go in 5 mins after I walked out asking Mum demanding she get up and tell him where his underwear was - at 1pm, what’s for dinner, just finishing lunch 30 minutes prior. On the 3rd time of requesting politely to let her rest he became aggressive towards me and remained aggressive, misogynistic and belittling always when he spoke to me. Just like the first 21 years of my life until I moved very far away. I stood up to him then simply asked at 11pm at night when he wanted to start another fight with me - for taking mum to the doctor the next morning. The way he spoke was like I’d never driven a car before and never been into town before. I’d been visiting that place occasionally for 12 years. I had a career in emergency services driving emergency services vehicles- to emergencies at times dealing with violent psychopaths domestic violence abusers. - for 17 years. I said calmly “do you take me for a fool?” He went off yelling then threatened me I could not see my dying mother if I kept with my ‘bad attitude’. I didn’t say anything but got up and walked away and went to my bedroom which was next to theirs and put the chair hard against the door handle. He woke up my dying Mother and complained relentlessly to her until 4am, I know I was awake hearing this psycho wondering if I should call police. I messaged my sister(another psycho abuser that still had her mask on during this ‘playing nice’). She just said to leave. My home was 3hrs drive away. I realize she had no empathy whatsoever. I didn’t call police coz my father had a gun locked away only he could access. I call police they won’t see violence (this time), my father will pretend I made it all up and after they go probably shoot me if not forcing me out if the house away from Mum. He would care if my 4 kids didn’t have a mother. As it was I left the next morning. He woke up at 7am and acted like nothing had happened- and expected Mum to get up and make him breakfast. She went to hospital 4 days later and was gone 2 weeks after that (10 weeks after diagnosis). He couldn’t wait until she was dead. He was doing everything possible to hasten her death. Her pain meds never truly worked, I told my sister this a registered nurse and found out she did nothing to help Mum except give her more medicine 😵 and get her cream for the allergy rashes but never organized a 24/7 palliative care doctor like she she would help me do. Dad wouldn’t allow Mum 24/7 palliative care doctor that was free but instead rely on their doctor who had no experience and was only available 3 days a week. She had to wait 4hrs in emergency if she wanted after hours care. 💀. The perverse psycho cruelty of this wife abuser has become far worse since he aged. As soon as mum died my sister went back to the psycho abuser that she was the first 22yrs of her life. At 55yrs old she started spitting venom About my sick (adult) child with a life threatening medical condition- totally dismissive of his illness, angrily yelling at me denigrating him. Next phone call denigrated my husband. Next phone call lieI asked for help and she gave it only to lie to our younger abusive brother saying I owed her thousands of dollars. 💀. I called her out on her lying and she said nothing but then yelled at me and denigrated me telling me to fxck off and grow up and get over it- the terribly cruelty I witnessed my dying mother go through and the abuse I was subjected to by our younger brother - that she instigated. I then told a cousin of the dysfunction and abuse and it got back to her. She prevented me attended the spreading of my dead mothers ashes knowing I couldn’t get a flight in time due to the pandemic and then saying I was not welcome as part of the family to attend and made sure I didn’t get any ashes either. And she knew Mum was the only good parent to me and that we had a special bond that psycho was jealous of I now realize. My husband heard the whole conversation including when she yelled at me (over the other phone “You’ve made everyone’s life a misery”, then “It’s your fault mum suffered as she was dying and it’s your fault Dad treats you the way he does”. That B.C is dead to me. She has destroyed any possibility of us siblings getting together again - until after she is dead. She was never a sister to me growing up, lied pretending to be one for over 30years and as soon as mum was out of the house she started her narcissistic psycho rampage. Including crying to an in law that I said horrible things to her and that she is the one hurting since I cut contact. She’s hurting not being able to easily access me and my family to start a fresh new round of hell abuse. She certainly has succeed in tearing the family apart as soon as mum died, and where my abusive father failed as mum was the glue. A family childhood friend that I came across made mention of this and knew, like my bff, my father was a violent abuser back then.
In our 22 yr marriage there were 3 times that I really needed him due to an illness, injury, or recovery. All were very short term, but I did need help. He failed every every single time. Looking back I can remember how my gut was SCREAMING at me, “this is wrong & something is not right with him.” Lesson learned.
Lived it... experienced it too. You're not crazy. Your intuition is on point. Trust it always. In the late 80's early 90's I had zero understanding of what narc's are about. One of their first priorities is to undermine the loving bond you have with your children. 'One day - one drama - one set up' at a time. They are destructive , dark souls. Sly. They are thieves on every level. They use you because they absolutely 'know' that you are a sincere person. They manipulate you and use you for everything you have to give. You... make them look good. Never forget that 💚💌
It is wrong if someone doesn´t help you when you are ill. It is very wrong behaviour. If you love someone you will never let him/her alone even maybe you are not in good terms. (A husband should never leave you alone when you are ill). If he/she does he/she is never the right one for you (because he just doesn´t care a bit about you). That is just disgusting behaviour.
Don't expect much because they can not handle anybody being sick, and will keep their distance; treat you like you're an inconvenience, will say they will be there, but can't be found, will down play it like it's not that bad or somehow turn the attention back on them...but when they are sick, they expect everyone to bend over backwards for them
If you are a pain patient with a narcassist, you don't have a chance. Narcassists also have the same characteristics as demons do. When I left, i told him I was done & left. I didn't even go to my divorce hearing. Lost a lot of material things that mattered to me but at least i have my life & more saniyty & self than if I'd stayed.
You are spot on! I broke it down to the fact that when I was sick, I quit serving his purpose for me, ie. I wasn't earning $$, cleaning, cooking, whatever. I was nothing more than a utility item.
I married a textbook on narcissistic abuse. I was suicidal when I finally broke free. It is both liberating and heartbreaking that he is now someone else's problem. God help her, whoever she is.
Thank you for this video. Was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer December 2020. As soon as we stepped into the house after my second chemo treatment he turned on me and with his hands curled into fist screamed, “why don’t you just f*cking die?” Into my face. I was so shocked and chalked it up to him not knowing how to deal with the reality of my cancer. He then made a big deal of shaving his head when all my hair fell out. Everyone gushed about his caring and loving he was. Behind the scenes he never made one meal, cleaned the bathroom, washed and cleaned the sheets, etc. I was still the one doing all the house chores while also still working full time, while undergoing chemo, surgeries, and radiation. When I was declared stable, he freaked. His goal of being able to play the living and dedicated cancer widow was being taken from him. He assaulted me Christmas Day, 2022. Has been an interesting journey navigating rebuilding my life while also being attentive to my mental and physical health.
Broken ankle with crutches and no weight bearing instructions. H laughed at my struggles to put the seat back down as doing it himself “was beneath him”. A cancer scare elicited “I took one wife through this. I didn’t sign up for another”. His first wife passed from cancer. Just two of many. Do not expect care either physically or emotionally from these folks.
Holy shit! This is very eye opening. I once was dying, and my then spouse did all of these things. They didn't want me to go to the hospital due to financial concerns on their part. When I wound up choking on my own blood from my failing heart and lungs, I had to threaten to call 911 if they didn't get me to a hospital ASAP. Then when I was on life support, they took on the hero nurse role. Less than a year later, they were tired of "taking care of me". "Tired of being my nurse". I know this is an extreme example. While I was sick beyond my own comprehension for a few days, they were going out to dinner with common friends. Nobody in my life knew how sick I was. I was lucky enough to have been life-flighted from one hospital to another in the nick of time. I should have died, but I was lucky. Now living with CPTSD, I understand the relationship was not worth going into a coma over. A normal person would have helped me out long before things got that far. I still can't believe I was almost a dead person because I clung to narcissistic abuse.
My narcissistic husband usually ignores me (closes my room’s door). When I was pregnant & felt sick I apologized for not cleaning up the kitchen (my duty). He looked at me smiling knowingly:”No worries! Go to bed. The mess can wait until you feel better whenever that may be.” Now, 10 years later I cleaned the kitty litter pan while I had 101F because he would ignore the basic sanitation. Yes, “You always sick!” the phrase I hear. I shopped for groceries all 2020/21 Covid crisis. His needs come first before my health.
my father was so abusive that when he got old and got cancer and my mom had the beginning of alzhymers; he would ask my mom to put his socks on and after 5 minutes remove them and then again put them on, remove them, feed me. He would call my mother a liar because she was forgetting certain things because of her illness. My father was a narcissist but he was a smart man and he knew very well that my mom was losing her memory, but he was enjoying the reactions of my mother, seeing her vulnarable, crying, swearing that she did do it on purpose. This was the end of a man who had terrorised an entire family and was doing his last evil actions. The strange part is that when he died, there were over 100 people who showed up to his funeral and the flowers that filled the funeral home reminded me a king's funeral. Then my mom dies after one year and she had 5 people burrying her with no flowers.
Your father told his friends, family & workmates nothing but complaints about your mother!! My narc. father told hid family & otyer how low-down his wife & kids were!! They lie & lie & then lie some more!!
I bet she had a huge welcoming at heavens gate. Things are sometimes so unfair here. I used to think if I'm not here for him, my ex, who will love him? Also he would threaten suicide or murder if I left. Eventually I left, and he's remarried. They've been together at least 8 years. I'm certain he'll have full attendance of people who never really knew him. I expect a handful, but they will be people who knew me with my faults and all and still supported me. I'll take quality over quantity. Some are stunned at how selfish I could actually be to leave such a perfect, caring, loving man which they knew he was by his own touting. I had Christian groups praying for my mind and soul when I left him. I've probably never gotten as much prayer for anything as I got during those days. They weren't praying for my protection when I was there, but they turned up the prayers for the confused, lost sheep. I don't care what they think of me. I'm free. I did get a good laugh when I knee they were finally praying for me, and I suddenly felt invincible that he couldn't kill me because of their extra prayers.
I had brain cancer when I was 11- took a little over a year to get better. I don’t remember a ton- just a lot of not feeling well. But AFTER, I found in the trash my father would throw away cancer survivor stuff like dinners and parties they would throw for sick kids- who knows what I missed while I was sick. He would say when I found the letters “you don’t want to hang with those sick kids” and “you’re better now and that happened a long time ago”. I never understood what it takes to start processing that stuff til a few years ago and I’m 30 now….
I have the ultimate example of how a narc will treat you when you're (mentally) ill. When I was 13 I tried to kms by swallowing an entire bottle of tylenol. About 20 mins after I had second thoughts so I went in the kitchen to tell my mom. She immediately goes "UGH, I don't believe this, so now I need to drop everything and go take you to the emergency in the middle of getting dinner ready because you decided you need some attention."
@deewillis2409 So sorry you went through that! It's hard to understand people with not even the tiniest but of empathy. I hope you have some people in your life that you CAN count on now.
My mom would say when I got sick, "How could this happen?" I was her maid, baby sitter, etc. and she wanted me always to cater to her. I ended up not telling her I was sick and worked through my illnesses.
Treated dreadfully. Completely ignored me not even a drink of water. Had to ring friends to come and help and feed me. Horrible vile man. Now I'm disabled I'm sure it's because of abuse over many many years I now believe it's because of excessive cortisol. Not in my life now I left before he killed me which he tried to do several times. Enough was enough then I learned about narcissism and oh boy down to the last detail he totally qualified ruined my life.
I survived a near decade of Munchhausen’s by Proxy, while bedridden/housebound, at the hands of my “caretaker” mother. It was due to a second bariatric surgery, meant to be a simple corrective surgery - which, my body wouldn’t heal from; hence, how she became my “caretaker” (I was so sick, I didn’t even know how sick I was, because I was so out of it. I heard her say the hospital wouldn’t release me, unless I had a caretaker - that’s how I learned it the word, in relation to my situation. Anytime she threatened anything, especially, when I tried to stand up for myself and she would say I could leave anytime I wanted to.. I said she is the one who took on the “caretaker” responsibilities, knowing full well what was going on.. She would always say she never, ever said that, even though, it was the truth). Come to find out, during my tenure of illness.. All of my health issues - especially, the knee/ankle pain and hormonal belly/being overweight, at age 6 - we’re all due to incredibly dysfunctional adrenals. I was diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome; long-term exposure to excess cortisol, due to external stressors/environment. My mother discovered my health issues were stress-related - and absolutely ramped up her awful behaviors. She would scream and yell at me, all the time. I still have auditory hallucinations of her yelling my name - as well as in my dreams. Also, I am autistic/ADHD. As well as borderline, with DID, bi-polar, CPTSD, and OCD. Now, my adrenals are so shot - I started perimenopause early, at the age of 34, and am permanently disabled. And I am so sensitive to estrogen, there is no way I could bear children, now. I don’t think I would have had the extent of the health issues I ended up with, due to the medical intervention from the time I was sick (I would take way more pain pills than even a recreational drug user - because of how tense I always was, especially, when she would get mad and yell; which, because I had a fistula connected to my digestive system - it stopped my digestive system, and everything would come out a hole, underneath my left arm. Absolutely excruciating).. I use to be able to tell people “Don’t fuck with me - I’m twice the asshole you’ll ever be.” However, now, since they removed part of my colon, I can say “I’m less of an asshole, than most.” She would give me her Xanax, to help me “relax,” even though I was on oxycodone. She would wait until right before I served dinner - where I would end up falling asleep, with my face in my food.. And she would leave me there. And this was at a time I had a great amount of difficulty even getting in the shower - as well as I was always so cold, the water heater wasn’t turned up very high, and she wouldn’t do anything about it.. So, the water would turn cold before I could even get out - which, also, was quite painful. So, point being.. I can REALLY relate to your disability, due to excess, long-term exposure to cortisol. I will never not believe my mother didn’t do everything she could think of, to use my health issues against me, to make me more sick and induce my death. (In my opinion, of course. I don’t need to get sued or whatever). And I found out, last year, there is diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder in my immediate family, by someone I spent majority of my childhood with. Ironically, she always did her best to help me gain self-esteem, supported my love for music and live shows, as well as always told me how “artistic” I am - which, I had no idea I was good at anything, whatsoever. That was the first time anyone ever said I had a trait, like that. Though, it’s undeniable they had NPD, also, with their behaviors throughout my life - though, I was warned when I was much younger there were court documents stating she wasn’t right.. So, I always knew when she acted strangely, it was because she was sick. It was much easier to deal with those behaviors, as a kid, knowing that (though, I didn’t know I t was NPD, at the time). Anyways, I pray you are doing better; and have been able to recover, as much as possible. Warmest regards and all the best.
&My narcissistic father had a stroke at 60 years of age & it was because after 10 years of quitting smoking & drinking, he went back smoking3-4 packs a day & drinking beer & whiskey & was also obese!! He in his condition was still complaining, argueing, ect. He was a miserable man for the next 24 years & I had to put up with it!!
I love (sarcasm alert ⚠️) when you are really sick and they stop and look at you with that condescending smirk and say "you look like hell". Gee thanks, that really helps make me feel better. 😒
Due to the years of abuse my health has deteriated to such a low point that without God help I would even be worse. At this point my narcissistic husband couldn't possibly care less if I live or die. I could leave him and become homeless and he wouldn't give me a second thought. He has extracted everything possible from me and now just wants me gone by whatever means necessary. But at my age, 82, and poor health moving on is an extremely difficult road to head down. He would take all or most of the money and leave me destitute being glad for the additional chance to hurt me. That is he singular goal in life.
My ex did all these things. He told everyone that would listen that I was just lazy and refused to clean the house. I was literally laying in bed dying everyday. I could hardly get out of bed. But I was just lazy.
My mom used to do that...and with the years I internalized this voice calling me lazy...it has taken me a lot of work to contrdict these voices...specially because the narc was the one who made you sick on the first place
Yes, virtue signalling is real. I had triple spinal fractures and the narc family member used the term lazy, when all we could do at the time was nourish ourselves & rest. Their cruelty knows no bounds. And they do make us sick + inflict injury on top of that. It’s a positive we now know better and have taken steps to detach from them. Sending love and light to you all too.🩷💜🩵
Here’s one thing my narc ex-bf did: We were supposed to go to a party on a Friday night after work. I had actually left work at lunch and had a minor medical procedure done in the afternoon. I was in more pain than I had anticipated, plus I got my period that day so I had cramps and a headache. I was not in a party mood at all. When he arrived at my apartment, I told him I was not feeling up to going to the party. First he said “It’s okay, we can stay here.” I thanked him and we began picking out a movie to watch. But over the course of about ten minutes he got quieter and quieter, then finally he turned to me and said “Can we just go for a little while?” “Go where?” I asked. “To the party,” he said, irritated. This was the start of a fight that devolved into the full spectrum of narcissistic devaluations and manipulations (short of physical violence- he never hit me). He spent a couple of hours getting angrier and angrier that I was not well enough to go to the party. He claimed that he didn’t expect me to actually NOT go to the party, that I “should have known” that he was “just being polite” and that we really HAD to go to the party anyway. He unloaded accusations that I was being selfish and unsupportive of him. He displayed profound selfishness, entitlement, a total lack of concern for my well-being, prioritizing his facade over my well-being (the party was being thrown by his boss so he wanted to go and schmooze), lack of integrity (he said things he didn’t mean) and unwillingness to take responsibility for his own words. After seeing this huge red flag, I should have dumped him right away. Sadly I did not, and I only had more of this same type of behavior in store for me. If someone you know is treating you like this, do yourself a favor: get out of the relationship and stay out.
Just one question: Was there any reason why your ex--boyfriend couldn't have gone to the party alone? Since this was an OFFICE PARTY, that was being thrown by the boyfriend's BOSS, and not just some RANDOM party.... I'm having trouble understanding, under these circumstances, why it wouldn't have been okay for him to go to the party by himself......???
@@protosphaI'm certain it was because guilt-tripping her about not going was way more enjoyable for him. He probably didn't particularly want to go anyway, but making her feel awful about "letting him down" was more important. 😢
@@protosphaI'm certain it was because guilt-tripping her about not going was way more enjoyable for him. He probably didn't particularly want to go anyway, but making her feel awful about "letting him down" was more important. 😢
Oh my goodness...I can completely relate to what you just shared. While I was with the narc he literally would never invite me to his staff parties. I remember him being so concerned that he didn't have the right outfit for that occasion. So while I was out with our children and my stepson one afternoon I bought him an outfit at a second hand shop. I previously worked in men's retail before meeting him so I knew how to pick out quality clothing. I discovered some time after his staff party that the reason he never invited me was because he was having an affair with one of his co-workers. When he left that night to go to the party he looked absolutely amazing. None times out of 10. I was left alone with our children while he went out 'shmoozing'. If I actually did go to an event with him he would walk in and literally leave me behind in a room of mostly strangers like I didn't exist. He was always playing it like he wasn't really in a sincere relationship with me...for his 'audience'. A total disrespectful, ungrateful piece of 'garbage'. I was a mere employee to him and nothing else. He can pound sand.
@@protospha I still have that same question as well. I offered that option to him many times and he refused to take it. He overtly said that going alone was not acceptable to him- I HAD to go with him. My best guess is this: showing up to the party with his girlfriend was an important part of maintaining the Narcissistic facade, and if he showed up alone then he would not get the facade boost and the narcissistic supply that he was seeking. So going alone was unacceptable to him. The main takeaway is that to a narcissist, getting their narcissistic supply, controlling others, looking like they have it all and showing it off to everyone they know is more important than their partner’s physical health, mental and emotional health, the health of a relationship, etc….
I fell down an entire flight of steps as a kid while carrying a television down the stairs. I think that the cat was laying on the steps, and I stepped on the cat. My dad came running to see what happened. He stood at the top of the stairs and asked me, "What did you do to my TV?" There was never any concern regarding my well being, or the cat's welfare. I have had a neck problem for years as a senior. And yes, absolutely, my parents have made me sick, and they've made my entire family believe that I'm mentally ill. They've sabatoged my well-being, my life, my future. I didn't understand what was going on until tragic things woke me up, and I was in my late 40s when I recognized that my parents weren't nice people.
I was coming out of the second bout of Covid and was constantly coughing. My ex asked me not to cough because it's making too much noise and will upset the neighbors. I was facing surgery for an uterine tumor that made me very weak and unwell, and he asked me why I looked so unwell and how I let myself go so badly. Yes, and he constantly needed support regarding his health issues. Nowhere to be seen, just saying over the messages how much he cared. It was hell. I am out. Thank you for your video.
I don't share much of anything with narcissists because of this very reason. You're spot on. When you're sick it's inconvenient to them and an opportunity to make things worse. Things that they can't get away with when you're well they try to put stress on you at your weakest moments. You have a headache and all of a sudden they're yelling around you and making excessive noise. It doesn't even matter how critical the situation is. You fall on the ice and have a bruised rib and all of a sudden they argue with you to shovel snow and break ice on the driveway knowing that you're in pain and prescribed pain meds. They will do whatever they have to do to exacerbate any illness, cold or injury you may have because they get a sick satisfaction seeing you hurt or not well. They have no heart and that's why I don't waste my time with those individuals anymore. Thanks for this great video. ❤
....imo, also because they ARE100% Weak Cowards. Anyone can kick someone when that person is down - EZ. Yet, This person has learned to let the Narcs clearly know that, (By The Grace Of GOD) when I get back up off the ground, dust self off, - then they can Rest Assured that I will retailate by 150% with zero mercy. Amazing how Effective This new skill works for me, now at 60. Thankfully. Wish had known this 45 years ago. Well, live and learn and all thanks and praise to God.
🩵🩵🩵 I’m so sorry Rena, I’ve experienced narcissistic abuse too in the last 13 years & it was horrible. You’ve written it so well: every illness or injury we’ve had they’ve exacerbated. I’m sending love, light and peace your way. Having gotten out of the fog, I still feel sick to my core thinking about the pain they caused. I hope you too are safe & well this holiday season, wishing you the brightest, loveliest Christmas.🎄😌🐕🩵🩵🩵
My x shouted and threatened me when I had contractions to give birth. I was laying on the floor unable to stand up and he raged and spit on me and yelled: you always want it YOUR WAY. I was unable to react. When we arrived to the hospital he was smiling and acted Mr loving husband. I was in shock. I'm sorry I went home with him. It took me nine years to be free. No I'm happy without him.
I'm sorry that you went through so much unwarranted hatred. They don't know how to love. The best thing I'd say is to learn about these sick individuals and identify them before you form any relationship with them. If you're of light they will try to replace it with their darkness. During pregnancy in the animal kingdom the male protects the female. If animals have that instinct and a human doesn't it's a red flag something is off. The covert narcs always pretend when someone is watching because they know what they are. You went through but you're not still there so I'm happy that you got to the other side. Now you're wiser. Stay strong. @@meretebogen8778
I'm going through this, I swear, word by word right now. The sad unfortunate thing about my horrible situation is, it took 25 years and me dying, coming out of it with a brain injury, for me to see exactly what I had been dealing with all these years. I was his parent, never an equal. I wasted my whole life with this disrespectful asshole. And I absolutely despise him for it! I'm mostly angry at myself for not seeing it. After my brain injury, it has been like a part of my brain I never used before suddenly got turned on! I need to divorce him. That I know. It's tough now that I'm disabled. But I'm working on a plan.
Keep strong and have faith,belief that this will happen.There are many of us behind you ,wishing you well and sending Love and Strength.🤗🤗💕💕💕🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. Praying that you find the strength, resources & courage to accomplish all you need & find freedom from this oppression.❤
I have been dealing with narcissistic people my entire life. I am an RN, BSN who is now disabled. I have gone basically my entire life without being sick, but the MINUTE I do get sick, all I see is eyes rolling, no sympathy unless I am looking in the dictionary between sh** and syphilis (as my mother used to say)! You are so so right about how they try to tell you (what) to do to make it all better. These insights are so clear, and I really appreciate seeing you on here teaching people, it really is wonderful to know that SOMEONE out here does CARE.
My mother told me on Christmas Day through FB when I had the flu, "can't you just get up and do something?"I finally just said, I'd rather lay here and rest. (That was the first Christmas I stayed home and away from her). To that she said, it would probably be nice to do something with family on such a special day (jabbing at the fact that I didn't come visit for the holidays). To that I said, I am with my family and I am having a good time.
Oh yes, as a young girl I had bouts of pain monthly that were almost unbearable. As I sat in the recliner with a heating pad to my lower stomach, my mom said, “Can’t you do something while you’re sitting there?” I was supposed to be productive constantly.
When my kids are sick, I take care of them. I let them take it easy and I make them green smoothies and rub their back. I was taught all what not to do by my selfish mom and am a better mother myself ❤
This is absolutely true. Please watch this video until you completely absorb the information. I am in this situation again going on 14 years. Narcissist won’t leave voluntarily unless it serves them. This is my home so I’m not leaving however I’m working on steps on how to thrive during this situation and build my life around the trauma/drama. If you can prevent being in a relationship with one of these troubled people Please Do- run fast, block them immediately and don’t make eye contact and don’t tell them anything intimidate or personal about yourself-- they will use it against you
Years ago, I didn't know what narcissism was, or what I was in for. It's frightening to think of being very ill and having no one, although we live in the same house.
Thank you for addressing this. I could never understand what was wrong with a person who literally ignored me and even got angry when I was suffering. Sick.
My (ex) narcissist dumped me after 3 years together when I had the flu and said no to driving his drunk ass home late at night. Best thing that ever happened to me 😊 Secondly its true about the sex thing. The worse i felt the more he wanted to have sex. Thirdly I got sick so much after I started being in a relationship with a narcissist. I aged at least 10 years in 3 years and when I wasn't actually ill I was drained and worn out by his theatrics and instability. Narcissists take a toll on your body, sadly.
I can relate to this. Even one day I was supposed to meet him after his work shift and I rang him saying I didn't know what to do because I put wrong my contact lense and it went somehow at the back of the eye and I got scared the living sh*t of me and he was like whay you want me to do. Some other days I couldn't say I felt sick because it was like I always had to be okay. Now after all the shit he put me through is giving me silent treatment, gaslighting while on Tinder. I cannot go to the house we shared as it belongs to his parents. I'm 35 and my life is a total mess and destroyed. Mentally drained but I have to book that flight to a new country to get my life back... I need to find the strenght. Back to my parents house, I haven't left my room for more than a week since he will not reply or answer to give me the explanation I need.
@@lauralau1377, I don't have advice but just wanted to say I'm so sorry and I hope you are able to get to your folks' house soon, if you haven't already. God Bless.
He’ll never give you the answer you need, because he would have to “out” himself, and faults or failures cannot be admitted. Everything will always be your fault in his nasty little mind. You can do this; prayers!
One month after my father died, I awoke in the night weeping. I instinctively knew to not grieve in front of my (now ex) husband who would become annoyed, as he often did with people and moments that weren't him-focused. As to not disturb him, I moved to a chair in the living room. He came in and coldly told me to "Get over it already, it's been a month." And this was him in a relatively good mood. In another incident, he physically hurt me, resulting in a concussion & injuries to my neck and retina, to which his only reaction was to slam his fist and say, "I knew God wouldn't let me get away with that one." With no concern or remorse, it was all about him. It took a few years, but as I matured I was able to close that chapter.
I have an incurable and immensely painful nerve disease. My sister and mother act like I don’t have anything wrong with me. I can barely walk, they act like they can’t even remember what’s wrong with me. When they get sick it’s like a drama show. So needy and yet have no empathy for me. I am so out, grey rock to no contact.
Great video! Thank you for this topic! My narcs in my life, never considered my health, I remember driving myself as a grown woman to an emergency room myself! I had an almost deadly miscarriage, needed emergency surgery and both the husband and the mother acted like I was just wanting attention, so they both had no empathy. That was the time I began to plan my exit! So glad that is all behind me!
I’m so sorry 😢 I can relate in my own way. I’ve had to drive myself to the ER on a couple occasions and my narc parents used to shame me, blame me and severely neglect me due to my chronic conditions - that I’m still to this day trying to heal and have been dealing with for years. Best decision I’ve made is going no contact. There’s been grief for sure, but also a lot of relief. I’m glad you got out too! Big hugs to you, take good care 🩷
When I had the flu my wife was texted me that its bs Im in bed. When I had my ankle reconstructed from an injury she said I wasnt doing enough around the house 2 days out from my surgery. Narcs are monsters.
It took me having Breast Cancer to realize how true this is! I took my mother to my first Dr appointment and she made it all about her. Years of hearing, “I wish there was something I could do” from people when they expect me to stop living my life to to cater to them.
Same here, have a terminal illness and family has abandoned me because I am no longer of use to them, even though I was there for them for decades @@anneking2631
This is so true. It can be very confusing when one pretends to care for the show but does not help or care behind the closed door. I’m so happy I’m out of that unhealthy relationship that lasted 10+ years. I got the best out of him.. precious son who, thank God, is a very caring person.
I had longterm stomach problems related to having too much cortisol in my system, which gave me gas in my teens. Upon asking my mother (the aggressor) if I could go to the hospital for it, I would get a "sighhh... you're okaayyyyy..." It went away as soon as I got her out of my life, along with many other problems. Don't wait to do it unless you absolutely have no other choice. Abuse like this can cause lifelong illness.
When I was really sick and I couldn’t do stuff around the house they said to me angrily “well stuff still needs to get done.” So instead of helping for a few days I was doing it all still and I could barely breathe with bronchitis.
I've been married to a narcissist for 47 years. We've certainly had our ups and downs and lived through a couple traumatic illnesses. I've learned a lot. Thank you for educating the public. It helps. I've learned to calmly, cheerfully call his behaviors out. I got help which has given me the strength to do this.
Complained about pain for years growing up only for it to be dismissed and ignored by my mother... When I first got my diagnosis, I was alone. And had no support. My mom was too busy at a FESTIVAL, didn't even believe the diagnosis to be true. And had to go to the doctors with me the second time to validated with the neurologist that I had Multiple sclerosis at 25 yrs old. I've received little/no help from her in last 9 years since diagnosis. Too much of a burden and a hindrance to her exciting plans.
This is my mother. Silver lining is she revealed herself to the world so I got support from my community AND to sever my relationship with her! Yesterday marked 3 years no contact. I call it my re-birthday🎉🥳
No 3 was my mother. She always had to look good to everyone. She always tried to control me but I was very independent but however I repeated the relationship dynamic by having narcisstic boyfriends until I woke up. I am notvweak, ill, I'm sensitive to my surroundigs and other people. Now with knowledge, waking up and with this beautiful sensitivity I can see through a lot of people's behaviours and situations and now I have healthy boundaries. Thank you Kevin
Here's a great example....actually, a couple of examples. I was very good at attracting narcs. The one that stands out the most is the one I was with the longest. He proved who he was more than once, and this began only 4 months into our "situationship" when I was still living in Florida, we went to Universal Studios. He knew I would never ride a coaster that would go upside down....it's just not something I've ever liked. I had no problem with tamer coasters that didn't invert. We're standing in line for....Rockin' Roller Coaster. There's a dad and his son standing in line behind us. I asked my situationship if the ride indeed would invert, and he smiled, lied and told me "no" while signaling the dad behind us NOT to reveal that he was lying to me. I caught it, but didn't want to believe he'd lie to me. I found out the hard way a bit later when I went to my doctor for neck pain. The doc looked at my results and then at me, and asked, "Have you been in a car wreck recently?" "No, why?" "Because you have a whiplash"......wait, it gets better.....a short time after this, while I was riding a newly purchased "Trikke"(which I got a refund for) I tore my achilles... completely ruptured - right achilles....I drove to my place with the injury and while driving, situationship called me, I didn't say exactly what happened, but he said sarcastically, "did you hurt yourself?!" his tone was like how could you be so stupid.... my response -"Um, I'll call you when I get to my place, I have to be careful right now as I drive, because I'm in a bit of pain"......from that point on, I drove MYSELF to my orthopedic doctor for treatments....I taught myself to drive "lefty" for about a year....I didn't break up with the loser right away after this injury....this speaks volumes of the lack of self respect and value I didn't have for myself at that time, but I did dump him about a month after. Every doc appointment I drove to...."lefty"....I did on my own. He never once offered to help drive me anywhere even to my doc appointments, and through the whole healing process, I continued to work. I know this is a long winded comment, but if it helps anyone who may be going through something similar or even worse, that's why I'm posting this. God was with me the whole time waiting for me to return to Him. He's patient and loving but will not force Himself ever on any of us. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. The hard times made me a better person and to NOT tolerate toxic behavior from others. Those who mean us harm actually teach us to be stronger over time, but let's not make it a lifelong habit to attract the scum of the earth to learn from. Thank you Kevin, for your channel and for helping others. God Bless.
I've been diagnosed with incurable blood cancer (Multiple Myeloma). Both known narcissists, one coworker said I was just trying to make her look bad, another said I was loving the attention (I was actually in isolation and had minimal contact with anyone). My boyfriend of four years ghosted me upon hearing from someone (not me, I was still hospital pretty much unconscious). The good news is that when you are terminally ill, you don't give these people a second thought so their deliberate attempts to hurt me failed miserably.
When the Narc was asked in court why he wanted to divorce me, his response was, “she’s sick (cancer), and is needy, and I did not sign up to take care of a dying wife. It’s my time to have fun.” Guess who died of cancer, and unloved, with no one to take care of him. One guess, it wasn’t me. 🙏🏻🤨
True!!! Many narcissists die alone!!
God doesn't pay debts with money is the old saying. Seems true with some narcissistic people.
God bless you woman. God is and always will be with you.
I have stage 4 cancer, in remission, and my husband initially took good care of me, with the help of others. Not long after I was released from the hospital and came home, everyday he would continue to go to the bar, as long as someone was with me! I took “in sickness and in health seriously” apparently he skipped that part. He was good to me right up until he found his new “supply” . That apparently gave him the green light to have an affair for almost two years. I kicked him out after physical abuse. What a sick bastard. He will die alone.
Isn’t it amazing how they think? You and I have both been sick and thrown to the side! May they live a life of misery.
Don't forget ignoring. They ignore you when you are sick--walk past you when you are vomiting, leave you alone in your room without food for the whole day when you cannot make it down the stairs to the kitchen, rarely check on you when you have a stomach virus, etc. And then they gaslight you afterwards and tell you that they did.
@@living2day617 If you had a phone available to you, you could have called an ambulance to take you to the ER. I am surprised that you did not succumb to your illness and your own self-neglect. No matter how sick you are, help is just a phone call away.
I've experienced this. They get put out by the sound of you puking your guts out. It seems way too inhumane for me to understand.
After just vomiting and then coming out of the bathroom door to go back to bed feeling and looking dreadful I happened to look over to my narc to realise he was taking a photo of me …. Now that is really creepy …. I was too ill to complain … went back to my Covid bed.
Thinking about that incident really creeps me out … Now that is sick!!
A normal human being would not consider doing something like that to his wife 🥲
I can actually back this up. I was sick for the majority of the week 2 weeks ago and they did not tell me that they made food. They instead chose to only feed my mentally ill sister. When I walked out there at the end of the day starving, I saw dishes and became very livid. They could've at the very least told me even if it meant that I had to get it myself.
@@living2day617 I AM SO SORRY. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I AM RELATING TO THE NONCARING WAY YOU WERE TREATED. YOU DESERVE BETTER AND SO DO I. GOD BLESS.
Best way to tell you’re involved with a narcissist - how they treat you when you’re sick!
Yes, absolutely!!!
I used to think it was just because men were terrible caretakers.
it depends if they still want something from you you had not yet given them. if they do, they´ll put in the effort, but not for you.
@@jeans.5252 a lot of men are nurses/emts/paramedics, etc. My husband was a paramedic. Then his first wife got sick and had severe MS for 20 of their 23yr marriage. He took good care of her, but it was tragic. I plan to take care of him since he's older, but he's in great shape so far, better than me. 😅
So true. Also when you are upset about something that has nothing to do with them, he has to pick a fight.
I had major surgery. He didn’t even pick me up from the hospital. Our daughter came instead. Once our children got me to bed, he came in from work and laid across my legs. I couldn’t even scream! He asked why I wasn’t smiling. He couldnt understand why I was crying. Our children moved me into another bedroom to recover. The oldest two cared for me and helped me get on my feet. After I recovered, I began ignoring him and his needs. He moved out one year later. Good riddance. Our home is happy and peaceful now. No more mantrums, silent treatment, cold shoulders, belittling,………etc.
🧡🧡🧡 sounds like you raised lovely children though! Good job, mama! Hope you stay well and free from him.💗💗💗
Mantrum is a great new word! I will definitely use that one.
@@julieoelker1865Great! Can we say "Womantrum", too?
@@flumpaustin1994sure why not if a woman throws one but in her case it was a man
Mantrums 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Our 12 year old had surgery to have a cancerous tumor removed, my ex-husband (we were still married at the time) who is a pediatrician got mad at him because he was crying. He has bad reactions to pain meds and to anesthesia. My husband said “we sat out here in the waiting room all day and your the one crying? You slept through the whole thing!! “
What an awful father. Thankfully my son doesn’t remember that day. Of course my mother-in-law got mad because the surgeon was taking too long and she was tired of waiting to see if her grandson was going to be ok, so she left about 3 hrs into the surgery. She actually did us all a favor. She was hoping for a poor out come. She wanted all that sympathy from her friends and family. My son is now 30 and perfectly healthy. Thank God!
His mother was also a narcissist, that's where your ex-hsband got it from.
Wow. Thats shocking.
I can totally relate.
I'm glad your son is well. ❤❤❤
@@maria12501 I too can relate
Getting gaslit while feeling physically sick is awful.
My ex always told me it was all in my head. He's dead now, reaping what he's sown
It's a nightmare.
When I was having trouble with low blood sugar & panic attacks, my husband told me it was all in my head. But after our divorce & he had a woman move in with him, he was very concerned about HER low blood sugar!!!! He never told her it was all in HER head!!!!
@judycrisenbery2982 He's probably doing the same to her, because a leopard cannot change it's spots. She is not going to confide in you tho because you're the ex, but I'm sure their honeymoon ended about a week after he married her.
Absolutely
The narc sister abandoned me after my release from the hospital. She told my dad, "she needs to get herself together". These people are selfish and evil.
Yes you are right they are💔
I’m so sorry.. my sister is the same 😢
Yea and they get jealous of you receiving any type of attention
Maybe your lucky because she didn't want to take care of you..
for sure! @@teresadvorak6145
My narc ex husband would see it as a competition whenever I got sick. He all of a sudden would have a health issue that was more important at the same moments I would be sick.
My current narc husband (for the time being) always has some "issue" that pops up when I am planning something. It's like clockwork. I have a bet with myself what it will be next.
Lol.....when I was pregnant and sick, he had my same symptoms. Truth.
My mother does this as does my partner. I can never be sick.
Oh tell me about it!!!
When pregnant I needed back surgery but couldn’t get it since I was pregnant. His back suddenly went out, too. When I got home, he went to the hospital & got morphine (I couldn’t have any since I was pregnant which he rubbed in) & wouldn’t stop bragging about flirting with all the nurses. I needed back surgery, he didn’t. But he got all the attention; he made me go home & decorate his Christmas tree w/a walker. I had back surgery Dec. 23rd. He demanded it since he needed his slave back in full operation.
My husband left me when I became disabled. He said I was “defective and useless.” It’s taken me 3 years just to come to terms with all of this. The cruelty is unimaginable.
So sorry you experienced that!
Moi aussi.
My husband left me also when I started having chronic pain. I haven’t dated in 11 years. Too afraid to meet another toxic one.😊
Never underestimate the human capacity for cruelty.
My husband uses those exact words all the time. I'm always defective & useless. Even when I'm on my period he calls me broken because I'm of no use to him. Then he gets mad when I say we're just bang buddies. But that's exactly how he treats me!
I was in my mid 30s and married to a horrific narcissist. I was planning to leave him and seek a divorce. There were a ton of reasons, but one thing that struck me that summer was I thought, “Do I really (still) want to be married to this awful man when I get older, and I’m sick or disabled?” I knew my life would be worse than the hell it was in my 30s…not to mention that I would be broken and only have bitter memories of my life in old age. I left at the end of that summer.
I had EXACTLY the same thought !
This made me so scared that I started IMMEDIATELY to work on my divorce.
Save by the bell
I had to uber home from the hospital after surgery and all he wanted to know was what was I going to make for dinner. We are divorced. 🎉
So glad you got out of the relationship!
@@preciousgem9343 thanks
Good for you !!!!!!
Excellent.
I'm sorry gf I ubered home after a cosmetic surgery he couldn't take off work I understood I arranged for a medical driver and then spent next few days recovering ALONE BF disapeared bc I told him to go home night before surgery bc he was acting rude towards me and I set a boundary. Think he didn't want me making myself look good and was Envious. He decided to Ice me After and I saw REAL HIM. and now I was FREE .🎉🎉🎉🎉😅 broke up w him and did not let him back in my life.💃
When I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease is when my husband became very abusive. Zero empathy, zero compassion. He started cursing and yelling at me on a daily basis. I saw behind the mask.. VERY SCARY! At one point I thought he could murder me. I have C-PTSD bc of his abuse, but I am healing. Happily divorced. 🙏🏼
Good for you Grrrrrrl!!! BRAVO 👏 👏👏👏👏🙏💐🙏Enjoy your freedom & the new year.
I experienced same with my father, he was attacking me and as well I face PTSD. Those people abuse you if you are depending on them. Glad that you took way out of it. I wish you peace and healing from this! If I can give you tip...so take some animal easy for care or service dog. It helped me with PTSD ane some health issues. My dog remove clothes etc. It made me more secure and happy. Maybe it can help you too.
Thank you my friend. I wish you peace and healing as well @@raniyuna2930 🙏❣
🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾
GLAD YOU GOT OUT OF THIS. GOD BLESS YOU. I AM RELATING WITH THE AUTOIMMUNE SITUATION DUE TO CROHN'S DISEASE. HE COULD CARE LESS. STARTED PURSUING NASTY THINGS IN THE STREET. WITH HIS NASTY MOTHER'S HELP. SHE IS IN THE NURSING HOME NOW. HE WILL HAVE NOTHING WHEN THE OLD MISSERABLE THING DIES. SORRY, I FEEL SO MAD AT HOW HE TREATS ME AND HOW FAKE HE IS TO THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW HIS SICKO WAYS! I AM TOO SICK TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE BUT HE KNOWS I KNOW ABOUT HIS WAYS. OF COURSE, HE LIES EVEN WHEN CAUGHT! HE GASLIGHTED THE HELL OUT OF HIS DEAD WIFE. GOT THE FAMILY HATING HER FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN HIS BULLCRAP LIES! I WILL NOT BEND DOWN TO HIS LEVEL! HE LOVES GETTING ME MAD-ESPECIALLY WHEN SICK!
When I told my mom that I had stage 4 lymphoma cancer. She got mad and actually blamed me for having cats and they probably gave me the cancer!?!?!?!?! These people are so sick and so twisted, its unbelievable.
So sorry. Hugs to you 🌹
I'm so sorry you have to feel that type of love. Draw near to Christ, he loves you and wants you.❤
I feel this. This is one of the many reasons I am no-contact with my mother. It’s brutal.
Omg! So sorry you have or had cancer but we all know it was not cats! Why are people like that! I’ve been through it it’s awful!
I got comments like that from family when I had breast cancer I was expecting something like " don't worry. We'll pick up the kids from school" or "can I drive you to an appointment". My neighbors helped me instead.
This is my Mom and ex Husband!! I never understood the person who is always helping people how they could be a narcissist. Now I understand!!! It’s so Evil!!
You made me realize how horrible my marriage was and how greatful I am to be divorced..
It’s when divorce is not such a curse!
I'm too Catholic to get a divorce. My Mom was too, and died of cancer at 78. My narcissist dad is 91 now, and has found another idiot to wipe his lazy a*s.
@@mistert7958this is a lie. I am Catholic and the priest advised especially after all the trying I did. The church doesnt support abuse.
Thank you Kevin.... When I left my narcissistic partner... My friends told me I looked ten years younger... Proof enough
When my ex narc died I lost 70 pounds, my health drastically improved and I looked years younger.
My sister decided to make it seem she was help when I had several strokes but now I am doing great she can't control my everyday decisions
Kevin these people are virtue signaling with gaslighting the sick individual. They are cowards they mess with you when they really see you are sick.
Yes you got that baggage off your back that’s why 😂 does it feel nice? That’s a lot of weight to carry
I have aged 2 years in a few months. They'll eventually kill their victim.
I had an operation for Endometriosis... and my Mum was bitching about me to my dad about how much of a hassle I was to look after when I asked for a glass of water..... She did it so that I could hear also... and then deny what she had said. I will never forget how shes treated me, neglected me and abused me... I am no contact for 6 years and I have so much peace. Very grateful for my strength in staying away.
Stay strong fellow orphan
Good job, you deserved better.
Glad you went no contact!! It's been 3 years for me and I am so much better!!!!
Almost 25yrs NC for me and it's the best decision I ever made! Narcs get worse when they get old and sick too. We're dodging a bullet.
Me too. Do pleasantries with my mother at Christmas but that's it. I'll order her meds but want nothing to do with her. Never been happier at 48.
My ex did nothing for me and our kids when we were sick with the flu but when he was sick he acted like a baby wanting all kinds of attention. Lol, another reason why he's my ex!
Similar experience
Very same experience
Same! Extremely emotionally immature. But in my case.... the ex now has our kids. 😢
But he had Man Flu!! 😂🤣😂 Yeah, I need to choose a better man. My ex was b*tching about me not cooking, shopping etc, so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had pneumonia. So I was faking it? What a butthead!
This is pretty normal.
I was conditioned from birth. My older sister and my mother were flaming narcissists and not being aware of it married one. I’m 65 and I just got free from it. Phew!
Same here only I’m stuck with him still.
@@msem4228 Wow! I’m so sorry😳. I don’t know how to advise you because I still struggle even though he’s gone it’s not easy. It’s terrible because when I first left him I didn’t even know if I could go shopping and buy things even though I knew I had done that many times before him, there was something inside me that felt like I was not going to survive if I wasn’t with him. all I can say is just keep making him happy (because they can get dangerous) until you can get out. I’m going to pray for you that you have an exit somehow, take care love
Same!!
I have the same problem. Got worse when I divorced my narc ex, then suddenly him and my sister became besties - the hell those 2 put me and my children through is absolute madness, inconceivable to those who have never experienced being the scapegoat of a narc family. But sadly there are MANY of us 😠😢
@@genenedormehl351 what’s funny is I had to kick my sister out of my life, I moved to the other side of the continent. My ex followed me over here (one state north of me) and I’m pretty sure him and my sister talk. Poor narcs, they’re seriously disturbed individuals. Good luck to you and congrats on your getting away. You might have to diss own your sister like I did.
Left when I was in the ICU diagnosed with Gastroparesis, after surviving cancer, later diagnosed with Lupus and he jokes about it all to our daughter. Laughs at my disabilities. Tells her I deserve it. It’s affecting her emotional well being. I have told her to cut him off but she finds it hard. Children of a Narcissist are the ones who suffer the most from the Narcissist. I’m an adult and chose this person. She did not. I feel guilty for choosing him resulting in her pain. I never thought of him again. I was too busy recovering. She’s the one who had to deal with him.😢
My husband literally kicked me out of bed because my coughing kept him awake. It turned out I had pneumonia when I called my mom in the morning and she took me to immediate care. That was the last straw.
Did he have to wake up for work? Ma’am, respectfully; coughing and snoring aren’t the easiest sounds to sleep with. Especially coughing; since it’s sudden, loud, forceful and there’s nothing rhythmic to the sound. Nobody is sleeping with coughing . It may have possibly been more polite for u to switch rooms , I dunno. 🤷♀️
He could have switched rooms just as easy as her.
@@libralillyknits or the husband could have switched rooms a let the sick wife stay in the bed most comforting. At least that is what I would want, my own bed.
Mine did that too. Told me to go to ER. Dr said I was hypochondriac as I coughed up palm sized green/yellow stuff
@@libralillyknitshowever mam they don't want to leave when they are coughing and I have to get up
Narcissist abandon you when you’re sick or someone dies. because they can’t understand how to give sympathy
It’s not that they don’t understand; it’s that they don’t care.
They are actually so sick in their minds, they will interpret kindness for weakness ... 😅
It gives them joy when we suffer.
This is my thoughts on this also ; I noticed my narcs family would always say he don’t deal with funerals well you know he’s gonna duck off bc he doesn’t like to deal with things like…….. well I don’t want to hurt nobody’s feelings but he is a grown ass man and if his children can go up to the coffin at the wake of his mother alone 13 and 15 yrs old he can also !! He would be strong and standing with his kids and family but instead he’s acting like he can’t go into the viewing and I had to say it’s not bc he can’t cope it’s bc he doesn’t have the normal reaction to death and loss and he knows people will be observing his behaviors !! Not saying he didn’t mourn the loss of his mother or wasn’t upset bc she had passed but it’s very short lived and not very much emotion expressed at any point ! They don’t have empathy and sympathy unless it’s someone doing something to them and it’s understood very well that it’s not acceptable to test them in that way
True Fact. If you did not want to see me when I was alive. You don't deserve to see me resting in peace.
People come up with lame excuses for not visiting. Oh you know I don't have transportation. As though it's your fault. I had a sister tell me when my Mom was deathly ill, just let me know if she gets worse then I will try to come visit her. I'm like what kind of people don't even have empathy for their own Mom?
Think before you bend over backwards to help people who never reciprocate or when they do you become a problem for them.😮
I've had 5 deaths in the family in 3 yrs. He had no empathy no care no concern no emotion
Awwww my heart goes out to you. Hope your doing ok.i had the same experience when my sister died of camcer then my father few years later. He never asked me once was i ok did i need to talk . He used to leave me with our baby while he partied .disappeared for days
I'm going to put my hand up. I'm the child of a narc parent. Had it drilled into me shows of emotion and grieving were pathetic and showing weakness. I can't break that programming, I've broken many others over time and there's a difference between being indifferent/cold and you just can't do the emotional thing. You still have the feelings, you can convey them verbally you just can't show them. I'm sorry for your losses but not everyone who doesn't show emotions are Narcissists, in fact many narcs are extremely good at showing fake emotions when it is to their advantage.
So typical.
Im sorry for your pain and loss of your loved ones. I know your pain 😢 It will get better but its takes a-lot of time.
I'm sorry. Hope you dumped his ass
The day my mum got told she only had a few months to live with painful operations, chemo and radiotherapy to look forward to until the end, she was obviously an emotional wreck.
The first thing my dad said to her was "How do you think I feel?"
During my fight with breast cancer, my ex husband went completely south on me. When I asked him about his lack of compassion he said, “I didn’t sign up for this.”
When friends asked how they could help, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “she got what she deserves.”
He was pure evil
😢🌹❤️
Oh wow! 😔😪
🤬🤬🤬
A true a@@hole!! 😡
You better off with out that 😈
This is *so* true. I pay close attention to how people treat anyone who's unwell. Even if someone says they're feeling unwell and it's treated as a fabrication or exaggeration (without good reason), I've immediately formed a low opinion of them.
These are the worst sorts of people. No matter the environment. Frankly, they're an illness themselves and make people sick.
😢 ………… 🤔 😢🥺
Lord have mercy. I was raised by narcissist an had relationships with narcissist I am realizing that I have been gaslit my entire youthful and adult life.😢 no wonder 💭 I made poor decisions and I was told to hide my illness
Diagnosed with lupus back in 2005. No one even knew about it till about 2015. My friends They never knew.
I just said I had arthritis problems. They were upset with me which I could understand, because I would drink, and hang with them like I was healthy enough to handle the things we were doing. Just trying to fit in, and not be a burden to anyone. I truly appreciate you coming out and explaining these things. This breaks my heart, because now I sit on a machine doing dialysis three times a week to stay alive. Lord have mercy on the souls that were victims of narcissistic life. Never heard of virtual signaling narcissistic. I am a victim of this.
I moved back home to be there for my mom because I didn’t want her to feel alone. 😭😭plus she is the one to nurse back to health if I get a kidney 😢😢😭
This is how my husband was with our son who got diagnosed with cancer.
True
"Frankly, they're an illness themselves and make people sick." 💯
I am now 72, and my marriage lasted only 14 years: when I was 7 months pregnant with my first child, I cane down with real influenza. My GP said go to bed, and only take paracetamol. So I did. During that time my wider family only made me one meal, a lunch. Then one evening my husband came into the bedroom, and said: "I've just had a lovely roast dinner at your sister's house." He gave me a peck on my cheek, then went into the livingroom to watch television. He didn't so much as offer me a glass of water, let alone a meal. Had I not been so ill, and so pregnant, I would have got into my car, driven away, and never returned.
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that.. :( That is so disgusting!!! I hope you are now happy and living an amazing life!!!
Downright evil 😡
I don’t have the words. I’m sorry.
I'm sorry this happened to you. They are evil people.
So sad
When I was 8 months pregnant I had a very painfull episode of varicose veins. For 3 weeks I literally couldn't walk, nor even sit. Laying down was painfull. It was worse pain than childbirth itself.
How did my loving and caring husband react?
He beat me because I didn't clean the flat. Literally.
He didn't care about me, he didn't even care about the baby. His baby.
Now he can enjoy quality time in prison.
I think you have a more serious problem than a narcissist.
Good for you, puttin' his sorry arse away! Now Bubba can beat on *him* Lol...
Men beating pregnant women is not uncommon it seems people are more foolish than animals.
Prisons are FULL of narcs.
My ex spouse is a narcissist. I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and fibromyalgia 7 years into our marriage. I thought at😂first he cared but I finally figured out after a few years of being very sick . What you said about him being nice the first few years he was being all into my illness. As time went by I realized he was doing it to be the hero
When he stopped getting attention from everyone and life became lackluster, he began mentally and emotionally abusive. At the end of our 31 year marriage about the last 10 years he started physically abusive. I am now on my own and doing so much better. I haven't been in the hospital for 3 years now. Before that since I was 30 years old until 55 years old I have been in the hospital 61 times. I am feeling much healthier and happy again. Thank you for your video. It confirmed everything I thought before but wasn't totally sure and actually began thinking I was going crazy
I was in the hospital for almost 3 months with covid. I was really sick. After I finally was released from the hospital my doctors told me I was actually dying due to covid. All he did the entire time was ask me when I was going to be released. Would get angry when I told him I didn’t know. Then 3 years later, I was diagnosed with cancer. At that point I was ghosted. Realized all he was interested in is when I was going to be able to have sex again. I finally realized I deserved better and what a narc he is.
My God relieve your pain and heal you and your spirit.
I had this exact same problem. I got covid and I was so sick and all he did was bitch about me being sick and that I was going to get his mom sick!!! They both were the ones making me go to the store every damn day during quarantine to buy her snack cakes!!!
Thank you for this extremely important message Kevin. Narcisists are very dangerous individuals and they behave exactly the way you have described. It is no joke. Their lack of empathy, selfishness, laziness and deceitful manipulations can even cost you a life. They are deadly predators. We must have nothing to do with them.
Spot on comment, I totally agree
😮
Yes and Kevin behaves in exactly the same way. Seriously; how many 'how to recognize a Narcissist' videos do we need?
You are needy, clearly, and Kevin knows that by telling you what you already know , you will give him your money. And tomorrow, he will tell you again.
You're needy and as Kevin well knows, 'Narcissists' are not creating the problems you are experiencing in life.
@@undercoveragent9889 Narcissist.
@@undercoveragent9889you are very strange psychologically
What you are saying in this video is exactly what I went through with my narcissistic "friend" last month. I was home alone and I lost consciousness and hit the floor so hard my face swelled up so bad I called an ambulance. This has never happened to me before and I was in total shock. I called my friend, crying, before the ambulance got here, not for him to come but to let him know what happened and where I would be. After I got back home and talked to my friend again, he had no empathy whatsoever. He made light of it and told me it's happened to him and it was nothing. He told me I was exaggerating and making a mountain out of a mole hill. In the next week I needed help with errands and he gave me all kinds of excuses of why he couldn't come. He claims he cares for me but when I needed him most he wasn't there and he continued to demean me and tell me I was overreacting and even laughed! In the weeks following my fall, he never once came over to comfort me or to see the damage to my face. A friend that supposedly cares about you doesn't do that! The hospital told me I was in enaphalactic shock, possibly from a spider bite and it can be life threatening but I was ok. I was so angry at him for his lack of empathy that I have gone with the Silent Treatment. His lack of empathy tells me he DOESN'T care which was a hard pill to swallow. I haven't answered his phone calls or responded to his e-mails since. What a cold, heartless person he is. Now he is love bombing me and I'm ignoring him. I don't need him!
Oh thank goodness you are not involved w/ him. Find a nice girl to be ur friend..my friends of 40 yrs helped me thur stage 3 cancer..my ex husband of 18yrs..did everything he could to hurt me
Stay strong as he will get worse. The nasty starts after the love bombing doesn’t work. He will slander you to others to make your life as miserable as possible……why?…..because narcs can’t stand being rejected and you must be punished! Take care.
Get away from him! It’s only gonna get worse!
Be strong, stay away from him. He's revealed who he is, believe him.
He will let you die if he gets the chance. Mine had left me to die 4 times now! Once I'm well enough, I'm leaving. Please be safe. Don't be like me, I should have left when I had the chance, but I fell for his love bombing. Now I'm stuck. Don't let this happen to you! I'm serious.
I had a narc Mom and Dad- I was always sick as a child with tonsillitis and other illnesses but was constantly ignored and made sure I knew I was a burden and “faking it”. It wasn’t till I was 15 that my Grandfather made my Dad get my tonsils removed finally. Living in a home where both parents smoked cigarettes heavily was probably the main cause.
I also found out a few years ago I have a genetic disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, PoTS, MCAS and so on. I was never faking anything and was always ignored and gaslit by my parents.
They are demons. One is dead finally and now just waiting for the other. Going no contact with my Dad at 18 and no contact with my mom finally at 30 (40 now) was the healthiest decision I ever made!
I met my husband when I was 31 and he invested heavily into my health care and mental health. I’m very very grateful and blessed to have him. But I’m not gonna to lie, the damage my parents did to me caused permanent damage to my body.
Isn't it horrible to have an unknown chronic illness your entire life? Nobody believes different symptoms you explain over and over again to Doctors, parents, etc? Like you stated having 2 parents who are narcissists and you are "faking it." Then finally years later you get diagnosed with 1 or 2 painful, debilitating, serious illnesses. To top this off you find out down the road in a relationship or long-term marriage your spouse is a narcissist. You sound like a strong person who has been through much in your life. You don't ever give up and know you're not alone. My mother was a narcissist I figured out later in my life. Very often when we've had a parent or a close family member who has cared for us most of our lives and later find out they are narcissists very often we will end up marrying one or getting into a long-term relationship with another narcissist because that's the only behaviors we've seen so we think it's normal. When you finally find out what has happened to you by reading, seeing a psychiatrist or whatever you noticed that didn't seem right, it can be quite scary and unnerving. All the time you may have thought you were the crazy one. Then it's very important to get some kind of help overcoming narcisstic trauma abuse. It's not to be taken lightly. In fact I came across this article which said after living with this type of abuse for a long period of time you lose your vocabulary abilities and speech skills. Your thought process becomes muddled. You will need to begin healing yourself and educating yourself almost from the beginning. I hope your life gets a little easier and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I naturally turn into a dark empath when I encounter a narcissistic person, They stay clear away from me, I give them a dose of their own medicine and they can’t take it and I love it
This is so absolutely true, he knows what he's talking about. If you're early on in a "relationship" with no ties, then RUN! and never look back! If you're in an established "relationship" with kids, finances etc, then start preparing yourself so that once you've reached your breaking point, you can happily say sayonara and mean it with every ounce of your soul.
My narcissistic father dumped me in the street outside the hospital when one side of my body did not function. It looked like I had had a stroke. Roadwork made my father not want to run the car a few extra yards. I was dumped 500 meters from the ER. I did not get a single visit during my 14-day stay in intensive care at the hospital.
Omg I'm so very sorry ❤
So sorry!
Knowing by trial and error that your family does not have your back is devastating. -- But once I knew, I was out of there! @@lovelv1278
I hope you remember that later on.
I'm so so sorry that happened to you!
During the 2 years I stayed with mine after accidentally discovering he’d never been faithful to me, he admitted to me that he’d intentionally kept me sick the previous 12 years because he hoped that I would die. The reason he gave was because if I died then I’d never find out about the affairs. When they have a moment of honesty, it’s pretty scary and revealing stuff.
😲 - Wow!!!
Your comment, took my breath away! what a hideous and unfeeling human being!
That's What I Said. Narcissist : Parent, Husband, Partner or Sibling Endanger Your Life, Risk Your Life. In your Case your Partner tried to Poison you for 12 Years, he Really 😢 Tried to kill you, but you discovered it. Efrat.
I went through this same thing with my ex with being over medicated....he knew the shape I was in and pushed me either further...I knew something was up but couldn't put my finger on it .I harped and harped until he finally said this isn't about other women it's about other men!! He didn't want to admit his life style and certainly didn't want anyone else to know including his kids!! He ended up literally walking off while I filed for divorce and he knew the shape I was in when he Left!! He ended up stalking me and paying other people to follow me rattle me until I hired a PI and the first thing he asked me was.. did he have a life insurance policy on me!! He never came to divorce court and from that day to this we of course have never spoken!! He had never spent one faithful day in that marriage... but thank God I got out in 5 years where his ex had spent 30 with him!!! It's been a tough road .. somethings I never recovered but I have myself!! I'm single retired live alone have never dated again but I'm well and I'm receptive to someone new in my life 😅
It's healing to share and by so doing I pray some one else along the lines are helped ❤
Holy hell!!!
I use to have a lot of stomach trouble went on for several years. I was my Moms maid, driver etc. My dad didn't want to do any of it. They were both abusive in different ways. She did believe me when I told her I was sick but she never let me rest I still had to do for her. Dad said I was faking my stomach troubles to get out of doing anything. I was in my late 20s at this time. Totally controlled and used by them they had messed my head up so bad. I finally drove myself to the hospital one night i truthfully felt like I was dying...and I was. My gall bladder was infected to the point it was about to burst. I almost died on the operation table. The doctor told my parents that he brought me back. 1 week out of the hospital with drains still in my stomach and a 11 inch long cut on my stomach i was back to being mom's driver. I hate both of them and they are dead now and out of my life. Guess who took care of thier sorry asses until they passed. Yep me. Wish I'd walked away when I was 18. Dont waste your life on emotional black holes. Never again will I.
Daisy you are a little love. May your life be better now and someone special in it that appreciates and treasures you. Thanks for sharing❤
Be kind and loving... change your username. It's so disrespectful to yourself.
I'm so sorry u had to go through that.. Lots of love❤
You are NOT crazy!!!!!
Wow. So sorry
A few years ago my boyfriend got really sick.. I took care of him and did everything I could to make him comfortable and get better.. well since I was taking care of him I caught it just when he was pretty much better.. he wouldn’t do anything to help me and after asking over and over to bring me Tylenol, I ended up begging him to bring it, I couldn’t find it when I did get up, now I’m thinking he had it hidden.. but anyway after I begged and he finally came with it, he threw it at me as I was laying in the bed.. that really hurt my feelings, but I’m so glad I finally left him 😊
You escaped - so lucky you, for sure!
@@protospha yes thank you.. it got alot worse after this situation but I stayed on topic of the vid, yes I’m so lucky I finally was able to leave..
Dear Kevin, I really love and respect your channel and you as a person as you are really helping many people who need help. God bless you and your channel ❤❤❤
1) They think its a weakness 2) Its scares them 3) Its inconvenient for their plans. 4) They tell everyone how dreadfully you have aged... Thank you for this, its difficult to understand.
I have so many memories of this. It started very early into the 'situationship'. I had no clue what kind of energy I was dealing and coping with at that time... frankly for year's. Truly destructive, traumatizing memories. My children don't understand it. I've given up after 31 year's 'explaining' myself. He's got them completely derailed. Hook, line and sinker. Just have to let go and let God 💜💌 I pray for my children every single day 💔
The sadistic side of a narcissist is appalling. They derive pleasure when they can torture you, make you feel pain, cause you mental or emotional distress or inconvenience. Punishing those around them for their own sick pleasures is a sociopathic and depraved quality that is actually very scary. Because it's like they want to kill you, but don't have the guts to do it outright. So depriving you of the doctor visit, causing you to overexert yourself when you are sick or injured, verbally taunting you constantly and ridiculing you without end cause depression and deterioration. Many people HAVE died from this abuse. And after the death, they cry crocodile tears, telling everyone how much they took care of them, how much they feel like a failure (for victimhood), how they don't know how they will manage without them, and the drama is extreme. For about a week. Then it's on to find more victims, baiting their hooks with a sad story of loss, to reel in some other caring, sympathetic person who will go through the same thing. They are soul suckers. They are some of the blackest spirits I have known.
Is this person a Pisces?
A black spirit is a very correct way of describing this type of person..they are the anti Christ in your life and they are numerous!! This overcoming takes a whole lot but it can be done.....and once you see .. you see ❤
Very well put.
You are the first commentator who explains it so clearly ...
They are not human, they are actually possessed by a demon. They are not soul suckers they suck our life's energy ... we humans have a neverending energy from God and black entities require that.
@@Handlethisssno, they are demons, it's a spiritual warfare here on Earth, they are Satans little helpers hellbent on destroying you. That's what they are, do stop this nonsense with the Zodiak signs.
You explained my vile father exactly and when Mum was dying from pancreatic cancer he was frequently abusive to her. Us kids took turns staying there helping care for her 2 at a time coz dad is such an abusive psycho except to the golden child or when people were visiting. He refused to let her rest during the day yelling out as soon as I put her to bed to sleep. He’d yell out for her to hold the hose to the septic tank- meanwhile there were 3 adult kids 2 standing 5metres from him to do this. He’d go in 5 mins after I walked out asking Mum demanding she get up and tell him where his underwear was - at 1pm, what’s for dinner, just finishing lunch 30 minutes prior. On the 3rd time of requesting politely to let her rest he became aggressive towards me and remained aggressive, misogynistic and belittling always when he spoke to me. Just like the first 21 years of my life until I moved very far away. I stood up to him then simply asked at 11pm at night when he wanted to start another fight with me - for taking mum to the doctor the next morning. The way he spoke was like I’d never driven a car before and never been into town before. I’d been visiting that place occasionally for 12 years. I had a career in emergency services driving emergency services vehicles- to emergencies at times dealing with violent psychopaths domestic violence abusers. - for 17 years. I said calmly “do you take me for a fool?” He went off yelling then threatened me I could not see my dying mother if I kept with my ‘bad attitude’. I didn’t say anything but got up and walked away and went to my bedroom which was next to theirs and put the chair hard against the door handle. He woke up my dying Mother and complained relentlessly to her until 4am, I know I was awake hearing this psycho wondering if I should call police. I messaged my sister(another psycho abuser that still had her mask on during this ‘playing nice’). She just said to leave. My home was 3hrs drive away. I realize she had no empathy whatsoever. I didn’t call police coz my father had a gun locked away only he could access. I call police they won’t see violence (this time), my father will pretend I made it all up and after they go probably shoot me if not forcing me out if the house away from Mum. He would care if my 4 kids didn’t have a mother. As it was I left the next morning. He woke up at 7am and acted like nothing had happened- and expected Mum to get up and make him breakfast. She went to hospital 4 days later and was gone 2 weeks after that (10 weeks after diagnosis). He couldn’t wait until she was dead. He was doing everything possible to hasten her death. Her pain meds never truly worked, I told my sister this a registered nurse and found out she did nothing to help Mum except give her more medicine 😵 and get her cream for the allergy rashes but never organized a 24/7 palliative care doctor like she she would help me do. Dad wouldn’t allow Mum 24/7 palliative care doctor that was free but instead rely on their doctor who had no experience and was only available 3 days a week. She had to wait 4hrs in emergency if she wanted after hours care. 💀. The perverse psycho cruelty of this wife abuser has become far worse since he aged. As soon as mum died my sister went back to the psycho abuser that she was the first 22yrs of her life. At 55yrs old she started spitting venom
About my sick (adult) child with a life threatening medical condition- totally dismissive of his illness, angrily yelling at me denigrating him. Next phone call denigrated my husband. Next phone call lieI asked for help and she gave it only to lie to our younger abusive brother saying I owed her thousands of dollars. 💀. I called her out on her lying and she said nothing but then yelled at me and denigrated me telling me to fxck off and grow up and get over it- the terribly cruelty I witnessed my dying mother go through and the abuse I was subjected to by our younger brother - that she instigated. I then told a cousin of the dysfunction and abuse and it got back to her. She prevented me attended the spreading of my dead mothers ashes knowing I couldn’t get a flight in time due to the pandemic and then saying I was not welcome as part of the family to attend and made sure I didn’t get any ashes either. And she knew Mum was the only good parent to me and that we had a special bond that psycho was jealous of I now realize. My husband heard the whole conversation including when she yelled at me (over the other phone “You’ve made everyone’s life a misery”, then “It’s your fault mum suffered as she was dying and it’s your fault Dad treats you the way he does”. That B.C is dead to me. She has destroyed any possibility of us siblings getting together again - until after she is dead. She was never a sister to me growing up, lied pretending to be one for over 30years and as soon as mum was out of the house she started her narcissistic psycho rampage. Including crying to an in law that I said horrible things to her and that she is the one hurting since I cut contact. She’s hurting not being able to easily access me and my family to start a fresh new round of hell abuse. She certainly has succeed in tearing the family apart as soon as mum died, and where my abusive father failed as mum was the glue. A family childhood friend that I came across made mention of this and knew, like my bff, my father was a violent abuser back then.
In our 22 yr marriage there were 3 times that I really needed him due to an illness, injury, or recovery. All were very short term, but I did need help. He failed every every single time. Looking back I can remember how my gut was SCREAMING at me, “this is wrong & something is not right with him.” Lesson learned.
Lived it... experienced it too. You're not crazy. Your intuition is on point. Trust it always. In the late 80's early 90's I had zero understanding of what narc's are about. One of their first priorities is to undermine the loving bond you have with your children. 'One day - one drama - one set up' at a time. They are destructive , dark souls. Sly. They are thieves on every level. They use you because they absolutely 'know' that you are a sincere person. They manipulate you and use you for everything you have to give. You... make them look good. Never forget that 💚💌
It is wrong if someone doesn´t help you when you are ill. It is very wrong behaviour. If you love someone you will never let him/her alone even maybe you are not in good terms. (A husband should never leave you alone when you are ill). If he/she does he/she is never the right one for you (because he just doesn´t care a bit about you). That is just disgusting behaviour.
Don't expect much because they can not handle anybody being sick, and will keep their distance; treat you like you're an inconvenience, will say they will be there, but can't be found, will down play it like it's not that bad or somehow turn the attention back on them...but when they are sick, they expect everyone to bend over backwards for them
If you are a pain patient with a narcassist, you don't have a chance. Narcassists also have the same characteristics as demons do. When I left, i told him I was done & left. I didn't even go to my divorce hearing. Lost a lot of material things that mattered to me but at least i have my life & more saniyty & self than if I'd stayed.
Amen, sister!
You are spot on! I broke it down to the fact that when I was sick, I quit serving his purpose for me, ie. I wasn't earning $$, cleaning, cooking, whatever. I was nothing more than a utility item.
I married a textbook on narcissistic abuse. I was suicidal when I finally broke free. It is both liberating and heartbreaking that he is now someone else's problem. God help her, whoever she is.
Me: I'm sick.
Narcissist: Well DON'T go BLAMING ME for it!!!!!!!
Thank you for this video. Was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer December 2020. As soon as we stepped into the house after my second chemo treatment he turned on me and with his hands curled into fist screamed, “why don’t you just f*cking die?” Into my face. I was so shocked and chalked it up to him not knowing how to deal with the reality of my cancer. He then made a big deal of shaving his head when all my hair fell out. Everyone gushed about his caring and loving he was. Behind the scenes he never made one meal, cleaned the bathroom, washed and cleaned the sheets, etc. I was still the one doing all the house chores while also still working full time, while undergoing chemo, surgeries, and radiation. When I was declared stable, he freaked. His goal of being able to play the living and dedicated cancer widow was being taken from him. He assaulted me Christmas Day, 2022. Has been an interesting journey navigating rebuilding my life while also being attentive to my mental and physical health.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I really hope you are safe now. And healthy. God bless.
@@mbj-uo8lt That is very kind. Thank you 🌹. I am safe and once his assault trial is done in a couple weeks I can close the door on him even more.
@@FuneraryGirlGood luck at the trial.
What an entitled freak, so glad you are away from him now!!!!
Broken ankle with crutches and no weight bearing instructions. H laughed at my struggles to put the seat back down as doing it himself “was beneath him”. A cancer scare elicited “I took one wife through this. I didn’t sign up for another”. His first wife passed from cancer. Just two of many. Do not expect care either physically or emotionally from these folks.
Holy shit! This is very eye opening. I once was dying, and my then spouse did all of these things. They didn't want me to go to the hospital due to financial concerns on their part. When I wound up choking on my own blood from my failing heart and lungs, I had to threaten to call 911 if they didn't get me to a hospital ASAP. Then when I was on life support, they took on the hero nurse role. Less than a year later, they were tired of "taking care of me". "Tired of being my nurse". I know this is an extreme example. While I was sick beyond my own comprehension for a few days, they were going out to dinner with common friends. Nobody in my life knew how sick I was. I was lucky enough to have been life-flighted from one hospital to another in the nick of time. I should have died, but I was lucky. Now living with CPTSD, I understand the relationship was not worth going into a coma over. A normal person would have helped me out long before things got that far. I still can't believe I was almost a dead person because I clung to narcissistic abuse.
They sure are not 'normal'. This was how my nephew died, told he's exaggerating, go take a nap, and he did and never woke up. 43 years old.
They really will deceive you!
@@bernadette573Sad 😢 RIP🤍🕊️
They wont bring a glass of water let alone a bowl of soup...Good enough for you thats a narcissist
My narcissistic husband usually ignores me (closes my room’s door). When I was pregnant & felt sick I apologized for not cleaning up the kitchen (my duty). He looked at me smiling knowingly:”No worries! Go to bed. The mess can wait until you feel better whenever that may be.” Now, 10 years later I cleaned the kitty litter pan while I had 101F because he would ignore the basic sanitation. Yes, “You always sick!” the phrase I hear. I shopped for groceries all 2020/21 Covid crisis. His needs come first before my health.
This guy really knows what he is talking about. He says life giving advice when churches say to stay and love no matter what
I've noticed alot of narcissistic accuse others of narcissistic behavior.
my father was so abusive that when he got old and got cancer and my mom had the beginning of alzhymers; he would ask my mom to put his socks on and after 5 minutes remove them and then again put them on, remove them, feed me. He would call my mother a liar because she was forgetting certain things because of her illness. My father was a narcissist but he was a smart man and he knew very well that my mom was losing her memory, but he was enjoying the reactions of my mother, seeing her vulnarable, crying, swearing that she did do it on purpose. This was the end of a man who had terrorised an entire family and was doing his last evil actions. The strange part is that when he died, there were over 100 people who showed up to his funeral and the flowers that filled the funeral home reminded me a king's funeral. Then my mom dies after one year and she had 5 people burrying her with no flowers.
Your father told his friends, family & workmates nothing but complaints about your mother!! My narc. father told hid family & otyer how low-down his wife & kids were!! They lie & lie & then lie some more!!
Evil abounds.
I bet she had a huge welcoming at heavens gate.
Things are sometimes so unfair here.
I used to think if I'm not here for him, my ex, who will love him? Also he would threaten suicide or murder if I left. Eventually I left, and he's remarried. They've been together at least 8 years. I'm certain he'll have full attendance of people who never really knew him. I expect a handful, but they will be people who knew me with my faults and all and still supported me. I'll take quality over quantity.
Some are stunned at how selfish I could actually be to leave such a perfect, caring, loving man which they knew he was by his own touting. I had Christian groups praying for my mind and soul when I left him. I've probably never gotten as much prayer for anything as I got during those days. They weren't praying for my protection when I was there, but they turned up the prayers for the confused, lost sheep. I don't care what they think of me. I'm free. I did get a good laugh when I knee they were finally praying for me, and I suddenly felt invincible that he couldn't kill me because of their extra prayers.
So sorry. People can be so cruel or just plain as plain stupid
Reading that hurt my heart.
I had brain cancer when I was 11- took a little over a year to get better. I don’t remember a ton- just a lot of not feeling well. But AFTER, I found in the trash my father would throw away cancer survivor stuff like dinners and parties they would throw for sick kids- who knows what I missed while I was sick. He would say when I found the letters “you don’t want to hang with those sick kids” and “you’re better now and that happened a long time ago”. I never understood what it takes to start processing that stuff til a few years ago and I’m 30 now….
❤ we care
I have the ultimate example of how a narc will treat you when you're (mentally) ill. When I was 13 I tried to kms by swallowing an entire bottle of tylenol. About 20 mins after I had second thoughts so I went in the kitchen to tell my mom. She immediately goes "UGH, I don't believe this, so now I need to drop everything and go take you to the emergency in the middle of getting dinner ready because you decided you need some attention."
Wow! What a cold, cruel woman. I'm so sorry you experienced that. I'm glad you survived her.
So sorry for you. Hope your life is so much better now
So sorry your mom was so awful 😢
So grateful you survived. ✊✌️
@deewillis2409 So sorry you went through that! It's hard to understand people with not even the tiniest but of empathy. I hope you have some people in your life that you CAN count on now.
I've had narc abuse from staff in hospital as I'm autistic and they were so neglectful, really awful experience at 60 years old.😢
There is so much stigma and narcissistic people are amongst that!
My mom would say when I got sick, "How could this happen?" I was her maid, baby sitter, etc. and she wanted me always to cater to her. I ended up not telling her I was sick and worked through my illnesses.
It's a shame how alone we are after all the support we've given to the narc.
Smart don’t tell them nothing
My boyfriend narc when I was ill he also said how this happen?
Yeah when I had broken bones I had to brace it up take pain meds and keep going. Like I was a machine. It took longer but I did heal.
So sorry to hear that.@@laurac.9322
Treated dreadfully. Completely ignored me not even a drink of water. Had to ring friends to come and help and feed me. Horrible vile man. Now I'm disabled I'm sure it's because of abuse over many many years I now believe it's because of excessive cortisol. Not in my life now I left before he killed me which he tried to do several times. Enough was enough then I learned about narcissism and oh boy down to the last detail he totally qualified ruined my life.
I survived a near decade of Munchhausen’s by Proxy, while bedridden/housebound, at the hands of my “caretaker” mother.
It was due to a second bariatric surgery, meant to be a simple corrective surgery - which, my body wouldn’t heal from; hence, how she became my “caretaker” (I was so sick, I didn’t even know how sick I was, because I was so out of it. I heard her say the hospital wouldn’t release me, unless I had a caretaker - that’s how I learned it the word, in relation to my situation. Anytime she threatened anything, especially, when I tried to stand up for myself and she would say I could leave anytime I wanted to.. I said she is the one who took on the “caretaker” responsibilities, knowing full well what was going on.. She would always say she never, ever said that, even though, it was the truth).
Come to find out, during my tenure of illness..
All of my health issues - especially, the knee/ankle pain and hormonal belly/being overweight, at age 6 - we’re all due to incredibly dysfunctional adrenals.
I was diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome; long-term exposure to excess cortisol, due to external stressors/environment.
My mother discovered my health issues were stress-related - and absolutely ramped up her awful behaviors.
She would scream and yell at me, all the time.
I still have auditory hallucinations of her yelling my name - as well as in my dreams.
Also, I am autistic/ADHD.
As well as borderline, with DID, bi-polar, CPTSD, and OCD.
Now, my adrenals are so shot - I started perimenopause early, at the age of 34, and am permanently disabled.
And I am so sensitive to estrogen, there is no way I could bear children, now.
I don’t think I would have had the extent of the health issues I ended up with, due to the medical intervention from the time I was sick (I would take way more pain pills than even a recreational drug user - because of how tense I always was, especially, when she would get mad and yell; which, because I had a fistula connected to my digestive system - it stopped my digestive system, and everything would come out a hole, underneath my left arm. Absolutely excruciating)..
I use to be able to tell people “Don’t fuck with me - I’m twice the asshole you’ll ever be.”
However, now, since they removed part of my colon, I can say “I’m less of an asshole, than most.”
She would give me her Xanax, to help me “relax,” even though I was on oxycodone.
She would wait until right before I served dinner - where I would end up falling asleep, with my face in my food..
And she would leave me there.
And this was at a time I had a great amount of difficulty even getting in the shower - as well as I was always so cold, the water heater wasn’t turned up very high, and she wouldn’t do anything about it..
So, the water would turn cold before I could even get out - which, also, was quite painful.
So, point being..
I can REALLY relate to your disability, due to excess, long-term exposure to cortisol.
I will never not believe my mother didn’t do everything she could think of, to use my health issues against me, to make me more sick and induce my death.
(In my opinion, of course. I don’t need to get sued or whatever).
And I found out, last year, there is diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder in my immediate family, by someone I spent majority of my childhood with.
Ironically, she always did her best to help me gain self-esteem, supported my love for music and live shows, as well as always told me how “artistic” I am - which, I had no idea I was good at anything, whatsoever.
That was the first time anyone ever said I had a trait, like that.
Though, it’s undeniable they had NPD, also, with their behaviors throughout my life - though, I was warned when I was much younger there were court documents stating she wasn’t right..
So, I always knew when she acted strangely, it was because she was sick.
It was much easier to deal with those behaviors, as a kid, knowing that (though, I didn’t know I t was NPD, at the time).
Anyways, I pray you are doing better; and have been able to recover, as much as possible.
Warmest regards and all the best.
&My narcissistic father had a stroke at 60 years of age & it was because after 10 years of quitting smoking & drinking, he went back smoking3-4 packs a day & drinking beer & whiskey & was also obese!! He in his condition was still complaining, argueing, ect. He was a miserable man for the next 24 years & I had to put up with it!!
@@XOChristianaNicolepraying for a miraculous recovery for you and that you be encircled by kind, loving, hospitable souls. 🙏 ❤ 🙏
The devil created people like him
I love (sarcasm alert ⚠️) when you are really sick and they stop and look at you with that condescending smirk and say "you look like hell". Gee thanks, that really helps make me feel better. 😒
Lol. Heard thar one.😂
Well number 3 makes perfect sense to me,,,,living it now,,,,wow
Due to the years of abuse my health has deteriated to such a low point that without God help I would even be worse. At this point my narcissistic husband couldn't possibly care less if I live or die. I could leave him and become homeless and he wouldn't give me a second thought. He has extracted everything possible from me and now just wants me gone by whatever means necessary. But at my age, 82, and poor health moving on is an extremely difficult road to head down. He would take all or most of the money and leave me destitute being glad for the additional chance to hurt me. That is he singular goal in life.
My ex did all these things.
He told everyone that would listen that I was just lazy and refused to clean the house.
I was literally laying in bed dying everyday. I could hardly get out of bed.
But I was just lazy.
My mom used to do that...and with the years I internalized this voice calling me lazy...it has taken me a lot of work to contrdict these voices...specially because the narc was the one who made you sick on the first place
Yes, virtue signalling is real. I had triple spinal fractures and the narc family member used the term lazy, when all we could do at the time was nourish ourselves & rest. Their cruelty knows no bounds. And they do make us sick + inflict injury on top of that. It’s a positive we now know better and have taken steps to detach from them. Sending love and light to you all too.🩷💜🩵
@@linettelow 🤗💗
@@LesleyGarvs-vo7eq 🥰💖🪻
Treat u so bad.
To many narcissists and flying monkeys in the world.
Here’s one thing my narc ex-bf did: We were supposed to go to a party on a Friday night after work. I had actually left work at lunch and had a minor medical procedure done in the afternoon. I was in more pain than I had anticipated, plus I got my period that day so I had cramps and a headache. I was not in a party mood at all.
When he arrived at my apartment, I told him I was not feeling up to going to the party. First he said “It’s okay, we can stay here.” I thanked him and we began picking out a movie to watch. But over the course of about ten minutes he got quieter and quieter, then finally he turned to me and said “Can we just go for a little while?”
“Go where?” I asked.
“To the party,” he said, irritated.
This was the start of a fight that devolved into the full spectrum of narcissistic devaluations and manipulations (short of physical violence- he never hit me). He spent a couple of hours getting angrier and angrier that I was not well enough to go to the party. He claimed that he didn’t expect me to actually NOT go to the party, that I “should have known” that he was “just being polite” and that we really HAD to go to the party anyway. He unloaded accusations that I was being selfish and unsupportive of him. He displayed profound selfishness, entitlement, a total lack of concern for my well-being, prioritizing his facade over my well-being (the party was being thrown by his boss so he wanted to go and schmooze), lack of integrity (he said things he didn’t mean) and unwillingness to take responsibility for his own words.
After seeing this huge red flag, I should have dumped him right away. Sadly I did not, and I only had more of this same type of behavior in store for me. If someone you know is treating you like this, do yourself a favor: get out of the relationship and stay out.
Just one question:
Was there any reason why your ex--boyfriend couldn't have gone to the party alone? Since this was an OFFICE PARTY, that was being thrown by the boyfriend's BOSS, and not just some RANDOM party.... I'm having trouble understanding, under these circumstances, why it wouldn't have been okay for him to go to the party by himself......???
@@protosphaI'm certain it was because guilt-tripping her about not going was way more enjoyable for him. He probably didn't particularly want to go anyway, but making her feel awful about "letting him down" was more important. 😢
@@protosphaI'm certain it was because guilt-tripping her about not going was way more enjoyable for him. He probably didn't particularly want to go anyway, but making her feel awful about "letting him down" was more important. 😢
Oh my goodness...I can completely relate to what you just shared. While I was with the narc he literally would never invite me to his staff parties. I remember him being so concerned that he didn't have the right outfit for that occasion. So while I was out with our children and my stepson one afternoon I bought him an outfit at a second hand shop. I previously worked in men's retail before meeting him so I knew how to pick out quality clothing. I discovered some time after his staff party that the reason he never invited me was because he was having an affair with one of his co-workers. When he left that night to go to the party he looked absolutely amazing. None times out of 10. I was left alone with our children while he went out 'shmoozing'. If I actually did go to an event with him he would walk in and literally leave me behind in a room of mostly strangers like I didn't exist. He was always playing it like he wasn't really in a sincere relationship with me...for his 'audience'. A total disrespectful, ungrateful piece of 'garbage'. I was a mere employee to him and nothing else. He can pound sand.
@@protospha I still have that same question as well. I offered that option to him many times and he refused to take it. He overtly said that going alone was not acceptable to him- I HAD to go with him. My best guess is this: showing up to the party with his girlfriend was an important part of maintaining the Narcissistic facade, and if he showed up alone then he would not get the facade boost and the narcissistic supply that he was seeking. So going alone was unacceptable to him. The main takeaway is that to a narcissist, getting their narcissistic supply, controlling others, looking like they have it all and showing it off to everyone they know is more important than their partner’s physical health, mental and emotional health, the health of a relationship, etc….
I fell down an entire flight of steps as a kid while carrying a television down the stairs. I think that the cat was laying on the steps, and I stepped on the cat. My dad came running to see what happened. He stood at the top of the stairs and asked me, "What did you do to my TV?" There was never any concern regarding my well being, or the cat's welfare. I have had a neck problem for years as a senior. And yes, absolutely, my parents have made me sick, and they've made my entire family believe that I'm mentally ill. They've sabatoged my well-being, my life, my future. I didn't understand what was going on until tragic things woke me up, and I was in my late 40s when I recognized that my parents weren't nice people.
Yes. Please listen, listen, listen listen, thank you for been there for all of us
I was coming out of the second bout of Covid and was constantly coughing. My ex asked me not to cough because it's making too much noise and will upset the neighbors. I was facing surgery for an uterine tumor that made me very weak and unwell, and he asked me why I looked so unwell and how I let myself go so badly. Yes, and he constantly needed support regarding his health issues. Nowhere to be seen, just saying over the messages how much he cared. It was hell. I am out. Thank you for your video.
I don't share much of anything with narcissists because of this very reason. You're spot on. When you're sick it's inconvenient to them and an opportunity to make things worse. Things that they can't get away with when you're well they try to put stress on you at your weakest moments. You have a headache and all of a sudden they're yelling around you and making excessive noise. It doesn't even matter how critical the situation is. You fall on the ice and have a bruised rib and all of a sudden they argue with you to shovel snow and break ice on the driveway knowing that you're in pain and prescribed pain meds. They will do whatever they have to do to exacerbate any illness, cold or injury you may have because they get a sick satisfaction seeing you hurt or not well. They have no heart and that's why I don't waste my time with those individuals anymore. Thanks for this great video. ❤
....imo, also because they ARE100% Weak Cowards. Anyone can kick someone when that person is down - EZ. Yet, This person has learned to let the Narcs clearly know that, (By The Grace Of GOD) when I get back up off the ground, dust self off, - then they can Rest Assured that I will retailate by 150% with zero mercy. Amazing how Effective This new skill works for me, now at 60. Thankfully. Wish had known this 45 years ago. Well, live and learn and all thanks and praise to God.
🩵🩵🩵 I’m so sorry Rena, I’ve experienced narcissistic abuse too in the last 13 years & it was horrible. You’ve written it so well: every illness or injury we’ve had they’ve exacerbated. I’m sending love, light and peace your way. Having gotten out of the fog, I still feel sick to my core thinking about the pain they caused. I hope you too are safe & well this holiday season, wishing you the brightest, loveliest Christmas.🎄😌🐕🩵🩵🩵
My x shouted and threatened me when I had contractions to give birth. I was laying on the floor unable to stand up and he raged and spit on me and yelled: you always want it YOUR WAY. I was unable to react. When we arrived to the hospital he was smiling and acted Mr loving husband. I was in shock. I'm sorry I went home with him. It took me nine years to be free. No I'm happy without him.
Thank you. Hope your new year is brighter.@@linettelow
I'm sorry that you went through so much unwarranted hatred. They don't know how to love. The best thing I'd say is to learn about these sick individuals and identify them before you form any relationship with them. If you're of light they will try to replace it with their darkness. During pregnancy in the animal kingdom the male protects the female. If animals have that instinct and a human doesn't it's a red flag something is off. The covert narcs always pretend when someone is watching because they know what they are. You went through but you're not still there so I'm happy that you got to the other side. Now you're wiser. Stay strong. @@meretebogen8778
I'm going through this, I swear, word by word right now. The sad unfortunate thing about my horrible situation is, it took 25 years and me dying, coming out of it with a brain injury, for me to see exactly what I had been dealing with all these years. I was his parent, never an equal. I wasted my whole life with this disrespectful asshole. And I absolutely despise him for it! I'm mostly angry at myself for not seeing it. After my brain injury, it has been like a part of my brain I never used before suddenly got turned on! I need to divorce him. That I know. It's tough now that I'm disabled. But I'm working on a plan.
I'm sending you Strength and Focus.....never stop fighting for Yourself ! ❤️ 🐈
Good for you. Believe there is a way forward and out of that abusive situation. Wishing you an easy path forward.
Keep strong and have faith,belief that this will happen.There are many of us behind you ,wishing you well and sending Love and Strength.🤗🤗💕💕💕🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️
Go back 40-50-60 plus years ago, the word narcissist was NEVER, EVER mentioned, so much "hush-hush" even in mental health issues!!
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. Praying that you find the strength, resources & courage to accomplish all you need & find freedom from this oppression.❤
You hit the nail on the head! I left his ass!
I have been dealing with narcissistic people my entire life. I am an RN, BSN who is now disabled. I have gone basically my entire life without being sick, but the MINUTE I do get sick, all I see is eyes rolling, no sympathy unless I am looking in the dictionary between sh** and syphilis (as my mother used to say)! You are so so right about how they try to tell you (what) to do to make it all better. These insights are so clear, and I really appreciate seeing you on here teaching people, it really is wonderful to know that SOMEONE out here does CARE.
My mother told me on Christmas Day through FB when I had the flu, "can't you just get up and do something?"I finally just said, I'd rather lay here and rest. (That was the first Christmas I stayed home and away from her). To that she said, it would probably be nice to do something with family on such a special day (jabbing at the fact that I didn't come visit for the holidays). To that I said, I am with my family and I am having a good time.
Oh yes, as a young girl I had bouts of pain monthly that were almost unbearable. As I sat in the recliner with a heating pad to my lower stomach, my mom said, “Can’t you do something while you’re sitting there?” I was supposed to be productive constantly.
Great reply. I admire you being able to set boundaries especially while sick.
Good for you telling your mother that 😂
When my kids are sick, I take care of them. I let them take it easy and I make them green smoothies and rub their back. I was taught all what not to do by my selfish mom and am a better mother myself ❤
This is absolutely true. Please watch this video until you completely absorb the information. I am in this situation again going on 14 years. Narcissist won’t leave voluntarily unless it serves them. This is my home so I’m not leaving however I’m working on steps on how to thrive during this situation and build my life around the trauma/drama.
If you can prevent being in a relationship with one of these troubled people Please Do- run fast, block them immediately and don’t make eye contact and don’t tell them anything intimidate or personal about yourself-- they will use it against you
When you’re sick, it takes your attention away from them and more on yourself. That enrages them and sets it off
Good point.
Years ago, I didn't know what narcissism was, or what I was in for. It's frightening to think of being very ill and having no one, although we live in the same house.
My fear exactly.
Years ago mass media did not allow any talk or discussion of this subject!!
Thank you for addressing this. I could never understand what was wrong with a person who literally ignored me and even got angry when I was suffering. Sick.
My (ex) narcissist dumped me after 3 years together when I had the flu and said no to driving his drunk ass home late at night. Best thing that ever happened to me 😊
Secondly its true about the sex thing. The worse i felt the more he wanted to have sex.
Thirdly I got sick so much after I started being in a relationship with a narcissist. I aged at least 10 years in 3 years and when I wasn't actually ill I was drained and worn out by his theatrics and instability. Narcissists take a toll on your body, sadly.
I can relate to this. Even one day I was supposed to meet him after his work shift and I rang him saying I didn't know what to do because I put wrong my contact lense and it went somehow at the back of the eye and I got scared the living sh*t of me and he was like whay you want me to do. Some other days I couldn't say I felt sick because it was like I always had to be okay. Now after all the shit he put me through is giving me silent treatment, gaslighting while on Tinder. I cannot go to the house we shared as it belongs to his parents. I'm 35 and my life is a total mess and destroyed. Mentally drained but I have to book that flight to a new country to get my life back... I need to find the strenght. Back to my parents house, I haven't left my room for more than a week since he will not reply or answer to give me the explanation I need.
@@lauralau1377, I don't have advice but just wanted to say I'm so sorry and I hope you are able to get to your folks' house soon, if you haven't already. God Bless.
He’ll never give you the answer you need, because he would have to “out” himself, and faults or failures cannot be admitted. Everything will always be your fault in his nasty little mind. You can do this; prayers!
Thank you Kevin for sheding light on this much needed and misunderstood topic!
One month after my father died, I awoke in the night weeping. I instinctively knew to not grieve in front of my (now ex) husband who would become annoyed, as he often did with people and moments that weren't him-focused. As to not disturb him, I moved to a chair in the living room. He came in and coldly told me to "Get over it already, it's been a month." And this was him in a relatively good mood. In another incident, he physically hurt me, resulting in a concussion & injuries to my neck and retina, to which his only reaction was to slam his fist and say, "I knew God wouldn't let me get away with that one." With no concern or remorse, it was all about him. It took a few years, but as I matured I was able to close that chapter.
I have an incurable and immensely painful nerve disease. My sister and mother act like I don’t have anything wrong with me. I can barely walk, they act like they can’t even remember what’s wrong with me. When they get sick it’s like a drama show. So needy and yet have no empathy for me. I am so out, grey rock to no contact.
Great video! Thank you for this topic! My narcs in my life, never considered my health, I remember driving myself as a grown woman to an emergency room myself! I had an almost deadly miscarriage, needed emergency surgery and both the husband and the mother acted like I was just wanting attention, so they both had no empathy. That was the time I began to plan my exit! So glad that is all behind me!
I’m so sorry 😢 I can relate in my own way. I’ve had to drive myself to the ER on a couple occasions and my narc parents used to shame me, blame me and severely neglect me due to my chronic conditions - that I’m still to this day trying to heal and have been dealing with for years. Best decision I’ve made is going no contact. There’s been grief for sure, but also a lot of relief. I’m glad you got out too! Big hugs to you, take good care 🩷
When I had the flu my wife was texted me that its bs Im in bed. When I had my ankle reconstructed from an injury she said I wasnt doing enough around the house 2 days out from my surgery. Narcs are monsters.
It took me having Breast Cancer to realize how true this is!
I took my mother to my first Dr appointment and she made it all about her. Years of hearing, “I wish there was something I could do” from people when they expect me to stop living my life to to cater to them.
Same herewith my 2 sisters. All a out them
Same here, have a terminal illness and family has abandoned me because I am no longer of use to them, even though I was there for them for decades @@anneking2631
While having a stroke in ER he disappeared. The stranger comforted me.
Maybe the stranger was a Angel in disguise
This is so true. It can be very confusing when one pretends to care for the show but does not help or care behind the closed door. I’m so happy I’m out of that unhealthy relationship that lasted 10+ years. I got the best out of him.. precious son who, thank God, is a very caring person.
I had longterm stomach problems related to having too much cortisol in my system, which gave me gas in my teens.
Upon asking my mother (the aggressor) if I could go to the hospital for it, I would get a "sighhh... you're okaayyyyy..."
It went away as soon as I got her out of my life, along with many other problems.
Don't wait to do it unless you absolutely have no other choice. Abuse like this can cause lifelong illness.
When I was really sick and I couldn’t do stuff around the house they said to me angrily “well stuff still needs to get done.” So instead of helping for a few days I was doing it all still and I could barely breathe with bronchitis.
Oh, I can relate to that! If my ex was sick, then he didn't have to do anything. But if *I* was sick.....I had to do EVERYTHING!
I've been married to a narcissist for 47 years. We've certainly had our ups and downs and lived through a couple traumatic illnesses. I've learned a lot. Thank you for educating the public. It helps. I've learned to calmly, cheerfully call his behaviors out. I got help which has given me the strength to do this.
Complained about pain for years growing up only for it to be dismissed and ignored by my mother... When I first got my diagnosis, I was alone.
And had no support. My mom was too busy at a FESTIVAL, didn't even believe the diagnosis to be true. And had to go to the doctors with me the second time to validated with the neurologist that I had Multiple sclerosis at 25 yrs old. I've received little/no help from her in last 9 years since diagnosis. Too much of a burden and a hindrance to her exciting plans.
#1 is my Mother exactly in every way!!
This is my mother. Silver lining is she revealed herself to the world so I got support from my community AND to sever my relationship with her! Yesterday marked 3 years no contact. I call it my re-birthday🎉🥳
I have dreamed of doing this with my narc mother. She’s getting on in years so I will just bide my time.
Bet you had a day full of bliss. 😂🎉
No 3 was my mother. She always had to look good to everyone. She always tried to control me but I was very independent but however I repeated the relationship dynamic by having narcisstic boyfriends until I woke up. I am notvweak, ill, I'm sensitive to my surroundigs and other people. Now with knowledge, waking up and with this beautiful sensitivity I can see through a lot of people's behaviours and situations and now I have healthy boundaries.
Thank you Kevin
Here's a great example....actually, a couple of examples. I was very good at attracting narcs. The one that stands out the most is the one I was with the longest. He proved who he was more than once, and this began only 4 months into our "situationship" when I was still living in Florida, we went to Universal Studios. He knew I would never ride a coaster that would go upside down....it's just not something I've ever liked. I had no problem with tamer coasters that didn't invert. We're standing in line for....Rockin' Roller Coaster. There's a dad and his son standing in line behind us. I asked my situationship if the ride indeed would invert, and he smiled, lied and told me "no" while signaling the dad behind us NOT to reveal that he was lying to me. I caught it, but didn't want to believe he'd lie to me. I found out the hard way a bit later when I went to my doctor for neck pain. The doc looked at my results and then at me, and asked, "Have you been in a car wreck recently?" "No, why?" "Because you have a whiplash"......wait, it gets better.....a short time after this, while I was riding a newly purchased "Trikke"(which I got a refund for) I tore my achilles... completely ruptured - right achilles....I drove to my place with the injury and while driving, situationship called me, I didn't say exactly what happened, but he said sarcastically, "did you hurt yourself?!" his tone was like how could you be so stupid.... my response -"Um, I'll call you when I get to my place, I have to be careful right now as I drive, because I'm in a bit of pain"......from that point on, I drove MYSELF to my orthopedic doctor for treatments....I taught myself to drive "lefty" for about a year....I didn't break up with the loser right away after this injury....this speaks volumes of the lack of self respect and value I didn't have for myself at that time, but I did dump him about a month after. Every doc appointment I drove to...."lefty"....I did on my own. He never once offered to help drive me anywhere even to my doc appointments, and through the whole healing process, I continued to work. I know this is a long winded comment, but if it helps anyone who may be going through something similar or even worse, that's why I'm posting this. God was with me the whole time waiting for me to return to Him. He's patient and loving but will not force Himself ever on any of us. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.
The hard times made me a better person and to NOT tolerate toxic behavior from others. Those who mean us harm actually teach us to be stronger over time, but let's not make it a lifelong habit to attract the scum of the earth to learn from.
Thank you Kevin, for your channel and for helping others. God Bless.
Thank you so much ... 🙏😅
Keep safe ... 🎉
I've been diagnosed with incurable blood cancer (Multiple Myeloma). Both known narcissists, one coworker said I was just trying to make her look bad, another said I was loving the attention (I was actually in isolation and had minimal contact with anyone). My boyfriend of four years ghosted me upon hearing from someone (not me, I was still hospital pretty much unconscious). The good news is that when you are terminally ill, you don't give these people a second thought so their deliberate attempts to hurt me failed miserably.
Sending love and blessings your way.
@@boy_with_apfel thank you
My husband always takes care of me when I’m sick. He’s amazing. I do the same for him. I go into high gear when he needs anything.
Same. My father is the narc in my life but somehow i managed to marry an amazing man.