*4 Situations where it is permissible to cut ties with your relatives (assuming you warned them before cutting ties): 1) Cutting relationship will make him stop from doing major sins; 2) Relative who commits shirk and does sehr (black magic); letting him in will ruin your household; 3) Family members who causes harm to your deen or a bad influence; 4) Connecting with them will cause harm that you cannot bear. *Punishments of those who cut ties unreasonably: 1) Deprived of mercy of Allah on the judgment day; 2) All good deeds are on hold until kinship is restored; 3) Allah will disconnect from him; 4) He will not enter Jannah. *Rewards of a Waasel (one who still connects even if he is disconnected by his relatives): 1) You are performing an ibadah; 2) It is a means of entering into Jannah; 3) Allah will continue to support you as long as you keep connecting with them; 4) His life and rizq will be extended and increased respectively.
Jazak Allah Khairan. It is hard when you are cut off and clearly not wanted in their lives. May Allah Make it easy for us to know and do what would please Him in every circumstance. Ameen.
This is my situation presently with my siblings. Its difficult for me to keep reaching out to people who hate me and won't even respond. By Allah if i meet my brother on his dying bed, i will tell him he cheated me in this world and i wish Allah will exact retribution for me wherever we will meet again
There are family members which have violated the trust which Allah (swt) has places and in this instance u have no obligation towards them. Meaning if a family member sexually assaults. If someone has physically or mentally abused u and it has caused great harm. Islam doesn’t require u to put urself in harm or danger to protect the ties of the womb. This falls under the last category.
@@curious6678 Cutting off a relative is a major sin in Islam, so the things which rise to the level of being allowed to cut them off is a very high threshold indeed. But, for example sake if you have a family member who has physically abused you or sexually abused you the harm & risk of harm to maintain that relationship outweighs any benefit. If they get access for example to your children or u urself a far greater calamity and sin may occur. Allah (swt) will burden no soul greater than it can bare. Allah (swt) does not wish for agony like this for his servants. So, it falls into one of the 4 categories the Shariah allows as permissible. If say someone insults u out of anger and it is a one time incident, this may not rise to the level of cutting off the ties of the womb/kinship. But, if a father sexually abused his daughter then this is outhoubillah a right of hers to cut off the tie. Because in Islam there is justice as well.
@@curious6678 Surah Luqman 31:15 that Allah (swt) requires obedience to ones parents in most regards except in what is disobedience to Allah (swt). This tells us that primary relationship is to Allah (swt) first and foremost and supersedes all others. If a father, mother, or whoever has broken the breach of trust that Allah (swt) has given to them, ur duty is to Allah (swt) first and foremost in this case. U treat people in kindness and sometimes kindness means to preserve ur own peace and dignity which requires that u sever a tie which under normal circumstances would never be cut. Severe Harm is one of the 4 categories the Shariah which rises to the level which allows u to cut off the tie. But, I didn’t want to mince words because in Islam people should know their rights and the rights of others upon them.
May Allah SWT reward you greatly sheikh. This topic is so important. Especially when we are separated from our relatives over long distances. It's easy to find excuses for ignoring our relatives.
We Muslims never touch on difficult subjects truly in depth, this video is one of them, we constantly paddle around walking on egg shells, there is real unjust parents out there and Muslim boys and girls who have become men and woman have endured years of manipulation, lies, deciet, unjust remarks, verbal and physical abuse by mothers and fathers, yet you never touch these subjects always tread lightly, leave it for the psychologists because Muslim leaders either don't have the capacity to open discussion and really put some parents actions in the lime light or we brush it under that rug let the other social services take care of it which many times results in Muslims leaving and stepping away from their community, this great community. Well it was, no longer is, كانت past tense. We suffer what any other community suffers, so talk about it! What happens with unjust parents who manipulate the religion and only threaten you with Allah said you must obey, or mother mother mother, when the mother is responsible for 20+ years of abuse, to her daughter, her grandchildren and constantly breaks her daughter's marriages up? Yes multiple?? No we cannot discuss these we embarrass ourselves right?
Your initial statements is an unfair assessment and I suggest you shift to a more positive outlook on life than the clearly negative disposition you have, after there is no pessimism in Islam. Who determines what is physical or verbal abuse and to what degree? What exactly is regarded as unjust in a parent’s actions, something that significantly subjective in nature 🤯🤯🤯 You seem to have a personal experience to resolve and when did making family decisions by committee ever helped anyone🤯🤯🤯 The Sheikh even stated if it’s a situation that causes you harm, then you are allowed to sever ties but always offer advice 😎😎😎
@@pheeqzie please have some empathy after all we don't know many of the evil things that some unfortunate brothers and sisters experience in this world at the hands of those who should take care of them
Some inlaws think that the husband and his family are now only important people and your own family are not important to keep relationships with. You have to take permission to see your own parents
Unfortunately there are many family members who cause mental harm to each other! Then it becomes too difficult to keep up with the family ties and you have to cut ties just so that you can look after your children and husband properly. Also mental stress from the arguments increases the risk of developing some illness such as high blood pressure and depression ect.
I converted to Islam 33 years ago and my family/ elderly mom are Christian. I advised them with Dawah and they mock me behind my back. I don’t feel comfortable around my own mother and Islam makes me feel very guilty for staying away from her. My father and mother abused me emotionally and physically so I continue to stay away from her (he died) Oh Allah Forgive me please Ameen
Alhamdulillah. Jazakallah ustadh for this wonderful reminder. May Allah accept all the duas you make for us. Ameen. Live long dear brother biidhnillah. Ameen thuma ameen
JazakAllah Khair, Ustadh. 16:20 helped me to forgive someone, by the help of Allah, I was truly finding difficulty in forgiving because of the harm she has caused upon my family and upon other families. May Allah guide me and her.
What about when your own sibling doesn’t want to connect with you and has lied about you countless times, slandered your name. I still gave chances but these behaviours continued. I really pray I do not get sin for having distanced myself (after many years of trying) and not trying to be in touch anymore because I genuinely fear for my emotional safety as well as what comes with that slander. Please let me know if I am in sin. 🥺 It has been one of my life’s greatest tests. SubhanAllah.
@Leader Leads Chats well said. They just give rigid opinions with no regard to the damage to a person's mental health caused by relatives. Plus what if you have a very big family. How can you keep intouch with every single person? Who will do your household chores if you are always on phone calls.
Same here ! I just moved to usa staying in my sisters house and she has been treating me miserably and slandering me. My heart is broken and I've never cried this much .
@@sufiazaman2090 My heart goes out to you so much! Just remember that this is a test but to find your emotional safety somewhere in there too. May Allah bless you with immense ease. Ameen.
@@amnahaque9058 Kindly ask scholars what is meant by keeping family ties. Did the Ustadh mention being on the phone daily? Respect the ruling of the religion and learn about what it entails.
السلآم عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته إني أحبك في الله الصلاه والسلام على رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم تقبل آلله منا ومنكم صالح الأعمال MAY ALLAH GRANT US unity in fmly& BROTHERS AND SISTERS & fulfil ONE ANOTHER NEEDS AAMEEN LOVE YOU FOR ALLAH'S PLEASURE um EBRAHIM SOUTH AFRICA
I was sexually abused by my brother and my father as a child and my mother didn’t believe me and told family members that I am a liar. My mother is also a narcissist. I have sometimes thought of taking my life. I want to cut ties with my family. But my deen and imam is stopping me from cutting ties. It has now come to time where I must make the decision to protect myself and my children.
Cut ties sister! Weve cut it out too. If they dont change you have no choice. They will affect your mental health Allah doesnt want us to hurt ourselves right ? stay far away from them. My hell deserving relatives did so much bad to us my mother and siblings and after forgiving, now they still do it and we cut ties, to protect ourself and our deen/iman. Stay away from bad people incl blood family
How do you do ? I tried for the sake of Allah but she is so narsty unless I agree with her dirty behavior and give her what she need ( classic with narcissist) she will fall into a rage . A rage where she will speak extremely bad from her mouth will try to hurt me by swearing and at my father( that is dead) Or will turn my sibling that are also violent narcissist against me again so they can beat me up . My brothers are the most immoral people you would come across . Where cheating and beating is praised by my mother , they do haram money and she is okay .but me?? Ooh she want me to be in the deen just so I can cover myself and not attract any man . Thats it . We never grew up with islam . People realise how sick they are in their head I keep leaving my salat because of the fact I have to keep co tact I know im depressed but I feel angry at Allah because I have to keep contact with a person that disgust me to the core
My sister in Islam you must get away from these people. Do not let them harm you or your children. Definitely seek counselling. Also you can message them twice a year on eid for example saying Eid Mubarak. May a Allah guide you. This will enable you to maintain ties of kinship. You don’t have to be close.
Cute ties! This is a risk for your sanity. Those people are not your family they evil shayatiin cut your ties as soon as possible please❤️ I hope you will be ok I’m sorry you had to go through that
cut ties with any family who is causing you harm. They have already caused you harm so stay away from them please. Don't listen to these people who had good family members who did not cause harm to them, they don't understand the mental trauma you went through sister. Please stay away from these toxic people.
Your way of explaining is very good. Just one thing, what do you do in a situation where relatives become too demanding of your time? If you text them, they consider it , not enough, and constantly expect you to make phone calls? This goes back to the time I was doing a course, and managing household chores. Not everyone is a multitasker. I found it difficult to handle so much at the same time. I hadn't severed tied, I just didn't have time for phone calls, and by the way those phone calls with women family members are not 5 minute calls. They talk and talk and talk. Even politely explaining them didn't work and they would not understand my problem. That was the time I developed severe anxiety about phone calls ☹. It's a fact that relatives are capable of damaging your mental health. Anybody here with anxiety and overthinking problem like me will understand. I haven't severed ties in my opinion. I still think the best for them but I keep a distance for the sake of my mental health. May Allah forgive me for my short comings.
Hours and hours of talk can never be without backbiting. It is strictly forbidden for Muslims so give it up entirely and constantly remind them to give it up as well. Take drastic measures if they continue even after that, like hang up as soon as they start talking about others. They'll stop calling you themselves or they'll give up that bad habit Both ways will be a win situation for you bi iznillah Even if they start backbiting against you for improving
1 - Whoever says SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi (Glory be to Allah and Praise Him) a hundred times during the day, his sins are wiped away, even if they are like the foam of the sea [Sahih al-Bukhari; #7:168, Sahih Muslim; #4:2071] 2 - whoever says SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi, Subhan-Allahi 'l-`adheem (Glory be to Allah, and Praise, Glory be to Allah, the Supreme) Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Two words are light on the tongue, weigh heavily in the balance, they are loved by the Most Merciful One " [Sahih al-Bukhari; #7:67, Sahih Muslim, #4:2071] 4
Amo i love you for Allahs sake wish i can offer you tea and gift your family. May Allah grant you every Khair, and protect you from every harm Allahuma Ameen.
I tried 😪 after mum passed away 😢 all my cousin cutt off with me because I'm not rich or clever in the family. I got angry but I apologise too Allah swt for my anger and Said istaghfar. I was born and raised in England and there in Pakistan. Sone relationship only see if you got money sadly. There are some relatives who don't want see each other or talk so we just waiting. I'm struggling with my older brother his married . And even my wife left me two years ago going through divorce.
Sometimes these lectures don't take into account a person's mental health. Meeting relatives who taunt you, judge you for your clothes , get jealous if you are doing well, you need nerves of steel to keep contact with such people. In this case I will cry and ask Allah to forgive me for not being able to deal with such people.
@@amnahaque9058 Absolutely, sometimes your own sisters drive you into suicidal thoughts. The could be so toxic that the mere thought of their existence gives of you anxiety attacks. It is impossible to do silah rehmi with such people. Thats why have chosen to break ties with them. I will ask Allah to forgive for this sin becuase I am unable to handle the mental trauma and depression they give to me. Why these scholars totally disregard peoples mental health.
What if you are always the one to keep family ties but they never reciprocate? even if they might fall in one of those 4 categories and you cannot warn them because they (safety in numbers) will overpower you in such a manner that you can never tell them when they are wrong? How will it then be possible to warn such mindsets who continuously only find fault with you, base their judgments in preconceived notions and accuse you without proof? What then?
May Allah make it easy for you. I understand what you mean. Do your best. You have the right to give up on what you are doing if they are really toxic.Those wrongdoers will get what they deserve.
Aslm Ustadh, How do I hold kinship with a family that considers you as the cause of all their problems. I go but they treat me very bad and hurt my kids? They don't talk to me
Jazakum Allahu Khairan Shaikh. But what if your relatives do not want to have anything to do with you and purposely ostracize you? How can you impose or humiliate yourself in such a situation? Realistically, how long can you persist or continue like that? There must be a reasonable and sane limit. In such circumstances, it may be wise and best to keep away in order to avoid further escalation and damage. This grievous situation is highly prevalent in the West. Allah's swt instruction is absolutely clear: "Fazkuruni azkurkum..." Relationship is a mutual TWO-WAY street. It's that simple. Allah swt is All- Knowing and Just and will not punish you for something that is NOT your fault.
Yes...ALLAH SWT IS just and surely He knows best and will never punish us for no fault of ours....He knows our intentions...whereas people can only judge by the actions...
Why is it so that whenever they speak on this matter, they ignore the fact that relatives are capable of destroying your mental health!!!!! How can you continue meeting people who make you feel uncomfortable, taunt you or judge you for your clothes??? You need nerves of steel to tolerate their hurtful remarks. And I don't have nerves of steel. I think in this case we should just ask Allah for forgiveness.
My father has re married and has become estranged, I tried to visit him and told him I'm coming on such and such day at a specific day and time and he hid from me. So am I still going to get punished for keeping away?
Sadly it's common and so long as your doing your part to establish a connection and attempt to preserve that tie then your doing the right thing and will be rewarded inshallah be that via electronic communication or talking on the phone rather than turning up. As for any parent be that a mother or father who disowns or avoids their own children for whatever selfish reason, may Allah have mercy on them because the hellfire awaits such people who abandon their own blood until such time that they repent and rekindle their responsibility and position of parenthood
What if it's your own parents who are abusive to the extent it's threatening your existence and deen? And you already tried for years to make things work.
Well explained Shaikh...May Allah reward you immensely! What about the relatives who are jealous & evil & don't want to see us getting married or be successful in our life and they keep doing black magic to destroy us ! Please suggest ...
Stay away from them! Me my mother and siblings stay away from our hell deserving relatives because they did so much bad to us.. we cut ties with them and alhamdolillah they cant do bad to us. Weve forgiven them several times but they still do bad/evil so we cut it out forever and in the after life may Allah punish them! Ameen🤲 What they did to us hopefully Allah will give the same to them and their kids ameen 🤲
Punishment for those who cut ties with relatives Unnecessarily (don't like them). 1. Deprived of Allah's MERCY on the Day of Judgment. 2. Allah swt will DISCONNECT with him. 3. He will NOT 🚫 ENTER Jannah. 4. All good deeds performed will be ON HOLD until kinship is RESTORED.
What if my siblings keep disrespecting my mother, pushing her out of the house, blaming things on her, etc? Always, argumentative, and leading me to anxiety, rashes, and even loss of my job because of stress?
First evaluate carefully if it's your sibling who is wrong or your mother. Most of the times, it's usually both. And you need to bridge the gap between them. Also you have an individual relationship with your sibling and your mother. And just because they don't have good relationship with your mother doesn't mean you also have a bad relationship with them.
Sehikh i love your videos Ma'sha'Allah Tabarakallah. Could you kindly make clear which type of socks people can do masaa on to perform wudu...Do the socks have to be durable to walk a mile or can it be any cotton/Nylon/polyester make
Assalamualaikum..i have been in a toxic relationship for almost 4 decades...but have always tried to put up with everything hoping not to earn ALLAHS wrath...but now my health is getting affected and i am going into a depression...so fir the sole purpose of preserving my sanity and being able to do my ibadah i have moved away from these toxic people...will Allah be angry with me?? I am confused..please help
Maybe this comes under the fourth category of (almost) cutting ties? You sound like you have tried your best. It might be better to minimise contact but not cut ties totally - contact thems but now only occasionally and keep your guard. Easier said than done, I know! You can pray for them. Keep your adab and respect but minimise their negative energy if it is wearing you down. Another way to help yourself deal with this, is to increase your spiritual dhikr. Do more salawat. This will strengthen you and help your situation as well as giving you the correct inspirations on how to deal with that toxic person when you do have to interact. May Allah swt help you in all your endeavours.
@@principlemethods5281 True. That's a valid point . It could just be someone's perception that another person is toxic or the relationship is. However, if that blood relative is causing her to suffer depression and disturbing her to such an extent that her mental health is being affected, or her focus from worship is taken away again and again after interacting with them , then action should be taken. Perhaps not by completely breaking ties, but by being careful and withdrawing from their company etc for the time being. Introspection can then happen with less emotion.
Principlemethods, toxic people are like poison, they can push you to death or crazyness or severe diseases. They are harmful people unable to change, sometimes evil, sometimes with narcistic personality disorder, this is a severe matter.
What about those relatives who just take advantage of you? They be nice to you only because they want something? And never appreciate you, always break your self confidence, make you feel that you are worth nothing indirectly and also sometimes directly
Dear Sheikh, my sister is married to a narcissistic man and to keep him happy ,she has totally cut of relationship with her birth family, her mum,father ,sisters, everyone from her side of the family. When we tried to connect with her ,she went to relatives houses telling them lies and says to tell us to not speak to her, I worry for her, as she has upset her parents , has spread lies and severed ties of kinship, what can we do??
Hlw sheikh there's a sick sister of mine who is mentally ill and her problem is she can communicate with every one else except her child due to misfortune that happened to her and she is asking her child through others to take the blessing and cut ties with her since she is helpless due to her sickness
what if im trying to see my relatives after multiple years but its mentally so hard for me because i havent see them for such a long time? im making dua and ask allah to make me stronger to do this but im scared to die in that condition on any time while im asking him, does he forgive while im trying?
I am not talking to my brother until and unless he goes with his family and stays with my mother. I pray for him and want the best for him but at the same time I have taken a stand so that my mother does not suffer living alone in old age. If I talk to him then he will think it is ok to leave your mother and let her live alone. I have no I'll feeling for him but I just want he should go and live with mother. Dont know if this is a sin but then what to do
My family has lied to me alot in my life aswell as sometimes force me to do stuff I don't wanna do. Untill I was 13 my mom hired people to spy on me when I went outside and could see everything I did online which they didnt tell me untill I was 12. This has caused me great harm as these things have Made me creat a hatred for this family aswell as not making me able to trust them with anything. Am I allowed to cut ties with them? (Planned to do it since 13 but need clearance to know if it's haram or not).
Cutting ties with family members specially female members is a middle eastern thing. They shame the woman for the same sin the man makes and then she suffers for her entire life for being cut off the protection of the men of her family. That’s why Allah says cutting ties with family is such a huge sin because it causes catastrophic problems, including that family member being raped or abused by strangers , even sold for slavery! It is a huge sin to cut ties for so many reasons so many things can go wrong when a family member is alienated!
What if ur father is a narcesist and mother is cold als ice/passive. What if ur parents neglected you and physically, mentally abused you , cursed at you, called you al kinds of names. What if you don’t feel any connection ore 0% feelings for ur own mother. What if they gaslighted you ur whole life and you are so confused. What if ur parents stil try to manipulate you and ur wife and children and they don’t respect boundries with my family. What if my parents made me so suicidal only hearing them speak make me vomit. What if i cannot wait for them to pas away and it would be the best day of my life? What if my parents broke my heart, poisioned my heart so much that i cannot wait and die and just get this al over with. And there is alot more. Do i stil have to maintain relationshipt with complete disgusting psyhogpaths? Do i have to drink the poision and just smile and let my whole life crumble and meaby one die i would take my life? Tel me internet sheikh, tel me please
Allah tells us to be kind towards parents at any cost but that doesn't mean you and your family suffer the pain. Also also tells us to forgive others and don't carry the pain and hurt with you all life. We are all tested in this Dunya and one of the major tests is mentally abusive parents. It's better for you to forgive and be dutiful to your parents but if you fear harm, disconnect for some time and then see if Allah has given them guidance. Disconnecting does not mean cutting ties, it's protecting yourself with the hope that they will get guidance through disconnection. Forgive them and seek mercy from Allah for yourself and them. If they start treating you better, keep the connection. Allah does not burden a soul which it can't bear.
Thinks are getting complicated in the western society when mother live with daughter instead of son. When mother's life goes down and live in a diaper, problem starts. Because mother needs 24 hrs support. Now sister seeks brother' s help because her husband complains. Now it is hard for sons. Because grand children from son's side did not get that bonding with grandmother, accept Assalamu Alyakum. And son didn't catter his life to look after the mother. I am talking about job issues. When someone live in a house, person becomes the member of the hose with good and bad time. But when suddenly dropped then big adjustment needed. Can son do the job or quit the job. How son will maintain his family?
Your 4th reason about harm, does this apply to your mental and physical health being affected? If a relative doesn’t want you in the family and is looking for reasons to break your marriage for years, wouldn’t that be a form of abuse? Especially if you end up with an illness and they still don’t want to know you? Can someone please explain if this is a viable reason?
Do I have to keep relations with relatives that have abused me and continue to abuse me ie physical violence past and racist abuse on going Please advise
Okay so I need to just be verified if I stopped speaking to my female cousin because she is very evil hearted to me I'm supposed to talk to her anyway I mean I have forgiven her for the evil things that she has said and done to me and I will not ignore her if she talks to me but we do not speak at this point so am I in the wrong will I have the curse of Allah on me
If its safer to maintain contact via text or email then your doing your part inshallah and Allah knows best according to your and her personal situation, intentions, and ability
Ameen. What if my sister follows christianisme and my new is Also not Muslim n living without Nikah with her boyfriend? She keep asking to come to her house but I kee refusing as there will be no Islamic values there? But on the other hand I feel like am doing a sin for refusing her. I keep in touch only by phone that’s all. Please answer my question am so confused.
@Ustadh Mohamad Baajour -- If Durood e Ibrahim (the best of duas one can make and is an integral part of salah) states Allahumma SalliAlaa Muhamammad Wala Aalihi Muhammad .... and so on -- My Question is :::::Why should we hesitate in saying Salallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasalam when saying durood after speaking or hearing Prophet SA's name. Why do we ignore saying salaam on Rasul SA's Aal everytime when we have to say Allahu Aliahi Wasalam? I am a sunni muslim and am not posing this questions from a sectarian context. I believe that we are all muslims except those who deny Allah and his Prophet SA.
When is it allowed to cut ties with relatives? 1. Cutting ✂️ ties with that person will make them STOP 🛑 committing MAJOR SINS 2. If they are committing SHIRK/BLACK MAGIC (Letting them in will ruin your household) 3. Family members who cause HARM/extremely BAD INFLUENCE to your religion. 4. Family members that cause unbearable HARM/THREAT.
Dear sheikh if someone has had enough and now he's suffering and his household is getting disturbed even the husband is annoyed and the people doing this are your parents and brothers and relatives should in Islam we suffer till we die and does everyone have nerves of steel to be treated badly what if his health is at risk I don't understand I'm confused I have seen many videos you say the same thing don't cut ties but how about you start making videos were you tell parents who are unjust and brothers who are evil what's going to happen to them especially parents who are hurting their children in so many ways instead of the other way around
It’s a story of most of Asian citizens 😔😔😔😔… once the daughter gets married, they start to alienate her in a very hurtful manner yet expecting so much from her and even her husband who is an outsider… this leads to a stressed and strained relationship between the two parties and unfortunately, she is the one to take all the brunt alone😔😔
Assalamualaikum Shaikh, I appreciate your lecture until you get to the part about freely giving permission to cut family ties after explaining it is a great sin and Allah will cut off those who sever ties with kin. Anyone could find an excuse to cut relations if e.g. someone listens to music or you feel he or she will weaken your faith because if how he or she talks or acts. In the Holy Quran the ayah warns not to cut relations, but doesn't say unless you give a warning about something the relative is doing and they refuse to stop, then it's ok. Where is the ayah or sahih hadith to back up the 4 permissions you grant for cutting relations? Rasullulah's uncle Abu Talib remained a pagan and still he stayed close to him his whole life despite thr fact he never accepted Islam . Why didn't he set an example by cutting relations with him I think it's very dangerous saying you can cut relations with kin in 4 instances and offering no scholarly proof for the 4 situations. Please give a specific ayah or sahih hadith that backs up your 4 permissions. Jazakala
This is incorrect, Abu Talib were a muslim, protected the Holy Prophet sallahu alahi wa ahle wasalam, wrote poetry praising the Holy Prophet, also are the father of Hazrat Ali, and Paternal grandfather of Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain ( Peace be upon them all). The Holy Prophet sallahu alahi wa ahle wasalam were also so saddened by the passing away of Abu Talib.
They weaken me, doung good and no one is appreciated, geeat sense of entitlement. Can build up resentment, especially if there is mental, physical and emotional abuse. Let us please address this shyaton is dread
My late mother was abused by her own son for over 30 years. After my mother's death, the abuse shifted to my father. They isolated him, cut off his friends, stolen his things, constantly abuse him. I found hidden cameras and taveez in my parentshouse. Now they want to throw him in an old people's home. I have nothing to do with them. They have the worst laanat on their faces. I only wish a lonely horrible end for them.
*4 Situations where it is permissible to cut ties with your relatives (assuming you warned them before cutting ties):
1) Cutting relationship will make him stop from doing major sins;
2) Relative who commits shirk and does sehr (black magic); letting him in will ruin your household;
3) Family members who causes harm to your deen or a bad influence;
4) Connecting with them will cause harm that you cannot bear.
*Punishments of those who cut ties unreasonably:
1) Deprived of mercy of Allah on the judgment day;
2) All good deeds are on hold until kinship is restored;
3) Allah will disconnect from him;
4) He will not enter Jannah.
*Rewards of a Waasel (one who still connects even if he is disconnected by his relatives):
1) You are performing an ibadah;
2) It is a means of entering into Jannah;
3) Allah will continue to support you as long as you keep connecting with them;
4) His life and rizq will be extended and increased respectively.
This brother has Nour all over his face. I love him for the sake of Allah.
This video motivated me to reconnect with my family members jazak allah khir !
Ya mujeeb provide my husband with a very good job ameen and make things easier for us all ameen ya hayyu ya qayyum
Ameen ya Rahman’s ya Rahim
Say that in ur dua not in the comment section
Ameen thuma ameen
Aameen May Allah bless you in all aspects of life.
Ameen
My family rejects me and abuses me but Allah knows that and I trust he knows my heart and that I need to escape 😢 inshallah
Jazak Allah Khairan. It is hard when you are cut off and clearly not wanted in their lives. May Allah Make it easy for us to know and do what would please Him in every circumstance. Ameen.
This is my situation presently with my siblings. Its difficult for me to keep reaching out to people who hate me and won't even respond. By Allah if i meet my brother on his dying bed, i will tell him he cheated me in this world and i wish Allah will exact retribution for me wherever we will meet again
There are family members which have violated the trust which Allah (swt) has places and in this instance u have no obligation towards them. Meaning if a family member sexually assaults. If someone has physically or mentally abused u and it has caused great harm. Islam doesn’t require u to put urself in harm or danger to protect the ties of the womb. This falls under the last category.
'Allah' bestow Goodness you
Jazak'Allah khair.
May I know the daleel please
@@curious6678 Cutting off a relative is a major sin in Islam, so the things which rise to the level of being allowed to cut them off is a very high threshold indeed. But, for example sake if you have a family member who has physically abused you or sexually abused you the harm & risk of harm to maintain that relationship outweighs any benefit. If they get access for example to your children or u urself a far greater calamity and sin may occur. Allah (swt) will burden no soul greater than it can bare. Allah (swt) does not wish for agony like this for his servants.
So, it falls into one of the 4 categories the Shariah allows as permissible. If say someone insults u out of anger and it is a one time incident, this may not rise to the level of cutting off the ties of the womb/kinship. But, if a father sexually abused his daughter then this is outhoubillah a right of hers to cut off the tie. Because in Islam there is justice as well.
@@curious6678 Surah Luqman 31:15 that Allah (swt) requires obedience to ones parents in most regards except in what is disobedience to Allah (swt). This tells us that primary relationship is to Allah (swt) first and foremost and supersedes all others. If a father, mother, or whoever has broken the breach of trust that Allah (swt) has given to them, ur duty is to Allah (swt) first and foremost in this case. U treat people in kindness and sometimes kindness means to preserve ur own peace and dignity which requires that u sever a tie which under normal circumstances would never be cut. Severe Harm is one of the 4 categories the Shariah which rises to the level which allows u to cut off the tie. But, I didn’t want to mince words because in Islam people should know their rights and the rights of others upon them.
May Allah SWT reward you greatly sheikh. This topic is so important. Especially when we are separated from our relatives over long distances. It's easy to find excuses for ignoring our relatives.
i enjoy these detailed responses, not everything is black and white
May Allah accept all your good deeds may Allah forgive all your sins and our sins may Allah bless your family your wealth and your health
SubhaanAllah explained very well. May Allah AWJ reward you immensely Aameen
Aameen
Aameen
❤❤❤ love this imam.
We Muslims never touch on difficult subjects truly in depth, this video is one of them, we constantly paddle around walking on egg shells, there is real unjust parents out there and Muslim boys and girls who have become men and woman have endured years of manipulation, lies, deciet, unjust remarks, verbal and physical abuse by mothers and fathers, yet you never touch these subjects always tread lightly, leave it for the psychologists because Muslim leaders either don't have the capacity to open discussion and really put some parents actions in the lime light or we brush it under that rug let the other social services take care of it which many times results in Muslims leaving and stepping away from their community, this great community. Well it was, no longer is, كانت past tense. We suffer what any other community suffers, so talk about it! What happens with unjust parents who manipulate the religion and only threaten you with Allah said you must obey, or mother mother mother, when the mother is responsible for 20+ years of abuse, to her daughter, her grandchildren and constantly breaks her daughter's marriages up? Yes multiple?? No we cannot discuss these we embarrass ourselves right?
👍🏻👍🏻
Your initial statements is an unfair assessment and I suggest you shift to a more positive outlook on life than the clearly negative disposition you have, after there is no pessimism in Islam.
Who determines what is physical or verbal abuse and to what degree? What exactly is regarded as unjust in a parent’s actions, something that significantly subjective in nature 🤯🤯🤯
You seem to have a personal experience to resolve and when did making family decisions by committee ever helped anyone🤯🤯🤯
The Sheikh even stated if it’s a situation that causes you harm, then you are allowed to sever ties but always offer advice 😎😎😎
alhamdulillah Allah knows what is in our hearts ❤
@@pheeqzie please have some empathy after all we don't know many of the evil things that some unfortunate brothers and sisters experience in this world at the hands of those who should take care of them
Ya Ustadh. You're videos are infinitely beneficial. I learn so so much from you everytime. May Allah taala reward you infinitely aameen.
Some inlaws think that the husband and his family are now only important people and your own family are not important to keep relationships with. You have to take permission to see your own parents
Masha Allah beautiful lecture. May Allah reward you for all you do Aameen. May we meet in Jannah Firdaus Aameen
Unfortunately there are many family members who cause mental harm to each other! Then it becomes too difficult to keep up with the family ties and you have to cut ties just so that you can look after your children and husband properly. Also mental stress from the arguments increases the risk of developing some illness such as high blood pressure and depression ect.
so is it islamically okay?
Even family members are doing sahar on us
Leave these fools, guard and protect yourself or you risk becoming like them. Save yourself.
May Allah reward you abundantly aameen
I converted to Islam 33 years ago and my family/ elderly mom are Christian. I advised them with Dawah and they mock me behind my back. I don’t feel comfortable around my own mother and Islam makes me feel very guilty for staying away from her.
My father and mother abused me emotionally and physically so I continue to stay away from her (he died)
Oh Allah Forgive me please Ameen
So nicely spoken dear Shaikh. Jazakallah Khair, Imam. May Allah bless all your kind deeds. Ameen
I like the lecture very much may Allah bless you.
Very beneficial
Jazak Allah. I needed to be reminded
Jazakallahukhairan. May Allah accept our deeds and forgive us.
Ameen, jazak Allahu khairan for showing good actions🤲🏻
الحمد لله حاضر وجزاكم الله خيرا
Alhamdulillah. Jazakallah ustadh for this wonderful reminder. May Allah accept all the duas you make for us. Ameen. Live long dear brother biidhnillah. Ameen thuma ameen
Jazakallah khair
بارك الله فيكم، جزاك الله خيرًا
Jazak Allaahu Khayran
Allaahumma Aameen to all the Duas!
Alhamdulillah. Best explanations. May Allah grant you peace and tranquillity. Ameen
Jazakum Allah sir.
JazakAllah Khair, Ustadh. 16:20 helped me to forgive someone, by the help of Allah, I was truly finding difficulty in forgiving because of the harm she has caused upon my family and upon other families. May Allah guide me and her.
What about when your own sibling doesn’t want to connect with you and has lied about you countless times, slandered your name. I still gave chances but these behaviours continued. I really pray I do not get sin for having distanced myself (after many years of trying) and not trying to be in touch anymore because I genuinely fear for my emotional safety as well as what comes with that slander. Please let me know if I am in sin. 🥺 It has been one of my life’s greatest tests. SubhanAllah.
@Leader Leads Chats well said.
They just give rigid opinions with no regard to the damage to a person's mental health caused by relatives.
Plus what if you have a very big family. How can you keep intouch with every single person? Who will do your household chores if you are always on phone calls.
Same here ! I just moved to usa staying in my sisters house and she has been treating me miserably and slandering me. My heart is broken and I've never cried this much .
@@sufiazaman2090 My heart goes out to you so much! Just remember that this is a test but to find your emotional safety somewhere in there too. May Allah bless you with immense ease. Ameen.
@@youtubeaccount6934 ameen. JajakAllah khairan. May we all find peace
@@amnahaque9058 Kindly ask scholars what is meant by keeping family ties. Did the Ustadh mention being on the phone daily? Respect the ruling of the religion and learn about what it entails.
Masha allah... The west is producing good ulamas... May allah bless them
السلآم عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته إني أحبك في الله الصلاه والسلام على رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم تقبل آلله منا ومنكم صالح الأعمال
MAY ALLAH GRANT US unity in fmly& BROTHERS AND SISTERS & fulfil ONE ANOTHER NEEDS AAMEEN LOVE YOU FOR ALLAH'S PLEASURE um EBRAHIM SOUTH AFRICA
Jazakallah💝
I was sexually abused by my brother and my father as a child and my mother didn’t believe me and told family members that I am a liar. My mother is also a narcissist. I have sometimes thought of taking my life. I want to cut ties with my family. But my deen and imam is stopping me from cutting ties. It has now come to time where I must make the decision to protect myself and my children.
Cut ties sister! Weve cut it out too. If they dont change you have no choice. They will affect your mental health Allah doesnt want us to hurt ourselves right ? stay far away from them. My hell deserving relatives did so much bad to us my mother and siblings and after forgiving, now they still do it and we cut ties, to protect ourself and our deen/iman. Stay away from bad people incl blood family
How do you do ? I tried for the sake of Allah but she is so narsty unless I agree with her dirty behavior and give her what she need ( classic with narcissist) she will fall into a rage . A rage where she will speak extremely bad from her mouth will try to hurt me by swearing and at my father( that is dead)
Or will turn my sibling that are also violent narcissist against me again so they can beat me up .
My brothers are the most immoral people you would come across .
Where cheating and beating is praised by my mother , they do haram money and she is okay .but me?? Ooh she want me to be in the deen just so I can cover myself and not attract any man . Thats it .
We never grew up with islam .
People realise how sick they are in their head
I keep leaving my salat because of the fact I have to keep co tact
I know im depressed but I feel angry at Allah because I have to keep contact with a person that disgust me to the core
My sister in Islam you must get away from these people. Do not let them harm you or your children. Definitely seek counselling. Also you can message them twice a year on eid for example saying Eid Mubarak. May a Allah guide you. This will enable you to maintain ties of kinship. You don’t have to be close.
Cute ties! This is a risk for your sanity. Those people are not your family they evil shayatiin cut your ties as soon as possible please❤️ I hope you will be ok I’m sorry you had to go through that
cut ties with any family who is causing you harm. They have already caused you harm so stay away from them please. Don't listen to these people who had good family members who did not cause harm to them, they don't understand the mental trauma you went through sister. Please stay away from these toxic people.
Jazaakallah Sheikh
SubhaanAllah, May we listen and apply
Your way of explaining is very good.
Just one thing, what do you do in a situation where relatives become too demanding of your time?
If you text them, they consider it , not enough, and constantly expect you to make phone calls?
This goes back to the time I was doing a course, and managing household chores.
Not everyone is a multitasker. I found it difficult to handle so much at the same time. I hadn't severed tied, I just didn't have time for phone calls, and by the way those phone calls with women family members are not 5 minute calls. They talk and talk and talk.
Even politely explaining them didn't work and they would not understand my problem.
That was the time I developed severe anxiety about phone calls ☹.
It's a fact that relatives are capable of damaging your mental health.
Anybody here with anxiety and overthinking problem like me will understand.
I haven't severed ties in my opinion. I still think the best for them but I keep a distance for the sake of my mental health.
May Allah forgive me for my short comings.
Omg same thing happened to me anxiety and stress
"Allah will not burden us with more than we can bear".
Insha'allah.
Hours and hours of talk can never be without backbiting. It is strictly forbidden for Muslims so give it up entirely and constantly remind them to give it up as well. Take drastic measures if they continue even after that, like hang up as soon as they start talking about others. They'll stop calling you themselves or they'll give up that bad habit
Both ways will be a win situation for you bi iznillah
Even if they start backbiting against you for improving
@@creativeideas012 you are so right.
@@creativeideas012 Hanging up can backfire really quickly. We need to use wisdom.
Alhamdulillah
I think your answer is at: (12:32) in this video.
We pray for you Parasol.
Salaam sheikh masjid as Siddiq
Amin Ya Rabbi
Aameen ya Rabbal Aalameen
1 - Whoever says SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi (Glory be to Allah and Praise Him) a hundred times during the day, his sins are wiped away, even if they are like the foam of the sea [Sahih al-Bukhari; #7:168, Sahih Muslim; #4:2071]
2 - whoever says SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi, Subhan-Allahi 'l-`adheem (Glory be to Allah, and Praise, Glory be to Allah, the Supreme)
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Two words are light on the tongue, weigh heavily in the balance, they are loved by the Most Merciful One " [Sahih al-Bukhari; #7:67, Sahih Muslim, #4:2071]
4
Amo i love you for Allahs sake wish i can offer you tea and gift your family.
May Allah grant you every Khair, and protect you from every harm Allahuma Ameen.
I tried 😪 after mum passed away 😢 all my cousin cutt off with me because I'm not rich or clever in the family. I got angry but I apologise too Allah swt for my anger and Said istaghfar. I was born and raised in England and there in Pakistan. Sone relationship only see if you got money sadly. There are some relatives who don't want see each other or talk so we just waiting. I'm struggling with my older brother his married . And even my wife left me two years ago going through divorce.
Sometimes these lectures don't take into account a person's mental health.
Meeting relatives who taunt you, judge you for your clothes , get jealous if you are doing well, you need nerves of steel to keep contact with such people.
In this case I will cry and ask Allah to forgive me for not being able to deal with such people.
Pray just pray. Tmw the best day for dua..nisfu shaaban
@@amnahaque9058 Absolutely, sometimes your own sisters drive you into suicidal thoughts. The could be so toxic that the mere thought of their existence gives of you anxiety attacks. It is impossible to do silah rehmi with such people. Thats why have chosen to break ties with them. I will ask Allah to forgive for this sin becuase I am unable to handle the mental trauma and depression they give to me. Why these scholars totally disregard peoples mental health.
@@tommy1957100 I agree. They don't seem to understand the importance of mental health.
@@amnahaque9058 Totally
What if you are always the one to keep family ties but they never reciprocate? even if they might fall in one of those 4 categories and you cannot warn them because they (safety in numbers) will overpower you in such a manner that you can never tell them when they are wrong? How will it then be possible to warn such mindsets who continuously only find fault with you, base their judgments in preconceived notions and accuse you without proof? What then?
Pray to allah to guide them and make it easy for you
May Allah make it easy for you. I understand what you mean.
Do your best. You have the right to give up on what you are doing if they are really toxic.Those wrongdoers will get what they deserve.
@@asfaazmy6551 thanks for your encouraging words. Praying for them is the only option.
Aslm Ustadh, How do I hold kinship with a family that considers you as the cause of all their problems. I go but they treat me very bad and hurt my kids? They don't talk to me
Did you get your answer
What about relatives who take your property unlawfully or never fulfill their responsibilities.
Allah ll deal with em
Subhanalla
Jazakum Allahu Khairan Shaikh. But what if your relatives do not want to have anything to do with you and purposely ostracize you? How can you impose or humiliate yourself in such a situation? Realistically, how long can you persist or continue like that? There must be a reasonable and sane limit. In such circumstances, it may be wise and best to keep away in order to avoid further escalation and damage.
This grievous situation is highly prevalent in the West. Allah's swt instruction is absolutely clear: "Fazkuruni azkurkum..." Relationship is a mutual TWO-WAY street. It's that simple. Allah swt is All- Knowing and Just and will not punish you for something that is NOT your fault.
Absolutely... I had th same thing in my mind..
Yes...ALLAH SWT IS just and surely He knows best and will never punish us for no fault of ours....He knows our intentions...whereas people can only judge by the actions...
Why is it so that whenever they speak on this matter, they ignore the fact that relatives are capable of destroying your mental health!!!!!
How can you continue meeting people who make you feel uncomfortable, taunt you or judge you for your clothes???
You need nerves of steel to tolerate their hurtful remarks. And I don't have nerves of steel.
I think in this case we should just ask Allah for forgiveness.
@@amnahaque9058 of course.
@@amnahaque9058 Better to ask scholars about the specific issues InShaAllah
My father has re married and has become estranged, I tried to visit him and told him I'm coming on such and such day at a specific day and time and he hid from me. So am I still going to get punished for keeping away?
Sadly it's common and so long as your doing your part to establish a connection and attempt to preserve that tie then your doing the right thing and will be rewarded inshallah be that via electronic communication or talking on the phone rather than turning up. As for any parent be that a mother or father who disowns or avoids their own children for whatever selfish reason, may Allah have mercy on them because the hellfire awaits such people who abandon their own blood until such time that they repent and rekindle their responsibility and position of parenthood
What if it's your own parents who are abusive to the extent it's threatening your existence and deen? And you already tried for years to make things work.
Cutting ties with parents: I want to know this, too. We should ask people of knowledge, trustworthy.
@@aasiyapowell875 irs best to stay once there dead you regret
You can leave, Allah is not unfair
@@AkramBaig2689you just spoke out of ignorance.
@@nabilc1667like 99% of muslims bro.
Well explained Shaikh...May Allah reward you immensely!
What about the relatives who are jealous & evil & don't want to see us getting married or be successful in our life and they keep doing black magic to destroy us !
Please suggest ...
listen to the last part of the talk please
Stay away from them! Me my mother and siblings stay away from our hell deserving relatives because they did so much bad to us.. we cut ties with them and alhamdolillah they cant do bad to us. Weve forgiven them several times but they still do bad/evil so we cut it out forever and in the after life may Allah punish them! Ameen🤲 What they did to us hopefully Allah will give the same to them and their kids ameen 🤲
Allah❤ is a witness to what they're doing to us.
12:19 4 situations
Punishment for those who cut ties with relatives
Unnecessarily (don't like them).
1. Deprived of Allah's MERCY on the Day of Judgment.
2. Allah swt will DISCONNECT with him.
3. He will NOT 🚫 ENTER Jannah.
4. All good deeds performed will be ON HOLD until kinship is RESTORED.
What if my siblings keep disrespecting my mother, pushing her out of the house, blaming things on her, etc? Always, argumentative, and leading me to anxiety, rashes, and even loss of my job because of stress?
First evaluate carefully if it's your sibling who is wrong or your mother. Most of the times, it's usually both. And you need to bridge the gap between them. Also you have an individual relationship with your sibling and your mother. And just because they don't have good relationship with your mother doesn't mean you also have a bad relationship with them.
Sehikh i love your videos Ma'sha'Allah Tabarakallah.
Could you kindly make clear which type of socks people can do masaa on to perform wudu...Do the socks have to be durable to walk a mile or can it be any cotton/Nylon/polyester make
Assalamualaikum..i have been in a toxic relationship for almost 4 decades...but have always tried to put up with everything hoping not to earn ALLAHS wrath...but now my health is getting affected and i am going into a depression...so fir the sole purpose of preserving my sanity and being able to do my ibadah i have moved away from these toxic people...will Allah be angry with me?? I am confused..please help
Maybe this comes under the fourth category of (almost) cutting ties? You sound like you have tried your best. It might be better to minimise contact but not cut ties totally - contact thems but now only occasionally and keep your guard. Easier said than done, I know!
You can pray for them. Keep your adab and respect but minimise their negative energy if it is wearing you down.
Another way to help yourself deal with this, is to increase your spiritual dhikr. Do more salawat. This will strengthen you and help your situation as well as giving you the correct inspirations on how to deal with that toxic person when you do have to interact.
May Allah swt help you in all your endeavours.
To preserve your mental health and your religion is an obligation in islam
It depends. How are they toxic? What do you mean by toxic? That word is thrown around very loosely these days
@@principlemethods5281
True. That's a valid point . It could just be someone's perception that another person is toxic or the relationship is.
However, if that blood relative is causing her to suffer depression and disturbing her to such an extent that her mental health is being affected, or her focus from worship is taken away again and again after interacting with them , then action should be taken. Perhaps not by completely breaking ties, but by being careful and withdrawing from their company etc for the time being. Introspection can then happen with less emotion.
Principlemethods, toxic people are like poison, they can push you to death or crazyness or severe diseases. They are harmful people unable to change, sometimes evil, sometimes with narcistic personality disorder, this is a severe matter.
What about those relatives who just take advantage of you? They be nice to you only because they want something? And never appreciate you, always break your self confidence, make you feel that you are worth nothing indirectly and also sometimes directly
Act dumb and be nice 😂😂
So does it mean it's ok if my mom doesn't have a connect with my father's brothers and sisters but I have to connect with them
Yes, if it is legit! .... Allah knows best!!
what if these family members are not Muslims and are not really decent people who are living a sinful life?
Shiekh answered this - you advice, and take care of your deen and religious commitment.
Dear Sheikh, my sister is married to a narcissistic man and to keep him happy ,she has totally cut of relationship with her birth family, her mum,father ,sisters, everyone from her side of the family. When we tried to connect with her ,she went to relatives houses telling them lies and says to tell us to not speak to her, I worry for her, as she has upset her parents , has spread lies and severed ties of kinship, what can we do??
Barak'allah u feeka brother. Do you mind me telling which qaari's tilawaat is added at the beginning & end of this episode.
Shaykh Sajjad Gul
Hlw sheikh there's a sick sister of mine who is mentally ill and her problem is she can communicate with every one else except her child due to misfortune that happened to her and she is asking her child through others to take the blessing and cut ties with her since she is helpless due to her sickness
Thank you Brother. What if one has a child who is not Muslim and she eats haram (alcohol, pork etc) is it ok to cut relations?
Asa
Jzk
So the 3 day limit of boycotting only applies to family members not others...?
Please answer if anyone knows
Thanks
Wa Alaykum assalam
it applies to all Muslims
@@EPICMASJID ok thanks for replying
Jzk
what if im trying to see my relatives after multiple years but its mentally so hard for me because i havent see them for such a long time? im making dua and ask allah to make me stronger to do this but im scared to die in that condition on any time while im asking him, does he forgive while im trying?
I am not talking to my brother until and unless he goes with his family and stays with my mother. I pray for him and want the best for him but at the same time I have taken a stand so that my mother does not suffer living alone in old age. If I talk to him then he will think it is ok to leave your mother and let her live alone. I have no I'll feeling for him but I just want he should go and live with mother. Dont know if this is a sin but then what to do
My family has lied to me alot in my life aswell as sometimes force me to do stuff I don't wanna do. Untill I was 13 my mom hired people to spy on me when I went outside and could see everything I did online which they didnt tell me untill I was 12. This has caused me great harm as these things have Made me creat a hatred for this family aswell as not making me able to trust them with anything. Am I allowed to cut ties with them? (Planned to do it since 13 but need clearance to know if it's haram or not).
How about if your relative take your property, are u allowed to severe ties with them?
Cutting ties with family members specially female members is a middle eastern thing. They shame the woman for the same sin the man makes and then she suffers for her entire life for being cut off the protection of the men of her family. That’s why Allah says cutting ties with family is such a huge sin because it causes catastrophic problems, including that family member being raped or abused by strangers , even sold for slavery! It is a huge sin to cut ties for so many reasons so many things can go wrong when a family member is alienated!
What if ur father is a narcesist and mother is cold als ice/passive. What if ur parents neglected you and physically, mentally abused you , cursed at you, called you al kinds of names. What if you don’t feel any connection ore 0% feelings for ur own mother. What if they gaslighted you ur whole life and you are so confused. What if ur parents stil try to manipulate you and ur wife and children and they don’t respect boundries with my family. What if my parents made me so suicidal only hearing them speak make me vomit. What if i cannot wait for them to pas away and it would be the best day of my life? What if my parents broke my heart, poisioned my heart so much that i cannot wait and die and just get this al over with. And there is alot more.
Do i stil have to maintain relationshipt with complete disgusting psyhogpaths? Do i have to drink the poision and just smile and let my whole life crumble and meaby one die i would take my life?
Tel me internet sheikh, tel me please
Allah tells us to be kind towards parents at any cost but that doesn't mean you and your family suffer the pain. Also also tells us to forgive others and don't carry the pain and hurt with you all life. We are all tested in this Dunya and one of the major tests is mentally abusive parents. It's better for you to forgive and be dutiful to your parents but if you fear harm, disconnect for some time and then see if Allah has given them guidance. Disconnecting does not mean cutting ties, it's protecting yourself with the hope that they will get guidance through disconnection. Forgive them and seek mercy from Allah for yourself and them. If they start treating you better, keep the connection. Allah does not burden a soul which it can't bear.
Thinks are getting complicated in the western society when mother live with daughter instead of son. When mother's life goes down and live in a diaper, problem starts. Because mother needs 24 hrs support. Now sister seeks brother' s help because her husband complains. Now it is hard for sons. Because grand children from son's side did not get that bonding with grandmother, accept Assalamu Alyakum. And son didn't catter his life to look after the mother. I am talking about job issues. When someone live in a house, person becomes the member of the hose with good and bad time. But when suddenly dropped then big adjustment needed. Can son do the job or quit the job. How son will maintain his family?
Your 4th reason about harm, does this apply to your mental and physical health being affected? If a relative doesn’t want you in the family and is looking for reasons to break your marriage for years, wouldn’t that be a form of abuse? Especially if you end up with an illness and they still don’t want to know you? Can someone please explain if this is a viable reason?
Do I have to keep relations with relatives that have abused me and continue to abuse me ie physical violence past and racist abuse on going
Please advise
Yes
Okay so I need to just be verified if I stopped speaking to my female cousin because she is very evil hearted to me I'm supposed to talk to her anyway I mean I have forgiven her for the evil things that she has said and done to me and I will not ignore her if she talks to me but we do not speak at this point so am I in the wrong will I have the curse of Allah on me
No In Sha Allah . You are doing what you are supposed to do
If its safer to maintain contact via text or email then your doing your part inshallah and Allah knows best according to your and her personal situation, intentions, and ability
If a child is born from Zina do they have to keep ties with the “father”? I would assume not but thought I’d ask anyway ?
What if the child is being abused by his/her father?
What if your father is a drunken an he is abusive towards your mother an you are married an live in the same house an it’s affecting you mentally
Shame be on those who severe the sacred kinship for no valid reasons
12:30
Can we stay away from relatives those who are jealous of you and if they are backbiting on you ???
Don't disconnect but reduce the interactions I believe.
Ameen. What if my sister follows christianisme and my new is Also not Muslim n living without Nikah with her boyfriend? She keep asking to come to her house but I kee refusing as there will be no Islamic values there? But on the other hand I feel like am doing a sin for refusing her. I keep in touch only by phone that’s all. Please answer my question am so confused.
You still need to maintain ties of kinship. You can still go to her house.
But i thought allah doesn’t test you with something you cannot bear?
@Ustadh Mohamad Baajour -- If Durood e Ibrahim (the best of duas one can make and is an integral part of salah) states Allahumma SalliAlaa Muhamammad Wala Aalihi Muhammad .... and so on -- My Question is :::::Why should we hesitate in saying Salallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasalam when saying durood after speaking or hearing Prophet SA's name.
Why do we ignore saying salaam on Rasul SA's Aal everytime when we have to say Allahu Aliahi Wasalam?
I am a sunni muslim and am not posing this questions from a sectarian context. I believe that we are all muslims except those who deny Allah and his Prophet SA.
but sheikh what if you cut ties with extremally abusive parents. you haven't mentioned that.
When is it allowed to cut ties with relatives?
1. Cutting ✂️ ties with that person will make them STOP 🛑 committing MAJOR SINS
2. If they are committing SHIRK/BLACK MAGIC (Letting them in will ruin your household)
3. Family members who cause HARM/extremely BAD INFLUENCE to your religion.
4. Family members that cause unbearable HARM/THREAT.
Is there any one who can help me... i have nothing to feed my 3 year old daughter.. 😭 Arif from kashmir/india
Dear sheikh if someone has had enough and now he's suffering and his household is getting disturbed even the husband is annoyed and the people doing this are your parents and brothers and relatives should in Islam we suffer till we die and does everyone have nerves of steel to be treated badly what if his health is at risk I don't understand I'm confused I have seen many videos you say the same thing don't cut ties but how about you start making videos were you tell parents who are unjust and brothers who are evil what's going to happen to them especially parents who are hurting their children in so many ways instead of the other way around
It’s a story of most of Asian citizens 😔😔😔😔… once the daughter gets married, they start to alienate her in a very hurtful manner yet expecting so much from her and even her husband who is an outsider… this leads to a stressed and strained relationship between the two parties and unfortunately, she is the one to take all the brunt alone😔😔
So a sheik said we should atleast greet them with assalam alaykum right. But are we supposed to be saying assalam alaykum to kafirs???
Assalamualaikum Shaikh,
I appreciate your lecture until you get to the part about freely giving permission to cut family ties after explaining it is a great sin and Allah will cut off those who sever ties with kin.
Anyone could find an excuse to cut relations if e.g. someone listens to music or you feel he or she will weaken your faith because if how he or she talks or acts.
In the Holy Quran the ayah warns not to cut relations, but doesn't say unless you give a warning about something the relative is doing and they refuse to stop, then it's ok.
Where is the ayah or sahih hadith to back up the 4 permissions you grant for cutting relations?
Rasullulah's uncle Abu Talib remained a pagan and still he stayed close to him his whole life despite thr fact he never accepted Islam . Why didn't he set an example by cutting relations with him
I think it's very dangerous saying you can cut relations with kin in 4 instances and offering no scholarly proof for the 4 situations.
Please give a specific ayah or sahih hadith that backs up your 4 permissions. Jazakala
This is incorrect, Abu Talib were a muslim, protected the Holy Prophet sallahu alahi wa ahle wasalam, wrote poetry praising the Holy Prophet, also are the father of Hazrat Ali, and Paternal grandfather of Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain ( Peace be upon them all).
The Holy Prophet sallahu alahi wa ahle wasalam were also so saddened by the passing away of Abu Talib.
They weaken me, doung good and no one is appreciated, geeat sense of entitlement.
Can build up resentment, especially if there is mental, physical and emotional abuse.
Let us please address this shyaton is dread
Should incase they blocked you
My late mother was abused by her own son for over 30 years. After my mother's death, the abuse shifted to my father. They isolated him, cut off his friends, stolen his things, constantly abuse him. I found hidden cameras and taveez in my parentshouse. Now they want to throw him in an old people's home. I have nothing to do with them. They have the worst laanat on their faces. I only wish a lonely horrible end for them.